Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:26,729 --> 00:00:28,044
Oyster. Shiitake.
2
00:00:28,131 --> 00:00:29,654
- Ahh... maitake.
- Dang.
3
00:00:30,099 --> 00:00:31,332
Touch of Himalayan sea salt.
4
00:00:31,434 --> 00:00:32,867
Himalayan sea salt.
5
00:00:32,969 --> 00:00:34,368
Okay, okay, morels.
6
00:00:34,470 --> 00:00:36,504
Spongy mushroom in a dark sauce.
7
00:00:36,606 --> 00:00:37,805
- So good.
- So good.
8
00:00:37,807 --> 00:00:38,806
Fennell seeds, please.
9
00:00:38,908 --> 00:00:40,040
Yes.
10
00:00:40,143 --> 00:00:41,375
Have you ever heard of hen of the woods?
11
00:00:41,477 --> 00:00:43,444
Yeah, I've heard of hen of the woods.
12
00:00:43,546 --> 00:00:45,212
- No, I know.
- Hen of the woods are
13
00:00:45,314 --> 00:00:46,947
literally, like, what?
14
00:00:47,049 --> 00:00:49,250
Hen of the woods are
literally, like, what?
15
00:00:49,352 --> 00:00:51,152
- Exactly.
- Oh, portabella.
16
00:00:51,254 --> 00:00:53,849
- Oh, obvious. That's, like, durr.
- Durr.
17
00:00:53,884 --> 00:00:55,122
Well, what are these ones called?
18
00:00:55,224 --> 00:00:57,591
I think they're just called shrooms.
19
00:00:57,693 --> 00:00:59,460
- Yeah.
- Shrooms.
20
00:01:01,831 --> 00:01:03,164
Whew!
21
00:01:03,266 --> 00:01:05,065
(squealing)
22
00:01:05,168 --> 00:01:06,767
So, the fat in the yogurt
23
00:01:06,869 --> 00:01:09,603
activates the psilocybin
in the mushrooms, however,
24
00:01:09,705 --> 00:01:13,073
it slow down digestion,
thus yielding the perfect
25
00:01:13,176 --> 00:01:14,909
stroganina timeline for today's trip.
26
00:01:15,011 --> 00:01:16,377
All right. (sighing)
27
00:01:19,582 --> 00:01:21,015
B-R-B,
life.
28
00:01:21,117 --> 00:01:23,451
"Hwelcome" to "hwitch hworld," baby.
29
00:01:26,088 --> 00:01:27,288
I could eat this every day.
30
00:01:27,390 --> 00:01:30,858
Yeah, it's... It tastes really good.
31
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,060
Whistle, Tootsie Pop.
32
00:01:33,162 --> 00:01:35,830
Water, charger, passports,
33
00:01:35,932 --> 00:01:37,498
dreamcatcher, backup dreamcatcher.
34
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:38,666
So, are you feeling anything yet?
35
00:01:38,768 --> 00:01:40,335
- No. Did you pee?
- Um, I did.
36
00:01:40,503 --> 00:01:43,804
Like, in the bathroom. Not,
like, right this minute.
37
00:01:45,741 --> 00:01:47,775
(gasping)
38
00:01:47,877 --> 00:01:49,210
Dude...
39
00:01:49,312 --> 00:01:51,612
are you seeing what I'm seeing?
40
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:57,718
The dust ruffle's blowing,
41
00:01:57,820 --> 00:02:01,121
as if in the wind, but
the windows are shut.
42
00:02:13,970 --> 00:02:16,303
(both, echoing) The dust ruffle's
blowing, as if in the wind,
43
00:02:16,405 --> 00:02:17,671
but the windows are shut!
44
00:02:17,773 --> 00:02:20,107
(voice) ? Four and three and... ?
45
00:02:22,879 --> 00:02:25,112
So you are, like, feeling it?
46
00:02:25,214 --> 00:02:26,313
Uh...
47
00:02:26,415 --> 00:02:27,915
(high-pitched) yeah.
48
00:02:28,017 --> 00:02:30,351
? Four and three
and two and one-one ?
49
00:02:31,060 --> 00:02:34,508
Sync and corrections by rickSG
www.addic7ed.com
50
00:02:34,857 --> 00:02:37,725
Then I realized, I don't
have permanent mono,
51
00:02:37,827 --> 00:02:39,527
I'm just a little
allergic to almond milk.
52
00:02:39,629 --> 00:02:41,662
- Can I just say one thing?
- Please, say it.
53
00:02:41,764 --> 00:02:44,031
Love is cool. It's just cool.
54
00:02:44,133 --> 00:02:47,134
Love is cool. It's like the cure.
55
00:02:48,938 --> 00:02:51,005
(whistling, booming)
56
00:02:54,577 --> 00:02:56,243
I mean, can I just say one thing?
57
00:02:56,345 --> 00:02:57,778
Please, say it.
58
00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,680
Sometimes I think about babies.
59
00:02:59,782 --> 00:03:01,181
I think about it all the time.
60
00:03:02,451 --> 00:03:04,785
A person pussy-poops another person.
61
00:03:04,887 --> 00:03:06,387
And then produces milk
62
00:03:06,489 --> 00:03:08,689
to make it grow to be human-sized?
63
00:03:08,791 --> 00:03:10,925
That's comic book shit.
64
00:03:11,027 --> 00:03:13,093
Moms are literal superheroes.
65
00:03:13,195 --> 00:03:14,828
I mean, can you imagine
66
00:03:14,931 --> 00:03:18,432
how much love you must
feel when you have a baby?
67
00:03:18,534 --> 00:03:20,267
They have supa-dupa love,
68
00:03:20,369 --> 00:03:21,702
like that song,
69
00:03:21,804 --> 00:03:24,271
"Supa Duper Love," by Joss Stone.
70
00:03:24,373 --> 00:03:26,774
That's the (bleep) power!
71
00:03:26,876 --> 00:03:28,676
God, we're gonna be good moms.
72
00:03:28,778 --> 00:03:29,944
Hey, get outta the way.
73
00:03:31,914 --> 00:03:33,113
Is it weird my nipples are sore?
74
00:03:33,215 --> 00:03:34,582
No, that is perfectly normal.
75
00:03:34,684 --> 00:03:35,616
Mine are bleeding.
76
00:03:35,718 --> 00:03:37,451
(cat screeching)
77
00:03:39,555 --> 00:03:41,355
(car horn honking)
78
00:03:43,292 --> 00:03:45,859
Did you ever think about
getting a bra for your butt?
79
00:03:45,962 --> 00:03:47,661
(wolf-whistling) No...
do you think I should?
80
00:03:47,763 --> 00:03:49,330
No way.
81
00:03:49,432 --> 00:03:50,931
Let 'em swang, sister.
82
00:03:51,033 --> 00:03:52,466
Woo! Woohoo!
83
00:03:52,568 --> 00:03:53,767
Look at 'em go!
84
00:03:53,869 --> 00:03:55,836
That is a powerful ass.
85
00:03:55,938 --> 00:03:57,705
Feeling it! (chuckling)
86
00:04:01,677 --> 00:04:03,110
Oh, boy.
87
00:04:03,212 --> 00:04:04,211
Oh, girl.
88
00:04:04,313 --> 00:04:06,347
Tunnels are so intense.
89
00:04:06,449 --> 00:04:08,649
They're a microcosm of the whole trip.
90
00:04:08,751 --> 00:04:10,184
A microcosm!
91
00:04:10,286 --> 00:04:11,919
We're okay, we're okay, take my hand.
92
00:04:13,556 --> 00:04:15,823
Oh...
93
00:04:15,925 --> 00:04:18,425
(cawing)
94
00:04:22,331 --> 00:04:25,799
(both screaming)
95
00:04:25,901 --> 00:04:27,635
I'm squeezing my core. I don't know why.
96
00:04:27,737 --> 00:04:29,870
- It's watching us!
- Oh, my God, go faster, go faster.
97
00:04:29,972 --> 00:04:32,606
(Ilana screaming)
98
00:04:35,578 --> 00:04:36,810
Oh, I love you, man.
99
00:04:36,912 --> 00:04:39,046
I love you too, man.
100
00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:41,148
??
101
00:04:42,652 --> 00:04:44,585
Turned out she was convicted of arson,
102
00:04:44,687 --> 00:04:46,420
but now she's a crossfit trainer.
103
00:04:46,522 --> 00:04:48,055
Eliot says she's the best one.
104
00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:51,191
That makes so much sense...
105
00:04:53,429 --> 00:04:56,397
Whoa. Did you hear that?
106
00:04:56,499 --> 00:04:58,399
?? (different chimes)
107
00:04:58,501 --> 00:04:59,833
(chimes, cymbal crash)
108
00:04:59,935 --> 00:05:01,468
This is amazing!
109
00:05:01,570 --> 00:05:03,404
?? (echoing)
110
00:05:03,506 --> 00:05:06,240
Oh! Uh! Uh! Uh!
111
00:05:06,342 --> 00:05:07,875
Yeah!
112
00:05:07,977 --> 00:05:10,644
Woo! Woo! Woohoo!
113
00:05:10,746 --> 00:05:13,414
??
(ah-oo-gah horn)
114
00:05:13,516 --> 00:05:15,149
(voice) Oh, oh!
115
00:05:15,251 --> 00:05:17,151
(voice) Oh, yeah!
116
00:05:17,253 --> 00:05:18,786
Mm, mmm! Mmm!
117
00:05:18,888 --> 00:05:20,679
Ooh, ahh, ahh!
118
00:05:21,424 --> 00:05:23,891
- Ahh!
- Yass!
119
00:05:23,993 --> 00:05:25,826
- Abbi!
- Ilana!
120
00:05:25,928 --> 00:05:27,428
- Oh, Abbi!
- Oh, Ilana!
121
00:05:27,530 --> 00:05:29,263
Abbi!
122
00:05:29,365 --> 00:05:32,767
Abbi!... (gibberish)
123
00:05:32,869 --> 00:05:34,602
Ilana!
124
00:05:34,704 --> 00:05:36,871
(gibberish)
125
00:05:36,973 --> 00:05:38,939
(car horns honking)
126
00:05:40,009 --> 00:05:42,676
Holy shit, music is so powerful.
127
00:05:42,779 --> 00:05:45,079
Something feels... off.
128
00:05:45,181 --> 00:05:46,480
It is time for us to go.
129
00:05:46,582 --> 00:05:49,183
Oh, I feel it, too.
Down here, down here.
130
00:05:51,721 --> 00:05:53,988
(both) Whoa!
131
00:05:54,090 --> 00:05:56,724
- (voice) Look at that.
- Hi!
132
00:05:56,826 --> 00:05:59,460
- Bingo Bronson!
- Oh, hi!
133
00:06:00,763 --> 00:06:02,797
- Hey, Ilana.
- Oh.
134
00:06:02,899 --> 00:06:04,265
(voice) It's gorgeous.
135
00:06:04,367 --> 00:06:05,766
Gorgeous.
136
00:06:05,868 --> 00:06:08,068
Mmm... watermelon.
137
00:06:08,171 --> 00:06:10,471
Love is so cool.
138
00:06:10,573 --> 00:06:12,273
It really is.
139
00:06:12,375 --> 00:06:13,974
We should write that down.
140
00:06:14,076 --> 00:06:15,643
For what?
141
00:06:15,745 --> 00:06:18,446
Sometimes I just feel like
our dynamic is special,
142
00:06:18,548 --> 00:06:19,914
and we should capture it.
143
00:06:20,016 --> 00:06:21,849
I feel like people would
really relate to it.
144
00:06:21,951 --> 00:06:23,250
(thrumming)
145
00:06:23,352 --> 00:06:25,085
Oh, I think I brought my vibrator.
146
00:06:25,188 --> 00:06:28,355
Dude, maybe I am changing.
147
00:06:28,458 --> 00:06:30,224
Maybe it's just your phone.
148
00:06:30,326 --> 00:06:31,926
Oh.
149
00:06:32,028 --> 00:06:33,027
(bleep)!
150
00:06:33,129 --> 00:06:34,728
Shit, Dara needs me tonight!
151
00:06:34,831 --> 00:06:36,530
But it's the weekend!
152
00:06:36,632 --> 00:06:37,898
I know!
153
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,700
Okay, she wrote,
154
00:06:39,802 --> 00:06:41,602
"Abbi, I'm so sorry to ask you this,
155
00:06:41,704 --> 00:06:44,038
"but I need you to pick up 100 macarons
156
00:06:44,140 --> 00:06:45,573
"for my wife's birthday
157
00:06:45,675 --> 00:06:46,882
and bring them to my
house in the next hour."
158
00:06:46,984 --> 00:06:48,609
What?
159
00:06:48,711 --> 00:06:51,212
Have I been talking for a long time?
160
00:06:51,314 --> 00:06:52,521
No, just, like, a second.
161
00:06:52,615 --> 00:06:54,223
Just finish the text!
162
00:06:54,325 --> 00:06:56,116
"So, I know it's the weekend..."
163
00:06:56,227 --> 00:06:59,220
but I really need this
stupid, inedible dessert.
164
00:06:59,322 --> 00:07:00,963
She's French.
165
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,934
- Reality...
- Penetrating...
166
00:07:05,036 --> 00:07:06,769
Hold my hand!
167
00:07:06,871 --> 00:07:08,103
Ahh!
168
00:07:08,206 --> 00:07:11,057
(both screaming)
169
00:07:11,437 --> 00:07:13,504
(tongues slurping)
170
00:07:13,606 --> 00:07:15,873
(Abbi) Thank God we
have these lollipops.
171
00:07:15,975 --> 00:07:17,508
Okay, okay, You know what?
172
00:07:17,610 --> 00:07:19,643
It's okay. We're okay.
173
00:07:19,745 --> 00:07:21,712
We're fine, totally calm
174
00:07:21,814 --> 00:07:23,347
and cool as cucumbers.
175
00:07:23,449 --> 00:07:25,049
This doesn't have to
totally change our day.
176
00:07:25,151 --> 00:07:26,350
No, no, it doesn't.
177
00:07:26,452 --> 00:07:29,086
Macarons are very colorful and vibrant,
178
00:07:29,188 --> 00:07:31,288
- and that is good.
- Yeah, they are.
179
00:07:31,390 --> 00:07:33,991
I mean, I don't actually
like them, like, flavorwise.
180
00:07:34,093 --> 00:07:35,417
- No.
- But we'll just go
181
00:07:35,418 --> 00:07:36,827
and get a hundred macarons... (sighing)
182
00:07:36,862 --> 00:07:39,997
sneak into Dara's house, so her wife doesn't
find out that this was an afterthought.
183
00:07:40,032 --> 00:07:41,699
Easy, so easy...
184
00:07:41,801 --> 00:07:43,200
- Mm-hmm. - And
not stressful.
185
00:07:43,302 --> 00:07:46,737
Mm-hmm, we are on a legit
secret mission for love,
186
00:07:46,839 --> 00:07:49,073
and that, my friend, is cool.
187
00:07:49,175 --> 00:07:50,808
Good call.
188
00:07:50,910 --> 00:07:52,009
That is cool.
189
00:07:52,111 --> 00:07:53,577
- Mmm.
- Totally cool.
190
00:07:55,014 --> 00:07:58,282
Isn't it nuts that
pickles were cucumbers?
191
00:07:58,384 --> 00:08:01,185
They're the trans people
of the vegetable community.
192
00:08:04,056 --> 00:08:07,858
?? (distorted accordion)
193
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,660
(both) Wow...
194
00:08:12,198 --> 00:08:15,799
Oh, my God, it's beautiful.
195
00:08:15,901 --> 00:08:16,834
The colors...
196
00:08:16,936 --> 00:08:18,335
Macarons taste terrible,
197
00:08:18,437 --> 00:08:20,938
but God, are they pretty.
198
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,173
Whoa. Look at him.
199
00:08:24,510 --> 00:08:25,976
Bonjour, mademoiselle.
200
00:08:26,078 --> 00:08:28,779
Bienvenue a la Boutique de Macaron.
201
00:08:28,881 --> 00:08:31,181
(speaking French)
202
00:08:31,283 --> 00:08:33,350
Sorry, I only took
French for seven years.
203
00:08:33,452 --> 00:08:34,852
I have no idea what you're saying.
204
00:08:34,954 --> 00:08:36,420
(chuckling)
205
00:08:36,522 --> 00:08:39,189
(speaking French)
206
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,427
I've never been to Paris.
207
00:08:43,529 --> 00:08:46,830
God, it really is so beautiful.
208
00:08:46,932 --> 00:08:49,767
But French people just want to
make everything, like, fancy.
209
00:08:49,869 --> 00:08:51,602
Like, their fries.
210
00:08:51,704 --> 00:08:54,304
(French accent) It is
like, we all love ze food.
211
00:08:54,407 --> 00:08:57,041
You are not special
because you love ze food.
212
00:08:57,143 --> 00:08:59,309
Ilana, you know that being
racist against white people
213
00:08:59,412 --> 00:09:01,111
is still being racist.
214
00:09:01,213 --> 00:09:02,613
Eh, I dunno.
215
00:09:02,715 --> 00:09:04,481
(tinny-voiced) Woohoo! Yay!
216
00:09:04,583 --> 00:09:06,917
Viva la resistance!
217
00:09:07,019 --> 00:09:11,055
Au revoir... (speaking French)
218
00:09:13,092 --> 00:09:15,459
(grunting) Merci beaucoup, monsieur.
219
00:09:15,561 --> 00:09:16,827
Au revoir!
220
00:09:16,929 --> 00:09:18,929
(subway tone)
221
00:09:24,470 --> 00:09:27,204
(whistling, booming)
222
00:09:32,078 --> 00:09:33,744
??
223
00:09:33,846 --> 00:09:35,546
Hey. Come on in, come on.
224
00:09:37,717 --> 00:09:39,550
Okay, let's set these bad boys up.
225
00:09:39,652 --> 00:09:42,519
Okay. All right.
226
00:09:42,621 --> 00:09:45,422
You are saving my ass,
Abbi, I owe you one.
227
00:09:45,524 --> 00:09:47,491
There is no reason
why I was not prepared
228
00:09:47,593 --> 00:09:50,494
to do this exact task
on a day such as today.
229
00:09:50,596 --> 00:09:52,329
I should have known she
was gonna want macarons
230
00:09:52,431 --> 00:09:53,697
and not carrot cake.
231
00:09:53,799 --> 00:09:55,432
And she's been hinting
about it all week.
232
00:09:55,534 --> 00:09:57,534
I (bleep) hate hints.
I never respond to 'em.
233
00:09:57,636 --> 00:09:59,002
Just say what you want.
234
00:09:59,105 --> 00:10:01,338
- Totally.
- Hints are the worst.
235
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:03,273
It's like, do you want
to tell me the thing
236
00:10:03,375 --> 00:10:05,175
you're trying to tell me about?
237
00:10:05,277 --> 00:10:07,444
Please just tell me
directly what you want,
238
00:10:07,546 --> 00:10:09,012
'cause then I'll do the thing.
239
00:10:09,115 --> 00:10:12,449
I'll do the damn thing, I
just need a (bleep) clue.
240
00:10:14,553 --> 00:10:16,987
Thank you, thank you for helping out.
241
00:10:17,089 --> 00:10:19,389
And please stay. Eat, drink, mingle.
242
00:10:19,492 --> 00:10:21,625
I'm gonna get my girl.
243
00:10:21,727 --> 00:10:23,327
Okay.
244
00:10:23,429 --> 00:10:24,895
(wolf howling)
245
00:10:24,997 --> 00:10:26,897
(wolf whistle)
246
00:10:28,801 --> 00:10:30,167
Wow.
247
00:10:30,269 --> 00:10:33,203
(chuckling)
248
00:10:33,305 --> 00:10:35,205
So you're in town just
for one more night.
249
00:10:35,307 --> 00:10:38,809
Yeah, with... Did you meet my partner?
250
00:10:38,911 --> 00:10:40,511
Dean?
251
00:10:41,614 --> 00:10:43,814
I have not.
252
00:10:43,916 --> 00:10:45,682
He looks smart.
253
00:10:45,785 --> 00:10:46,917
That's... That's what I'm getting.
254
00:10:47,019 --> 00:10:49,453
Well, we are always looking for someone
255
00:10:49,555 --> 00:10:50,654
to show us a good time.
256
00:10:50,756 --> 00:10:54,491
Do you mean, like...
257
00:10:54,593 --> 00:10:55,626
Yeah.
258
00:10:55,728 --> 00:10:57,995
(gasping)
259
00:11:03,402 --> 00:11:05,369
You really came through tonight, Ab.
260
00:11:05,471 --> 00:11:07,104
You know, I've been
wanting to talk to you.
261
00:11:07,206 --> 00:11:11,241
I checked out your website
recently, Abbilicious.com?
262
00:11:11,343 --> 00:11:13,477
Oh, that's old. That's from college.
263
00:11:13,579 --> 00:11:15,445
Really wonderful stuff.
264
00:11:15,548 --> 00:11:17,014
Funny, great sense of color.
265
00:11:17,116 --> 00:11:19,149
I was thinking we should get dinner.
266
00:11:19,251 --> 00:11:20,751
Yeah, maybe one night this week.
267
00:11:20,853 --> 00:11:23,020
Talk about your goals
and you potentially
268
00:11:23,122 --> 00:11:24,893
taking on more creative assignments.
269
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:29,359
That sound good?
270
00:11:31,063 --> 00:11:33,197
Yeah, that sounds...
271
00:11:33,299 --> 00:11:36,333
That sounds... I hear it.
272
00:11:36,435 --> 00:11:38,468
Check out my schedule
and put it on the books.
273
00:11:38,571 --> 00:11:40,804
Okay, great. Sounds great.
274
00:11:41,974 --> 00:11:43,273
Yeah.
275
00:11:43,375 --> 00:11:45,242
Well, well, well...
276
00:11:45,344 --> 00:11:48,512
Looks like Abbi's night's
turning around, huh?
277
00:11:48,614 --> 00:11:50,047
- Abbi!
- (cat screeching) Hey.
278
00:11:50,149 --> 00:11:52,382
- Come with me.
- All right.
279
00:11:54,053 --> 00:11:55,819
- Where are we going?
- Jesus Christ.
280
00:11:55,921 --> 00:11:56,987
This is not a joke.
281
00:11:57,089 --> 00:11:58,422
(chuckling)
282
00:11:58,524 --> 00:12:00,657
(clearing throat)
283
00:12:00,759 --> 00:12:02,192
So, um, how are you feeling?
284
00:12:02,294 --> 00:12:05,529
Yeah, I'm feeling, definitely,
like, a little bit different, right?
285
00:12:05,631 --> 00:12:07,064
- We're dropping, right?
- Yeah.
286
00:12:07,166 --> 00:12:09,132
Our serotonin is, like,
fully (bleep) depleted.
287
00:12:09,235 --> 00:12:10,534
- Yeah.
- We're just gonna blaze
288
00:12:10,636 --> 00:12:12,536
- and boost ourselves right back up.
- Okay.
289
00:12:12,638 --> 00:12:16,573
Dara wants to schedule a
dinner with me, just us,
290
00:12:16,675 --> 00:12:20,043
to talk about me taking on
more creative assignments.
291
00:12:20,145 --> 00:12:22,512
(inhaling) Creative assignments?
292
00:12:22,615 --> 00:12:24,548
- Yeah.
- Yass, beesh!
293
00:12:24,650 --> 00:12:26,149
My body still feels, like,
kinda weird right now,
294
00:12:26,252 --> 00:12:29,186
but I'm able to process that
this is, like, really good.
295
00:12:29,622 --> 00:12:31,388
We are thriving.
296
00:12:33,392 --> 00:12:34,758
I'm about to (bleep)
two of the hottest people
297
00:12:34,860 --> 00:12:36,360
I've ever seen, a couple.
298
00:12:36,462 --> 00:12:38,395
And the woman is older!
299
00:12:38,497 --> 00:12:40,631
(chuckling)
300
00:12:40,733 --> 00:12:42,967
And they wooed me.
301
00:12:43,069 --> 00:12:44,468
Wow.
302
00:12:44,570 --> 00:12:45,603
Ilana...
303
00:12:45,705 --> 00:12:47,571
Love is like...
304
00:12:47,673 --> 00:12:49,640
- It's like... sort of like...
- It's like, it's...
305
00:12:49,742 --> 00:12:51,408
- No, it's just... yes!
- Cool.
306
00:12:51,510 --> 00:12:54,812
And you are, like... zzhhh...
307
00:12:54,914 --> 00:12:56,647
And you, like, find it every time,
308
00:12:56,749 --> 00:12:59,016
it's like, I don't know how you do it.
309
00:12:59,118 --> 00:13:01,452
And we are just on this, like...
310
00:13:01,554 --> 00:13:03,621
(voice slowing) wild
journey that we call life.
311
00:13:09,562 --> 00:13:12,997
I am feeling that weed.
312
00:13:13,099 --> 00:13:15,566
- Hmm...
- On top of the...
313
00:13:15,668 --> 00:13:17,434
- (high-pitched) Yes. On top.
- (high-pitched) It's feeling like...
314
00:13:17,536 --> 00:13:19,603
- I do feel it.
- It is a cumulative experience.
315
00:13:19,705 --> 00:13:21,572
- (echoing) It's not nothing.
- (echoing) Very much like
316
00:13:21,674 --> 00:13:23,674
- a pressurized part.
- You know what?
317
00:13:23,776 --> 00:13:25,376
- I think we've had enough.
- I feel like I had enough.
318
00:13:25,478 --> 00:13:26,543
- I had a bunch. -
Cha-ching, see ya.
319
00:13:26,646 --> 00:13:28,579
And I'm just, um, gonna go
320
00:13:28,681 --> 00:13:32,116
have comfortable sex at
this hot couple's hotel,
321
00:13:32,218 --> 00:13:36,220
and I'm really gonna miss
you, and I love you so much.
322
00:13:36,322 --> 00:13:37,955
Ilana, I love you, too.
323
00:13:46,465 --> 00:13:48,899
(both chuckling)
324
00:13:51,537 --> 00:13:53,904
(both snorting)
325
00:13:54,006 --> 00:13:57,007
(both chuckling)
326
00:14:01,247 --> 00:14:03,414
Okay... I'm gonna go.
327
00:14:06,986 --> 00:14:10,854
? Pussy pussy pussy
puss pussy pussy pussy ?
328
00:14:10,956 --> 00:14:13,691
??
329
00:14:32,513 --> 00:14:34,579
I have a huge pussy... huge.
330
00:14:34,682 --> 00:14:37,115
Could fit you both, probably.
331
00:14:37,217 --> 00:14:40,986
Um, so should we set up
some rules or guidelines
332
00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:43,588
or a safe word?
333
00:14:43,691 --> 00:14:49,027
Wow, wow, you guys are like
hard-bodied Greek statues.
334
00:14:49,129 --> 00:14:53,231
I hope you're into a
soft Russian peasant body.
335
00:14:53,334 --> 00:14:55,634
(chuckling)
336
00:14:57,371 --> 00:15:00,939
Wow, so stimulating.
337
00:15:02,710 --> 00:15:05,077
Really hot. Whew.
338
00:15:05,179 --> 00:15:07,679
Woo! Yowza.
339
00:15:07,781 --> 00:15:11,683
Holy Moly, wow, okay, cool abs.
340
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:14,753
Penis perfect. Incredible tits.
341
00:15:14,855 --> 00:15:16,188
(man) It's like the Sahara down here.
342
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:17,823
I must be so dehydrated
343
00:15:17,925 --> 00:15:21,660
from all the squirting and (bleep) I do.
344
00:15:21,762 --> 00:15:22,995
I'll...
I'll B-R-B.
345
00:15:23,097 --> 00:15:24,529
I'll
B-R-B.
346
00:15:26,734 --> 00:15:28,133
(adjusting dial)
347
00:15:28,235 --> 00:15:30,202
?? (big band)
348
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,436
(adjusting dial)
349
00:15:31,538 --> 00:15:33,872
?? (pop song)
350
00:15:35,209 --> 00:15:36,174
??
351
00:15:36,276 --> 00:15:37,976
Okay.
352
00:15:38,078 --> 00:15:41,780
(meowing)
353
00:15:41,882 --> 00:15:44,316
(sighing)
354
00:15:47,955 --> 00:15:50,455
Okay, I'll let you out.
355
00:15:50,557 --> 00:15:52,657
(clearing throat)
356
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,259
Go ahead. (mewling)
357
00:15:54,361 --> 00:15:56,061
Okay. (squish, meow)
358
00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:57,629
You know what? I just need a minute.
359
00:15:57,731 --> 00:15:59,664
Get it together, we'll
go out to the party,
360
00:15:59,767 --> 00:16:02,000
and then we will be ourselves
with this bunch of strangers.
361
00:16:02,102 --> 00:16:03,368
All right.
362
00:16:03,470 --> 00:16:05,070
This is good, I feel better.
363
00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:07,572
Oh. Okay.
364
00:16:09,977 --> 00:16:11,176
Oh, my God.
365
00:16:11,278 --> 00:16:12,277
Oh, no!
366
00:16:12,379 --> 00:16:13,879
No, no, no, no!
367
00:16:13,981 --> 00:16:15,747
Holy shit, holy shit.
368
00:16:17,684 --> 00:16:20,519
I'm brave, and I am super cool.
369
00:16:20,621 --> 00:16:21,987
Yeah, no shit!
370
00:16:22,089 --> 00:16:23,088
It's me.
371
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:24,923
Ilana Rodham-Obama Wexler.
372
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,558
Jew-nami! Woo!
373
00:16:26,660 --> 00:16:28,460
Vulvarine! Ow!
374
00:16:28,562 --> 00:16:30,228
Nikki Min-Ashkenazi!
375
00:16:30,330 --> 00:16:32,731
Uh! I'm free, and I'm wild,
376
00:16:32,833 --> 00:16:34,499
and I got big o'titties.
377
00:16:34,601 --> 00:16:37,035
Come on, kids. Aniston out.
378
00:16:37,137 --> 00:16:38,470
Come on, come on, here we go.
379
00:16:38,572 --> 00:16:40,138
Come on!
380
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:42,474
Hey! Ilana.
381
00:16:42,576 --> 00:16:45,544
Proper oral hygiene stimulates
more than just your gums.
382
00:16:47,581 --> 00:16:50,282
Woohoo! Ready to (bleep)!
383
00:16:51,418 --> 00:16:53,318
I want you to put that on.
384
00:16:53,420 --> 00:16:54,619
Tight.
385
00:16:57,925 --> 00:16:59,958
You guys picked it up in the village?
386
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:03,762
I want you to enter Dean from behind
387
00:17:03,864 --> 00:17:05,997
while he (bleep) me out.
388
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:08,533
Dope! Very cool.
389
00:17:08,635 --> 00:17:10,669
You guys are efficient.
390
00:17:10,771 --> 00:17:13,438
Okay, entering and (bleep) out.
391
00:17:13,540 --> 00:17:15,307
Great.
392
00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:17,976
It's weird you're seeing
me in a random suitcase,
393
00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:19,544
but you still have my suitcase,
394
00:17:19,646 --> 00:17:21,313
and that's a visual reminder of me,
395
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,715
so this train of mental
hallucination makes sense.
396
00:17:23,817 --> 00:17:24,783
Totally makes sense.
397
00:17:24,885 --> 00:17:26,952
But back to business.
398
00:17:27,054 --> 00:17:29,321
Wow, Ilana. Pegasus.
399
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:30,589
This is what you always wanted.
400
00:17:30,691 --> 00:17:32,491
This is your dream. Kudos!
401
00:17:33,794 --> 00:17:37,863
I have to, um, poop... hard.
402
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:45,003
(meowing echoing) Okay.
403
00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:46,371
It's okay, okay.
404
00:17:46,473 --> 00:17:47,739
Oprah, Oprah.
405
00:17:47,841 --> 00:17:50,642
(screeching) Mark Ruffalo.
406
00:17:50,744 --> 00:17:52,410
Flutes, flutes, uh...
407
00:17:52,513 --> 00:17:54,045
Music is great. Music is great.
408
00:17:54,148 --> 00:17:55,881
(groaning)
409
00:17:55,983 --> 00:17:57,916
Pugs, pug puppies. Puppies.
410
00:17:58,018 --> 00:17:59,784
(meowing) (screaming)
411
00:17:59,887 --> 00:18:02,053
(cat screeching)
412
00:18:02,156 --> 00:18:03,755
Where is that coming from?
413
00:18:03,857 --> 00:18:05,290
(groaning) (cat screeching)
414
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,227
(screeching)
415
00:18:10,164 --> 00:18:11,997
(groaning)
416
00:18:12,099 --> 00:18:15,433
Stupid, stupid! What is wrong with you?
417
00:18:15,536 --> 00:18:17,969
I can do this. I want this.
418
00:18:18,071 --> 00:18:19,638
I'm single!
419
00:18:20,807 --> 00:18:23,475
Who's ready to (bleep)?
420
00:18:23,577 --> 00:18:26,011
- What gives?
- Ilana.
421
00:18:26,113 --> 00:18:27,779
What's going on?
422
00:18:27,881 --> 00:18:29,614
What's going on...
423
00:18:29,716 --> 00:18:33,752
is how hot and fun I am.
424
00:18:35,022 --> 00:18:36,888
See? Look at that.
425
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:38,156
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
426
00:18:38,258 --> 00:18:41,059
Ow! Uh... ow.
427
00:18:46,733 --> 00:18:48,900
(knocking)
428
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:50,535
(Dara) Hello? Dara?
429
00:18:50,637 --> 00:18:53,338
Oh, my God. Dara.
430
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:54,706
Thank God, Dara.
431
00:18:54,808 --> 00:18:56,608
I've been locked in
here for, like, hours.
432
00:18:56,710 --> 00:18:58,843
You just unlocked the door.
433
00:18:58,946 --> 00:19:00,679
What's going on?
434
00:19:00,781 --> 00:19:03,915
I'm tripping on mushrooms,
and I'm having a bad trip.
435
00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:05,584
I thought you were acting kinda funny,
436
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:08,386
but I called you on a
weekend... that's my bad.
437
00:19:08,488 --> 00:19:10,488
Yeah, I didn't know...
I wasn't ready to...
438
00:19:10,591 --> 00:19:12,524
- I would've not.
- I get it.
439
00:19:12,626 --> 00:19:14,859
We've all had bad trips. (sighing)
440
00:19:14,962 --> 00:19:16,127
This too shall pass.
441
00:19:16,230 --> 00:19:17,529
Just try to say that with me.
442
00:19:17,631 --> 00:19:19,531
(both) This too shall pass.
443
00:19:19,633 --> 00:19:22,801
This too shall pass.
444
00:19:22,803 --> 00:19:24,236
Let's get some fresh air in here.
445
00:19:24,338 --> 00:19:25,570
Yeah, I didn't even think about that.
446
00:19:25,672 --> 00:19:27,305
Yeah, that'll make you feel better.
447
00:19:27,407 --> 00:19:29,741
Amanda? Amanda!
448
00:19:29,843 --> 00:19:31,590
Amanda asked to go
outside, I just let her out!
449
00:19:31,625 --> 00:19:32,811
You killed my cat!
450
00:19:32,913 --> 00:19:34,779
What the (bleep)... You (bleep) monster?
451
00:19:34,881 --> 00:19:35,847
You killed Amanda!
452
00:19:35,949 --> 00:19:38,283
No, no! (woman screaming)
453
00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:40,485
- Okay, I would not...
- She's smushed!
454
00:19:40,587 --> 00:19:41,620
This too shall pass,
this too shall pass!
455
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:43,788
This too shall not (bleep) pass!
456
00:19:43,890 --> 00:19:46,091
You're fired. Get the
hell out of my house.
457
00:19:46,193 --> 00:19:47,892
- Wait, wait, wait, this is a...
- Now!
458
00:19:47,995 --> 00:19:49,361
Okay, okay, yeah.
459
00:19:49,463 --> 00:19:51,196
(bleep) drug addict.
460
00:19:51,298 --> 00:19:54,508
- Oh, Amanda!
- Okay, just let me... okay.
461
00:19:55,467 --> 00:19:57,433
(sniffing)
462
00:20:10,014 --> 00:20:11,714
Let's do this.
463
00:20:14,953 --> 00:20:16,386
Doesn't look that high.
464
00:20:16,488 --> 00:20:19,856
Guess they have to carb-load
after their (bleep) hike.
465
00:20:19,958 --> 00:20:22,592
Ew. Ew. Ugh. Not into it.
466
00:20:24,129 --> 00:20:25,862
Dodged a (bleep) bullet.
467
00:20:25,964 --> 00:20:27,330
I wouldn't want that kind of intimacy.
468
00:20:27,432 --> 00:20:29,899
(clearing throat) (neck cracks)
469
00:20:30,001 --> 00:20:32,068
Cute. So cute.
470
00:20:32,170 --> 00:20:33,469
Goddammit.
471
00:20:33,571 --> 00:20:35,872
I love them. Oh, I hate them.
472
00:20:37,342 --> 00:20:40,843
(bleep)! (bleep)! (bleep)! (bleep)!
473
00:20:40,945 --> 00:20:43,079
? Hey, li'l kid, what's poppin'? ?
474
00:20:43,181 --> 00:20:44,914
? Hey, li'l kid, what's poppin'? ?
475
00:20:45,016 --> 00:20:47,650
? No, we don't want no problem... ?
476
00:20:47,752 --> 00:20:49,118
(sniffing)
477
00:20:49,220 --> 00:20:51,454
(sighing)
478
00:20:51,556 --> 00:20:52,789
? Hey, li'l kid, what's poppin'? ?
479
00:20:52,891 --> 00:20:54,557
Delete. Delete.
480
00:20:54,659 --> 00:20:56,793
Unsubscribe. Unsubscribe.
481
00:20:56,895 --> 00:20:58,328
Unfollow, unfollow, unfriend!
482
00:20:58,430 --> 00:20:59,812
(sniffing)
483
00:21:04,956 --> 00:21:06,496
(sighing) I feel better.
484
00:21:06,497 --> 00:21:08,531
Yeah, good job, dude. I'm proud of you.
485
00:21:09,787 --> 00:21:14,288
That was also the same sound
the cat made as it died slowly.
486
00:21:15,199 --> 00:21:16,562
It's not your fault.
487
00:21:17,461 --> 00:21:18,921
Isn't it, though?
488
00:21:19,363 --> 00:21:20,510
Yes.
489
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:25,110
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
32628
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof