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1
00:00:06,290 --> 00:00:08,092
Hey, pay attention, fuckers...
2
00:00:08,159 --> 00:00:11,661
I need you to cancel that
thing today, the debate.
3
00:00:11,730 --> 00:00:13,030
Why?
4
00:00:13,098 --> 00:00:14,865
Because my sister's dead.
5
00:00:14,933 --> 00:00:16,233
Hey, why aren't you drinking?
6
00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:17,467
Son of a bitch, what's in this?
7
00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:20,336
Fuckers...
8
00:00:20,403 --> 00:00:22,805
No angle;
a proposal.
9
00:00:22,873 --> 00:00:26,408
What's the one thing you and
I were always good at together?
10
00:00:27,544 --> 00:00:29,746
Ha!
A new dealership?
11
00:00:29,813 --> 00:00:32,181
You're going to win it for me.
12
00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:33,782
It's my new long-term plan.
13
00:00:33,850 --> 00:00:35,884
Relax Foxley, I got this!
14
00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:38,686
A campaign that has
zero focus, no platform,
15
00:00:38,755 --> 00:00:40,588
and not a single female supporter?
16
00:00:40,656 --> 00:00:42,090
This is serious, Fitz!
17
00:00:42,158 --> 00:00:44,592
Chester, I'm leaving you!
18
00:00:44,660 --> 00:00:46,261
Motherfucker!
19
00:00:46,328 --> 00:00:49,697
You faked your sister'sdeath to get votes?
20
00:00:49,765 --> 00:00:53,000
What do you have to say for
yourself, Mr. Fitzpatrick?
21
00:00:53,068 --> 00:00:54,401
My sister's alive!
22
00:00:54,469 --> 00:00:56,470
It's a miracle!
23
00:00:59,407 --> 00:01:01,976
Oh, God...
Oh God...
24
00:01:02,043 --> 00:01:03,477
You wanna know what I believe?
25
00:01:03,544 --> 00:01:05,712
Chumps wait for miracles.
26
00:01:05,780 --> 00:01:07,247
Fitzpatricks get what they want
27
00:01:07,314 --> 00:01:09,983
by following the ten commandments...
28
00:01:10,050 --> 00:01:13,186
There will be no other gods before me.
29
00:01:13,254 --> 00:01:15,054
Obviously.
30
00:01:15,122 --> 00:01:16,956
Never take the Lord's name in vain.
31
00:01:17,024 --> 00:01:18,591
Unless it's justified.
32
00:01:18,659 --> 00:01:20,059
Jesus Christ, sweet mother of fuck.
33
00:01:20,127 --> 00:01:22,094
Where's my lighter, Larry!
34
00:01:22,162 --> 00:01:24,296
Don't worship false idols.
35
00:01:24,363 --> 00:01:25,898
Unless you're out of single malt.
36
00:01:25,965 --> 00:01:27,599
God, I hate blended.
37
00:01:30,703 --> 00:01:32,271
Observe the Lord's Day.
38
00:01:32,338 --> 00:01:33,872
Fuck me, Fitz.
39
00:01:33,940 --> 00:01:36,641
Oh, I observed it alright.
40
00:01:36,709 --> 00:01:39,643
Honor thy father.
41
00:01:39,711 --> 00:01:42,947
Don't kill -- intentionally.
42
00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:45,016
Then there's the one thingthat no one gives a shit about
43
00:01:45,083 --> 00:01:46,784
so, who cares.
44
00:01:46,852 --> 00:01:48,886
Then there's theadultery thing-
45
00:01:48,954 --> 00:01:51,689
Get him!
The stealing thing...
46
00:01:51,756 --> 00:01:54,624
And, finally, my favoritecommandment of all...
47
00:01:54,692 --> 00:01:56,259
Covet thy neighbour.
48
00:01:56,327 --> 00:01:57,760
She's actually the
neighbour's daughter.
49
00:01:57,829 --> 00:01:59,529
But who's counting?
50
00:01:59,596 --> 00:02:02,065
Because when you live life right,
51
00:02:02,133 --> 00:02:04,634
good things just happen...
52
00:02:09,974 --> 00:02:12,375
Amen.
53
00:02:44,058 --> 00:02:54,658
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
54
00:03:05,058 --> 00:03:09,095
'Ooo, we are Fitzpatricks
and we rise from the dead.'
55
00:03:09,162 --> 00:03:11,163
There has not been
one customer all day
56
00:03:11,231 --> 00:03:13,032
because of their blasphemy, Cousin.
57
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:15,267
Yes, the devil Father Fitzpatrick
58
00:03:15,334 --> 00:03:17,302
has found a most ingenious way
59
00:03:17,370 --> 00:03:19,137
out of our
sales contract -
60
00:03:19,205 --> 00:03:21,607
starting his own religion.
61
00:03:21,674 --> 00:03:25,176
And giving away free cars
with every $5000 "donation".
62
00:03:25,244 --> 00:03:27,012
I say bah!
63
00:03:27,079 --> 00:03:28,213
We shall overcome,
64
00:03:28,281 --> 00:03:29,648
for we are Ruptal.
65
00:03:29,716 --> 00:03:31,582
When has religion ever
stopped us before?
66
00:03:31,650 --> 00:03:34,051
When the authorities put
you on their no-fly list.
67
00:03:34,119 --> 00:03:35,720
It is preposterous of them
68
00:03:35,788 --> 00:03:37,221
to think I could hijack a plane
69
00:03:37,289 --> 00:03:39,089
with a pair of nose hair clippers...
70
00:03:39,157 --> 00:03:40,892
Nose hair clippers!
71
00:03:52,904 --> 00:03:54,404
Go find out what's going on.
72
00:03:54,472 --> 00:03:55,705
No.
73
00:03:55,773 --> 00:03:57,340
I'll be at the DUI-
Did you just say no?
74
00:03:57,408 --> 00:03:58,909
I did.
Why the fuck not?
75
00:03:58,976 --> 00:04:00,477
Because the election is imminent
76
00:04:00,545 --> 00:04:02,478
and we need to focus
on shoring up votes.
77
00:04:02,546 --> 00:04:04,046
That means hand shaking.
Baby kissing.
78
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,514
Last minute campaigning.
79
00:04:05,582 --> 00:04:06,916
Who gives a shit what you think?
80
00:04:06,983 --> 00:04:08,884
I have faith in me and
that's all that matters.
81
00:04:08,952 --> 00:04:10,686
Well, it's a good
thing you have faith,
82
00:04:10,754 --> 00:04:11,854
because it's going to take a miracle
83
00:04:11,922 --> 00:04:13,121
for you to win this election.
84
00:04:13,189 --> 00:04:14,657
I refer to my first response:
85
00:04:14,724 --> 00:04:16,124
who gives a shit what you think.
86
00:04:16,192 --> 00:04:18,293
The election is in the bag.
87
00:04:26,001 --> 00:04:27,535
Iris?
88
00:04:30,305 --> 00:04:31,405
NEXT!
89
00:04:31,474 --> 00:04:33,675
C'mon, get out of here.
90
00:04:33,742 --> 00:04:35,843
All right, c'mon, c'mon...
91
00:04:39,781 --> 00:04:41,915
What's up?
It's my hip.
92
00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:51,958
You are healed.
93
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,559
You didn't even touch me.
94
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:54,927
I said you're healed.
95
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,161
Now go get your car.
Pervert.
96
00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:57,463
Out!
97
00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:58,865
She's the mother fucking messiah!
98
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,232
Do what she says!
99
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,734
Yeah.
I'm the Messiah.
100
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,068
Right, Mommy?
101
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,203
And we're on a tight fucking schedule!
102
00:05:04,270 --> 00:05:07,372
Let's go!
NEXT!
103
00:05:07,439 --> 00:05:09,908
All right, sweet cheeks, what's up?
104
00:05:14,079 --> 00:05:15,847
Iris?
105
00:05:15,915 --> 00:05:18,383
Hi...
106
00:05:18,450 --> 00:05:20,118
How did you find me?
107
00:05:20,185 --> 00:05:21,520
Actually...
108
00:05:21,587 --> 00:05:23,754
I'm here for the miracle.
109
00:05:23,822 --> 00:05:25,088
It seemed too good to be true
110
00:05:25,156 --> 00:05:26,957
but I had to see for myself.
111
00:05:27,025 --> 00:05:29,026
It is a miracle, Iris...
112
00:05:29,093 --> 00:05:31,529
Us running into each other like this.
113
00:05:31,596 --> 00:05:33,797
I could escort you
to the tent, if you want.
114
00:05:33,865 --> 00:05:36,967
And then...
115
00:05:37,035 --> 00:05:40,369
...maybe we can go
for ice cream.
116
00:05:40,437 --> 00:05:44,306
You and me?
Like, a date?
117
00:05:44,374 --> 00:05:47,911
Oh, you don't need to call it that.
118
00:05:47,978 --> 00:05:49,378
Unless you want to.
119
00:05:49,446 --> 00:05:50,747
Which is fine.
Or not.
120
00:05:50,814 --> 00:05:53,583
Is it fine?
121
00:05:53,651 --> 00:05:57,586
Iris, I don't think it's an accident
122
00:05:57,654 --> 00:06:00,055
you wandered onto this lot.
123
00:06:00,122 --> 00:06:03,692
All these weeks, you
and me and the specter
124
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,962
of the deceased creatures
who we both once loved.
125
00:06:07,030 --> 00:06:11,498
It's fate, Iris.
126
00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:15,402
Our very own miracle!
127
00:06:15,470 --> 00:06:17,972
No, Larry.
It isn't.
128
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:19,907
It isn't that at all.
129
00:06:30,318 --> 00:06:33,153
? Money, money, money ?
130
00:06:33,221 --> 00:06:34,654
Tax free profit.
131
00:06:34,722 --> 00:06:36,122
Hallefuckinglujah.
132
00:06:36,190 --> 00:06:38,224
We always were great
business partners, Lainey.
133
00:06:38,292 --> 00:06:39,425
Shitty parents.
134
00:06:39,493 --> 00:06:40,893
Nightmare marriage.
135
00:06:40,961 --> 00:06:44,097
But goddamn geniuses when
it came to pushing tin.
136
00:06:44,164 --> 00:06:45,598
I am the messiah!
137
00:06:45,665 --> 00:06:47,266
Is it too much to ask for a soda
138
00:06:47,334 --> 00:06:48,734
and a clean goddamn dressing room?!
139
00:06:48,802 --> 00:06:50,236
We have to get the little
douchebag under control.
140
00:06:50,304 --> 00:06:52,437
Jesus freaks like their shit clean.
141
00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:55,207
A church?
142
00:06:55,274 --> 00:06:57,342
You fucking kidding me?
143
00:06:57,410 --> 00:06:59,043
What's he doing here?
144
00:06:59,112 --> 00:07:00,579
A freak show I could understand.
145
00:07:00,646 --> 00:07:01,980
"Come see the bearded lady."
146
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:04,182
I told you I had electrolysis!
Now fuck off!
147
00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:05,584
This is my miracle!
148
00:07:05,651 --> 00:07:08,486
Daddy!
I want him out of here now!
149
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,454
These suckers wouldn't be
here if it wasn't for me.
150
00:07:13,024 --> 00:07:15,326
It was my idea to kill
her in the first place!
151
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:16,860
You'll all be fucking sorry
152
00:07:16,928 --> 00:07:19,029
when I win the election and
shut this shit show down!
153
00:07:19,097 --> 00:07:21,398
Better start praying
for a miracle, Fucker.
154
00:07:21,466 --> 00:07:24,101
Because I'm telling everyone
to vote for Chester Vince!
155
00:07:24,168 --> 00:07:25,701
Before or after you shave?
156
00:07:25,769 --> 00:07:27,003
Hey, watch the suit!
157
00:07:27,070 --> 00:07:28,505
You need a time out, Mister.
158
00:07:28,572 --> 00:07:30,140
Me? She started it!
159
00:07:30,207 --> 00:07:32,008
She's always ruining my shit!
160
00:07:32,075 --> 00:07:33,143
Breaking my toys!
161
00:07:33,210 --> 00:07:34,444
Now my campaign!
162
00:07:34,512 --> 00:07:35,978
Hit the bricks!
163
00:07:36,046 --> 00:07:37,647
And you can tell those curry
packers across the road
164
00:07:37,714 --> 00:07:39,749
Ken Fitzpatrick is back.
165
00:07:39,816 --> 00:07:41,650
And Elaine Fitzpatrick.
166
00:07:41,717 --> 00:07:43,018
Yeah, her too.
167
00:07:44,587 --> 00:07:46,288
Fuck you -- all of you!
168
00:07:46,356 --> 00:07:47,856
Bye-bye,
Richard!
169
00:07:48,958 --> 00:07:50,392
Divide and conquer.
170
00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:52,594
I deal with Joan of Bark here.
171
00:07:52,662 --> 00:07:54,829
You make sure numb-nuts
doesn't fuck up my scam.
172
00:07:54,897 --> 00:07:56,597
Our scam.
173
00:07:56,665 --> 00:07:57,931
That's what I said.
174
00:08:01,970 --> 00:08:06,006
Eat my scraps, asshole!
175
00:08:06,074 --> 00:08:07,941
I need more fucking ketchup!
176
00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:09,910
Squirt bottle!
177
00:08:09,978 --> 00:08:11,546
Out of the trough, Legs.
178
00:08:11,613 --> 00:08:13,647
We need to shore up votes.
And fast.
179
00:08:13,714 --> 00:08:15,915
Oh, look who's decided
to wake up and give a shit.
180
00:08:15,983 --> 00:08:17,350
After last week's little debacle,
181
00:08:17,418 --> 00:08:18,652
you still think we have a shot?
182
00:08:18,719 --> 00:08:20,187
I don't need a shot.
I'm the fucking pistol.
183
00:08:20,254 --> 00:08:21,621
Now move!
184
00:08:21,689 --> 00:08:23,256
Don't talk to me like
I'm one of your minions.
185
00:08:23,324 --> 00:08:24,691
I busted my ass for this campaign
186
00:08:24,758 --> 00:08:26,193
and look what it got me.
187
00:08:26,260 --> 00:08:28,527
Fine.
Put the wings on my tab.
188
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:29,928
Fuck you.
189
00:08:29,996 --> 00:08:32,030
I am responsible for
my own failed career,
190
00:08:32,098 --> 00:08:36,101
my bad choice of business
partner, my stress eating.
191
00:08:36,169 --> 00:08:37,269
Wow.
192
00:08:37,337 --> 00:08:39,871
Melody Gray was right about you.
193
00:08:39,939 --> 00:08:41,907
What did she say?
194
00:08:41,974 --> 00:08:44,109
You tell me, Cankles.
195
00:08:44,177 --> 00:08:45,610
I was big boned
196
00:08:45,678 --> 00:08:47,912
and I had a note to get
out of that fitness test.
197
00:08:47,979 --> 00:08:49,581
I am not a quitter.
198
00:08:52,918 --> 00:08:54,018
Fine.
199
00:08:54,086 --> 00:08:55,986
But I'm doing this for me.
200
00:08:56,054 --> 00:08:57,422
Not you.
201
00:08:57,489 --> 00:08:58,889
Me.
202
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:03,493
Any day now.
203
00:09:15,573 --> 00:09:17,607
Scotch.
204
00:09:18,575 --> 00:09:20,576
Vodka.
205
00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:22,278
Better make it a triple, Old Lady,
206
00:09:22,346 --> 00:09:24,247
because after I get through
with you and Molly Mormon,
207
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,048
you're gonna need it.
208
00:09:26,116 --> 00:09:27,916
You always were a poor loser.
209
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,585
Says the woman who rigged
'pin the tail on the donkey'
210
00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:30,853
at my birthday party
211
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,587
so she could fuck
the winner's old man.
212
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,689
I should be thanking you, actually.
213
00:09:34,757 --> 00:09:36,891
You and your sister are
finally paying off.
214
00:09:36,959 --> 00:09:39,261
The only reason we had
you shit dispensers
215
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:41,062
was so we could make money.
216
00:09:41,130 --> 00:09:43,665
You mean that bullshit angle
Ken's playing?
217
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:45,300
That's short term.
218
00:09:45,368 --> 00:09:47,335
I get into office,
you can make some real coin.
219
00:09:47,403 --> 00:09:49,536
You really think you're going to win.
220
00:09:49,604 --> 00:09:51,138
Better fucking believe it.
221
00:09:51,205 --> 00:09:52,806
Know what I believe?
222
00:09:52,874 --> 00:09:55,075
You don't have a shot in hell.
223
00:09:55,143 --> 00:09:58,279
Ken's going to fuck you over
just like he always does.
224
00:10:00,782 --> 00:10:04,251
You can't con a conner, Kid.
225
00:10:04,318 --> 00:10:07,487
Just stay out of our way.
226
00:10:14,261 --> 00:10:16,429
You're gonna vote
for me, right, Charlie?
227
00:10:16,497 --> 00:10:18,298
You gonna find another place to drink?
228
00:10:24,437 --> 00:10:26,505
Vote for Fitz!
229
00:11:06,244 --> 00:11:10,279
Stop it.
He's not even worth it.
230
00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:16,886
She loves me not.
231
00:11:18,722 --> 00:11:20,356
She loves me not.
232
00:11:21,391 --> 00:11:23,092
She still loves me not.
233
00:11:24,694 --> 00:11:25,861
Oh, fuck.
234
00:11:25,928 --> 00:11:27,495
Don't you have somewhere else to be?
235
00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:30,332
I am upset.
236
00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:32,267
And you should eat something first.
237
00:11:32,335 --> 00:11:34,202
You'll need your strength
for what lies ahead.
238
00:11:34,270 --> 00:11:36,004
Women looking for miracles,
239
00:11:36,072 --> 00:11:39,207
and men unable to give them.
240
00:11:39,275 --> 00:11:41,175
When will you learn, Larry.
241
00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:42,809
Pussies don't get pussy.
242
00:11:42,878 --> 00:11:44,544
Love is a battlefield, Richard.
243
00:11:44,612 --> 00:11:46,947
And this soldier has lost the war.
244
00:11:47,015 --> 00:11:48,249
Nu uh.
245
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:50,484
The battle is over
when I say it's over.
246
00:11:50,551 --> 00:11:54,488
You really think I have
a chance with Iris?
247
00:11:54,555 --> 00:11:56,156
Fuck Iris.
248
00:11:56,224 --> 00:11:58,892
I prefer the term "go for ice cream".
249
00:12:00,660 --> 00:12:03,496
That's it...
250
00:12:03,563 --> 00:12:05,531
Steal support...
251
00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:06,933
Win votes...
252
00:12:07,001 --> 00:12:08,134
Blow shit up...
253
00:12:08,202 --> 00:12:09,602
I never said any of that.
254
00:12:09,669 --> 00:12:11,704
Then I'll say it for you, Rumpcrunch.
255
00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:14,973
Two words -- mother
fucking holy war.
256
00:12:15,041 --> 00:12:16,275
That's four words.
257
00:12:16,342 --> 00:12:18,410
Yeah.
It worked in Iraq.
258
00:12:18,477 --> 00:12:19,878
It worked in Afghanistan.
259
00:12:19,946 --> 00:12:22,580
And tomorrow, it's gonna work for me.
260
00:12:31,589 --> 00:12:33,791
Get your jihadist asses out here!
261
00:12:33,858 --> 00:12:35,159
Who is dead now?
262
00:12:35,227 --> 00:12:36,827
Or perhaps you wish to subject us
263
00:12:36,895 --> 00:12:38,429
to more racial stereotypes.
264
00:12:38,496 --> 00:12:40,731
What the fuck, Josh?
No.
265
00:12:40,799 --> 00:12:42,566
I just need you to help me
blow up a church.
266
00:12:42,634 --> 00:12:44,568
Wicked.
On it, Buddy.
267
00:12:44,636 --> 00:12:45,835
What about our holy oath
268
00:12:45,903 --> 00:12:47,337
to not help him with
his plans anymore?
269
00:12:47,405 --> 00:12:48,538
Oh right.
270
00:12:48,605 --> 00:12:49,739
Solidarity, Cousin.
271
00:12:49,807 --> 00:12:50,907
You are no cousin of mine.
272
00:12:50,975 --> 00:12:52,208
Look, you don't like me,
273
00:12:52,276 --> 00:12:53,643
and I sure as hell don't like you.
274
00:12:53,710 --> 00:12:55,078
But there's a bigger threat out there.
275
00:12:55,146 --> 00:12:56,779
Godzilla.
276
00:12:56,847 --> 00:12:59,983
No, my family is carpet bombing
your customers and my voters.
277
00:13:00,051 --> 00:13:01,650
We've got to take them down.
278
00:13:01,717 --> 00:13:04,086
Two birds.
One bomb.
279
00:13:04,154 --> 00:13:05,720
Sales have declined.
280
00:13:05,788 --> 00:13:07,456
Joining forces with our mortal enemy
281
00:13:07,523 --> 00:13:09,758
may be the solution we need.
282
00:13:09,826 --> 00:13:12,127
This is the Soviets all over again...
283
00:13:13,629 --> 00:13:15,230
I am not going on that stage
284
00:13:15,298 --> 00:13:18,299
until I get a new pillow, lip
balm, and my theater tickets.
285
00:13:18,367 --> 00:13:21,235
And by the way, why are there
no towels in my change room?
286
00:13:21,303 --> 00:13:24,405
I can't work under
these conditions....
287
00:13:24,473 --> 00:13:26,074
What a fucking prima donna.
288
00:13:26,141 --> 00:13:27,575
She gets that from you!
289
00:13:27,642 --> 00:13:29,777
Divide and conquer, dipshit.
290
00:13:29,845 --> 00:13:31,879
What the fuck have you
been doing all day?
291
00:13:31,947 --> 00:13:33,546
Do you know how long it
takes to adjust the lighting
292
00:13:33,614 --> 00:13:36,350
so people don't think she's
the fucking antichrist?
293
00:13:36,417 --> 00:13:38,518
You take care of
the little slut bucket.
294
00:13:38,586 --> 00:13:39,786
Hello?
295
00:13:39,854 --> 00:13:41,521
I'm trying to keep cock snot's
296
00:13:41,589 --> 00:13:43,490
sticky little fingers out of our pot.
297
00:13:43,557 --> 00:13:46,960
Complaining about our demon spawn.
298
00:13:47,028 --> 00:13:49,528
This is so "us".
299
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:50,762
Don't worry about this shit, Lainey.
300
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,598
This shit will work itself out.
301
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,500
We're winners, you and me.
302
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,002
And we're back in the green.
303
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:57,370
And by the way...
304
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:58,837
Don't get me started
about the audience.
305
00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:00,606
Who vets these people?
306
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,375
Burn, infidel!
How did all the fatties end up down front?
307
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:10,248
What kind of retard forgets
to light a Molotov cocktail?
308
00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:11,782
You idiot!
309
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:13,885
Where did you go to terrorist school?
310
00:14:13,952 --> 00:14:15,320
Hey!
He didn't.
311
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:17,622
I do have a Bachelor in Fine Arts.
312
00:14:17,689 --> 00:14:19,957
Cut him some slack.
It's his first holy war.
313
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,426
As usual, I've got to
do everything myself.
314
00:14:25,497 --> 00:14:26,930
Come one, come all!
315
00:14:26,998 --> 00:14:28,732
To see the real miracle!
316
00:14:28,799 --> 00:14:30,634
Why worship the resurrected,
317
00:14:30,701 --> 00:14:33,137
when you can worship, and vote for,
318
00:14:33,204 --> 00:14:34,638
the RESURRECTOR!
319
00:14:34,705 --> 00:14:37,173
And get free cars.
320
00:14:37,241 --> 00:14:40,143
For a reasonable monetary donation.
321
00:14:40,210 --> 00:14:41,677
That snakey fuck.
322
00:14:41,745 --> 00:14:43,812
See the man responsible
323
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,315
for raising the bearded
lady from the dead!
324
00:14:46,383 --> 00:14:47,483
Fuck you!
325
00:14:47,551 --> 00:14:49,185
I do not have a beard!
326
00:14:49,253 --> 00:14:50,886
Yes you do!
327
00:14:50,954 --> 00:14:53,388
Come back and worship my daughter!
328
00:14:55,758 --> 00:14:57,359
You want to believe in something?
329
00:14:57,427 --> 00:14:59,561
I'll tell you what
to believe in --
330
00:14:59,628 --> 00:15:02,297
Richard Fitzpatrick for City Council!
331
00:15:02,365 --> 00:15:04,599
No!
332
00:15:04,667 --> 00:15:07,969
There shall be no
other gods except me!
333
00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,770
Especially not my stupid brother!
334
00:15:11,606 --> 00:15:13,541
Come on, you guys!
335
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:14,942
This is dealing with him?
336
00:15:15,009 --> 00:15:17,378
You always were too
soft on these kids.
337
00:15:17,446 --> 00:15:20,981
Don't worry, hot stuff -
I got this.
338
00:15:27,354 --> 00:15:28,821
You!
339
00:15:28,889 --> 00:15:31,291
No, dear god.
No.
340
00:15:31,358 --> 00:15:34,060
Please just make it quick.
341
00:15:34,128 --> 00:15:35,361
Relax.
342
00:15:35,429 --> 00:15:37,130
My shithead kid is messing up my scam
343
00:15:37,198 --> 00:15:38,631
with my other shithead kid.
344
00:15:38,699 --> 00:15:40,100
You're the only one
that can talk sense
345
00:15:40,167 --> 00:15:41,500
into that ass baby.
346
00:15:41,568 --> 00:15:43,702
I want you to go over there
and do it now.
347
00:15:44,770 --> 00:15:45,904
I can't help you.
348
00:15:45,972 --> 00:15:47,038
I can't help anyone.
349
00:15:47,107 --> 00:15:49,074
I can't even help myself.
350
00:15:49,142 --> 00:15:51,243
What's with the pity party, fuck face?
351
00:15:51,311 --> 00:15:53,044
It's no one.
352
00:15:53,113 --> 00:15:57,548
Just a sweet angel who took my
heart in her delicate fingers,
353
00:15:57,616 --> 00:16:00,918
and then ravaged it like
a Polynesian cannibal.
354
00:16:00,986 --> 00:16:02,253
And I don't even know why.
355
00:16:02,321 --> 00:16:03,554
I'll tell you why.
356
00:16:03,622 --> 00:16:06,324
You're a spineless
yes man to a dirtbag.
357
00:16:06,391 --> 00:16:07,992
What woman wants that?
358
00:16:08,059 --> 00:16:09,594
You're right.
359
00:16:09,661 --> 00:16:11,862
And you know what else?
360
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,097
I killed a bird.
361
00:16:14,165 --> 00:16:16,633
No wonder Iris finds me repulsive.
362
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,335
Oh.
A dead bird.
363
00:16:18,402 --> 00:16:19,436
That's the reason.
364
00:16:19,504 --> 00:16:20,537
I know.
365
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:21,738
Look, Nancy--
It's Larry.
366
00:16:21,805 --> 00:16:23,272
Look, Nancy, grow a set.
367
00:16:23,340 --> 00:16:24,941
It's time you took a stand.
368
00:16:25,009 --> 00:16:27,343
Call bullshit when it stinks.
369
00:16:27,410 --> 00:16:30,847
Yeah, it's my responsibility
to show the public
370
00:16:30,914 --> 00:16:32,649
that Richard isn't
what he says he is...
371
00:16:32,716 --> 00:16:34,583
that there are no such
things as miracles...
372
00:16:34,652 --> 00:16:35,985
Make it quick, Slim Jim.
373
00:16:36,053 --> 00:16:38,486
I've got a fake church to salvage.
374
00:16:38,554 --> 00:16:39,788
Good talk.
375
00:16:41,958 --> 00:16:43,525
Vodka.
Make it snappy.
376
00:16:48,031 --> 00:16:50,065
My sister was dead.
377
00:16:50,133 --> 00:16:52,400
And at her grave,
378
00:16:52,468 --> 00:16:56,103
I asked the Lord to return her.
379
00:16:56,171 --> 00:16:57,772
For she was innocent.
380
00:16:57,839 --> 00:17:03,010
Unstable, yes, unattractive, yes,
381
00:17:03,078 --> 00:17:04,879
but she was innocent.
382
00:17:04,946 --> 00:17:09,049
And I felt something surge through me
383
00:17:09,116 --> 00:17:12,118
as I touched my dead sister.
384
00:17:13,688 --> 00:17:16,622
No!
It was the Lord's power.
385
00:17:16,691 --> 00:17:20,293
Blessed be Jesus, zombie maker.
386
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:21,795
We talked about this.
387
00:17:21,862 --> 00:17:23,096
She's not a zombie.
388
00:17:23,164 --> 00:17:24,597
It was the cannabis.
389
00:17:24,665 --> 00:17:29,134
Praised be to the
blue eyed devil, Fitz!
390
00:17:29,202 --> 00:17:32,938
Anyway, vote Fitz,
and when I'm in office,
391
00:17:33,006 --> 00:17:37,843
I'll resurrect anyone
and anything you desire.
392
00:17:37,911 --> 00:17:39,812
Are you sure about that?
393
00:17:39,879 --> 00:17:43,447
Yes, that's why all these
good people are here today.
394
00:17:43,515 --> 00:17:44,782
Am I right?
395
00:17:44,850 --> 00:17:46,951
Then resurrect this--
396
00:17:47,019 --> 00:17:48,920
--Titmouse.
397
00:17:48,987 --> 00:17:50,221
That's right!
398
00:17:50,288 --> 00:17:51,522
A dead bird.
399
00:17:51,590 --> 00:17:55,927
Surely no match for the resurrector.
400
00:17:55,994 --> 00:17:58,028
I'm calling bull...
401
00:17:58,096 --> 00:18:01,397
poop that smells, Mister.
402
00:18:01,465 --> 00:18:02,699
What the fuck are you doing?
403
00:18:02,767 --> 00:18:05,902
Taking a stand and
telling everyone here
404
00:18:05,970 --> 00:18:09,439
that he faked his own sister's death.
405
00:18:11,776 --> 00:18:14,576
Hey, where you going?
Come back!
406
00:18:14,644 --> 00:18:15,778
What happened, Richard?
407
00:18:15,846 --> 00:18:18,547
What happened to the Last Honest Man?
408
00:18:18,615 --> 00:18:20,883
Ice cream!
409
00:18:23,453 --> 00:18:24,787
Ice cream!
410
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:38,099
Problem solved, Baby...
411
00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:43,471
It's not what it looks like.
412
00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:46,506
Fuck, Lainey.
413
00:18:46,574 --> 00:18:48,008
The gay mafia's after me.
414
00:18:48,076 --> 00:18:49,542
I need this cash.
415
00:18:49,610 --> 00:18:52,545
I can't go find some
rich fuck like you.
416
00:18:52,613 --> 00:18:55,649
All I got is my sparkling
personality and this scam.
417
00:18:55,716 --> 00:18:57,617
And me.
418
00:18:57,685 --> 00:18:59,186
I wasn't going to take you.
419
00:18:59,254 --> 00:19:01,453
But I rose from the dead!
420
00:19:01,521 --> 00:19:02,822
You said this was our thing.
421
00:19:02,890 --> 00:19:05,024
You said if I helped
hide this from Mom--
422
00:19:10,197 --> 00:19:12,598
The little shit was right about you!
423
00:19:18,570 --> 00:19:20,071
Fuck.
424
00:19:21,674 --> 00:19:23,675
Lainey!
425
00:19:30,749 --> 00:19:32,750
Go get me a scotch.
426
00:19:32,818 --> 00:19:33,818
Fuck you.
427
00:19:33,885 --> 00:19:35,786
All of you.
428
00:19:35,854 --> 00:19:38,588
From this moment forward,
I am emancipating myself
429
00:19:38,656 --> 00:19:41,325
from this family!
430
00:19:41,392 --> 00:19:43,294
Now that's a fucking miracle.
431
00:20:15,358 --> 00:20:17,292
You think I'm going to roll
over for you, Chester?
432
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:20,928
You think I don't know that
leadership requires sacrifice?
433
00:20:20,996 --> 00:20:22,763
You think I wouldn't be
able to bury people alive
434
00:20:22,831 --> 00:20:24,932
to ensure the survival of my country?
435
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,569
I know that sometimes you have
to chop someone's head off!
436
00:20:28,636 --> 00:20:30,137
I'm just as tough as Idi Amin.
437
00:20:30,205 --> 00:20:32,974
I'm just as tough as any
of those motherfuckers!
438
00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:55,627
Ow... ow...
439
00:21:05,171 --> 00:21:08,274
It's over for good this time, Roger.
440
00:21:08,341 --> 00:21:10,275
May I call you Roger?
441
00:21:14,113 --> 00:21:16,047
Iris--
442
00:21:16,115 --> 00:21:18,116
Don't speak.
443
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,421
I'm sorry I ran away before.
444
00:21:23,488 --> 00:21:25,088
Things are complicated.
445
00:21:25,156 --> 00:21:27,925
But so what, right?
446
00:21:27,992 --> 00:21:30,260
Tell that to the titmouse.
447
00:21:32,663 --> 00:21:36,166
I would like to go
for ice cream with you.
448
00:21:36,234 --> 00:21:38,335
So much ice cream.
449
00:21:38,403 --> 00:21:39,937
I would like to go
for ice cream with you
450
00:21:40,004 --> 00:21:42,071
more than you could ever imagine.
451
00:21:47,244 --> 00:21:51,647
I told Richard miracles don't happen
452
00:21:51,714 --> 00:21:55,084
but this is a miracle.
453
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,420
Oh, Iris --
454
00:21:58,487 --> 00:22:01,990
There is just one thing I need to do.
455
00:22:02,058 --> 00:22:04,759
I know, Larry.
456
00:22:04,827 --> 00:22:06,894
Would you just...
Thanks.
457
00:22:13,168 --> 00:22:17,037
This is Melody Gray reporting
live outside City Hall.
458
00:22:17,105 --> 00:22:21,541
Exit polls show Chester Vince
with a commanding lead.
459
00:22:21,609 --> 00:22:23,777
No doubt this is in
response to this reporter's
460
00:22:23,845 --> 00:22:26,146
shocking expos� of local lothario
461
00:22:26,214 --> 00:22:27,848
and rumored polygamist cult leader,
462
00:22:27,915 --> 00:22:30,216
Richard Fitzpatrick.
463
00:22:30,284 --> 00:22:32,185
The dream is dead, Fitz.
464
00:22:34,921 --> 00:22:37,090
Josh, how many times
do I have to tell you,
465
00:22:37,157 --> 00:22:38,958
a bookstore is not a strip club.
466
00:22:39,026 --> 00:22:40,693
Larry paid me to bring you here.
467
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,061
In coffee.
468
00:22:42,129 --> 00:22:43,829
I got nothing to say
to that backstabber.
469
00:22:43,897 --> 00:22:46,465
There are miracles, Richard.
470
00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:48,100
There are.
471
00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:49,234
Iris came back to me.
472
00:22:49,302 --> 00:22:50,869
Good.
473
00:22:50,936 --> 00:22:54,139
That makes up for the shit
storm you turned my life into.
474
00:22:54,207 --> 00:22:55,240
I know you're upset.
475
00:22:55,308 --> 00:22:56,475
And, as your conscience,
476
00:22:56,542 --> 00:22:58,477
I feel you deserve one last shot.
477
00:22:58,544 --> 00:23:00,545
And I deserve a coffee.
478
00:23:00,613 --> 00:23:02,113
We may be down in the polls.
Broke.
479
00:23:02,180 --> 00:23:04,281
And have lost the holy war.
480
00:23:04,349 --> 00:23:06,450
But there is one thing
you have not tried.
481
00:23:06,518 --> 00:23:07,951
The pumpkin scones.
482
00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:09,820
They're amazing.
483
00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:11,655
Prayer.
484
00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:13,057
Fuck off, Larry.
485
00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:14,992
All that faith crap was just bullshit.
486
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:16,293
Since you're banned from...
487
00:23:16,361 --> 00:23:17,760
every church in town,
488
00:23:17,828 --> 00:23:19,195
I thought we could try
the theology section.
489
00:23:19,263 --> 00:23:22,865
Still holy and thirty percent off.
490
00:23:22,933 --> 00:23:25,402
Please Richard, one little prayer.
491
00:23:25,469 --> 00:23:28,171
How can it hurt?
492
00:23:28,239 --> 00:23:31,307
I'll buy you a coffee.
493
00:23:31,375 --> 00:23:34,476
Fine. Tall half skinny one
percent extra hot split
494
00:23:34,544 --> 00:23:36,811
quad shot half sweet
caramel macchiato.
495
00:23:36,879 --> 00:23:39,648
No whip.
Okay, whip.
496
00:23:39,715 --> 00:23:41,716
Chocolate sprinkles?
I'm not gay.
497
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,922
After all, how can
this city be expected
498
00:23:46,989 --> 00:23:49,390
to trust a councillor who
can't even make good
499
00:23:49,458 --> 00:23:52,326
on a promise to resurrect a dead bird?
500
00:23:52,394 --> 00:23:53,928
And with the polls about to close,
501
00:23:53,995 --> 00:23:55,796
this reporter is confident
502
00:23:55,864 --> 00:23:58,533
in declaring Chester Vince the winner.
503
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,134
We'll see about that.
504
00:24:10,078 --> 00:24:11,978
Hey, God.
505
00:24:12,046 --> 00:24:13,547
It's me, Fitz.
506
00:24:13,614 --> 00:24:15,415
I need to speak to Frank.
507
00:24:16,451 --> 00:24:19,886
Uh...hey, Frank.
508
00:24:19,954 --> 00:24:24,190
I don't know if you're
listening, but how you doin'?
509
00:24:24,257 --> 00:24:26,258
Hope that bus crash with
the cheerleaders last week
510
00:24:26,326 --> 00:24:29,661
spiced the party up a bit,
know what I mean?
511
00:24:29,729 --> 00:24:32,064
Fuck, I don't know what I mean.
512
00:24:34,434 --> 00:24:37,002
Fuck, Frank.
513
00:24:37,070 --> 00:24:39,937
A guy needs a break
once in a while, you know?
514
00:24:40,005 --> 00:24:43,007
Cold streak's gotta end.
515
00:24:43,075 --> 00:24:46,377
I'm a good guy...
516
00:24:46,445 --> 00:24:49,481
Look, here's the thing.
517
00:24:49,548 --> 00:24:51,249
I'm having a kid.
518
00:24:51,317 --> 00:24:53,517
...And I don't want
the little fucker
519
00:24:53,585 --> 00:24:56,653
to think I'm a loser like my old man.
520
00:24:56,721 --> 00:25:00,324
I got to win this fucking election.
521
00:25:00,391 --> 00:25:01,725
Throw me a bone, will ya, Frank?
522
00:25:01,792 --> 00:25:03,260
Fitz?
523
00:25:03,328 --> 00:25:04,894
Oh, and...
524
00:25:04,962 --> 00:25:07,697
If you could you make sure
he's got a decent head of hair.
525
00:25:07,765 --> 00:25:10,266
No tail.
526
00:25:10,334 --> 00:25:12,034
Amen.
527
00:25:23,514 --> 00:25:24,947
Good enough.
528
00:25:28,484 --> 00:25:31,853
This is Melody Gray reporting
live outside City Hall.
529
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,656
And I am getting the
official announcement now...
530
00:25:34,723 --> 00:25:36,924
You've got to be fucking kidding me.
531
00:25:36,992 --> 00:25:38,726
Richard Fitzpatrick won?
532
00:25:38,794 --> 00:25:40,962
Ha ha!
That's right, Fuckers!
533
00:25:41,030 --> 00:25:42,062
Fitz won!
534
00:25:42,130 --> 00:25:43,797
And I won it for him!
535
00:25:43,865 --> 00:25:45,466
Woo hoo!
536
00:25:45,534 --> 00:25:48,569
Suck it, Coverton!
Suck it hard!
537
00:25:48,637 --> 00:25:50,638
Yeah!
538
00:25:51,838 --> 00:26:02,740
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
539
00:26:02,790 --> 00:26:07,340
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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