Original subtitles

Meanwhile, on "Con Man"...

There is a doll convention?

I'm in the wrong hotel!

- No, I'm in the right hotel. - You're here for the sci-fi convention?

The gay thing, it's an act to bring in the ladies!

From "Serenity". It was a great tv show.

Well... "Serenity" was the movie.

- The television show was "Firefly". - That's good stuff.

Kekokekokekokei!

- Hello... beautiful. - Hello... beautiful.

Con Man - Episode 6 - "Fluid Thing"

sync and corrections by sadako415 www.addic7ed.com

No, no, no, no...

Look, she's the only woman under 60 in the hotel

carrying around a baby doll.

No, she's not a child. She's a woman.

Did you see Battlestar Galactica?

Yeah, the new one...

She looks just like that hot, hot cylon.

No, the other one.

The other one...

The other one.

The other one.

The other one.

No, that... no...

She was a cylon?

Oh, right...

It got really confusing in the later seasons...

Listen, it doesn't matter. I just need to send her a bottle of wine

to apologize for insulting the memory of her dead baby.

Hello? Did you... Hello?

- No service. No serv... - What...

Why aren't you ready?

We've got that meeting with that action figure guy.

- You have a key to my room? - I overpacked.

You stored things in my closet?

I didn't know what costume I was gonna wear for the contest,

so I brought backup.

Oh, good... Here it is.

- Hold this. - Oh, Jesus...

Hold it, please.

- What the hell is this? - Oh, I don't know...

You have an alien in my closet?

Yeah, well... I'm sure there's other things in there too we don't know about.

What are you getting into costume now for?

What? Just Bobbie looking like Bobbie.

I'd say you're Bobbie looking like Luis Guzman.

Oh, I see... You're upset!

Because I have two suitors and you have none.

Alright, Sean Maher's gay.

Leslie Jordan is...

He's gay. I mean, he might be bicurious,

- bi-unlikely. - Wray...

Sexuality is a fluid thing.

A viscous translucent fluid...

Whose smell is largely dictated

- by its diet. - So glad I haven't eaten.

Wray? It's Leslie.

Leslie, hey...

- Hey. - I need to talk to you about your manager.

Me?

Well look at you...

Look at us...

Hey, what is your...

Political persuasion?

I'm just wondering...

Well I am...

Totally liberal.

My mind is so open that I'm afraid shit's gonna fall out of it when I bend over.

And I love...

The gays.

Oh, I don't love the gays...

Oh, you don't?

I...

- They make me very angry! - Yeah...

Where do you guys get off besides on each other's backs?

Well, I...

A gay...

Stand in front of you mocking

your impotent authority!

Yet I am strangely attracted...

What am I saying? I...

Just meet me!

In the hotel bar...

Six o'clock...

So I can just understand how...

Oh boy, yes...

My levee is just about to burst...

Your levee gonna burst!

- Like Katrina... Oh, that's awful! - That's alright.

- I like bad! - You're awful!

You're awful!

Goddamn!

Goodbye?

I could hear everything you were saying.

Everything.

Levees about to break?

Leslie...

Hey... Wray...

- Hey, Sean. - Hi.

I need to talk to you about your manager.

Who, me?

Hello...

How are you?

Hmm, just hangin'...

Congratulations again

on your win last night.

Did I mention how...

Courageous...

I think you are?

You can say it again.

It is scary...

To be extraordinary.

Most people try and hide that part of themselves...

But you... you embrace your true self.

In the face...

Of enormous...

Opposition.

- You are... - Horny.

Courageous.

These are amazing.

Are they... Are they new?

Used.

You bought...

Pre-owned...

- Bra... Tits. - Tits.

Doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter...

I see the real you.

The one inside.

I mean, the one outside is great...

Too. I see a...

A beautiful woman, with a...

Cute little moustache...

And ample used...

Boobs. But...

It is the person

Inside...

That I have to see tonight.

How about 7?

Meet me at the hotel bar.

Alright.

Goodbye?

Wray, you're gonna have to meet with that action figure...

Guy on your own. I've gotta shave.

Do not use my razor!

- Does this razor work on armpits? - No!

Do you have another razor?

- Ron Slackskin? - There he is!

In person!

It's really weird. Because this...

Looks exactly like you.

- Well that's great. Can I see it? - Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But first...

This...

Is a true action figure.

- Okay... - It has an action arm.

So you push a button on its back,

and it slams its hand down!

I'll see you in hell!

- It says that? - No, I just...

Say that when it does it.

- I'll see you in hell! - Okay...

I'll see you in hell!

- You... you keep saying it. Stop saying it. - I'll see you in hell! Oh, sorry.

Can I see it?

Yeah...

People kept asking me why

I made this figure.

They bring up your coloring,

the worst selling G.I. Joe figure in history.

Ginger Joe.

- Code name, Sunstroke. - Yeah, he came with a like...

A floppy hat and a...

- A mole checking kit. - Yes. No, I...

Owned one. It also came with a gun.

And some sunscreen.

Well, the doll that I made you...

Is awesome.

Manly.

Thank you. I can't wait to see it.

Well, I'm nervous for you to see it.

You don't like it.

This is amazing.

Are you kidding me?

- Ron! - Really?

You are an artist!

Oh, come on...

Oh, my god...

Oh, my god!

It looks just like...

He comes with a gun, and a knife!

And his arm...

I will see you in hell!

Yeah! There you go!

Now look, that one is yours.

Unbelievable!

You get 100 bucks for every one you sign,

I made 1000...

And we've had insane presales.

Holy shit...

That's amazing!

So, I'll see you at my booth. We start signing in 20 minutes.

Okay, I will see you there,

or in hell!

That's good.

Wow...

Well, hello there, mister!

- Handsome! - Thank you very much.

Nice to meet you. My name is Wray.

My name is Wray,

Wray Wray.

Your name is Wray Wray?

Yes, that is a my name.

I'm a now kiss you on the face.

Wow. Where are you from? You have an accent.

Yes, I was born in Japan.

That's not a Japanese accent.

Uh, you want a cookie?

You want something to eat? Are you hungry? You've been in your box...

Ah poo I don't want this!

It's nasty to me!

It's a store bought bullshit cookie!

I want something from the set of a big budget movie!

We'll get there.

You're number one actor.

You will have everything in life.

You'll have money.

- Yeah? - Yes!

Better cookies...

Yes!

And women. Women, women!

Women all the time!

I like... I like women.

Yes...

- Oh, hi... - Is that an action figure of you?

Yeah...

That's hot.

Wray Wray...

Ladies and gentlemen, step right up

to see the oddity,

to see the freak of nature,

Mr. Wray Nerely!

Come get your signed autograph action figure

of Cash!

Can't hear now...

Okay... Hi everybody!

I will see you in hell!

- I think Ron here has really outdone himself. - Yes.

- Thank you. - Thank you, Ron. Look at that face.

I named mine Wray Wray...

Wray Wray, you want to say anything to everybody?

I'm shy...

Yes, protect me from too many people...

It's strange in groups...

Okay...

Okay, who here...

Wants to adopt one of their own?

We have 3 left.

- What? - Well, all of these presold online.

No, look... Just sell them to the people

Who are here!

Yeah, but...

The people online already bought them for a premium.

We have... Oh, wait another sale...

We have one left...

Nope, sold out.

How about the one you're holding?

I'll pay a premium for it.

No, no...

No, this one is mine.

700 bucks?

700 bucks. 700, 700...

725, 725... who's gonna go 7...

750, 750...

You, down there, over there, that wizard man...

Alright, 800! 825, I'm jumping to 900...

- Stop! Stop this, Bobbie, stop. - 900! I'm jumping to 925...

This is not gonna happen, no. I'm...

I'm not selling.

1000 dollars for it!

He is not an it!

And he's mine.

Get out of my way. Louise...

Louise! Excuse me...

Louise! Lou...

- Louise! - Alright...

1000 dollars to the man in green!

- Thank you very much! Enjoy! - Somebody bought that action figure already.

That one got lost in the mail.

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