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1
00:00:28,780 --> 00:00:30,381
FITZ, NARRATING:
Take it from Fitzy, kids.
2
00:00:30,382 --> 00:00:32,450
There's only one secret
to staying alive
3
00:00:32,451 --> 00:00:33,851
in this messed up world,
4
00:00:33,852 --> 00:00:37,655
and that's taking care
of numero uno,
5
00:00:37,656 --> 00:00:41,392
keeping track,
being in control.
6
00:00:41,393 --> 00:00:43,594
Self-control
is a martial art.
7
00:00:43,595 --> 00:00:46,263
Total control of your emotions,
8
00:00:46,264 --> 00:00:51,201
behaviour and desire takes
training, practice, focus.
9
00:00:51,202 --> 00:00:52,236
What the fuck?
10
00:00:52,237 --> 00:00:54,137
Saving that last inch of Scotch
11
00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:57,474
for the next morning:
self-control.
12
00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:58,907
Passing up a blowjob
13
00:00:58,908 --> 00:01:02,411
because she might have
herpes: self-control.
14
00:01:02,412 --> 00:01:04,947
Convincing some guy
with a shotgun
15
00:01:04,948 --> 00:01:05,948
that you didn't just
fuck his wife,
16
00:01:05,949 --> 00:01:08,150
without pissing your pants,
17
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:11,287
Frank Sinatra wrote
a song about that one.
18
00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:13,623
(Country Western tune
playing over speaker)
19
00:01:13,624 --> 00:01:15,523
What the fuck?
20
00:01:20,095 --> 00:01:21,596
(Engine roaring)
21
00:01:21,597 --> 00:01:24,065
So maybe some weird
shit's been happening,
22
00:01:24,066 --> 00:01:27,201
shit I had nothing to do with.
(Siren wailing)
23
00:01:27,202 --> 00:01:28,970
It's going to take a lot more
than a run of bad luck
24
00:01:28,971 --> 00:01:32,606
and blackouts to take down
Richard Fitzpatrick.
25
00:01:32,607 --> 00:01:35,175
Motherfucker!
26
00:01:36,344 --> 00:01:41,114
27
00:01:41,115 --> 00:01:43,083
Without you
28
00:01:43,084 --> 00:01:47,287
I'd find my smile
29
00:01:47,288 --> 00:01:50,023
Without you
30
00:01:50,024 --> 00:01:52,525
I'd have won by a mile
31
00:01:52,526 --> 00:01:54,895
Without you
32
00:01:54,896 --> 00:01:58,598
Oh, life would be so grand
33
00:01:58,599 --> 00:02:00,667
Without you
34
00:02:00,668 --> 00:02:02,735
I'm half a man
35
00:02:02,736 --> 00:02:06,471
Without you
36
00:02:07,805 --> 00:02:18,017
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
37
00:02:27,860 --> 00:02:30,561
Oh, Richard!
Oh, thank God I found you.
38
00:02:30,562 --> 00:02:31,662
Now it's you turn to hide.
39
00:02:31,663 --> 00:02:32,763
Go. I'll count
to a trillion.
40
00:02:32,764 --> 00:02:34,265
This is no time for jokes.
41
00:02:34,266 --> 00:02:35,899
You've been missing
for two days,
42
00:02:39,270 --> 00:02:40,437
Sonja is missing.
43
00:02:40,438 --> 00:02:42,005
Sonja is not fucking missing.
44
00:02:42,006 --> 00:02:44,007
She's just trying
to teach me a lesson.
45
00:02:44,008 --> 00:02:45,709
The dealership is crawling
with police officers.
46
00:02:45,710 --> 00:02:47,344
Fuck, Albertan?
47
00:02:47,345 --> 00:02:49,346
You cannot drown your
problems in alcohol.
48
00:02:49,347 --> 00:02:50,714
God, I wish I could.
49
00:02:50,715 --> 00:02:51,914
I'd start by drowning you.
50
00:02:51,915 --> 00:02:53,082
(Phone ringing)
51
00:02:54,985 --> 00:02:57,519
"Farmington
Detention Facility"?
52
00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:59,488
RECORDING: You have a collect
call from--
53
00:02:59,489 --> 00:03:03,259
Get me the fuck out
of here! It's Mom.
54
00:03:03,260 --> 00:03:04,493
Oh, fuck.
55
00:03:04,494 --> 00:03:05,862
Just what I need today.
56
00:03:05,863 --> 00:03:07,062
Is it Sonja?
Is she all right?
57
00:03:07,063 --> 00:03:09,331
Listen, fuck face,
Sonja is fine.
58
00:03:09,332 --> 00:03:10,531
Every time we break up,
59
00:03:10,532 --> 00:03:11,933
she goes into
hiding for a week.
60
00:03:11,934 --> 00:03:14,269
Or dark forces are
conspiring against you,
61
00:03:14,270 --> 00:03:16,371
and Sonja's
their latest casualty.
62
00:03:16,372 --> 00:03:17,672
I need a drink.
63
00:03:17,673 --> 00:03:18,673
No, no!
64
00:03:18,674 --> 00:03:20,808
You need to rest
and clear your head.
65
00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:22,043
No, cum puddle.
66
00:03:22,044 --> 00:03:24,945
What I need is to get some
rest and clear my head,
67
00:03:24,946 --> 00:03:27,481
so I can figure out
what to fucking do next.
68
00:03:28,884 --> 00:03:30,184
Give me that fucking bottle!
69
00:03:30,185 --> 00:03:31,385
No, no, wait, wait, wait.
70
00:03:31,386 --> 00:03:33,153
Only-- Only if
you stay here,
71
00:03:33,154 --> 00:03:34,454
where I can keep track of you.
72
00:03:34,455 --> 00:03:36,190
Just-- Just let
me deal with this.
73
00:03:36,191 --> 00:03:37,958
And how are you going
to do that?
74
00:03:39,226 --> 00:03:40,559
I know.
75
00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:41,861
I'll find that
fortune-teller.
76
00:03:41,862 --> 00:03:43,562
Yeah, because there must
be more to this prophecy:
77
00:03:43,563 --> 00:03:45,098
a loophole, another clue.
78
00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:47,466
Here! I'm on it.
79
00:03:48,468 --> 00:03:49,936
Get me a burrito.
(Door closing)
80
00:03:49,937 --> 00:03:50,937
LARRY:
Extra salsa?
81
00:03:50,938 --> 00:03:55,507
What the fuck do you think?
82
00:03:55,508 --> 00:03:56,641
Ugh!
83
00:03:56,642 --> 00:03:58,242
84
00:04:04,450 --> 00:04:06,818
MEGHAN:
Yes, I found Sonja's car,
85
00:04:06,819 --> 00:04:09,187
and I can assure
as assistant office manger--
86
00:04:09,188 --> 00:04:10,322
She was missing for how long
87
00:04:10,323 --> 00:04:12,290
before anyone noticed
before she was gone?
88
00:04:12,291 --> 00:04:13,958
Look, you know how
crazy broads get
89
00:04:13,959 --> 00:04:15,726
when they get that monthly
Rorschach test
90
00:04:15,727 --> 00:04:16,727
in their panties.
91
00:04:16,728 --> 00:04:17,828
Just hurry up.
92
00:04:17,829 --> 00:04:19,196
Get out of here.
93
00:04:19,197 --> 00:04:20,564
You're frightening off
the customers.
94
00:04:20,565 --> 00:04:21,698
Oh, I agree, Daddy.
95
00:04:21,699 --> 00:04:24,368
This is really not good
for business so--
96
00:04:24,369 --> 00:04:26,037
I meant you.
97
00:04:26,038 --> 00:04:27,137
What?
98
00:04:27,138 --> 00:04:28,204
Ugh!
99
00:04:30,107 --> 00:04:32,642
That rodeo tramp couldn't
find her ass with a map.
100
00:04:32,643 --> 00:04:34,210
She'll find something.
101
00:04:34,211 --> 00:04:36,947
Your son isn't as smart
as he thinks he is.
102
00:04:36,948 --> 00:04:38,514
When he was in kindergarten,
103
00:04:38,515 --> 00:04:40,783
that knob gobbler
flunked recess.
104
00:04:40,784 --> 00:04:42,919
(Giggling)
His favourite colour was four.
105
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:46,088
He thinks Planet of the Apes
is a documentary.
106
00:04:46,089 --> 00:04:48,623
He thinks vagina is
a city in Saskatchewan.
107
00:04:48,624 --> 00:04:51,593
He thinks General Motors
is the name of a soldier.
108
00:04:51,594 --> 00:04:53,228
He's so stupid.
109
00:04:53,229 --> 00:04:57,132
He's... so...
110
00:04:57,133 --> 00:04:59,800
stupid.
111
00:04:59,801 --> 00:05:01,802
Ew, really?
112
00:05:01,803 --> 00:05:03,137
You and the petrified penis?
113
00:05:03,138 --> 00:05:04,805
What a cute couple you make.
114
00:05:04,806 --> 00:05:06,274
He's more of a man
than you'll ever be.
115
00:05:06,275 --> 00:05:08,542
You got a lot of balls
showing your face in here.
116
00:05:08,543 --> 00:05:10,278
I got a lot more
balls than you.
117
00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:11,812
You're letting skirts
fight your battles now?
118
00:05:11,813 --> 00:05:14,615
You've been harassing
Dot for weeks now.
119
00:05:14,616 --> 00:05:16,683
Now I'm missing
my favourite receptionist.
120
00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:18,218
I wonder what
the police will think
121
00:05:18,219 --> 00:05:19,319
when I tell them
about the problems
122
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,554
you two were having,
the arguments.
123
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:23,723
She was distraught over you.
124
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,459
She's not missing,
you human urinal.
125
00:05:25,460 --> 00:05:28,561
She's at home, crying
into her Ben & Jerry's.
126
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,130
Yeah, you stick to that story.
127
00:05:30,131 --> 00:05:32,999
You'll be a prison-shower
luffa by the end of the week.
128
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,300
Now get the fuck off my lot.
129
00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:35,968
I got a stake in this
fucking dealership.
130
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:37,203
I'm a partner.
131
00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:41,340
Mm, from what I remember,
a very small partner.
132
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,341
(Laughing)
133
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,776
(Laughing)
134
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:48,713
Call me Mom.
135
00:05:48,714 --> 00:05:51,349
(Phone ringing)
136
00:05:53,785 --> 00:05:55,653
You want to play
tough, old man?
137
00:05:55,654 --> 00:05:58,956
I'll hit you with an old bat.
138
00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:01,226
(Door opening)
139
00:06:01,227 --> 00:06:02,394
Josh! Josh!
140
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:03,427
I need your help.
141
00:06:03,428 --> 00:06:04,928
No.
No-- Oh, God.
142
00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:07,164
It's for Richard, a mission.
143
00:06:07,165 --> 00:06:08,932
If you want to get rid of
that two-faced ex-girlfriend
144
00:06:08,933 --> 00:06:10,100
of mine, I'm down.
145
00:06:10,101 --> 00:06:11,435
If you want to get nachos,
I'm also down.
146
00:06:11,436 --> 00:06:13,537
But I rather get rid of Dot
and then get some nachos.
147
00:06:13,538 --> 00:06:15,572
Okay.
I've already been working on a plan.
148
00:06:15,573 --> 00:06:17,241
Now, the table is the dealership.
Good.
149
00:06:17,242 --> 00:06:18,909
This beer bottle is Fitzy.
Yeah.
150
00:06:18,910 --> 00:06:20,476
These pliers are Dot.
151
00:06:20,477 --> 00:06:22,578
This used teabag is you.
Why am I the--?
152
00:06:22,579 --> 00:06:23,579
And this is me.
153
00:06:23,580 --> 00:06:24,647
Now, Dot leaves the dealership
154
00:06:24,648 --> 00:06:27,083
at 5:00 p.m.
exactly every night.
155
00:06:27,084 --> 00:06:28,951
I follow her out.
156
00:06:28,952 --> 00:06:30,953
(Imitating flipping sounds)
157
00:06:30,954 --> 00:06:32,288
When she drives away--
158
00:06:32,289 --> 00:06:33,889
(Imitating engine roaring)
159
00:06:33,890 --> 00:06:35,223
I signal to you
guys that she's gone.
160
00:06:35,224 --> 00:06:36,558
Guys, she's gone!
161
00:06:36,559 --> 00:06:37,692
(Imitating machine-gun fire)
162
00:06:37,693 --> 00:06:39,727
(Imitating explosion)
163
00:06:39,728 --> 00:06:40,728
(Imitating flipping sounds)
164
00:06:40,729 --> 00:06:42,397
(Imitating explosion)
165
00:06:42,398 --> 00:06:44,299
And then you, me and Fitz all
run back in the dealership.
166
00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:45,667
(Imitating rough conversation)
167
00:06:45,668 --> 00:06:46,601
"I'm tall."
"Shut the fuck up, Larry."
168
00:06:46,602 --> 00:06:47,602
"Ring, a-ding, ding."
169
00:06:47,603 --> 00:06:51,372
And then we lock the doors.
170
00:06:54,309 --> 00:06:56,677
Lock ourselves
inside the dealership?
171
00:06:56,678 --> 00:06:57,978
That's your plan?
172
00:06:57,979 --> 00:06:59,046
Well, it's Plan A.
173
00:06:59,047 --> 00:07:00,948
Still got Plan B, C, D and F.
174
00:07:00,949 --> 00:07:03,084
Okay, well, what's Plan E?
Plan E?
175
00:07:03,085 --> 00:07:05,086
Jesus, Larry, I thought
you of all people
176
00:07:05,087 --> 00:07:07,554
would appreciate the value
of human life. You're--
177
00:07:07,555 --> 00:07:09,622
Josh, Josh, I need your
help for Richard!
178
00:07:09,623 --> 00:07:11,857
If you want to get rid
179
00:07:11,858 --> 00:07:13,326
of that two-faced
ex-girlfriend of mine, I'm down.
180
00:07:13,327 --> 00:07:15,095
If you want to get nachos,
I'm also down.
181
00:07:15,096 --> 00:07:18,764
Shut your mouth!
182
00:07:20,468 --> 00:07:21,734
(Keys jangling)
183
00:07:21,735 --> 00:07:24,203
(Buzzer sounding)
184
00:07:24,204 --> 00:07:25,804
185
00:07:40,319 --> 00:07:44,355
That will be all.
Yes, ma'am.
186
00:07:46,358 --> 00:07:50,629
"Smoking can harm
or kill your baby."
187
00:07:52,965 --> 00:07:54,766
Now they tell me.
188
00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:57,434
Shoplifting, huh?
189
00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:58,836
(Fitz laughing)
190
00:07:58,837 --> 00:08:00,203
Amateur.
191
00:08:00,204 --> 00:08:02,339
Support hose aren't cheap, kid.
192
00:08:02,340 --> 00:08:03,774
You want out of here?
193
00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:05,843
Sign this.
194
00:08:05,844 --> 00:08:08,712
I need temporary proxy control
of your share of the dealership.
195
00:08:08,713 --> 00:08:10,614
We all need something, baby.
196
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,348
Ken's got himself
a new psycho harpy.
197
00:08:12,349 --> 00:08:13,616
They're trying to squeeze me
198
00:08:13,617 --> 00:08:16,019
out of my dealership
and have me arrested.
199
00:08:16,020 --> 00:08:19,321
I'll put that on the top of the
list of shit I don't care about.
200
00:08:19,322 --> 00:08:21,190
I'm just trying to level
the playing field.
201
00:08:21,191 --> 00:08:22,825
Ken's got a psycho harpy.
202
00:08:22,826 --> 00:08:25,227
I need one too.
Fire with fire.
203
00:08:25,228 --> 00:08:26,663
You know the deal.
204
00:08:29,699 --> 00:08:30,932
I'm the only one
that can control
205
00:08:30,933 --> 00:08:34,235
that bastard you call a father.
206
00:08:34,236 --> 00:08:35,603
What's in it for me?
207
00:08:35,604 --> 00:08:40,542
How about I don't leave
you here to rot alone?
208
00:08:40,543 --> 00:08:42,143
209
00:09:14,341 --> 00:09:15,341
(Gears cranking)
210
00:09:15,342 --> 00:09:16,341
Albertan?
211
00:09:16,342 --> 00:09:17,943
What, are you
trying to kill me?
212
00:09:17,944 --> 00:09:19,444
Don't tempt me.
213
00:09:19,445 --> 00:09:21,513
(Tires screeching)
214
00:09:28,154 --> 00:09:30,189
Darn it, Richard.
I told you to stay home.
215
00:09:30,190 --> 00:09:31,256
Oh, dear God!
216
00:09:31,257 --> 00:09:33,290
Still hanging out
with the beanstalk?
217
00:09:33,291 --> 00:09:35,226
Pays the bills.
218
00:09:35,227 --> 00:09:37,528
Uh, can I get you something?
219
00:09:37,529 --> 00:09:38,562
A drink?
220
00:09:38,563 --> 00:09:41,032
Maybe a bus ticket?
221
00:09:41,033 --> 00:09:42,867
I think I'm going
to freshen up.
222
00:09:42,868 --> 00:09:44,268
Where's your coke?
223
00:09:44,269 --> 00:09:45,603
Should be some
behind the soap dish.
224
00:09:45,604 --> 00:09:46,971
Okay.
(Sniffling)
225
00:09:46,972 --> 00:09:50,273
Richard, what is that
woman doing here?
226
00:09:50,274 --> 00:09:52,375
Dot Foxley's making
a romance play for Ken.
227
00:09:52,376 --> 00:09:54,244
She gets a share
of the dealership; I'm fucked.
228
00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:56,379
That still doesn't explain
your mother's presence.
229
00:09:56,380 --> 00:09:58,214
I'm going to lock Ken in
a room with that cock dragon
230
00:09:58,215 --> 00:10:00,315
until he swears off women
or kills himself.
231
00:10:00,316 --> 00:10:02,384
Either way, I win.
232
00:10:02,385 --> 00:10:04,453
Okay, okay, Richard,
we need to concentrate
233
00:10:04,454 --> 00:10:06,421
on finding that
fortune-teller.
234
00:10:06,422 --> 00:10:08,657
Now, look, I've learned that
many "carnival people"
235
00:10:08,658 --> 00:10:12,161
spend most of their off season
in a town not far from here.
236
00:10:12,162 --> 00:10:13,094
Now, if you're not going
to listen to me and rest,
237
00:10:13,095 --> 00:10:14,295
we should check that out.
238
00:10:14,296 --> 00:10:15,596
I just blew most
of my bank roll
239
00:10:15,597 --> 00:10:17,198
bailing out that sausage oven,
240
00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:18,967
and I still haven't paid
the Lebanese mob
241
00:10:18,968 --> 00:10:20,301
their weekly sanitation fee.
242
00:10:20,302 --> 00:10:21,569
If she bolts, I'm dead.
243
00:10:21,570 --> 00:10:23,772
Have you forgotten
what happened
244
00:10:23,773 --> 00:10:25,539
the last time we saw Elaine?
245
00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:26,707
You know what she's like.
246
00:10:26,708 --> 00:10:28,176
She only cares about one thing.
247
00:10:28,177 --> 00:10:29,676
That's right, Elaine!
248
00:10:29,677 --> 00:10:31,645
Uh, let's talk compensation.
249
00:10:31,646 --> 00:10:32,946
And money!
250
00:10:32,947 --> 00:10:33,947
Didn't I just bail you out?
251
00:10:33,948 --> 00:10:35,515
Mama needs some pocket change,
252
00:10:35,516 --> 00:10:36,716
10 large up front.
253
00:10:36,717 --> 00:10:38,485
Two now, the rest
when Dot Foxley's
254
00:10:38,486 --> 00:10:40,154
a bad stain on the bed sheets.
255
00:10:43,124 --> 00:10:45,524
Time for Mama to earn her
money the old-fashioned way,
256
00:10:45,525 --> 00:10:47,226
by actually earning it.
257
00:10:47,227 --> 00:10:48,427
Trust me, kid.
258
00:10:48,428 --> 00:10:51,898
I know how to push your
old man's buttons.
259
00:10:51,899 --> 00:10:55,467
Your paying your mother
to have sex with your father?
260
00:10:55,468 --> 00:10:57,569
Oh, Richard.
261
00:10:57,570 --> 00:10:58,737
Relax, Larry.
262
00:10:58,738 --> 00:11:02,540
How do you think they
met in the first place?
263
00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:10,581
Hi, we are a little
short-staffed today.
264
00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:12,150
Someone will be right with you.
265
00:11:12,151 --> 00:11:15,386
Okay.
266
00:11:15,387 --> 00:11:16,387
WOMAN:
I like it.
267
00:11:16,388 --> 00:11:20,024
MAN:
I like it as well...
268
00:11:20,025 --> 00:11:23,660
Well played,
Richard Fitzpatrick.
269
00:11:28,934 --> 00:11:31,235
Darling, there's something
I have to tell you.
270
00:11:31,236 --> 00:11:32,769
Cut the crap, legs.
271
00:11:32,770 --> 00:11:33,803
You're not the first broad
272
00:11:33,804 --> 00:11:35,972
to try and play me
by setting up house.
273
00:11:35,973 --> 00:11:37,173
And since the last one left me
274
00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:39,542
with two ungrateful
abominations,
275
00:11:39,543 --> 00:11:41,377
I'm not interested.
276
00:11:41,378 --> 00:11:43,346
You don't want to call
me your girlfriend?
277
00:11:43,347 --> 00:11:45,548
Fine, I'm not your girlfriend.
278
00:11:45,549 --> 00:11:47,683
Call me your pecker holster.
279
00:11:47,684 --> 00:11:49,151
Call me your whore.
280
00:11:49,152 --> 00:11:51,353
Call me Elaine.
I don't care.
281
00:11:51,354 --> 00:11:55,057
Just promise me
one thing. Call me.
282
00:11:55,058 --> 00:11:58,760
We could have a life
together, Ken Fitzpatrick.
283
00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:01,796
You, out.
284
00:12:01,797 --> 00:12:04,366
We'll continue our
conversation later.
285
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,001
Elaine.
286
00:12:07,002 --> 00:12:08,302
That's it?
287
00:12:08,303 --> 00:12:11,605
No, "Get out out my sight,
you desiccated penis glove"?
288
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,241
You got your divorce papers.
289
00:12:13,242 --> 00:12:15,910
You stole 25% of my dealership.
290
00:12:15,911 --> 00:12:18,346
So unless you're here
to suck my blood--
291
00:12:18,347 --> 00:12:19,446
I was thinking we
could get liquored up
292
00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:22,582
and then go at each
other like rabid dogs.
293
00:12:22,583 --> 00:12:27,153
Then go at each other
like rabid dogs.
294
00:12:33,861 --> 00:12:34,995
Scotch?
295
00:12:34,996 --> 00:12:37,429
What is that? Some kind
of a fucking joke?
296
00:12:37,430 --> 00:12:40,032
Oh, my God.
297
00:12:40,033 --> 00:12:42,467
Have you still got your
panties in a twist
298
00:12:42,468 --> 00:12:45,337
over that stupid
bottle of Scotch?
299
00:12:45,338 --> 00:12:46,738
It wasn't a stupid bottle.
300
00:12:46,739 --> 00:12:49,008
It was a goddamn
collector's item!
301
00:12:49,009 --> 00:12:51,710
Oh, get over it, Fitzpatrick.
302
00:12:51,711 --> 00:12:53,044
Life is too short.
303
00:12:53,045 --> 00:12:55,079
Foxley!
DOT: Yes, sir?
304
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,782
Do your job.
Take out the trash.
305
00:12:57,783 --> 00:12:59,784
That's a good way
to lose an arm, sweetheart.
306
00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:18,001
You mentioned
the fucking Scotch?
307
00:13:18,002 --> 00:13:19,236
You think he'd be
over it by now.
308
00:13:19,237 --> 00:13:20,837
Oh, fuck.
Shows what you know.
309
00:13:20,838 --> 00:13:23,206
That Scotch would be
worth a fortune by now.
310
00:13:23,207 --> 00:13:25,741
Enough to get those
Leb mobsters off my ass.
311
00:13:25,742 --> 00:13:27,343
I could hole up
somewhere nice and quiet,
312
00:13:27,344 --> 00:13:28,978
and just wait for
the fucking Beaver Moon.
313
00:13:28,979 --> 00:13:30,313
The Beaver--
What the fuck?
314
00:13:30,314 --> 00:13:32,381
Don't worry about it.
Just do your fucking job.
315
00:13:32,382 --> 00:13:34,417
Don't fill your diapers.
I'll get it done.
316
00:13:34,418 --> 00:13:35,617
Not if you're back
in jail you won't.
317
00:13:35,618 --> 00:13:37,219
You wouldn't dare.
318
00:13:37,220 --> 00:13:39,488
You're the one who taught me to
never get stuck with a lemon.
319
00:13:39,489 --> 00:13:40,823
You ungrateful bastard.
320
00:13:40,824 --> 00:13:42,157
And you wonder why I left?
321
00:13:42,158 --> 00:13:43,425
Oh, I know why you left.
322
00:13:43,426 --> 00:13:44,892
Mommy, loves you, honey.
323
00:13:44,893 --> 00:13:47,429
She just loves vodka
a little more.
324
00:13:47,430 --> 00:13:48,930
For five years I thought
vodka was my brother
325
00:13:48,931 --> 00:13:50,932
you kept in the cupboard.
326
00:13:50,933 --> 00:13:52,334
You know what?
327
00:13:52,335 --> 00:13:53,268
When you're done
strolling down memory lane,
328
00:13:53,269 --> 00:13:55,203
wake me up.
Memory lane.
329
00:13:57,340 --> 00:13:59,640
Memory lane.
330
00:13:59,641 --> 00:14:00,842
If we can remind the old man
331
00:14:00,843 --> 00:14:02,409
of what a misery
it is being married,
332
00:14:02,410 --> 00:14:03,778
Dot won't stand a chance.
333
00:14:03,779 --> 00:14:06,180
Family trip like the old days?
334
00:14:06,181 --> 00:14:07,582
Yeah.
335
00:14:07,583 --> 00:14:09,784
Well, good luck getting that
lard ass out of his recliner.
336
00:14:09,785 --> 00:14:12,353
That's easy.
337
00:14:12,354 --> 00:14:14,020
Daddy, tax man!
338
00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:15,621
339
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,798
See, I'm good for things.
340
00:14:24,799 --> 00:14:26,065
I'm helpful.
341
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:27,701
I'm a valuable part
of this business.
342
00:14:27,702 --> 00:14:30,769
Over here.
Come on. Come on!
343
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,741
Elaine? What the fuck
is this shit?
344
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:37,977
Mom? So, what,
there's no tax man?
345
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:40,012
This is why you made
me lie to Daddy?
346
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,013
What the fuck?
347
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:42,447
Nobody tells me anything!
348
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:45,017
Hello, uh...
349
00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:46,283
Meghan.
350
00:14:46,284 --> 00:14:48,185
I always hated that name.
Seriously, Daddy.
351
00:14:48,186 --> 00:14:50,154
I had no idea.
352
00:14:50,155 --> 00:14:52,356
You fuckers really think
you can kidnap me?
353
00:14:52,357 --> 00:14:54,492
Who the fuck would pay
to get you back?
354
00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:56,127
I demand answers.
Why are you even here?
355
00:14:56,128 --> 00:14:57,795
Well, your brother needed help.
356
00:14:57,796 --> 00:14:59,296
Oh, so you just
come running? Hah!
357
00:14:59,297 --> 00:15:00,532
What about me?
What about my needs?
358
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:01,832
Ten grand, she's all yours.
359
00:15:01,833 --> 00:15:03,700
Would somebody just
fucking shoot me?
360
00:15:03,701 --> 00:15:05,068
You're not getting off
that easy, old man.
361
00:15:05,069 --> 00:15:06,570
Just drive.
362
00:15:06,571 --> 00:15:07,738
MEGHAN:
We're going somewhere?
363
00:15:07,739 --> 00:15:08,872
You never told me
we're going somewhere.
364
00:15:08,873 --> 00:15:10,173
You're trying to leave
me behind again.
365
00:15:10,174 --> 00:15:12,509
MEGHAN: That's just great.
Mom? Daddy?
366
00:15:12,510 --> 00:15:15,546
I swear to fucking God!
367
00:15:15,547 --> 00:15:16,780
(Tires screeching)
368
00:15:21,217 --> 00:15:24,854
(Bird squawking)
369
00:15:24,855 --> 00:15:26,355
Her name is Laverne,
370
00:15:26,356 --> 00:15:31,360
and she lives
in a gypsy caravan?
371
00:15:31,361 --> 00:15:33,162
Never heard of her.
372
00:15:33,163 --> 00:15:34,395
Okay, okay, well,
if you do come across her,
373
00:15:34,396 --> 00:15:37,265
please, give me a call, okay?
374
00:15:37,266 --> 00:15:42,270
Because a man's life and that
of his conscience depends on it.
375
00:15:42,271 --> 00:15:43,772
(Sighing) Freak.
376
00:15:45,975 --> 00:15:47,709
I would pay to see not
to watch her shave.
377
00:15:47,710 --> 00:15:49,444
We should have found
Laverne by now.
378
00:15:49,445 --> 00:15:52,245
God knows what Richard
and his mother are up to.
379
00:15:52,246 --> 00:15:54,081
This is not good, Josh.
380
00:15:54,082 --> 00:15:55,215
This is really bad.
381
00:15:55,216 --> 00:15:56,483
I have memories of Ulie.
382
00:15:56,484 --> 00:15:58,018
He was a good friend.
383
00:15:58,019 --> 00:15:59,553
At least I thought he was.
384
00:15:59,554 --> 00:16:01,188
Turns out Ulie was
a double agent,
385
00:16:01,189 --> 00:16:02,756
and I was ordered
to terminate him.
386
00:16:02,757 --> 00:16:05,992
As I was tailing him,
I got surrounded, ambushed.
387
00:16:05,993 --> 00:16:08,260
So I barricaded myself
in this farmhouse.
388
00:16:08,261 --> 00:16:10,563
And he was there.
389
00:16:10,564 --> 00:16:12,966
I couldn't do it, man.
390
00:16:12,967 --> 00:16:17,436
I c-couldn't kill him.
391
00:16:17,437 --> 00:16:18,471
Because he was your friend.
392
00:16:18,472 --> 00:16:20,807
Because he was a zombie, man.
393
00:16:20,808 --> 00:16:25,043
Because he was a zombie.
394
00:16:25,044 --> 00:16:26,644
395
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:46,664
The old Fitzpatrick shithole.
396
00:16:46,665 --> 00:16:48,899
The happiest day
of my life was here,
397
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:52,202
the day I left you
two crap factories.
398
00:16:52,203 --> 00:16:54,270
(Sighing)
399
00:16:58,442 --> 00:17:00,944
I remember this tree.
400
00:17:00,945 --> 00:17:02,345
I used to try
and climb it everyday,
401
00:17:02,346 --> 00:17:03,747
and everyday the old
man used to tell me
402
00:17:03,748 --> 00:17:04,814
I'd never make it.
403
00:17:06,550 --> 00:17:09,285
Oh, my gosh,
are you going to cry?
404
00:17:09,286 --> 00:17:12,121
Hey, everyone,
Dick's going to cry!
405
00:17:12,122 --> 00:17:14,023
It wasn't just
a bottle of Scotch!
406
00:17:14,024 --> 00:17:17,492
Oh, Jesus, here we go.
ELAINE: It was your ego.
407
00:17:17,493 --> 00:17:20,129
Remember the last time they
fought about the Scotch?
408
00:17:20,130 --> 00:17:23,598
Yeah, it was the day
that Elaine left, perfect.
409
00:17:23,599 --> 00:17:25,967
How is that perfect?
410
00:17:25,968 --> 00:17:26,968
KEN:
That Scotch was from the--
411
00:17:26,969 --> 00:17:28,803
Kennedy Inauguration Ball.
412
00:17:28,804 --> 00:17:32,239
It had the executive
seal on it.
413
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:35,176
That Scotch was
part of history.
414
00:17:35,177 --> 00:17:37,278
You know how much
that bottle cost me?
415
00:17:37,279 --> 00:17:39,280
Nothing.
You stole it.
416
00:17:39,281 --> 00:17:40,381
And you know how I know?
417
00:17:40,382 --> 00:17:41,748
Because you never
shut up about it.
418
00:17:41,749 --> 00:17:44,051
That bottle of Scotch
ruined my childhood.
419
00:17:44,052 --> 00:17:45,251
(Sighing)
420
00:17:45,252 --> 00:17:48,121
With no mother to teach
me about boys or fashion
421
00:17:48,122 --> 00:17:51,124
or what to do when my
stocking went too far--
422
00:17:51,125 --> 00:17:52,492
You were better
off without her.
423
00:17:52,493 --> 00:17:54,027
You maybe. Not me.
424
00:17:54,028 --> 00:17:55,996
You know how
I learned about sex?
425
00:17:55,997 --> 00:17:57,763
Sneaking into your room
and looking at your porn.
426
00:17:57,764 --> 00:17:58,764
Yeah, I know.
427
00:17:58,765 --> 00:18:00,265
I read about it in your diary.
428
00:18:00,266 --> 00:18:01,801
You're not supposed
to look in my diary!
429
00:18:01,802 --> 00:18:03,803
FITZ: And you were supposed to
stay out of my fucking room!
430
00:18:03,804 --> 00:18:06,038
You loved that Scotch
more than you loved me.
431
00:18:06,039 --> 00:18:08,741
Why wouldn't I?
432
00:18:08,742 --> 00:18:10,509
Scotch keeps me warm.
433
00:18:10,510 --> 00:18:13,612
Scotch makes me feel
good about myself.
434
00:18:13,613 --> 00:18:15,180
Scotch gives me pleasure.
435
00:18:16,348 --> 00:18:18,717
And that bottle,
436
00:18:18,718 --> 00:18:20,085
that bottle would
be like sucking
437
00:18:20,086 --> 00:18:21,519
on the tit of a goddess.
438
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:22,553
Ooh!
439
00:18:22,554 --> 00:18:23,888
Just like always,
440
00:18:23,889 --> 00:18:25,690
blame all your
problems on Elaine.
441
00:18:25,691 --> 00:18:28,927
You did it on purpose.
442
00:18:28,928 --> 00:18:31,528
MEGHAN:
You knew Dad would blame Mom.
443
00:18:31,529 --> 00:18:35,065
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
444
00:18:35,066 --> 00:18:36,333
Daddy!
445
00:18:36,334 --> 00:18:39,002
Mom didn't take
that bottle of Scotch.
446
00:18:39,003 --> 00:18:40,704
It was Dick.
447
00:18:42,073 --> 00:18:44,474
Teach you to read
my fucking diary.
448
00:18:49,479 --> 00:18:52,414
LAVERNE: I heard you were
looking for me.
449
00:18:52,415 --> 00:18:54,550
Where did you come from?
450
00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:57,920
My van.
451
00:18:57,921 --> 00:18:59,688
Did the spirits send you?
452
00:18:59,689 --> 00:19:02,257
If by "spirits," you mean
Marty at the gas station,
453
00:19:02,258 --> 00:19:05,127
then, yes, the spirits sent me.
454
00:19:05,128 --> 00:19:06,694
What do you want?
455
00:19:06,695 --> 00:19:08,263
Oh, well, it's--
It's about Richard.
456
00:19:08,264 --> 00:19:09,231
See, it's almost
the Beaver Moon,
457
00:19:09,232 --> 00:19:10,465
but he still refuses to search
458
00:19:10,466 --> 00:19:12,968
for his shadowy figure,
let alone make amends.
459
00:19:12,969 --> 00:19:16,171
Oh, right, Fitz.
460
00:19:17,539 --> 00:19:19,907
Mm.
461
00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:21,708
Contacting the spirit world
462
00:19:21,709 --> 00:19:26,213
requires a distinct sensual
interaction on our part.
463
00:19:26,214 --> 00:19:28,048
And you're cute
464
00:19:28,049 --> 00:19:29,116
but you're not "freebie" cute.
465
00:19:29,117 --> 00:19:30,184
You feel me?
466
00:19:32,154 --> 00:19:33,587
You don't feel me.
467
00:19:33,588 --> 00:19:35,955
I need the big O
in order to talk to the dead.
468
00:19:35,956 --> 00:19:37,791
Oprah?
469
00:19:37,792 --> 00:19:39,092
The other big O.
470
00:19:39,093 --> 00:19:41,594
Oh, Oklahoma.
471
00:19:41,595 --> 00:19:43,863
200 bucks, save your friend.
472
00:19:43,864 --> 00:19:46,933
Yeah, that's a very
generous offer, Laverne,
473
00:19:46,934 --> 00:19:48,168
but I don't have two--
474
00:19:48,169 --> 00:19:51,569
Josh?
Oh, looks like it's all on you.
475
00:19:51,570 --> 00:19:52,905
Oh, no, but you know what?
476
00:19:52,906 --> 00:19:55,274
I'm actually a very
old-fashioned kind of guy.
477
00:19:55,275 --> 00:19:57,242
And we haven't even gone
on a date or held hands
478
00:19:57,243 --> 00:19:59,477
or laughed about something
that we both liked
479
00:19:59,478 --> 00:20:01,879
but that nobody else
in the world did.
480
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:05,149
I have a mattress in the back.
481
00:20:05,150 --> 00:20:07,585
Yeah, yeah, look, it's not
that I'm not attracted.
482
00:20:07,586 --> 00:20:08,486
It's just this whole--
483
00:20:08,487 --> 00:20:09,921
How do I put it?
484
00:20:09,922 --> 00:20:12,457
Yeah, unwashed public-toilet
seat quality to is.
485
00:20:12,458 --> 00:20:13,990
(Laughing)
486
00:20:13,991 --> 00:20:16,893
It's sanitized.
487
00:20:16,894 --> 00:20:20,964
Oh, I can do this for Richard.
488
00:20:22,434 --> 00:20:23,434
No, no!
489
00:20:23,435 --> 00:20:25,101
I am so sorry, Laverne.
490
00:20:25,102 --> 00:20:26,503
Please, don't take
it personally.
491
00:20:26,504 --> 00:20:27,771
You're a very beautiful woman.
492
00:20:27,772 --> 00:20:30,773
Who we just gave
$200 to. Origami.
493
00:20:30,774 --> 00:20:32,508
Then there's nothing
I can do for you.
494
00:20:32,509 --> 00:20:35,478
Please, there must be
some other way.
495
00:20:35,479 --> 00:20:38,381
(Sighing)
496
00:20:38,382 --> 00:20:40,316
What the fuck did you
do with my Scotch?
497
00:20:40,317 --> 00:20:41,751
How the fuck should I know?
498
00:20:41,752 --> 00:20:43,052
I was seven years old.
499
00:20:43,053 --> 00:20:44,754
Oh, why am I not surprised?
500
00:20:44,755 --> 00:20:48,724
Every broken vase,
every torched couch, you.
501
00:20:48,725 --> 00:20:50,158
Right, no one else is to blame.
502
00:20:50,159 --> 00:20:55,129
You know parenting requires
more than scowling and smoking?
503
00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:56,064
I didn't have
a childhood because of you.
504
00:20:56,065 --> 00:20:57,332
I ought to sue your ass.
505
00:20:57,333 --> 00:20:59,100
KEN: Fuck suing!
I'm going to kill him.
506
00:20:59,101 --> 00:21:00,569
You know how much that
bottle w w worth?
507
00:21:00,570 --> 00:21:02,570
FITZ, MEGHAN AND ELAINE:
Yes!
508
00:21:02,571 --> 00:21:05,239
You know what? Fuck you,
fuck you and fuck you.
509
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,308
This is all your fault.
510
00:21:08,309 --> 00:21:09,844
The little bastard framed me.
511
00:21:09,845 --> 00:21:11,545
He got the crazy from you!
512
00:21:11,546 --> 00:21:12,713
What'd he get from you?
513
00:21:12,714 --> 00:21:14,281
The premature ejaculation?
514
00:21:14,282 --> 00:21:18,918
Oh, that's right.
515
00:21:36,302 --> 00:21:38,370
X marks the spot.
516
00:21:43,877 --> 00:21:46,945
(Van creaking)
517
00:21:46,946 --> 00:21:48,013
Anything?
518
00:21:48,014 --> 00:21:49,314
LAVERNE:
This would go a lot faster
519
00:21:49,315 --> 00:21:50,648
if you stop talking.
520
00:21:50,649 --> 00:21:52,417
Sorry.
521
00:21:52,418 --> 00:21:53,618
How about now?
522
00:21:53,619 --> 00:21:56,086
LAVERNE:
Shut up.
523
00:21:56,087 --> 00:21:57,822
Oh. Oh.
524
00:21:57,823 --> 00:22:01,659
Oh. Oh.
525
00:22:01,660 --> 00:22:04,061
Ah.
526
00:22:04,062 --> 00:22:06,530
Okay.
527
00:22:09,333 --> 00:22:12,168
Ugh, that was the most
unsatisfying 200 I've ever made.
528
00:22:12,169 --> 00:22:13,603
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
what did the spirits say?
529
00:22:13,604 --> 00:22:14,971
Not much.
530
00:22:14,972 --> 00:22:16,573
They made fun of you for not
being able to seal the deal.
531
00:22:16,574 --> 00:22:19,108
And then they told me
532
00:22:19,109 --> 00:22:21,877
the shadowy figure
is closer than you think,
533
00:22:21,878 --> 00:22:23,913
and to keep watching
for the signs.
534
00:22:23,914 --> 00:22:25,380
No, but we've
already seen them.
535
00:22:25,381 --> 00:22:27,382
The train-track hickey,
the glass, the fire.
536
00:22:27,383 --> 00:22:29,552
Not a hickey, train tracks.
537
00:22:29,553 --> 00:22:31,186
Spirits are very literal.
538
00:22:31,187 --> 00:22:32,220
Yeah, Larry.
539
00:22:32,221 --> 00:22:33,956
Could you please
ask the spirits
540
00:22:33,957 --> 00:22:36,625
to be a little more specific?
541
00:22:36,626 --> 00:22:39,527
Sure, there's a bank machine
the next town over.
542
00:22:39,528 --> 00:22:41,796
Oh.
543
00:22:44,733 --> 00:22:46,768
"Closer than you think"?
544
00:22:46,769 --> 00:22:49,871
Oh, no, Elaine.
545
00:22:49,872 --> 00:22:51,439
So what did
the spirits say about me?
546
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:52,841
LARRY: Josh, we have
to go get Richard.
547
00:22:52,842 --> 00:22:54,741
Tell me later.
548
00:22:54,742 --> 00:22:55,809
(Sighing)
549
00:22:55,810 --> 00:22:57,410
550
00:23:13,126 --> 00:23:14,727
Holy shit.
551
00:23:14,728 --> 00:23:16,729
Holy shit.
552
00:23:16,730 --> 00:23:18,531
Keep your mouth shut,
and I'll split it with you.
553
00:23:18,532 --> 00:23:19,732
I hate Scotch.
554
00:23:19,733 --> 00:23:20,733
But you love money.
555
00:23:20,734 --> 00:23:22,568
What do you say? 80/20?
556
00:23:22,569 --> 00:23:23,903
Daddy, Richard
found your bottle!
557
00:23:23,904 --> 00:23:24,904
No, no, shh!
558
00:23:24,905 --> 00:23:26,738
Shut--
559
00:23:26,739 --> 00:23:28,573
Give me that bottle,
you ungrateful little shit!
560
00:23:28,574 --> 00:23:30,074
You want it?
Fire Dot.
561
00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:31,275
What?
You heard me.
562
00:23:31,276 --> 00:23:32,811
I want her out
of our lives, or I'll--
563
00:23:32,812 --> 00:23:34,178
No, no, no! Fine.
564
00:23:34,179 --> 00:23:35,279
She's toast.
565
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:36,948
Now give me.
566
00:23:38,985 --> 00:23:40,385
Thanks for your help, Mom.
567
00:23:40,386 --> 00:23:41,619
(Elaine gasping)
568
00:23:56,902 --> 00:24:00,003
Stupid shit-fuck.
569
00:24:00,004 --> 00:24:01,938
First cancer,
now my fucking Scotch.
570
00:24:01,939 --> 00:24:03,640
Cancer?
571
00:24:03,641 --> 00:24:05,542
Oh, so that's why
you've been going gaga
572
00:24:05,543 --> 00:24:08,277
after some skirt and whining
about your mortality.
573
00:24:08,278 --> 00:24:09,646
Cancer? Boo-hoo.
574
00:24:09,647 --> 00:24:12,515
Breasts, skin, ass.
575
00:24:12,516 --> 00:24:14,716
A slice, a little chemo,
good as new.
576
00:24:14,717 --> 00:24:19,087
Down a nut.
577
00:24:19,088 --> 00:24:23,324
You are Ken
fucking Fitzpatrick.
578
00:24:23,325 --> 00:24:25,761
You're twice the man
with one nut
579
00:24:25,762 --> 00:24:28,931
than junior could
ever be with four.
580
00:24:28,932 --> 00:24:31,532
You always had a way
to cheer me up.
581
00:24:31,533 --> 00:24:34,602
Shut up and fuck me.
582
00:24:34,603 --> 00:24:35,670
Oh!
583
00:24:41,476 --> 00:24:43,210
Something
Oh, Ken.
584
00:24:43,211 --> 00:24:44,946
Happens to me
585
00:24:44,947 --> 00:24:48,114
Mm.
586
00:24:48,115 --> 00:24:52,151
Are they eating each other?
587
00:24:52,152 --> 00:24:55,956
I think they're kissing.
588
00:24:55,957 --> 00:24:59,392
A strange kind
of chemical change
589
00:24:59,393 --> 00:25:03,062
Goes rushing through me
(Groaning)
590
00:25:03,063 --> 00:25:07,132
I know that mysterious glow
591
00:25:07,133 --> 00:25:09,501
Means you'll appeal
592
00:25:09,502 --> 00:25:10,936
And, darling
593
00:25:10,937 --> 00:25:15,574
Something happens to me
594
00:25:15,575 --> 00:25:17,542
In your eyes
595
00:25:17,543 --> 00:25:18,610
When I feel
596
00:25:18,611 --> 00:25:20,678
I call dibs on his watch.
597
00:25:20,679 --> 00:25:24,716
You're trembling too
598
00:25:24,717 --> 00:25:36,226
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
599
00:25:36,227 --> 00:25:39,229
In breathless wonder
600
00:25:39,230 --> 00:25:43,600
To see that when
something happens to me
601
00:25:43,601 --> 00:25:48,672
It happens to you
602
00:25:51,141 --> 00:25:56,145
It happens to you
603
00:25:56,146 --> 00:25:57,746
604
00:25:57,796 --> 00:26:02,346
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