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1
00:00:12,736 --> 00:00:14,604
Previously on Call Me Fitz.
2
00:00:14,606 --> 00:00:15,572
Where the fuck
are all the cars?
3
00:00:15,574 --> 00:00:17,907
They were repossessed.
4
00:00:17,909 --> 00:00:19,241
All you've ever
done is fuck me.
5
00:00:19,243 --> 00:00:20,710
I fucked you?
6
00:00:20,712 --> 00:00:23,079
You you you,
you love each other.
7
00:00:23,081 --> 00:00:24,481
I think Richard is
acting up because
8
00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:25,647
he feels abandoned.
9
00:00:25,649 --> 00:00:28,050
By his mother, his
father, his son,
10
00:00:28,052 --> 00:00:29,818
and now you leaving
makes it worse.
11
00:00:29,820 --> 00:00:31,787
Ya, ya what he said.
12
00:00:32,856 --> 00:00:34,390
Someone on this strip
is trying to
13
00:00:34,392 --> 00:00:36,625
fuck our dealership.
14
00:00:36,627 --> 00:00:38,660
Mr. Childs told me
that he's Ken's
15
00:00:38,662 --> 00:00:40,395
long lost brother?
16
00:00:42,298 --> 00:00:46,869
I could have been
Mrs. Pat Childs.
17
00:00:46,871 --> 00:00:49,170
(manic laughter)
18
00:00:49,172 --> 00:00:51,373
Well fuck me.
19
00:00:51,375 --> 00:00:53,108
If you were plowing
her with Burbon Sours
20
00:00:53,110 --> 00:00:54,709
then that means you...
21
00:00:54,711 --> 00:00:56,777
Fucking proposed?
22
00:00:56,779 --> 00:00:58,213
Oh ya...
23
00:00:58,215 --> 00:00:59,247
No european country
prohibits marriage
24
00:00:59,249 --> 00:01:01,216
between first cousins.
25
00:01:01,218 --> 00:01:03,151
We are not doing shit
until you tell me why
26
00:01:03,153 --> 00:01:04,886
your brother is here.
27
00:01:04,888 --> 00:01:08,289
I think it's time we
told everyone the truth.
28
00:01:08,291 --> 00:01:10,958
Richard, I am your real father.
29
00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:12,960
You gotta be
fucking kidding me.
30
00:01:12,962 --> 00:01:16,296
So that means Paula is...
31
00:01:16,298 --> 00:01:18,265
My sister.
32
00:01:29,076 --> 00:01:30,076
Wait a second,
33
00:01:30,078 --> 00:01:33,446
so Ken's not my real father?
34
00:01:33,448 --> 00:01:38,018
(crowd gasps and twitters)
35
00:01:38,020 --> 00:01:40,620
When people lose something,
they find ways to
36
00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:42,221
fill the void.
37
00:01:42,223 --> 00:01:44,590
Sometimes with a
business opportunity.
38
00:01:44,592 --> 00:01:47,427
Who needs a son when
daddy's got game.
39
00:01:47,429 --> 00:01:48,294
Come on, fuckers!
40
00:01:48,296 --> 00:01:52,831
(
)
41
00:01:52,833 --> 00:01:54,967
Sometimes with therapy.
42
00:01:54,969 --> 00:01:57,937
This is all the family I need.
43
00:01:57,939 --> 00:02:02,608
(
)
44
00:02:02,610 --> 00:02:05,010
And sometimes with
a pathetic attempt
45
00:02:05,012 --> 00:02:07,512
to make up for lost time.
46
00:02:10,516 --> 00:02:13,652
My father -
our father would like
47
00:02:13,654 --> 00:02:15,287
to offer you a job.
48
00:02:15,289 --> 00:02:16,354
You tell douche beard he can't
49
00:02:16,356 --> 00:02:19,057
buy his way into my life.
50
00:02:19,059 --> 00:02:21,079
We'd start you at
120,000 Richard.
51
00:02:21,199 --> 00:02:24,262
And it would give us a
chance to work together,
52
00:02:24,264 --> 00:02:26,465
as brother and sister.
53
00:02:28,534 --> 00:02:31,403
In case you change your mind.
54
00:02:31,405 --> 00:02:34,438
But somewhere along the way,
he'll be faced with a choice
55
00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:36,941
that will define who
he is as a man.
56
00:02:36,943 --> 00:02:39,711
Get off my property.
57
00:02:39,713 --> 00:02:41,746
Real men stick to
their guns and find
58
00:02:41,748 --> 00:02:43,615
their own path.
59
00:02:43,617 --> 00:02:47,151
Real men know if you
play your cards right,
60
00:02:47,153 --> 00:02:49,687
the world is your oyster.
61
00:02:51,756 --> 00:02:52,590
(car horn)
62
00:02:52,592 --> 00:02:55,526
You're a fuckin loser Fitz.
63
00:02:55,528 --> 00:02:56,494
Fuck.
64
00:02:57,629 --> 00:03:02,566
(
)
65
00:03:02,568 --> 00:03:08,739
Without you
I'd find my smile
66
00:03:08,741 --> 00:03:13,877
Without you
I'd'a won by a mile
67
00:03:13,879 --> 00:03:19,883
Without you
Oh life would be so grand
68
00:03:19,885 --> 00:03:24,654
Without you I'm half a man
69
00:03:24,656 --> 00:03:35,421
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
70
00:03:43,040 --> 00:04:11,917
(
Sad jazzy horn music )
71
00:04:12,203 --> 00:04:14,170
What the fuck do you want?
72
00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:18,555
The secret is heart.
73
00:04:19,434 --> 00:04:30,485
(
)
74
00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:35,272
Oh my god, the hot
dog is right.
75
00:04:36,226 --> 00:04:38,294
Maggie.
76
00:04:41,597 --> 00:04:44,266
(hammering)
77
00:04:44,268 --> 00:04:45,233
Ok, Richard, is this
78
00:04:45,235 --> 00:04:46,944
really necessary?
79
00:04:47,064 --> 00:04:49,132
Get off my ass,
felchy-smurf.
80
00:04:49,252 --> 00:04:50,218
Every time your mother
81
00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:51,318
abandons the family,
82
00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:52,220
you tend to --
83
00:04:52,222 --> 00:04:53,687
Not want to talk about it.
84
00:04:53,689 --> 00:04:54,688
Don't don't look
at this as a loss,
85
00:04:54,690 --> 00:04:56,157
look at it as a gain.
86
00:04:56,159 --> 00:04:57,391
Now you got two daddys.
87
00:04:57,393 --> 00:04:59,127
Who are both lying
sacks of shit.
88
00:04:59,129 --> 00:05:00,561
Face it, the dealership's done.
89
00:05:00,563 --> 00:05:01,695
Richard, you've worked your
90
00:05:01,697 --> 00:05:03,430
whole life to build
this dealership.
91
00:05:03,432 --> 00:05:04,965
What are you going
to do for money?
92
00:05:04,967 --> 00:05:05,999
Don't worry your
freakishly-shaped
93
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,234
head over it.
94
00:05:07,236 --> 00:05:08,101
Fitzy's got a plan
to put us back
95
00:05:08,103 --> 00:05:09,637
on easy street.
96
00:05:12,707 --> 00:05:14,675
Fuck! There's gotta
be something
97
00:05:14,677 --> 00:05:16,843
worth pawning in this shithole.
98
00:05:16,845 --> 00:05:18,979
S'up?
99
00:05:18,981 --> 00:05:19,913
What are you doing?
100
00:05:19,915 --> 00:05:21,114
Looking for the cat.
101
00:05:21,116 --> 00:05:23,183
We do not have a cat.
102
00:05:23,185 --> 00:05:24,651
And mystery solved.
103
00:05:24,653 --> 00:05:25,952
You are welcome.
104
00:05:25,954 --> 00:05:26,987
You want to look for something,
105
00:05:26,989 --> 00:05:29,923
look for something I can sell.
106
00:05:29,925 --> 00:05:32,592
Oh hey, what about this?
107
00:05:32,594 --> 00:05:33,426
Never.
108
00:05:33,428 --> 00:05:34,494
That is a priceless memory of
109
00:05:34,496 --> 00:05:35,595
Richard's father.
110
00:05:35,597 --> 00:05:37,163
Ex-father,
dick-drool.
111
00:05:37,165 --> 00:05:39,064
Yeah, Larry.
112
00:05:39,066 --> 00:05:40,132
Wait a minute.
113
00:05:40,134 --> 00:05:41,033
If Ken isn't your
father then that
114
00:05:41,035 --> 00:05:42,435
means that we are.
115
00:05:42,437 --> 00:05:43,536
Friends, Josh.
116
00:05:43,538 --> 00:05:45,938
I knew it, you big
tall bastard.
117
00:05:45,940 --> 00:05:47,573
Legacy is not about blood,
118
00:05:47,575 --> 00:05:49,108
it's about nurturing.
119
00:05:49,110 --> 00:05:50,610
Think of Grandma Alice.
120
00:05:50,612 --> 00:05:52,344
She faced adversity,
and yet found
121
00:05:52,346 --> 00:05:54,546
triumph and she even
managed to give back
122
00:05:54,548 --> 00:05:56,315
with philanthropic pursuits.
123
00:05:56,317 --> 00:05:57,283
Look!
124
00:05:57,285 --> 00:05:58,984
She gave all her
money to A. A.!
125
00:06:03,456 --> 00:06:04,857
Josh, you're a fucking genius.
126
00:06:04,859 --> 00:06:06,192
Yeah I know, right.
127
00:06:06,194 --> 00:06:07,059
Wait, why?
128
00:06:07,061 --> 00:06:08,227
Betsy.
129
00:06:08,229 --> 00:06:09,294
The car that made
me fall in love
130
00:06:09,296 --> 00:06:12,030
with everything.
131
00:06:13,766 --> 00:06:16,368
She must be worth
a mint by now.
132
00:06:16,370 --> 00:06:17,936
We gotta track Betsy down.
133
00:06:17,938 --> 00:06:20,004
How do you plan on
doing that, Mr.?
134
00:06:20,006 --> 00:06:20,772
Don't worry.
135
00:06:20,774 --> 00:06:22,106
I got a guy.
136
00:06:23,643 --> 00:06:24,843
Foxley Classics.
137
00:06:24,845 --> 00:06:25,844
Get your blast from the past,
138
00:06:25,846 --> 00:06:26,477
with no money down.
139
00:06:26,479 --> 00:06:27,611
Foxley?
140
00:06:27,613 --> 00:06:29,580
This is your lucky day.
141
00:06:29,582 --> 00:06:31,015
Fitz?
142
00:06:31,017 --> 00:06:32,217
I don't think so.
143
00:06:32,219 --> 00:06:33,484
I need you to track down my
144
00:06:33,486 --> 00:06:34,819
first love Foxley.
145
00:06:34,821 --> 00:06:35,920
Betsy.
146
00:06:35,922 --> 00:06:37,722
She's a '52 Elwood Classic.
147
00:06:37,724 --> 00:06:38,923
Well, well.
148
00:06:38,925 --> 00:06:39,991
Look who's come crawling back
149
00:06:39,993 --> 00:06:41,292
on his hands and
knees, huh Fitz?
150
00:06:41,294 --> 00:06:43,026
Isn't that your
go-to position?
151
00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:44,528
I'll take that as a compliment.
152
00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,497
Still know how to
charm a girl, I see.
153
00:06:46,499 --> 00:06:47,598
Look, find the car,
154
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:48,499
I'll kick you a finder's fee.
155
00:06:48,501 --> 00:06:49,533
Five bills.
156
00:06:49,535 --> 00:06:50,735
A grand.
157
00:06:50,737 --> 00:06:51,435
C'mon, Foxley.
158
00:06:51,437 --> 00:06:52,336
Seven-fifty.
159
00:06:52,338 --> 00:06:53,504
For old time's sake.
160
00:06:53,506 --> 00:06:55,105
For old time's sake?
161
00:06:55,107 --> 00:06:56,073
Why didn't you say so.
162
00:06:56,075 --> 00:06:57,174
Twelve hundred.
163
00:06:57,176 --> 00:06:58,008
Fuck.
164
00:06:58,010 --> 00:06:59,142
Fine.
165
00:06:59,144 --> 00:07:00,744
A grand it is but I
want it by noon.
166
00:07:00,746 --> 00:07:03,113
Deal.
167
00:07:05,649 --> 00:07:07,050
Foxley...
168
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:14,391
(
)
169
00:07:14,393 --> 00:07:16,626
Still got it, old man.
170
00:07:16,628 --> 00:07:18,227
Some of it, anyway.
171
00:07:24,468 --> 00:07:25,835
Maggie Murphy.
172
00:07:28,205 --> 00:07:31,673
Yeah, I put on a few years.
173
00:07:32,776 --> 00:07:34,176
Unlike you.
174
00:07:34,178 --> 00:07:36,178
Oh, tell that to my tits.
175
00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:39,481
If they're talking,
I'm listening.
176
00:07:41,751 --> 00:07:43,719
We had some crazy times, huh?
177
00:07:43,721 --> 00:07:45,321
Yeah.
178
00:07:45,323 --> 00:07:47,390
Streaking through the casino.
179
00:07:47,392 --> 00:07:48,524
You mean running
naked 'cause my
180
00:07:48,526 --> 00:07:50,859
boyfriend had a shotgun.
181
00:07:52,662 --> 00:07:54,062
That quickee to Rio?
182
00:07:54,064 --> 00:07:55,397
You mean when you
left me stranded at
183
00:07:55,399 --> 00:07:56,865
the airport 'cause
you took Elaine
184
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:58,033
instead of me?
185
00:07:58,035 --> 00:08:00,001
Oh yeah.
186
00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:02,905
You shoulda been there.
187
00:08:02,907 --> 00:08:05,573
Cuba, that was you.
188
00:08:05,575 --> 00:08:07,309
Oh, Tequila.
189
00:08:07,311 --> 00:08:08,876
Qualuudes.
190
00:08:08,878 --> 00:08:11,079
A cheap motel room.
And...
191
00:08:11,081 --> 00:08:14,449
(whispers)
192
00:08:14,451 --> 00:08:16,952
That I will never forget.
193
00:08:18,321 --> 00:08:20,388
Why don't we take
this conversation
194
00:08:20,390 --> 00:08:22,122
somewhere else.
195
00:08:22,124 --> 00:08:23,123
Done.
196
00:08:26,762 --> 00:08:27,728
I know.
197
00:08:27,730 --> 00:08:29,263
This is awkward for me too.
198
00:08:29,265 --> 00:08:29,931
You know, because you were
199
00:08:29,933 --> 00:08:30,631
my girlfriend.
200
00:08:30,633 --> 00:08:31,632
And we dated...
201
00:08:31,634 --> 00:08:32,800
Come through, Foxley?
202
00:08:32,802 --> 00:08:34,802
Piece of cake.
203
00:08:36,538 --> 00:08:38,205
How did you find it so fast?
204
00:08:38,207 --> 00:08:40,274
Your mom sold it to me
before she blew town.
205
00:08:40,276 --> 00:08:41,675
She didn't even negotiate.
206
00:08:41,677 --> 00:08:43,743
A little fuck you to
you and your old man.
207
00:08:43,745 --> 00:08:45,212
She knew how much
that car meant
208
00:08:45,214 --> 00:08:46,413
to you and Ken.
209
00:08:46,415 --> 00:08:48,715
Oh and I'm keeping it.
210
00:08:48,717 --> 00:08:49,850
Okay, first of all,
211
00:08:49,852 --> 00:08:51,651
he's not my old man,
and we had a deal.
212
00:08:51,653 --> 00:08:52,919
To find the car.
213
00:08:52,921 --> 00:08:54,187
Which I did.
214
00:08:54,189 --> 00:08:55,254
The rest of your
deal can go climb
215
00:08:55,256 --> 00:08:56,556
up your urethra like
those charming
216
00:08:56,558 --> 00:08:58,725
little penis fish
in the Amazon.
217
00:08:58,727 --> 00:08:59,759
Yuck.
218
00:08:59,761 --> 00:09:01,327
Dot, this car is not just a
219
00:09:01,329 --> 00:09:03,029
car to Richard.
220
00:09:03,031 --> 00:09:04,130
It's love.
221
00:09:04,132 --> 00:09:06,199
Abandoned by his
father and mother,
222
00:09:06,201 --> 00:09:07,233
he needs to fill the void
223
00:09:07,235 --> 00:09:08,301
in his heart.
224
00:09:08,303 --> 00:09:09,669
Look, if this is about us,
225
00:09:09,671 --> 00:09:10,903
don't drag them into it.
226
00:09:10,905 --> 00:09:12,271
You really think I'd
get in bed with you
227
00:09:12,273 --> 00:09:13,239
after you ruined my life?
228
00:09:13,241 --> 00:09:14,773
I never meant to hurt you.
229
00:09:14,775 --> 00:09:15,774
You're the one who
walked away from
230
00:09:15,776 --> 00:09:16,242
the dealership.
231
00:09:16,244 --> 00:09:17,377
Which one?
232
00:09:17,379 --> 00:09:18,577
The rotting pile of
ash or the dumpy
233
00:09:18,579 --> 00:09:20,279
trailer on the ass end
of dealership row?
234
00:09:20,281 --> 00:09:20,913
You know what?
235
00:09:20,915 --> 00:09:21,714
He's right.
236
00:09:21,716 --> 00:09:22,581
You broke up with me.
237
00:09:22,583 --> 00:09:23,782
Fine.
238
00:09:23,784 --> 00:09:24,984
I'll give you 5k for
the car right now.
239
00:09:24,986 --> 00:09:25,718
Larry?
240
00:09:28,522 --> 00:09:30,689
Oh... uh...
241
00:09:30,691 --> 00:09:32,591
How do you feel about layaway?
242
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:35,628
Like I want to roll
it up and skull
243
00:09:35,630 --> 00:09:36,862
fuck you with it.
244
00:09:36,864 --> 00:09:37,997
Ladies.
245
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:41,867
Hey! Hey!
246
00:09:41,869 --> 00:09:43,868
Hi, how are ya?
247
00:09:43,870 --> 00:09:45,570
Ok. Alright.
248
00:09:56,315 --> 00:09:57,815
Sorry you guys had to
witness that by the way.
249
00:09:57,817 --> 00:09:59,284
What can I say?
250
00:09:59,286 --> 00:10:00,718
This stud is hard to get over.
251
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:02,286
Had some good
times in old Bets.
252
00:10:02,288 --> 00:10:04,022
You might say it's your
very own time machine,
253
00:10:04,024 --> 00:10:05,256
transporting you
back to the land
254
00:10:05,258 --> 00:10:06,591
of yesteryear.
255
00:10:06,593 --> 00:10:07,559
It's a time machine?
256
00:10:07,561 --> 00:10:08,259
Holy shit!
257
00:10:08,261 --> 00:10:08,726
(ZAP!)
258
00:10:08,728 --> 00:10:10,028
Ouch!
259
00:10:10,030 --> 00:10:11,095
Richard, this is the
universe telling you
260
00:10:11,097 --> 00:10:12,797
to work through
your issues with
261
00:10:12,799 --> 00:10:13,731
your father and --
262
00:10:13,733 --> 00:10:15,166
Steal the car.
263
00:10:15,168 --> 00:10:17,601
I'm gonna make her mine again.
264
00:10:17,603 --> 00:10:18,969
No, I'm pretty sure
the universe does
265
00:10:18,971 --> 00:10:20,504
not condone grand theft auto.
266
00:10:20,506 --> 00:10:21,439
Josh can you
de-electrify
267
00:10:21,441 --> 00:10:22,573
this fence?
268
00:10:22,575 --> 00:10:24,641
Can a child soldier
lay a minefield?
269
00:10:24,643 --> 00:10:25,543
We cannot steal a car
270
00:10:25,545 --> 00:10:26,677
in broad daylight!
271
00:10:26,679 --> 00:10:28,546
Ya, Larry's right.
272
00:10:28,548 --> 00:10:29,947
Thank you.
273
00:10:29,949 --> 00:10:31,082
We'll wait until dark.
274
00:10:31,084 --> 00:10:32,516
You wi -
awww.
275
00:10:32,518 --> 00:10:34,350
Josh, let's go get a drink.
276
00:10:37,789 --> 00:10:40,323
The Church of Intimate Light.
277
00:10:40,325 --> 00:10:42,158
Didn't that used to
be a rub'n tug?
278
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,727
It's still a still a
place of connection,
279
00:10:43,729 --> 00:10:46,797
only now it helps us
unlock the deity within.
280
00:10:46,799 --> 00:10:48,298
What are you, a fortune cookie?
281
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:49,999
Think of me as a
cookie of eternal
282
00:10:50,001 --> 00:10:51,968
happiness, a way to touch the
283
00:10:51,970 --> 00:10:54,070
divine and caress the future.
284
00:10:54,072 --> 00:10:56,739
Are we still talking
about fucking.
285
00:10:56,741 --> 00:10:58,874
I never should have
brought you here.
286
00:10:58,876 --> 00:11:00,443
I just thought the
church might give
287
00:11:00,445 --> 00:11:02,078
you a sense of release.
288
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,113
The kind of release I need,
289
00:11:03,115 --> 00:11:04,714
you don't do in church.
290
00:11:04,716 --> 00:11:06,181
Don't you ever want
to reach for
291
00:11:06,183 --> 00:11:07,850
something more?
292
00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:09,919
That's what you said
to me that night we
293
00:11:09,921 --> 00:11:11,453
were caught doing it
on the roof of
294
00:11:11,455 --> 00:11:12,187
the Hojos.
295
00:11:12,189 --> 00:11:13,388
(laughter)
296
00:11:13,390 --> 00:11:15,557
There's more than one
way to talk to god.
297
00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:16,525
You wanna talk to God?
298
00:11:16,527 --> 00:11:18,828
I got a mic right here.
299
00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:21,864
Too much huh?
300
00:11:21,866 --> 00:11:23,165
We're not getting
any younger, Kenny.
301
00:11:23,167 --> 00:11:24,799
And this is something I
302
00:11:24,801 --> 00:11:26,535
really believe in.
303
00:11:26,537 --> 00:11:27,503
Fuck me.
304
00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:34,176
Not unless you're a
member of the church.
305
00:11:35,878 --> 00:11:37,179
I'm in, C'mon.
306
00:11:42,652 --> 00:11:44,653
For the record, I am still not
307
00:11:44,655 --> 00:11:46,587
condoning this crime!
308
00:11:46,589 --> 00:11:47,822
Relax dick stilts.
309
00:11:47,824 --> 00:11:49,057
It's not a crime if it already
310
00:11:49,059 --> 00:11:50,258
belongs to you.
311
00:11:50,260 --> 00:11:51,559
This is the
family car --
312
00:11:51,561 --> 00:11:53,061
it's my fucking legacy.
313
00:11:53,063 --> 00:11:54,963
Just look at her curves.
314
00:11:57,499 --> 00:12:01,101
You two keep an eye
out for the cops.
315
00:12:09,744 --> 00:12:11,011
This is gonna require the
316
00:12:11,013 --> 00:12:12,579
old Fitzy touch.
317
00:12:14,649 --> 00:12:16,850
Oh... yeah.
318
00:12:18,252 --> 00:12:20,054
C'mon baby.
319
00:12:20,056 --> 00:12:21,021
Come on.
320
00:12:23,792 --> 00:12:25,458
That's my girl.
321
00:12:26,728 --> 00:12:27,761
Let's go.
322
00:12:27,763 --> 00:12:28,461
(bell rings)
323
00:12:28,463 --> 00:12:43,943
(chanting)
324
00:12:43,945 --> 00:12:45,945
My balls are cold.
325
00:12:45,947 --> 00:12:49,082
Doesn't your divine
leader believe in heat?
326
00:12:49,084 --> 00:12:51,084
Modesty is a pebble
on the path to
327
00:12:51,086 --> 00:12:52,685
enlightenment.
328
00:12:52,687 --> 00:12:56,322
You weren't so modest
back in the day.
329
00:12:56,324 --> 00:12:57,456
Fuck.
330
00:12:57,458 --> 00:12:58,324
Feels like I got a
pebble shoved
331
00:12:58,326 --> 00:12:59,391
up my ass.
332
00:12:59,393 --> 00:13:01,393
Ahem, shhhhh.
333
00:13:03,730 --> 00:13:06,665
Silence begets honesty, friend.
334
00:13:09,469 --> 00:13:11,136
Oh.
335
00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:13,839
You want some fucking honesty?
336
00:13:13,841 --> 00:13:15,874
Why didn't you say so?
337
00:13:15,876 --> 00:13:17,876
Listen up fucknuts,
338
00:13:17,878 --> 00:13:20,212
because I'll only
say this once.
339
00:13:20,214 --> 00:13:21,847
We're all full of shit.
340
00:13:21,849 --> 00:13:23,815
But at least I admit it.
341
00:13:23,817 --> 00:13:26,184
I don't pretend to be
some Larry Krishna
342
00:13:26,186 --> 00:13:28,153
bragging about how
humble he is.
343
00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:29,788
Ken, c'mon, sit down.
344
00:13:29,790 --> 00:13:31,456
I'm not sittin' anywhere.
345
00:13:31,458 --> 00:13:32,958
This fake guru bullshit is
346
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,126
a cover up and you know it.
347
00:13:35,128 --> 00:13:36,494
As if these assholes
weren't a bunch
348
00:13:36,496 --> 00:13:38,296
of fired baristas.
349
00:13:38,298 --> 00:13:39,464
I was LAID OFF!
350
00:13:39,466 --> 00:13:40,898
I honestly think if
you'd get your sack
351
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:42,700
drained and have a
stiff drink you
352
00:13:42,702 --> 00:13:43,701
wouldn't need to dress like
353
00:13:43,703 --> 00:13:45,803
Gandhi's homo brother.
354
00:13:50,842 --> 00:13:52,576
He's right, Stu.
355
00:13:52,578 --> 00:13:54,444
It's Ravi Guruswami!
356
00:13:54,446 --> 00:13:55,712
And I'm the one
leading the circle
357
00:13:55,714 --> 00:13:57,081
of free sharing, ok!
358
00:13:57,083 --> 00:13:59,449
This is Burning Man
all over again.
359
00:13:59,451 --> 00:14:01,051
Obviously your unwillingness
360
00:14:01,053 --> 00:14:03,154
to accept Ravi
Guruswamin's supreme
361
00:14:03,156 --> 00:14:05,990
enlightenment has
dimmed your kwom.
362
00:14:05,992 --> 00:14:07,491
You hear that
barista-boy.
363
00:14:07,493 --> 00:14:08,592
He kicked you in the kwom.
364
00:14:08,594 --> 00:14:11,428
Yeah, well I kicked
his ass back in
365
00:14:11,430 --> 00:14:13,196
middle school and
I'll do it again.
366
00:14:13,198 --> 00:14:14,564
Okay, you just
bought yourself an
367
00:14:14,566 --> 00:14:16,300
hour scrubbing out
the reflective pool.
368
00:14:16,302 --> 00:14:17,634
I'm shaking, Stu.
369
00:14:17,636 --> 00:14:19,102
Make that two hours.
370
00:14:19,104 --> 00:14:22,372
Those were MY fire
stilts and you know it!
371
00:14:23,541 --> 00:14:25,508
(laughs)
372
00:14:26,643 --> 00:14:27,944
Is this the kind
of help you were
373
00:14:27,946 --> 00:14:30,313
looking for, Magpie?
374
00:14:30,315 --> 00:14:32,415
Let's get outta here.
375
00:14:35,252 --> 00:14:37,220
What the fuck's taking so long?
376
00:14:37,222 --> 00:14:39,856
Josh! Josh!
377
00:14:39,858 --> 00:14:41,290
Sorry, man.
378
00:14:41,292 --> 00:14:42,758
Titanium locks --
379
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:44,293
no way we can cut through it.
380
00:14:44,295 --> 00:14:45,761
Fuck.
381
00:14:45,763 --> 00:14:46,962
Richard, it's times
like this we need to
382
00:14:46,964 --> 00:14:48,664
think like Grandma Alice.
383
00:14:48,666 --> 00:14:49,865
Did she let her
drinking problem
384
00:14:49,867 --> 00:14:50,833
topple her?
385
00:14:50,835 --> 00:14:52,802
No, she went
to A. A.
386
00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:55,304
It's all about moving
through adversity.
387
00:14:55,306 --> 00:14:56,905
You're absolutely
right, stink-pickle.
388
00:14:56,907 --> 00:14:58,740
We need to move through.
389
00:14:58,742 --> 00:15:01,676
Move through very, very fast.
390
00:15:01,678 --> 00:15:05,214
Josh, get out of
the fucking way!
391
00:15:05,216 --> 00:15:06,481
Oh no no no.
392
00:15:06,483 --> 00:15:08,250
(tires squeal)
393
00:15:13,456 --> 00:15:14,622
WAIT FOR ME!!!!
394
00:15:14,624 --> 00:15:18,660
(
)
395
00:15:22,898 --> 00:15:26,067
Hasn't changed one bit.
396
00:15:26,069 --> 00:15:28,236
Same old shitty carpet.
397
00:15:28,238 --> 00:15:30,171
Same lumpy bed.
398
00:15:30,173 --> 00:15:31,906
You don't suppose?
399
00:15:33,942 --> 00:15:35,676
No way.
400
00:15:35,678 --> 00:15:37,411
It's been decades.
401
00:15:40,082 --> 00:15:41,182
Still there.
402
00:15:41,184 --> 00:15:42,683
You think this is
one of the ones we
403
00:15:42,685 --> 00:15:43,550
laced with pcp?
404
00:15:43,552 --> 00:15:46,453
Only one way to find out.
405
00:15:46,455 --> 00:15:48,522
Oh God, no!
406
00:15:48,524 --> 00:15:50,257
It's been years.
407
00:15:53,961 --> 00:15:56,129
Like riding a bicycle.
408
00:16:00,034 --> 00:16:02,135
Oh that's pretty good.
409
00:16:03,938 --> 00:16:05,038
Typical.
410
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,740
Another broad that let me down.
411
00:16:07,742 --> 00:16:10,343
(car starter turning over)
412
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:11,344
Fuck!
413
00:16:14,282 --> 00:16:16,416
Everything this family
touches breaks.
414
00:16:16,418 --> 00:16:18,184
What isn't broken is
that hearty
415
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:19,719
Fitzpatrick spirit.
416
00:16:19,721 --> 00:16:21,287
What is broken is
your face if you
417
00:16:21,289 --> 00:16:23,589
open your pie-hole
one more time.
418
00:16:25,225 --> 00:16:26,492
What the fuck is wrong
with this car, Josh?
419
00:16:26,494 --> 00:16:27,794
Well, we did just go through a
420
00:16:27,796 --> 00:16:28,694
chain-linked
fence,
421
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:29,962
so it could be multiple things.
422
00:16:29,964 --> 00:16:31,063
I got to get it to a garage.
423
00:16:31,065 --> 00:16:33,599
Whoah! Hey! Whoah!
424
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:34,333
Jeez, at least you still have
425
00:16:34,335 --> 00:16:36,201
the memories, man.
426
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:37,136
That's what's good
about time machines.
427
00:16:37,138 --> 00:16:37,937
There's no such thing as
428
00:16:37,939 --> 00:16:39,305
time machines, idiot!
429
00:16:39,307 --> 00:16:41,040
Richard, it is a time machine.
430
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:44,476
Look, June 14th, 1989.
431
00:16:44,478 --> 00:16:45,610
That's the day you
ran into that
432
00:16:45,612 --> 00:16:47,112
fire hydrant.
433
00:16:47,114 --> 00:16:48,948
The day Ken taught
me how to hot wire.
434
00:16:48,950 --> 00:16:49,748
Yeah.
435
00:16:49,750 --> 00:16:51,216
'89?
436
00:16:51,218 --> 00:16:52,184
Holy shit.
437
00:16:53,619 --> 00:16:55,286
Hey, come here, look.
438
00:16:56,656 --> 00:16:57,989
Junior High.
439
00:16:57,991 --> 00:16:58,723
Remember?
440
00:16:58,725 --> 00:16:59,958
Our first joint.
441
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:01,626
We dropped the cherry.
442
00:17:01,628 --> 00:17:03,161
We almost set the car on fire.
443
00:17:03,163 --> 00:17:04,696
Your father was so mad.
444
00:17:04,698 --> 00:17:06,397
He's not my father,
dick-limbs.
445
00:17:06,399 --> 00:17:08,066
Or didn't you get that memo?
446
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:08,800
No, Richard.
447
00:17:08,802 --> 00:17:10,668
You didn't.
448
00:17:10,670 --> 00:17:11,869
You may not be bonded to your
449
00:17:11,871 --> 00:17:14,172
family by the chains
of DNA but you are
450
00:17:14,174 --> 00:17:16,074
bonded by happy
memories mister.
451
00:17:17,843 --> 00:17:18,809
"AA"
452
00:17:19,811 --> 00:17:21,946
That's Grandma Alice.
453
00:17:24,083 --> 00:17:26,416
It doesn't stand for
Alcoholics Anonymous.
454
00:17:26,418 --> 00:17:28,853
It stands for Asslove Alice.
455
00:17:28,855 --> 00:17:30,855
Ohhh Alice.
456
00:17:30,857 --> 00:17:31,889
I loved her work.
457
00:17:31,891 --> 00:17:33,924
This is classic stuff, Larry.
458
00:17:33,926 --> 00:17:35,292
Grandma Alice?
459
00:17:36,728 --> 00:17:38,061
But her philanthropic pursuits!
460
00:17:38,063 --> 00:17:39,630
She wasn't a
461
00:17:39,632 --> 00:17:41,031
whatever-the-
fuck-ipist,
462
00:17:41,033 --> 00:17:42,399
she fucked for money.
463
00:17:42,401 --> 00:17:43,300
Don't you get it?
464
00:17:43,302 --> 00:17:45,168
I used to wack
off to your nana.
465
00:17:45,170 --> 00:17:45,869
There's nothing good about
466
00:17:45,871 --> 00:17:47,304
the Fitzpatricks.
467
00:17:47,306 --> 00:17:49,439
Ken, Alice,
468
00:17:51,142 --> 00:17:53,343
even this car is a
piece of shit.
469
00:17:53,345 --> 00:17:55,045
I risked my ass to
save you from Foxley.
470
00:17:55,047 --> 00:17:56,646
And this is how it ends?
471
00:17:56,648 --> 00:17:58,648
I thought we had
something special.
472
00:17:58,650 --> 00:17:59,883
Fuck.
473
00:17:59,885 --> 00:18:02,251
We'll give you some
time, Richard.
474
00:18:02,253 --> 00:18:04,286
This is a lot to process.
475
00:18:04,288 --> 00:18:05,688
Josh and I will try
to find us a way
476
00:18:05,690 --> 00:18:06,856
to get home.
477
00:18:08,526 --> 00:18:11,861
I'll leave you and
Betsy alone now.
478
00:18:19,636 --> 00:18:28,177
(
)
479
00:18:29,579 --> 00:18:35,116
(laughing)
480
00:18:35,118 --> 00:18:36,418
They don't make dope
like they used to.
481
00:18:36,420 --> 00:18:37,419
There's a lot of
things they don't
482
00:18:37,421 --> 00:18:39,287
make like they use to.
483
00:18:39,289 --> 00:18:41,256
I'd do a couple of things
484
00:18:41,258 --> 00:18:42,123
differently though.
485
00:18:42,125 --> 00:18:43,559
We can.
486
00:18:43,561 --> 00:18:45,727
You and me.
487
00:18:45,729 --> 00:18:47,029
Like we should've
done all those years
488
00:18:47,031 --> 00:18:49,697
ago before that kid
fucked up my life.
489
00:18:49,699 --> 00:18:51,666
You mean it?
490
00:18:51,668 --> 00:18:53,868
Starting with this.
491
00:18:56,138 --> 00:18:57,138
Oh, Kenny!
492
00:19:01,077 --> 00:19:02,310
I mean who would have thunk it?
493
00:19:02,312 --> 00:19:04,579
Every gas station on
the North Side closed
494
00:19:04,581 --> 00:19:06,246
because of National
Mechanics Day?
495
00:19:06,248 --> 00:19:07,815
I didn't get the memo...
496
00:19:07,817 --> 00:19:08,783
What the...
497
00:19:10,752 --> 00:19:13,688
(groans)
498
00:19:13,690 --> 00:19:15,056
Ooooh Betsy.
499
00:19:15,058 --> 00:19:16,757
Let's run away together Maggie.
500
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:19,727
Start over.
501
00:19:19,729 --> 00:19:21,195
Fuck my family.
502
00:19:21,197 --> 00:19:22,929
But first, you.
503
00:19:22,931 --> 00:19:25,532
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
504
00:19:25,534 --> 00:19:27,634
Betsy! Yeah!
505
00:19:27,636 --> 00:19:28,702
Oh yeah!
506
00:19:29,904 --> 00:19:34,975
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
507
00:19:34,977 --> 00:19:35,976
OH YEAHHHH!
508
00:19:35,978 --> 00:19:42,281
AAAAAHHHHH!
509
00:19:42,283 --> 00:19:43,249
Richard --
510
00:19:50,324 --> 00:19:51,524
Ahh...
511
00:19:54,528 --> 00:19:57,096
I got nothing.
512
00:19:57,098 --> 00:19:59,332
Ah, Richard...
513
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:04,604
You are filling an
emotional void with
514
00:20:04,606 --> 00:20:06,172
with an erotic fixation on your
515
00:20:06,174 --> 00:20:08,741
first love, the automobile.
516
00:20:08,743 --> 00:20:10,009
Yeah I mean, I got busy with a
517
00:20:10,011 --> 00:20:11,543
spatula once, you know,
518
00:20:11,545 --> 00:20:13,545
but then again,
you know, who didn't?
519
00:20:13,547 --> 00:20:14,613
Right?
520
00:20:14,615 --> 00:20:15,480
Richard, you cannot solve
521
00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:17,449
everything with intercourse.
522
00:20:18,852 --> 00:20:20,119
(car roars to life)
523
00:20:20,121 --> 00:20:21,286
You were saying?
524
00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:22,855
Hahaha, shotgun!
525
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:29,227
(
)
526
00:20:31,497 --> 00:20:47,478
(
Smooth jazzy Horn Music )
527
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,781
Why have I got lube in my eyes?
528
00:20:49,783 --> 00:20:51,415
That's a tear.
529
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:55,586
Fitzpatricks don't
have tear ducts: fact.
530
00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:59,057
What the fuck do I
have to cry about?
531
00:20:59,059 --> 00:21:00,058
Your son.
532
00:21:02,727 --> 00:21:05,496
I only have one son
and his name is
533
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:07,931
Meghan Fitzpatrick.
534
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,900
So that that's
what's eating you,
535
00:21:09,902 --> 00:21:11,101
isn't it?
536
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,704
You didn't leave me for Elaine.
537
00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:16,640
You left me for your family.
538
00:21:16,642 --> 00:21:17,774
For your son.
539
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:19,109
That makes about as
much sense as a
540
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,912
Chinaman winning the Indy 500.
541
00:21:23,547 --> 00:21:24,681
I know that look Ken.
542
00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:26,516
That's denial.
543
00:21:27,551 --> 00:21:28,618
Also, drugs.
544
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:31,021
But mainly denial.
545
00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:32,089
Right, I went back for the
546
00:21:32,091 --> 00:21:34,023
bullshit kid and
the bullshit wife.
547
00:21:34,025 --> 00:21:36,792
And everything worked
out hunky-dory.
548
00:21:36,794 --> 00:21:38,094
You're being sarcastic.
549
00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:39,095
Am I?
550
00:21:42,966 --> 00:21:46,402
Wait, am I?
551
00:21:48,305 --> 00:21:50,272
You feel better now?
552
00:21:52,042 --> 00:21:53,909
Must have been the grass.
553
00:21:53,911 --> 00:21:57,880
It's called talking
about your feelings.
554
00:21:59,816 --> 00:22:01,516
You always could read me.
555
00:22:01,518 --> 00:22:03,485
You have a special gift.
556
00:22:03,487 --> 00:22:04,754
And it's not just
that thing you do
557
00:22:04,756 --> 00:22:07,256
with your tongue.
558
00:22:08,758 --> 00:22:10,125
Well I better get going.
559
00:22:10,127 --> 00:22:12,127
Prayer session in two hours.
560
00:22:12,129 --> 00:22:15,096
Back to Guru
Fucknuts' Playhouse?
561
00:22:15,098 --> 00:22:18,133
You don't need those
miserable pricks.
562
00:22:18,135 --> 00:22:20,235
Well I may not need the church,
563
00:22:20,237 --> 00:22:23,004
but the church needs me.
564
00:22:23,006 --> 00:22:25,173
You're right, I do have a gift.
565
00:22:25,175 --> 00:22:27,475
And it's time those
bastards could
566
00:22:27,477 --> 00:22:28,609
see it too.
567
00:22:36,185 --> 00:22:38,153
Give 'em hell, Mags.
568
00:22:39,788 --> 00:22:43,758
That's Maggie Guruswami
to you, fucknuts.
569
00:22:56,404 --> 00:22:57,304
Give em hell.
570
00:23:01,142 --> 00:23:02,309
Oh, great.
571
00:23:02,311 --> 00:23:05,245
Another booze-soaked
drunken-daddy call.
572
00:23:05,247 --> 00:23:06,379
What is it this time?
573
00:23:06,381 --> 00:23:07,881
A few shots of
whiskey with a side
574
00:23:07,883 --> 00:23:09,683
order of regret?
575
00:23:09,685 --> 00:23:11,185
My mom left.
576
00:23:11,187 --> 00:23:14,421
Ken's not my real father.
577
00:23:14,423 --> 00:23:15,021
Pat Childs is.
578
00:23:15,023 --> 00:23:17,156
Ugh, unbelievable.
579
00:23:17,158 --> 00:23:19,258
As always, it is all about you.
580
00:23:19,260 --> 00:23:20,827
Did you even hear what I said?
581
00:23:20,829 --> 00:23:22,362
I cannot even begin
to describe to you
582
00:23:22,364 --> 00:23:24,564
the size of the fuck
I do not give.
583
00:23:24,566 --> 00:23:26,899
Who cares if Ken is not
your biological father.
584
00:23:26,901 --> 00:23:28,100
Case in point:
you are the
585
00:23:28,102 --> 00:23:29,836
biological father of my child,
586
00:23:29,838 --> 00:23:30,803
your only son,
587
00:23:30,805 --> 00:23:32,839
and we both know
that means nothing.
588
00:23:32,841 --> 00:23:37,343
(baby cries)
589
00:23:37,345 --> 00:23:38,811
It's up to you, Fitz.
590
00:23:38,813 --> 00:23:42,148
Get a life or take
some place else.
591
00:23:56,830 --> 00:24:01,066
Hey! You lying
meatsack!
592
00:24:01,068 --> 00:24:03,568
Who the fuck says the
secret is "heart?!"
593
00:24:03,570 --> 00:24:05,770
The heart is nothing
but a fucked up,
594
00:24:05,772 --> 00:24:08,006
miserable, abandoning whore!
595
00:24:08,008 --> 00:24:08,974
What are you talking about?
596
00:24:08,976 --> 00:24:11,009
It's 100% pure beef heart.
597
00:24:11,011 --> 00:24:12,810
Organic, rich in iron,
598
00:24:12,812 --> 00:24:14,312
silky texture.
599
00:24:14,314 --> 00:24:15,780
Buy three, get one free!
600
00:24:20,886 --> 00:24:26,223
(
Just a Closer
Walk with Thee
)
601
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:37,134
Just a closer
walk with thee
602
00:24:37,136 --> 00:24:44,241
Grant it Jesus is my plea
603
00:24:47,979 --> 00:24:49,413
Your chosen elixir?
604
00:24:49,415 --> 00:24:52,181
Triple scotch, straight up.
605
00:24:52,183 --> 00:24:53,650
And what of you, White Satan?
606
00:24:53,652 --> 00:24:55,719
Three fingers of bourbon.
607
00:24:55,721 --> 00:24:57,053
Neat.
608
00:24:57,055 --> 00:25:03,059
Let it be dear lord
let it be
609
00:25:03,061 --> 00:25:17,440
(
)
610
00:25:17,442 --> 00:25:18,975
There will be no cancer causing
611
00:25:18,977 --> 00:25:20,443
sticks in this establishment!
612
00:25:20,963 --> 00:25:22,920
Get out.
613
00:25:23,391 --> 00:25:25,213
We are neither in Cameroon,
614
00:25:25,215 --> 00:25:27,063
nor the mid-to-late
nineties!
615
00:25:32,041 --> 00:25:33,689
GOOD DAY,
SIR!
616
00:25:43,433 --> 00:25:50,439
When my feeble life is over
617
00:25:52,308 --> 00:26:00,715
Time for me shall
be no more
618
00:26:02,284 --> 00:26:08,756
Guide me gently,
safely over
619
00:26:10,192 --> 00:26:14,828
To thy kingdom shores
620
00:26:14,830 --> 00:26:17,290
To thy shore.
621
00:26:17,410 --> 00:26:20,301
Hey Childs, it's Fitz.
622
00:26:22,070 --> 00:26:23,917
Listen, about
that job offer --
623
00:26:24,037 --> 00:26:27,408
We should talk.
624
00:26:27,410 --> 00:26:29,475
Just a closer walk...
625
00:26:29,810 --> 00:26:37,718
Grant it Jesus is my plea.
626
00:26:39,186 --> 00:26:47,660
Daily walking close to thee
627
00:26:47,662 --> 00:26:55,701
Let it be dear lord,
let it be
628
00:26:55,703 --> 00:27:00,407
Just a closer walk
with thee-eeeee
629
00:27:01,292 --> 00:27:11,330
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
630
00:27:11,380 --> 00:27:15,930
Repair and Synchronization by
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