Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,203 --> 00:00:08,351
[HORN BEEPS OUTSIDE]
2
00:00:13,337 --> 00:00:14,608
[GROANS]
3
00:00:16,507 --> 00:00:17,443
Hm?
4
00:00:19,110 --> 00:00:20,173
[GRUNTS]
5
00:00:25,363 --> 00:00:27,115
[ALARM CHIMING]
6
00:00:27,974 --> 00:00:28,939
Oh!
7
00:00:28,975 --> 00:00:30,145
Just gonna... get that.
8
00:00:31,444 --> 00:00:32,914
- Oh, God.
- [ALARM STOPS]
9
00:00:34,499 --> 00:00:35,782
What time is it?
10
00:00:35,807 --> 00:00:37,250
Oh, it's pretty early.
11
00:00:37,432 --> 00:00:39,200
- Good morning.
- Hi. Oh! Heh.
12
00:00:39,619 --> 00:00:42,687
Sorry. I'm not a... a big morning kisser.
13
00:00:44,516 --> 00:00:46,198
[EXHALES, SNIFFS] I get it.
14
00:00:47,175 --> 00:00:48,271
Yeah.
15
00:00:48,296 --> 00:00:51,436
Oh. I am... not fresh.
16
00:00:52,031 --> 00:00:53,130
Mm-hmm.
17
00:00:54,230 --> 00:00:55,331
So, uh...
18
00:00:55,385 --> 00:00:56,665
Do you, um...
19
00:00:57,087 --> 00:00:58,809
have somewhere to be today or...?
20
00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:01,288
Uh... no.
21
00:01:02,538 --> 00:01:03,524
No.
22
00:01:03,702 --> 00:01:06,042
I work Monday, Wednesday, Fri... Friday.
23
00:01:07,029 --> 00:01:08,596
- At the...
- Oh.
24
00:01:08,803 --> 00:01:10,297
At Cold Stone Creamery?
25
00:01:10,667 --> 00:01:11,765
Mm.
26
00:01:11,801 --> 00:01:12,843
You heard of it?
27
00:01:13,297 --> 00:01:14,301
Yeah.
28
00:01:14,709 --> 00:01:16,465
You should come by, I'll... [CHUCKLES]
29
00:01:17,401 --> 00:01:20,780
I'll, uh, happily mix anything in
you want, any contraband. [CHUCKLES]
30
00:01:20,815 --> 00:01:23,193
[LAUGHS] Eww. I can give
you my employee discount.
31
00:01:23,324 --> 00:01:24,790
Oh. That's nice.
32
00:01:24,825 --> 00:01:27,460
I'm lactose intolerant, though, so...
33
00:01:28,430 --> 00:01:30,138
Hey, um...
34
00:01:32,096 --> 00:01:33,315
Last night...
35
00:01:34,635 --> 00:01:36,092
was really special.
36
00:01:38,339 --> 00:01:39,718
Yeah... it was.
37
00:01:39,743 --> 00:01:43,239
Um... sorry. I... I have to get to work.
38
00:01:43,448 --> 00:01:46,249
- I still have this temp job.
- Yeah.
39
00:01:46,284 --> 00:01:49,153
I'm doing some, some
data entry during the day.
40
00:01:49,251 --> 00:01:51,939
Yeah. Making the cash.
41
00:01:52,554 --> 00:01:54,220
Making the sweet cheddar.
42
00:01:54,256 --> 00:01:56,702
Okay, so... yeah. I mean,
43
00:01:57,327 --> 00:01:58,361
definitely, you know,
44
00:01:58,397 --> 00:02:00,959
take a minute or two to
get your stuff together.
45
00:02:01,065 --> 00:02:03,098
Oh my God, that is a lifesaver.
46
00:02:03,351 --> 00:02:05,284
If I could just have a
few more hours of sleep,
47
00:02:05,319 --> 00:02:07,086
I think it would make a
big difference. [SIGHS]
48
00:02:07,121 --> 00:02:10,545
Sure. Yeah, fine. Um,
the door locks behind you.
49
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:13,013
Okay? I mean,
50
00:02:13,135 --> 00:02:14,831
can I use your bathroom?
51
00:02:15,319 --> 00:02:16,449
Sure.
52
00:02:21,858 --> 00:02:22,991
[CLATTERS]
53
00:02:23,026 --> 00:02:24,159
Can you? Okay.
54
00:02:24,194 --> 00:02:26,079
- Bike on wall.
- That's my bike, it's right there.
55
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,291
[SIGHING]
56
00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:31,409
What are you doing?
57
00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:33,251
[URINE SPLASHING]
58
00:02:33,551 --> 00:02:35,423
No, no. This is just a sit-pee.
59
00:02:35,477 --> 00:02:37,661
I... The room's kind of spinning.
60
00:02:37,686 --> 00:02:41,387
I don't think I should be
standing and aiming right now.
61
00:02:41,422 --> 00:02:42,568
Just close the door.
62
00:02:42,801 --> 00:02:46,068
That's usually what people
do when they're... sit-peeing.
63
00:02:46,436 --> 00:02:48,104
I was mostly done. [SIGHS]
64
00:02:49,279 --> 00:02:50,919
All right, I gotta go!
65
00:02:51,047 --> 00:02:53,364
But, um, have a great day!
66
00:02:54,484 --> 00:02:55,583
Okay.
67
00:02:57,088 --> 00:02:58,606
Don't stay too long!
68
00:02:59,128 --> 00:03:02,156
Are any of these toothbrushes
guest toothbrushes?
69
00:03:04,094 --> 00:03:05,143
Ali?
70
00:03:07,364 --> 00:03:10,031
?
71
00:03:10,168 --> 00:03:12,684
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com
72
00:03:12,803 --> 00:03:16,304
? Sunday mornin' ?
73
00:03:17,474 --> 00:03:20,875
? Brings the dawn in ?
74
00:03:22,012 --> 00:03:25,646
? It's just a restless feelin' ?
75
00:03:26,549 --> 00:03:29,817
? By my side ?
76
00:03:30,887 --> 00:03:34,222
? Early dawning ?
77
00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:38,926
? Sunday mornin' ?
78
00:03:40,129 --> 00:03:42,996
? It's just the wasted years ?
79
00:03:43,032 --> 00:03:46,767
? So close behind... ?
80
00:03:46,803 --> 00:03:49,011
- Wow!
- The floors are awesome.
81
00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:52,730
Oh, my gosh. That's so cool.
82
00:03:52,755 --> 00:03:53,858
[CLATTERS]
83
00:03:54,676 --> 00:03:55,764
Hey.
84
00:03:56,979 --> 00:03:58,611
[TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY]
85
00:03:58,889 --> 00:04:01,285
I'm, uh, I'm Pete. Ali said it was okay if
86
00:04:01,310 --> 00:04:03,289
I wanted to cool out a little bit, so...
87
00:04:04,403 --> 00:04:07,037
Are you... Ali's boyfriend?
88
00:04:07,417 --> 00:04:09,584
I mean... [CHUCKLES]
It's funny you should ask,
89
00:04:09,619 --> 00:04:12,170
'cause that's kind of what
I've been mulling over.
90
00:04:12,254 --> 00:04:14,757
On one hand, we had a really
91
00:04:14,850 --> 00:04:16,356
amazing time last night,
92
00:04:16,392 --> 00:04:19,473
and on the other, she could not
have gotten out of here faster.
93
00:04:20,162 --> 00:04:21,656
So, who's to say?
94
00:04:22,216 --> 00:04:24,049
I mean, there was kind
of a thing this morning.
95
00:04:24,085 --> 00:04:27,025
- I was a little bit overly familiar, I...
- [CHUCKLES] Yes.
96
00:04:28,689 --> 00:04:31,423
[TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY]
97
00:04:31,459 --> 00:04:32,550
All right.
98
00:04:32,916 --> 00:04:33,843
[TIMER BEEPS]
99
00:04:34,862 --> 00:04:37,162
[TV CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]
100
00:04:48,214 --> 00:04:49,329
[GLASS CRACKS]
101
00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,373
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
102
00:04:57,123 --> 00:04:58,041
Shit!
103
00:05:08,852 --> 00:05:10,886
?
104
00:05:17,536 --> 00:05:18,760
[SIGHS]
105
00:05:30,807 --> 00:05:32,606
?
106
00:05:43,853 --> 00:05:45,527
- [DOOR OPENS]
- [MAN CHATTERING]
107
00:05:45,956 --> 00:05:47,521
Oh, really? Oh, that's...
108
00:05:47,557 --> 00:05:49,256
- Ali!
- [SCREAMS, GASPS]
109
00:05:49,632 --> 00:05:50,591
Hey.
110
00:05:50,626 --> 00:05:52,059
Oh my God!
111
00:05:52,094 --> 00:05:54,094
Uh, sorry. I... I just, um...
112
00:05:54,129 --> 00:05:57,759
What are you still doing
here? I don't understand.
113
00:05:58,300 --> 00:05:59,499
Who's this?
114
00:05:59,535 --> 00:06:02,647
I'm Steve. We work together. We have a...
115
00:06:02,678 --> 00:06:04,400
Shut the fuck up, Steve. It's fine.
116
00:06:04,782 --> 00:06:06,581
Pete, do you understand how creepy it is
117
00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:08,017
that you're still in my space?
118
00:06:08,052 --> 00:06:10,352
Yes. I'm sorry, I... I
just didn't wanna leave...
119
00:06:10,741 --> 00:06:12,243
I acci... I'm sorry.
120
00:06:12,243 --> 00:06:14,251
- I... I cracked your glass table.
- What?
121
00:06:14,477 --> 00:06:17,479
I made a tray... I'm so sorry...
of pasta.
122
00:06:17,504 --> 00:06:18,480
Oh! Fuck!
123
00:06:18,505 --> 00:06:21,114
- And I put the hot tray on the glass.
- Shit.
124
00:06:21,150 --> 00:06:23,217
PETE: I didn't know heat broke glass.
125
00:06:23,252 --> 00:06:24,917
- What?
- The tray is glass.
126
00:06:25,067 --> 00:06:27,434
Come on, man, that's untempered glass.
127
00:06:27,523 --> 00:06:30,327
You put anything above 300 degrees
on it, it's gonna crack for sure.
128
00:06:30,393 --> 00:06:32,427
There's special oven glass
and there's table glass?
129
00:06:32,462 --> 00:06:34,395
Obviously, you can't just,
you know, you couldn't...
130
00:06:34,431 --> 00:06:36,630
You wouldn't put your glass
table in the oven, it'd shatter.
131
00:06:36,666 --> 00:06:38,332
There's all different
kinds of glass, you know?
132
00:06:38,368 --> 00:06:39,534
But the tray is glass.
133
00:06:39,569 --> 00:06:41,869
So... So what? You woke up, and
then you went in the kitchen,
134
00:06:41,904 --> 00:06:44,705
and made yourself a... breakfast lasagna?
135
00:06:44,740 --> 00:06:47,908
I... I'm hungover. You
don't have a lot of food.
136
00:06:47,944 --> 00:06:50,778
Um, should we talk about this?
137
00:06:50,813 --> 00:06:52,282
Steve? Can you, um...
138
00:06:52,634 --> 00:06:55,138
Can you just give us a second? Please?
139
00:06:55,254 --> 00:06:56,520
Okay.
140
00:06:58,457 --> 00:07:00,844
I'm sorry. You look... you
look really nice. I like the...
141
00:07:00,915 --> 00:07:02,235
Okay. Okay, you said it.
142
00:07:02,260 --> 00:07:04,520
Um, I think maybe you're
getting the wrong idea here.
143
00:07:04,563 --> 00:07:07,965
Like, last night was
really fun, absolutely.
144
00:07:08,002 --> 00:07:09,140
- Really fun.
- It was fun. Yes.
145
00:07:09,165 --> 00:07:11,798
Um, but I told you that
I don't date comics.
146
00:07:11,833 --> 00:07:13,896
Right. While we were
having drinks, and then...
147
00:07:13,921 --> 00:07:15,783
- Mm-hmm.
- ...one thing led to another.
148
00:07:16,415 --> 00:07:19,216
- Mm-hmm.
- And then, we had sex.
149
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,775
Right! So...?
150
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:22,831
So...
151
00:07:24,135 --> 00:07:25,290
[STAMMERS]
152
00:07:25,290 --> 00:07:28,191
I know sex is a casual
thing to some people,
153
00:07:28,227 --> 00:07:31,032
but I... you're the second
person in my entire life
154
00:07:31,032 --> 00:07:32,798
I've ever made love to.
155
00:07:32,809 --> 00:07:33,976
Oh my God.
156
00:07:34,001 --> 00:07:36,134
- Um...
- Ali, that... it meant something to me.
157
00:07:36,169 --> 00:07:39,926
It wasn't just some casual,
secular sort of hookup.
158
00:07:39,997 --> 00:07:42,876
Okay. Pete, um, it was a hookup, though.
159
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,262
It was a hookup.
160
00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:47,365
I just... I mean... that...
It meant something to me,
161
00:07:47,401 --> 00:07:50,534
and I think it meant something to you. I...
162
00:07:50,672 --> 00:07:53,372
- What?
- I liked... being with you.
163
00:07:53,408 --> 00:07:54,874
I liked waking up here. I liked...
164
00:07:54,910 --> 00:07:57,062
Yeah, great, but, like, that's...
165
00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:59,527
that's where we end it, you know?
166
00:07:59,836 --> 00:08:03,001
That was a... That was a big
deal. I gave myself to you. I...
167
00:08:03,056 --> 00:08:05,285
Okay. [STAMMERS] You gotta go.
168
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,451
- Okay.
- You gotta go.
169
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,327
- I... I... I'm really sorry.
- It's time.
170
00:08:08,327 --> 00:08:09,357
I can buy you a new table.
171
00:08:09,382 --> 00:08:11,366
No, it's fine. Seriously, it's fine.
172
00:08:11,427 --> 00:08:13,606
Okay. I'm so sorry. Again.
173
00:08:13,631 --> 00:08:14,897
Yep. Okay.
174
00:08:14,932 --> 00:08:16,853
- I guess, I love you.
- Wow.
175
00:08:16,909 --> 00:08:18,042
- Sorry, that was reflexive.
- Okay!
176
00:08:18,077 --> 00:08:19,977
- [DOOR SLAMS]
- [DOORBELL REVERBERATES]
177
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,477
[MUTTERS]
178
00:08:29,516 --> 00:08:30,982
[SIGHS]
179
00:08:31,018 --> 00:08:33,818
?
180
00:08:41,927 --> 00:08:46,531
? I know, baby, I'm the
last one on your list ?
181
00:08:46,566 --> 00:08:50,052
? I'm holding last place on
the lips you long to kiss ?
182
00:08:50,099 --> 00:08:51,603
[PHONE RINGING]
183
00:08:51,604 --> 00:08:53,804
? It seems so hopeless... ?
184
00:08:53,839 --> 00:08:55,272
Do you feel that in there?
185
00:08:55,307 --> 00:08:56,674
Yeah... uh, yeah.
186
00:08:56,709 --> 00:09:00,180
- Mm.
- That's pretty intense. Wow.
187
00:09:01,295 --> 00:09:02,286
Hey.
188
00:09:02,430 --> 00:09:04,130
- Sorry. I'm sorry.
- Peter.
189
00:09:04,165 --> 00:09:05,832
Hey, man. I'm really sorry, man.
190
00:09:05,867 --> 00:09:07,466
I... I got here as fast as I could.
191
00:09:07,502 --> 00:09:09,168
You smell like rum, brother.
192
00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:11,036
[SIGHS] I'm very hungover.
193
00:09:11,454 --> 00:09:14,840
I'd offer you some hot cider,
but the pressure cooker busted,
194
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,900
right in the middle of that rush, 'cause...
195
00:09:17,465 --> 00:09:19,365
I think 'cause I tried to make soap in it,
196
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:21,446
which shouldn't have done, but...
197
00:09:21,482 --> 00:09:23,181
I'm really sorry, man, I... I fucked up.
198
00:09:23,216 --> 00:09:26,451
Hey, it's all right.
Look at you. What is this?
199
00:09:26,487 --> 00:09:28,953
Uh, you don't have to...
That's... that's okay.
200
00:09:28,989 --> 00:09:30,755
- Let's put these down.
- Have a seat. Sit down.
201
00:09:30,791 --> 00:09:32,190
I don't... I don't need a massage.
202
00:09:32,225 --> 00:09:34,058
I need Advil and a Diet Coke.
203
00:09:34,094 --> 00:09:35,435
- I get it.
- Let's just...
204
00:09:35,482 --> 00:09:37,171
No worries. Just have a seat.
205
00:09:38,572 --> 00:09:41,259
- Here.
- What are you...? Come on, man. Ow.
206
00:09:41,642 --> 00:09:42,822
Here.
207
00:09:43,077 --> 00:09:44,486
- Oh...
- There.
208
00:09:45,223 --> 00:09:48,946
I've just run into a
little bit of blockage, man.
209
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:50,482
[GRUNTS]
210
00:09:50,517 --> 00:09:53,151
Oh my God. Please don't stop.
211
00:09:53,186 --> 00:09:55,834
I'm not stopping. I'm
just oiling up, Peter.
212
00:09:57,615 --> 00:10:00,648
- [GRUNTS]
- Oh... God.
213
00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:03,925
There's a whole new Peter I'm uncovering.
214
00:10:05,055 --> 00:10:08,395
Is this... Is this what you did to my wife?
215
00:10:09,261 --> 00:10:10,660
In a way.
216
00:10:12,063 --> 00:10:13,620
- Ah... Oh!
- Ah-ah!
217
00:10:15,607 --> 00:10:17,226
Oh, there you are, Peter.
218
00:10:18,352 --> 00:10:19,638
Ah.
219
00:10:20,812 --> 00:10:22,377
Let's go get you some fries.
220
00:10:23,348 --> 00:10:25,881
?
221
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,205
Thank you.
222
00:10:30,975 --> 00:10:32,655
There's something
different about you, Peter.
223
00:10:32,691 --> 00:10:36,158
Your vibrations are...
very different. What's up?
224
00:10:37,561 --> 00:10:38,631
I don't know.
225
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:43,181
I did kind of get into it last night.
226
00:10:43,816 --> 00:10:45,277
I'm a little hungover.
227
00:10:46,190 --> 00:10:47,240
I actually...
228
00:10:48,173 --> 00:10:49,853
I had sex last night.
229
00:10:50,153 --> 00:10:52,853
Se... Peter, mazel tov!
230
00:10:53,091 --> 00:10:55,832
That's outstanding.
Making love is making love.
231
00:10:55,857 --> 00:10:56,868
Uh-huh.
232
00:10:56,893 --> 00:10:59,395
There's more of it now
for us today to share.
233
00:10:59,681 --> 00:11:00,797
Yeah.
234
00:11:01,115 --> 00:11:03,967
I kind of thought maybe
it was one thing, and...
235
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,930
It was just a casual... It was just casual.
236
00:11:07,198 --> 00:11:09,631
She made that... abundantly clear.
237
00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:11,635
Hey, man, to hell with the labels.
238
00:11:11,711 --> 00:11:13,578
There was a transference of energy.
239
00:11:13,613 --> 00:11:16,863
Your horn blew and it was heard, my friend.
240
00:11:17,284 --> 00:11:18,253
How was it?
241
00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:20,594
It was my first time using a condom.
242
00:11:21,821 --> 00:11:23,087
So that... It was a little weird.
243
00:11:23,122 --> 00:11:25,938
Sure. Yeah. Au naturel is preferred, but...
244
00:11:26,545 --> 00:11:29,191
She had 'em right there, in a basket.
245
00:11:29,688 --> 00:11:31,382
Like for fruit or keys.
246
00:11:31,823 --> 00:11:33,944
Just dozens of free condoms.
247
00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:35,692
Like a clinic.
248
00:11:36,746 --> 00:11:38,143
I... I feel like...
249
00:11:39,006 --> 00:11:41,348
the condom isn't the issue.
250
00:11:41,588 --> 00:11:43,569
There's somethin' else. What's up, man?
251
00:11:49,553 --> 00:11:52,397
I just can't shake the feeling
that I did something wrong.
252
00:11:52,623 --> 00:11:55,490
Okay? Like I... I'm
getting away with something,
253
00:11:55,526 --> 00:11:56,989
like I robbed a bank.
254
00:11:57,528 --> 00:11:59,833
I... I feel like I sinned.
255
00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:03,231
Which is weird, 'cause I don't
even know if I believe in that.
256
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:07,235
Ooh, sounds to me like you
are expanding your mind.
257
00:12:07,663 --> 00:12:10,900
I had a conversation,
I had too many drinks,
258
00:12:10,925 --> 00:12:12,557
I did something I never thought I'd do,
259
00:12:12,592 --> 00:12:14,126
and now I feel like a different person.
260
00:12:14,161 --> 00:12:16,789
- Oh, good.
- No! That's not good!
261
00:12:17,435 --> 00:12:19,001
What part of that is good?
262
00:12:19,037 --> 00:12:21,765
I liked who I was. I wanna be that guy.
263
00:12:21,906 --> 00:12:25,507
You need to lose yourself
to find out who you are.
264
00:12:25,543 --> 00:12:26,542
That's exciting.
265
00:12:26,577 --> 00:12:30,345
It's not exciting to be
floating on a blue marble,
266
00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:33,672
in an infinitely expanding
universe. Where's it goin'?
267
00:12:34,164 --> 00:12:36,121
What's on the other side of the expanding?
268
00:12:36,821 --> 00:12:37,986
Infinite universe.
269
00:12:38,021 --> 00:12:39,688
- Fuck!
- I know.
270
00:12:39,723 --> 00:12:41,594
- No!
- Yes!
271
00:12:44,662 --> 00:12:47,363
Peter, I went to a party
when I was in college.
272
00:12:47,461 --> 00:12:48,693
You went to college?
273
00:12:48,730 --> 00:12:50,030
Tons of 'em, man.
274
00:12:50,767 --> 00:12:53,564
All I knew about it was that
it was on Sycamore Street,
275
00:12:53,803 --> 00:12:55,774
at a house with a red door.
276
00:12:56,473 --> 00:13:00,103
So I go to Sycamore Street. Find a house.
277
00:13:00,410 --> 00:13:02,723
It's got a red door. I walk inside.
278
00:13:03,164 --> 00:13:06,801
There's a party, and I don't
know a single soul in it.
279
00:13:07,984 --> 00:13:10,818
It was the wrong party and the wrong house.
280
00:13:12,221 --> 00:13:13,888
So just as I'm about to bug out,
281
00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:15,115
the host finds me...
282
00:13:15,802 --> 00:13:16,824
calms me down.
283
00:13:16,860 --> 00:13:20,407
He says, "You're not in the wrong
house. You're in the right house."
284
00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:23,335
And then he introduces me to everybody.
285
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:24,702
Gives me pizza.
286
00:13:24,738 --> 00:13:26,132
I meet his dad.
287
00:13:26,552 --> 00:13:27,731
What's your point?
288
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:31,665
Pete, you feel like you
went into the wrong red door.
289
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:33,478
But you didn't.
290
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,616
You went into the perfect door, brother.
291
00:13:36,303 --> 00:13:38,494
There's no reason to be scared.
292
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:41,130
You just have to relax and acclimate.
293
00:13:42,254 --> 00:13:43,554
This is a party, man.
294
00:13:44,017 --> 00:13:46,918
Life is a party. There's
pizza, and some guy's dad
295
00:13:46,953 --> 00:13:48,737
that still texts you on your birthday.
296
00:13:50,423 --> 00:13:51,713
You're not alone, Peter.
297
00:13:51,951 --> 00:13:53,444
You're never alone, man.
298
00:13:53,752 --> 00:13:54,765
Come on.
299
00:13:55,788 --> 00:13:57,922
Where? Where are you taking me?
300
00:13:58,824 --> 00:14:01,158
Peter, just be with me today.
301
00:14:01,194 --> 00:14:03,512
Okay? The goal is no goal.
302
00:14:03,762 --> 00:14:06,505
It's not about getting on
the Johnny Carson Show.
303
00:14:06,837 --> 00:14:07,981
It's just...
304
00:14:08,371 --> 00:14:09,710
Oh! Oh!
305
00:14:10,072 --> 00:14:12,451
Hey. Hey, why do I feel high?
306
00:14:13,165 --> 00:14:14,900
Did that oil you put on me,
307
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,532
did that have weed in it?
308
00:14:16,532 --> 00:14:17,932
[LAUGHS] Yeah, of course it did.
309
00:14:17,968 --> 00:14:19,901
Otherwise, it wouldn't be healing weed oil.
310
00:14:19,936 --> 00:14:21,569
Yeah, but you... You got me high.
311
00:14:22,022 --> 00:14:23,155
You got you high.
312
00:14:23,180 --> 00:14:26,289
You let me rub it on
you, man, but it's okay.
313
00:14:26,325 --> 00:14:29,927
It's just topical. It's not supposed
to soak into your bloodstream,
314
00:14:29,962 --> 00:14:31,434
I don't think, through your forehead.
315
00:14:31,434 --> 00:14:32,905
That's im... That's possible.
316
00:14:33,417 --> 00:14:34,749
Is that possible?
317
00:14:34,785 --> 00:14:36,251
I don't know, actually.
318
00:14:36,287 --> 00:14:38,750
I've never used it
without already being high.
319
00:14:39,123 --> 00:14:42,189
?
320
00:14:44,567 --> 00:14:46,535
- This way.
- Where you goin'?
321
00:14:46,563 --> 00:14:48,763
I don't know. We're
followin' the lights, brother.
322
00:14:48,799 --> 00:14:50,660
When we hit a "don't walk," we turn.
323
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:53,467
We're flowin' down the
river of the city, brother.
324
00:14:53,502 --> 00:14:54,905
Listen to its feedback.
325
00:14:55,399 --> 00:14:57,131
That's not feedback, it's on a timer.
326
00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:00,046
?
327
00:15:05,314 --> 00:15:07,748
?
328
00:15:15,757 --> 00:15:17,958
?
329
00:15:21,831 --> 00:15:23,697
All right, Peter, which way, brother?
330
00:15:27,655 --> 00:15:30,129
Right? He's feelin' right.
331
00:15:34,679 --> 00:15:37,501
Move out. Stuck-up ass,
fake brainy-looking...
332
00:15:37,540 --> 00:15:38,857
Yo, George Clooney.
333
00:15:38,857 --> 00:15:40,145
New... New blend.
334
00:15:40,492 --> 00:15:41,658
One time.
335
00:15:41,693 --> 00:15:44,027
Hey! You guys like hip-hop?
336
00:15:44,671 --> 00:15:47,216
- Yeah, yeah, yeah... Yeah, I like hip-hop.
- Yeah, Peter...
337
00:15:47,263 --> 00:15:49,084
- Check this shit out.
- Uh, Kendrick Lamar?
338
00:15:49,138 --> 00:15:50,584
Man, fuck that nigga, he already rich.
339
00:15:50,609 --> 00:15:52,913
This that new underground
shit, that good good.
340
00:15:53,513 --> 00:15:54,636
It's loud!
341
00:15:57,049 --> 00:15:59,757
It's good, this is good. It's... Oh...
342
00:16:00,216 --> 00:16:01,483
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
343
00:16:01,803 --> 00:16:05,255
Cool, man. That's cool, thank
you. Thanks for letting me listen.
344
00:16:05,290 --> 00:16:07,323
Nah, nah, that's you,
boy. That's 10 dollars.
345
00:16:07,942 --> 00:16:10,119
- No, I...
- Nah, man, help me out, man.
346
00:16:10,119 --> 00:16:12,052
I've been on the corner all day, all night.
347
00:16:12,117 --> 00:16:14,288
It's smoky as shit out here,
ain't no bitches out here.
348
00:16:14,313 --> 00:16:16,605
The police harassin' a
nigga, all that shit, man.
349
00:16:17,417 --> 00:16:20,468
I'm sorry about all that. Uh, but
I... I don't... I don't want...
350
00:16:20,506 --> 00:16:22,427
Oh! Okay. A'ight.
351
00:16:22,453 --> 00:16:23,927
Okay, I see. I see what this is.
352
00:16:24,444 --> 00:16:27,242
Another white man takin'
advantage of another brother, huh?
353
00:16:27,447 --> 00:16:30,582
I... No. It's... it's not
a racial thing, I'm just...
354
00:16:30,617 --> 00:16:32,384
Oh, it's always a racial thing in America.
355
00:16:32,419 --> 00:16:34,462
And your white guilt is
showin' all over the place.
356
00:16:34,595 --> 00:16:37,192
I don't have white guilt... I have
the right level of white guilt.
357
00:16:37,489 --> 00:16:39,143
But I'm not, like... Are you...
358
00:16:39,810 --> 00:16:42,169
I'm sorry, I feel like
you're trying to scare me.
359
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:44,918
Oh, now... Okay, now the
scare card comes in, right?
360
00:16:44,943 --> 00:16:46,310
This is getting a little scary.
361
00:16:46,346 --> 00:16:47,542
Scary? 'Cause I'm black?
362
00:16:47,543 --> 00:16:49,527
- No!
- Do I look like I got a gun on me?
363
00:16:49,598 --> 00:16:50,676
- No.
- Huh?
364
00:16:50,711 --> 00:16:53,933
Okay. Cool. Hi. I'm here
now, and my name's Leif.
365
00:16:54,150 --> 00:16:55,615
Very nice to meet you.
366
00:16:56,001 --> 00:16:57,466
I'm so happy. You're...
you're the artist...
367
00:16:57,502 --> 00:16:59,430
You're an artist, and this is your album?
368
00:16:59,430 --> 00:17:00,996
Yeah, man, and it's 10 dollars.
369
00:17:01,266 --> 00:17:04,941
It's beautiful, man. This is...
this is your heart and soul,
370
00:17:04,966 --> 00:17:08,245
on this record, right here.
This is... this is your art.
371
00:17:10,145 --> 00:17:13,279
Here's the thing, it's... it's
really my man Sherman's, but I'm...
372
00:17:13,316 --> 00:17:16,383
I'm on the last song, in the
background, doin' the ad lib,
373
00:17:16,419 --> 00:17:18,036
like this, take that,
take that, whoop-whoop!
374
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:19,904
Ah, okay. That sounds like fun,
375
00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:23,524
but... why... why aren't
you doin' that on your own?
376
00:17:25,273 --> 00:17:27,606
To be honest, I been
hustlin' for Sherman so long,
377
00:17:27,641 --> 00:17:29,608
I ain't had time to do my own thing.
378
00:17:30,732 --> 00:17:32,926
Wow. Well, it sounds like
379
00:17:33,147 --> 00:17:35,675
you're the one being hustled then, right?
380
00:17:36,796 --> 00:17:39,554
Right. Right! That's what
I be tryin' to say, man.
381
00:17:39,609 --> 00:17:41,393
It's like, I got this gift, right?
382
00:17:41,456 --> 00:17:43,756
And it's like, I talk to God through music,
383
00:17:43,792 --> 00:17:46,793
and it's like the sounds of
nature flow through my body,
384
00:17:46,828 --> 00:17:50,228
and I can record a dove
or a pigeon with Auto-tune
385
00:17:50,263 --> 00:17:51,730
or just the right amount of reverb.
386
00:17:51,765 --> 00:17:53,521
I got... I got my own sound, like,
387
00:17:53,546 --> 00:17:55,133
you know, I fuck with the Jamaican shit
388
00:17:55,168 --> 00:17:57,187
and the heartbeats,
that's... that's what I do.
389
00:17:57,188 --> 00:17:58,378
You see what I'm sayin'?
390
00:17:58,623 --> 00:18:00,590
Have you shared any of this with Sherman?
391
00:18:02,322 --> 00:18:03,593
Not really, no.
392
00:18:04,955 --> 00:18:06,521
This is just my opinion.
393
00:18:06,715 --> 00:18:08,317
I feel like you don't need to waste
394
00:18:08,341 --> 00:18:10,192
your time talkin' to two dopes like us.
395
00:18:10,227 --> 00:18:11,592
You should talk to Sherman, man.
396
00:18:11,628 --> 00:18:14,562
And you should tell Sherman how
you feel and what you wanna make.
397
00:18:14,597 --> 00:18:17,533
And you follow your
art, all the way through.
398
00:18:18,202 --> 00:18:19,642
And we will buy that album.
399
00:18:23,293 --> 00:18:24,389
Thank you.
400
00:18:28,978 --> 00:18:30,073
Hey, Sherman!
401
00:18:31,681 --> 00:18:32,861
That was amazing.
402
00:18:33,416 --> 00:18:35,200
I'm not good with conflict.
403
00:18:36,185 --> 00:18:37,800
This is what it is, brother.
404
00:18:38,287 --> 00:18:41,155
This world craves harmony.
405
00:18:41,696 --> 00:18:43,691
And that's what we're here to do,
406
00:18:43,716 --> 00:18:46,884
restore that balance, every single day.
407
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,654
?
408
00:18:52,125 --> 00:18:55,066
When I was a kid, if I
asked my mom for hot dogs,
409
00:18:55,677 --> 00:18:57,159
she'd make me four.
410
00:18:58,786 --> 00:19:00,586
That was a serving when I was a child.
411
00:19:00,621 --> 00:19:03,487
I'd say, Mom, I want a hot
dog, she'd make half the pack.
412
00:19:04,631 --> 00:19:07,397
Did you have a brother
that ate the other four?
413
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:10,033
I think my brother was... He had two.
414
00:19:10,069 --> 00:19:13,060
It was like, Pete wants hot
dogs? Uh, double... double that.
415
00:19:14,573 --> 00:19:16,752
- She loved you.
- Yeah.
416
00:19:18,081 --> 00:19:19,397
So this is it?
417
00:19:19,858 --> 00:19:22,105
This is what you do, this is your day?
418
00:19:23,043 --> 00:19:25,380
What is time, anyway?
419
00:19:25,426 --> 00:19:29,011
Is it just the rate at
which one rock hurls itself
420
00:19:29,082 --> 00:19:31,549
around another rock in space?
421
00:19:31,585 --> 00:19:34,896
And if so, why do people call me late
422
00:19:35,472 --> 00:19:36,694
for a rock race?
423
00:19:36,927 --> 00:19:38,059
Oops, sorry.
424
00:19:38,095 --> 00:19:40,028
- Sorry!
- Oh. Shit.
425
00:19:40,063 --> 00:19:41,196
Hey. That's all right.
426
00:19:41,232 --> 00:19:42,698
- Sorry about that.
- Hey.
427
00:19:42,733 --> 00:19:43,752
- Hey.
- Mind if I...?
428
00:19:43,799 --> 00:19:45,431
Sure. Nice throw. If you wanna play,
429
00:19:45,467 --> 00:19:48,080
- you're more than welcome.
- Okay. Thanks, we will.
430
00:19:48,769 --> 00:19:51,304
How cool is that? Let's go.
These girls seem awesome.
431
00:19:51,339 --> 00:19:53,473
Yeah. Let's play Frisbee. I
haven't played since college.
432
00:19:53,508 --> 00:19:56,703
Yeah. Uh, why don't
you leave the ring here?
433
00:19:57,479 --> 00:19:59,231
- What?
- The wedding ring.
434
00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:00,963
It's liturgical, man, it's a weird symbol.
435
00:20:00,999 --> 00:20:02,642
It's... It's just a ring. Let's just...
436
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:05,902
It's too heavy. It's an
anchor, Peter. Let it go.
437
00:20:05,937 --> 00:20:07,804
Get past it. Let's set sail.
438
00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:09,644
Don't dock the ship too early.
439
00:20:10,108 --> 00:20:11,262
Come on!
440
00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:12,875
Hiyah!
441
00:20:12,911 --> 00:20:15,912
- Oh, look who's here!
- I gotcha!
442
00:20:16,329 --> 00:20:18,562
Ooh! Nice!
443
00:20:19,273 --> 00:20:21,840
- You play?
- Yeah, man, I play a little bit.
444
00:20:21,876 --> 00:20:22,948
Okay.
445
00:20:23,811 --> 00:20:28,847
?
446
00:20:43,463 --> 00:20:46,364
?
447
00:20:58,353 --> 00:21:00,553
PETER: I like reading books about movies
448
00:21:00,589 --> 00:21:02,555
after I've seen the movie
because then it's all cast.
449
00:21:02,591 --> 00:21:03,957
You know exactly what they look like.
450
00:21:03,993 --> 00:21:05,227
- Yeah, exactly.
- [LAUGHTER]
451
00:21:05,297 --> 00:21:06,474
[PHONE RINGING]
452
00:21:07,298 --> 00:21:08,828
Oh, don't answer that, man.
453
00:21:09,696 --> 00:21:10,998
I don't get a lot of calls.
454
00:21:12,311 --> 00:21:13,334
Hello?
455
00:21:14,963 --> 00:21:16,037
Yeah.
456
00:21:18,512 --> 00:21:22,013
Yes, yes. I'm... I'm close. I'm 20 minutes.
457
00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:24,794
I will be there. Thank you so much.
458
00:21:25,085 --> 00:21:26,731
- Yes. Thank you.
- Who's that?
459
00:21:27,492 --> 00:21:30,094
That was Dr. Oz. That
was the show Dr. Oz.
460
00:21:30,095 --> 00:21:32,661
They need a warm-up. Their warm-up
guy is sick, they need a warm-up.
461
00:21:32,696 --> 00:21:34,324
- Oh.
- Peter, that's amazing!
462
00:21:34,324 --> 00:21:35,556
- They called me!
- Whoa. Where is it?
463
00:21:35,592 --> 00:21:36,615
Long Island City.
464
00:21:36,654 --> 00:21:37,731
Man, think about it.
465
00:21:37,756 --> 00:21:40,037
The journey brought us here,
and you are close enough
466
00:21:40,147 --> 00:21:42,614
to be able to make that in
20 minutes. Think about that.
467
00:21:42,650 --> 00:21:44,650
No, I know! I know, I get it!
468
00:21:44,685 --> 00:21:46,541
This is it! I'm gonna
go warm-up Dr. Oz!
469
00:21:46,541 --> 00:21:47,674
- Wow!
- Come on!
470
00:21:47,904 --> 00:21:49,804
- Okay.
- It was very nice to meet you.
471
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:50,822
Nice meeting you, too.
472
00:21:50,847 --> 00:21:52,264
Thank you for the cheese, I appreciate it.
473
00:21:52,264 --> 00:21:53,564
- Okay.
- Bye!
474
00:21:53,815 --> 00:21:55,940
Leif! Come on!
475
00:21:56,295 --> 00:21:58,334
I wish I could stay, but
I'm kind of like his Sherpa.
476
00:21:58,797 --> 00:22:00,335
- Have fun.
- Okay.
477
00:22:03,035 --> 00:22:04,134
Thanks so much for having me.
478
00:22:04,169 --> 00:22:05,501
Thanks for gettin' here so quickly.
479
00:22:05,537 --> 00:22:07,395
We got your name from Rachael Ray.
480
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:09,973
You're sort of famous for
tellin' her mom to suck a dick.
481
00:22:10,527 --> 00:22:11,775
That's not what I said...
482
00:22:11,810 --> 00:22:14,143
You were like our fourth call,
but we were in a bit of a pinch.
483
00:22:14,178 --> 00:22:16,312
- [SNAPS FINGERS] Hey.
- Yeah, but that's not what I said.
484
00:22:16,347 --> 00:22:18,448
- It was just...
- So it's about 10, 12 minutes, okay?
485
00:22:18,483 --> 00:22:20,983
Okay. Uh, do I hand out candy, or...?
486
00:22:21,018 --> 00:22:22,952
We don't give out candy,
here, this is a health show.
487
00:22:22,987 --> 00:22:24,654
Here are some coupons for SoulCycle.
488
00:22:24,689 --> 00:22:26,043
Okay. Um,
489
00:22:27,053 --> 00:22:28,348
I hate to ask, but...
490
00:22:28,602 --> 00:22:29,958
The pay is 200 bucks.
491
00:22:31,295 --> 00:22:32,841
Rachael Ray was 400.
492
00:22:33,505 --> 00:22:34,837
Wow. Sweet gig.
493
00:22:34,873 --> 00:22:37,597
Sounds like you shouldn't have
told her mom to slob your knob.
494
00:22:38,455 --> 00:22:41,436
I didn't tell Rachael
Ray's mom to slob my knob.
495
00:22:41,461 --> 00:22:42,727
I heard you did.
496
00:22:43,016 --> 00:22:45,416
Okay, I'm the person
that the story's about,
497
00:22:45,452 --> 00:22:47,284
so I can tell you with authority
that I didn't tell her...
498
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:48,978
I was told that you said that
499
00:22:49,003 --> 00:22:51,104
Rachael Ray's mom should
nibble your nuts.
500
00:22:51,383 --> 00:22:53,559
That sounds like something a
child would say, I didn't say that.
501
00:22:53,584 --> 00:22:56,018
I heard you said that you wanted
her mom to gargle your gonads.
502
00:22:56,587 --> 00:22:58,187
Okay, are some of those written down?
503
00:22:58,222 --> 00:23:00,155
I have... Someone handed me some notes.
504
00:23:00,191 --> 00:23:02,657
I just wanna be clear.
There was a misunderstanding.
505
00:23:02,693 --> 00:23:04,718
- I did a little crowd work...
- Go for JJ.
506
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:08,012
- [THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
- Are you guys excited?
507
00:23:08,139 --> 00:23:09,436
AUDIENCE: Yeah!
508
00:23:09,495 --> 00:23:11,662
- Say yeah!
- Yeah!
509
00:23:11,845 --> 00:23:13,458
Go, go! That's good!
510
00:23:13,493 --> 00:23:15,159
Be like, heck, yeah!
511
00:23:15,195 --> 00:23:16,294
AUDIENCE: Heck, yeah!
512
00:23:16,329 --> 00:23:17,728
It's a family show, keep it heck.
513
00:23:17,763 --> 00:23:19,029
Heck, yeah!
514
00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:20,397
Heck, yeah!
515
00:23:20,813 --> 00:23:22,398
Dr. Oz is gonna tell us what's healthy.
516
00:23:22,434 --> 00:23:24,234
I saw an energy drink that was bragging
517
00:23:24,269 --> 00:23:27,838
that it was 2.5 times
stronger than Red Bull.
518
00:23:27,873 --> 00:23:29,320
- [SCATTERED LAUGHTER]
- Who...
519
00:23:29,345 --> 00:23:32,666
Yeah. Who is that for?
520
00:23:32,769 --> 00:23:33,913
[LAUGHTER]
521
00:23:33,948 --> 00:23:37,496
Who is drinking Red Bull like,
"Yeah, it's pretty strong,
522
00:23:38,229 --> 00:23:42,188
but they could kick this up
two and a half more times."
523
00:23:43,209 --> 00:23:44,990
'Cause I don't have paranoia
524
00:23:45,015 --> 00:23:47,195
and diarrhea immediately.
525
00:23:47,220 --> 00:23:48,418
[LAUGHTER]
526
00:23:48,742 --> 00:23:52,544
I can't be waiting for that.
I want first sip, soil myself.
527
00:23:52,579 --> 00:23:53,912
[LAUGHTER]
528
00:23:53,947 --> 00:23:55,747
I think my neighbor is a sniper.
529
00:23:55,782 --> 00:23:56,981
[LAUGHTER]
530
00:23:57,468 --> 00:23:59,968
Uh, we're gonna bring out
Dr. Oz and it's gonna be fun.
531
00:24:00,004 --> 00:24:01,115
Are you guys excited?
532
00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:02,405
AUDIENCE: Yeah!
533
00:24:02,430 --> 00:24:04,497
Show me that energy! Go, yeah!
534
00:24:04,774 --> 00:24:05,773
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
535
00:24:05,809 --> 00:24:08,170
All right, let's say
hi to Dr. Oz, everybody!
536
00:24:08,778 --> 00:24:09,748
I'm here.
537
00:24:09,780 --> 00:24:11,579
Oh! Dr. Oz. There he is!
538
00:24:11,737 --> 00:24:14,104
Hi, everybody, thank you for being here!
539
00:24:15,495 --> 00:24:17,062
- Hey.
- Okay, that's it.
540
00:24:17,097 --> 00:24:18,863
That's it, I... I don't go back out?
541
00:24:18,898 --> 00:24:20,706
One and done. Can I get the coupons?
542
00:24:20,734 --> 00:24:23,735
Oh. Yeah. I'm not tryin' to steal those.
543
00:24:25,071 --> 00:24:27,646
If I want something that's spinning
in circles and going nowhere,
544
00:24:27,897 --> 00:24:29,492
I have my life.
545
00:24:32,001 --> 00:24:34,235
You can leave the shirt
with Karen in wardrobe.
546
00:24:34,270 --> 00:24:35,269
Okay.
547
00:24:35,495 --> 00:24:37,238
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
548
00:24:37,273 --> 00:24:38,439
- Hey.
- Hey.
549
00:24:38,475 --> 00:24:41,608
Oh, wow, thank you. Uh, that
was... that was so great.
550
00:24:41,643 --> 00:24:42,943
Thanks for havin' me.
551
00:24:42,979 --> 00:24:44,644
You did a nice job, they seemed fired up.
552
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,514
Thank you. Thank you. [LAUGHS]
553
00:24:50,439 --> 00:24:51,602
Are you high?
554
00:24:51,974 --> 00:24:54,005
No, no, I... No.
555
00:24:54,645 --> 00:24:55,709
Look in my eyes, please.
556
00:24:55,744 --> 00:24:58,814
I... I'm... I'm not high.
557
00:24:59,247 --> 00:25:00,418
I know you're high.
558
00:25:00,782 --> 00:25:01,900
I'm Dr. Oz.
559
00:25:02,763 --> 00:25:06,168
Um... hey, could I ask you a question?
560
00:25:06,684 --> 00:25:09,036
I've had a confusing couple days and, uh...
561
00:25:09,742 --> 00:25:11,503
I was just wondering if you believe in God?
562
00:25:14,247 --> 00:25:15,397
Yeah, sure.
563
00:25:15,989 --> 00:25:19,351
Really? I thought, maybe
a man of science, you just,
564
00:25:19,620 --> 00:25:20,795
thought it was a fairy tale.
565
00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:23,860
I don't see science and faith
as opposing forces at all.
566
00:25:23,897 --> 00:25:25,597
See, for me, it's all about vocabulary.
567
00:25:25,915 --> 00:25:29,301
Think about that little speck of
mass that erupted into the big bang.
568
00:25:29,792 --> 00:25:32,107
Do you call it "the singularity"
or do you call it "God"?
569
00:25:32,621 --> 00:25:35,114
You know? I don't see much of a difference.
570
00:25:37,524 --> 00:25:39,491
I bet you are freakin' out right now
571
00:25:39,523 --> 00:25:41,026
'cause you are so high.
572
00:25:42,670 --> 00:25:44,516
It's... it's a bit much.
573
00:25:45,373 --> 00:25:46,977
Welcome to the show, everybody!
574
00:25:47,532 --> 00:25:50,844
- [APPLAUSE]
- So what's goin' on inside the human body?
575
00:25:53,437 --> 00:25:55,170
[WHISTLING]
576
00:26:06,886 --> 00:26:08,418
?
577
00:26:08,454 --> 00:26:09,987
Leif! Hey! Leif!
578
00:26:10,022 --> 00:26:11,088
Hey, Peter!
579
00:26:11,123 --> 00:26:12,223
Did you get all these cool gifts?
580
00:26:12,258 --> 00:26:14,027
No. Listen. Uh, where's your bag?
581
00:26:14,028 --> 00:26:15,361
The bag, our bag?
582
00:26:15,697 --> 00:26:18,861
Oh, God. Oh... I think I forgot it.
583
00:26:18,941 --> 00:26:20,147
We forgot it.
584
00:26:20,182 --> 00:26:22,048
I put my ring in your bag!
585
00:26:22,083 --> 00:26:23,212
That's okay. Well, calm down.
586
00:26:23,213 --> 00:26:25,481
The bag deserves to be
found and we shall find it.
587
00:26:25,516 --> 00:26:27,549
- So, we're gonna go.
- Come on.
588
00:26:27,585 --> 00:26:30,448
Is this part of the plan?
Get high and leave our shit?
589
00:26:30,821 --> 00:26:32,053
?
590
00:26:32,089 --> 00:26:33,602
POLICEMAN: Keep that path clear!
591
00:26:34,659 --> 00:26:36,325
[SIREN WAILS]
592
00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:38,301
Hold it, hold it. Shit!
593
00:26:38,628 --> 00:26:40,796
[SIREN WAILING]
594
00:26:41,481 --> 00:26:42,654
What's goin' on?
595
00:26:42,654 --> 00:26:44,474
I don't know. Bomb scare.
596
00:26:45,231 --> 00:26:46,556
[FIRE TRUCK HORN BLARES]
597
00:26:46,591 --> 00:26:48,624
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]
598
00:26:49,928 --> 00:26:53,262
[WHIRRING]
599
00:26:53,298 --> 00:26:55,125
LEIF: Oh... Oh.
600
00:26:55,848 --> 00:26:57,314
- What?
- Oh!
601
00:26:57,913 --> 00:26:59,950
- Peter, my pressure cooker, man!
- What?
602
00:27:00,238 --> 00:27:02,371
- Are you fuckin' kid... You kiddin' me?
- No.
603
00:27:02,407 --> 00:27:03,624
[WHIRRING]
604
00:27:03,703 --> 00:27:05,102
PETER: They think it's a fuckin' bomb!
605
00:27:05,137 --> 00:27:07,204
- Yeah.
- You can't leave a pressure cooker
606
00:27:07,239 --> 00:27:08,872
in a duffel bag and leave it in the park!
607
00:27:08,908 --> 00:27:11,108
- I didn't mean to!
- Okay. You didn't do anything wrong.
608
00:27:11,143 --> 00:27:13,310
We didn't do anything wrong,
I'll just... I'll grab a cop.
609
00:27:13,345 --> 00:27:15,337
I'll explain what happened. I'll
get my ring. I got to get my ring.
610
00:27:15,398 --> 00:27:17,531
No, no, no, leave the ring.
Don't worry about the ring, man.
611
00:27:17,566 --> 00:27:18,976
It's in the past, forget the ring.
612
00:27:18,977 --> 00:27:19,976
- I'll just explain...
- No, no, no!
613
00:27:20,011 --> 00:27:22,011
- Hey, you didn't do anything!
- I did do something.
614
00:27:22,046 --> 00:27:24,981
I have LSD in that bag, Peter.
I have some LSD in that bag.
615
00:27:25,016 --> 00:27:27,249
It carries like a mandatory
minimum of five years.
616
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:29,166
It's Reagan, man. It's not me.
617
00:27:29,201 --> 00:27:30,553
Are you fucking kidding me?
618
00:27:30,584 --> 00:27:32,503
- No, I'm not.
- This whole magical journey
619
00:27:32,539 --> 00:27:33,671
you had fuckin' narcotics on you?
620
00:27:33,706 --> 00:27:35,973
The Frisbee girls gave it to
me because they're Canadian
621
00:27:36,008 --> 00:27:38,198
and they were leaving town
and they... It was a gift.
622
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:39,412
I don't know.
623
00:27:39,746 --> 00:27:41,167
- Okay. Fuck you!
- Peter!
624
00:27:41,192 --> 00:27:43,424
- Get the fuck off!
- Wait! Peter!
625
00:27:43,433 --> 00:27:44,867
- Get the...
- Hold on, man!
626
00:27:44,902 --> 00:27:47,294
Aw! Fuckin' dick!
627
00:27:47,638 --> 00:27:49,410
- Sorry. Pete...
- [GRUNTS]
628
00:27:50,674 --> 00:27:52,406
Peter, that rock hit you!
629
00:27:52,441 --> 00:27:53,838
Hold it! Hold it!
630
00:27:54,210 --> 00:27:55,176
[GRUNTS]
631
00:27:55,211 --> 00:27:57,078
Fire in the hole!
632
00:27:57,938 --> 00:27:59,187
[CROWD GASPS]
633
00:28:06,213 --> 00:28:09,481
?
634
00:28:16,816 --> 00:28:17,915
LEIF: Hey, man.
635
00:28:17,950 --> 00:28:19,617
You know what you're learning, Peter?
636
00:28:19,893 --> 00:28:21,950
Strength, tons of it.
637
00:28:22,786 --> 00:28:24,523
You did a great job today, man,
638
00:28:24,547 --> 00:28:26,960
negotiating what's right
versus what's wrong.
639
00:28:27,711 --> 00:28:29,200
I'm really proud of you.
640
00:28:29,643 --> 00:28:30,643
Karmically, it might not work out
641
00:28:30,668 --> 00:28:33,792
in this lifetime, but who knows?
642
00:28:34,464 --> 00:28:36,754
In a hundred years, in a hundred lifetimes,
643
00:28:37,194 --> 00:28:39,485
you could be a dog and
someone gives you a bone.
644
00:28:40,494 --> 00:28:41,755
Can we go, please?
645
00:28:43,530 --> 00:28:45,134
You're finally learning to surf.
646
00:28:46,631 --> 00:28:48,740
No. No, I'm not!
647
00:28:49,249 --> 00:28:52,665
You forced me to surf, and I
didn't wanna do any of this!
648
00:28:53,573 --> 00:28:56,806
How... Why is it that when
bad things happen to me,
649
00:28:56,842 --> 00:28:59,243
it's all part of some magical
plan that only you understand?
650
00:28:59,278 --> 00:29:01,191
What about when shit happens to you?
651
00:29:02,389 --> 00:29:03,650
Um, I...
652
00:29:04,885 --> 00:29:06,767
I'll meditate on that for us both.
653
00:29:08,424 --> 00:29:09,868
Can you roll up the window?
654
00:29:16,293 --> 00:29:17,489
[SIREN CHIRPS]
655
00:29:21,364 --> 00:29:23,998
?
656
00:29:30,373 --> 00:29:34,008
? He wants to dream like a young man ?
657
00:29:35,011 --> 00:29:38,079
? With the wisdom of an old man ?
658
00:29:39,382 --> 00:29:43,084
? He wants his home and security ?
659
00:29:43,119 --> 00:29:46,586
? He wants to live
like a sailor at sea ?
660
00:29:48,157 --> 00:29:51,791
? Beautiful loser ?
661
00:29:51,827 --> 00:29:54,561
? Where you gonna fall ?
662
00:29:54,596 --> 00:30:00,567
? When you realize you
just can't have it all? ?
663
00:30:03,838 --> 00:30:07,073
? He's your oldest
and your best friend ?
664
00:30:08,142 --> 00:30:11,844
? If you need him,
he'll be there again ?
665
00:30:11,879 --> 00:30:13,346
? He's always willing ?
666
00:30:13,381 --> 00:30:16,148
? To be second best ?
667
00:30:16,184 --> 00:30:17,816
? A perfect lodger ?
668
00:30:17,852 --> 00:30:20,952
? A perfect guest ?
669
00:30:20,988 --> 00:30:23,321
? Beautiful loser ?
670
00:30:25,025 --> 00:30:28,093
? Read it on the wall ?
671
00:30:28,128 --> 00:30:30,395
? And realize ?
672
00:30:30,430 --> 00:30:33,965
? You just can't have it all ?
673
00:30:34,001 --> 00:30:36,834
? Just can't have it... ?
674
00:30:36,884 --> 00:30:41,434
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
48251
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
