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( cell phone ringing )
2
00:00:47,893 --> 00:00:48,630
Hello?
3
00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:50,970
Oh, hello.
Is that Thomas Chadwick?
4
00:00:51,406 --> 00:00:52,133
Yep.
5
00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:53,870
Hello.
This is Brian.
6
00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:54,913
Hi, Pete.
7
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,970
I'm calling...
you did...
8
00:00:57,010 --> 00:00:58,090
You know what gave it away
9
00:00:58,106 --> 00:01:01,010
was that you just sounded
like yourself.
10
00:01:01,050 --> 00:01:02,440
You didn't even put on a voice.
11
00:01:02,450 --> 00:01:03,880
I did.
I was doing a voice.
12
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:07,250
I was doing
my insurance person voice.
13
00:01:07,290 --> 00:01:08,350
Anyway, how are you?
14
00:01:08,390 --> 00:01:10,190
- I'm really great!
- Are you in America?
15
00:01:10,220 --> 00:01:12,780
Is it hot and sunny?
Are there girls in bikinis?
16
00:01:12,866 --> 00:01:14,700
- Have you got a suntan yet?
- Kinda.
17
00:01:14,730 --> 00:01:16,330
Oh, lucky sod.
18
00:01:16,613 --> 00:01:18,100
Anyway, I've got
your mail here.
19
00:01:18,130 --> 00:01:19,560
Oh, that's great.
Thanks.
20
00:01:19,773 --> 00:01:22,010
- Do you want me to go through it?
- Uh...
21
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,440
Crap, crap,
22
00:01:23,470 --> 00:01:25,140
fast food, crap,
23
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:26,980
bollocks.
24
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,680
Oh, Clancy Lorimer Insurers?
25
00:01:29,973 --> 00:01:31,620
Ooh.
Open that one.
26
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:33,350
All right.
27
00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:34,560
Here we go.
28
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,690
Here we go.
Here we go.
29
00:01:38,190 --> 00:01:40,160
"Dear Mr. Chadwick..."
duh duh duh duh duh.
30
00:01:40,190 --> 00:01:41,930
"We are pleased to inform you
31
00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:43,530
that you have beenselected to interview
32
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,770
for the position
of crash analyst
33
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,640
in our crash investigation
department."
34
00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:49,770
Get in!
35
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:51,140
Get in, my beauty.
36
00:01:51,170 --> 00:01:52,910
That's great!
When is it?
37
00:01:52,940 --> 00:01:55,140
Uh, it's a week
after you get back.
38
00:01:55,180 --> 00:01:56,710
Bring that letter with you
when you get in.
39
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,780
- Yeah, all right.
- When do you get in?
40
00:01:58,810 --> 00:02:01,850
I'm flying into LA
on the Thursday
41
00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:03,390
and I'm getting in
about 10:00.
42
00:02:03,420 --> 00:02:04,390
Okay, great.
43
00:02:04,420 --> 00:02:06,190
Flying into LA.
44
00:02:06,220 --> 00:02:07,890
All right, then?
45
00:02:09,130 --> 00:02:10,260
Are you there?
46
00:02:10,290 --> 00:02:12,900
- Tom?
- Let's do this.
47
00:02:12,930 --> 00:02:15,900
Pete:
Tom? Are you there?
48
00:02:15,930 --> 00:02:18,000
( beeps )
49
00:02:18,070 --> 00:02:19,200
Tom?
50
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:25,310
Hello.
51
00:02:28,550 --> 00:02:30,210
( meows )
52
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,750
Oh.
53
00:02:32,780 --> 00:02:34,920
Okay.
54
00:02:36,050 --> 00:02:37,350
- Morning, Tom.
- Hey.
55
00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:40,690
- How'd you sleep?
- Great. I slept great.
56
00:02:40,730 --> 00:02:42,130
Good.
57
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,260
I was doing a little
rummaging around the attic
58
00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:45,760
and look what I found.
59
00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,030
Tom:
Oh, it's Charles.
60
00:02:48,070 --> 00:02:49,940
Yeah, your
great-great-grandfather.
61
00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:52,400
- That's so great.
- In a different uniform.
62
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,010
- It is?
- Yeah.
63
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,010
Oh, yeah.
It's a little lighter.
64
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,850
He's wearing
the Confederacy uniform.
65
00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,780
That's the uniform
for the other side.
66
00:03:00,820 --> 00:03:03,720
- Oh, that's not the same uniform?
- No. No, no, no.
67
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,590
- Oh, that's interesting.
- Yeah, isn't it?
68
00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,050
You're sure it's not...?
69
00:03:07,090 --> 00:03:08,590
Maybe they just had
different uniforms...
70
00:03:08,620 --> 00:03:10,890
No, no, no.
Rebel cap, Rebel uniform.
71
00:03:10,930 --> 00:03:12,290
That's what it is.
72
00:03:12,330 --> 00:03:15,190
- Button missing, too, here.
- Yeah.
73
00:03:15,230 --> 00:03:17,700
He's bad at needlework.
74
00:03:17,730 --> 00:03:19,960
Maybe.
75
00:03:19,990 --> 00:03:22,290
Maybe.
76
00:03:24,430 --> 00:03:28,330
- Al: Fascinating.
- Tom: It's a mystery is what it is.
77
00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,090
Somebody here thinks
it's a coincidence
78
00:03:30,130 --> 00:03:32,500
that he lost one button
from each jacket?
79
00:03:32,530 --> 00:03:34,730
- That part is interesting.
- And then found them later?
80
00:03:34,770 --> 00:03:37,070
Are these the actual buttons?
81
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:40,040
- Those are the buttons.
- Oh, my God, those are so pretty.
82
00:03:40,070 --> 00:03:42,770
Well, that's why they're not on
there, 'cause you guys have them.
83
00:03:42,810 --> 00:03:44,240
I've got another theory.
84
00:03:44,270 --> 00:03:48,010
He left two days
after Lincoln was shot.
85
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,140
How nice would it be to have
86
00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:52,880
two different uniforms
to pass freely?
87
00:03:52,910 --> 00:03:54,150
I'm sorry, Al.
You think he's a double agent?
88
00:03:54,180 --> 00:03:55,750
Al:
Maybe triple.
89
00:03:55,780 --> 00:03:57,820
David, why don't you have
a look at this?
90
00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:02,360
Well, I don't know much
91
00:04:02,390 --> 00:04:05,760
about the historical part
of the war itself,
92
00:04:05,790 --> 00:04:10,260
but I do know that obviously
he's a man in the Confederacy.
93
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:11,730
And the thing I see
94
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,530
more than anything else
that I noticed,
95
00:04:13,570 --> 00:04:16,730
'cause I'm not a uniform expert,
is I look at his hands.
96
00:04:16,770 --> 00:04:19,700
We used to call this
gnarly hands.
97
00:04:19,740 --> 00:04:21,700
- Gnarly...
- Gnarly hands, yeah.
98
00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:24,670
This is from fear...
from fear of being in battle.
99
00:04:24,710 --> 00:04:27,210
When you're fighting,
your hands get all
100
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,940
kind of rigor mortized
like that.
101
00:04:28,980 --> 00:04:31,650
And, you know, in the old days,
102
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:32,810
they'd say,
"Hey, gnarly hands!"
103
00:04:32,850 --> 00:04:34,580
Across the street
they'd yell at him.
104
00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:36,320
And he was...
that was embarrassing.
105
00:04:36,350 --> 00:04:37,890
But it's for a good cause,
106
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:39,650
because look...he has no ill will.
107
00:04:39,690 --> 00:04:42,060
He's a nice-looking boy.
He's our relative.
108
00:04:42,090 --> 00:04:44,420
I have heard the term
"gnarly hands" before.
109
00:04:44,460 --> 00:04:46,030
I actually have
a friend that is...
110
00:04:46,060 --> 00:04:47,530
well, I'm into thisa little bit.
111
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,930
A bit of a passion of mine
is Civil War reenactment.
112
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,230
- He's really good at it.
- And really fun to do.
113
00:04:52,270 --> 00:04:54,400
You're living,
you know, history.
114
00:04:54,430 --> 00:04:57,770
How does he have access
to the opponent's uniform?
115
00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,170
Let me talk to my buddy.
116
00:04:59,210 --> 00:05:02,010
I've got to drop Julie off
at her spinning class.
117
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,980
- If the hands comes up, great.
- Okay.
118
00:05:05,010 --> 00:05:07,810
But it would be great to know
119
00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:10,380
why he's wearing
either of the things.
120
00:05:10,420 --> 00:05:13,890
- Can I see that one, Dave?
- I can promise you there's a reason.
121
00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,120
- Man: There they are.
- Harvey, good to see you again.
122
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,360
- Good to see you, pal.
- This is Tom.
123
00:05:17,390 --> 00:05:18,420
- Tom!
- That's right.
124
00:05:18,460 --> 00:05:20,160
Nice to meet you.
Come on in.
125
00:05:20,190 --> 00:05:21,530
- Thanks very much.
- I love the cannon.
126
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:22,690
Thanks.I just got it.
127
00:05:22,730 --> 00:05:25,460
It's an 1861 Napoleon.
128
00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:26,860
Come on in, guys.
Have a seat.
129
00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:28,730
I'm telling you, Harvey,
that cannon looks brand-new.
130
00:05:28,770 --> 00:05:30,270
- Is that a new coat of paint?
- It is.
131
00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:31,670
- Doesn't it look good?
- God, it looks great.
132
00:05:31,700 --> 00:05:33,600
And I got new 12-pounders
for it, too.
133
00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:35,000
- Oh, those 12-pounders fire off.
- Yeah.
134
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,240
- Rick: When's the last time you fired it?
- Once a weekend.
135
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:40,080
- Yeah.
- In the morning, early. Annoy the neighbors.
136
00:05:40,110 --> 00:05:41,580
- Tom: Yeah.
- Rick: That's great.
137
00:05:41,610 --> 00:05:42,950
Neighbors are the worst.
138
00:05:42,980 --> 00:05:45,580
You are not gonna believe the
stuff that Tom has to show you.
139
00:05:45,620 --> 00:05:48,890
- This stuff's incredible.
- So this is a picture
140
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:52,020
of my great-great-grandfather
Charles Chadwick.
141
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:53,660
All right, this is
Charles Chadwick, huh?
142
00:05:53,660 --> 00:05:55,690
Okay. I see.
A Union man. Good.
143
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,390
But here is also a picture
144
00:05:57,430 --> 00:06:00,500
of my great-great-grandfatherCharles Chadwick.
145
00:06:00,530 --> 00:06:02,230
Well, that's very interesting.
146
00:06:02,270 --> 00:06:03,830
Okay. Wow.
147
00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:05,100
And some buttons.
148
00:06:05,130 --> 00:06:07,000
Really?
149
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:10,570
Now, I see he's missing
a button on each uniform.
150
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:11,640
Yeah.
151
00:06:11,670 --> 00:06:13,540
Yeah, there we go...Confederate and Union.
152
00:06:13,580 --> 00:06:15,280
I want to look something up.
153
00:06:15,310 --> 00:06:17,480
I... I'm privy
to an online site
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00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:19,580
- that a lot of people don't get to see.
- Oh, cool.
155
00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:22,820
- They're almost like official war documents.
- Do they look like normal...
156
00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:24,390
No, they don't look like
anything you'd see,
157
00:06:24,420 --> 00:06:26,050
so it's kind ofa waste of time.
158
00:06:26,090 --> 00:06:28,590
Even taking a peek, it'd be all
spaghetti and mushrooms to you.
159
00:06:28,630 --> 00:06:30,490
Let me do the grunt work here.
160
00:06:30,530 --> 00:06:32,630
Charles Chadwick...
there it is.
161
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:35,000
Union... Union soldier.
Unlisted, yep.
162
00:06:35,030 --> 00:06:37,630
And there, sure enough,
Confederate.
163
00:06:37,670 --> 00:06:40,140
- Charles Chadwick.
- Whoa.
164
00:06:40,170 --> 00:06:41,540
Yeah, both sides.
165
00:06:41,570 --> 00:06:42,840
Oh, wow, wow.
166
00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,840
Oh. Look at this.
167
00:06:44,910 --> 00:06:47,410
Okay, so, he foughtfor the Union side
168
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,050
and the Confederate side,
169
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,680
both in the same battle...
170
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,350
the Battle of Huntersville.
171
00:06:53,420 --> 00:06:56,090
That's not even poss...
but how would you do that?
172
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,460
Yeah, what do you do?
Excuse yourself to go change?
173
00:06:58,490 --> 00:07:00,420
- I mean...
- I'm just gonna throw this out there.
174
00:07:00,460 --> 00:07:03,560
- Yeah.
- What if he was a spy?
175
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,760
A spy?
But for who?
176
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,170
You tell me.
Your machine.
177
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,740
Well, I'll do what I can.
I'll put...
178
00:07:10,770 --> 00:07:14,140
- Put it in.
- Oh, you know what I'm getting?
179
00:07:14,170 --> 00:07:16,040
And I've never gotten this.
180
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:18,250
- I got a question mark.
- What does that mean?
181
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,420
It doesn't know.
It's never seen this before.
182
00:07:20,460 --> 00:07:22,790
- You've jammed the whole system with this.
- I'm getting synonyms.
183
00:07:22,830 --> 00:07:25,530
I'm getting traitor,
deserter, coward.
184
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,030
Okay. Don't bother. Don't worry.
185
00:07:27,070 --> 00:07:28,930
You know what?Let me dig into this.
186
00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,540
We've got a reenactment
coming up this weekend.
187
00:07:30,570 --> 00:07:33,210
- Rick, what do you think?
- Yeah, Tom, you gotta do one of these.
188
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,980
- That would be great.
- Rick: This is the real thing.
189
00:07:35,010 --> 00:07:37,410
- You're welcome to come if you'd like.
- I would love that. Thank you.
190
00:07:37,450 --> 00:07:39,580
If you do that, then I'll show
up with some information and...
191
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:42,350
'cause I'll tell you, where
there's smoke, there's fire.
192
00:07:42,380 --> 00:07:44,450
And you got a blaze
happening here, my friend.
193
00:07:44,490 --> 00:07:47,150
Rick: It's so great you can
come by and see our place here.
194
00:07:47,190 --> 00:07:49,360
- Yeah, this is great.
- ( seagulls screeching )
195
00:07:50,490 --> 00:07:52,360
Come on in.
196
00:07:52,390 --> 00:07:55,030
- Ooh.
- So... yeah, this is it.
197
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:57,460
- Lovely.
- This is it.
198
00:07:57,500 --> 00:08:00,070
- Isn't this great?
- ( sighs )
199
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:04,040
You need to look no further
than the ocean view.
200
00:08:05,010 --> 00:08:06,440
Isn't that nice?
201
00:08:06,470 --> 00:08:08,410
No, see, there's a house
in front of it.
202
00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:12,110
That... if the house wasn't...
the tree blocks a little
203
00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:13,390
and the house
blocks most of it,
204
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,250
- but the ocean's right there.
- Oh, right.
205
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,180
So if that was
an invisible house,
206
00:08:17,220 --> 00:08:18,720
that would be a sea view.
207
00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:19,720
Hypothetically, sure.
208
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:21,860
But if that house isn't there,
209
00:08:21,890 --> 00:08:24,490
180-degree view
of the Pacific.
210
00:08:24,530 --> 00:08:26,590
It's why you pay California
state tax right there.
211
00:08:26,630 --> 00:08:28,400
- Ah, lovely.
- It's right there.
212
00:08:28,430 --> 00:08:30,300
Can you feel the sea airjust coming in?
213
00:08:30,330 --> 00:08:31,530
- I think I can.
- Yeah? Yeah.
214
00:08:31,570 --> 00:08:33,090
But you can't see it.
You can't see it.
215
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:35,470
- Tom: Not at all.
- Rick: But you really feel the ocean.
216
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:36,770
Hey, look.
A three-legged dog.
217
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,710
Rick:
Oh, yeah, yeah.
218
00:08:38,740 --> 00:08:40,670
Actually, we get a lot of them
here in Redondo Beach.
219
00:08:40,710 --> 00:08:42,340
It's really quite spectacular.
220
00:08:42,380 --> 00:08:44,810
Hey, what do you think
of my owls?
221
00:08:44,850 --> 00:08:46,450
Tom:
Oh, sweet Lord.
222
00:08:46,550 --> 00:08:47,850
Yeah.
They're pretty amazing.
223
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,080
She actually... she'll name
them all for you, if you want.
224
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:51,920
- You have so many owls.
- Chachi's a new one.
225
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:53,190
Hey, let me show you the stuff
226
00:08:53,220 --> 00:08:54,720
that we're gonna be taking
over to the reenactment.
227
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:56,290
You gotta check this out, man.
I got some great stuff.
228
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:57,520
- Show him Clover.
- Clover's right there.
229
00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:58,720
Clover's got
the big orange eyes
230
00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:00,090
that almost look like
it's an infection.
231
00:09:00,130 --> 00:09:01,360
Come on back here.
Let me show you...
232
00:09:01,390 --> 00:09:02,890
I'll make you guys some coffee.
233
00:09:02,930 --> 00:09:05,130
Rick: Okay. Sounds good, hon.
Thanks.
234
00:09:05,230 --> 00:09:06,370
Hey, guys.
235
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:08,370
This is really the coolest
spot in the whole house.
236
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,770
- Holy moly!
- Yeah.
237
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,240
See this right here?
238
00:09:11,270 --> 00:09:13,740
This is an authentic replica
239
00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:15,510
of an actual Civil War blanket.
240
00:09:15,540 --> 00:09:17,310
- A blanket.
- Yeah. Isn't that amazing?
241
00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:19,650
- That is something else.
- Yeah, and this is a forage cap.
242
00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:20,980
- Oh.
- Right here.
243
00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:22,780
And see, the reason it's
different than a kepi...
244
00:09:22,820 --> 00:09:24,350
because this actually...
you would take the...
245
00:09:24,390 --> 00:09:26,420
- Big gun!
- It is, it is.
246
00:09:26,450 --> 00:09:28,660
- That's actually a musket.
- Oh, my God, it's heavy.
247
00:09:28,690 --> 00:09:30,520
- It is.
- You could just... uh!
248
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,030
That would happen in war.
You never know.
249
00:09:32,060 --> 00:09:33,790
Normally you would...
no, no, no.
250
00:09:33,830 --> 00:09:35,200
Don't ever put your mouth
near the barrel.
251
00:09:35,230 --> 00:09:36,600
Why don't we go ahead
and put that back
252
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:37,790
because I don't know for sure
253
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,530
that that's been cleared
since my last battle.
254
00:09:39,570 --> 00:09:41,140
- Great costumes.
- Yeah.
255
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:42,640
Those actually aren't costumes.
256
00:09:42,670 --> 00:09:44,070
We refer to them as uniforms.
257
00:09:44,110 --> 00:09:47,070
- Yeah.
- So take a gander, see what you think.
258
00:09:47,110 --> 00:09:49,410
- Ah, green.
- Yeah, I can see why it stood out.
259
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,850
This is actually
a Union sharpshooter.
260
00:09:51,910 --> 00:09:53,110
You couldn't wear this, though.
261
00:09:53,110 --> 00:09:54,620
You would need to train
extensively.
262
00:09:54,650 --> 00:09:56,450
- Even for the reenactment?
- Especially for...
263
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,520
- It's just make-believe.
- We had a friend of ours last week...
264
00:09:58,550 --> 00:10:00,090
- he's fine now, but they're...
- Hey.
265
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:01,520
Hi.
266
00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:03,160
- What's up?
- We're out of coffee.
267
00:10:03,190 --> 00:10:05,290
( sighs ) Wasn't it your
turn to do the shopping?
268
00:10:05,330 --> 00:10:06,600
Why would we be out of coffee?
269
00:10:06,630 --> 00:10:08,360
You have six hours a dayto go shopping.
270
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,470
How dare you?
I don't.
271
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:11,970
I have four hours a day
to go shopping.
272
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,600
K-Cups... do we have any K-Cups left?
Even that?
273
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,870
You know what? Why don't I just
run out and get us some coffee?
274
00:10:16,910 --> 00:10:17,870
Rick: No, no.You don't need to do that.
275
00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:19,870
No coffee's better than
the coffee shop coffee.
276
00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:20,880
Julie, we have no coffee,
you're saying.
277
00:10:20,910 --> 00:10:22,740
- We've got milk.
- Okay.
278
00:10:22,780 --> 00:10:24,210
I'll go on out. You know what?
I'd like to.
279
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:26,050
Just get some fresh air
and take in
280
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:27,850
some of that sea salt
in my face.
281
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:29,420
That would be good.
Yeah, you would enjoy it.
282
00:10:29,450 --> 00:10:32,020
- Then we can talk about the blanket.
- Absolutely.
283
00:10:32,050 --> 00:10:34,690
- The fact that you're making somebody...
- It's fine.
284
00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,890
...do that for coffee...
285
00:10:36,930 --> 00:10:38,770
You honestly think I'm
making him go get coffee?
286
00:10:40,230 --> 00:10:42,530
( car tires screech, crashes )
287
00:10:42,570 --> 00:10:44,370
Man:
Are you serious?!
288
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:47,640
- What the hell is wrong with you?
- Me? What's wrong with you?
289
00:10:47,670 --> 00:10:50,370
- Are you fucking blind?
- You're stopping in the middle of the street.
290
00:10:50,410 --> 00:10:53,310
That's not the middle of the street.
I'm at the red light.
291
00:10:53,340 --> 00:10:54,840
Just super.
Thank you very much.
292
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:56,140
- What were you thinking?
- My fault?
293
00:10:56,180 --> 00:10:57,480
- You turn right on the red.
- No, you don't...
294
00:10:57,510 --> 00:10:59,310
Hey, uh, sorry, sorry.
I don't want to interrupt,
295
00:10:59,350 --> 00:11:01,120
but I did see what happened
from the pavement there.
296
00:11:01,150 --> 00:11:03,750
Please tell her. You turn
right on a right-hand lane.
297
00:11:03,820 --> 00:11:05,020
Well, this is what happened,
298
00:11:05,050 --> 00:11:06,390
if you want to know
what happened.
299
00:11:06,450 --> 00:11:07,620
What happened was
that you were traveling
300
00:11:07,660 --> 00:11:09,290
between 11 and 13
miles per hour.
301
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,130
You didn't leave yourself
adequate braking distance.
302
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:12,690
She was stopped at a red light
303
00:11:12,730 --> 00:11:14,100
and you didn't notice
because you were texting.
304
00:11:14,130 --> 00:11:16,060
- I was not texting.
- You're still texting right now.
305
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:19,400
I'm e-mailing to let people know I was
late because of what you just did.
306
00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,140
You're supposed
to turn right on a red.
307
00:11:21,170 --> 00:11:23,340
That sign actually means
there's no right turn on red.
308
00:11:23,370 --> 00:11:26,070
What are you, the superstar witness
traffic leprechaun or something?
309
00:11:26,110 --> 00:11:28,480
- Did you just call me a leprechaun?
- I called you a leprechaun.
310
00:11:28,510 --> 00:11:31,210
( Irish accent ) Faith and Begorrah,
you can't turn right on a red.
311
00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:32,550
I'm twice the height
of a leprechaun!
312
00:11:32,580 --> 00:11:34,220
Then you're a tall leprechaun.
I need your information.
313
00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:36,620
Okay, all right.
Big neck!
314
00:11:36,650 --> 00:11:38,350
Just take a step back.
315
00:11:38,390 --> 00:11:39,910
I might be too tall
to be a leprechaun,
316
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:41,890
but I'm exactly
the right size and build
317
00:11:41,930 --> 00:11:45,190
to be in the British Special
Forces, which I am.
318
00:11:45,230 --> 00:11:47,800
In Redondo Beach
on a recon mission.
319
00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:50,530
But I can take 10 minutes out
to crush you like a twig
320
00:11:50,570 --> 00:11:52,570
if you don't just chill out,
321
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:56,010
rein in the mythical racism,
322
00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:59,240
and be polite to the lady
who you just rear-ended.
323
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:02,110
You know what?
I don't have time for this.
324
00:12:02,150 --> 00:12:04,310
I'll pay for it.
That's my information.
325
00:12:04,350 --> 00:12:06,320
Okay, great.
Good, yeah.
326
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:08,080
That's more like it.
327
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:11,190
( door closes, engine starts )
328
00:12:11,220 --> 00:12:13,060
( metal breaks off, clanks )
329
00:12:13,090 --> 00:12:15,220
Ha ha.
330
00:12:15,260 --> 00:12:17,260
( car departs )
331
00:12:17,290 --> 00:12:19,260
Fuck.
332
00:12:19,330 --> 00:12:20,860
( both groan )
333
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:23,370
- You all right?
- Uh-huh, yeah. I... well...
334
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:26,100
Yeah, I'm like that.
335
00:12:26,140 --> 00:12:30,610
Um... I'm not really
in the Special Forces.
336
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,580
I'm afraid of cats.
But take my number.
337
00:12:33,610 --> 00:12:35,010
I could be a witness
or something.
338
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,480
- Yeah?
- Can you just hold those for...
339
00:12:36,510 --> 00:12:38,480
- Yeah. Thank you.
- You can take a sip out of...
340
00:12:38,510 --> 00:12:41,220
Here it is.
341
00:12:41,250 --> 00:12:43,620
- My name is Tom.
- I'm Ally.
342
00:12:43,650 --> 00:12:44,690
- Ally.
- Yeah.
343
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,560
I've written Ally.
344
00:12:46,590 --> 00:12:48,690
- That's my name, yeah.
- Which is not my name, so that's a good start.
345
00:12:48,730 --> 00:12:51,960
- Really, thank you for coming to...
- Hey, don't worry.
346
00:12:53,030 --> 00:12:56,530
There you go.
So just call me, Ally.
347
00:12:56,570 --> 00:12:58,370
Uh, so... oh, coffee.
348
00:12:58,400 --> 00:12:59,900
Thank you.
349
00:12:59,940 --> 00:13:01,340
I will try you.
350
00:13:01,370 --> 00:13:03,540
Try me.
I'm good to go.
351
00:13:03,570 --> 00:13:04,670
Okay.
352
00:13:04,710 --> 00:13:06,040
Thank you again.
I...
353
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,180
At your service.
354
00:13:08,210 --> 00:13:10,980
I'm not really in the army.
355
00:13:16,950 --> 00:13:18,490
Honey, this package
is incredible.
356
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:21,820
- It has a Turkish spa and it...
- Knock, knock.
357
00:13:21,860 --> 00:13:23,190
- Hey!
- Hey.
358
00:13:23,230 --> 00:13:25,430
Sorry, I'm so...
these are gonna be so cold.
359
00:13:25,460 --> 00:13:27,530
It's okay. I was a little
worried about you,
360
00:13:27,570 --> 00:13:28,830
but I'm glad you made it back.
361
00:13:28,870 --> 00:13:31,370
No, I was fine.
I was just... I had a...
362
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:32,870
I was enjoying the sea air.
363
00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:34,300
That's what you should do.
364
00:13:34,340 --> 00:13:35,970
When you're right on the
water, that's what you do.
365
00:13:36,010 --> 00:13:38,540
Hey, before I forget, let's
get your uniform figured out.
366
00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:40,310
Which one caught your eye?
367
00:13:40,340 --> 00:13:42,750
I don't care.
The red one?
368
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,880
Oh, the Zouave.
Good eye.
369
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:46,620
That's gonna be great for you.
370
00:13:48,420 --> 00:13:51,490
Here you go, Tom.
There's your musket.
371
00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:54,290
And my firearm.
372
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,730
Oh...
373
00:13:56,790 --> 00:13:58,190
I'm starting to get
fired up, man.
374
00:13:58,230 --> 00:14:00,300
- This is the time where I just
really feel it, you know? - Yeah.
375
00:14:00,330 --> 00:14:01,960
I mean, you're about
to live history right here.
376
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,800
I don't look like
a Russian dancing bear?
377
00:14:03,830 --> 00:14:05,370
It's nothing like that.
That's honored.
378
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:06,940
- He does look like that.
- That's 5th New York.
379
00:14:06,970 --> 00:14:08,700
- This is an honored regiment.
- Okay.
380
00:14:08,740 --> 00:14:10,010
Let me give you a couple of
things that'll help you out,
381
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:11,310
make it a little bit more fun.
382
00:14:11,340 --> 00:14:13,480
You might have someone
that's called a stitch Nazi
383
00:14:13,510 --> 00:14:14,740
who'll wanna kind of
pick over your outfit.
384
00:14:14,780 --> 00:14:16,750
You know, they might
go over this or like this...
385
00:14:16,780 --> 00:14:19,020
"Oh, I don't like that
because that's not proper."
386
00:14:19,050 --> 00:14:21,180
The obvious one is the sunglasses.
That's farby.
387
00:14:21,220 --> 00:14:24,450
Okay? Farby is
"far from being authentic."
388
00:14:24,490 --> 00:14:25,890
- Okay.
- Yeah.
389
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:27,720
And he's not wearing socks.
390
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,360
It's just the size
of the uniform.
391
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:30,360
It looks weird to me.
392
00:14:30,390 --> 00:14:31,860
It would cover.
It would cover.
393
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:33,330
- And then...
- Gentlemen.
394
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:34,600
- Hey!
- Hello.
395
00:14:34,630 --> 00:14:36,130
- Morning.
- General Krupp, how are you, sir?
396
00:14:36,170 --> 00:14:37,270
- Very good, sir.
- Julie: Hi.
397
00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:38,570
You know what?
A salute will be fine.
398
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:39,770
- All right.
- Yes.
399
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,210
Oh, got some very exciting news
400
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:42,600
about your
great-great-grandfather.
401
00:14:42,670 --> 00:14:43,840
- Oh, that's great.
- You know what?
402
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:45,910
I've got to go plan a battle,
but maybe we can meet up later.
403
00:14:45,940 --> 00:14:47,810
- You got it.
- Okay, excellent.
404
00:14:47,850 --> 00:14:49,310
There we go.
405
00:14:49,350 --> 00:14:51,180
Oh, you're gonna lose the
sunglasses and you've got no socks.
406
00:14:51,220 --> 00:14:52,750
Ma'am.
407
00:14:52,820 --> 00:14:53,720
That's why I was saying
something like that
408
00:14:53,750 --> 00:14:55,320
could happen, you know,
pretty easily.
409
00:14:55,350 --> 00:14:57,320
We need to talk.
410
00:14:58,220 --> 00:14:59,620
What?
We need to talk?
411
00:14:59,660 --> 00:15:02,160
Hey, is there anywhere I could
get a breakfast burrito?
412
00:15:02,190 --> 00:15:04,360
Uh, yeah.
Glen's Sutlery.
413
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:05,460
Next to it is Rico's.
414
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:06,900
He's usually gotstuff like that.
415
00:15:06,930 --> 00:15:08,200
Okay, cool.
You want anything?
416
00:15:08,230 --> 00:15:09,500
- No, I'm good.
- All right.
417
00:15:09,530 --> 00:15:10,930
See you later.
418
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,770
What do we need to talk about?
419
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:15,670
I told you I wanted
to be a nurse
420
00:15:15,710 --> 00:15:17,140
and I'm the only
prostitute here.
421
00:15:17,170 --> 00:15:18,840
I think you look incredible.
422
00:15:18,870 --> 00:15:20,710
Julie: I don't believe it.
And I don't look incredible.
423
00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:23,040
- You look so hot.
- No, I don't.
424
00:15:23,110 --> 00:15:24,450
No, it looks great.
425
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:27,580
- What the...
- Man: You have got to be joking.
426
00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:30,280
Look at yourself. You're going
to make an ass of yourself.
427
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,620
- We can't have two...
- Now you may go.
428
00:15:31,650 --> 00:15:33,150
- You need to...
- Just shut, okay?
429
00:15:33,190 --> 00:15:35,220
You're leaving
and I am staying here.
430
00:15:35,260 --> 00:15:36,500
- I drove...
- I'm the president!
431
00:15:36,530 --> 00:15:38,890
- I'm not leaving.
- You are free to go.
432
00:15:38,930 --> 00:15:40,430
- Let me tell you something.
- I free you!
433
00:15:40,460 --> 00:15:42,530
Emancipate this, motherfucker!
434
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,730
- You want a piece of me?
- Don't you fuckin' do that to me.
435
00:15:44,770 --> 00:15:48,200
- I'm...
- ( both grunting )
436
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,240
You're out...
you're out of here.
437
00:15:50,310 --> 00:15:53,070
That really hurts.
That really hurts.
438
00:15:53,110 --> 00:15:55,440
Colonel Rivers is gonna march his
battalion in in columns of companies.
439
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:58,450
He's gonna maneuver around,
take a line at the fence.
440
00:15:58,510 --> 00:16:00,750
Your Confederate division
is going to attack the fence,
441
00:16:00,780 --> 00:16:01,920
which we will defend.
442
00:16:01,950 --> 00:16:03,120
- Harvey?
- Yeah.
443
00:16:03,150 --> 00:16:05,090
This is all well and good,
444
00:16:05,150 --> 00:16:06,720
but when you take a hit,
you gotta go down.
445
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:08,960
- Oh, we're gonna go there.
- Seriously. Yes, we are gonna go there.
446
00:16:08,990 --> 00:16:10,730
No, we go down.
We go down every time.
447
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,460
No, I've got guys that are driving
in from Antioch for six hours
448
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:15,300
and they're not gonna
go down in one second.
449
00:16:15,330 --> 00:16:17,270
Very simply, more of your
guys have to go down
450
00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:19,440
than my guys have to go
down because we win.
451
00:16:19,470 --> 00:16:21,100
Phil:
I understand that.
452
00:16:21,140 --> 00:16:22,640
There's nothing that killsa reenactment quicker
453
00:16:22,670 --> 00:16:24,210
than live soldiers
running around.
454
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:25,640
- You gotta go down.
- How about killing a reenactment
455
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,180
by the open drunkenness
that you guys have last time?
456
00:16:28,210 --> 00:16:29,410
You were drinking so much,
457
00:16:29,450 --> 00:16:30,650
you didn't know where you were.
458
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,520
Guys were reenacting
battles from "Braveheart,"
459
00:16:32,550 --> 00:16:33,680
not the Civil War.
460
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:35,890
And easy on the gunpowder
in the cannons.
461
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:36,690
They're setting off
the car alarms
462
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:37,890
and then I lose the permit.
463
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,390
That was too much.
We won't drink this time.
464
00:16:39,420 --> 00:16:41,260
Yeah, I mean, it would
be easy to scoff
465
00:16:41,290 --> 00:16:44,760
at the sight of hundreds
of grown men
466
00:16:44,830 --> 00:16:47,060
putting on costumes
and playing war,
467
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:49,000
but I'm no different.
468
00:16:49,030 --> 00:16:53,540
My great-great-grandfather
fought in this war
469
00:16:53,570 --> 00:16:56,140
where 600,000 men died.
470
00:16:56,170 --> 00:16:59,180
He fought for both sides.
471
00:16:59,210 --> 00:17:02,050
Which is something I'll
probably keep to myself.
472
00:17:03,310 --> 00:17:06,750
But the truth is
they're here to remember.
473
00:17:06,780 --> 00:17:10,990
And there's nothing wrong
with that.
474
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:13,590
Sorry, I'm just keeping an eye
475
00:17:13,620 --> 00:17:16,030
on the queue
for the corn dog stand.
476
00:17:16,060 --> 00:17:17,990
( band playing )
477
00:17:48,630 --> 00:17:52,260
Man:
Shoulder arms!
478
00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:55,300
Forward march.
479
00:17:56,670 --> 00:17:59,000
Harvey: To those of
you who do not die,
480
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,210
you will smell
the bowels of death...
481
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:06,080
for many of us will fall today.
482
00:18:06,110 --> 00:18:08,080
I will not.
483
00:18:08,110 --> 00:18:11,720
But over time,
most of you will die.
484
00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:15,090
So fear not death.
485
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,890
In fact, turn to the
proud soldier beside you
486
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:21,560
and say, "So long."
487
00:18:21,590 --> 00:18:23,430
- So long.
- So long, Rick.
488
00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:26,330
We are such a fine unit
that we fear nothing.
489
00:18:26,370 --> 00:18:30,470
In fact, to us, we are so
confident, we whistle...
490
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:33,870
whistle tunes that give us
comfort and courage.
491
00:18:33,910 --> 00:18:35,610
Let me hear you whistle.
492
00:18:37,110 --> 00:18:39,750
( men whistling )
493
00:18:39,780 --> 00:18:42,850
Music, gentlemen.
Music.
494
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,120
Fire!
495
00:18:44,150 --> 00:18:45,650
- ( car alarms blaring )
- Fire!
496
00:18:45,690 --> 00:18:49,290
- Fire!
- Company, charge!
497
00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:53,930
- Man: Keep in line, keep in line.
- ( car alarms chirp )
498
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,300
- We're gonna kill them?
- Rick: Yeah. Don't point.
499
00:18:56,330 --> 00:19:00,000
- I feel my hay fever kicking in.
- Yeah, that'll be fine later.
500
00:19:00,030 --> 00:19:01,840
Man #2:
Rear rank, ready!
501
00:19:01,870 --> 00:19:04,170
- Fire!
- Jesus Christ!
502
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:05,710
Man #3:
Ready, aim...
503
00:19:05,740 --> 00:19:08,880
- Man #2: Firing by battalion.
- ...fire!
504
00:19:08,910 --> 00:19:11,610
- Man #2: Front rank, ready!
- Here we go. That's us.
505
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:14,180
Aim!
506
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:16,220
- Fire!
- Whoa!
507
00:19:18,150 --> 00:19:19,750
- Man #4: Load quickly, gentlemen.
- Oh, shit.
508
00:19:19,790 --> 00:19:22,320
- Oh, yeah, it's... oh!
- Man #3: Firing by battalion.
509
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:23,290
- Oh, Jesus!
- You all right?
510
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,490
- Man #3: Fire!
- Ah... you got hit.
511
00:19:25,530 --> 00:19:27,460
- Okay.
- ( both groaning )
512
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,930
Oh, no.
513
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,330
Oh, no.
514
00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:32,900
- Man #2: Fire!
- Yeah, it's the ticker.
515
00:19:32,930 --> 00:19:35,130
- It's good, isn't it?
- Shh, you're dead. You're dead.
516
00:19:35,170 --> 00:19:37,500
- Did you see my death?
- Okay. Yeah, I saw it. Don't talk.
517
00:19:37,540 --> 00:19:39,910
- Man #2: Fire!
- ( gunfire )
518
00:19:39,940 --> 00:19:41,470
( coughs, groans )
519
00:19:41,510 --> 00:19:43,110
- That was fun.
- Yeah.
520
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:44,380
Everybody's so serious, though.
521
00:19:44,410 --> 00:19:46,650
- Yeah, but you're dead now.
- Okay.
522
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:48,810
( both groaning )
523
00:19:48,850 --> 00:19:51,150
Dying.
524
00:19:51,180 --> 00:19:53,020
( gunfire and explosionscontinue )
525
00:19:53,050 --> 00:19:54,650
How long do we have
to pretend to be dead?
526
00:19:54,690 --> 00:19:56,520
- You gotta be quiet.
- I have to pee.
527
00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,930
No, you don't go to the
bathroom during the battle.
528
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,560
( groaning )
529
00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:02,560
There's a Portaloo right there.
530
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,700
I'm gonna go do a little
pee and a little poo.
531
00:20:04,730 --> 00:20:06,970
- No, don't do it.
- I'll be right back.
532
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,500
- No, Tom.
- ( cell phone ringing )
533
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,540
- Oh, shoot.
- What is that?
534
00:20:10,570 --> 00:20:13,110
- Oh, come on!
- It's all right.
535
00:20:13,140 --> 00:20:15,340
Hello?
536
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:17,140
Hey, Bea!
Everything all right?
537
00:20:17,180 --> 00:20:19,240
No, I'm just going mental here.
538
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,010
She's contemplating suicide.
539
00:20:21,050 --> 00:20:22,780
No, it's not that bad,
but, I mean,
540
00:20:22,820 --> 00:20:25,780
- London's just a stinkhole.
- Yeah.
541
00:20:25,820 --> 00:20:28,920
I've decided to come out with
Pete and visit you in LA.
542
00:20:28,990 --> 00:20:30,390
Oh, okay.
543
00:20:30,420 --> 00:20:31,820
Yeah, no, that's fine.
544
00:20:31,860 --> 00:20:34,060
I'll just... let me make
sure with Al and Kitty
545
00:20:34,090 --> 00:20:35,660
that you can stay with them,
but that should be fine.
546
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:37,930
- Shh, shh, shh.
- ( gunfire and explosions continue )
547
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:41,570
No, it's not.
It's, um... it's war here.
548
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,000
Sorry, I can't hear you.
549
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:46,110
There's, like, bombs or something,
sounds like, on the line.
550
00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:48,070
- I'm being shot at.
- Hang up.
551
00:20:48,110 --> 00:20:49,810
- Bea.
- Get off.
552
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,910
No, no, it's just
I'm supposed to be dead,
553
00:20:52,950 --> 00:20:54,310
so I have to be quiet.
554
00:20:54,350 --> 00:20:57,250
- Is he on drugs?
- Okay, I'll see you soon.
555
00:20:57,290 --> 00:21:00,820
All right.
Cheerio.
556
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:03,060
- That was my sister Bea.
- I got it. Just be quiet.
557
00:21:03,090 --> 00:21:05,060
- She's coming over. You'll meet her.
- Okay, yeah, yeah.
558
00:21:05,090 --> 00:21:07,330
- I'm gonna go and do a pee.
- No, no. Don't go. You're dead.
559
00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:09,030
- Here's what's gonna happen.
- You can't just...
560
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:11,600
I'm just gonna go over and
do a wee and then come back.
561
00:21:11,630 --> 00:21:13,300
Seriously, don't even
think about it.
562
00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:15,440
- Nature. It's nature.
- Come here.
563
00:21:15,470 --> 00:21:17,540
I'll never get invited back.
Come here.
564
00:21:17,570 --> 00:21:19,070
( war cries )
565
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:33,550
Oh, flip.
566
00:21:35,790 --> 00:21:37,290
- Tom: This is just silly.
- All right, all right.
567
00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,760
- Twiddly dums in here.
- Have a seat, prisoner.
568
00:21:39,790 --> 00:21:41,700
All right.
This is ludi...
569
00:21:41,730 --> 00:21:43,260
I mean, you didn't
even tie these.
570
00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:44,530
You put that back on!
571
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,230
- All right.
- Shut your mouth.
572
00:21:46,270 --> 00:21:48,740
I caught 'em rollin' around
in the field, squirrely-like.
573
00:21:48,770 --> 00:21:50,330
We were not doing anything
in the field.
574
00:21:50,340 --> 00:21:51,640
I just want to use
the bathroom.
575
00:21:51,670 --> 00:21:53,010
He had to go to the bathroom.
576
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:55,080
- Yankee trash.
- That's just rude.
577
00:21:55,110 --> 00:21:56,710
We're all just trying
to have a nice day.
578
00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:58,710
- Don't you eyeball me.
- This is a civil war.
579
00:21:58,750 --> 00:21:59,810
Can you try and be civil?
580
00:21:59,850 --> 00:22:02,380
- ( gunshots )
- Ow, ow, ow.
581
00:22:02,420 --> 00:22:03,950
Oh!
582
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:05,490
Oh!
583
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:07,720
( sighs )
584
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,260
Murdered by
a common camp whore.
585
00:22:10,290 --> 00:22:11,560
( groans )
586
00:22:11,590 --> 00:22:14,060
I am going to school
for oceanography, okay?
587
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:15,560
And I wanted to be a nurse.
588
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,700
- So...
- That was incredible.
589
00:22:17,730 --> 00:22:20,400
I always knew that
you would kill for me.
590
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:29,610
- ( band playing )
- ( men shouting )
591
00:22:38,390 --> 00:22:41,490
Well enjoined, sir.
Well enjoined.
592
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,260
General Bukowsky,
a fine day, yes.
593
00:22:43,290 --> 00:22:46,490
Yes, well, we may have
lost the battle, but...
594
00:22:46,530 --> 00:22:47,600
Lost it, yeah.
595
00:22:47,630 --> 00:22:50,100
- Anyway.
- Mm-hmm.
596
00:22:50,130 --> 00:22:51,670
Can I ask you something?
597
00:22:51,700 --> 00:22:53,300
Is it hard to keep
doing the same battle
598
00:22:53,340 --> 00:22:54,970
when you know that
you're on the wrong side?
599
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,370
Sir?
600
00:22:57,410 --> 00:22:59,370
Well, you're pro-slavery,
you know what I mean?
601
00:22:59,410 --> 00:23:03,880
Sir, you came into our
homes, you ate our chickens,
602
00:23:03,910 --> 00:23:07,020
and you sucked
the teats of our cows.
603
00:23:07,050 --> 00:23:09,220
And you were not invited.
604
00:23:09,250 --> 00:23:12,320
Not invited.
605
00:23:14,390 --> 00:23:15,990
You have a good day, Phil.
606
00:23:16,060 --> 00:23:18,030
Why'd you go there?
607
00:23:18,060 --> 00:23:18,990
Somebody told me
he was a hairdresser.
608
00:23:19,030 --> 00:23:20,400
Yeah, he is.
He's a great hairdresser.
609
00:23:20,430 --> 00:23:22,600
But here, he's a general.
610
00:23:22,630 --> 00:23:25,170
Okay, I got something
for you, all right?
611
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,340
In here I have
two intercepted letters
612
00:23:27,370 --> 00:23:29,240
from your
great-great-grandfather
613
00:23:29,270 --> 00:23:31,210
and I have a photo...
614
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,140
a photo of your
great-great-grandmother.
615
00:23:34,180 --> 00:23:36,110
I think this will
explain everything.
616
00:23:36,150 --> 00:23:37,950
Oh, that's so great.
Thank you.
617
00:23:37,980 --> 00:23:39,650
- You're very welcome.
- Sir!
618
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:40,980
I bow to you.
619
00:23:41,020 --> 00:23:42,520
Why...
why do you do this?
620
00:23:42,550 --> 00:23:44,520
- It just feels right in the outfit.
- I guess so.
621
00:23:44,550 --> 00:23:45,890
A gold mine.
622
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,120
A gold mine, I tell you, Al.
623
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,560
Just the information we've got.
624
00:23:50,590 --> 00:23:54,160
In this one, it explains
the whole uniform thing.
625
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,930
Essentially, Charles lived
in Washington, DC,
626
00:23:56,970 --> 00:23:59,800
and he fell in love with
Rebecca, who was in Virginia.
627
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:01,440
And then the Civil War
broke out.
628
00:24:01,470 --> 00:24:03,440
- Okay.
- And they were separated.
629
00:24:03,470 --> 00:24:06,580
So to get through enemy lines,
630
00:24:06,610 --> 00:24:07,880
he got both uniforms.
631
00:24:07,910 --> 00:24:09,280
Didn't really carewho won the war.
632
00:24:09,310 --> 00:24:10,880
- Don't know why.
- So he went out
633
00:24:10,910 --> 00:24:12,820
and got two
totally different outfits
634
00:24:12,850 --> 00:24:14,450
and then went to be with her?
635
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,890
- Exactly.
- And did she know that he did all that changing?
636
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:19,290
- She didn't know that.
- That's so romantic.
637
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:21,420
- That is so sweet.
- How cute is that?
638
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:22,890
- That's really sweet.
- That's a sweet story.
639
00:24:22,930 --> 00:24:24,590
To change his outfit
like that for her.
640
00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:27,200
- Yeah.
- And then where'd they go? Did they get married?
641
00:24:27,230 --> 00:24:28,700
Well, okay,
this is interesting.
642
00:24:28,730 --> 00:24:32,640
This is a letter
from Charles to Rebecca.
643
00:24:32,670 --> 00:24:34,300
April 4th, 1862.
644
00:24:34,340 --> 00:24:37,870
"My dearest, upon
receiving your letter,
645
00:24:37,910 --> 00:24:40,080
the dark skies have
given way to sunshine."
646
00:24:40,110 --> 00:24:44,310
Oh, my God, it was so
rainy and everything.
647
00:24:44,350 --> 00:24:47,780
"I cannot, however, forget
the unforgivable manner
648
00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:51,320
in which my father and mother
have cast dispersions on you.
649
00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:53,820
To have said,
'She is of mixed blood
650
00:24:53,860 --> 00:24:56,630
and therefore outside
the purview of our class,'
651
00:24:56,660 --> 00:25:00,000
incites the most foul
emotions within me.
652
00:25:00,030 --> 00:25:02,700
We must therefore leavethis wretched place
653
00:25:02,730 --> 00:25:06,200
and marry in a new land
which welcomes us."
654
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:07,670
Kitty:
So, like, they eloped.
655
00:25:07,700 --> 00:25:09,900
- They eloped.
- That is so sweet.
656
00:25:09,940 --> 00:25:11,940
That's... yeah.
That's one explanation.
657
00:25:11,970 --> 00:25:13,910
Well, look at this.
658
00:25:13,940 --> 00:25:16,710
- Kitty: She's just beautiful.
- Tom: Yeah.
659
00:25:16,750 --> 00:25:19,510
Kitty: So they went to England and
they took the horse with her?
660
00:25:19,550 --> 00:25:20,840
She looks very attached to it.
661
00:25:20,970 --> 00:25:22,460
Tom: I've gotta tell
you, Kitty, I don't have
662
00:25:22,580 --> 00:25:24,770
as much informationas I'd like about the horse.
663
00:25:24,890 --> 00:25:26,210
This is interesting.
664
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:29,310
The shadow falling
from the horse
665
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:30,890
is headed that way,
666
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,990
and then there are shadows
from those bushes
667
00:25:33,030 --> 00:25:36,630
going in what seems to be
the opposite direction.
668
00:25:36,660 --> 00:25:39,500
You know, when I was
on the battlefield today,
669
00:25:39,530 --> 00:25:41,380
I saw a lot of things.
670
00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:44,740
I saw life happen.
I saw death happen.
671
00:25:44,770 --> 00:25:47,240
I saw people pissing
themselves willy-nilly.
672
00:25:47,270 --> 00:25:50,280
And it's sad to think
673
00:25:50,310 --> 00:25:55,180
we thought that Charles
had dodged that.
674
00:25:55,220 --> 00:25:57,280
We thought that
our great-grandfather
675
00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:00,520
was some kind of a coward,
a turncoat,
676
00:26:00,550 --> 00:26:03,160
but we were wrong.
677
00:26:03,190 --> 00:26:06,430
He was a big old romantic.
678
00:26:06,460 --> 00:26:09,060
And brave as a boot.
679
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,900
And I think that
he'd be proud to know
680
00:26:12,930 --> 00:26:17,170
that that particular fruit
didn't fall far from the tree.
681
00:26:19,610 --> 00:26:21,210
Because when a Chadwick
sees fear...
682
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:25,440
- ( purring )
- ...he doesn't run.
683
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:29,150
He looks it in the eye
684
00:26:29,180 --> 00:26:31,280
and he...
( sneezes )
685
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,080
Fuck off.
686
00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:42,410
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
687
00:26:42,530 --> 00:26:46,870
? But I never reallyhad a clue ?
688
00:26:46,900 --> 00:26:50,540
? How to love a girl like you ?
689
00:26:50,570 --> 00:26:53,410
? Two true believers ?
690
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:56,310
? We devised ?
691
00:26:56,340 --> 00:26:59,880
? A temporary paradise ?
692
00:26:59,910 --> 00:27:04,620
? Now our futureis in the past ?
693
00:27:04,650 --> 00:27:06,990
? I should have known ?
694
00:27:07,020 --> 00:27:10,720
? It wouldn't last ?
695
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:14,800
? I should have beena better man ?
696
00:27:14,830 --> 00:27:19,670
? You could have beena better friend ?
697
00:27:19,700 --> 00:27:23,640
? I'm alone, but that's okay ?
698
00:27:23,670 --> 00:27:25,510
? I guess the dice ?
699
00:27:25,540 --> 00:27:30,110
? Just rolled that way. ?
700
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:34,710
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