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1
00:00:17,375 --> 00:00:18,943
Previously on Call Me Fitz.
2
00:00:18,945 --> 00:00:21,979
Ken's not my real father?
3
00:00:21,981 --> 00:00:24,048
Just because he
donated some ball paste
4
00:00:24,050 --> 00:00:25,082
doesn't make him my old man.
5
00:00:25,084 --> 00:00:26,416
But he did offer
you a job and you
6
00:00:26,418 --> 00:00:27,718
have accepted.
7
00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:28,652
I'm getting tingles.
8
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:29,386
Brother and sister.
9
00:00:29,388 --> 00:00:30,320
Father and son.
10
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:31,788
Mr. Fitzpatrick.
11
00:00:31,790 --> 00:00:33,223
Let's stick with Fitz.
12
00:00:33,225 --> 00:00:34,625
The family united.
13
00:00:34,627 --> 00:00:36,293
The circle of life.
14
00:00:36,295 --> 00:00:38,562
This is not Fitzpatrick Motors.
15
00:00:38,564 --> 00:00:40,631
Maybe not, but it will be.
16
00:00:40,633 --> 00:00:42,999
A feast for your eyeballs.
17
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,369
(gasps)
18
00:00:45,371 --> 00:00:46,669
There is nothing
you could do to
19
00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:47,570
make me fire you son.
20
00:00:47,572 --> 00:00:48,972
Nothing.
21
00:00:48,974 --> 00:00:51,307
You have a chance
to make billions.
22
00:00:51,309 --> 00:00:53,442
To do something really special.
23
00:00:53,444 --> 00:00:56,112
You need to face
the music sober.
24
00:00:56,114 --> 00:00:59,182
Who's the man of the hour?
25
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,449
I've been trying
to turn the heads of
26
00:01:00,451 --> 00:01:02,518
the Kobyashi Investment
group for months.
27
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,420
Guess who contacted the Omo?
28
00:01:04,422 --> 00:01:06,589
Father!
29
00:01:06,591 --> 00:01:07,956
They're flying in
tomorrow and Richard is
30
00:01:07,958 --> 00:01:10,426
going to get them on board.
31
00:01:10,428 --> 00:01:11,694
(laughs)
32
00:01:11,696 --> 00:01:14,730
Father is not who
you think he is.
33
00:01:14,732 --> 00:01:17,300
Every bad thing that
has ever happened to
34
00:01:17,302 --> 00:01:18,601
the Fitzpatricks.
35
00:01:20,270 --> 00:01:22,204
All Father.
36
00:01:22,206 --> 00:01:25,207
These came in for you, son.
37
00:01:25,209 --> 00:01:32,547
(
)
38
00:01:36,084 --> 00:01:40,188
(
Nutcracker )
39
00:01:40,190 --> 00:01:41,456
Merry Christmas!
40
00:01:41,458 --> 00:01:42,691
Shut the fuck up!
41
00:01:44,092 --> 00:01:47,696
'Twas the night before,
the night before Fitzmas,
42
00:01:47,698 --> 00:01:49,897
and all through the house
43
00:01:49,899 --> 00:01:53,301
A secret unearthed
by a doctor named Klaus.
44
00:01:53,303 --> 00:01:57,338
Revealed Richard's father
was not who he knew,
45
00:01:57,340 --> 00:02:01,943
which is why Ken engaged
in a tipple or two.
46
00:02:01,945 --> 00:02:04,946
And now this poor father
had only one heir.
47
00:02:04,948 --> 00:02:06,080
and the one that remained...
48
00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:07,514
Uh uh uh!
49
00:02:07,516 --> 00:02:10,451
was not quite all there.
50
00:02:10,453 --> 00:02:14,054
Compounding Ken's pain
was his not so young wife,
51
00:02:14,056 --> 00:02:15,723
who declared it was time
52
00:02:15,725 --> 00:02:16,790
So long fuckers.
53
00:02:16,792 --> 00:02:19,426
to get on with her life.
54
00:02:19,428 --> 00:02:22,095
And even the fixer
had left Ken alone.
55
00:02:22,097 --> 00:02:25,832
being too busy finding
a fix of his own.
56
00:02:25,834 --> 00:02:28,835
But one truth above all
had made Ken's heart sink,
57
00:02:28,837 --> 00:02:33,907
for the son he once knew
had abandoned the drink.
58
00:02:33,909 --> 00:02:37,143
And so sat young Richard,
all snug in his bed,
59
00:02:37,145 --> 00:02:42,114
as visions of O-Mo
danced in his head.
60
00:02:42,116 --> 00:02:45,150
At last Ken's boy took on
the life I had dreamed,
61
00:02:45,152 --> 00:02:48,388
but suddenly all was not
quite as it seemed.
62
00:02:48,390 --> 00:02:51,524
For somewhere inside of me,
vibrant and strong
63
00:02:51,526 --> 00:02:53,926
was a horrible feeling.
64
00:02:53,928 --> 00:02:56,929
Could I have been wrong?
65
00:02:56,931 --> 00:03:02,167
(
)
66
00:03:02,169 --> 00:03:08,307
Without you
I'd find my smile
67
00:03:08,309 --> 00:03:13,512
Without you
I'd'a won by a mile
68
00:03:13,514 --> 00:03:19,317
Without you
Oh life would be so grand
69
00:03:19,319 --> 00:03:24,255
Without you I'm half a man
70
00:03:24,257 --> 00:03:35,216
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
71
00:03:42,641 --> 00:03:44,608
Ho ho ho motherfuckers.
72
00:03:44,610 --> 00:03:46,844
Kwanzika came early
for Joshy this year.
73
00:03:48,413 --> 00:03:51,449
How the frankincense
can I fail auto shop?
74
00:03:51,451 --> 00:03:53,216
I've made a horrible discovery.
75
00:03:53,218 --> 00:03:54,318
We must remain calm.
76
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:55,185
Zip it.
77
00:03:55,187 --> 00:03:56,119
Both of you.
78
00:03:56,121 --> 00:03:57,455
I'm going over
my Christmas list.
79
00:03:57,457 --> 00:03:59,022
FYI, you're getting me a pony,
80
00:03:59,024 --> 00:04:01,124
but I didn't hear that!
81
00:04:01,126 --> 00:04:03,293
I am a wolf in
sheep's clothing.
82
00:04:03,295 --> 00:04:04,794
In trying to make Richard good,
83
00:04:04,796 --> 00:04:07,197
I have driven him into
the clutches of evil.
84
00:04:07,199 --> 00:04:09,232
Oh oh, speaking of evil,
which one of you inbreds
85
00:04:09,234 --> 00:04:10,133
is going to babysit Justin?
86
00:04:10,135 --> 00:04:11,435
Not it!
87
00:04:11,437 --> 00:04:13,270
You're abandoning
your son on Christmas?
88
00:04:13,272 --> 00:04:15,605
Family tradition, Lar.
89
00:04:15,607 --> 00:04:16,974
Mama's gonna get
all nogged up and
90
00:04:16,976 --> 00:04:18,675
make some mistakes.
91
00:04:18,677 --> 00:04:19,909
But what about Richard?
92
00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:21,444
We need to save him
from the evil clutches
93
00:04:21,446 --> 00:04:22,645
of Pat Childs!
94
00:04:22,647 --> 00:04:24,080
Relax, Lar.
95
00:04:24,082 --> 00:04:26,483
Every Christmas Fitz and I
get high, watch Scarface,
96
00:04:26,485 --> 00:04:29,586
and then pig out
on House of Chan.
97
00:04:29,588 --> 00:04:31,120
Hey, bestie!
98
00:04:31,122 --> 00:04:33,756
Time to blaze in
some Christmas cheer.
99
00:04:33,758 --> 00:04:35,257
Mandatory drug
testing at the O.
100
00:04:35,259 --> 00:04:37,126
I can't risk my sweet payday.
101
00:04:37,128 --> 00:04:38,627
You.
102
00:04:38,629 --> 00:04:39,661
Sober.
103
00:04:39,663 --> 00:04:40,796
That's hilarious.
104
00:04:40,798 --> 00:04:42,231
Ever wonder if there's
a reason you can't
105
00:04:42,233 --> 00:04:44,166
graduate, Josh?
106
00:04:44,168 --> 00:04:45,368
Every day dude.
107
00:04:45,370 --> 00:04:46,568
Richard.
108
00:04:46,570 --> 00:04:47,736
You can't leave your
family on Christmas.
109
00:04:47,738 --> 00:04:48,770
I'm not.
110
00:04:48,772 --> 00:04:50,473
In fact I'm headed
over there right now.
111
00:04:50,475 --> 00:04:51,940
We need to address
your psychological --.
112
00:04:51,942 --> 00:04:53,509
Whatever it is, I'm on it.
113
00:04:53,511 --> 00:04:55,677
No Richard -
you are?
114
00:04:56,946 --> 00:04:59,447
I shoulda made these
changes a long time ago.
115
00:04:59,449 --> 00:05:02,718
You were right,
cock pup - Larry.
116
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,954
(
)
117
00:05:05,956 --> 00:05:08,456
(sighs)
118
00:05:08,458 --> 00:05:23,905
(
Oh Christmas Tree
instrumental
)
119
00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:25,640
Seriously?
120
00:05:25,642 --> 00:05:27,307
You paid the guy from
the Leb food joint
121
00:05:27,309 --> 00:05:30,377
to say you were dead?
122
00:05:30,379 --> 00:05:31,445
Well, you got me here.
123
00:05:31,447 --> 00:05:33,113
What's the fucking emergency?
124
00:05:35,150 --> 00:05:37,552
Lainey, oh sweet Lainey.
125
00:05:38,654 --> 00:05:41,121
I can see it all
so clearly now.
126
00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:42,957
Smells like you're
seeing it in double.
127
00:05:42,959 --> 00:05:44,891
I never shoulda used
our wedding to
128
00:05:44,893 --> 00:05:46,093
show up my brother.
129
00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:47,794
You got me to come
here to tell me
130
00:05:47,796 --> 00:05:49,496
shit I already know?
131
00:05:49,498 --> 00:05:52,332
I want to start again.
132
00:05:52,334 --> 00:05:54,000
I'm gonna turn this
joint into the
133
00:05:54,002 --> 00:05:56,437
class-A shithole it
deserves to be.
134
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:58,072
Jesus, it's like a
things-I-don't-give-
135
00:05:58,074 --> 00:06:01,041
a-flying-fuck-
about-a-thon.
136
00:06:01,043 --> 00:06:03,009
It's that no good bastard son.
137
00:06:03,011 --> 00:06:05,045
That's what was
fucking up our lives.
138
00:06:05,047 --> 00:06:08,314
Now that he's gone,
we got a clean slate.
139
00:06:08,316 --> 00:06:09,049
We?
140
00:06:09,051 --> 00:06:09,883
You'n me.
141
00:06:11,052 --> 00:06:13,086
Like back in the day.
142
00:06:13,088 --> 00:06:14,420
You think I'd want
to go back in
143
00:06:14,422 --> 00:06:16,489
business with you?
144
00:06:16,491 --> 00:06:18,324
Why the fuck not?!
145
00:06:18,326 --> 00:06:21,160
I said I'm -- whatever
the fuck it is you say
146
00:06:21,162 --> 00:06:24,863
when you're not
going to do it again.
147
00:06:28,034 --> 00:06:29,668
You want to know
what's really been
148
00:06:29,670 --> 00:06:32,271
fucking up all our
miserable lives?
149
00:06:32,273 --> 00:06:34,073
Not just our son.
150
00:06:34,075 --> 00:06:36,174
Go look in the mirror.
151
00:06:36,176 --> 00:06:38,711
If it looks like a Fitzpatrick,
152
00:06:38,713 --> 00:06:40,679
you got your answer.
153
00:06:58,831 --> 00:06:59,897
Fuck.
154
00:07:03,936 --> 00:07:06,537
We are on the cusp, Richard.
155
00:07:06,539 --> 00:07:08,205
The culmination
of decades worth of
156
00:07:08,207 --> 00:07:10,041
research and development.
157
00:07:10,043 --> 00:07:11,275
A car wash?
158
00:07:11,277 --> 00:07:13,377
The O-cinerator.
159
00:07:13,379 --> 00:07:16,147
It doesn't just
destroy used cars.
160
00:07:16,149 --> 00:07:18,783
It repurposes them into
low-carbon emitting fuel
161
00:07:18,785 --> 00:07:21,418
for the O-mobiles.
162
00:07:21,420 --> 00:07:24,155
This is your ticket to
ride the money train?
163
00:07:24,157 --> 00:07:25,556
Just the icing on the
164
00:07:25,558 --> 00:07:28,692
proverbial oatcake, Son.
165
00:07:28,694 --> 00:07:31,762
Ok, I have no idea what
you're talking about.
166
00:07:31,764 --> 00:07:33,631
We're taking the
company public.
167
00:07:33,633 --> 00:07:35,366
I plan to announce our
initial public offering
168
00:07:35,368 --> 00:07:37,134
on Christmas day.
169
00:07:37,136 --> 00:07:38,469
An IPO.
170
00:07:38,471 --> 00:07:40,303
A license to print
money for yourself.
171
00:07:40,305 --> 00:07:42,605
You mean, ourselves.
172
00:07:42,607 --> 00:07:44,675
I'll be introducing
you as our new VP,
173
00:07:44,677 --> 00:07:45,976
Richard Childs.
174
00:07:45,978 --> 00:07:47,844
What's the catch?
175
00:07:47,846 --> 00:07:48,979
Do you consider being
the new face of
176
00:07:48,981 --> 00:07:50,280
O-Mo a catch?
177
00:07:50,282 --> 00:07:54,685
You'll be a rock star
by New Year, Richard.
178
00:07:54,687 --> 00:07:57,587
Let me show you how it works.
179
00:07:59,923 --> 00:08:01,591
You don't happen
to have something
180
00:08:01,593 --> 00:08:02,758
metal handy?
181
00:08:07,731 --> 00:08:08,731
Ah.
182
00:08:13,636 --> 00:08:15,838
(zap)
183
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,873
What the fuck?
184
00:08:17,875 --> 00:08:20,609
You don't need that anymore.
185
00:08:27,483 --> 00:08:28,650
Ali?
186
00:08:28,652 --> 00:08:29,984
You know what I'm looking at?
187
00:08:29,986 --> 00:08:33,154
Me. Fitz.
188
00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:36,291
I'm finally hitting
the big time.
189
00:08:36,293 --> 00:08:38,594
All legit and shit.
190
00:08:38,596 --> 00:08:39,961
Hell, if this works out,
our kid's gonna be
191
00:08:39,963 --> 00:08:41,430
wearing gold diapers.
192
00:08:41,432 --> 00:08:43,064
Please leave a message.
193
00:08:43,066 --> 00:08:44,032
(beep)
194
00:08:45,300 --> 00:08:46,300
Fuck.
195
00:08:47,803 --> 00:08:49,403
It's me, Fitz.
196
00:08:49,405 --> 00:08:50,739
Call me back.
197
00:08:55,978 --> 00:08:57,045
No booze...
198
00:08:57,047 --> 00:08:58,412
I can do this.
199
00:09:07,522 --> 00:09:17,765
(
Dance of the
Sugar Plum Fairy
)
200
00:09:17,767 --> 00:09:32,512
(ethereal moans and groans)
201
00:09:32,514 --> 00:09:36,015
I am your ghostly
guide through this
202
00:09:36,017 --> 00:09:38,718
yuletide afterlife.
203
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:39,919
Josh?
204
00:09:39,921 --> 00:09:42,522
A fucking ghost?
205
00:09:44,024 --> 00:09:45,525
When the fuck did you die?
206
00:09:45,527 --> 00:09:48,295
I didn't, I'm
just super-baked.
207
00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:49,796
Smoked the rest of
your Christmas bowl,
208
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:51,563
things got loco.
209
00:09:51,565 --> 00:09:55,401
Anyways, here, yes, ok.
210
00:09:57,971 --> 00:10:03,109
You will be visited
by three goats.
211
00:10:03,111 --> 00:10:04,844
And a horny dude.
212
00:10:06,947 --> 00:10:08,314
That's not right.
213
00:10:09,649 --> 00:10:11,249
Whatever, just listen
for the horn dude.
214
00:10:11,251 --> 00:10:13,786
(loud old fashioned horn)
215
00:10:14,854 --> 00:10:18,824
Oooh, ye shit be going down.
216
00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:20,526
It's on.
217
00:10:20,528 --> 00:10:25,430
(poofing sound and
ethereal groaning)
218
00:10:28,201 --> 00:10:30,969
You're still here.
219
00:10:30,971 --> 00:10:34,039
Or am I?
220
00:10:34,041 --> 00:10:40,878
(laughs and moans)
221
00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:42,213
(horse neigh)
222
00:10:54,159 --> 00:10:55,626
Hey, Mr. Fitz.
223
00:10:55,628 --> 00:10:57,194
Sonja?
224
00:11:00,465 --> 00:11:04,668
I always loved you
in that apron.
225
00:11:04,670 --> 00:11:06,703
I'm the ghost of
Christmas past.
226
00:11:06,705 --> 00:11:07,637
You're dead?
227
00:11:07,639 --> 00:11:09,439
Milking accident.
228
00:11:09,441 --> 00:11:10,540
Don't ask.
229
00:11:10,542 --> 00:11:13,543
Well I never had sex
with a ghost before.
230
00:11:15,980 --> 00:11:18,782
Just showing you who's boss.
231
00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:23,553
Fuck me.
232
00:11:23,555 --> 00:11:25,622
Maybe, but first
a little journey.
233
00:11:25,624 --> 00:11:27,724
Middle school, 1982.
234
00:11:27,726 --> 00:11:29,659
Little Tommy Shitsack.
235
00:11:29,661 --> 00:11:31,127
I remember that kid.
236
00:11:31,129 --> 00:11:33,029
His mom was my teacher.
237
00:11:33,031 --> 00:11:35,464
She gave me an F that one time.
238
00:11:35,466 --> 00:11:38,034
And you decided to beat
him up because of it.
239
00:11:40,670 --> 00:11:41,371
So?
240
00:11:41,373 --> 00:11:42,772
I was a dick.
241
00:11:42,774 --> 00:11:44,173
I've been a dick my whole life.
242
00:11:44,175 --> 00:11:45,574
Repent, repent, repent.
243
00:11:45,576 --> 00:11:46,609
Don't worry about it.
244
00:11:46,611 --> 00:11:48,911
I've already changed.
245
00:11:48,913 --> 00:11:51,280
Actually, he deserved it.
246
00:11:51,282 --> 00:11:53,682
He was a d-bag.
247
00:11:53,684 --> 00:11:55,250
But because of you
beating him up,
248
00:11:55,252 --> 00:12:00,088
he became a good,
ambitious person.
249
00:12:00,090 --> 00:12:01,390
Grew up to be President.
250
00:12:01,392 --> 00:12:02,625
You're shitting me.
251
00:12:02,627 --> 00:12:06,461
Of Bob's Big House
of Futons, but still.
252
00:12:06,463 --> 00:12:10,399
Your badness, Mr. Fitz,
resulted in
253
00:12:10,401 --> 00:12:11,934
something good.
254
00:12:13,869 --> 00:12:15,637
Now, watch this --
255
00:12:18,207 --> 00:12:19,141
Hey, that's us.
256
00:12:19,143 --> 00:12:20,642
Christmas inventory
two years ago.
257
00:12:20,644 --> 00:12:21,910
Shh. Pay attention.
258
00:12:21,912 --> 00:12:25,447
Mr, Fitz, I am not
sleeping with you
259
00:12:25,449 --> 00:12:26,981
in order to get that promotion.
260
00:12:26,983 --> 00:12:28,049
What's the lesson here?
261
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:30,217
Sexual harassment is bad?
262
00:12:30,219 --> 00:12:32,987
Fitzy's open to negotiation.
263
00:12:32,989 --> 00:12:35,590
Nope, I just remembered
it was a really great
264
00:12:35,592 --> 00:12:37,224
hair day --
265
00:12:37,226 --> 00:12:39,860
And, it was also
the day you taught me
266
00:12:39,862 --> 00:12:42,330
how to be a businesswoman.
267
00:12:42,332 --> 00:12:49,803
(
Joy to the World )
268
00:12:49,805 --> 00:12:52,073
That's not all I
taught you that day.
269
00:12:52,075 --> 00:12:57,544
(
)
270
00:12:57,546 --> 00:12:59,245
You know, Fitzy may have
laid off the sauce,
271
00:12:59,247 --> 00:13:02,683
but he'll never say
no to the cherry.
272
00:13:02,685 --> 00:13:04,351
Not so fast.
273
00:13:04,353 --> 00:13:06,920
There's one last thing
I need you to see.
274
00:13:06,922 --> 00:13:08,589
It's up to you Fitz.
275
00:13:08,591 --> 00:13:12,125
Get a life or take it
someplace else.
276
00:13:12,127 --> 00:13:13,626
Turn it off.
277
00:13:13,628 --> 00:13:14,927
I don't need
the re-run.
278
00:13:14,929 --> 00:13:15,895
I caught it the first time.
279
00:13:15,897 --> 00:13:17,397
Shhh.
280
00:13:17,399 --> 00:13:19,065
You're going to ruin it.
281
00:13:19,067 --> 00:13:23,569
Wait for it, wait for it.
282
00:13:23,571 --> 00:13:26,639
And there!
283
00:13:26,641 --> 00:13:27,840
You see that?
284
00:13:27,842 --> 00:13:29,509
That's the face of
someone who is about to
285
00:13:29,511 --> 00:13:33,112
change their life
for the better.
286
00:13:33,114 --> 00:13:34,914
Everybody needs
an a-hole to
287
00:13:34,916 --> 00:13:36,682
set them straight.
288
00:13:39,553 --> 00:13:41,554
She may not be able to
be with you right now,
289
00:13:41,556 --> 00:13:45,624
but she is grateful for
what you gave her.
290
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,194
(sighs)
291
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,363
Now that is true love.
292
00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:54,400
Why do I get the feeling
this isn't going to
293
00:13:54,402 --> 00:13:55,567
lead to sex?
294
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,437
(bell ding)
295
00:14:06,211 --> 00:14:07,579
Fuck sobriety.
296
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:15,686
You gonna pack it in
just like that, asswipe?
297
00:14:16,755 --> 00:14:20,691
Once a pussy, always a pussy.
298
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:28,332
(
)
299
00:14:32,537 --> 00:14:41,478
(
Good King Wenceslas )
300
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:42,646
Another Berry Breezer.
301
00:14:42,648 --> 00:14:44,381
But this time, give it a shot
302
00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:46,784
of bourbon.
303
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:48,185
Paula!
304
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:49,786
The only one who will
understand my plight.
305
00:14:49,788 --> 00:14:51,688
S'up, Lar-bear?
306
00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:54,724
Paula, have you ever
done the right thing
307
00:14:54,726 --> 00:14:58,061
only to find out
it's the wrong thing?
308
00:14:58,063 --> 00:15:02,566
No, but I have recently
done the wrong thing
309
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,667
and it felt really,
really right.
310
00:15:04,669 --> 00:15:09,973
Oh... well I, Larry,
believe I may have
311
00:15:09,975 --> 00:15:11,440
been wrong.
312
00:15:11,442 --> 00:15:13,743
Instead of helping
Richard all these years,
313
00:15:13,745 --> 00:15:15,778
I've been hurting him.
314
00:15:15,780 --> 00:15:17,747
Luring him to the light side,
315
00:15:17,749 --> 00:15:19,281
when really its the dark side,
316
00:15:19,283 --> 00:15:21,383
where your father lurks.
317
00:15:21,385 --> 00:15:23,085
Light side, dark side.
318
00:15:23,087 --> 00:15:25,053
It's just like Christmas.
319
00:15:25,055 --> 00:15:26,555
Bullshit.
320
00:15:26,557 --> 00:15:28,924
Paula, you need to help me help
321
00:15:28,926 --> 00:15:30,426
your brother.
322
00:15:30,428 --> 00:15:32,894
Give me the keys to your
father's evil lair.
323
00:15:32,896 --> 00:15:34,130
I will show Richard the truth.
324
00:15:34,132 --> 00:15:35,531
You've got to
get up pretty early
325
00:15:35,533 --> 00:15:38,967
in the morning
to get ol' Paula...
326
00:15:38,969 --> 00:15:41,569
something --
bird -- worm.
327
00:15:43,339 --> 00:15:45,140
I gotta pee.
328
00:15:45,142 --> 00:15:54,249
(
Good King Wenceslas )
329
00:15:54,251 --> 00:15:55,383
Oh, tampon!
330
00:16:02,158 --> 00:16:03,324
Sorry Paula.
331
00:16:09,198 --> 00:16:10,798
Let's do this.
332
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,767
Good man.
333
00:16:12,769 --> 00:16:15,703
Now let's make sure the
shoe is shiny when you
334
00:16:15,705 --> 00:16:17,204
put your best foot forward.
335
00:16:17,206 --> 00:16:19,606
Off to your hair and
make-up consult to
336
00:16:19,608 --> 00:16:21,742
let your inner Childs glow.
337
00:16:21,744 --> 00:16:23,510
Wait!
338
00:16:23,512 --> 00:16:24,745
Easy, friend.
339
00:16:24,747 --> 00:16:26,513
What's the trouble?
340
00:16:26,515 --> 00:16:27,714
You!
341
00:16:27,716 --> 00:16:29,483
You were wrong Richard,
about me being right.
342
00:16:29,485 --> 00:16:30,350
And he.
343
00:16:30,352 --> 00:16:31,652
He is not right.
344
00:16:31,654 --> 00:16:32,519
He is wrong.
345
00:16:32,521 --> 00:16:34,087
Very, very wrong.
346
00:16:34,089 --> 00:16:37,224
Pat Childs has been secretly
plotting to usurp your family
347
00:16:37,226 --> 00:16:41,895
for years and years and
years and I have proof.
348
00:16:41,897 --> 00:16:44,430
(cackles)
349
00:16:44,432 --> 00:16:46,933
Come on come on come on.
350
00:16:46,935 --> 00:16:48,868
To the secret lair!
351
00:16:50,771 --> 00:16:51,671
Behold!
352
00:16:51,673 --> 00:16:54,340
Larry, this is not a sage idea.
353
00:16:54,342 --> 00:16:56,342
You bet your bippy
it's not a sage idea.
354
00:16:56,344 --> 00:16:59,579
Enough of your holiday
hoodwinkery, good sir!
355
00:16:59,581 --> 00:17:00,113
Look...
356
00:17:00,115 --> 00:17:00,946
Upon...
357
00:17:00,948 --> 00:17:02,047
The...
358
00:17:02,049 --> 00:17:04,684
Evil!
359
00:17:04,686 --> 00:17:06,151
What the?
360
00:17:06,153 --> 00:17:07,520
I don't understand.
361
00:17:07,522 --> 00:17:11,657
Is this the evil that
you're looking for Larry?
362
00:17:11,659 --> 00:17:13,792
I had everyone at O-MO
working around the clock
363
00:17:13,794 --> 00:17:15,695
making festive ornaments.
364
00:17:15,697 --> 00:17:16,862
For the disabled.
365
00:17:16,864 --> 00:17:18,330
The homeless.
366
00:17:18,332 --> 00:17:19,531
The orphaned.
367
00:17:19,533 --> 00:17:22,367
You happy,
Saint Dick-olas?
368
00:17:22,369 --> 00:17:25,170
It never ends with this guy.
369
00:17:31,177 --> 00:17:33,745
I know what you're
doing here, mister.
370
00:17:33,747 --> 00:17:35,380
I'm doing what's
best for my son.
371
00:17:35,382 --> 00:17:37,815
Well some say teaching
people to better themselves
372
00:17:37,817 --> 00:17:41,453
is more important than
telling them what to do.
373
00:17:41,455 --> 00:17:42,820
True.
374
00:17:42,822 --> 00:17:44,989
But I always remember what
a tribal elder told me
375
00:17:44,991 --> 00:17:47,492
after I had saved his entire
village from the ravages
376
00:17:47,494 --> 00:17:49,427
of Hurricane Ian.
377
00:17:49,429 --> 00:17:50,394
Have you ever done that, Larry?
378
00:17:50,396 --> 00:17:52,463
That's not the point.
379
00:17:52,465 --> 00:17:53,597
He told me that the
fool spends his days
380
00:17:53,599 --> 00:17:55,532
changing others.
381
00:17:55,534 --> 00:18:00,171
The wise man changes himself.
382
00:18:00,173 --> 00:18:03,507
Are you calling me a fool?
383
00:18:03,509 --> 00:18:04,842
You can't beat me, Larry.
384
00:18:04,844 --> 00:18:06,777
It's unpossible.
385
00:18:06,779 --> 00:18:08,945
That's not even a word.
386
00:18:08,947 --> 00:18:10,714
Exactly.
387
00:18:10,716 --> 00:18:11,715
Security.
388
00:18:12,817 --> 00:18:15,185
Could you assist
this gentleman?
389
00:18:15,187 --> 00:18:18,155
He's looking to see
something in an exit door.
390
00:18:18,157 --> 00:18:19,657
Oh, Pat Childs!
391
00:18:29,533 --> 00:18:32,869
Your T-zone needs
damage control.
392
00:18:32,871 --> 00:18:33,937
Get you're fucking
hands off the goods
393
00:18:33,939 --> 00:18:35,338
Stephen Hawking.
394
00:18:35,340 --> 00:18:37,040
Fine.
395
00:18:37,042 --> 00:18:41,844
Look like a
dehydrated alcoholic.
396
00:18:41,846 --> 00:18:44,647
Mmmmm, I'm in a wheelchair.
397
00:18:44,649 --> 00:18:45,381
That guy.
398
00:18:45,383 --> 00:18:47,116
Oooh, huffers!
399
00:18:47,118 --> 00:18:48,851
Stop fucking around.
400
00:18:48,853 --> 00:18:51,153
Right, ok, back to business.
401
00:18:51,155 --> 00:18:54,557
You'll now be visited
by your second goat.
402
00:18:54,559 --> 00:18:57,326
Who will come bearing presents.
403
00:18:57,328 --> 00:19:00,996
Or does he want a present.
404
00:19:00,998 --> 00:19:04,399
Dammit now I have to write
a letter to Santy Claus.
405
00:19:04,401 --> 00:19:08,437
(
applause and cheering )
406
00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:09,205
What the fuck?!
407
00:19:13,676 --> 00:19:15,109
Hey everybody welcome
to The Gray Zone,
408
00:19:15,111 --> 00:19:17,412
this is Melody Gray,
Ghost of Christmas Present.
409
00:19:17,414 --> 00:19:19,314
Have we ever got a
treat for you today,
410
00:19:19,316 --> 00:19:21,616
we have got an exclusive
interview with
411
00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:23,785
everybody's favourite
dead beat dad,
412
00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:25,420
Richard Fitzpatrick.
413
00:19:25,422 --> 00:19:29,357
(crowd cheering)
414
00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:30,524
Richard and I have
quite the past.
415
00:19:30,526 --> 00:19:31,625
I didn't fuck him
while I was alive,
416
00:19:31,627 --> 00:19:33,694
so I'm really gonna
fuck him now.
417
00:19:33,696 --> 00:19:35,864
(crowd laughter)
418
00:19:35,866 --> 00:19:37,298
Now you're talking.
419
00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:38,666
Cause I could get
stiff for a stiff
420
00:19:38,668 --> 00:19:39,633
that looked like you.
421
00:19:39,635 --> 00:19:41,602
(crowd oohs)
422
00:19:41,604 --> 00:19:42,603
No no, lookit everybody
423
00:19:42,605 --> 00:19:44,805
Richard is about to find out
424
00:19:44,807 --> 00:19:45,906
what a fuckup he really is,
425
00:19:45,908 --> 00:19:47,307
and I'm about to score myself
426
00:19:47,309 --> 00:19:49,276
a Daytime Emmy.
427
00:19:49,278 --> 00:19:50,644
Roll the clip.
428
00:19:56,885 --> 00:19:58,586
Will this gas tank
withstand the
429
00:19:58,588 --> 00:20:00,888
tarsecs necessary
for the Goron run?
430
00:20:00,890 --> 00:20:02,689
For two bucks it will.
431
00:20:02,691 --> 00:20:04,958
We're standing outside
Fitzpatrick Motors
432
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,526
where family patriarch,
Ken Fitzpatrick
433
00:20:06,528 --> 00:20:10,931
attempts to erase all
traces he ever had a son.
434
00:20:10,933 --> 00:20:13,633
That fucksack is
selling all my stuff.
435
00:20:13,635 --> 00:20:14,534
My Dexter Lane records!
436
00:20:14,536 --> 00:20:15,502
My Hugo Boss!
437
00:20:15,504 --> 00:20:17,371
My panty ball!
438
00:20:17,373 --> 00:20:19,005
Without hate,
Ken has no identity.
439
00:20:19,007 --> 00:20:21,073
He's changing,
and so is Elaine.
440
00:20:21,075 --> 00:20:22,975
The only thing those two
cancer-prunes are changing
441
00:20:22,977 --> 00:20:25,044
are their diapers.
442
00:20:25,046 --> 00:20:27,947
We take you live to the scene.
443
00:20:29,216 --> 00:20:32,552
Thank you so much
for watching the baby.
444
00:20:32,554 --> 00:20:33,620
I had to get out.
445
00:20:33,622 --> 00:20:34,654
You know what it's like.
446
00:20:34,656 --> 00:20:39,392
We certainly do.
447
00:20:39,394 --> 00:20:41,027
Since when does Elaine
give a shit about
448
00:20:41,029 --> 00:20:43,396
baby what's-his-nuts?
449
00:20:43,398 --> 00:20:45,998
Fitz has bigger
problems on the horizon.
450
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,168
Without him there to inspire
Elaine's nefarious scams,
451
00:20:49,170 --> 00:20:52,137
she is forced
to look elsewhere.
452
00:20:52,139 --> 00:20:55,373
So she finds herself
a new business partner.
453
00:20:55,375 --> 00:20:56,809
Who's up for champers?
454
00:20:56,811 --> 00:20:58,777
Ooh. A little bubbly
to seal the deal.
455
00:20:58,779 --> 00:20:59,945
That's right ladies.
456
00:20:59,947 --> 00:21:02,047
My mother and Foxley?!
457
00:21:03,850 --> 00:21:04,817
Oh fuck.
458
00:21:08,354 --> 00:21:09,821
Forgive me.
459
00:21:09,823 --> 00:21:11,222
It didn't work anyway.
460
00:21:11,224 --> 00:21:13,658
Tis the season to
be a fucking failure.
461
00:21:13,660 --> 00:21:15,026
Take it from me.
462
00:21:15,028 --> 00:21:17,628
The solution to all
of your problems is in
463
00:21:17,630 --> 00:21:19,864
the bottom of a shot glass.
464
00:21:19,866 --> 00:21:22,467
You wanna understand
a Fitzpatrick,
465
00:21:22,469 --> 00:21:25,770
you gotta become a Fitzpatrick.
466
00:21:25,772 --> 00:21:28,606
But, but I am a Fitzpatrick.
467
00:21:28,608 --> 00:21:29,941
- ish.
468
00:21:29,943 --> 00:21:35,446
Then tuck in your lady balls
and embrace your roots --.
469
00:21:37,850 --> 00:21:41,118
And enter the
belly of the beast.
470
00:21:47,225 --> 00:21:50,560
What I do now, I do for you,
471
00:21:50,562 --> 00:21:52,363
Richard Fitzpatrick.
472
00:21:52,365 --> 00:21:56,300
In order to save you,
I must become you.
473
00:21:58,569 --> 00:22:02,706
Ok, one does not simply
suckle the she-wolfs teet
474
00:22:02,708 --> 00:22:06,376
without tasting the sting
of her sickly sweet cream.
475
00:22:06,378 --> 00:22:08,177
May whatever crucified
hobo you worship
476
00:22:08,179 --> 00:22:10,514
have mercy on your soul.
477
00:22:17,954 --> 00:22:18,954
Cheers.
478
00:22:20,124 --> 00:22:22,025
Hey! AHH!
479
00:22:22,027 --> 00:22:23,926
Another round.
480
00:22:23,928 --> 00:22:25,661
Drunk Larry.
481
00:22:25,663 --> 00:22:26,629
And he's putting
it on your tab.
482
00:22:26,631 --> 00:22:28,364
That's a big oopsie, fuck head.
483
00:22:28,366 --> 00:22:29,499
You're sobriety has
turned your conscience
484
00:22:29,501 --> 00:22:30,866
into a drunk.
485
00:22:31,968 --> 00:22:33,702
Care to comment?
486
00:22:39,042 --> 00:22:41,076
Don't be alarmed.
487
00:22:41,078 --> 00:22:44,446
I was just staring at you
while you slept.
488
00:22:44,448 --> 00:22:47,049
They say the eyes are
the windows to the soul,
489
00:22:47,051 --> 00:22:52,421
but the eyelids are the
curtains to those windows.
490
00:22:52,423 --> 00:22:53,821
Good news, sleepy head.
491
00:22:53,823 --> 00:22:56,991
We've just had an offer to
expand the O-Mo into Asia
492
00:22:56,993 --> 00:22:58,893
for the launch tomorrow.
493
00:22:58,895 --> 00:23:00,262
What?
494
00:23:00,264 --> 00:23:04,198
Oh, right, ya, giddy up.
495
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,301
Your face will be beamed
live on five continents.
496
00:23:07,303 --> 00:23:08,736
But I need your help.
497
00:23:08,738 --> 00:23:10,872
Taking our campaign
international
498
00:23:10,874 --> 00:23:12,774
is a huge risk.
499
00:23:12,776 --> 00:23:14,308
We need to make a statement.
500
00:23:14,310 --> 00:23:19,047
Burn the past to blaze
a trail into the future.
501
00:23:23,385 --> 00:23:24,518
I got this.
502
00:23:27,355 --> 00:23:29,756
I had Grandma Alice's
car towed in.
503
00:23:29,758 --> 00:23:31,758
Betsy.
504
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:36,297
My memories of this old
clunker are far from fond,
505
00:23:36,299 --> 00:23:37,831
but they are the very
things that set me
506
00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:40,467
on a course to
change the world.
507
00:23:40,469 --> 00:23:44,037
That's why we're
going to destroy it.
508
00:23:44,039 --> 00:23:48,341
All this time you've
been selling the sizzle,
509
00:23:48,343 --> 00:23:50,777
you need to give
them the steak.
510
00:23:50,779 --> 00:23:52,545
People don't want
a concept of the future.
511
00:23:52,547 --> 00:23:55,748
They want to see it in action.
512
00:23:55,750 --> 00:23:57,783
Something they can
sink their teeth into.
513
00:23:57,785 --> 00:23:59,586
Leave some bread
crumbs, Richard,
514
00:23:59,588 --> 00:24:02,255
for I have a hard
time following.
515
00:24:02,257 --> 00:24:04,790
Take a one of a kind
vintage classic,
516
00:24:04,792 --> 00:24:08,495
and stick it in your
incinerator thing
517
00:24:08,497 --> 00:24:11,030
and show the world what
the O-Mo is all about.
518
00:24:11,032 --> 00:24:16,002
Trading in your shitty past
for a top shelf future.
519
00:24:18,605 --> 00:24:19,972
That's my boy.
520
00:24:26,746 --> 00:24:28,380
Hello, house.
521
00:24:28,382 --> 00:24:30,949
Hey, anybody home?
522
00:24:30,951 --> 00:24:32,351
Suck it.
523
00:24:32,353 --> 00:24:34,886
Hi lampy.
524
00:24:34,888 --> 00:24:37,356
Hi arm chair.
525
00:24:37,358 --> 00:24:38,190
Hello... dildo.
526
00:24:39,526 --> 00:24:41,527
Oh so soft.
527
00:24:41,529 --> 00:24:43,995
You have all betrayed me.
528
00:24:43,997 --> 00:24:45,030
Especially you.
529
00:24:45,032 --> 00:24:48,466
With your puppy dog eye.
530
00:24:48,468 --> 00:24:49,634
Box.
531
00:24:52,271 --> 00:24:54,806
You are the only one
who never betrayed me.
532
00:24:54,808 --> 00:24:58,109
The only one that who
really tried to help me.
533
00:24:58,111 --> 00:25:00,878
I can become
a real Fitzpatrick.
534
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,181
Oh look, more alcohol.
535
00:25:03,183 --> 00:25:04,982
What's that Boxie?
536
00:25:04,984 --> 00:25:09,387
When your best friend whose
psyche you've manifested from,
537
00:25:09,389 --> 00:25:13,591
abandons you, there's only
one thing you can do?
538
00:25:13,593 --> 00:25:17,728
Watch your grandma's
porno film.
539
00:25:17,730 --> 00:25:19,629
Belly of the beast.
540
00:25:21,365 --> 00:25:25,302
Ok boxie, here we go.
541
00:25:25,304 --> 00:25:29,807
Whatever it takes.
542
00:25:29,809 --> 00:25:32,409
Spread em or I'll shoot.
543
00:25:32,411 --> 00:25:37,046
Oh I'll spread em,
but you better call
544
00:25:37,048 --> 00:25:42,985
for back up, cause this
is a three man job.
545
00:25:46,090 --> 00:25:51,660
(fast forward moaning)
546
00:25:51,662 --> 00:26:26,894
(
Carol of the Bells )
547
00:26:26,896 --> 00:26:32,967
(
Oh Christmas Tree )
548
00:26:32,969 --> 00:26:34,335
Grandma Alice?
549
00:26:38,006 --> 00:26:40,975
Welcome my dear
Fitzpatrick Family,
550
00:26:40,977 --> 00:26:42,743
to my last will and testament.
551
00:26:42,745 --> 00:26:48,348
Ding Donggggggg
552
00:26:48,973 --> 00:26:59,303
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
553
00:26:59,353 --> 00:27:03,903
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
37033
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