Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:08,876
( music playing )
2
00:00:11,918 --> 00:00:14,042
( overlapping chattering )
3
00:00:10,333 --> 00:00:12,126
Woman:
Mothers against picketing!
4
00:00:12,168 --> 00:00:13,709
Please sign.
5
00:00:13,751 --> 00:00:15,333
Man:
Free the whales.
6
00:00:15,375 --> 00:00:18,375
Man #2:
Incarcerate the whales.
7
00:00:18,417 --> 00:00:19,542
I gotta--
8
00:00:19,584 --> 00:00:20,917
Okay, whoa.
9
00:00:20,959 --> 00:00:23,126
Man #3:
Gay marriage.
10
00:00:23,168 --> 00:00:25,042
Gay divorce.
11
00:00:25,084 --> 00:00:26,792
Woman #2:
Make petitioning illegal!
12
00:00:29,667 --> 00:00:31,126
Hi, can I help you?
13
00:00:31,168 --> 00:00:32,417
- Hmm.
- Oh!
14
00:00:32,459 --> 00:00:33,459
- The pickles.
- Oh, the pickles.
15
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:34,709
Yeah, those are good.
16
00:00:34,751 --> 00:00:35,792
- There you go.
- Thank you.
17
00:00:35,834 --> 00:00:38,792
Oh, by the way,
I'm giving 50% off Brazilian,
18
00:00:38,834 --> 00:00:41,625
and 75% off Ecuadorians.
19
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,792
- Yeah, no.
- Okay, so, the wax is curdling.
20
00:00:43,834 --> 00:00:45,792
So I've got
to get to it real, real fast.
21
00:00:45,834 --> 00:00:48,625
So if you want to bring your mom,
I can do that.
22
00:00:48,667 --> 00:00:50,792
I love mother and daughter stuff!
23
00:00:50,834 --> 00:00:52,375
Man: Harder.
24
00:00:52,417 --> 00:00:55,542
Mm, really.
I thought I was doing it hard, okay.
25
00:00:55,584 --> 00:00:56,917
Harder.
26
00:00:56,959 --> 00:00:59,959
Well, you are making me
work for it, huh?
27
00:01:00,001 --> 00:01:01,417
Harder.
28
00:01:01,459 --> 00:01:03,834
All right, here I go.
29
00:01:03,876 --> 00:01:05,584
( yelps )
30
00:01:05,625 --> 00:01:09,126
Oh, wow.
That was a good release, wasn't it?
31
00:01:09,168 --> 00:01:12,209
- Okay, all right. That's good.
- ( moaning )
32
00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:15,333
Okay, you know what?
You're gonna need to drink some water.
33
00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:16,500
Lots of it.
34
00:01:16,542 --> 00:01:19,126
What is this?
35
00:01:19,168 --> 00:01:20,834
This is your office.
36
00:01:20,876 --> 00:01:22,542
Bobbie:
Yeah, well, it is now.
37
00:01:22,584 --> 00:01:24,876
You see, the Whole Foods,
they kicked me out
38
00:01:24,917 --> 00:01:27,459
while I was giving detox colonics
39
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:29,625
very close to the soup tureens.
40
00:01:29,667 --> 00:01:31,500
- Oh, my gosh.
- ( man moans )
41
00:01:31,542 --> 00:01:33,042
Is he okay?
42
00:01:33,084 --> 00:01:36,792
- He doesn't seem okay.
- No, he's fine. He's fine, really.
43
00:01:36,834 --> 00:01:38,584
Just relax.
Oh, Wray, here.
44
00:01:38,625 --> 00:01:41,042
You pick yourself out
a spa package.
45
00:01:41,084 --> 00:01:43,876
Bobbie, have you negotiated
the commercial deal?
46
00:01:43,917 --> 00:01:45,042
It shoots tomorrow.
47
00:01:45,084 --> 00:01:46,917
Yeah, you know what?
48
00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,333
That thing needs
a little more work,
49
00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:52,126
and since I am only
a convention booker...
50
00:01:52,168 --> 00:01:54,751
So if you make me
your TV and movie rep,
51
00:01:54,792 --> 00:01:57,250
well, then,
I can give you a hand.
52
00:01:57,292 --> 00:01:58,876
Oh, by the way,
would you give me a hand
53
00:01:58,917 --> 00:02:00,834
and just flip over those links?
54
00:02:00,876 --> 00:02:02,751
Starting to smell
like an orphanage fire.
55
00:02:02,792 --> 00:02:04,250
Is this yours too?
56
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:09,042
Oh, by the way, I have been
hustling for you, sir, yeah.
57
00:02:09,084 --> 00:02:12,917
I have got a hot scoop.
58
00:02:12,959 --> 00:02:15,751
Which coincidentally is a procedure
I had done last June.
59
00:02:15,792 --> 00:02:17,792
- ( moans )
- What is wrong with--
60
00:02:17,834 --> 00:02:19,500
Which one of these did he get?
61
00:02:19,542 --> 00:02:21,834
Can-- can you--
can you feel that?
62
00:02:21,876 --> 00:02:23,917
Is this at all--
can you wiggle your toes?
63
00:02:23,959 --> 00:02:25,542
How about this?
How about this?
64
00:02:25,584 --> 00:02:27,168
Hot grease!
65
00:02:27,209 --> 00:02:30,084
How about this?
Hot grease!
66
00:02:30,126 --> 00:02:32,209
I'm concerned.
67
00:02:32,250 --> 00:02:34,333
What the hell is
the Big Boy Mess?
68
00:02:34,375 --> 00:02:37,333
I happen to know
that the director of the commercial
69
00:02:37,375 --> 00:02:40,292
is also directing
a prestigious drama.
70
00:02:40,333 --> 00:02:42,459
- "Doctor Cop Lawyer."
- Yes, "Doctor Cop Lawyer"!
71
00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:45,792
And I have got the script!
72
00:02:45,834 --> 00:02:46,834
Oh, my God.
73
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,333
Sorry.
74
00:02:49,375 --> 00:02:52,459
There's a great part in there,
Dr. Richard Trimmings.
75
00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:54,042
You'd be the gimpy sidekick.
76
00:02:54,084 --> 00:02:56,959
- "Gimpy sidekick"?
- Yeah, yeah.
77
00:02:57,001 --> 00:02:59,917
- No.
- And he's got a squinting eye.
78
00:02:59,959 --> 00:03:02,375
- Doctor Dick Trimmings.
- Mm-hmm.
79
00:03:02,417 --> 00:03:05,084
- Why are all of his S's TH's?
- Oh, he has a lisp.
80
00:03:05,126 --> 00:03:08,333
No, squinty-eyed,
lisp, limp, that is--
81
00:03:08,375 --> 00:03:10,292
I want to play the lead.
82
00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:12,168
Here we go.
83
00:03:12,209 --> 00:03:16,042
Dr. Officer Blade Slater, Esquire.
84
00:03:16,084 --> 00:03:18,625
Okay, Wray,
you can't play that part.
85
00:03:18,667 --> 00:03:21,417
You see, I've submitted myself
for the female lead
86
00:03:21,459 --> 00:03:24,084
and that would mean
we'd be lovers.
87
00:03:24,126 --> 00:03:28,084
Okay, you submitted yourself
for the 20-something ex-dancer.
88
00:03:28,126 --> 00:03:30,250
Yes, parts of me
are 20-something.
89
00:03:30,292 --> 00:03:33,375
Yeah, thanks to my hot scoop.
90
00:03:33,417 --> 00:03:35,292
Man: Oh, my God.
You're Wray Nerely.
91
00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:37,459
I will see you in Hell.
92
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:40,084
You're seeing it, right now.
This is Hell.
93
00:03:40,126 --> 00:03:42,168
Listen, okay,
whatever it takes.
94
00:03:42,209 --> 00:03:44,917
You're my film agent,
you're my TV agent.
95
00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:47,417
Oh, my God,
I thought you would never say that!
96
00:03:47,459 --> 00:03:48,876
I've been waiting forever!
97
00:03:48,917 --> 00:03:52,042
Why don't I just sign something?
This is too much.
98
00:03:52,084 --> 00:03:54,375
Okay, you know what?
I'm old-fashioned, so, um...
99
00:03:54,417 --> 00:03:56,500
here.
100
00:03:56,542 --> 00:03:58,625
Ow!
101
00:03:58,667 --> 00:03:59,959
- Yeah.
- You drew blood!
102
00:04:00,001 --> 00:04:01,209
Uh huh.
103
00:04:01,250 --> 00:04:02,333
Ouch...
104
00:04:03,584 --> 00:04:05,209
( grunts )
105
00:04:06,959 --> 00:04:10,001
Through this blood,
we are bound.
106
00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:11,042
( thunder cracks )
107
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,876
You know what?
That hurt.
108
00:04:12,917 --> 00:04:16,917
Oh, you have really got to man up
if you're gonna be Doctor Cop Lawyer.
109
00:04:16,959 --> 00:04:19,667
What is "roadside discovery flavor"?
110
00:04:19,709 --> 00:04:22,292
- Ugh.
- Oh, those are Wray's favorite!
111
00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:24,084
- Oh, okay.
- You should buy a few boxes.
112
00:04:24,126 --> 00:04:26,168
Ahh... ooh...
113
00:04:26,209 --> 00:04:28,417
Here you go, Wray.
And Gary's.
114
00:04:28,459 --> 00:04:29,959
Here.
Oh, ow, it's hot.
115
00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:36,500
"Foal prepuce."
116
00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:38,417
Aah!
Pony foreskin?
117
00:04:41,292 --> 00:04:43,333
No, that is not made
with pony foreskin.
118
00:04:43,375 --> 00:04:44,625
That's just the casing.
119
00:04:44,667 --> 00:04:46,792
Plus pig anus.
120
00:04:46,834 --> 00:04:48,126
Aah...
121
00:04:48,168 --> 00:04:50,209
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
122
00:04:53,709 --> 00:04:55,667
A real man
would've swallowed.
123
00:04:58,709 --> 00:05:00,500
Hey, yes.
124
00:05:00,542 --> 00:05:04,667
Look, I read the script.
125
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:09,959
I love it.
I can play Doctor Cop Lawyer.
126
00:05:10,001 --> 00:05:12,459
Jack: You just focus
on the commercial tomorrow.
127
00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:14,084
You know, Diego and I
did "Sea Light" together.
128
00:05:14,126 --> 00:05:16,168
That was the number one movie
five weeks in a row.
129
00:05:16,209 --> 00:05:18,209
Dude, why don't y'all
do a sequel?
130
00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:20,084
Jack: I'm not doing anything
until I do "Spectrum."
131
00:05:20,126 --> 00:05:22,168
That's why I need you
to hit the con circuit,
132
00:05:22,209 --> 00:05:23,709
build a groundswell,
133
00:05:23,751 --> 00:05:26,751
get these fans
all excited and frothy.
134
00:05:26,792 --> 00:05:29,333
( expletive ) Australians.
135
00:05:29,375 --> 00:05:30,917
Frothy, buddy?
136
00:05:30,959 --> 00:05:33,417
They are already froth-- ack.
137
00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:36,834
They're self--
They're self-frothing.
138
00:05:36,876 --> 00:05:39,959
Jack: Look, we are gonna need
to make some noise
139
00:05:40,001 --> 00:05:41,751
if we are gonna
announce this thing
140
00:05:41,792 --> 00:05:43,709
at the biggest con of the year.
141
00:05:43,751 --> 00:05:45,792
- Wray?
- The Shock-A-Con?
142
00:05:45,834 --> 00:05:47,751
Well, we haven't been
invited yet,
143
00:05:47,792 --> 00:05:51,292
but it'd be the perfect place
to announce the project.
144
00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:54,250
Wray: Wow,
that would be great, man.
145
00:05:54,292 --> 00:05:56,542
Hey, you know what, buddy?
I gotta go.
146
00:05:56,584 --> 00:05:59,001
Yeah, I'll--
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
147
00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:05,584
- Faith: Wray...
- Faith: Jack...
148
00:06:05,625 --> 00:06:07,876
Together: I put this letter
where I knew you'd find it.
149
00:06:07,917 --> 00:06:09,584
This isn't easy to say,
150
00:06:09,625 --> 00:06:12,959
but I think it's time
we went our separate ways.
151
00:06:13,001 --> 00:06:15,042
- Please understand this is not personal.
- I want to thank you for reminding me
152
00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:16,459
- I've started slipping into old habits...
- that I've started slipping.
153
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:18,001
The old me would never
have missed a meeting.
154
00:06:18,042 --> 00:06:19,500
...drinking too much, et cetera.
155
00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:21,084
- It's gotten very old
- Yeah, it's very old fashioned
156
00:06:21,126 --> 00:06:22,792
- waking up hung over so often.
- to do this in a letter.
157
00:06:22,834 --> 00:06:24,250
- And I told you my old man
- But you're such an old man
158
00:06:24,292 --> 00:06:25,500
- has a problem himself--
- when it comes to technology.
159
00:06:25,542 --> 00:06:28,292
Oh, come on!
( muttering )
160
00:06:28,333 --> 00:06:32,959
Faith: Today I realized, if I'm ever going
to be more than a personal assistant,
161
00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:35,417
I need to make some changes.
162
00:06:35,459 --> 00:06:37,500
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Faith: Ah, let me see.
163
00:06:37,542 --> 00:06:39,625
Blah, blah, blah,
self-destructive.
164
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:42,209
Blah, blah, blah,
sexual inconsistency.
165
00:06:42,250 --> 00:06:43,876
- Quitting isn't the easiest.
- Wray: What?
166
00:06:43,917 --> 00:06:45,959
- but it is the first.
- So I guess what I'm trying to say
167
00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:48,375
- can be summed up in one word,
- Thank you.
168
00:06:48,417 --> 00:06:49,834
- "over."
- It's over.
169
00:07:20,126 --> 00:07:22,751
One...
170
00:07:22,792 --> 00:07:25,500
two...
171
00:07:25,542 --> 00:07:27,917
three...
172
00:07:27,959 --> 00:07:30,667
four...
173
00:07:30,709 --> 00:07:33,459
five.
174
00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:38,459
"I guess what I'm trying to say
can be summed up in one word,
175
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:39,959
'over.'"
176
00:07:41,792 --> 00:07:43,792
It's not o--
It's not over!
177
00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:46,542
It's not over.
I can get her back.
178
00:07:46,584 --> 00:07:49,084
She's not even gone.
I don't want her back.
179
00:07:49,126 --> 00:07:50,667
( sobs )
180
00:07:52,876 --> 00:07:55,959
She's a bitch.
We know that.
181
00:07:56,001 --> 00:07:59,375
Oh, selfish.
182
00:07:59,417 --> 00:08:01,751
It's me, this is me.
This is what I do.
183
00:08:01,792 --> 00:08:04,459
This is what I do,
and I can take that!
184
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:06,751
I can own that!
185
00:08:06,792 --> 00:08:09,625
Not like you, you're pointing fingers,
you're gonna get fat.
186
00:08:09,667 --> 00:08:12,876
You're gonna get fat, and worse,
you're gonna get...
187
00:08:12,917 --> 00:08:16,333
thick and stout and swollen
with a big butt.
188
00:08:18,042 --> 00:08:20,792
Well, look who came
crawling back.
189
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,584
I had to pick up some stuff
and drop off that letter.
190
00:08:23,625 --> 00:08:26,667
You couldn't text
like an adult?
191
00:08:26,709 --> 00:08:29,042
You didn't finish the letter.
192
00:08:31,001 --> 00:08:32,959
What?
193
00:08:33,001 --> 00:08:34,792
I think, um...
194
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:40,209
"Sexual inconsistency,
so I guess what I'm trying to say
195
00:08:40,250 --> 00:08:44,959
can be summed up
in one word, 'over.'"
196
00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:52,001
Over.
197
00:08:53,001 --> 00:08:55,876
Oh, oh, over.
198
00:08:55,917 --> 00:08:59,959
"And that one word is, 'respect.'"
199
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:06,084
- Okay.
- Respect.
200
00:09:06,126 --> 00:09:08,250
- Nope.
- Look.
201
00:09:08,292 --> 00:09:12,250
Ahh, "still have a future together?"
No.
202
00:09:12,292 --> 00:09:15,459
- What about that sixth--
- Definitely not that.
203
00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:18,001
- I asked for that.
- Uh, no, no, and no.
204
00:09:18,042 --> 00:09:19,584
- Huh?
- No.
205
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:21,625
And... hard no.
206
00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:24,792
Remember...
Okay.
207
00:09:28,876 --> 00:09:30,209
"We're...
208
00:09:36,168 --> 00:09:37,792
Over."
209
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:43,126
Who's in the mood
for some break-up sex?
210
00:09:48,459 --> 00:09:51,834
Dale:
Wray? Hello? Faith?
211
00:09:51,876 --> 00:09:54,876
Ah, are you okay?
I heard crying.
212
00:09:54,917 --> 00:09:57,250
Wasn't me.
213
00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:59,001
Oh, I see.
214
00:09:59,042 --> 00:10:01,042
Here's a bra
I borrowed from you.
215
00:10:01,084 --> 00:10:04,751
Oh, keep it.
Always looked better on you.
216
00:10:04,792 --> 00:10:06,375
Take care of yourself.
217
00:10:09,001 --> 00:10:11,876
- I've fixed your breaker.
- Thank you.
218
00:10:11,917 --> 00:10:16,375
- Wray, you gotta nut up.
- Dale, you gotta--
219
00:10:16,417 --> 00:10:19,375
You gotta nut up.
You gotta get your nuts up.
220
00:10:19,417 --> 00:10:20,625
Hey.
221
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:27,209
I did a stunt in this skirt
222
00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:31,001
for the movie "The Pitfall Gamble,"
223
00:10:31,042 --> 00:10:33,168
doubling Beatrice Taylor.
224
00:10:33,209 --> 00:10:36,084
Rode a horse off a train
into a barn fire.
225
00:10:36,126 --> 00:10:39,168
No.
No.
226
00:10:39,209 --> 00:10:41,542
The train and the barn fire
227
00:10:41,584 --> 00:10:44,333
weren't even in the stunt.
228
00:10:44,375 --> 00:10:47,500
I spent nine weeks
in the hospital.
229
00:10:47,542 --> 00:10:50,459
The thing is, life hurts, Wray.
230
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:54,876
Woman leaves you,
you feel the pain, right?
231
00:10:54,917 --> 00:10:56,917
Good.
Stand on that pain.
232
00:10:56,959 --> 00:11:01,084
You can see further, reach higher,
grab something you want.
233
00:11:01,126 --> 00:11:04,834
Your balls are in the salsa.
234
00:11:04,876 --> 00:11:07,542
'Cause that's what I want.
235
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:10,834
Right now,
I want to get up, go home,
236
00:11:10,876 --> 00:11:13,834
and towel off my scrote.
237
00:11:13,876 --> 00:11:17,042
I never pegged you
for a habanero guy.
238
00:11:17,084 --> 00:11:20,001
I've always liked the extra spicy.
239
00:11:20,042 --> 00:11:22,584
Why am I tasting garlic?
240
00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:24,792
I don't--
I don't know.
241
00:11:24,834 --> 00:11:28,667
Why don't you go home, Dale?
Towel off your scrote.
242
00:11:33,001 --> 00:11:37,542
I don't want to hear
any more crying from you, okay?
243
00:11:37,584 --> 00:11:41,250
Life gives you broken bones, Wray.
244
00:11:41,292 --> 00:11:43,625
Uh, oh...
245
00:11:43,667 --> 00:11:45,333
No, Dale.
246
00:11:45,375 --> 00:11:48,250
- Dale!
- Don't swaddle them in bandages...
247
00:11:48,292 --> 00:11:50,417
- Dale!
- and coddle them...
248
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:52,834
- What are you doing?
- in plaster.
249
00:11:52,876 --> 00:11:54,709
Stop-- be careful!
250
00:11:54,751 --> 00:11:57,584
- Your suffering is the...
- What are you doing?
251
00:11:57,625 --> 00:12:00,001
- best part of you!
- Jesus.
252
00:12:00,042 --> 00:12:01,500
Push!
253
00:12:01,542 --> 00:12:03,667
Through the pain.
254
00:12:03,709 --> 00:12:07,667
And you'll get everything in life
you've ever wanted.
255
00:12:09,417 --> 00:12:10,709
( gasps )
256
00:12:12,959 --> 00:12:14,667
( expletive )
257
00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:17,250
Jesus!
258
00:12:17,292 --> 00:12:19,292
( music playing )
259
00:12:19,342 --> 00:12:23,892
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
18471
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof