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1
00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:02,968
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:25,389
Hey, I'm home from
the honeymoon,
3
00:00:25,458 --> 00:00:27,893
and I want
some salami.
4
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:29,427
Hi, there,
married girl.
5
00:00:29,462 --> 00:00:30,595
Hello.
6
00:00:30,663 --> 00:00:32,430
Wait a minute.
Where's the salami?
7
00:00:32,498 --> 00:00:34,266
Topanga, I'm home
from the honeymoon.
8
00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:35,933
Where's the honeymoon
welcome salami?
9
00:00:36,001 --> 00:00:37,636
We are moving in here.
10
00:00:37,737 --> 00:00:39,504
He said,
"moving in."
11
00:00:39,572 --> 00:00:41,005
I am equally troubled.
12
00:00:41,974 --> 00:00:43,508
What does he mean
by, "moving in"?
13
00:00:44,209 --> 00:00:45,543
Cory?
14
00:00:45,611 --> 00:00:47,679
I mean, a man moves
into his new house,
15
00:00:47,746 --> 00:00:50,949
he expects to find
a nice deli spread.
16
00:00:51,017 --> 00:00:53,017
Cory, we'll go grocery shopping together.
It'll be fun.
17
00:00:53,085 --> 00:00:55,387
You know what I like to
do at the grocery store?
18
00:00:55,454 --> 00:00:57,923
Ring the butcher bell
and then run away.
19
00:00:58,057 --> 00:00:59,124
(CHUCKLES)
20
00:00:59,892 --> 00:01:01,293
Girls, I'll tell you,
21
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,594
there is nothing funnier
than an angry butcher.
22
00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:08,166
Where's the magazine?
I gotta do my business.
23
00:01:08,233 --> 00:01:09,200
Cory!
24
00:01:09,768 --> 00:01:10,902
Isn't he cute?
25
00:01:10,969 --> 00:01:13,038
He thinks he's living here?
26
00:01:13,105 --> 00:01:15,706
Of course he is. Where else
would he be living, silly?
27
00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:16,908
Oh, Topanga,
28
00:01:16,975 --> 00:01:19,444
you said after you got
married, you'd be moving out.
29
00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:20,578
We will be...
30
00:01:20,646 --> 00:01:21,646
Eventually.
31
00:01:22,481 --> 00:01:24,082
Oh, boy.
32
00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:25,583
Why did she say,
"oh, boy"?
33
00:01:25,651 --> 00:01:26,518
Oh, boy.
34
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,153
Why did she say,
"oh, boy"?
35
00:01:28,220 --> 00:01:29,954
Hey, Angela, I tried
your body wash.
36
00:01:30,022 --> 00:01:31,222
I smell like peaches.
37
00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:33,258
(SNIFFS)
38
00:01:33,325 --> 00:01:34,792
You do.
You really do.
39
00:01:35,461 --> 00:01:37,128
Hey, guys, listen,
40
00:01:37,196 --> 00:01:39,196
Topanga, I packed up all
the stuff from your room,
41
00:01:39,264 --> 00:01:40,432
and I put it
right there.
42
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,301
Why would you do that?
43
00:01:43,369 --> 00:01:45,569
'Cause it was in the way
when I moved into the room.
44
00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:50,575
Why would you
move into the room?
45
00:01:50,643 --> 00:01:53,377
Because I live here now,
and you don't.
46
00:01:54,980 --> 00:01:57,582
Right?
Oh, I get it.
47
00:01:57,650 --> 00:01:59,751
They think we don't
live here anymore.
48
00:01:59,819 --> 00:02:01,319
That's why
there's no salami!
49
00:02:03,489 --> 00:02:05,856
You moved into my room!
50
00:02:05,924 --> 00:02:09,094
All right, Topanga,
calm down. Calm down, okay.
51
00:02:09,161 --> 00:02:11,062
We're gonna find you
a place to live.
52
00:02:12,664 --> 00:02:14,065
You don't live
here either.
53
00:02:17,169 --> 00:02:18,402
Honeymoon's over.
54
00:02:22,541 --> 00:02:24,976
We probably should have gotten
a place before we left.
55
00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:26,711
It's not like we
had a lot of time
56
00:02:26,812 --> 00:02:28,579
I mean, between getting
married, getting arrested,
57
00:02:28,647 --> 00:02:30,415
and then going on
our honeymoon.
58
00:02:30,482 --> 00:02:31,449
You know what? This
will be better anyway.
59
00:02:31,517 --> 00:02:32,784
At least we have your
old dorm room to ourselves.
60
00:02:32,851 --> 00:02:33,918
You're right.
61
00:02:36,021 --> 00:02:37,455
No! All wrong!
62
00:02:37,523 --> 00:02:39,123
What's your problem?
This is my room.
63
00:02:39,191 --> 00:02:40,025
Nope.
No. All wrong, screwy.
64
00:02:40,159 --> 00:02:42,127
Here, show him
how it's gonna be.
65
00:02:42,194 --> 00:02:43,695
Right here. University bylaws
forbid any married couple
66
00:02:43,763 --> 00:02:46,564
from living in a dorm other than the
one designated for married couples.
67
00:02:47,466 --> 00:02:49,100
Maybe we don't have
to tell anybody.
68
00:02:49,167 --> 00:02:50,268
Oh, maybe he's right.
69
00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:51,336
Yeah, maybe we don't
have to tell anybody.
70
00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:52,470
Too late.
We did.
71
00:02:52,538 --> 00:02:54,072
We sent a copy of your
marriage certificate...
72
00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:55,407
...to the office of the
university president.
73
00:02:55,474 --> 00:02:57,008
Now they can't live here anymore.
Show him again.
74
00:02:57,076 --> 00:02:58,342
Right there. Show him again. Put
it up there. See that? See?
75
00:02:58,410 --> 00:03:00,011
How could you
do this to us?
76
00:03:00,078 --> 00:03:02,480
Hi, Jack.
Hi, Professor Matthews.
77
00:03:03,482 --> 00:03:04,682
Hi, new neighbors.
78
00:03:06,852 --> 00:03:09,621
Would you lovely ladies like to take
that tour of the coed bathroom now?
79
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,323
Yeah, I could
use a shower.
80
00:03:11,390 --> 00:03:12,390
Couldn't we all.
81
00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:14,258
Look, dirt!
82
00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:15,860
See, there's
three of them.
83
00:03:15,928 --> 00:03:18,363
It's one, two and three.
84
00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:20,064
You know, frankly,
I love to count them.
85
00:03:20,132 --> 00:03:22,467
So if you'll excuse me.
86
00:03:22,534 --> 00:03:24,168
And you know what? You guys
just can't live here anymore.
87
00:03:24,236 --> 00:03:25,903
So go on, get out!
88
00:03:25,971 --> 00:03:28,172
How could you do such a horrible
thing to your own brother?
89
00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:32,243
Believe me, Topanga,
it was the right move.
90
00:03:32,311 --> 00:03:35,713
Well, we are running out of options
here, my husband and provider.
91
00:03:35,781 --> 00:03:38,516
Oh, now I'm the provider.
92
00:03:38,584 --> 00:03:40,452
Topanga, what happened
to equality?
93
00:03:40,519 --> 00:03:42,220
What happened
to partnership?
94
00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:44,255
Get me a place to live!
95
00:03:44,323 --> 00:03:45,056
Yes, mommy.
96
00:03:45,524 --> 00:03:46,857
Hmm.
97
00:03:46,925 --> 00:03:48,826
Mommy.
98
00:03:48,894 --> 00:03:51,396
No. I wasn't talking to you.
I was talking to my mommy.
99
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:57,068
It would only be until
they got on their feet.
100
00:03:57,136 --> 00:03:58,269
No.
101
00:03:58,336 --> 00:04:00,138
What do you mean, "no"?
Dad, I'm your son.
102
00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:01,940
You don't tell
your son "no."
103
00:04:03,175 --> 00:04:04,175
No!
104
00:04:04,777 --> 00:04:05,676
Alan.
105
00:04:05,811 --> 00:04:07,178
That's it!
We're moving in!
106
00:04:07,245 --> 00:04:09,246
You're lucky I
even asked you!
107
00:04:09,314 --> 00:04:13,151
Cory, don't make me beat you
up in front of your wife.
108
00:04:13,218 --> 00:04:16,420
Why didn't you give any thought
to where you were gonna live?
109
00:04:16,555 --> 00:04:20,091
I was a little busy thinking about
the wedding and the honeymoon.
110
00:04:20,158 --> 00:04:23,360
Besides, it's not like
I've done this before, Mom.
111
00:04:23,428 --> 00:04:25,229
Well, you're gonna
have to do it now.
112
00:04:25,297 --> 00:04:27,265
I never asked to be the
man in this relationship!
113
00:04:29,634 --> 00:04:30,801
Maybe we should go.
114
00:04:30,869 --> 00:04:32,203
Go where?
115
00:04:32,271 --> 00:04:35,073
Where do you go if you
don't have your parents?
116
00:04:35,140 --> 00:04:37,441
At least let them stay
for a couple of days.
117
00:04:37,476 --> 00:04:38,743
Amy, don't...
118
00:04:38,810 --> 00:04:41,379
Don't you put your
finger out at me,
119
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,114
and don't you
tell me "don't"!
120
00:04:45,484 --> 00:04:47,284
Mom's revved up.
Go get the luggage.
121
00:04:48,820 --> 00:04:50,455
These are my children, too.
122
00:04:50,522 --> 00:04:53,291
And if I want them to stay
here, they can stay here.
123
00:04:53,358 --> 00:04:57,295
Amy, they can't stay here.
They're married now.
124
00:04:57,362 --> 00:05:00,632
It's Cory and Topanga,
not Cory and us.
125
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:02,634
Remember?
126
00:05:04,102 --> 00:05:04,936
Mom?
127
00:05:05,904 --> 00:05:08,205
Mom, it's me.
128
00:05:09,107 --> 00:05:10,241
It's Cory.
129
00:05:11,376 --> 00:05:13,411
You used to
wipe my tushy.
130
00:05:13,478 --> 00:05:16,181
Oh, you loved that.
Remember?
131
00:05:18,017 --> 00:05:19,516
Ma?
132
00:05:19,584 --> 00:05:21,152
You can't stay here, Cory.
133
00:05:23,455 --> 00:05:24,455
I'm sorry.
134
00:05:27,993 --> 00:05:29,394
I'm tellin' grandma!
135
00:05:35,801 --> 00:05:36,834
I'm sorry.
136
00:05:38,437 --> 00:05:39,437
I know.
137
00:05:47,212 --> 00:05:50,214
My father's a jerk!
I have a jerk for a father!
138
00:05:50,282 --> 00:05:52,317
I'm sure he has a very
good reason for not...
139
00:05:52,384 --> 00:05:53,685
For abandoning us?
140
00:05:53,752 --> 00:05:55,053
We don't need them.
We don't?
141
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,854
No. We need us.
142
00:05:56,922 --> 00:05:59,724
We need to stand on our own feet
and figure out our situation.
143
00:05:59,791 --> 00:06:01,325
Okay, I've already
figured it out.
144
00:06:01,393 --> 00:06:03,994
We're upper middle class
homeless college students.
145
00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:08,032
There's a very small
pity factor here.
146
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:10,068
I wouldn't feel sorry
for us if it wasn't us!
147
00:06:11,737 --> 00:06:13,304
We should figure out
how much money we have.
148
00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:15,740
Well, if you take what
we got from our wedding
149
00:06:15,808 --> 00:06:17,742
and subtract what we
spent on our honeymoon,
150
00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:19,476
we've got about
seven blenders.
151
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:23,548
It would be nice to have
a kitchen to put them in.
152
00:06:23,615 --> 00:06:25,082
Stop pressuring me!
153
00:06:25,150 --> 00:06:26,817
Cory, we have to
live somewhere!
154
00:06:26,885 --> 00:06:28,086
"Ooh, I want a roof
over my head!"
155
00:06:28,153 --> 00:06:29,553
"I want a roof
over my head!"
156
00:06:30,288 --> 00:06:31,288
Baby!
157
00:06:32,424 --> 00:06:33,458
Hey, guys!
158
00:06:33,525 --> 00:06:35,727
Well, hello,
Shawn and Angela.
159
00:06:35,794 --> 00:06:37,561
Well rested?
160
00:06:37,696 --> 00:06:39,530
Well, we have very
good news for you.
161
00:06:39,598 --> 00:06:42,300
Mike and Debbie
Faferman had a fight.
162
00:06:42,368 --> 00:06:44,035
He criticized her salad,
so she shot him.
163
00:06:45,203 --> 00:06:47,071
Why is this good news?
164
00:06:47,139 --> 00:06:49,107
Because she's
gonna do time,
165
00:06:49,174 --> 00:06:51,809
and the dorm's
gonna be available.
166
00:06:51,877 --> 00:06:53,777
And those married dorms
have gotta be great.
167
00:06:53,846 --> 00:06:57,381
You know how married people
live, sophisticated, very posh.
168
00:06:57,449 --> 00:07:00,151
Ah, you hear that,
Topanga? Posh.
169
00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:06,190
WOMAN: I got a midterm In physiology
tomorrow! Make your own dinner!
170
00:07:06,258 --> 00:07:09,226
MAN: I'll make you a deal, I'll
cook dinner, you stop talking!
171
00:07:09,294 --> 00:07:10,361
(BABY CRYING)
172
00:07:10,429 --> 00:07:12,997
Please, stop crying.
Please, stop crying!
173
00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:16,734
(HAIR DRYER BLOWING LOUDLY)
174
00:07:16,802 --> 00:07:19,069
MAN: Shut the door if
you're gonna do that!
175
00:07:19,137 --> 00:07:20,571
(DOOR SLAMS)
176
00:07:20,639 --> 00:07:22,573
That's it, break it!
177
00:07:22,641 --> 00:07:24,909
It sounds like we have
very colorful neighbors.
178
00:07:24,977 --> 00:07:26,076
Oh, look,
179
00:07:26,144 --> 00:07:27,912
a cute little boy.
180
00:07:27,979 --> 00:07:29,847
Hey, there,
little fella.
181
00:07:29,915 --> 00:07:31,549
I see dead people.
182
00:07:32,517 --> 00:07:33,451
That's nice.
183
00:07:33,518 --> 00:07:34,518
Let's get outta here!
184
00:07:34,587 --> 00:07:36,520
No, this is us. 236.
185
00:07:36,589 --> 00:07:38,723
This is gonna be our home
for the next three years.
186
00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:52,003
It's nice.
187
00:08:01,279 --> 00:08:04,649
Okay, so it needs
a little work.
188
00:08:04,716 --> 00:08:06,684
You know what I think
we should do here?
189
00:08:06,751 --> 00:08:09,587
I think we should think about
the worst moment in our lives,
190
00:08:09,654 --> 00:08:12,123
and it'll only make us
feel better about this one.
191
00:08:20,065 --> 00:08:22,266
It's this, isn't it?
Yeah, it is.
192
00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:24,268
But things are never
as bad as they seem, Cory.
193
00:08:24,336 --> 00:08:27,938
You're right, Topanga. Everything's
terrific. It's just fabulous.
194
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,508
CORY: I hate my parents,
and we live in a crack house!
195
00:08:33,578 --> 00:08:35,413
But why don't we find
the good, Topanga?
196
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,482
Let's find the good 'cause
I don't know where it is.
197
00:08:38,550 --> 00:08:40,384
Is it underneath
that pizza box?
198
00:08:40,452 --> 00:08:42,953
I don't know.
It could be.
199
00:08:43,021 --> 00:08:44,789
No, that's where
the vermin is hiding.
200
00:08:46,124 --> 00:08:47,224
Cory, you're such a baby. No.
201
00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:48,293
(STOMPS)
202
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,694
Nope, it's
still alive.
203
00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:51,396
(STOMPS) No, it's still alive,
204
00:08:51,463 --> 00:08:53,698
and here come his drunken
cousins from Louisiana.
205
00:08:53,766 --> 00:08:54,799
Get 'em!
206
00:08:54,866 --> 00:08:57,402
No, now they're up,
and they're angry.
207
00:08:58,036 --> 00:08:59,470
Get 'em,
Topanga!
208
00:08:59,538 --> 00:09:00,605
Step harder,
on that one.
209
00:09:00,673 --> 00:09:01,739
Ow!
210
00:09:07,078 --> 00:09:08,479
Hi.
Hi. We were, uh...
211
00:09:08,547 --> 00:09:10,581
Doing the dance
of our people.
212
00:09:10,649 --> 00:09:12,883
Hi, I'm Kelly Aragon,
213
00:09:12,951 --> 00:09:16,487
and this is Samantha,
who doesn't sleep, ever.
214
00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:18,989
We're your neighbors.
Welcome to the dorm.
215
00:09:19,057 --> 00:09:20,357
Nice to meet you,
Kelly.
216
00:09:20,425 --> 00:09:22,393
She is so cute.
Can I hold her?
217
00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:23,327
Yeah.
218
00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:28,432
Ohh!
219
00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:29,833
No.
220
00:09:30,569 --> 00:09:33,170
Put it back.
221
00:09:33,238 --> 00:09:37,474
Well, she'd be a lot cuter if she
would just sleep for, like, a minute.
222
00:09:37,542 --> 00:09:39,977
I mean, other babies
sleep, right?
223
00:09:40,045 --> 00:09:42,713
Oh, I don't think I can
stay awake much longer.
224
00:09:42,781 --> 00:09:45,282
Uh, just out of
curiosity, Kelly,
225
00:09:45,350 --> 00:09:47,551
the bed where your baby
doesn't sleep all night,
226
00:09:47,619 --> 00:09:51,589
that's not located behind these
paper-thin walls, is it?
227
00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:54,225
Because the only crying
I want to hear is my own.
228
00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:55,860
Cory!
229
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,895
It's all right.
At least he's here.
230
00:09:57,963 --> 00:10:00,832
My husband's a med student,
and they never come home.
231
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,068
You two are newlyweds,
aren't you?
232
00:10:04,136 --> 00:10:05,402
Yeah, we are.
233
00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:06,537
Good luck.
234
00:10:06,605 --> 00:10:08,072
Thanks.
Thanks.
235
00:10:11,175 --> 00:10:15,713
Okay, let's just look at this
as a true test of character.
236
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:17,214
Now, we can either
run from this,
237
00:10:17,282 --> 00:10:18,816
or we can be
stronger than this.
238
00:10:21,753 --> 00:10:22,887
Good luck.
239
00:10:25,891 --> 00:10:28,726
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY )
I wasn't really gonna run.
240
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:30,128
I, uh...
241
00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:35,432
This is for you.
242
00:10:38,537 --> 00:10:42,907
And as the black plague worked
its way through Europe,
243
00:10:42,974 --> 00:10:47,411
the streets were littered with
maggot-infested, rotting corpses
244
00:10:47,479 --> 00:10:49,313
of the dying and the dead.
245
00:10:53,685 --> 00:10:55,018
He's talking about us.
246
00:10:57,789 --> 00:10:59,557
Uh, yes, Mrs. Matthews.
247
00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:01,058
Could I have a bath?
248
00:11:03,027 --> 00:11:06,163
Please reserve your personal
matters for after class.
249
00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:09,033
But our water's brown.
250
00:11:09,101 --> 00:11:10,268
Mrs. Matthews...
251
00:11:10,335 --> 00:11:11,635
And you have
to chew it.
252
00:11:13,872 --> 00:11:17,508
You know, I rarely do this, but I'm going
to dismiss the class on account of,
253
00:11:17,576 --> 00:11:19,410
well, pathetic.
254
00:11:24,449 --> 00:11:27,952
You know, you got a big house,
Feeny, and no children.
255
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:30,321
Mrs. Matthews...
256
00:11:30,389 --> 00:11:31,321
(IN GRAVELLY VOICE) What do
you do in that house, Feeny?
257
00:11:32,491 --> 00:11:34,324
Do you eat?
258
00:11:34,392 --> 00:11:37,695
What's the matter with you two,
and why are you so unkempt?
259
00:11:37,762 --> 00:11:39,397
Oh, ho ho ho!
We're "unkempt"!
260
00:11:40,065 --> 00:11:41,532
You hear that, Topanga?
261
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,367
Well, you'd be unkempt,
too, if you lived
262
00:11:43,435 --> 00:11:46,971
in an apartment with only one
washing machine and no dryer!
263
00:11:47,038 --> 00:11:48,839
And you know how
the baby cries?
264
00:11:48,907 --> 00:11:51,342
Like this, waaah!
265
00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:53,311
Waaah! Waaah!
266
00:11:53,378 --> 00:11:54,945
All night!
267
00:11:55,013 --> 00:11:56,347
Mr. Matthews...
Waah!
268
00:11:58,083 --> 00:12:00,751
All right, I get it!
It's unpleasant!
269
00:12:00,818 --> 00:12:04,054
Quit stalling, Feeny. We
staying with you or not?
270
00:12:04,122 --> 00:12:05,256
Not.
271
00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:08,125
Oh, Cory, Topanga...
272
00:12:08,192 --> 00:12:09,860
From the bottom
of my heart,
273
00:12:10,028 --> 00:12:12,096
I'd do anything
for you two
274
00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:15,966
if it's anything short of actually
moving in. Anything at all.
275
00:12:16,034 --> 00:12:18,135
How about some of
your millions, fella?
276
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:20,905
Mrs. Matthews...
277
00:12:20,972 --> 00:12:22,206
Hold him!
I'll get his wallet.
278
00:12:22,274 --> 00:12:23,340
No!
279
00:12:23,408 --> 00:12:26,443
That would be wrong.
This man is an educator.
280
00:12:26,511 --> 00:12:31,181
Oh, you're right. What could
he have, like, nine bucks?
281
00:12:31,249 --> 00:12:32,716
And a Blockbuster card.
282
00:12:34,286 --> 00:12:36,320
My dear ruffians...
283
00:12:36,388 --> 00:12:38,188
Let me tell you
something about life.
284
00:12:38,256 --> 00:12:40,358
No, please!
No more words!
285
00:12:40,425 --> 00:12:43,727
You have been telling me about
life since the first grade, Feeny.
286
00:12:43,795 --> 00:12:46,531
How come you never
prepared us for this?
287
00:12:46,598 --> 00:12:51,401
Although you can't see it now,
your reward is yet to come.
288
00:12:51,469 --> 00:12:53,204
What are you,
a fortune cookie?
289
00:12:54,706 --> 00:12:56,174
Who has cookies?
290
00:12:58,176 --> 00:12:59,943
He's a fortune cookie,
Topanga.
291
00:13:00,011 --> 00:13:02,179
I resent that!
292
00:13:02,247 --> 00:13:05,482
My words are heartfelt
and highly original.
293
00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:08,719
To be reduced to
a whimsical jocularity
294
00:13:08,787 --> 00:13:14,024
that's stuffed into a cracker is an affront
to the very essence of my character.
295
00:13:14,092 --> 00:13:17,261
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
296
00:13:17,328 --> 00:13:19,931
Well put, honey.
Well put.
297
00:13:19,998 --> 00:13:22,633
Give us something we
can use, why don't ya?
298
00:13:25,103 --> 00:13:28,805
Persevere, and prosperity
shall be yours.
299
00:13:35,914 --> 00:13:37,648
All right,
I'm a fortune cookie.
300
00:13:39,951 --> 00:13:42,019
Remember last time?
Spanked you like a baby.
301
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:44,121
Guys?
Hi!
302
00:13:44,189 --> 00:13:45,956
You know, I haven't
seen you in days.
303
00:13:46,024 --> 00:13:48,492
Yeah. So, how's life
been treating you?
304
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,460
How's life been
treating us?
305
00:13:50,462 --> 00:13:51,828
She wants to know how life
has been treating us, buddy.
306
00:13:51,896 --> 00:13:54,932
Life, which has up until
now treated us terribly,
307
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,600
has decided
to pay us back.
308
00:13:58,036 --> 00:13:59,470
In triplicate.
309
00:13:59,538 --> 00:14:01,439
Come here, Rachel. I want
you to meet somebody.
310
00:14:01,506 --> 00:14:04,041
These are
the Dahm triplets.
311
00:14:04,108 --> 00:14:06,844
And they're the best Dahm
triplets I've ever seen!
312
00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:09,013
They're our neighbors,
all three of 'em.
313
00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:10,214
We helped them
move in.
314
00:14:11,383 --> 00:14:13,751
Yes, all three of 'em.
315
00:14:13,818 --> 00:14:16,186
Here, look, see.
It's one, two, three.
316
00:14:16,254 --> 00:14:18,388
I love to count them.
It's just...
317
00:14:19,924 --> 00:14:21,225
Hi.
318
00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:22,092
Hi.
Hi.
319
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:23,361
Hi.
Hi!
320
00:14:23,428 --> 00:14:24,962
Aren't they
the greatest girls?
321
00:14:25,029 --> 00:14:27,531
Again, cause there's three.
There's one, two, three,
322
00:14:27,598 --> 00:14:29,499
and there's one of you
and three of them.
323
00:14:29,567 --> 00:14:32,036
'Cause when it's just one
but three and one,
324
00:14:32,103 --> 00:14:34,405
'cause you lose.
325
00:14:34,472 --> 00:14:39,443
Well, there's three of them, and there's
two of you, so what's up with that?
326
00:14:39,511 --> 00:14:41,879
They promised they'd
find us a third guy.
327
00:14:41,946 --> 00:14:43,447
So we can all go out together.
328
00:14:43,515 --> 00:14:45,182
We always do
everything together.
329
00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:47,685
Everything!
Everything!
330
00:14:47,753 --> 00:14:50,554
You've been so nice in helping
us find our dorm room.
331
00:14:50,621 --> 00:14:51,621
We owe you.
332
00:14:51,689 --> 00:14:52,790
They owe us.
333
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:54,191
A party.
They owe us a party.
334
00:14:54,259 --> 00:14:56,894
So, did you find
another guy?
335
00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:59,096
Ooh...
Hmm, hmm.
336
00:14:59,164 --> 00:15:01,231
Third guy.
Party.
337
00:15:01,299 --> 00:15:02,733
I choose you!
338
00:15:02,867 --> 00:15:04,335
Do you want to go out with one
of these beautiful women?
339
00:15:04,402 --> 00:15:05,736
Can my brothers go with me?
340
00:15:08,706 --> 00:15:09,473
Oh, no!
341
00:15:09,541 --> 00:15:10,541
Hi.
Hi.
342
00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:11,609
No!
No!
343
00:15:11,676 --> 00:15:12,710
Hi.
Hi.
344
00:15:12,777 --> 00:15:13,777
No!
No!
345
00:15:16,281 --> 00:15:17,848
Well, now, where
are they going?
346
00:15:17,915 --> 00:15:19,950
They're going
to the party!
347
00:15:21,753 --> 00:15:23,287
We're not invited
anymore?
348
00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:24,421
Neh!
349
00:15:26,124 --> 00:15:28,426
Rachel.
350
00:15:28,493 --> 00:15:31,261
We appear to have a gaping
hole in our social calendar.
351
00:15:31,329 --> 00:15:33,597
Yeah, if you're not doing
anything later, maybe we could...
352
00:15:33,665 --> 00:15:36,634
I wasn't, but now I think
I'm just gonna go home and
353
00:15:36,701 --> 00:15:38,903
laugh and laugh
and laugh.
354
00:15:39,838 --> 00:15:41,138
Three times!
355
00:15:41,205 --> 00:15:42,773
Three, get it?
356
00:15:42,841 --> 00:15:43,874
No.
357
00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:47,945
(SIGHS)
358
00:15:51,182 --> 00:15:52,917
So, you wanna go volunteer
to be experimented on?
359
00:15:52,984 --> 00:15:54,017
Sure.
360
00:15:57,088 --> 00:15:59,256
So, how are
the married dorms?
361
00:15:59,324 --> 00:16:01,291
Pretty sweet setup,
I'm guessing.
362
00:16:01,359 --> 00:16:02,893
We have bugs.
363
00:16:02,961 --> 00:16:04,461
Everybody's got bugs.
364
00:16:04,529 --> 00:16:05,596
Our bugs have cars.
365
00:16:08,099 --> 00:16:09,700
Your worst problem
should be bugs.
366
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:11,034
True, you're right.
367
00:16:12,069 --> 00:16:13,136
But it's not.
368
00:16:13,972 --> 00:16:15,606
What, there's more?
369
00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:18,175
Just please change the subject,
and don't change it to plumbing,
370
00:16:18,242 --> 00:16:20,144
don't change it
to crying babies,
371
00:16:20,211 --> 00:16:23,681
and don't mention the fact that there was
a guy shot in our apartment over a salad,
372
00:16:23,748 --> 00:16:26,283
the remains of which
are still on the wall.
373
00:16:27,218 --> 00:16:29,453
The guy or the salad?
374
00:16:29,521 --> 00:16:31,455
I don't really want to know.
375
00:16:31,522 --> 00:16:32,689
I ate it anyway.
376
00:16:35,493 --> 00:16:38,529
Okay, let's talk
about the married thing.
377
00:16:39,197 --> 00:16:40,197
What about it?
378
00:16:40,265 --> 00:16:42,199
What's the biggest
difference?
379
00:16:42,266 --> 00:16:44,301
What, between being
boyfriend and girlfriend?
380
00:16:44,369 --> 00:16:45,335
Yeah.
381
00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:49,440
Well, you know,
we're together.
382
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,809
We're together in everything.
We're there for each other.
383
00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:54,779
And even though everything
we're going through right now
384
00:16:54,846 --> 00:16:58,048
may not be ideal,
we're gettin' through it.
385
00:16:58,116 --> 00:17:00,017
I think we're
handling it well.
386
00:17:01,686 --> 00:17:04,387
Topanga, are you crying?
387
00:17:04,455 --> 00:17:06,723
(VOICE BREAKING)
Why would you say that?
388
00:17:06,791 --> 00:17:08,058
Because tears are coming
out of your eyes,
389
00:17:08,126 --> 00:17:10,161
and your face
is all scrunched up.
390
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:12,863
This is crying?
391
00:17:12,931 --> 00:17:14,164
Yeah.
392
00:17:14,232 --> 00:17:15,900
Then I've been crying
for three days.
393
00:17:19,637 --> 00:17:21,072
Guys, what's the matter?
394
00:17:21,139 --> 00:17:23,007
It's nothing.
I'll be okay.
395
00:17:24,976 --> 00:17:26,710
I'm sorry.
I'll be fine.
396
00:17:33,752 --> 00:17:34,718
You wanna talk about it?
397
00:17:34,785 --> 00:17:35,785
Talk about what?
398
00:17:37,088 --> 00:17:39,656
Talk about how I've
been married for one week,
399
00:17:39,724 --> 00:17:42,359
and I already
can't protect my wife?
400
00:17:42,427 --> 00:17:46,096
Talk about how I believed love
would get us through anything?
401
00:17:46,163 --> 00:17:49,433
Talk about what an
unprepared idiot I am?
402
00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,168
You're not an idiot.
It's just new.
403
00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:52,903
Topanga's crying, Shawn.
404
00:17:52,971 --> 00:17:53,903
Cory, how can I help?
405
00:17:53,971 --> 00:17:55,539
And new is very scary.
406
00:17:55,606 --> 00:17:56,873
I wanna help.
407
00:17:56,941 --> 00:17:58,809
Thanks, but...
408
00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:00,410
I don't think
you can on this one.
409
00:18:00,512 --> 00:18:02,212
Of course I can.
I'm your friend.
410
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:03,747
Yeah, but I'm her husband.
411
00:18:04,916 --> 00:18:05,949
I have to take
care of this.
412
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,320
I have to.
413
00:18:11,756 --> 00:18:13,057
Cory,
414
00:18:13,124 --> 00:18:15,592
I told you I can't
help you with this.
415
00:18:15,660 --> 00:18:18,495
Dad, I'm not asking you
to help me, okay?
416
00:18:18,563 --> 00:18:20,731
This isn't about me.
This is about Topanga.
417
00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:23,834
The minute I married her, she
became more important than me.
418
00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:26,270
She became more important
than anything.
419
00:18:26,337 --> 00:18:28,105
I'm glad you realize that.
420
00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:30,507
I know that mom is more important
to you than anything, right?
421
00:18:30,575 --> 00:18:31,675
Right, she is.
422
00:18:31,743 --> 00:18:33,710
And you are as well,
and so is Topanga.
423
00:18:33,778 --> 00:18:35,378
Okay, good.
424
00:18:35,446 --> 00:18:38,115
I'm glad you feel that way
because the last talk we had,
425
00:18:38,183 --> 00:18:39,950
I didn't get
that from you,
426
00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:43,053
and I can't tell you how much I
appreciate your coming around.
427
00:18:44,322 --> 00:18:47,558
Cory, I'm not coming around.
428
00:18:47,625 --> 00:18:51,561
I can't help you the way you want
me to, and I'm not going to!
429
00:18:52,096 --> 00:18:53,497
Hey! We're drowning here!
430
00:18:53,565 --> 00:18:55,031
You are not drowning.
431
00:18:55,099 --> 00:18:58,035
Well, what do you call living
in an awful dorm with no money,
432
00:18:58,102 --> 00:19:00,203
and the washing machine's
broken in the laundry room,
433
00:19:00,271 --> 00:19:03,273
and there's some kind of soup
coming out of the faucet!
434
00:19:03,341 --> 00:19:05,008
Marriage, I call it.
Marriage.
435
00:19:05,076 --> 00:19:08,478
Okay, well, it's hard!
It's just hard, dad.
436
00:19:08,546 --> 00:19:10,147
And you want me to
make it not so hard.
437
00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:11,415
You're supposed
to do that!
438
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:12,516
I can't!
439
00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:13,583
Well, then what
good are you?
440
00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:16,086
Hey!
441
00:19:17,188 --> 00:19:19,322
You made a choice!
442
00:19:19,390 --> 00:19:22,059
You decided that you were
old enough to get married.
443
00:19:22,127 --> 00:19:25,395
You decided to take on the
responsibility of a new life
444
00:19:25,463 --> 00:19:28,265
because you believed
you could handle it!
445
00:19:29,734 --> 00:19:31,602
And this family
supported that decision
446
00:19:31,669 --> 00:19:34,304
after we told you that it was
going to be very difficult.
447
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:40,444
What, did you think
we were kidding?
448
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:44,080
Did you go into this marriage thinking
you were just going to play house,
449
00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:46,116
and we were gonna
bail you out of trouble?
450
00:19:48,052 --> 00:19:49,052
Cory...
451
00:19:50,555 --> 00:19:51,688
This is your life.
452
00:19:52,990 --> 00:19:54,991
Deal with your life.
453
00:20:04,569 --> 00:20:05,802
All you had to
say was "no."
454
00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:16,247
(SIGHS)
455
00:20:27,958 --> 00:20:30,361
Cory, where were you?
I was worried sick.
456
00:20:31,963 --> 00:20:34,197
Uh, Topanga...
457
00:20:34,265 --> 00:20:36,867
I think it's just
gonna be you and me.
458
00:20:39,804 --> 00:20:41,605
I made us a tuna-fish sandwich.
459
00:20:50,448 --> 00:20:51,615
I love you.
460
00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:53,850
I know.
461
00:20:55,386 --> 00:20:56,453
I know you do.
462
00:21:06,063 --> 00:21:07,997
Oh, look,
a cute little boy.
463
00:21:08,966 --> 00:21:10,267
Hey, there, little fella.
464
00:21:10,334 --> 00:21:12,269
I see dead people.
465
00:21:15,172 --> 00:21:16,540
(LAUGHING)
466
00:21:17,375 --> 00:21:19,609
I see dead people.
467
00:21:20,111 --> 00:21:21,578
(LAUGHS)
468
00:21:21,646 --> 00:21:22,646
...dead people.
469
00:21:22,713 --> 00:21:24,213
That's nice.
470
00:21:24,281 --> 00:21:25,615
(LAUGHS)
I said it!
471
00:21:25,683 --> 00:21:26,549
(LAUGHING)
472
00:21:26,599 --> 00:21:31,149
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