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1
00:00:20,774 --> 00:00:22,374
FITZ, NARRATING: You know whata secret is?
2
00:00:22,375 --> 00:00:23,876
(Phone ringing)
It's a commodity.
3
00:00:23,877 --> 00:00:27,479
It's leverage, control.
4
00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:28,513
The old man's secret?
5
00:00:28,514 --> 00:00:29,849
(Zipper unzipping)
6
00:00:29,850 --> 00:00:33,252
That jerkoff still jerksoff to his ex-wife.
7
00:00:33,253 --> 00:00:36,988
Would one you stupid cock jerkys
answer the fucking phone?
8
00:00:36,989 --> 00:00:39,224
Why should I answer the phone?
9
00:00:39,225 --> 00:00:42,961
I'm the assistant office manger,
not some secretary!
10
00:00:42,962 --> 00:00:44,963
Meghan's secret is obvious.
11
00:00:44,964 --> 00:00:46,197
She's a hermaphrodite
12
00:00:46,198 --> 00:00:48,800
who bought her sonon the black market.
13
00:00:48,801 --> 00:00:50,902
At least that's whatI'm telling everyone.
14
00:00:50,903 --> 00:00:52,970
Clinically brain-dead.
15
00:00:52,971 --> 00:00:55,740
Support our troops.
16
00:00:55,741 --> 00:00:59,209
I don't even want to guesswhat his deal is.
17
00:00:59,210 --> 00:01:01,445
Fitzpatrick Motors.
How may I direct your call?
18
00:01:01,446 --> 00:01:03,347
But I'll bet it involvesa storage locker,
19
00:01:03,348 --> 00:01:06,484
illegal immigrantsand a branding iron.
20
00:01:06,485 --> 00:01:08,418
Richard, line two!
21
00:01:08,419 --> 00:01:11,120
My secret?Don't have any.
22
00:01:11,121 --> 00:01:13,122
I live my life likean open book.
23
00:01:13,123 --> 00:01:14,391
Fitz here.
24
00:01:14,392 --> 00:01:16,693
Straight up.No bullshit.
25
00:01:16,694 --> 00:01:18,595
Richard Fitzpatrickis an honest man,
26
00:01:18,596 --> 00:01:19,962
making an honest buck.
27
00:01:19,963 --> 00:01:21,798
Sure, I can show you
where Dexter Laine died.
28
00:01:21,799 --> 00:01:23,032
Fifty bucks.
29
00:01:23,033 --> 00:01:24,600
For 100 bucks, I can show
you photos of the chick
30
00:01:24,601 --> 00:01:26,302
who blew him to death.
31
00:01:26,303 --> 00:01:28,337
And Dot Foxley's secret?
32
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,639
Hey, this is a private call.
33
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:31,840
None.
34
00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:32,974
It's obviousshe wants me.
35
00:01:34,143 --> 00:01:38,914
36
00:01:38,915 --> 00:01:40,882
Without you
37
00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:45,086
I'd find my smile
38
00:01:45,087 --> 00:01:47,823
Without you
39
00:01:47,824 --> 00:01:50,325
I'd have won by a mile
40
00:01:50,326 --> 00:01:52,694
Without you
41
00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:56,396
Oh, life would be so grand
42
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:12,061
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
43
00:02:19,941 --> 00:02:22,257
I'm not going to let you turn
Fitzpatrick Motors
44
00:02:22,377 --> 00:02:23,995
into a morbid roadside
attraction.
45
00:02:24,115 --> 00:02:27,055
I wouldn't have to if you hadn't
stuck your nose and your mouth
46
00:02:27,175 --> 00:02:28,238
where it didn't belong.
47
00:02:28,351 --> 00:02:29,851
You killed my meal
ticket, lady.
48
00:02:29,852 --> 00:02:30,586
(Gasping)
49
00:02:30,587 --> 00:02:31,687
I didn't kill him.
50
00:02:31,688 --> 00:02:33,788
It was the vodka
and Alzheimer's meds.
51
00:02:33,789 --> 00:02:36,157
But you wouldn't know anything
about that, would you?
52
00:02:36,158 --> 00:02:39,127
Hey, Dex Laine was my idol.
53
00:02:39,128 --> 00:02:41,062
Most people would show
me a little sympathy
54
00:02:41,063 --> 00:02:42,598
in light of his recent passing.
55
00:02:42,599 --> 00:02:44,898
Or they would cut me
a little slack.
56
00:02:44,899 --> 00:02:46,734
Or they would take
off my slacks,
57
00:02:46,735 --> 00:02:49,537
which goes back to showing
a little sympathy.
58
00:02:49,538 --> 00:02:53,441
Whatever little scam
you're trying to pull,
59
00:02:53,442 --> 00:03:01,080
I will stop you.
60
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:03,250
She has all but admitted it.
She is out to get you.
61
00:03:03,251 --> 00:03:06,185
I thought we agreed she
wasn't the shadowy figure.
62
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,687
LARRY:
Well, based on recent events,
63
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:10,089
she is once again
my prime suspect.
64
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:12,325
Jesus, Encyclopedia Brown Nose,
65
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:14,561
it's obvious she was just
trying to make me jealous.
66
00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,828
Hm, or murder you
on the Beaver Moon.
67
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:17,829
FITZ:
You know what?
68
00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:19,131
Fuck the Beaver Moon,
69
00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:21,233
fuck the prophecy
and fuck the shadowy figure.
70
00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:23,869
What I need is money,
land and the Summer Wind Lounge.
71
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,137
Got it?
No.
72
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:27,473
What you need is to identify
your mystery nemesis.
73
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:29,074
Otherwise there won't be
a Summer Wind Lounge,
74
00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:31,443
because there won't be
a Richard Fitzpatrick.
75
00:03:31,444 --> 00:03:33,344
This from the guy who turned
my last piece of property
76
00:03:33,345 --> 00:03:35,179
into a toxic wasteland?
77
00:03:35,180 --> 00:03:36,581
That was you.
78
00:03:36,582 --> 00:03:38,883
Let's not play
the blame game here, okay?
79
00:03:38,884 --> 00:03:41,686
Let's get out there
and earn! Come on!
80
00:03:41,687 --> 00:03:44,455
Sounds like you got a plan.
81
00:03:44,456 --> 00:03:48,225
Damn, he's got a plan.
82
00:03:51,062 --> 00:03:53,931
How does a deceased man sign
his own souvenir shirt?
83
00:03:53,932 --> 00:03:55,833
The autographed one
should go for 50, easy.
84
00:03:55,834 --> 00:03:57,334
But if you shut up,
I can get you one
85
00:03:57,335 --> 00:03:59,203
for the low, low price of 40...
86
00:03:59,204 --> 00:04:00,404
49...
87
00:04:00,405 --> 00:04:01,538
49.99.
88
00:04:01,539 --> 00:04:02,539
Plus 10%.
89
00:04:02,540 --> 00:04:03,540
Start signing.
90
00:04:03,541 --> 00:04:04,541
The crowds will be here soon.
91
00:04:04,542 --> 00:04:05,875
The crowds?
Yeah.
92
00:04:05,876 --> 00:04:07,777
I posted a message
on the Dexter Laine website,
93
00:04:07,778 --> 00:04:09,312
and the fans
are going ape shit.
94
00:04:09,313 --> 00:04:11,380
Richard, this isn't
honouring a legend.
95
00:04:11,381 --> 00:04:14,017
It's unscrupulous
exploitation of a man's death.
96
00:04:14,018 --> 00:04:15,685
I'm wearing a tuxedo.
97
00:04:15,686 --> 00:04:17,153
What is--?
98
00:04:17,154 --> 00:04:20,756
Okay, clearly, you're exhibiting
signs of textbook denial.
99
00:04:20,757 --> 00:04:24,193
Hey, hey, that's your
very first stage of grief,
100
00:04:24,194 --> 00:04:25,961
an emotional milestone.
101
00:04:25,962 --> 00:04:27,963
I am not denying.
102
00:04:27,964 --> 00:04:29,064
I am cashing in.
103
00:04:29,065 --> 00:04:30,732
And, frankly,
Dex Laine would be offended
104
00:04:30,733 --> 00:04:34,602
if I didn't take
advantage of his death.
105
00:04:36,539 --> 00:04:40,007
When was the last time
I wore this tux?
106
00:04:40,008 --> 00:04:41,175
WOMEN:
Go, Fitz.
107
00:04:41,176 --> 00:04:44,778
No, no, no.
Fitz! Fitz!
108
00:04:44,779 --> 00:04:48,149
Richard, are you okay?
109
00:04:48,150 --> 00:04:50,718
I'm fine.
110
00:04:50,719 --> 00:04:54,187
Hey, what did that stir
stick remind you of?
111
00:04:54,188 --> 00:04:55,621
What does it mean?
112
00:04:55,622 --> 00:04:56,622
It means there's
a drink somewhere
113
00:04:56,623 --> 00:04:57,623
that needs to get stirred.
114
00:04:57,624 --> 00:04:59,826
Fuck off.
115
00:05:01,395 --> 00:05:05,131
Yeah, I thought
that Uncle D died on the bus.
116
00:05:05,132 --> 00:05:06,599
Ah, creative licence.
117
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,134
Oh, we should splash
some fake blood around.
118
00:05:08,135 --> 00:05:10,202
Make it look more gory.
People love that shit.
119
00:05:10,203 --> 00:05:12,671
Yeah, yeah, hey, I can't
get the real stuff, you know?
120
00:05:12,672 --> 00:05:16,175
I know a guy who knows
a guy who knows a--
121
00:05:17,810 --> 00:05:21,380
Look, Fitz, I need to talk
to you about something.
122
00:05:21,381 --> 00:05:23,148
(Sighing)
(Lighter clicking)
123
00:05:26,485 --> 00:05:29,153
You can't talk and work
at the same time?
124
00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:32,290
The tension's still
there, you know?
125
00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:34,425
Between you and me,
a dude can get jealous
126
00:05:34,426 --> 00:05:35,960
when his best friend gets a
girlfriend,
127
00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:39,497
but I don't want
what Dot and I have
128
00:05:39,498 --> 00:05:41,131
to come in between us.
129
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:44,301
She's not your
girlfriend, Josh.
130
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,736
Fitzy, buddy,
don't be like this.
131
00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:49,339
Dot's blown every guy
at the fucking dealership.
132
00:05:49,340 --> 00:05:51,775
Except for Larry, but he
doesn't have a dick and me,
133
00:05:51,776 --> 00:05:54,044
which is a mystery
that will rival Stonehenge
134
00:05:54,045 --> 00:05:55,812
for what the fuck
is up with that?
135
00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:57,413
Hey, you know what?
136
00:05:57,414 --> 00:06:00,182
What Dot and I have is honest
137
00:06:00,183 --> 00:06:03,185
and true and pure
138
00:06:03,186 --> 00:06:04,720
and honest.
139
00:06:04,721 --> 00:06:07,023
Like that fairytale
in the swamp
140
00:06:07,024 --> 00:06:08,024
with the guy.
141
00:06:08,025 --> 00:06:09,425
Remember, with the--?
142
00:06:09,426 --> 00:06:12,628
You know what?
143
00:06:12,629 --> 00:06:16,197
I'm not talking.
144
00:06:16,198 --> 00:06:19,434
For two days.
145
00:06:22,371 --> 00:06:24,372
Fucking stoner.
146
00:06:24,373 --> 00:06:26,308
Step right up.
(Car horns tooting)
147
00:06:26,309 --> 00:06:29,709
See where legendary crooner
Dexter Laine died.
148
00:06:29,710 --> 00:06:32,046
MAN: Get a real job!
It's incredibly sad.
149
00:06:32,047 --> 00:06:33,647
Where the hell is everybody?
150
00:06:33,648 --> 00:06:36,516
Well, most of Uncle D's
fans are elderly, Richard.
151
00:06:36,517 --> 00:06:38,185
It's going to take them
days just to get out of bed.
152
00:06:38,186 --> 00:06:39,320
Well, you better
step your game up.
153
00:06:39,321 --> 00:06:41,621
I need lines around
the block, reservations.
154
00:06:41,622 --> 00:06:43,757
I need a waiting list
before fucking Dot
155
00:06:43,758 --> 00:06:44,958
shuts this shit down.
156
00:06:44,959 --> 00:06:46,225
Right on track.
157
00:06:46,226 --> 00:06:49,728
You're shifting
from denial to anger. Rarr!
158
00:06:49,729 --> 00:06:52,231
Ahem.
159
00:06:52,232 --> 00:06:55,335
(In German accent):
How much for the VIP tour?
160
00:06:57,671 --> 00:06:59,005
I'm Richard Fitzpatrick.
161
00:06:59,006 --> 00:07:00,039
Right this way.
162
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,373
Cash in advance.
163
00:07:01,374 --> 00:07:05,110
Richard, please,
I'm begging-- He's got a gun.
164
00:07:05,111 --> 00:07:06,478
Of course he does.
He's German.
165
00:07:06,479 --> 00:07:07,512
Bavarian.
166
00:07:07,513 --> 00:07:11,816
(German accent):
Right this way.
167
00:07:11,817 --> 00:07:14,386
Got a gun.
168
00:07:14,387 --> 00:07:16,188
(Sighing)
169
00:07:16,189 --> 00:07:20,992
This is remarkable shrine you've
erected in Uncle D's honour.
170
00:07:20,993 --> 00:07:22,726
I consider it a public service.
171
00:07:22,727 --> 00:07:25,661
Make sure you tell
all your friends.
172
00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:29,665
Ah, so cool.
173
00:07:34,705 --> 00:07:39,709
I understand you were with
Uncle D when he expired, yeah?
174
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:41,943
It was natural causes.
175
00:07:41,944 --> 00:07:43,979
You misunderstand me,
Herr Fitzpatrick.
176
00:07:43,980 --> 00:07:46,882
I seek only to know more about
the condition of the death.
177
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:50,486
Tell me, was it tragic?
178
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:59,394
It was very tragic,
like an opera.
179
00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:01,429
His feet--?
180
00:08:01,430 --> 00:08:03,297
Were they freshly bathed?
181
00:08:06,468 --> 00:08:08,236
He showered compulsively.
182
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:09,603
What about shoes?
183
00:08:09,604 --> 00:08:11,005
Was he wearing shoes?
184
00:08:11,006 --> 00:08:13,041
Sandals perhaps?
185
00:08:13,042 --> 00:08:15,475
No, slippers.
186
00:08:15,476 --> 00:08:16,610
Oh, slippers.
187
00:08:16,611 --> 00:08:17,845
Yeah, this is good.
188
00:08:17,846 --> 00:08:19,146
Now, were the toenails--?
189
00:08:19,147 --> 00:08:20,380
Were they neatly trimmed
190
00:08:20,381 --> 00:08:22,883
or was Uncle D careless
in his maintenance?
191
00:08:22,884 --> 00:08:25,318
What about the hair?
Were they hairy?
192
00:08:25,319 --> 00:08:26,820
You like feet, do you?
193
00:08:26,821 --> 00:08:29,256
Do not judge me!
194
00:08:29,257 --> 00:08:31,490
Whoa, take it easy
Baron von Pervy.
195
00:08:31,491 --> 00:08:32,491
I'm a breast man.
196
00:08:32,492 --> 00:08:33,560
You're a foot man.
197
00:08:33,561 --> 00:08:36,796
A dead-foot man.
198
00:08:36,797 --> 00:08:40,199
Really?
A necro-podiphiliac?
199
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,234
That is seriously fucked up.
200
00:08:42,235 --> 00:08:45,237
Not nearly as fucked up as what
I would do with those feet
201
00:08:45,238 --> 00:08:49,341
if I could have just
one night with them.
202
00:08:49,342 --> 00:08:53,546
And if I could facilitate
this night of passion,
203
00:08:53,547 --> 00:08:56,215
what would you be
willing to pay for it?
204
00:09:01,654 --> 00:09:02,988
A lot.
205
00:09:08,628 --> 00:09:11,129
LARRY:
Oh, Richard, t-this is bad.
206
00:09:11,130 --> 00:09:12,898
How can you be so calm?
207
00:09:12,899 --> 00:09:15,000
We could get caught
at any second.
208
00:09:15,001 --> 00:09:16,568
Hardly. The security
guard's a drunk.
209
00:09:16,569 --> 00:09:17,569
We have plenty of time,
210
00:09:17,570 --> 00:09:21,706
as long as you
don't fuck around.
211
00:09:21,707 --> 00:09:23,340
There he is.
212
00:09:23,341 --> 00:09:25,375
You know, cutting off
a dead man's feet
213
00:09:25,376 --> 00:09:28,145
is not a healthy way
to mourn your idol, Richard.
214
00:09:28,146 --> 00:09:30,214
You know what else
isn't healthy, Larry?
215
00:09:30,215 --> 00:09:32,349
Ignoring debts
to Lebanese mobsters.
216
00:09:32,350 --> 00:09:34,018
If they don't get Summer
Wind sanitation money,
217
00:09:34,019 --> 00:09:37,154
I won't make it to
the next Beaver Moon.
218
00:09:37,155 --> 00:09:40,157
Yeah, but maybe if we just
explain what happened and--
219
00:09:40,158 --> 00:09:42,092
I'll give you 1,000 bucks
right now to shut the fuck up.
220
00:09:42,093 --> 00:09:44,194
Good for you.
Stage three, bargaining.
221
00:09:44,195 --> 00:09:45,829
(Liquid sloshing)
(Sighing)
222
00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:48,665
Hold on.
223
00:09:48,666 --> 00:09:50,834
What is that?
224
00:09:50,835 --> 00:09:52,801
There, on his neck.
225
00:09:52,802 --> 00:09:53,802
And that?
226
00:09:53,803 --> 00:09:56,506
Richard, what is--?
What is--?
227
00:09:56,507 --> 00:09:57,973
What is that?
228
00:09:57,974 --> 00:10:02,145
Oh, for fuck's sake.
229
00:10:02,146 --> 00:10:04,113
That's a penis, Larry.
230
00:10:04,114 --> 00:10:05,114
That's what men have.
231
00:10:05,115 --> 00:10:06,315
No, no, I mean that mark.
232
00:10:06,316 --> 00:10:07,982
Right there, look.
233
00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:14,356
Well, that's a hickey given
by a woman with braces.
234
00:10:14,357 --> 00:10:15,790
Huh?
235
00:10:15,791 --> 00:10:16,691
What, you think
I wouldn't recognize
236
00:10:16,692 --> 00:10:17,992
the sweet, sweet scarring
237
00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:19,661
that can only come
from a woman's mouth?
238
00:10:19,662 --> 00:10:22,197
I've seen that mark
before, Richard.
239
00:10:22,198 --> 00:10:25,666
It's like the train-track
scar on your backside.
240
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:27,501
Wait, wait!
241
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:28,902
Train tracks!
242
00:10:28,903 --> 00:10:30,638
Richard, what are the signs the
fortune-teller warned you about?
243
00:10:30,639 --> 00:10:31,639
Remember?
244
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,740
Jesus, Ansel Asshole.
245
00:10:33,741 --> 00:10:35,108
I don't have time
for this shit.
246
00:10:35,109 --> 00:10:36,577
We are here for
one reason only,
247
00:10:36,578 --> 00:10:39,445
payola for Uncle D's
admittedly attractive feet.
248
00:10:39,446 --> 00:10:40,880
Now give me that.
No, ow. Stop.
249
00:10:40,881 --> 00:10:43,816
Give me that.
Give me that.
250
00:10:43,817 --> 00:10:45,084
Yeah!
251
00:10:45,085 --> 00:10:47,053
Really?
252
00:10:47,054 --> 00:10:50,890
Let me see that mark.
253
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,662
(Sighing)
254
00:10:56,663 --> 00:10:58,096
Fine, make it fast.
255
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,100
(Camera clicking)
256
00:11:02,101 --> 00:11:04,069
I knew it! A perfect match!
257
00:11:04,070 --> 00:11:05,504
Thank you, Uncle D.
258
00:11:05,505 --> 00:11:07,439
Your death has given Richard
a chance at life!
259
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:10,242
If we know Uncle D nailed Dot,
do you think I did too?
260
00:11:10,243 --> 00:11:12,243
Yes, yes, and now we
can right the wrongs
261
00:11:12,244 --> 00:11:14,478
you perpetrated against her
and save our lives.
262
00:11:14,479 --> 00:11:17,147
Even better, that means I
drilled her precious wetland
263
00:11:17,148 --> 00:11:18,782
before anyone else
at the dealership.
264
00:11:18,783 --> 00:11:20,551
Suck on that, Josh!
265
00:11:20,552 --> 00:11:23,821
I will never take
your sloppy seconds! Yeah!
266
00:11:23,822 --> 00:11:27,824
I suppose that is
a victory as well! Yeah!
267
00:11:27,825 --> 00:11:29,726
Fuck off, Larry.
268
00:11:29,727 --> 00:11:31,728
Now, where did I
leave that bone saw?
269
00:11:33,964 --> 00:11:37,567
Okay, just--
If we could maybe--
270
00:11:37,568 --> 00:11:39,269
I got it. I got it.
271
00:11:39,270 --> 00:11:40,837
(Groaning)
272
00:11:40,838 --> 00:11:41,838
Hurry up, will you?
273
00:11:41,839 --> 00:11:45,241
Richard, you know what?
274
00:11:45,242 --> 00:11:48,110
Maybe-- Maybe your dream
275
00:11:48,111 --> 00:11:51,247
isn't a dream at
all but a memory.
276
00:11:51,248 --> 00:11:53,716
Yeah, what if your
subconscious has been trying
277
00:11:53,717 --> 00:11:56,218
to warn you about Dot
this whole time?
278
00:11:56,219 --> 00:11:58,554
You've said some dumbass things
since I've know you, Larry,
279
00:11:58,555 --> 00:12:01,256
but that was
the dumbest-assiest.
280
00:12:01,257 --> 00:12:03,224
Now get on with it!
281
00:12:03,225 --> 00:12:05,393
Okay, yeah,
no problem. Just--
282
00:12:05,394 --> 00:12:09,130
But what does this
remind you of?
283
00:12:09,131 --> 00:12:11,031
That's that stupid swizzle
stick from some hotel.
284
00:12:11,032 --> 00:12:12,867
Unh-unh, no,
I saw how you reacted
285
00:12:12,868 --> 00:12:14,168
when you pulled this
out of your pocket.
286
00:12:14,169 --> 00:12:15,302
It frightened you.
287
00:12:15,303 --> 00:12:16,403
Now, Richard, you tell me
288
00:12:16,404 --> 00:12:19,973
what you see in that
nightmare, everything.
289
00:12:22,543 --> 00:12:24,778
FITZ:
Well, there's me
290
00:12:24,779 --> 00:12:27,347
on this wheel of death,
291
00:12:27,348 --> 00:12:31,417
a shadowy figure with a knife,
292
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:32,918
a whole lot of talented babes
293
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:36,322
dying to take a ride
on the SS Fitz,
294
00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:40,760
the hotel and--
295
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,728
Wait a minute.
296
00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:47,465
Fried chicken and a Bellini.
297
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,868
It's no wonder
I can't remember anything.
298
00:12:50,869 --> 00:12:55,307
Hm, what is a Bellini?
299
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:56,775
It's Fitzy kryptonite.
300
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:59,076
It's made from peach schnapps.
301
00:12:59,077 --> 00:13:00,478
It's my blackout booze.
302
00:13:00,479 --> 00:13:01,513
Game fucking over.
303
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:03,014
I'll never remember
what happened.
304
00:13:03,015 --> 00:13:04,014
Hm, okay.
305
00:13:04,015 --> 00:13:05,949
Okay, yes, I got this, buddy.
306
00:13:05,950 --> 00:13:08,819
Maybe you decided to run away
307
00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:11,154
and join an
all-female circus,
308
00:13:11,155 --> 00:13:13,890
because you fell in love
with a knife thrower.
309
00:13:13,891 --> 00:13:16,293
Yeah, and then that night
you stopped at a hotel
310
00:13:16,294 --> 00:13:20,496
for some fried
chicken and a Bellini!
311
00:13:20,497 --> 00:13:22,832
I stand corrected, Larry.
312
00:13:22,833 --> 00:13:27,503
That is the dumbest-assiest
thing you've ever said.
313
00:13:27,504 --> 00:13:30,640
(Switch clicking)
314
00:13:30,641 --> 00:13:32,007
Really?
315
00:13:32,008 --> 00:13:34,276
Sir, no this is not
what it looks like.
316
00:13:34,277 --> 00:13:37,178
Richard, please, tell the man
it's not what it looks like.
317
00:13:37,179 --> 00:13:40,549
Did Josh send you
for that blood?
318
00:13:40,550 --> 00:13:43,151
You want to make five large?
319
00:13:43,152 --> 00:13:44,619
I'm going to go
wait in the car.
320
00:13:44,620 --> 00:13:47,356
(Saw clattering)
321
00:14:02,404 --> 00:14:03,971
Gun!
322
00:14:06,475 --> 00:14:07,707
Danke.
323
00:14:13,614 --> 00:14:15,682
(Engine starting)
324
00:14:24,123 --> 00:14:25,858
Another satisfied customer.
325
00:14:25,859 --> 00:14:28,394
I still can't believe
you paid that man
326
00:14:28,395 --> 00:14:30,228
to amputate
Dexter Laine's feet.
327
00:14:30,229 --> 00:14:31,930
Oh, relax,
Jack and the Gay-stalk.
328
00:14:31,931 --> 00:14:33,265
They're not Uncle D's.
329
00:14:33,266 --> 00:14:34,900
I couldn't do it, all right?
330
00:14:34,901 --> 00:14:36,334
The guy was a fucking legend,
331
00:14:36,335 --> 00:14:37,569
and you should be
ashamed of yourself
332
00:14:37,570 --> 00:14:39,970
for even suggesting
the idea in the first place.
333
00:14:39,971 --> 00:14:42,973
Me? But-- No,
but Armin Scheuller--
334
00:14:42,974 --> 00:14:45,410
Armin Scheuller
with the gun expected--
335
00:14:45,411 --> 00:14:47,912
Relax. Armin Scheuller will
never know the difference.
336
00:14:47,913 --> 00:14:50,114
But whose feet were they?
337
00:14:50,115 --> 00:14:51,382
I don't know.
Some hobo's.
338
00:14:51,383 --> 00:14:52,717
Ah.
339
00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:56,219
Oh-- Oh, Richard!
340
00:14:56,220 --> 00:14:57,954
Richard, I know how
we can get Dot
341
00:14:57,955 --> 00:14:59,456
to confess she's
your shadowy figure!
342
00:14:59,457 --> 00:15:01,157
By cutting off her feet?
343
00:15:01,158 --> 00:15:03,359
Maybe we can sell them
to Armin and double our money!
344
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:04,428
No, no, no, not that.
345
00:15:04,429 --> 00:15:06,029
Look, we convinced
Armin Scheuller
346
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,131
that those hobo feet were
actually Dexter Laine's--
347
00:15:08,132 --> 00:15:09,265
We?
348
00:15:09,266 --> 00:15:10,467
Yeah, so now we can trick Dot
349
00:15:10,468 --> 00:15:11,967
into believing that
you remember everything
350
00:15:11,968 --> 00:15:13,368
about that tryst with her.
351
00:15:13,369 --> 00:15:15,504
Look, we know that you
can't remember anything
352
00:15:15,505 --> 00:15:18,173
from that night,
but she doesn't!
353
00:15:20,444 --> 00:15:21,877
It's not a bad idea, Larry.
354
00:15:21,878 --> 00:15:23,178
Yes!
355
00:15:44,065 --> 00:15:45,999
(Scoffing)
356
00:15:48,570 --> 00:15:50,904
(Chattering)
357
00:15:50,905 --> 00:15:52,706
Is this some kind of joke?
358
00:15:52,707 --> 00:15:56,877
Oh, no. No, it's--
359
00:15:57,812 --> 00:15:59,212
It's an apology.
360
00:15:59,213 --> 00:16:01,180
I've said and done
some things lately
361
00:16:01,181 --> 00:16:03,082
that I probably shouldn't have.
362
00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:04,884
And nothing says,
"Oh, fuck, sorry,"
363
00:16:04,885 --> 00:16:06,519
like a bucket of Dirty Bird.
364
00:16:08,555 --> 00:16:10,022
It will take more
than fried chicken
365
00:16:10,023 --> 00:16:11,023
for me to forgive you
366
00:16:11,024 --> 00:16:12,625
for breaking into my apartment,
367
00:16:12,626 --> 00:16:14,259
stealing my personal property
368
00:16:14,260 --> 00:16:16,060
and sexually harassing me.
369
00:16:16,061 --> 00:16:18,630
Uh-huh, which is why
370
00:16:18,631 --> 00:16:22,734
we also bought you this.
371
00:16:24,336 --> 00:16:26,371
Peach schnapps.
372
00:16:26,372 --> 00:16:27,839
Thank you.
373
00:16:28,975 --> 00:16:30,976
Give it up, Foxley!
We know it was you.
374
00:16:30,977 --> 00:16:32,476
You are behind all of it,
375
00:16:32,477 --> 00:16:34,311
the graffiti, the sexual tape,
376
00:16:34,312 --> 00:16:36,580
the desecration
of Babs Devon's grave!
377
00:16:36,581 --> 00:16:38,482
Hey, back off, Larry.
378
00:16:38,483 --> 00:16:39,583
Just because she
doesn't like you,
379
00:16:39,584 --> 00:16:41,385
doesn't make her
the dealership bike.
380
00:16:41,386 --> 00:16:42,486
Ooh, Dirty Birdie.
381
00:16:42,487 --> 00:16:44,421
Hey, it's not your
business, Josh!
382
00:16:47,591 --> 00:16:50,860
Hos before bros, bro.
383
00:16:50,861 --> 00:16:54,597
You don't have a single piece
of concrete evidence against me.
384
00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:57,600
Well, perhaps you forgot
about your night of passion
385
00:16:57,601 --> 00:17:02,438
at the Madison Arms, hm?
386
00:17:03,907 --> 00:17:05,073
What night?
387
00:17:05,074 --> 00:17:07,409
What night?
388
00:17:07,410 --> 00:17:08,577
Mm-hm.
389
00:17:08,578 --> 00:17:11,146
Uh...
390
00:17:11,147 --> 00:17:15,183
Uh, you know, that night.
391
00:17:15,184 --> 00:17:19,554
That night that we
watched a knife thrower
392
00:17:19,555 --> 00:17:23,190
and ate fried chicken
393
00:17:23,191 --> 00:17:26,760
and pounded Bellinis.
394
00:17:26,761 --> 00:17:30,931
And then we went back to
our room at the Madison arms.
395
00:17:30,932 --> 00:17:35,301
And then--
396
00:17:35,302 --> 00:17:36,870
Wait a minute.
397
00:17:36,871 --> 00:17:38,705
I remember thatnight now.
398
00:17:38,706 --> 00:17:40,440
We drank Bellinis,
399
00:17:40,441 --> 00:17:44,476
we ate fried chicken,
400
00:17:44,477 --> 00:17:45,544
and then we took 'Ludes!
401
00:17:45,545 --> 00:17:47,046
Love 'Ludes.
402
00:17:47,047 --> 00:17:51,116
Oh, oh, Miss Foxley, we--
403
00:17:51,117 --> 00:17:53,518
We've made a terrible mistake.
404
00:17:53,519 --> 00:17:55,554
Richard, I know the night
you're talking about,
405
00:17:55,555 --> 00:17:58,089
and I remember
the woman you were with.
406
00:17:58,090 --> 00:18:01,258
And she was--
Whoo.
407
00:18:01,259 --> 00:18:04,161
She was no Dot Foxley.
408
00:18:04,162 --> 00:18:05,496
(Knocking on door)
409
00:18:05,497 --> 00:18:07,098
LARRY: It was the morningafter you judged
410
00:18:07,099 --> 00:18:09,834
the Miss Super-SizedSuper-Save Beauty Pageant.
411
00:18:09,835 --> 00:18:11,268
Oh, Richard.
412
00:18:11,269 --> 00:18:12,269
Your night of debauchery
413
00:18:12,270 --> 00:18:13,604
with the fourth runner-up
414
00:18:13,605 --> 00:18:16,640
resulted in an overdoseon 'Ludes and schnapps.
415
00:18:16,641 --> 00:18:21,645
We had to get to Emergency!
416
00:18:21,646 --> 00:18:22,946
Schnapps!
417
00:18:22,947 --> 00:18:24,681
Yeah, send an ambulance
418
00:18:24,682 --> 00:18:26,216
to the Madison Arms, room 201,
419
00:18:26,217 --> 00:18:27,317
as fast as possible!
420
00:18:27,318 --> 00:18:29,920
Please and thank you!
Okay.
421
00:18:29,921 --> 00:18:31,721
(Grunting)
422
00:18:32,789 --> 00:18:33,789
You just thought of this now?
423
00:18:33,790 --> 00:18:35,225
Do you have any idea
424
00:18:35,226 --> 00:18:37,227
how many motel rooms
I pulled you out of?
425
00:18:37,228 --> 00:18:42,098
So many women,
so many vibrating beds, so--
426
00:18:42,099 --> 00:18:43,500
So sorry.
427
00:18:43,501 --> 00:18:44,967
For what?
428
00:18:44,968 --> 00:18:46,068
The libel?
429
00:18:46,069 --> 00:18:47,436
The slander?
430
00:18:47,437 --> 00:18:49,138
The sexual harassment?
431
00:18:49,139 --> 00:18:50,672
The break-in?
432
00:18:50,673 --> 00:18:53,008
Save your apologies.
433
00:18:53,009 --> 00:18:54,776
This little performance
434
00:18:54,777 --> 00:18:56,311
is the final nail
in your coffin,
435
00:18:56,312 --> 00:19:00,649
Richard Fitzpatrick.
436
00:19:00,650 --> 00:19:01,650
Way to go, Larry.
437
00:19:01,651 --> 00:19:03,083
I let you take a photo
438
00:19:03,084 --> 00:19:06,420
of the train-track mark
on my ass for nothing.
439
00:19:06,421 --> 00:19:10,525
Train-track marks?
440
00:19:12,727 --> 00:19:16,797
J'accuse!
441
00:19:16,798 --> 00:19:18,498
A train-track hickey.
442
00:19:18,499 --> 00:19:22,235
Clicketty-clack,
courtesy of Dot Foxley.
443
00:19:22,236 --> 00:19:25,004
And her hidden braces.
444
00:19:25,005 --> 00:19:27,073
Just tighten them, dammit!
445
00:19:28,176 --> 00:19:29,976
LARRY:
Knives!
446
00:19:29,977 --> 00:19:32,045
Whoa!
447
00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:33,180
Where did those come from?
448
00:19:33,181 --> 00:19:34,213
Put your pants on!
449
00:19:34,214 --> 00:19:36,482
Miss Carbs.
450
00:19:37,784 --> 00:19:40,553
So you finally remembered?
451
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:44,490
DOT: I had it all,the suffocating talent,
452
00:19:44,491 --> 00:19:46,024
the big-boned beauty,
453
00:19:46,025 --> 00:19:49,094
a custom-madesize-24 swimsuit
454
00:19:49,095 --> 00:19:50,528
and judge witha knife fetish.
455
00:19:50,529 --> 00:19:53,831
When you volunteeredto be my target,
456
00:19:53,832 --> 00:19:55,200
I thought itwas in the bag.
457
00:19:55,201 --> 00:19:57,835
ANNOUNCER: And the Miss Super-Sized
Super-Save crown
458
00:19:57,836 --> 00:20:00,071
goes to Miss Big and Tall!
459
00:20:00,072 --> 00:20:01,872
Ladies and gentlemen...
460
00:20:01,873 --> 00:20:05,743
I fell for the oldesttrick in the book.
461
00:20:05,744 --> 00:20:08,245
After you fixed the results
to make sure I lost,
462
00:20:08,246 --> 00:20:11,215
you swept in to console me.
463
00:20:11,216 --> 00:20:13,217
That is a classic.
Shht!
464
00:20:13,218 --> 00:20:15,686
DOT: You were everythingI ever wanted in a man,
465
00:20:15,687 --> 00:20:19,256
handsome, debonair, male.
466
00:20:19,257 --> 00:20:20,790
No, no, I can't!
467
00:20:20,791 --> 00:20:25,561
I always promised myself
I'd save this for my husband!
468
00:20:25,562 --> 00:20:27,697
Whatever you want, baby.
469
00:20:27,698 --> 00:20:30,433
Oh, yes, darling.
470
00:20:30,434 --> 00:20:33,068
I will marry you.
471
00:20:33,069 --> 00:20:34,370
(Sighing)
472
00:20:34,371 --> 00:20:35,971
WOMAN OVER SPEAKER:
Dr. Parsons to Cardiology.
473
00:20:35,972 --> 00:20:37,707
Dr. Parsonsto Cardiology.
474
00:20:37,708 --> 00:20:39,842
(EKG beeping)
475
00:20:41,611 --> 00:20:43,946
(Respirator hissing)
476
00:20:43,947 --> 00:20:48,150
Fitz? Fitzy?
477
00:20:50,686 --> 00:20:52,054
Darling?
478
00:20:52,055 --> 00:20:54,289
You partied meinto unconsciousness,
479
00:20:54,290 --> 00:20:57,058
then abandoned me.
480
00:20:59,427 --> 00:21:00,895
Oh, wow.
481
00:21:00,896 --> 00:21:04,431
Well, Richard, the whole
point of this exercise
482
00:21:04,432 --> 00:21:06,234
was to identify the person
483
00:21:06,235 --> 00:21:07,601
you were wronged
and make amends.
484
00:21:07,602 --> 00:21:09,436
And that starts
with apologizing
485
00:21:09,437 --> 00:21:13,173
for this sad, strange
series of events.
486
00:21:13,174 --> 00:21:14,941
DOT, FITZ, JOSH: Fuck off, Larry.
What?
487
00:21:14,942 --> 00:21:16,143
DOT:
I don't want an apology.
488
00:21:18,646 --> 00:21:19,746
I just want you.
489
00:21:19,747 --> 00:21:20,881
Not on my watch, lady.
490
00:21:20,882 --> 00:21:23,049
Um, wait, what?
491
00:21:24,351 --> 00:21:27,286
Hi, are you talking
to me or Fitz?
492
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:29,488
Ahem!
493
00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:31,456
I lost all that weight,
494
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:33,826
took night courses
in business management.
495
00:21:33,827 --> 00:21:36,495
I even learned how
to harness mystical forces.
496
00:21:36,496 --> 00:21:40,833
I changed everything
about myself,
497
00:21:40,834 --> 00:21:42,268
all for you.
498
00:21:42,269 --> 00:21:43,835
Told you.
499
00:21:43,836 --> 00:21:46,671
No, but what about
all that awful stuff
500
00:21:46,672 --> 00:21:48,006
that's been
happening to Richard?
501
00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:51,176
Well, I never imagined my
voodoo would be so strong.
502
00:21:51,177 --> 00:21:53,912
Wait, are you saying you
didn't make my mommy tape
503
00:21:53,913 --> 00:21:57,215
or dig up Babs Devon
or any of the other bad shit?
504
00:21:57,216 --> 00:21:59,516
All your bad luck,
505
00:21:59,517 --> 00:22:02,853
that's the power of my love.
506
00:22:02,854 --> 00:22:04,654
It's a fortune-teller's
prophecy.
507
00:22:04,655 --> 00:22:07,958
Call it what you want,
voodoo, karma, fate.
508
00:22:07,959 --> 00:22:11,128
I will make you love me again,
509
00:22:11,129 --> 00:22:12,429
no matter what.
510
00:22:14,565 --> 00:22:17,066
What did I ever do to you?
511
00:22:17,067 --> 00:22:20,636
LARRY:
"'Ludes and schnapps."
512
00:22:20,637 --> 00:22:23,672
Oh, wow, that should
have worn off by now.
513
00:22:23,673 --> 00:22:25,708
I had it tattooed,
514
00:22:25,709 --> 00:22:27,043
which I instantly regretted.
515
00:22:27,044 --> 00:22:28,044
LARRY:
Oh, dear.
516
00:22:28,045 --> 00:22:30,012
But it will always remind me
517
00:22:30,013 --> 00:22:33,548
of the night I fell in love.
518
00:22:37,253 --> 00:22:39,554
I fell in love too, baby.
519
00:22:39,555 --> 00:22:42,958
But we loved each other
enough that one night
520
00:22:42,959 --> 00:22:45,093
to last a lifetime.
521
00:22:52,334 --> 00:22:54,101
Ew.
522
00:22:54,102 --> 00:22:58,239
I really am quite sorry.
523
00:23:01,743 --> 00:23:04,978
Richard Fitzpatrick!
524
00:23:04,979 --> 00:23:06,445
If you walk out that door now,
525
00:23:06,446 --> 00:23:09,749
know that I will spend the rest
of my life making you suffer.
526
00:23:09,750 --> 00:23:12,718
You want to go
mano a mano with me, baby?
527
00:23:12,719 --> 00:23:15,021
Bring it on, sweetheart.
528
00:23:15,022 --> 00:23:16,655
I'll be laughing
over your corpse
529
00:23:16,656 --> 00:23:19,258
long before you're
laughing over mine.
530
00:23:19,259 --> 00:23:23,595
Who said anything about
killing you, you big lug nut?
531
00:23:23,596 --> 00:23:25,663
You destroyed me
532
00:23:25,664 --> 00:23:29,334
psychologically, physically.
533
00:23:29,335 --> 00:23:32,871
And because of it,
I am a better person.
534
00:23:32,872 --> 00:23:34,806
Definitely skinnier.
535
00:23:34,807 --> 00:23:38,475
True change requires suffering.
536
00:23:38,476 --> 00:23:41,478
For me to drag you
through hell,
537
00:23:41,479 --> 00:23:46,317
that is real love.
538
00:23:46,318 --> 00:23:49,453
So hang on tight,
Richard Fitzpatrick.
539
00:23:49,454 --> 00:23:52,923
I am going to change your life.
540
00:23:52,924 --> 00:23:57,294
That is my job!
541
00:24:11,808 --> 00:24:13,642
She took the chicken.
542
00:24:13,643 --> 00:24:16,111
(Dog barking)
543
00:24:19,482 --> 00:24:21,583
LARRY: Well, that was quite
an adventure.
544
00:24:21,584 --> 00:24:23,151
Although it looks
like we were wrong
545
00:24:23,152 --> 00:24:25,053
about Dot being
your shadowy nemesis.
546
00:24:25,054 --> 00:24:26,421
I guess the whole
death prophecy,
547
00:24:26,422 --> 00:24:28,522
the Beaver Moon,
it was all just a ruse.
548
00:24:28,523 --> 00:24:31,859
Yeah. No more
nightmares, I guess.
549
00:24:31,860 --> 00:24:33,227
Yeah, and now you
don't have to worry
550
00:24:33,228 --> 00:24:35,296
about taking Josh's
sloppy seconds.
551
00:24:36,698 --> 00:24:37,765
All I'm worried about right now
552
00:24:37,766 --> 00:24:39,466
is getting
a good night's sleep.
553
00:24:39,467 --> 00:24:40,733
Of course, Richard.
Of course.
554
00:24:40,734 --> 00:24:42,535
There's just one more
thing you have to do.
555
00:24:43,604 --> 00:24:44,637
What's that?
556
00:24:44,638 --> 00:24:46,706
Die!
557
00:24:51,579 --> 00:24:53,580
Oh, fuck.
558
00:24:53,581 --> 00:24:55,647
(Panting)
559
00:24:56,395 --> 00:25:06,900
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
560
00:25:06,950 --> 00:25:11,500
Repair and Synchronization by
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