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1
00:00:26,886 --> 00:00:31,093
Do you think that I should keep my bangs
growing out long or cut 'em like Amelie style?
2
00:00:31,128 --> 00:00:32,422
Keep 'em growing out, more witchy.
3
00:00:32,524 --> 00:00:33,623
Bangs growing out are witchy?
4
00:00:33,725 --> 00:00:35,158
Yeah, but das a good thing.
5
00:00:35,260 --> 00:00:37,027
Witch shit is (bleep) hot, dawg.
6
00:00:37,129 --> 00:00:38,628
Hot dog!
7
00:00:38,730 --> 00:00:40,730
So, you're gonna head inside right here,
8
00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:42,165
Judy's gonna be in there to greet you
9
00:00:42,267 --> 00:00:43,833
and help you fill out
all your paperwork.
10
00:00:43,936 --> 00:00:46,569
And remember, you are a strong queen.
11
00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:48,605
Your body, your choice. Simple.
12
00:00:48,707 --> 00:00:50,040
(man) Don't go in there!
13
00:00:50,142 --> 00:00:51,074
Don't!
14
00:00:53,812 --> 00:00:55,045
They're God's children.
15
00:00:55,147 --> 00:00:57,547
(man) You're killing the innocent!
16
00:00:57,649 --> 00:00:59,849
You don't know how much you need that!
17
00:00:59,952 --> 00:01:01,551
(coughing)
18
00:01:01,653 --> 00:01:03,987
You need to chill!
19
00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:07,157
So what else is witchy?
20
00:01:07,259 --> 00:01:08,858
Clogs, long nails.
21
00:01:08,961 --> 00:01:09,960
Short nails, soup.
22
00:01:10,062 --> 00:01:11,528
Huh. Flutes?
23
00:01:11,630 --> 00:01:13,563
Yas, flutes.
24
00:01:15,233 --> 00:01:17,634
Why are we doing this?
25
00:01:17,736 --> 00:01:20,203
(woman) What if they
had aborted baby Jesus?
26
00:01:20,305 --> 00:01:22,942
? Four and three and two and one ?
27
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:26,235
Sync and corrections by rickSG
www.addic7ed.com
28
00:01:27,279 --> 00:01:28,178
(elevator dings)
29
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:30,146
How's it going?
30
00:01:30,248 --> 00:01:31,614
Got one?
31
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,516
Ooh!
32
00:01:33,618 --> 00:01:36,019
Oh! My man!
33
00:01:37,689 --> 00:01:39,956
Mm.
34
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:41,124
Abs?
35
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:43,626
Dara, hey. (clears throat)
36
00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:45,161
I was just checking
out... Uh, the chair,
37
00:01:45,263 --> 00:01:46,705
making sure the height was right.
38
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:48,298
Got the cappuccino.
39
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,166
Collated the logos for your 3:00 p.m.
40
00:01:50,268 --> 00:01:52,135
And what about the cat food?
41
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:55,805
Yes, cat food right over
here, totally organic.
42
00:01:55,907 --> 00:02:00,043
Also, okay, so I had a
couple free hours last night,
43
00:02:00,145 --> 00:02:01,845
I did some mock-ups
for the brochures...
44
00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:03,079
What about the kitty litter?
45
00:02:03,181 --> 00:02:04,681
Yeah, I thought I'd
put everything over...
46
00:02:04,783 --> 00:02:06,950
- I mean, is it organic?
- Is it...
47
00:02:07,052 --> 00:02:10,220
I didn't know that the kitty
litter could be organic as well.
48
00:02:10,322 --> 00:02:11,721
Yeah.
49
00:02:11,823 --> 00:02:13,823
Well, I have enough
kitty litter for today,
50
00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:15,825
but please pick up some tomorrow.
51
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,127
First thing.
52
00:02:17,229 --> 00:02:19,262
All right! Rock star.
53
00:02:19,364 --> 00:02:20,897
- Hey, Abs?
- Ooh, yeah.
54
00:02:20,999 --> 00:02:22,932
Did you get her moccasins
back from the cobbler?
55
00:02:23,035 --> 00:02:24,901
Right, so the front pair,
56
00:02:25,003 --> 00:02:26,102
they're still working on the bead work,
57
00:02:26,204 --> 00:02:27,704
rear pair is all done.
58
00:02:27,806 --> 00:02:31,708
Both sets should be finished by the
time Amanda's out of the spa weekend.
59
00:02:31,810 --> 00:02:33,009
You know what?
60
00:02:33,111 --> 00:02:34,477
I'm gonna call right now
and I'm gonna be like,
61
00:02:34,579 --> 00:02:36,146
hey, guys, get your shit together.
62
00:02:36,248 --> 00:02:37,580
Thank you.
63
00:02:37,682 --> 00:02:39,215
I love my new job.
64
00:02:41,153 --> 00:02:43,720
(sighs)
65
00:02:43,822 --> 00:02:45,155
Mm.
66
00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:49,225
? Bye-bye to the
prim and the proper ?
67
00:02:49,327 --> 00:02:51,494
? Bye-bye to the
pink and the posture ?
68
00:02:51,596 --> 00:02:52,996
? Ay yi yi ?
69
00:02:53,098 --> 00:02:55,665
? Bye-bye to
everything in time ??
70
00:02:55,988 --> 00:02:58,708
_
71
00:02:59,237 --> 00:03:01,871
(cell phone vibrating)
72
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,406
Hello?
73
00:03:03,508 --> 00:03:07,077
Hey, I've got a package here
for Abbi Abrams at "Soul-stice,"
74
00:03:07,179 --> 00:03:09,746
but they're telling me you
don't work here anymore, yo.
75
00:03:09,848 --> 00:03:13,283
Um, yeah. No, I... I'm at a new job.
76
00:03:13,385 --> 00:03:16,319
It must have been shipped
to my default address.
77
00:03:16,421 --> 00:03:18,521
Is there any way that you
could ship it to my new address?
78
00:03:18,623 --> 00:03:20,723
Nah, I could have it destroyed or taken
79
00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:23,093
to our distribution center
on North Brother Island.
80
00:03:23,195 --> 00:03:25,562
No, no, no, no, no,
please don't do that, um...
81
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:27,964
You know what? Leave it, leave
it, I will come and get it.
82
00:03:28,066 --> 00:03:29,799
- Okay.
- Great.
83
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:33,736
(cell phone ringing)
84
00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:35,605
What up, my fellow Ashkenazi Jew?
85
00:03:35,707 --> 00:03:36,673
Emergency, dude.
86
00:03:36,775 --> 00:03:39,142
Okay, so I accidentally sent a package
87
00:03:39,244 --> 00:03:40,910
to Soulstice.
88
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,545
- Ooh.
- I know.
89
00:03:42,647 --> 00:03:46,349
Can you do me a huge, huge
favor and go pick it up for me?
90
00:03:46,451 --> 00:03:48,118
I can't go back there.
91
00:03:48,220 --> 00:03:51,187
Why not? 'Cause you crushed Trey
and fully disrespected his existence?
92
00:03:51,289 --> 00:03:54,190
Or because you staged your own
Publisher's Clearinghouse at the gym?
93
00:03:54,292 --> 00:03:56,292
Uh, it was Powerball, but both.
94
00:03:56,394 --> 00:03:57,994
Oh, right.
95
00:03:58,096 --> 00:04:00,930
Are you eating a baked potato?
96
00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:03,800
Well, it's cut in half, so it's a
lunch potato and a dinner potato.
97
00:04:03,902 --> 00:04:05,168
Mmm.
98
00:04:05,270 --> 00:04:07,837
Anyway, I would go to
Soulstice, but I can't.
99
00:04:07,939 --> 00:04:10,106
I have that interview, finally,
that Jaime hooked me up with.
100
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:11,975
So freakin' broke, dude.
101
00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:13,409
So broke!
102
00:04:13,512 --> 00:04:17,213
I guess I could make up
a lie and get out of work.
103
00:04:17,315 --> 00:04:18,826
Well, good luck, m' witch.
104
00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,068
Keep me posted. (kissing)
105
00:04:20,103 --> 00:04:21,429
Bye.
106
00:04:25,824 --> 00:04:28,458
(musical flourish)
107
00:04:31,163 --> 00:04:32,262
(knocking)
108
00:04:32,364 --> 00:04:33,296
Hey, Dara.
109
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,064
Um...
110
00:04:35,167 --> 00:04:37,500
I just found out my parents
are getting divorced.
111
00:04:37,602 --> 00:04:38,801
Wow.
112
00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:40,403
Yeah, um...
113
00:04:40,505 --> 00:04:42,105
Yeah, I...
114
00:04:42,207 --> 00:04:46,042
I think I need to take an
emergency therapy session today.
115
00:04:46,144 --> 00:04:47,977
Oh, like, now?
116
00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:49,779
- Yeah, today.
- All right.
117
00:04:49,881 --> 00:04:52,282
- You go, take care of this.
- Thank you.
118
00:04:52,384 --> 00:04:55,919
Thank you for being so honest
about your need for mental help.
119
00:04:56,021 --> 00:04:58,021
(softly) Okay, great.
120
00:05:00,192 --> 00:05:02,125
??
121
00:05:06,498 --> 00:05:07,730
Hello.
122
00:05:07,832 --> 00:05:10,333
We're not open. Get out.
123
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:11,601
My name is Ilana Wexler.
124
00:05:11,703 --> 00:05:14,070
I have an interview
about the waitressing job.
125
00:05:14,172 --> 00:05:16,472
Oh, you're friends with
the little Guatemalan boy.
126
00:05:16,575 --> 00:05:18,554
What are you, five-two?
127
00:05:19,844 --> 00:05:21,411
Five-one-and-a-half.
128
00:05:21,513 --> 00:05:23,279
I'm sorry.
129
00:05:23,381 --> 00:05:25,114
(sighs)
130
00:05:25,217 --> 00:05:26,849
Okay.
131
00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:30,715
So you waited tables in... Long Island?
132
00:05:30,850 --> 00:05:34,557
Yes, but Dumper's Post was way
more sophisticated than it sounds.
133
00:05:34,659 --> 00:05:37,665
I also served at the Golden
Heirloom, a home for the elderly.
134
00:05:37,826 --> 00:05:39,596
I would birdfeed them tapioca.
135
00:05:39,698 --> 00:05:41,397
Wait, stop. Listen...
136
00:05:41,499 --> 00:05:44,934
The only way to make it in the
world of Manhattan restauranteries
137
00:05:45,036 --> 00:05:46,869
is to be a Kween of Mean.
138
00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:48,972
And I can already
tell, you don't have it.
139
00:05:49,074 --> 00:05:52,575
Look, why don't you go work
in a Connecticut Muffin, honey.
140
00:05:52,677 --> 00:05:53,354
Oh, no.
141
00:05:53,518 --> 00:05:56,579
And when you turn into
a Conneti (bleep) muffin,
142
00:05:56,681 --> 00:05:59,720
you can come back to
Sushi Mambeaux, okay?
143
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:02,118
Great.
144
00:06:02,220 --> 00:06:03,586
Be gone. Get your shit.
145
00:06:03,688 --> 00:06:04,687
Okay, all right.
146
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:14,731
You know what?
147
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,733
You're a general manager at a restaurant
148
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:18,568
with a B health grade,
149
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:22,138
so maybe you wanna drop
the (bleep) attitude.
150
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:25,875
And just because "Sex & the City"
filmed here 25 years ago one time,
151
00:06:25,977 --> 00:06:27,610
doesn't mean that I need this,
152
00:06:27,712 --> 00:06:31,113
so (bleep) you and your
Manhattan restauranteries.
153
00:06:33,952 --> 00:06:35,218
You're hired.
154
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:39,055
(softly) Just get in and get out.
155
00:06:39,157 --> 00:06:40,323
Hey, um...
156
00:06:40,425 --> 00:06:41,791
I'm looking for a package.
157
00:06:41,893 --> 00:06:43,626
This isn't a post office.
158
00:06:43,728 --> 00:06:45,595
This is a gym for people to work out.
159
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:49,299
Yeah, I know what a gym is.
160
00:06:52,337 --> 00:06:54,270
Can you just look for
a package for Abbi?
161
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:57,240
I used to work here.
My name is Abbi Abrams.
162
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:00,577
Piece of work.
163
00:07:00,679 --> 00:07:03,947
No, I wouldn't recommend
steroids for you yet. (bleep)
164
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,844
But... We'll see where we wanna go.
165
00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:08,718
You wanna get really big,
where you can lift a dancer,
166
00:07:08,820 --> 00:07:11,262
- we might think about it.
- Okay.
167
00:07:11,990 --> 00:07:13,390
Nice grip, Shania.
168
00:07:13,492 --> 00:07:16,193
You're getting strong. Forearm's good.
169
00:07:16,295 --> 00:07:17,844
Shania Twain!
170
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,693
- Hey.
- Ilana, it's me.
171
00:07:23,795 --> 00:07:25,128
Okay, I'm at Soulstice,
172
00:07:25,230 --> 00:07:28,198
and you will never guess
who is training here today.
173
00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:32,569
Canadian queen of country
pop, Shania Twain, dude!
174
00:07:32,671 --> 00:07:33,737
Okay, cool.
175
00:07:35,407 --> 00:07:38,174
Ilana.
176
00:07:38,277 --> 00:07:39,609
(cell phone vibrating) Yes?
177
00:07:39,711 --> 00:07:42,045
Hey, I think you have bad
service, 'cause it just...
178
00:07:42,147 --> 00:07:43,413
No, I... I hung up on you.
179
00:07:43,515 --> 00:07:45,549
Dude, you cannot keep lying
about this Shania shit.
180
00:07:45,651 --> 00:07:47,284
It's getting weird.
181
00:07:47,386 --> 00:07:49,619
She is here. I just saw her.
182
00:07:49,721 --> 00:07:51,221
Abbi, you're a (bleep) liar.
183
00:07:51,323 --> 00:07:53,323
Whoa, Ilana, Jesus.
184
00:07:53,425 --> 00:07:55,859
Sorry, I'm training for my
new job as a bitch waitress,
185
00:07:55,961 --> 00:07:57,260
and I'm getting really good at it.
186
00:07:57,362 --> 00:07:59,696
But listen, you lied to quit Soulstice,
187
00:07:59,798 --> 00:08:01,498
you lied to get out of work today,
188
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,601
and your most egregious lie was
Shania, 'cause that was to me.
189
00:08:04,703 --> 00:08:07,170
You're my pretty little
liar and that's the truth.
190
00:08:07,272 --> 00:08:09,105
Okay, well, you know what?
191
00:08:09,207 --> 00:08:10,407
I'm gonna prove it to you.
192
00:08:10,509 --> 00:08:11,575
I'm going back in.
193
00:08:11,677 --> 00:08:13,476
I hope you mean go to therapy,
194
00:08:13,579 --> 00:08:14,878
'cause this lie is getting tragic.
195
00:08:14,980 --> 00:08:15,879
Love you.
196
00:08:15,981 --> 00:08:17,247
Yeah, I love you, too!
197
00:08:17,349 --> 00:08:18,248
God.
198
00:08:18,350 --> 00:08:21,284
This is so hard.
199
00:08:21,386 --> 00:08:22,986
Okay, we're just warming
up your wrist, Shania.
200
00:08:23,088 --> 00:08:24,220
You got this, all right?
201
00:08:24,323 --> 00:08:25,388
Okay, okay, okay...
202
00:08:25,490 --> 00:08:27,657
Ow, ow, ow, ow! My
wrist, my wrist, my wrist!
203
00:08:27,759 --> 00:08:29,426
Hey, hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what's going on over here?
204
00:08:29,528 --> 00:08:34,631
This lady was trying to
take a picture of Shania.
205
00:08:34,733 --> 00:08:36,366
Oh.
206
00:08:37,569 --> 00:08:38,902
At ease, Maria.
207
00:08:39,004 --> 00:08:40,403
Thanks.
208
00:08:40,505 --> 00:08:42,472
- Shania, take five.
- How about 15?
209
00:08:42,574 --> 00:08:44,074
I'm gonna hit the smoothie bar.
210
00:08:44,176 --> 00:08:47,010
? Man, I feel like a smoothie ?
211
00:08:47,112 --> 00:08:49,579
Okay, Trey, I can
explain what's happening.
212
00:08:49,681 --> 00:08:51,648
No, I know why you're here.
213
00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:53,083
Closure.
214
00:08:53,185 --> 00:08:54,684
You came to talk about
what happened with us.
215
00:08:54,786 --> 00:08:59,489
No, I... I accidentally sent
a package to the front desk.
216
00:08:59,591 --> 00:09:01,157
- Yeah.
- Oh.
217
00:09:01,259 --> 00:09:04,394
But, Trey, I texted you a bunch
of times and you didn't respond,
218
00:09:04,496 --> 00:09:07,864
so I just figured that you
did not want to see me again.
219
00:09:07,966 --> 00:09:10,500
I just wasn't ready to talk yet.
220
00:09:10,602 --> 00:09:14,704
But before I knew it, you quit
'cause you "won Powerball."
221
00:09:16,141 --> 00:09:18,675
I didn't win Powerball.
222
00:09:18,777 --> 00:09:20,910
Yeah, I know, that's why I did this.
223
00:09:21,013 --> 00:09:22,278
They're called air quotes.
224
00:09:22,381 --> 00:09:23,513
Does everybody know?
225
00:09:23,615 --> 00:09:25,782
I think so, air quotes
are pretty big now.
226
00:09:25,884 --> 00:09:29,786
Okay, well, listen, I'm... I'm
trying to be a better person now
227
00:09:29,888 --> 00:09:32,522
and that's why, actually, I was
taking the secret pics of Shania.
228
00:09:32,624 --> 00:09:35,492
Oh, Abbi, I think that
headlock really messed you up.
229
00:09:35,594 --> 00:09:37,160
No, okay.
230
00:09:37,262 --> 00:09:40,730
I have been lying about training
Shania Twain for, like, years.
231
00:09:40,832 --> 00:09:43,466
And I was just trying to
prove that she was here
232
00:09:43,568 --> 00:09:45,869
and then it would be true
or something, I don't know.
233
00:09:45,971 --> 00:09:48,138
I mean, just let me take one pic.
234
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:49,372
Abbi!
235
00:09:49,474 --> 00:09:51,307
Okay, Trey, just listen.
236
00:09:51,410 --> 00:09:54,010
Let me...
237
00:09:54,112 --> 00:09:55,545
train her with you, okay?
238
00:09:55,647 --> 00:09:56,880
I could be your Goose.
239
00:09:56,982 --> 00:09:59,549
Do not bring up "Top Gun" right now.
240
00:09:59,651 --> 00:10:02,252
I need to be honest now. Let me...
241
00:10:02,354 --> 00:10:04,754
Just let me do this, please.
242
00:10:06,925 --> 00:10:08,191
(sighs)
243
00:10:08,293 --> 00:10:10,360
I can't believe I'm saying this,
244
00:10:10,462 --> 00:10:13,863
but okay, you can train her with me.
245
00:10:13,965 --> 00:10:17,567
But I gotta warn you, she
has a naturally gorgeous body,
246
00:10:17,669 --> 00:10:20,236
incredible genes, so she
does not like to work out.
247
00:10:20,338 --> 00:10:23,206
It is a real challenge.
248
00:10:23,308 --> 00:10:26,776
I knew "Top Gun" would work.
249
00:10:26,878 --> 00:10:30,447
Don't expect anyone to learn your name.
250
00:10:30,549 --> 00:10:31,681
That's Parker.
251
00:10:31,783 --> 00:10:33,249
I call him Mini-Me,
252
00:10:33,351 --> 00:10:36,019
because he wants to be me so bad.
253
00:10:36,121 --> 00:10:39,477
That's Kara. I call her
The Wall. Drake texts her.
254
00:10:39,691 --> 00:10:41,491
She doesn't text back. (sighs)
255
00:10:41,593 --> 00:10:42,592
That's Owen.
256
00:10:42,694 --> 00:10:43,960
I call him Valtrex.
257
00:10:44,062 --> 00:10:45,261
He has herpes.
258
00:10:45,363 --> 00:10:46,930
No shade, most people have herpes.
259
00:10:47,032 --> 00:10:48,198
That's Brenda.
260
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:50,533
She doesn't have a
nickname, wouldn't allow it.
261
00:10:50,635 --> 00:10:53,203
Seniority. She came with the building.
262
00:10:53,305 --> 00:10:57,741
So if you're the right fit,
your nickname will find you.
263
00:10:57,843 --> 00:11:01,244
I'm putting you in
section eight tonight.
264
00:11:01,346 --> 00:11:04,214
And one last thing.
265
00:11:04,316 --> 00:11:05,782
Don't (bleep) it up.
266
00:11:07,319 --> 00:11:10,754
You got it. You got it, man.
267
00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:17,794
- Hey, Shania, this is...
- Abbi.
268
00:11:21,633 --> 00:11:24,200
Hi... Shania Twain.
269
00:11:24,302 --> 00:11:25,602
Hi.
270
00:11:25,704 --> 00:11:27,537
You have no idea how many times
271
00:11:27,639 --> 00:11:29,305
I have said that this has happened.
272
00:11:29,407 --> 00:11:30,974
Okay! Let's work out.
273
00:11:31,076 --> 00:11:32,861
All right? Let's go, girls.
274
00:11:33,412 --> 00:11:34,811
All right, strong core, nice.
275
00:11:34,913 --> 00:11:36,213
Mm-hmm.
276
00:11:36,315 --> 00:11:38,114
Great, you look... It
looks great, Shania.
277
00:11:38,217 --> 00:11:39,816
Great. Keep those hips back. Nice.
278
00:11:39,918 --> 00:11:42,085
Can we stop?
279
00:11:42,187 --> 00:11:45,188
I just... Honestly, I want to
go home and watch "Friends."
280
00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:47,457
- Oh, I love "Friends."
- Oh, I love "Friends."
281
00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:49,392
I'm such a Chandler.
282
00:11:49,495 --> 00:11:51,094
- I'm such a Ross.
- Total Rachel.
283
00:11:51,196 --> 00:11:52,796
A little Gunther, also.
284
00:11:52,898 --> 00:11:54,211
Oh, I'm a little bit Phoebe.
285
00:11:54,246 --> 00:11:55,332
(clears throat)
286
00:11:55,434 --> 00:11:57,701
Trey, you have to do
the Ross impression.
287
00:11:57,803 --> 00:11:58,768
- No...
- Please.
288
00:11:58,871 --> 00:12:00,803
- No.
- Come on, I wanna see it.
289
00:12:00,838 --> 00:12:03,006
If you do it, I'll do the climber.
290
00:12:05,344 --> 00:12:07,177
(imitating Ross) Uh, uh, uh, uh...
291
00:12:07,279 --> 00:12:08,440
Fine by me!
292
00:12:08,475 --> 00:12:10,213
Ha ha!
293
00:12:11,124 --> 00:12:12,048
You know what?
294
00:12:12,150 --> 00:12:14,885
You owe me a stair climber,
so let's move, okay?
295
00:12:14,987 --> 00:12:16,419
Yeah, you owe us a climber!
296
00:12:16,522 --> 00:12:17,420
(Trey) Come on.
297
00:12:18,657 --> 00:12:20,257
What's the petit uni?
298
00:12:20,359 --> 00:12:21,181
Oh.
299
00:12:21,257 --> 00:12:23,827
If you have to ask, it's
probably not for you-ni.
300
00:12:23,929 --> 00:12:27,430
(chuckles) No, I know.
301
00:12:27,533 --> 00:12:29,032
We'll have eight.
302
00:12:29,134 --> 00:12:31,301
I'm so sorry, we do not accept Medicaid.
303
00:12:31,403 --> 00:12:32,969
How dare you?!
304
00:12:33,071 --> 00:12:35,272
We want your most expensive entrees.
305
00:12:35,374 --> 00:12:38,341
Did you two take the bridge or
the tunnel to get here today?
306
00:12:38,443 --> 00:12:39,309
Ugh!
307
00:12:39,411 --> 00:12:41,311
My dad owns H&M.
308
00:12:41,413 --> 00:12:43,818
We'll take one of everything, you whore.
309
00:12:44,445 --> 00:12:46,149
Played you, bitch.
310
00:12:49,871 --> 00:12:51,724
Mmm, oh, God, what are you doing?
311
00:12:51,725 --> 00:12:52,761
This isn't you!
312
00:12:52,762 --> 00:12:55,004
You lift people up, you
don't tear them down!
313
00:12:57,348 --> 00:12:58,489
Hm.
314
00:12:59,873 --> 00:13:00,843
Right.
315
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:02,963
Yeah.
316
00:13:03,268 --> 00:13:05,535
Yeah, that's right!
317
00:13:05,637 --> 00:13:07,237
(kisses)
318
00:13:09,241 --> 00:13:11,074
Marcel, um...
319
00:13:11,176 --> 00:13:13,076
I'm really struggling to be mean.
320
00:13:13,178 --> 00:13:14,511
This just isn't me.
321
00:13:14,613 --> 00:13:16,012
Wow.
322
00:13:16,114 --> 00:13:18,448
I... I have to quit.
323
00:13:20,118 --> 00:13:21,351
Oh, you dropped your scarf.
324
00:13:21,453 --> 00:13:22,419
Oh, my old knees.
325
00:13:24,156 --> 00:13:27,290
Brenda, oh, my God, I'm so sorry!
326
00:13:27,392 --> 00:13:28,458
Don't touch me!
327
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,694
Oh, why, why?
328
00:13:30,796 --> 00:13:32,963
Why me?!
329
00:13:33,065 --> 00:13:34,264
Oh!
330
00:13:34,366 --> 00:13:36,333
Brenda, I'm so sorry!
331
00:13:36,435 --> 00:13:39,369
You did it on purpose, you bitch!
332
00:13:39,471 --> 00:13:41,858
(Brenda moaning)
333
00:13:43,008 --> 00:13:44,674
You almost had me fooled.
334
00:13:44,776 --> 00:13:47,077
Marcel, no, it was an
accident, obviously.
335
00:13:47,179 --> 00:13:49,079
Doing bodily harm...
336
00:13:49,181 --> 00:13:51,348
Please... Come on, I didn't... Not...
337
00:13:51,450 --> 00:13:53,650
You a regular Tonya Harding.
338
00:13:53,752 --> 00:13:56,286
I think we found your nickname.
339
00:13:56,388 --> 00:13:57,621
Oh!
340
00:13:57,723 --> 00:13:59,389
Other Tonya.
341
00:13:59,491 --> 00:14:01,524
- Perfect.
- Get away from me.
342
00:14:01,627 --> 00:14:05,028
Strap on your strap-on,
lace up your skates,
343
00:14:05,130 --> 00:14:07,931
'cause it's time to dance.
344
00:14:08,033 --> 00:14:10,009
I'm upgrading you...
345
00:14:12,137 --> 00:14:13,236
to section two.
346
00:14:13,338 --> 00:14:15,171
Fine, I'm in.
347
00:14:15,273 --> 00:14:18,608
But this time...
348
00:14:18,710 --> 00:14:20,910
I'm doing it my way.
349
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:24,397
All right, we're gonna finish
up with some bungee flies.
350
00:14:24,499 --> 00:14:25,865
- You wanna demo?
- Yeah, okay.
351
00:14:25,967 --> 00:14:28,601
Step in, step in.
352
00:14:28,703 --> 00:14:30,903
You kinda do a little squat here.
353
00:14:31,005 --> 00:14:32,004
Uhh!
354
00:14:32,106 --> 00:14:34,040
And you just crunch it up like this.
355
00:14:34,998 --> 00:14:35,908
Full body...
356
00:14:36,010 --> 00:14:36,942
Abbi, you know what?
357
00:14:37,045 --> 00:14:38,944
Let me do that. Let's switch up.
358
00:14:39,047 --> 00:14:42,682
I just think seeing it from this angle
might be, a little bit, ahem, safer.
359
00:14:42,784 --> 00:14:45,384
So you're gonna keep your
feet shoulder width apart.
360
00:14:45,486 --> 00:14:47,119
Squeeze your arms together.
361
00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:48,988
Really squeezing that chest, okay?
362
00:14:49,090 --> 00:14:50,890
Squeeze and hold.
363
00:14:50,992 --> 00:14:52,692
Squeeze and hold.
364
00:14:52,794 --> 00:14:54,093
Get some blood flowing.
365
00:14:54,195 --> 00:14:55,561
Nice and fast then.
366
00:14:55,663 --> 00:14:57,063
- You feel it?
- I feel it.
367
00:14:57,165 --> 00:14:58,130
- You feel that pump?
- I feel it.
368
00:14:58,232 --> 00:14:59,899
- Oh, Shania! Hey!
- Shania!
369
00:15:00,001 --> 00:15:01,038
- Shania...
- Twain.
370
00:15:01,138 --> 00:15:03,002
We're gonna cool down.
Ready for a cool-down?
371
00:15:03,104 --> 00:15:04,036
- Stretch.
- Yeah?
372
00:15:04,138 --> 00:15:06,038
- And be cool.
- Yeah, let's stretch you out.
373
00:15:06,140 --> 00:15:08,474
We're gonna do an assisted scorpion
stretch, so why don't you hop on the mat?
374
00:15:08,576 --> 00:15:10,386
I forgot how to do that.
375
00:15:10,845 --> 00:15:12,712
Why don't the two of you show me?
376
00:15:12,814 --> 00:15:15,381
Sure. Um, Abbi, you wanna...
377
00:15:15,483 --> 00:15:18,551
hop on the mat there, and
I'll just stretch you out.
378
00:15:18,653 --> 00:15:20,686
Just totally...
379
00:15:20,788 --> 00:15:22,822
Okay. Um...
380
00:15:22,924 --> 00:15:25,086
I know that's your go-to, but
it's actually on your back.
381
00:15:25,121 --> 00:15:26,025
Totally.
382
00:15:26,127 --> 00:15:28,327
So you're gonna get down
on your back, face up.
383
00:15:28,429 --> 00:15:29,662
On your back, on your back.
384
00:15:29,764 --> 00:15:31,864
We're just gonna do a nice
stretch of your hamstrings
385
00:15:31,966 --> 00:15:34,567
and your glutes, so just...
386
00:15:34,669 --> 00:15:36,502
You're gonna want to
breathe into the stretch.
387
00:15:36,604 --> 00:15:37,737
Breathe in deep.
388
00:15:37,839 --> 00:15:38,838
- You feel that?
- Yeah, I feel it.
389
00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:41,774
Okay. Okay.
390
00:15:41,876 --> 00:15:43,009
Okay.
391
00:15:43,111 --> 00:15:44,277
- Is that good?
- Yeah, that's good.
392
00:15:44,379 --> 00:15:46,512
- Hot.
- Oh, my gosh, Shania, Shania!
393
00:15:46,614 --> 00:15:47,547
Okay.
394
00:15:47,649 --> 00:15:49,382
I'm just gonna go use the bathroom
395
00:15:49,484 --> 00:15:50,650
and I'll be right back, okay?
396
00:15:50,752 --> 00:15:51,684
BRB.
397
00:15:51,786 --> 00:15:53,719
- Uh, Shania, let's, uh...
- Let's dish.
398
00:15:53,821 --> 00:15:55,721
Oh, okay.
399
00:15:58,393 --> 00:16:02,929
So, what's going on between
you two co-eds anyway?
400
00:16:03,031 --> 00:16:04,330
What do you mean?
401
00:16:04,432 --> 00:16:05,631
I mean sex.
402
00:16:05,733 --> 00:16:07,600
Not all Canadians are prudes, you know.
403
00:16:07,702 --> 00:16:09,168
Yeah.
404
00:16:09,270 --> 00:16:13,039
Okay, we had a thing, for
sure, but it's... it's over.
405
00:16:13,141 --> 00:16:14,774
You're lying.
406
00:16:14,876 --> 00:16:16,442
- What?
- I can tell.
407
00:16:16,544 --> 00:16:21,013
Listen, I'm a maker of
love songs, a chanteuse.
408
00:16:21,115 --> 00:16:24,917
I can smell that there's
chemistry between you guys.
409
00:16:25,019 --> 00:16:27,687
When there's a spark, you gotta ride it.
410
00:16:27,789 --> 00:16:29,422
Yeah.
411
00:16:29,524 --> 00:16:31,657
Damn, that's a good lyric.
412
00:16:34,662 --> 00:16:39,599
? When there's a spark,
you gotta ride it ?
413
00:16:39,701 --> 00:16:43,970
? Oh, when you're in
love, don't hide it ?
414
00:16:44,072 --> 00:16:46,639
? Ooh! ?
415
00:16:46,741 --> 00:16:48,407
(bleep), I'm good.
416
00:16:53,548 --> 00:16:55,948
- Trey.
- Abbi...
417
00:16:56,050 --> 00:16:58,050
Um...
418
00:16:58,152 --> 00:16:59,318
Say it.
419
00:16:59,420 --> 00:17:00,720
Abbi, we can't do this again.
420
00:17:00,822 --> 00:17:03,089
Say it, Trey. Just say it once.
421
00:17:04,692 --> 00:17:06,080
Bazinga.
422
00:17:10,431 --> 00:17:13,032
You're a good witch, not a bad witch.
423
00:17:13,134 --> 00:17:15,368
Can I interest anybody in a cognake?
424
00:17:15,470 --> 00:17:17,737
This is a cognac and sake cocktail.
425
00:17:17,839 --> 00:17:18,971
Is it good?
426
00:17:19,073 --> 00:17:20,940
Your eyes are stunning.
427
00:17:21,042 --> 00:17:22,708
Oh!
428
00:17:22,810 --> 00:17:23,776
I'll take it.
429
00:17:23,878 --> 00:17:25,444
With that body, please.
430
00:17:25,546 --> 00:17:27,380
You could use a little more
cushion for the pushin'.
431
00:17:27,482 --> 00:17:28,648
You're right.
432
00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:30,483
We'll have three wasabi souffl�s.
433
00:17:30,585 --> 00:17:32,718
What y'all gonna have? (all laughing)
434
00:17:32,820 --> 00:17:34,887
Ah, bon soir.
435
00:17:34,989 --> 00:17:36,155
(all laughing)
436
00:17:36,257 --> 00:17:38,624
Are you guys high on weed?
437
00:17:40,128 --> 00:17:43,629
I'm getting you 17 spicy
escargot wontons, stat.
438
00:17:43,731 --> 00:17:46,399
Thank you so much, Tim Foil. (kisses)
439
00:17:50,938 --> 00:17:52,738
I don't like what the new
girl's done with this space.
440
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,006
We gotta go somewhere else.
441
00:17:54,108 --> 00:17:55,007
I'm... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Trey.
442
00:17:55,109 --> 00:17:56,042
- Okay, okay.
- Yeah. Okay.
443
00:17:56,144 --> 00:17:57,076
- All right.
- All right.
444
00:17:59,981 --> 00:18:01,113
(toilet flushing)
445
00:18:01,215 --> 00:18:02,682
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
446
00:18:02,784 --> 00:18:04,550
This is triggering, we gotta go
somewhere else, this is gross.
447
00:18:04,652 --> 00:18:06,152
- Oh, okay. Okay.
- All right.
448
00:18:06,254 --> 00:18:07,186
Oh.
449
00:18:07,288 --> 00:18:09,655
Well, Other Tonya,
450
00:18:09,757 --> 00:18:12,391
looks like you skipped the gold
and went straight for the green.
451
00:18:12,493 --> 00:18:13,793
I didn't even have to be mean.
452
00:18:13,895 --> 00:18:15,928
I made $800.
453
00:18:16,030 --> 00:18:18,564
Con-drag-ulations.
454
00:18:18,666 --> 00:18:19,732
Okay, y'all.
455
00:18:19,834 --> 00:18:21,734
I'm off to bring the leftover food
456
00:18:21,836 --> 00:18:23,869
to the homeless of New York City.
457
00:18:23,971 --> 00:18:26,706
Marcel, that's unbelievable,
that is so sweet.
458
00:18:26,808 --> 00:18:28,007
J-K, Miss Thing.
459
00:18:28,109 --> 00:18:30,142
I'm going to a party
at Andy Cohen's place.
460
00:18:30,244 --> 00:18:31,485
See you hookers tomorrow.
461
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:32,611
Bye, Marcel.
462
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,513
Good night, Dad.
463
00:18:35,917 --> 00:18:37,883
What'd you say?
464
00:18:37,985 --> 00:18:40,052
Well, the reason why I took this job
465
00:18:40,154 --> 00:18:43,956
was because I wanted to
reconnect with my fa...
466
00:18:44,058 --> 00:18:45,658
Bye, guys. Taxi!
467
00:18:53,267 --> 00:18:56,969
? They said I bet... ?
468
00:18:57,071 --> 00:18:58,771
Oh! Ow, ow, ow! Oh, my dick!
469
00:18:58,873 --> 00:19:00,773
Oh, ow. I think I broke my dick.
470
00:19:00,875 --> 00:19:03,209
Okay. Okay, uh, uh, Shania!
471
00:19:03,311 --> 00:19:05,711
You call... Can
you call 9-1-1?
472
00:19:05,813 --> 00:19:08,547
Yeah, his dick is definitely broken.
473
00:19:08,649 --> 00:19:09,815
I'll figure it out.
474
00:19:09,917 --> 00:19:12,551
It's your standard penile fracture.
475
00:19:12,653 --> 00:19:13,886
We may have to operate.
476
00:19:13,988 --> 00:19:15,187
Sorry, man.
477
00:19:15,289 --> 00:19:16,155
Ma'am?
478
00:19:16,257 --> 00:19:17,823
No, no, I said man.
479
00:19:17,925 --> 00:19:19,792
Oh. Okay, cool, thanks, Doctor.
480
00:19:19,894 --> 00:19:21,861
Oh, I'm not a doctor.
481
00:19:21,963 --> 00:19:24,830
Okay.
482
00:19:26,801 --> 00:19:28,134
Trey, I am so, so sorry.
483
00:19:28,236 --> 00:19:30,236
No, come on, it's not your fault.
484
00:19:30,338 --> 00:19:33,239
No, I shouldn't have come
in today, this was a mistake.
485
00:19:33,341 --> 00:19:34,840
Are you kidding?
486
00:19:34,942 --> 00:19:36,442
I'm so glad you came back.
487
00:19:36,544 --> 00:19:37,543
Yeah?
488
00:19:37,645 --> 00:19:39,145
We should have kept
it like this, you know?
489
00:19:39,247 --> 00:19:40,746
Physical.
490
00:19:40,848 --> 00:19:42,782
Yeah, well, when there's
a spark, you gotta ride it.
491
00:19:42,884 --> 00:19:44,683
I mean, who knows?
492
00:19:44,786 --> 00:19:46,819
I think we do know, Abbi.
493
00:19:46,921 --> 00:19:49,521
I mean, you're not the
relationship type, right?
494
00:19:51,959 --> 00:19:53,426
Yeah, totally.
495
00:19:53,528 --> 00:19:54,493
Yeah.
496
00:19:54,595 --> 00:19:56,162
You're single Abbi, and that's cool.
497
00:19:56,264 --> 00:19:58,297
Independent woman.
498
00:19:58,399 --> 00:20:00,132
Respect, mad respect.
499
00:20:00,234 --> 00:20:01,901
Yeah.
500
00:20:02,003 --> 00:20:03,302
Good-bye, Abbi.
501
00:20:03,404 --> 00:20:04,703
Bye, Trey.
502
00:20:11,112 --> 00:20:13,212
Wheel me off.
503
00:20:18,853 --> 00:20:21,253
- Hey.
- Hey.
504
00:20:22,168 --> 00:20:24,156
Mike? Mike.
505
00:20:24,258 --> 00:20:25,791
Yeah.
506
00:20:25,893 --> 00:20:28,994
- Let me get your number.
- Okay.
507
00:20:29,096 --> 00:20:31,664
'Cause I am a relationship gal.
508
00:20:31,766 --> 00:20:33,012
Fully.
509
00:20:34,163 --> 00:20:37,898
So this is Shania and I
doing partner-heel taps.
510
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,700
This one is Shania's feet
under the bathroom stall.
511
00:20:40,802 --> 00:20:42,335
She wasn't even peeing.
512
00:20:42,437 --> 00:20:44,337
She was just watching
an episode of "Scandal."
513
00:20:44,439 --> 00:20:46,873
Congratulations. You trained Shania.
514
00:20:46,975 --> 00:20:48,341
I know.
515
00:20:48,443 --> 00:20:53,313
I'm really feeling like
honesty is the best policy.
516
00:20:53,415 --> 00:20:56,816
It's the foundation of any
long-term relationship, you know?
517
00:20:56,919 --> 00:20:58,151
Ours?
518
00:20:58,253 --> 00:21:00,420
Yeah, totally.
519
00:21:00,522 --> 00:21:02,289
But I was talking about Mike and I.
520
00:21:02,391 --> 00:21:03,623
Who?
521
00:21:03,725 --> 00:21:07,060
Mike, the paramedic I met
tonight, who I'm now dating.
522
00:21:07,162 --> 00:21:10,096
- Total... Totally.
- Yeah.
523
00:21:10,199 --> 00:21:11,464
You know, I am pretty impressed
524
00:21:11,567 --> 00:21:14,868
what a four-year
supply of Plan B yields.
525
00:21:14,970 --> 00:21:16,469
- You need it, we have it.
- Incredible.
526
00:21:16,572 --> 00:21:18,104
If I need it, we have it.
527
00:21:18,207 --> 00:21:20,941
And if we ever have any
other female friends,
528
00:21:21,043 --> 00:21:22,814
we will give it to them.
It's available to them.
529
00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:24,215
Yeah.
530
00:21:24,265 --> 00:21:28,815
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