All language subtitles for DangerousCurves

[car doors slamming]

[car engine starts]

** [synth music]

* Sunshine

* Come on in
through my window *

* It's taken me all night

* To see your face

* A sure sign

* It's gonna be all right

* All the danger signs
Have taken flight *

* To get me on my way

* I need more
Good loving *

* I need the sunshine
In my life *

* Let me find the way

* To your good loving

* Soon as you are mine,
we'll be dangerous tonight *

* It's gonna be
all right now *

* It's gonna be
all right now *

* It's gonna be
all right now *

* We'll be dangerous
tonight *

* Phone calls,
pictures on my wall *

* There ain't nothing gonna
warm me like your smile *

* Well, sunshine
lighting up my night *

* Sitting dangerous
until our waking hour *

* Let me find the way

* To your good loving

* Soon as you are mine,
we'll be dangerous tonight *

* It's gonna be
all right now *

* It's gonna be
all right now *

* It's gonna be
all right now *

* Oh, we'll be
dangerous tonight *

Hi, I'm Tympani Charles,

on the scene at Mission Beach
in San Diego,

where the Miss Mission Beach

Beauty Pagent trials
are underway.

And of course, where
would a beauty pageant be

without the swimsuit?

That's why today,
on Eye on the Beach,

we're going to explore

the explosive origins
of the bikini.

The French fashion designer

was reading about
the notorious A-bomb tests

on the Bikini Islands
in the South Pacific,

and he decided to call his
new two-piece bathing suit

the bikini.

It started out
looking like this

and looked really groovy--

[burps]
Oh, man.

I love public television.

...the fashion world,
and like shrapnel

in the side of a soldier,

it's here to stay.

Who would have thought
the bathing suit fad

would go from that to this?

Hey, Wally, what's up?

Ralphie, what's hanging?
What's hanging?

Nothing much.
Is the game back on or what?

Keep your panties on,
will you?

I was watching a little
educational television.

[laughing]
I see.

The Remington
Micro Screen...

No, come on. The game.
All right.

[sports announcer chatter]

All right, now.

Moving down--
What a pass.

No, no.

I bet you 10 bucks
he misses that shot.

You're on.

In your face.
In your face.

I wasn't talking
about that shot.

I'm talking about
this shot right here.

In your face again, sir.

Eh, eh, pay up.

Put it on my tab,
will you? Please?

All right. I'm going to
have to charge you

a little collateral there,
though, sir.

Wally.

Yes.

I need some more lotion.

Okay.

[beer cans clatter]

[hums]

Tough job, but someone's
got to do it.

God, is this--
is that cellulite?

Oh, it is.
Ohh!

That is it!

I don't believe you.

This is far too dangerous!

I'm getting out of here

before I get
physical scars, Wally.

Where you going?

Hey, hey,
you still owe me 10 bucks

for the tanning session.

[phone rings loudly]
Aah!

God!

Oh, by the way, Chuckie,

I looped the phone
through the stereo

on account of I wanted
to make sure

you hear the phone
if I wasn't around
or something.

Gee, thanks, Walter.

[ring]
Don't mention it.

Hey, what do you say
you and me

roll on down to San Diego
this weekend?

What for?
[ring]

Well, we'll meet
new, interesting people,

enjoy the fruits
of clean living. Hmm?

You want to answer that,
please?

Is that a yes,
or is that a no?

It's an order.

[ring]

Hello.

Hi. Yeah.

I thought I told you
not to call

while I'm watching the game.

Why? Because it throws off
my concentration.

Oh, honey, you sound so sexy
when you get mad.

Yeah. I love you, too.
Mm-hmm.

Chuckie, it's your dad.

He's waiting. He's waiting.

Take the phone.

Hello.

Hello, Dad.

No, he's not a delinquent,
Dad. He's my best friend.

Well, you don't
have to feel sorry for me.

Mm. Ask your dad
if we can borrow his car,

take it down to San Diego
this weekend. Just ask him.

Yeah.

That's great.

Yeah, hold on a second.

I, uh-- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Mm-hmm.

Riverside. Mm-hmm.

Shh!

Dad, I won't
embarass you. I promise.

Of course I appreciate it.

Okay. Well, yeah.

Thank you. And, um--

Okay, say hello to Mom.
Okay, bye-bye.

Woo!

Way to go, Pop!

What, you finally
make the will?

Better. The old man
got me an interview

with Louis Faciano
himself.

Great!

Who?

Louis Faciano.

You know, the owner
of Faciano Industries.

He owns half the West Coast.

I've been interviewing there
for months

with these lowly managers
and personnel people.

Now, finally,
Pop pulled through

to get me in
with the man direct.

[whistles]
What do you think?

My whole career
depends upon it.

Well, if your whole career
depends on--

it's really
that important,

I'd go with
a lovely print ensemble.

Thank you.

[Faciano]
Come in.

Sit down.

Your father and I
were in 'Nam together.

He tell you that?

Yes, sir. He did.

Saved his life once.

Bastard saved my life twice,
and I owe him one.

That's the only reason
you're here, you know.

Yes, sir.

One night, we were trapped
in Tinh Quang Tri,

just below the DMZ.

It was pitch black. No moon.

I got separated
from my platoon.

Wound up in the middle
of a rice paddy,

surrounded by Charlie.

I couldn't see them,
but I knew they were there.

I could feel them.
They were close.

So close,
I could feel their breath
on the back of my neck.

I couldn't make a sound.

I just reached out,
and I grabbed a handful

of one of the stinking
little bastards.

One quick twist,
his neck broke
like peanut brittle.

You ever hear the sound
of a neck breaking, Chuck?

No, sir.

Well,
of course you haven't.

I killed three men
that night, Chuck.

I'm not proud of it.

A matter of survival.

There's only one thing
on this earth

that would drive me
to kill again.

To break a man's neck
with my bare hands.
[knuckles crack]

To step on his face

and watch his limp body
sink in the mud.

What's that, sir?

If anyone
ever hurt my Maria,

I shudder to think
what I would do to him.

Maria?

My daughter, Chuck.

She's more precious to me
than my own life.

That's why I'm giving you
the assignment.

You're George's son.
I can trust you.

What assignment, sir?

It's the little girl's
birthday come Sunday,

so I've arranged
a surprise party
for her at Tahoe.

And this
is the main attraction.

A set of keys?

A Porsche, boy.

A brand-new Porsche.

I'm entrusting you
with it for the weekend.

I got to leave town
on business.

I want you to drive the car
up to Lake Tahoe.

Meet me at the airport
9:30 Sunday night.

We drive it over to my baby,

and she'll love me forever.

Then maybe we can
talk about your future

with Fociano Industries.

Here are the details,
along with some petty cash.

What do you say?

Well, looks like
you found your man,
Mr. Fociano.

Oh, just one thing,
Chuckie.

Don't forget
the domino effect.

You screw up,
and Maria's not ecstatic.

If Maria's not ecstatic,

the unquenchable desire
to rip skin and flesh.

Understand?

Yes, sir.

I'll be a skinless mass
with a broken neck.

Yeah.

Come on, pal. One day.
That's all I'm asking.

Look, Walter,
I just don't think
it's a good idea.

I really don't.

Not a good idea
to pick up beauty queens

like tomorrow ain't coming?

It's not a good idea
to jeopardize my future.

What jeopardize? I have
the foolproof plan.

Nothing is Wally-proof.

Guys, guys, guys,
want to be careful
with that, please?

This is very important.

Hey, hey. Take a hike,
you leeches.

Now look, Chuck,
this is what we do.

We head down
to San Diego, right?

The night is young.
The air is full of pheromones.

And, Chuckie, this is peak
pheromone season in San Diego.

It gets to the point

where you got to wear
a rain hat,

the pheromones
are so thick.

I got the picture.

I know. So look,

we impress the girls

with these way-fresh
wheels,

and they will be
on our jammies

until the cows come home,
and, Chuckie, Chuckie,

there ain't no cows
in San Diego.

That's it? This is
the extent of your plan?

Well, it's sort of
a work in progress, Chuck.

I hadn't--

Look, Walter, Walter,

Walter, this is the reality
of the situation.

This car and I are driving
straight to Lake Tahoe.

And come Sunday night,

little Maria Fociano's
going to be very happy.

And Papa Fociano's
going to be very happy.

And I--
I'm going to be ecstatic

because I've secured a future
with Fociano Industries.

Are you listening to me?
Fociano Industries.

Did I mention how much
starting salaries
at Fociano was?

$60,000, Walter.

Starting at 60 grand!

Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie.

God put this Porsche
smack in your lap

for the painfully
obvious reason

of putting to an end
your fear of women.

I am not
afraid of women.

Then why don't you want
to go meet the paragons
of the species?

Look, I am as fond
of the female species
as the next guy.

Not if the next guy is me,
and you know what?

I am the next guy.
You got to live a little.

I live--

plenty.

You call this living?

You call this living?

I'm talking about
quality of life, Chuckie.

I'm talking--
I'm talking about

things that
you're going to write
to your grandchildren about.

I'm sorry, it's imperative
that I not listen

to a word you say.
I'm going straight
to Lake Tahoe.

** [calypso on car stereo]

[Jamaican accent]
Yo, man, Tito is sounding
def on the block, punk.

[normal voice]
You know what?

This Mr. Fasano guy
is okay in my book.

Hey,
be careful with that

because my whole life
is in there.

Chill out, Chas.

I'm not going
to soil anything.

Will you look at this?

The Padres are hosting
the Mets this weekend.

It's genius.

I know. I know.
I know. I know.

I promised,
no references to San Diego.

Though you-- you got to admit,

it has been a long, cold,
lonely winter

without baseball.
Walter.

And that the Mets game
would be a brilliant way

to start the new season.

What? I'm talking baseball,
not San Diego.

You ever been
to Sea World down there?

Huh? Have you?

It's pretty intense.
I'm serious about this.

It is. They got
sea otters and shit,

and they have got
Shamu the killer penguin.

Now, I don't know--

have you ever
seen a penguin kill?

It's a killer whale.

Huh?

Shamu is a killer whale.

Oh, yeah. Well,
they do have a killer whale.

Just be quiet.
Just be quiet.

Sorry?

Just shut up.

Wow, Chas, you're in
a bad mood, huh? I can tell.

I don't want
to hear any more about
killer penguins, okay?

And I don't
want to hear any more
of this Tito Paco guy.

You-- You just tossed Tito.

That's right.

Wow, Chas, that's radical.

Look, I'm dropping you off
in San Diego.

What?

I can't handle
this kind of guilt, Walter.

I'm too Catholic.

I'm dropping you off
at the city limits,

and then I'm continuing
by myself to Lake Tahoe.

Until then,
I just want to have
a little silence, okay?

Is that okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[police siren wails]

Oh, my God!

I can't believe
I let you drive.

I think you had a serious
lack of judgment there,
Chuck.

License and registration,
please.

Walter, Walter,
what did I just say to you?

I don't know.
Something about

how driving 55
isn't just a good idea.

It's the law.

I had you clocked
at 95.

What?

Yeah, it's
an unbelievable car.

I was only
in second gear
at the time.

Registration?

Oh, my God, my life--

Oh, my God,
my life is over.

Here, sir.

So, Chuckie,
how long are you going
to stay pissed?

You haven't spoken to me
in 20 minutes.

Look, just forget it.
I'm just tired and hungry.

Are you sure?

Look, Walter,
I am not angry with you.

Well, that's a relief.

So after this
little snack stop here,

we're going to head
to the beach, right?

No.

Hey, man,
I think she likes you.

She was looking at you.

Yeah, she was looking at me,
but she was looking at me

to get through to you.
Come on.

Uh, Walter, do me a favor.

Lock my skis in the car
so they don't get ripped off.

Sure, no problem.

[rip]

Oh, shit.

Blake, how can you eat

all this junk food
all these years

and stay so thin?

You know what this stuff
is filled with?

Preservatives.

Helps keep your body
in its youthful state.

I can't believe
you're making me
join this pageant.

Listen,
it's going to be great.

Don't worry about it.
Just loosen up, eh?

Chuck, man,
I got to talk to you.

About what?

It's about the Porsche, man.

Hey, ladies.

[Blake]
That guy's a putz.

Thank you.

You're welcome. Bye-bye.

Hi.
Let's hit the beach,
Chuckles.

Walter, I'm heading
back up north.

Wise up, homeboy.

This car out here
is an instant skirt raiser.

It's not your car, Walter.

It's not my car.
It's Mr. Fociano's car.

Oh, I'm not so sure Mr. Face
is going to be pleased

about that scratch your skis
put in the dashboard.

What?

Are you out of your mind?

Are you out of your small,
reverberating mind?

Putting a gash in Mr. Foci--

Where'd you--
Where'd you put it?

I didn't touch it.

What do you mean,
you didn't touch it?

I didn't move it.

What do you mean,
you didn't move it?

Whoa, hard to get happy
after this.

Hey, look, they didn't
swipe the skis.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

No. Oh, no.

Oh, my God.

Look, we got a parking ticket.

Aah!

Are you sure? Okay.

Yeah, thanks.

Well?

No, it wasn't towed.

Oh, man.

I still don't see
what the big deal is.
My life is over.

Why don't you call
this Mr. Face guy?

I'm sure he's insured.

That's not the point,
buster boy.

The point is I screwed up.

My father's going to kill me,

Mr. Fociano
is going to kill me,

and his little daughter's
going to kill me.

She hasn't even met me.

Relax. Nobody's
going to kill you.

I'm sure this Mr. Face
is a very reasonable guy.

He killed three guys
named Charlie

with his bare hands.

[engine revs]

Chuck, look.

Taxi! Taxi!

Okay. Follow that red car.

What?

Follow the red car.

You guys might want
to take in the rays
and the view

over at
the Miss Mission Beach

Beauty Pageant
this afternoon.

Hey, babe, I want you to be
the mother of my children!

[Blake]
All right, listen up, boys.

One-eyed jacks
and suicide kings are wild.

Game is draw.

Five cards.
Lady with the queen bids.

What?

That's you.
You bet first.

What am I supposed to do?

You got the queen.
That's one of a kind.

Bet the farm.

How do you guys feel
about pinochle?

Can't gamble
in pinochle.

Well, couldn't we
just play for fun?

No.

There's nothing fun
about playing cards.

Ding Dong.

Fine. I'll play poker.

You might want to start

by betting a little more
than just one chip.

Here.
Just do a little more.

[chips clank]

You know what else?

I think your hair
is going to need some work.

What's wrong with my hair?

It's not exactly
what you'd call perky.

It's humdrum hair, Shell.

I have humdrum hair?

It kind of looks like
you've been wearing
a condom on your head.

And rubber heads don't win
beauty pageants.

[Shawn]
Hi, guys,

Guess who has
adjoining rooms.

Oh, wait, let me think.

There you are, roomie.

I've been looking
all over for you.

Mm. Lucky me.

What are you doing?

Playing go fish.

Go fish.
Fish.

You know, if Miss Reed
finds out you're gambling,

you could all
be disqualified.

And the person who told her

would get stuffed and mounted.

Well, it's just a little
friendly advice,

Miss Wisenheimer.

I'm no snitch.

[Woman]
Shawn?

God. It's my mother.

Coming, Mother.

Well, I better go.

Adios.

Really sweet of you
to drop by, Shawn. Bye.

[Shawn's mother]
For crying out loud, Shawn,

you look like you've
put on 3 pounds.

Mother, I have not
gained 3 pounds.

How do you ever expect
to win a beauty contest

with thunder thighs?

God. I do not
have thunder thighs.

I do not have thunder thighs.
I do not have thunder thighs.

[door slams]

[driver]
There ain't no way

I'm going to catch
that Porsche in this heat.

[Charles]
Just keep looking, Hector.

Keep your eyes peeled.

You know, Walter,
I'm never going to listen

to a word you say.

Would you get up, please?
Hey, that smarts.

Keep your eyes peeled.

Yes, Bwana.

I'm sorry, guys.

Son-of-a-bitching car
just disappeared.

Not that I had
a chance in hell
of catching it anyway

on account of
this bad luck streak
I've been on.

I guess I should have
told you about that.

You know, I ain't had
nothing good go my way

since...1974.

It's no problem, Hector.
Don't sweat it.

Yeah. Anyway, here, look.

Take your 40 bucks back.
I blew it.

Oh, no, no. Hec-- Hector.

You're a fine cab driver.

Great. Like that's all I ever
wanted to be in life,

a fine cab driver.

Could you just stop the cab
right here, Hector?

Just--
You found it?

Well, not exactly,

but I do think that
we'll get some leads here.

We're out of here, Hec.

Hey, I can't blame you guys.

I'd want out
of this hell cab, too,

if I didn't have to drive
the damn hunk of tin.

I got a one-way ticket
on the highway to hell,

and there ain't no sense
in dragging two guys like you

with bright futures down
into the fiery pits with me.

That'll be 78.50.

Walter, look, this is
an unnecessary distraction.

We're not getting any closer
to finding that Porsche.

[man]
Yo, dude, ski Diego.

We're witnessing
the descent of man, Charles.

Oh, great,
now my shoes are wet.

Don't worry about it.

Reminds me of one of
your parties, actually.

Look, Walter, come on.
Come on.

Come on? What do you mean,
come on? Come on where?

We'll find some police
and we're going to speak
to the police.

Whoa, I got to get you
out of that sun there,
Chuckles.

It's beating down
that thinning hair
of yours.

Hey, my hair
is not thinning, okay?

What do you think
the cops are going to do?

What do you think
the cops are going to do?

They're going to help us
find the Porsche!

Get real, Charles.

All they're going to do
is call Mr. Face.

And God knows I've heard
some of those conversations.

The last thing you want to do
is have him come down here.

Well, what?
You got a better plan?

Trust me, homeboy.
I'm on it like a hornet.

Oh, great.

[cheering, applause]

[Announcer]
Ladies and gentlemen,
here they are,

the seven finalists
in the 1988

Miss Mission Beach
Beauty Pageant.

Aren't they wonderful,
ladies and gentlemen?

In this first segment
of our competition,

Our judges-- judges,
ladies and--

You call these--
Who am I kidding?

Looks like Stonehenge,
ladies and gentlemen.

Anyway, folks, in this segment
of our competition,

these wonderful people here

will be judging
these wonderful people here

on their carriage
and their poise

and their-- [babbling]

You know what
I'm talking about,
ladies and gentlemen.

You know what I'm
talking about?

These guys
are Neanderthals.

Yep. Welcome to
the wonderful world
of pageantry.

Here we go.
From Needles, California,

Michelle West.

And, ladies and gentlemen,
from Austin, Texas--

What is she, a cowboy?
She going to ride a horse?

She's Blake Courtland,
ladies and gentlemen.

Now, ladies and gentlemen,

our next contestant,
from Encino, California--

Encino?
The mall must be closed.

Folks, I'm on fire.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Shawn Brooks.

Well,
here goes nothing.

[scoff]
You're telling me.

Okay, folks.

You know,
I don't know the way,

but she might.
She's from San Jose.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Leslie Cruz.

Can you believe this?

My Shawn is much prettier
than those other girls.

Oh, we'll have to do
something about this.

[Announcer]
Now, ladies and gentlemen,

from San Francisco,

Tracy Armani.

From south of the border--

You know, folks,
before I continue,

let me just tell you,

people are people to me.

I don't care what your race,
creed, or color--

I don't care what your
ethnicity or religion--

I don't care
if you're Mexican,

if you're Cuban,

if you're from
Dominican Republic,

Peru, Brazil, Chile,

you're all Puerto Rican to me.

That's the beauty of it,
ladies and gentlemen.

So's our next contestant.

Angel Salazar
Conseulo Alonza.

Hey, there she is.

Chuck, trust me.
Lighten up.

I wouldn't let you down.
I have a plan.

Just have to think of it.

Your plan? Great. Plan.

I should have listened
to my father.

Ladies and gentlemen,

our winner will not only
receive $10,000 in cash,

but also she will look hot
when she drives away,

ladies and gentlemen,

in her brand-new
1988 Porsche.

All right, that's it, folks.

You've been wonderful,

and come back tomorrow
because we've got

the wonderful and exciting
talent competition.

I'm sure we got tons of talent
in this group, folks.

All right, how about it,
ladies and gentlemen?

Big round of applause
for these wonderful,
fantastic women.

It's a migration.

Where are all these people
coming from, huh?

I don't know.

Walter, Walter, that's it.

That's our car, right there.

Chuck, I know it looks like
our car, but it's--

Walter, a mother has instincts.

You're bugging out
on me again, pal.

Come on.
Nobody's that stupid.

It would take a tremendous set
of brass balls

to jock a set of wheels

and then put it on display
for the whole world to see.

Sheesh, 65 grand.

I didn't realize you were
in this much trouble, Chuck.

Hold the phone.
Stop the presses, Chuck.

I think you may be right.

What?

I think that this is our car.

This, this car--
this is Mr. Face's car.

I know that, Walter.

I feel it in my bones,
and my bones don't lie.

Well,
neither does that gash

that your skis
put in the dashboard.

I can't believe you put a gash
in Mr. Fociano's Porsche.

Are you trying
to ruin my life?

Wait a minute.
You have ruined my life.

[guard]
Hey!

Get the hell away
from that car.

Come on, buddy.
Beat it.

What are you morons doing?

Look, guys,
this is our car.

Yeah? Yeah, we knew that.

Thanks for letting us
use it for the contest.

[fake laughs]

No, no, no, you don't
seem to understand.

You see, my father got me
in to see Mr. Fociano--

Move it now.

Move it
before I have to shoot you.

It's my car. I swear to God,
it's my car.

Beat it.

That's it. Right up there.

You sure?

The bellboy said
the hotel director

was running the pagent.

It should be right up here.

All right, let me
do the talking.

That's a real novel idea.

We're dead.

Chuckles, don't let
Mr. Negativity get you down.

You got to be positive.

Miss Reed.

Whoa.

Who are you?

Well, my name
is Mookie Wilson.

I'm a journalist down here
doing a story

on the beautiful
beauty pageant

that you're having
at your wonderful hotel here.

It's kind of
a human interest thing

for our Sunday supplement.

Now, let me first start
by saying

that for a lady
of age and authority,

you are one
spicy-looking potato.

And you need to get your mind
out of the gutter

and your tongue
back into your mouth

and your eyes off my body

and just tell me
what you want.

Right. Well,
like I was saying,

I am a journalist,

and this is
my trusty photographer
Benny Hana.

A photographer should not be
caught dead without his skis.

Oh, I left my camera
in the car.

In fact,
that's what I wanted
to talk to you about.

That beautiful
grand prize Porsche

that you have
parked out in back?

Well, it's a mighty nice
set of wheels.

Where'd you get it?

I'll ask the questions,
Benny.

Sorry, Mookie.

So, where'd you get it?

Just exactly what newspaper
do you gentlemen represent?

The Times.
The Examiner.

I don't know
what your gig is,

and I don't care.

Well, look, I-- I want
to apologize for my friend.

We're not reporters.

No.

No, we're not.

Look, I just want
to know about that car.

You see, it was stolen
from me earlier
this morning.

Are you telling me
that the Porsche is yours?

Well, no, not exactly mine.

You see,
Mr. Fociano charged me

with the task of driving it
to his daughter,

and the reason
we're coming to you

and not the police
is because

if Mr. Fociano found out

that we're in San Diego
and not Lake Tahoe,

and on top of that

the car he's giving
to his daughter,

who he loves
more than life itself,

has been stolen,
he may very well kill me,

or at the very least,
never give me a job,

and I'll spend
the rest of my life

wiping the drool
off the chins

of my fellow losers
at the soup kitchen.

I am terribly sorry.
I wasn't listening.

Could you just repeat that?

I'd--

We're having
a real bad day.

A bad day.

Gentlemen,
today, my ex-husband,

who is a lunatic,
is being paroled.

My teenage son left my house
wearing a black mini dress.

My secretary's incompetent.

Elvis is dead.

Thank you very much, ma'am.
We appreciate all your--

It's the ozone
that eats the air.

You know, that woman has
a major attitude problem.

So what's our big plan now,
Mookie?

How much money you got?

This ought to be enough
right here.

Enough for what?

For supplies, that's what.

Supplies?
Supplies for what?

Trust me.

[boots clop]

What are you doing?
You know how much
those skis cost?

Shh! Do you want to get
the car back or not?

Of course I do, but this is--

Well, Miss Prissy
knows something.

We're going to find out
what it is.

I feel very ridiculous
about this entire thing.

Go, get down.

Are these hats
absolutely necessary?

I'm sweating like a pig.

Quit complaining, will you?
I need my concentration.

Walter.

What the hell kind of
security system is this?

Careful. You could
trip a silent alarm.

This place could be
covered with laser beams.

You can't be serious.

Never underestimate
the paranoia

of the thieving
scum of the earth, Charles.

What are you doing?

I'm checking for
infrared light sensors.

Oh, God.

Shh!

Okay, it's all clear.

Thanks.

It's locked.

It is?

Well, well.

What?

It's an invoice
for the Porsche.

Krevske Motors,
Incorporated.

Yeah.
[knocks head]

What's that knocking?

I hear something.

[gun is cocked]

You go.
I'll cover you.

I-- I'll cover you.

You always get to cover.
You go.

Yeah.

You go ahead.
I'll cover you.

I thought
I was covering you.

Right, right.
You're covering me.

You're covering me.

I-- I think it's clear.

Yeah.

Mm, coconut.
That's my favorite.

Oh, come on, Boggs.

They're gone?

Let's get the hell
out of here.

[equipment clatters]

Shh!

[guard]
There they are. Stop!

Quick, after them.

Okay, I'll get them.

Go, go that way!

Stop it,
you scumbags!

Halt!

Come on, would you hurry?

Hurry up.

Don't shoot, Boggs.
I want to take them alive.

Split up!

I'll kill those--

I'll go this way.

[Walter]
Chuckie!

I got you. Aah!

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Wait.

Whoa!

What's that stuff
you're drinking anyway?

Tequila. You want some?

Oh, no. God, no.

Come on,
it's good for you.

Makes your tits grow.

Course, it also
makes them all hairy.

I prefer my tits
small and smooth,
thank you very much.

Fine. Be a Barbie doll
all your life.

Aah!

How you doing?

I may kill you.

You're going to
have to wait in line.

Try every door.

You know what this place needs?

Yeah. Men.

Hey!

What the hell
are you guys--

[Charles and Walter
breathe heavily]

Oh, my--

Hey.

Hey, you guys are the guys

from the convenience store
this morning.

You bought Ding Dongs
and Twinkies and stuff,
right?

Blake, don't leave me here.

No, we're not dangerous
or anything.

We're good guys.

We just-- Don't you
remember us?

Hey, wait a minute.

Y'all the guys
with the skis, huh?

Hey, don't let them
fool you.

Jack the Ripper
probably carried skis.

Shh!

[whispering]
We're trying to hide.

But who are you guys?

They're criminals.

Name's Wally Wilder,
but those in the know
call me Mookie.

As in Mookie Wilson?

You know Mookie?

Sure do.

Will you go
to bed with me?

You know,
where I come from,

when a man
wants to court a woman,

he at least
brings her flowers,

writes her
charming love notes,

and takes her to dinner
and feeds her first.

[Wally]
Well, can't we pretend

we did that stuff already?

Can I ask
just a silly question?

Sure.

What the hell
are you doing in our room?

Well, it's a long story.

But if you got
a couple hours.

You get your butt
off my bed.

Blake, get me down
right now.

Don't touch me.

Get me down. Get me down.

[Walter]
Stop.

Who's your friend?

What friend?

The one staring at me
with that possessed look
in his eyes.

Oh, that would be
my trusty sidekick Kato.

He gets stuck sometimes.

Hi.

Blake, call security.

No, no, please.

Let me explain
what's happening here,

why we're dressed like this.

See, this morning,
at that lovely groceria,

some thug appropriated
Mr. Fociano's Porsche.

Our car was stolen.
Right.

So we follow it
down to the beach,

and the next thing we know,

we see that it's
the grand prize

of your beauty contest.

Right.

Come on, Kato.
What, you think
we were born Tuesday?

Now that I think about it,

how do I know that you two
weren't involved in it?

Oh, that does it.

Ix-nay on the accusations,
Chuck.

You're not exactly
winning your way

into their pants.
Know what I mean?

Well, it's extraordinarily
coincidental, don't you think?

Hello. Can I have
security please?

No, stop. Don't do that.

Really, he was only kidding.

He doesn't really think
that you're thieving scum.

He's just too shy to tell you

how beautiful
he really thinks you are.

Right, Chuck?

Yeah. You've got
a beautiful scowl.

Hello, security?

This is room 512.

We have a problem up here.

Yeah. Thank you very much.

Okay.

Okay, boys,
thank you very much

and goodbye.

Well, actually,
just forget the thank you.

I don't think
you're involved in this.

Goodbye.

Way to go, Chuck.

Bye.

I'm really sorry,
please, I--

[Walter]
Call us later?

Leslie?
Mm-hmm.

If you were to choose
an adjective

to describe my thighs,

you wouldn't
use the word...

thunder, would you?

I can't say
I've given your thighs
that much thought, Shawn.

Well, if someone had
a gun to your head

and made you choose a word,

it wouldn't be thunder,
would it?

What were my options?

Shawn?

Oh, God.
It's my mother.

[whispering]
You have no idea
where I am.

Absolutely none.

None.

Shawn? Oh, hello, Leslie.
Where is she?

Oh.

Shawn, dear.

Come on now, darling.

I've decided we're going to
have to take some measures

if we're going to win this.

Mother, until I see you
out there in a bikini,

stop saying we.

[metal detector trills]

What the hell?

Uh, look, man,

it's none of my beewswax
or nothing,

but I strongly recommend

that you get out of there

before that thing
gets any closer.

[plow honks]

Wow, man, this is
a gnarly set of boards.

Bam Bam?

Yeah?

How long you lived here?

[scoffs]

Jeez, I--

I couldn't tell you
exactly, man.

Time has become
an abstract notion for me.

What kind of a name
is Bam Bam?

It's a nickname.

What do you think,
my parents named me Bam Bam?

Where'd you get
the name Bam Bam, Bam Bam?

Well, I--

A-- A guy--

Well, I--

I have no idea.

Wheat germ?

Oh, no thanks.

I've got hops and barley.

Charles?

Yeah, please. Thank you.

So this car is right here
under your nose,

and you can't do
anything about it, huh?

No. I mean yes.

I've got a plan.

You have a plan?

Of course I have a plan.

We're going to steal it back.

Oh, just like that.
We're going to steal it back.

No, not just like that,
homie boy.

Homeboy.

Yeah, well, whatever.

We sneak in the hotel,

and we're going
to hotwire the car.

Really? So you know
how to hotwire a car.

Well, no,
but how hard could it be?

How old are you, Chuck?

I'm 21.

Man, when I was your age,

I was 22.

Bam Bam, do you know
how to jock a set of wheels?

You kidding me?
I was born in the back seat

of a hotwired El Dorado.

So you'll help us?

No way, amigo.

Mm-mm. No.

Uh-uh. No.

Lately, I've been
on the up and up.

Besides, I--

I can't remember how.

Could you
take a look at this?

What's this?

It's a bogus pink slip.

Yeah.

Here.

You know that guy?

He's the biggest thief
in San Diego.

Half the cars he sells
are hot.

The klepto don't stop
at cars, neither.

He's got TVs, microwaves,

even surfboards.

So all we have to do
is have a talk

with this Krevske character,
right?

Easier said than done,
bongo.

Man lives on a boat.

Almost never touches
dry land.

All his flunkies
do his dirty work.

They'd just as soon

slice your eyeballs
as talk to you.

This is not good news.

All right, I'll help you.

You will?

Yeah, I think, uh...

I-- I--

Think I remember how.

Great.

Okay, here's the deal.

You got something
like this here, all right?

Now, there's
a little thing here.

What is that?

It's the Porsche.

There's no way
that's the Porsche.

Well--

Looks like a aardvark.

You're right, Bam Bam.
It does.

An aardvark or an anteater.

Which one has
the bigger snoot?

I don't know.

I always thought
they were the same thing.

Well, they both eat
the same thing, but, um--

Something I've always
wondered about is

when they're sticking
their snoot down an anthill,

how come
they don't always get

a lot of ants crawling
up their noses?

Oh, but they do, man.

It must be a common
aardvark problem.

Are you kids finished?

Walter, would you excuse us
for just a minute?

Don't worry about me.
I guess I'm nobody.

I'm driftwood. Eh.

Hey, man.

Hey.

Just a word of advice,
Chuckie.

Oh, God.

I am where I am today

by choice,
not by chance, man.

I took a look
at the men at the top,

you know, and I decided
to stay right here,

near the bottom.

I don't have
high blood pressure.

I don't get
tension headaches.

Look, man, I see-- I seen
what money can do to people.

It jumbles their sense
of priorities.

It warps their minds.

Bam Bam, what are you
getting at?

Look, stop
giving yourself an ulcer

just to please the Man.

Live, Chuck!

Come on, say "I am alive."

Say it. "I am alive."

I am alive.

Say it again. "I am alive."

I am alive.

Hey Walter, I think
this sucker's alive.

I think
he's going to make it.

Yeah,
I think he's alive.

Where the hell
are they hiding it?

They're not hiding it,
Chuckles.

Walter, not now,
please.

They put it on a pedastel.

Hey boys, this car
is on a pedastel.

Yeah?

Well, you didn't tell me
it was on a pedastel.

Is there
some sort of problem
it being on a pedastel?

Well, you could say that,
man.

You got a PP here.

What's-- What's PP?

Pedastel problem.

Bam Bam,
I thought you said

that you've done
this type of thing before.

I never heisted a car

off a pedastel before.

Very few cars on pedastels
where I come from.

Where do you come from?

I-- I-- Well, look,

I may not know
where I'm from,

but the important thing is

I know where I'm going.

And where
are you going?

Up on this pedastel,
into this car.

Give me that set.

Now what?

What do you mean,
now what?

That's the extent
of your plan, Bam?

Getting into the car?

Pretty much, man.

Oh, that's a good plan.

So basically our goal now

is to get these wheels
closer to the ground.

Yeah, right. And then
we can just start the car.

I can start it
for you now.

[together]
No.

Don't start the car.
Let me get out.

I'll guide you back.

What's the matter?

It's those pesky
autograph hounds.

I'm just not in the mood.

You know
what the average
temperature is in San Diego?

Scrunch. Scrunch.

Bam Bam, just scrunch.

What do you mean,
scrunch?

I didn't scrunch.

I don't smell nothing.

Get down.
Bam Bam!

I thought we were
dropping this subject.

72. And I'm not even
talking humidity.

There must be over
half a million
air conditioners

in that area alone.

And you know something?

They all going
to break down some day.

Look, I already told you,

I'm not taking
any air conditioning
repair courses with you.

We could be raking it in
with air conditioning repair.

We'd be living
on easy street.

And it's a lot less
perilous than this.

Hey! Cut it out, will you?

That hurt.
You think it tickles?

What is this I'm eating?

Liverwurst.

Shouldn't have asked.

You just think of it
as pâté.

Great.
My nose is in my balls,

and they're comparing
pâté and liverwurst.

Shh.

You see, the thing is

once we capture
air conditioning repair,

then we can branch out
into other areas,

like refrigeration--

What is it with you

and these correspondence
courses, huh?

Do you really think anything
will ever come of it, huh?

Got me this job.

You got this job through
a correspondence course.

That's right.

You learned to be
a security guard
through the mail.

That's right.

In four short weeks.

[horn honks]
Ooh.

Hey, it's those guys again.

Grab them!

There they are. Go, go, go.

[Walter]
Follow me.

They got to be
around here somewhere.

Wait. Wait a sec.
Wait.

You okay?

I got to take a rest.

You look like you fainted.

I feel sick.

Walter.

Sorry, I-- I--

Hi.

Chuck, we got to go!

Hey baby, how you doing?

Walter!

Quick. They're over here.

Move it.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Are you sure? Okay?

Whoa, hang on.
I got an idea.

Right here. Right here.

Okay, stand right here.
Be cool.

You okay?

You all right?

Ladies.
[whistles]

How are you?

[girls laugh]

Walter, what exactly
are we doing,

and why are we
carrying this equipment?

I got another plan.
Trust me.

Why do I know
I'm going to regret this?

Look at this.

We have been invited
to a party

upon
the good ship Krevske.

Oh, great.
I just love sailing.

Yeah, well, it starts
in an hour, Blake.

Oh, got to see if I have
a yachting dress somewhere.

What do you wear?

Some tight nautical thing.

[knocks]

I told you, those guys
are dangerous.

Weird, maybe, but dangerous?

I doubt it.

Can I talk to you?

Just for a little second.
I promise. Please?

Hey, what's your name?

Chuck.

I thought your name
was Kato.

No, no. Chuck.

Hey, your friend said
your name was Kato.

My friend is a product
of inbreeding.

Well, can I call you
Kato anyway?
I like it better.

Okay. Are you sure
you don't know anything
about my Porsche?

Do I look
like a thief to you?

No, no, of course not.

But--

Let me explain
what's happening here, okay?

Someone stole my Porsche.

Well, it wasn't my Porsche.

It was Mr. Fociano's Porsche.

Slice his rope.

Mr. Fociano?

Right, right.
Someone stole it,

and now,
it's the grand prize

in your beauty pageant.

Oh, yeah, right.

You don't believe me?

Well, even if I do,

what do you want
from me?

I want a little help.

Please, just a mo--
a moment of help.

[Blake]
You need it.

Please, will you help me?

You know, you seem
to be forgetting
one thing.

If we win this,
it's our car.

So why should we help you
steal our own Porsche?

Could you hold on
just for one second?

I'll be right back.

What happened?

She said why should she
help us steal the car

because
if she wins the contest,

she's going to get the car.

And what'd you say?

Nothing.

Hello!

I'm sorry. I was flustered.

I couldn't think.

She's half-naked.

Well, let me
go down there.

No, no, no, I can handle it.

All right, look, Chuck.

Try to explain to her
that the car

does not legally belong
to the pageant.

Therefore, you cannot
give away what is not yours.

Right, that's good.
I like that.

Okay, let her rip.

Okay. You can't
give us the Porsche

because it doesn't
belong to you.

I mean, the pageant.
It doesn't belong to you.

Oh, well,
that explains it.

Michelle,
we are going to be late.

I mean,
the good ship Krevske
sets sail soon.

The what?

Krevske!

The Krevske?

Aah!

Ow!

Was that a yes or a no?

Chuckles!

I'm going to kill you.

[Walter]
Hector, we got to get
down to Krevske's boat

before it launches.

Are you crazy?
You'll never get
near Krevske.

He's surrounded
by heavyweights.

[engine revs]

Look, you'll never
get on that fancy boat

without suits.
Leave it to me.

[crowd chatters]

Looking good. Good.
Winning? Very good.

Nice to see you.
Good to see you.

Yes, yes, yes.

Where is he seated?

Right over there.

Okay, fine. Very good.

All right. Yeah, very good.

Hit it. Hit it. Hit it.

Good to see you.

[clears throat]

Hello, my dear.

Hello, Greg.

Come on, Walter. Let's go.

How come you got
the better tie?

What are you talking about?
They're exactly the same.

Now come on.
The boat's leaving. Let's go.

I didn't bring
my Dramamine.

[boat whistles]

Very nice.

Thank you very much.
Let's go.

Chas, man,
check these things out.

Yeah, they look like
a lot of fun, Walter.

Come on.

Hello.

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

How are you?
Very nice. Good.

[boat whistles]

Blake, where are
the other girls?

I don't know, but I think
we're in the wrong place.

Yeah. Let's get out of here.

Wait, one quick hand first.

Blake.

I owe you one.

Say the word, my dear,

and they won't touch
dry land for a week.

One night will be plenty.

I can't believe this.

Sir, sir.

Yes, may I help you ladies?

Uh, yes. We just realized

we have to get
back to shore.

Right. We have
this talent competition

in about two hours,
and if we don't get back soon,

we're going to be
disqualified.

Oh, I'm so sorry, ladies,

but we ain't going
back to shore.

And we don't dock
till 8 tomorrow morning.

Well, then you're just
going to have to

move this
piece of crap around,
then, won't you?

I don't have to do nothing
unless you make me angry,

so just shut up and sit tight.

Oh, boy.

Right.

Wally? Wally?

[crowd cheers]

[crowd cheers]

[Man] He's unbelievable!

It's Mookie.

Ladies, what's happening?

Will you blow
on my dice?

Blow on your what?
The dice. Blow on the dice.

Listen, I got all my money
on the line here.

I'll buy you diamonds
and shit. Just blow. Blow.

Oh, yes. Okay. All right.
Let's let it all ride.

Buy the lady some diamonds.
Here we go. Here we go.

[cheering]

All right!

Hey, is that
who I think it is?

It's Mommie Dearest.

I have a feeling
I know what we're doing
on this boat.

Conniving little
snot-faced rattlesnake.

Wait a second.

Mandrake,
take care of that.
Right away, sir.

Hey, what the hell is
going on with these dice?
These things are loaded.

What the hell is this,

a goddamn full moon
or something?

Excuse me.

You bitch! You--

[gasps]

Pig!

These dice are loaded!
They're using-- [stutters]

He's got the cart.

Get those sons of bitches.
Get the sons of bitches.

Send me everything you got.

I'll meet you at the top.
I got an idea.

God, aren't there
any lifeboats on this barge?

Here. Right here.
Okay, all right.

Ah, after you.
You first.

No, after you.
No, you first.

What the hell?
Let's go together.
Okay.

Okay, well, I, uh--

I love danger.

You would.

[both screaming]

God, I hate this.

It's not so bad.
Come on.

[both screaming]

[both] 1, 2, 3.

[both screaming]

[engines revving]

[speaking native language]

[Chuck] Wally, the car that
goes with these keys I found

should be around here
somewhere.

[speaking native language]

Mr. Krevske was kind enough

to give us a loaner
until we got our Porsche back.

[all] Krevske, yeah!

[cheering]

It's beautiful!

The best!

[engine starts]

[tires squeal]

Okay, now,
it's imperative, Michelle,

you tell us what time
the Porsche comes off
the pedestal--

Chuck, I understood
and accepted the mission

somewhere around
the tenth time you told me.

Right. I'm sorry.
You're right.

You're right.
I'm sorry.

No. Hey, hey.

You saved the day today.
We owe you a lot.

Come here.

Yeah, thanks a lot,
Chuckie. Mwah.

What am I, leprosy?

Thank you, too, Mookie.

Bye.

I'm getting shanked
in a big way, chuckie.

This vacation-- it's not
going the way I planned.

It's a gross
and unjust world, Walter.

That's what I've been
trying to tell you.

Hector, our man!
Hectorino, my man!

Nice set of spokes
you got there.

What the hell
are you guys doing

driving around
in my godforsaken Beelzebus

when you got that thing? Huh?

Well, it's a recent
acquisition.

You stole this car
from Krevske?

Well, uh...
yeah, we did. Uh-huh.

[laughs]

Listen, could you
do us a big, chunky favor?

Hey, anything for you guys.
You made my day.

Stealing something from old man
Krevske is kind of poetic.

Yeah, well,
Mr. Old Man Krevske's

kind of hot
on our tails right now.

I was wondering,
could you take care
of this till the morning?

Sure.
Ah, great.

I owe you one.

Yeah, the keys
are in it.

If you can start it,
you can have it.

Oh, thanks, Hec,
that's real swell of you.

It's no problem.

Wow.

Hey, hey, you mind
if I drive it

around the old neighborhood
a couple times,

impress the local scumbags?

Go nuts, Hector.

Well...

Until the morning,
girls.

[engine starts]

[laughing]

Home, James.

[Chuck] Now, let me see
if I've got this straight.

Thanks to Michelle,
we now know

when the car
is coming off the pedestal

and onto the stage.

[Michelle]
Glad I could help.

[Walter] Hector's agreed
to meet us with Krevske's car.

[Chuck]
So if all goes right...

[Blake] And if we keep
our fingers crossed...

[Chuck] Then we might
just pull this off.

[Bam Bam]
I don't know, man.

I still can't figure out
where the aardvarks come in.

[Walter] I ran over
an aardvark one time.

No.
I swear to God.

You did?
I did.

Well, are you sure
it was an aardvark?

Did it have
a long, thin snoot?

You know, the snoot
they get in that anthill.

No, it was the same size,
but it was bigger.

Oh, that's
a giant aardvark.
Yeah.

Yeah, that's
a different animal.

A jumbo aardvark,
I think they call it.

No, no. I giant aardvark
is a different animal,

and that looks
like a elephant.

You know,
I just want to say

that I appreciate...
I don't know.

You know,
I just appreciate.

It's okay.

You don't
have to thank me,

if that's
what you were doing.

Yeah. That's what
I was trying to do.

It didn't come out
too good.
No.

I ain't never seen that.
Huh.

I don't know. I'm a little
aardvarked out here.

Me, too.

You know,
I have to admit

that the first time
I met you

I thought
you were an idiot.

Oh, yeah? Great.

Yeah.
I mean, you were

a completely inept,
bumbling fool.

I mean, everything
you did was wrong.

You were such an idiot.

Okay, okay.
I get the picture.

Hey, no, that was
just a first impression.

Sometimes I'm wrong
on first impressions.

Okay.

You're okay.

Thanks a lot.

I guess.
I appreciate that.

* And I

* Found a very special love

* In you

* It's a feeling
that's so totally new *

* Over and over

* It's burning inside

* I

* Found a very special love
in you *

* It almost
breaks me in two *

* Squeezing me tighter

* I'm

* Never gonna let go

* You're

* Not like the rest I know

Maybe.

What?

Maybe not?

Um, "maybe not" what?

Didn't you
just say something?

I didn't-- no, I didn't.

Oh. Sorry.

I thought
you just said something.

Oh, no. No.

* You can count on always

* To love you

* And I

* Found a very special love

* In you

* It's a feeling
that's so totally new *

Nervous?

No.

Well, yeah.

I am. I-- I get...
an internal thing.

Well, no, but I mean

right now, specifically.

Are you nervous?

Yes.

I can tell.

* But I'm

* Never gonna let go

Look, there's something
I have to tell you.

What?

* I found

* A very special love
in you *

* It's a feeling
that's so totally new *

* Over and over

* It's burning inside

* I

It was our first kiss.

How about a second kiss?

Really?
Yeah, we could.

* Squeezing you tighter

* I'm

* Never gonna let go

* I found a very special
love in you *

Hi.

Hi.

She didn't come back
at all last night?

No.

So is she in love
with this guy?

I didn't say anything
about love.

Who's in love?

Ew. Did you just
sort of feel something?

You mean like a breeze?

You know, I think
I left the door open.

[slam]

Come on, you guys. Listen,
I'm sorry about last night.

Forget about them, dear.
You have to get ready.

What are you
talking about, Mother?

I am ready.

You're going out on stage
looking like that?

That's it. I've had it.

You know what, Mother?

you can just forget about
the Miss Mission Beach Pageant.

And to tell you the truth,

I don't think I had
a hell of a chance

in the Jheri Curl
Calendar Contest.

In short, I am going
out there today

and taking
whatever I deserve.

And after that, my beauty
pageant days are over.

Done.

Don't be ridiculous.
Shawn--

Mother,
those were my friends

that you dragged out
on that stupid boat last night.

Well, they could have been.

Mother, I just want to live
a normal life for once.

Come on. Let's go.

Hey, Shawn, wait up.

Call now and receive
a free gift.

Call now
and receive a free gift.

What the hell
are you doing?

I'm preparing to enter

the exciting world
of broadcasting.

I think you ought to enter

the exciting world
of psychotherapy.

That's your opinion.
That's my opinion.

Enough. We've got to get
the car up to the stage.

[both]
Mr. Krevske, sir.

Where the hell are they?

We don't know, sir.
After they stole your car,
we lost them.

After they stole my what?

Your car, sir.

We saw them pulling away
as we arrived.

I'm gonna have an aneurysm.

An aneurysm!

Did you find the girls?

No, sir. We couldn't find them.

You couldn't find them.
I'm gonna kill you.

No, I'll do that later.

We'll go
to the beauty pageant.

Ow. You know my future's
on the line.

Sorry, pal. Didn't know
it was loaded.

Michelle, go.

All right. Don't move.
[water gun sprays]

Don't even
think about it.

Off with the stuffy
uniforms now!

Come on, come on.

Great work,
Michelle, thanks.

Watch the neck.

Take it off. Faster!
Yes!

[horn blows]

Perfect timing, Hector.

Way to go, Hec.
Right on schedule.

Hey, folks.

Over the past few days,
this field of beauty--

Field? Field? If this
is a field, folks,

put me out to pasture.
Oh, my word, folks.

Over the past few days,

we've whittled this field
of beauties behind me

down to three finalists.

Now, today, folks,

we're gonna meet
those three finalists.

Then hold our breath
and cross our fingers

as the judges choose
one lucky girl

to be Miss Mission Beach 1988.

[cheering]

Blake Courtland,
ladies and gentlemen.
[screams]

[cheering]

And our next finalist,
ladies and gentlemen,

Michelle West.
Michelle West, everyone.

Where is she?

What is she?
Is she out getting a henna?

She out getting a tint?

What is this henna?
An Egyptian hair treatment?

You wanna look Egyptian?
Stand like this,
for crying out loud.

Build a pyr-- There she is,
ladies and gentlemen.

Michelle West.

Michelle West.

[cheering]

All right, folks.
Now our final finalist.

Shawn Brooks,
ladies and gentlemen.

[cheering]

Go.
Are you sure?

I'm really happy
for you. Go.

[cheering]

Our Miss Mission Beach
finalists,

ladies and gentlemen.
There they are.

How about a big round
of applause for them?

[cheering]

Well, it's about time.

You guys should've been here
half an hour ago.

Hey, nice wheels.
But where's the Porsche?

While our judges are
tabulating their votes,

they've got a little live
entertainment planned for you.

They went and hired
entertainment

because they
couldn't use me

because what,
I'm not good enough?

I'm nothing,
ladies and gentlemen?

54 years in show business,
folks.

What's this?

That's enough
incriminating evidence

to send Greg Krevske
up the river

for a good period of time.

Where'd you
get this?

I found it.

We've been trying to bust
Krevske for ten years,

and you're trying to tell me
you found this stuff?

Call me lucky.

Looks like
we're going sailing.

Wait a minute. You might
want to stick around

'cause I have a feeling
old man Krevske

might be rolling up
any minute.

What makes you say that?

[both] Mmm, gut feeling.

Hey, Quinn.
Yeah.

Feel a draft?

Yeah, and it's going
right up my shorts.

You know, I been thinking.

That broadcasting thing
doesn't sound so bad.

* Hey, pretty baby
* Can't sit down

* Don't you hear
the drums calling *
* Can't sit down

* You gotta shake it
like crazy *
* Can't sit down

* 'Cause the man
is saying something *
* Can't sit down

* Everybody is jumping
* Can't sit down

Come on, we gotta split.

Split where?

What, are you dusting?
What do you mean, where?

Tahoe. Does this sound
familiar to you?

I can't leave without seeing
Michelle first.

Hello, Chuckles.
Listen to me.

She's in the middle
of a beauty contest.
You wait till it's over,

and you'll never make it
to Tahoe on time.

If I'm late, I'm late.
What's the worst thing
that could happen?

Krevske saw them moving.

All right.
Get down there
and find them.

Get on down there.

* You hit me
with the backbeat *

* Can't sit down

* And you see
the guy grooving *

* Can't sit down

* Everybody is moving

* Can't sit down

* You gotta make it,
break it, shake it *

* Oh, you gotta dance
* Can't sit down

* You can't sit down

* You gotta move, move,
move, round and round *

* You can't sit down,
you can't sit down *

* You gotta rock, rock, rock
* Can't sit down

* They're coming to town

* The crazy sound
* You know
you can't sit down *

* you can't sit down

* Yippee yeah

* Pretty baby
* Can't sit down

* Don't you really
dance on by now *
* Can't sit down

* You gotta shake it
like crazy *
* Can't sit down

* Don't you ever
pay no mind now *
* Can't sit down

* We're gonna do it
one more time now *
* You can't sit down

* You gotta stop,
flip, hear my lips *
* Can't sit down

* You can't sit down

* You gotta move, move,
move around and round *
* Can't sit down

* You can't sit down

* You gotta fly, fly, fly
from off the ground *

* They're putting it down
the crazy sound *

* You can't sit down

* You can't sit down

* Ooh

* You can't sit down

You're crazy.
Get out of here.

Get out of here,
you guff. Come on. Go.

[chanting]

All right, folks.

Now, before I
announce the winner

of the 1998 Miss Mission Beach
Beauty Pageant,

Let's take a look
at what the lucky lady
will be driving away.

Ladies and gentlemen,
it's a brand-new Por--

It's a Ferrari, ladies,
it's a Ferrari.

Oh, my word.

How do you like that?

My God, that's my car!

The moment you've
all been waiting for,
ladies and gentlemen.

This wonderful thing here--
this will tell us who won.

That's my car!

Oh, the aneurysm.

Our winner,

Miss Shawn Brooks.
There she is.

[cheering]

There she is.
Miss Mission Beach.

All right, you worms!

You've made
a big error in judgment.

Get down. Get down.

I'm telling you--

Greg Krevske,
you're under arrest.

Big, big, big--
Big trick, Krevske.

What the hell--
You're under arrest.

You have the right
to remain silent.
What the hell for?

Are you out of your mind?
We have a warrant
for your arrest for auto theft.

For what?
For auto theft.
You're under arrest.

[screams]

Well, I gotta get going.

Hector,
I'll see you around.

Yeah. Take care of yourself.
You, too.

I don't suppose
anybody needs a ride.

I could use a ride,
I guess.
Really?

Yeah. Bye.

Surf's up.

And it's beautiful, man.

So where you going?

Oh, I don't know.

Doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter?

Well, wherever I go,

I'm followed
by doom and despair.

Really? Me, too.

They follow me
everywhere.

Yeah?
Yeah.

Doom and despair?
Yeah, doom and despair.

Sucks, doesn't it?

Ah, it's all right.

Well, I mean,

as soon as you think
you got rid of them,

bam-- some stupid blonde bimbo
wins the beauty contest.

Happens to me all the time.

You know she got
the Porsche, too?
Mmm.

Legit. I'm dyeing
my hair blonde.

I tried it. Doesn't work.

Have a toothpick?

Yeah. Thanks.
All right.

Well, he's
a happy surfer now.

Yep. That man was born
a happy surfer.

So what's your state of mind
concerning Lake Tahoe?

Tubular.

What?

I'm looking forward to it.

Okay, Walter. Let's go.

For what?

Well, I'm gonna
drop you off in Los Angeles.

Uh, no. He's gonna stick
around here for a while.

I'm teaching him
the fine art of having fun.

Uh, well, I think he's
already pretty good at that.

Wait a second, Chuckles.
Let her teach me.

I want to see if there's
anything I'm missing.

You know what
I'm talking about?

Just gonna fine-tune him
a little bit.

Try to stay out
of the headlines, then.
Why do you always

hamper me down?
Slap me, homeboy.

It's Homie boy.

Blake, I owe you
an adventure.

Oh, come here.

[screaming]

[screaming continues]

Gnarly, man!

Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA

* Everybody's got
something to say *

* About the situation

* If you listen

* Whenever he talks

* Stimulation

* Friendly advice
can help you *

* But in the end

* You gotta follow
your own voice *

* Think, think, think
for yourself *

* You gotta think,
think, think *

* Think for yourself

* Your friends know
you're having it rough *

* But their two cents
ain't good enough *

* You gotta think think think

* For yourself

* Sometimes you talk

* To tell
just where you're going *

* Life is up or down

* But it always
keeps on flowing *

* You may be wrong or right

* But in the end

* You gotta
follow your own light *

* Think think think think

* For yourself

* You gotta
think, think, think *

* For yourself

* Sunshine

* Come on into my window

* Stay with me all night

* To see you face

* Show a sign

* It's gonna be all right

* All the danger signs

* Have taken flight

* Get me on my way

* I need more good loving

* I need the sunshine

* In my life

* Let me find the way

* To your good loving

* Soon as you are mine

* We will be dangerous tonight
*

* It's gonna be all right now

* Gonna be all right now

* Gonna be all right now

* To be dangerous tonight

* Photos

* Just on my wall

* There ain't nothing

* Gonna warm me
like your smile *

* Well, sunshine

* Lighting up my night

* Sitting dangerous

* Until our waking hour

* Let me find a way

* To your good loving

* Soon as you are mine

* We'll be dangerous tonight

* Gonna be all right now

* Gonna be all right now