Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:19,280
HE HUMS TO HIMSELF
2 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:20,800
2
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:24,840
What? No.
3
00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:26,920
Well, tuck your shirt in then.
4
00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:30,040
If my mother had caught me in the
street with my shirt hanging out,
5
00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:31,960
there'd have been hell to pay.
6
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:34,480
There would have been no
Sunday school for me, never mind
7
00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:37,840
waddling down the road with
your trousers round your ankles.
8
00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:39,240
Have a think about that.
9
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,200
POP MUSIC PLAYS
10
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,480
SHE HUMS TO HERSELF
11
00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:53,680
Sorry. Love this song.
12
00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:56,120
Oh, yes. Yes, it's got a...
13
00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,480
It's got a lovely rhythm.
14
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,720
Is it a new song?
You don't know it? No, I don't.
15
00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:06,960
I'm not...
I don't really like music. What?
16
00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:11,080
I find it more irritating
than anything. All music?
17
00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:13,280
Er...yeah.
18
00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:14,600
Only me
19
00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:16,240
Coming through the door
20
00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:17,960
Singing this song
21
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:20,200
And I'll have a number three.
22
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:26,160
Thank you! I couldn't live without
music. You can't not like all music.
23
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:30,040
That's like you're an alien
or a...cat.
24
00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,080
No, I'm not a cat. No.
25
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,640
I don't like string.
You don't like string?
26
00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,160
No, I...I do like string.
27
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,320
Katya, are you back
on the solids then?
28
00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:42,760
This is a soup bar, Arthur.
29
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:44,480
It's made from soup.
30
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:45,920
You want to be careful, though.
31
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,320
That might be one of those GM foods.
32
00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:52,080
You don't want to touch anything
out of Greater Manchester.
33
00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:59,640
Hey, Sinem. Have you written
"fizzy slush" on the board? No.
34
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:01,760
We have to let the people know
we have the machine.
35
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:04,640
The kids love fizzy slush.
No, they don't. It's disgusting.
36
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,200
I don't even like saying the words.
37
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:10,840
You know, I don't even like thinking
about it. Fizzy slush? Ugh.
38
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,360
Where's the chalk?
Stay away from my sister.
39
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,360
What? I said, "Where's the chalk?"
In the drawer.
40
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:27,440
Tea and two toasts, please, Bulent.
All right, John? How's tricks then?
41
00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:31,880
Morning, Arthur. Morning...
Sorry, what's your name again, mate?
42
00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:36,720
My name's Michael.
What are you asking him for?
43
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,160
Sorry? You said...
44
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:42,000
WITH RISING INFLECTION:
"My name's Michael."
45
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,640
You're not sure of your name?
No, I am.
46
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:47,080
Well, don't say it like a question.
All right, sorry.
47
00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,760
WITH RISING INFLECTION:
My name's Michael.
48
00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:53,200
That was worse, if anything. You
made me think about it too much now.
49
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,480
My name's M...
50
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:57,800
Mi...
51
00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,920
Michael. I've done it again.
52
00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:03,760
Here, Arthur, here's that book I was
telling you about. Oh, thanks, Eggy.
53
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:07,120
Looks like a good one.
The Faux-lympics? What's that?
54
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:10,760
It's about how they faked
the Olympics.
55
00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:12,320
What? Yeah.
56
00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:16,120
To keep our minds off the recession.
What do you mean faked?
57
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:17,680
They didn't happen.
58
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,080
The whole Olympics? Yeah.
59
00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,120
The ones that were in London? Yeah.
60
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:23,800
Then what was that on the telly?
61
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:27,920
Actors. Actors? They were
all actors? All the athletes?
62
00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:29,560
But there were thousands of them.
63
00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,120
That's why they're
only every four years.
64
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,760
The casting takes ages.
65
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:37,280
It's all in the book. Well, I
look forward to reading that, Eggy.
66
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:40,400
I thought there was something funny
going on when I was watching it.
67
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,400
Something funny going on?
68
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:45,120
Yeah. The 400 metres, for instance.
69
00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:48,000
The man that won that
was in an episode of Casualty.
70
00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:52,640
Yeah, they slipped up there,
didn't they?
71
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:55,480
Did anyone notice anything
strange on the way here?
72
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:56,920
Yeah, I did, John.
73
00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:00,280
They've got a two-for-one offer
on lamb chops at the butcher's.
74
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:04,000
Very strange. No, it's not that,
Arthur. It's just...
75
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:08,160
it feels like something's about
to happen. You bet it will.
76
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,040
Two-for-one on chops?
It'll all kick off now.
77
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,240
We need to get different
colours for the chalk
78
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:15,760
so "fizzy slush" jumps out.
79
00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:17,840
Yeah, like a mugger.
80
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:22,400
There is a lot of faces on
the manor I don't recognise. Kids.
81
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,760
What are they all doing here? Maybe
there's something wrong with them.
82
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:29,640
What? Maybe they've had flies
on them.
83
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:31,000
Who?
84
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,560
His chops.
85
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,280
Maybe it's a consignment
of condemned meat
86
00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:38,040
from Greater Manchester.
87
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:40,120
I'm talking about the kids, Arthur.
88
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,000
What, the butcher's kids?
89
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,600
Do you think they've done
something to the meat?
90
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:47,080
Maybe they've been seen
coughing on it.
91
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,880
SHOUTING AND GLASS SMASHING
92
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,120
SHOUTING GETS LOUDER
93
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:58,640
Everyone, get into the back room!
What's the matter?
94
00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:00,920
I'm not going in the back room,
I'm having my tea.
95
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:03,800
There's a mob. They're smashing
things up. I'm not shifting.
96
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,680
Which one's the back room?!
97
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,320
Come on!
98
00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:10,400
GLASS SMASHING
99
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:14,360
Sit down in that chair, love.
Shut the door, shut the door.
100
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,800
GLASS SMASHING AND BANGING ON DOOR
101
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,840
Who is it?
102
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,240
BANGING ON DOOR
103
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:28,640
No, thank you.
104
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:35,840
They won't get through. Dad put that
door in. I knew it. I knew it.
105
00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:40,640
The fool! The silly fool!
Did he not know what would happen?
106
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,520
Two chops for the price of one!
107
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,600
That's just asking for trouble.
108
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:48,040
I don't think it's anything to do
with the chops, Arthur.
109
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:52,440
Cheap meat does things to people,
Michael. I know.
110
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:56,240
Are we sure this
is really happening? What?
111
00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,920
How do we know that there
really is a riot?
112
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:00,320
Because of the riot.
113
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,760
BULENT: Move away from the door.
114
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:06,160
What you think you're doing?
Never mind. Just open the door.
115
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:07,560
They're Venetian blinds.
116
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,800
Some of them are quite sharp.
Quick, out of the way.
117
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:13,040
You can't go out there, you idiot.
I'll be fine. No. Please, stop him.
118
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:16,960
No, don't do this. Don't do this.
I'll tell Mum. I will tell Mum.
119
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,760
Bulent, I think Sinem's right.
Mind your business. OK. Oh, my God.
120
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,720
He'll do it. He'll do it.
We have to stop him. Please.
121
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:25,240
Raaargh!
122
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,800
Get off me! I'm doing this
because I like you, Bulent.
123
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,240
Let go of me. I like you, Bulent.
124
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:33,200
I'm doing this because I like you.
125
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:36,080
You can't hold me for ever.
What do I do?
126
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:37,600
We could use some of that.
127
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:44,520
BULENT: Hey, everyone, I'm OK now.
I'm very, very calm.
128
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:49,400
Everything will be fine now.
Sorry about earlier.
129
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:51,560
You can let me go now.
130
00:06:56,560 --> 00:07:01,160
See? I am so calm.
131
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:04,000
You're not angry?
No. Do I look angry?
132
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,880
Hm, you look a bit odd.
133
00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:08,600
That's because he's smiling.
134
00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,600
Why are you smiling?
135
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,760
I'm smiling because I'm calm.
136
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:22,120
Please, my good friends, let me go.
I will not do anything.
137
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,720
I think we'll just leave
things as they are for a bit.
138
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:27,280
Until he stops smiling.
139
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,240
OK, I'm not smiling.
Get me out of this!
140
00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:31,880
Get me out of this!
141
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:33,720
That's worse than the smiling.
142
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,600
Can we turn him to the wall?
143
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,600
SMASHING AND CLATTERING
144
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:41,120
Oh, you hear?
You hear what they are doing?
145
00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,520
Yeah, and it could be you
they're doing it to, you idiot.
146
00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:47,440
Yes, you want to calm down or
you'll be hyperventilating yourself.
147
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,560
We'll have to put a paper bag over
your head. No, no, no. Don't, don't.
148
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:55,440
Should I? No. Sorry, Bulent,
we'll just have to sit it out.
149
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:56,720
Well, it might be a while.
150
00:07:56,720 --> 00:08:00,080
It's kicking off everywhere,
according to Twitter. What?
151
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,560
What are you on about?
He's long gone.
152
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,720
Who?
153
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,200
Hitler.
154
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:13,560
Not Hitler. Twitter. Twitter.
According to Twitter.
155
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:19,480
I have absolutely no idea
what you are on about.
156
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:22,600
The police are saying if you're
in a safe place to stay there.
157
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:25,600
Well, I guess that's all there is
to it. Are you all right, Katya?
158
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:34,560
Why are they doing this?
It's the butcher's kids.
159
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:39,000
They've been coughing on chops
so he's doing them two-for-one
160
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,600
and all this has kicked off.
161
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:45,200
Thanks for that. Oh. No problem.
162
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:50,200
I hope it didn't seem like I was,
you know...
163
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:51,280
What?
164
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,800
A... You know, a...
165
00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:55,920
..a Westerner suppressing him.
166
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:04,280
Listen, I'm a bit
worried about Arthur.
167
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,840
Arthur likes having an audience.
168
00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:10,960
Right? Well, now he's got one.
169
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:15,120
All of us. And we can't leave.
170
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,840
Have you ever seen Arthur perform?
171
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:18,880
Yes.
172
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:25,760
Once he rented the library
and did a little show, you know.
173
00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:29,200
Everyone went.
Well, everyone except Bulent.
174
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:30,920
Trying to be polite, you know.
175
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:34,040
Katya fell asleep so she
missed the worst of it
176
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,280
but we saw all of it.
177
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,360
Listen, you two, it's about Arthur.
178
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:42,560
Yeah, I've told him.
179
00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:44,840
Did you tell him
about the little show?
180
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,600
However bad she says it was,
181
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,880
it was 100 times worse.
182
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:53,280
We've got to keep his mind
on other things, Michael.
183
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,320
We mustn't let him do a little show.
184
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:59,000
For God's sake,
don't let him do a little show.
185
00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:05,800
It's good stuff, this, isn't it?
186
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,640
It's very effective.
187
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,400
How much do you pay
for a roll of that then?
188
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:11,760
?2.50, wholesale.
189
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,520
That's quite reasonable, isn't it?
Yes, it's not bad, actually.
190
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:19,120
My cousin in the market...
Look, just put it back on the shelf!
191
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:22,440
I thought you'd have more food than
this in here. Mind your business.
192
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,200
Leave my shelves alone.
I'm only thinking ahead, Bulent.
193
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,200
I don't know how long
we'll be here, do I?
194
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,400
Anything you eat, you pay for.
Double.
195
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,320
Yes, but surely
in the circumstances,
196
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,360
you'll allow us some
dinner on the house?
197
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,280
I mean,
when I left home this morning
198
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:38,400
I didn't know I'd be involved
in a siege situation, did I?
199
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:39,800
CRASHING
200
00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,720
I don't think we'll
be in here too long. SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE
201
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:47,080
These things tend to flare up and
blow over pretty quickly, don't they?
202
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,000
Well, you're saying that, you know,
203
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,160
but look at
the wooden horse of Troy -
204
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:53,640
that went on for months.
205
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:54,920
It was ten years, actually.
206
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:58,040
They spent ten years
waiting in a horse?
207
00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:02,320
No, no, the siege of Troy lasted ten
years. Or that's how the story goes.
208
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:05,520
There wasn't actually a big wooden
horse that people hid inside.
209
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:07,040
That's a myth.
210
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:08,600
I'm not so sure.
211
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:15,280
You believe in a big wooden horse
full of people but not the Olympics?
212
00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:18,560
Ten years? I'm not
stopping in here for ten years.
213
00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:22,680
What will we do with ourselves? How
will we keep ourselves entertained?
214
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,960
What if...? Arthur,
215
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:30,280
who do you fancy in
the 4:15 at Chepstow? Lucky Madam.
216
00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,000
She's running good, is Lucky Madam.
217
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,360
Let's keep talking about racing.
218
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:38,000
Here. Here's the paper. Have a look
and see who's running tomorrow.
219
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:41,600
All right. Oh, it's a good
line-up tomorrow, actually.
220
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:42,920
Laugh A Minute,
221
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,200
Great Showman,
222
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:46,000
Dancing Dandy,
223
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,640
Stunning Performance,
224
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,320
Under The Spotlight.
225
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:51,680
What about the crossword?
The crossword.
226
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:54,200
Let's do the crossword.
That'll help pass the time.
227
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,440
I suppose we could do the crossword.
I've not seen today's.
228
00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,040
Let's have a look.
229
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:02,240
Oh, you've made
a start on this. Six down.
230
00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:08,920
Major sporting event
of 2012 beginning with O.
231
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:12,080
Well, we know it's not
the Olympics, don't we, Eggy?
232
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,080
So we can rule that out.
233
00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:17,120
Arthur, why don't you
put on a little show?
234
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:23,840
To keep our spirits up like
that one you did in the library.
235
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:27,520
What an absolutely marvellous idea!
236
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,080
What about the crossword, Arthur?
237
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:32,560
Bugger the crossword!
This is much more important.
238
00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:35,360
Singing on the Underground.
We'll Meet Again.
239
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:38,240
A bit of the old Blitz spirit.
That's what's needed here.
240
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:39,600
Isn't that right, Katya?
241
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:40,920
SHE SNORES LOUDLY
242
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:42,200
Right, settle down.
243
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:45,720
Oh, this is going to be great.
244
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,160
I don't want to watch a show.
245
00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:50,760
HE LAUGHS
Oh, very funny, Bulent.
246
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:54,800
Oh, this riot has turned out to be
a blessing in disguise, hasn't it?
247
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,720
Excuse me. Be a man, John.
248
00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,640
For God's sake, be a man.
249
00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,400
Jesus Christ.
250
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:06,680
Superstar.
251
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:09,920
The Sound Of Music.
252
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,160
The Phantom Of The Opera.
253
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,960
Cats, Oliver, Chess.
254
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,120
The King And Me.
255
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:19,120
The Wizard Of Iz.
256
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:23,280
And, of course, who could forget
the world's longest-running musical
257
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:26,040
about a French revolution?
258
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:29,320
Les Miserablies...
259
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:33,400
Ma...mis...mis...lisarablie...
abilies.
260
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:38,120
Mislies...a...ugh...abulous.
261
00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,240
Mrs Arbless? Blism...
262
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:45,080
Mislis...ugh...ugh...
oh...ugh...ARGH...ABLES!
263
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:54,240
Ever since the first caveman howled
at the moon and blew on a flute
264
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:57,840
made out of someone's jawbone,
265
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:01,160
man has always had the urge to sing,
266
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,920
and sing he has,
right up to the present day.
267
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,040
SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE
268
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:09,800
I'd like to do for you now
some of my favourite tunes.
269
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,280
THEY GROAN
270
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:14,320
This short selection of 14 songs...
271
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,120
THEY GROAN
272
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:21,200
..is my gift to you, ending
in a medley of the greatest songs
273
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,200
of Sir Andrew Lord...Lloyd Webber.
274
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:27,880
Hey, do you remember? I was just
about to do that bit in the library
275
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:29,320
when the fire alarm went.
276
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,080
Sorry, what is this?
277
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:38,800
He's going to do a little show
to keep our spirits up. Who is he?
278
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:42,360
He's Count Arthur Strong. He and
my dad used to do a double act.
279
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:43,400
His dad was Max Baker.
280
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,360
WITH RISING INFLECTION:
I'm Michael Baker.
281
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,360
I've done it again!
282
00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:51,960
I used to love Max Baker.
Wow. This could be great.
283
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,440
Like a circle in a spiral
284
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:03,280
Like a wheel within a wheel
285
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:05,320
Never ending or beginning
286
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,080
On an ever-spinning reel
287
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,320
Like a snowball down a mountain
288
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,440
Or a carnival balloon
289
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,520
Like a carousel that's turning
290
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,480
Running rings around the moon
291
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,720
Like a clock
whose hands are sweeping
292
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,760
Past the minutes of its face
293
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,840
And the world is like an apple
294
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,400
Whirling forward...
HE MUMBLES
295
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,360
Like the circles that you find
296
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:29,400
In the windmills of your mind
297
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,200
Keys that jingle in your pocket
298
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:33,400
Words that jangle in your head
299
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,800
Why did summer go so quick?
300
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,080
Was it something that I said?
301
00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:40,120
Lovers walk along the shore
302
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:43,000
And leave their footprints
in the sand
303
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,440
Is the sound of distant drumming
304
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,440
The drumming of your hand?
305
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,760
When she said that it was over
306
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:51,840
You were suddenly aware
307
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:54,520
That the autumn leaves
were turning
308
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:58,680
To the colour of her hair!
309
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:02,120
Like a circle in a spiral
310
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,280
Like a wheel within a wheel
311
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,720
Never ending nor beginning
312
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:09,120
An ever-spinning reel
313
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,800
As the images unwind
314
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,680
Like the circles that you find
315
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:20,160
In the windmills of your mind!
316
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:23,040
HE SOBS
317
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,320
I'm going to go.
318
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:33,440
Take me with you, please. Please. I
don't think you should go out there.
319
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:35,000
I can still hear them milling about.
320
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,040
No, I think I'd like to risk it.
321
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,920
Thank you! Thank you!
322
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,400
And welcome to tonight's show.
323
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,680
I'll be back in a minute. I've just
got to do a costume change.
324
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:48,040
That's like his third song
and he thinks he's just started.
325
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:52,160
No, I'm sorry, I'm going to
slip out. Lock the door behind me.
326
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,960
Goodbye.
May God have mercy on your souls.
327
00:16:58,160 --> 00:16:59,960
SHOUTING AND SMASHING
328
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:01,480
That lucky bastard.
329
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,200
BIG BAND MUSIC
330
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:11,480
OLD WEST MUSIC
331
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,920
JAUNTY MUSIC
332
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,920
CREEPY ORGAN MUSIC
333
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,480
So, I suppose this hasn't
done anything
334
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,200
to change your opinion of music.
335
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:45,040
You know,
I exaggerate that to some extent.
336
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:49,200
My dad was always trying to push me
into things. Music was one of them.
337
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:53,680
Show tunes. He was always
trying to get me to sing.
338
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:58,280
So I...I developed this sort of,
"I hate music," thing.
339
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,680
It's not true. Not really.
340
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:04,000
God, what was that song he was
always trying to get me to do?
341
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,920
One about...
342
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,680
Oh, from the Audrey Hepburn film.
What was it?
343
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:12,360
Oh, I used to love it. Er...
344
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:13,400
Oh, anyway.
345
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,160
Can you believe Katya's
still asleep?
346
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:20,920
You've got to envy that.
347
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:23,880
SHE GIGGLES
348
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:35,040
I reckon there's nobody out there,
you know. Oh, my God!
349
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,400
No, it's just very
convenient that we were
350
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:39,960
talking about the Olympics
and then that happened.
351
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,880
I can hear them out there.
YOU can hear them.
352
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,920
It could be a recording.
353
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,440
It might all be faked,
like the moon landings.
354
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:51,000
Oh, God, Eggy! Come on,
you have to believe in some things
355
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,000
otherwise you just...you go mad.
356
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,640
No, no.
357
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,040
You can't pull the wool
over my eyes.
358
00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:00,640
Last time anyone did that,
I looked quite the fool.
359
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,000
Quite the fool.
360
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,240
And my wife, she... You're married?
361
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:07,880
I was, yes.
362
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,040
I thought we were happy.
363
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:14,320
But that wasn't true.
364
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:20,000
Evening classes,
she said she was doing.
365
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,080
But that wasn't what she was doing.
366
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:26,880
It wasn't that at all.
367
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,240
No, no, no.
368
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,280
Not falling for that again.
369
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,920
Not falling for anything again.
370
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:47,440
And now it's the 1960s!
371
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,960
Oh, this is a duet.
You could do this with me.
372
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,240
I'm not going to sing with you,
Arthur. Oh, go on.
373
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,880
Me and your dad used to do this one.
No. Oh, well, suit yourself.
374
00:19:55,880 --> 00:20:00,000
Ladies and gentlemen, close your
eyes and imagine, if you will,
375
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,240
a young Julie Andrews.
376
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,600
MEDLEY OF SHOW TUNE MUSIC
377
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:29,080
Arthur.
La, da, da-da, da, da-da!
378
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,360
Arthur, please. Please!
379
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:36,200
Arthur, I'm sorry. I'm going
to have to ask you to stop...
380
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:37,720
entertaining everyone.
381
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:41,040
But I've got to
do my Shakespeare yet. What?
382
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,400
Yeah. When I was going to
finish my musical show,
383
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,600
I was going to do
my Shakespeare show.
384
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:49,400
No, I'm sorry, Arthur. I think if you
do Shakespeare someone might die.
385
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:55,200
We're...we're very grateful
though, you know, for...
386
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,080
for keeping our spirits up.
387
00:20:57,080 --> 00:21:00,920
No, we're not! We're not grateful!
You are... Hey!
388
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:03,280
Oh, bravo! Bravo!
389
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:04,560
Thank you, Katya!
390
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:06,320
More! More!
391
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,360
Oh, I couldn't. I couldn't.
392
00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:11,240
Oh, go on then! No!
393
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,720
You see? You see? They hated it!
394
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:14,800
Just shut up!
395
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,960
You made a terrible situation
many times worse.
396
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,640
And that show you put on was
the worst thing I've ever seen!
397
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,040
Hey, listen, it's in my blood,
is show business.
398
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,280
Well, then go and work
in a box office somewhere.
399
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:25,680
Sell ice creams in the interval.
400
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,840
Just stay off the stage.
You don't belong there!
401
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,160
You bring misery to everyone
who sees you perform!
402
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,760
Bulent! No, no, Sinem.
Let him speak his mind.
403
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:36,880
So, which bit didn't you like then?
404
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,480
All of it! All of it!
405
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:41,360
You have no talent. None. That's
why his old man left you behind.
406
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:42,960
Because you have no talent!
407
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,240
SHE GROANS
408
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:51,840
Are you all right, Katya?
My pills. I have to take my pills.
409
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:56,080
Where are they? Out there,
under my table, in the Iceland bag.
410
00:21:56,080 --> 00:22:00,320
Oh, I'm sorry, Katya, but we might
have to wait till all this is over.
411
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:04,480
They're for flatulence. We're going
to get you those pills, Katya.
412
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:09,080
Oh! Hold my hand! Hold my hand!
Oh, God.
413
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,960
Where are you going?
I'm going to get Katya's pills.
414
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:13,840
No, don't you go. I'll go.
415
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:17,480
Don't let go! Oh! It's not
a good idea, Arthur. I'll go.
416
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,760
No, no, no.
You stay where you are, John.
417
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,440
It's been made perfectly clear to me
418
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:25,000
that my presence here has been
at best tolerated.
419
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:29,560
No... No, no. I know where I stand.
420
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,360
I've lived my life.
421
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:36,280
Now step aside, everybody,
if you will,
422
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:40,400
and allow me to retrieve
Katya's flatulence tablets.
423
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:44,840
I may be some time.
424
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:52,880
Oh, well done(!) Oh, very brave(!)
An old man.
425
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:54,600
You, you shouldn't
have let him leave.
426
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:57,480
You shouldn't have said those
things. You could have defended him.
427
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,520
But you didn't. Because you know
I'm right. You all do.
428
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:02,760
He can't sing, he can't dance,
he can't do anything!
429
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,960
And you're conning him
when you kid him otherwise.
430
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,640
KATYA GROANS
All right, all right, all right, Katya.
431
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:09,640
Let's just try
and think of something else.
432
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,800
Just imagine we're not here, not
in a store room. We're in Poland.
433
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:16,040
We're in Krakow with...um...
434
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:17,600
Lech Walesa. No, no!
435
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,160
Donald Sutherland.
436
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,400
I like Donald Sutherland.
437
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,120
OK, in Krakow with Donald Sutherland
438
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:27,080
and you are eating golonka
439
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:30,800
and watching...MASH...the film,
not the food.
440
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:34,160
Oh! So sorry, Katya, I don't
really know much about Poland.
441
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:35,440
I've been to Sweden.
442
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,920
Could you sing to me?
443
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:41,080
I don't really... I'm not...
I don't.
444
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:42,640
SINEM: Here he is!
445
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:46,240
Look what I got.
A pair of pumps and a telly.
446
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,000
Hey, they've still got
the labels on them as well.
447
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,360
Oh, hey, and feel in my pocket.
448
00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:54,080
They're for you.
Did you get my pills?
449
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:55,920
Oh, for crying out loud.
450
00:23:55,920 --> 00:24:00,040
I knew there was something.
Here, hold that, you.
451
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:04,000
I'll be back in a minute now I've
remembered. No, Arthur, don't.
452
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:07,160
BOY: What's in here then? Oh, ho!
Come in here, you. Look at this.
453
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,880
One of the ringleaders, I'll bet.
What are you talking about?
454
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:12,120
I'm not a ringleader
of nothing, man. I'll kill him!
455
00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:14,320
Now, now, Bulent.
Don't go jumping the gun.
456
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:17,320
We haven't asked him
what his demands are yet.
457
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,600
What are your demands?
458
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,240
I haven't got any demands.
459
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:23,720
Well, you're not much
of a ringmaster then, are you?
460
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,600
You smashed up my cafe, my business!
461
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,040
I didn't smash nothing up.
462
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:28,920
I'll smash you. Oh, yeah?
463
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,840
How are you going to do that, bruv?
You're all wrapped up.
464
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,600
Look, I just wanted
a fizzy slush, yeah?
465
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,320
I'll pay for it. Look.
466
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:39,400
SINEM: You like those?
No, my girlfriend loves them.
467
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:40,720
I think they're disgusting.
468
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,720
Aaargh!
469
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:44,880
THEY SHOUT
470
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:52,240
Please, don't... No... Bulent...
Uh...um...
471
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:56,240
Moon River, wider than a mile
472
00:24:56,240 --> 00:25:00,440
I'm crossing you in style someday
473
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:05,080
Oh, dream-maker, you heart-breaker
474
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:09,880
Wherever you're going
I'm going your way
475
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:14,800
TOGETHER: # Two drifters
Off to see the world
476
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:19,600
There's such a lot of world to see
477
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:25,880
We're after the same rainbow's end
478
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:27,920
Waiting round the bend
479
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,680
My huckleberry friend
480
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:38,120
Moon River and me!
481
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:48,960
You people are mental. Who are you?
482
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,280
I'm Michael Baker.
483
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:52,800
Now that's how you say it!
484
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,280
Why are you still in here, anyway?
You know it's all over.
485
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:01,000
Oh, yeah, it was a very quiet when
I was out there. For God's sake.
486
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:04,760
Why didn't you tell us? We can all
leave. Come on, Katya, let's go.
487
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:12,640
Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?
488
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:14,960
Have you seen the state
of the place, mate?
489
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,240
How long have you been here?
490
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,520
Just under an hour.
491
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,720
JOHN: Oh, look at this.
492
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:25,000
Hey, there really was a riot.
493
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:50,240
This story shall the good man
teach his son
494
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:53,280
And Crispin Crispian
will ne'er go by
495
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:56,760
From this day to
the ending of the world
496
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,240
But we in it shall be remember'd
497
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:07,960
We few, we happy few
We band of brothers
498
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:11,040
For he today that
sheds his blood with me
499
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:14,360
Shall be my brother
Be he ne'er so vile
500
00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:17,320
This day shall gentle his condition
501
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:20,640
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
502
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:24,080
Will think themselves accursed
they were not here
503
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,640
And hold their manhoods cheap
whiles any speaks
504
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:31,800
That fought with us
upon Saint Crispin's day.
505
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:35,000
In the windmills of your mind!
506
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,040
BULENT: Oh, look at this!
Look at this!
507
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,880
Hey! The fizzy slush machine's OK!
508
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:58,120
KATYA: My pills!
509
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:04,640
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
510
00:28:04,690 --> 00:28:09,240
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
39554
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof