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1
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,279
Cory? Cory!
2
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,372
Eight seconds, Mom.
3
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:17,213
Open the door.
My bags are tearing here.
4
00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:19,378
All right,
four seconds.
5
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,615
Gee, thanks for your help.
6
00:00:24,124 --> 00:00:25,456
What are you doing?
7
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:28,519
I'm nuking my socks.
8
00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:31,759
It's this new idea I have, 'cause I like
putting on warm clothes.
9
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,562
I was gonna start with my underwear,
10
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:36,103
but I was a little nervous.
11
00:00:36,169 --> 00:00:37,967
Could you, uh, help me
out here, please?
12
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,973
Yeah, sure.
13
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:43,272
All right. I got the celery.
I got the peanut butter.
14
00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:46,074
- What are you doing?
- I'm dipping.
15
00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:49,048
No, you don't do that.
That's a new jar.
16
00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:51,585
Oh, well, the old jar
had celery in it.
17
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:54,053
You were such an adorable child.
I have pictures.
18
00:00:54,121 --> 00:00:55,851
How did you get like this?
19
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:57,915
Get like what?
20
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,256
What?
21
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:07,132
So, my Mom says,
"Why don't you try being polite
22
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:09,567
for just one day, and see if people
don't notice?"
23
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:12,834
Hey, for what it's worth, Cor,
I think you're polite.
24
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:17,002
Then again, polite in my family means
wearing a tie for your arraignment.
25
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,103
I appreciate your quick response
26
00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,614
with the fire extinguisher,
Mr. Mendoza,
27
00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:24,550
but in the future, please, wait for a fire.
28
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,420
Oh, bless you, Mr. Feeny.
29
00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:31,651
Oh, thank you. Mr. Matthews,
30
00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:34,217
that's surprisingly considerate.
31
00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,525
Good. Tell my mother.
32
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:43,437
Oh, now watch
as I shift into turbo polite.
33
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:48,776
- Eric, allow me.
- OK.
34
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,939
Is there anything else
I can do for you?
35
00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:54,106
No, I'll take it from here. Thanks.
36
00:01:54,181 --> 00:01:56,548
All right.
Tell Mom I offered.
37
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:59,781
- Aah!
- Hey!
38
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:02,948
Oh, sorry. You OK?
39
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:05,759
I don't know.
40
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,791
Whoa, twice in a row!
41
00:02:11,264 --> 00:02:14,496
- You're a very polite fella.
- Thank you.
42
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:17,197
And your smile, it's kinda engaging.
43
00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:20,729
Yeah, I use the toothpaste with swirls.
44
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:24,266
Humorous, too.
You got posibilities.
45
00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:27,109
Turn around.
Let me look at you.
46
00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:29,877
Well, I don't usually
go for Velcro-heads,
47
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:32,419
but on you, I don't know.
It's workin' for me.
48
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:36,787
- You got a name?
- Uh, Cory.
49
00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:40,419
I'm Theresa.
My friends call me T.K.
50
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,225
Oh, nice to... Oh, gosh,
I knew this was going too well.
51
00:02:43,296 --> 00:02:45,527
Chill. It's a pen!
52
00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:51,163
Keep in touch.
53
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:57,274
- All right, Cor!
- That girl...
54
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,779
...she wrote seven
numbers on my hand.
55
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:04,147
- What could that possibly mean?
- It means call her.
56
00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:07,221
Shawn, how can I call her when
I don't even have her...
57
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:10,186
Oh!
58
00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:14,424
You know, last night,
T.K. and I talked on the phone
59
00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:16,588
for, like, two hours!
60
00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:19,690
It beats my previous time
with a girl by, like...
61
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:21,894
...two hours!
62
00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:24,528
She even asked me out to
the movies this Friday night.
63
00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:26,300
She asked you out?
64
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,275
Yep. And I just
might let her take me.
65
00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:31,038
All right, homeroom, announcements.
66
00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:35,845
Uh, stay awake.
"Item one: Chess squad.
67
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:39,114
All students interested in trying out
for the fast-paced world of..."
68
00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:44,056
Yeah. Um, let's see,
jumping to relevant stuff...
69
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:46,753
"Item 11: Due to a freezer mishap,
70
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:51,128
fish kebabs will not be served in
the cafeteria today as scheduled."
71
00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:54,327
Thank you, thank you.
72
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,427
I don't want to know.
Uh, "Item 15..."
73
00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:58,734
- Hey.
- Hey back.
74
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:01,969
Ah, there he is.
There's my guy.
75
00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,906
It's funny, I got this thing here
called homeroom...
76
00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:08,915
Yeah, this note covers it.
77
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,883
T.K., what are you
doing in my homeroom?
78
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:13,011
Our homeroom now, sweetie.
79
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,521
OK, Theresa, welcome aboard.
Pick yourself a desk.
80
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:18,582
Mr. Turner, is it OK
to sit two to a desk?
81
00:04:18,658 --> 00:04:20,957
I'm thinking, no.
82
00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:22,290
For a five-spot?
83
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:37,077
Welcome home, Cory.
Your wreath is here.
84
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:39,806
Wow, look at that.
85
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:43,647
Yes. That alone would have been
excessive but wait, there's more!
86
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:47,119
Your very own life-sized candy clown!
87
00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:49,418
Whoa. Can I play with him?
88
00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:51,219
Sure, and then you can eat him!
89
00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:54,757
Why can't life always be like this?
90
00:04:56,396 --> 00:05:00,060
- And now it's time to tell your parents...
- ...who's T.K.?
91
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,500
She's this girl who kind of likes me.
92
00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:06,062
- No kidding.
- And I have you to thank, Mom.
93
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,506
Wait, how are you
pawning this off on me?
94
00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:10,840
Well, you told me to be polite
and considerate of others.
95
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:13,073
So yesterday,
a girl dropped her book,
96
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,139
I picked it up, and boom,
I'm in a relationship.
97
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:22,048
I'm in one, too...
98
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:24,284
...with this guy.
99
00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:27,555
- Tony, you're back.
- More stuff for the kid, Alan.
100
00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:30,096
Sign here, right under your
other three signatures.
101
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,793
Believe me, I know the routine.
"With love, T.K."
102
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:36,666
Cory, what's with this girl?
103
00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:39,865
She's very sentimental.
You know, flowers, candy...
104
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,806
Sirloin steaks?
105
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:47,670
Nothing says "I love you"
like a beautiful piece of meat.
106
00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:49,682
Tony, please!
107
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:52,014
Cory, this girl's trying
to buy your affections.
108
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,953
- So let her.
- Do you mind?
109
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:59,117
Alan, you should know me well enough
to know when I'm kidding.
110
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,787
Cory, I think this girl's
comin' on a little too strong,
111
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:06,061
a little too fast, and...
Man, these'll barbeque great!
112
00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:08,795
- Alan!
- What do you mean, too fast?
113
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:11,805
Cory, I think this is something we
need to sit down and discuss.
114
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:14,103
She's right.
Listen to your mother.
115
00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:16,234
I'll go fix us a nice piece of steak.
116
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:18,505
I'll find the way.
117
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:23,183
They sent a wreath?
118
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:26,516
I specifically told them roses.
119
00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,885
Time's up.
He'll call you back.
120
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:30,890
Look, T.K., it's really all right.
121
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:33,358
I mean, I got the steaks
and the candy clown.
122
00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:36,396
The fuzzy yarn head
made me think of you.
123
00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:39,592
You know, you really don't have to
keep sending me these things.
124
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:42,033
'Course I do.
You're my guy.
125
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:44,799
Makes me feel... ladylike.
126
00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:47,602
Put Tony on!
Tony, wreaths ain't roses.
127
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:50,906
Do I gotta come down there myself
and straighten you out?
128
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:53,412
What are you...
129
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:57,576
- Oh, it's you.
- It's always me.
130
00:06:57,651 --> 00:07:01,383
Listen, I'm so...
I'm so very, very sorry.
131
00:07:01,454 --> 00:07:03,821
You like that, Frankie?
I bump into this guy,
132
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:07,258
and he apologizes.
That's polite. Isn't that polite?
133
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:09,626
Wait a minute.
You're saying you bumped into me?
134
00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:11,961
That's how I saw it.
His fault entirely.
135
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,866
I only hope that you can find it
in your heart to forgive me.
136
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,905
Yeah, but what about your shirt?
137
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:20,463
Oh, that's no big deal.
There's plenty more like it.
138
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:24,272
Hey, you, shirt...
Come on. Come on.
139
00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:29,306
Hey!
140
00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:34,251
Some things I deliver myself.
I'll get my coat.
141
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:36,881
You'll walk me home.
142
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:43,061
Hey, Cory.
How you doin', man?
143
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:46,861
- Cory?
- That's you name, ain't it?
144
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:49,129
Yeah, but usually as you're shoving
me out of the way
145
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,898
you call me "baboon."
146
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:54,373
That was then.
This is...
147
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:56,410
...not then.
148
00:07:56,476 --> 00:08:00,038
Have a nice day... Cory.
149
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:02,912
You, too... Harley.
150
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:10,646
Man, this politeness thing's
really catching on.
151
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:15,162
Ah, Mr. Matthews, just
the man I wanted to see.
152
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:19,324
Perhaps you could tell me
the meaning of this masterpiece?
153
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:22,426
"T.K. loves C.M."
154
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,836
Now, what could that
possibly stand for?
155
00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:30,741
Well, I think someone named T.K.
apparently loves, um...
156
00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:32,972
...corn muffins?
157
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:35,811
Would you like to take another shot
at that, Mr. Matthews?
158
00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:39,580
No, sir. That was the best I could do.
See you in detention?
159
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:42,315
Yes, seems unavoidable.
160
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:47,717
- Very subtle.
- Shawn, she's obsessive.
161
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:50,354
She's crazy!
What's gonna happen to me?
162
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:53,127
Just relax, Cor.
Tell her to slow down.
163
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,134
Your date with her
tonight... cancel it.
164
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:58,069
So, you like my artwork, fuzzy?
165
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,334
I'm having a matching one
tattooed right over my heart...
166
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:03,104
Uh, no, no.
Please.
167
00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:05,702
- Look, about our date tonight...
- Oh, it's all set.
168
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:08,180
I got the movie tickets,
made the dinner reservations...
169
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:11,548
It's under the name "fuzzy."
170
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:15,680
- Um, tonight's not good.
- OK. Tomorrow night.
171
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:18,281
Look. Theresa,
172
00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:21,021
I think you're a really,
really nice person...
173
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,859
You're gonna bail on me?
174
00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,922
No. I just need some time.
175
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:29,231
Oh, I understand.
176
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:32,466
I understand that no matter how much
you give to some people,
177
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:34,872
they're still gonna turn around
and stab you in the back.
178
00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:36,739
You know, I thought
you were different,
179
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:40,008
but you're just like every
other guy I've ever met.
180
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,572
I'll see ya.
181
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:51,319
Shawn, she was really upset.
Maybe I should go apologize.
182
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:54,555
No, no. This politeness thing
is pulling you down, man.
183
00:09:54,627 --> 00:09:56,960
Till the whole thing
blows over, go rude.
184
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,233
Listen, I'm-I'm sorry.
185
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:03,532
I was teachin' while you were talkin'.
186
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:07,199
- My mistake.
- No problem.
187
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,299
Guys, while you're here in my class,
188
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:13,369
whatever personal stuff you
got goin' on, check it at the door.
189
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:16,575
Hey, yo, you, Mr. Turner?
Yeah, Janitor Bud wants to see you
190
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:19,448
down in the parkin' lot. Somethin' about
his truck runnin' over your motorcycle.
191
00:10:19,519 --> 00:10:21,579
My bike? Oh!
192
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:26,553
Read poems.
193
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,561
OK, everybody out in the hall.
194
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,792
Let's go. Move it along.
No talking. Single file.
195
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:38,737
Everybody but you, baboon.
196
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,798
Frankie, you and Joey
watch the door.
197
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:45,676
- What's going on?
- I am extremely distraught.
198
00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:48,738
Do you happen to know why?
199
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:53,253
Yes. Someone has stolen
the sweet, angelic smile
200
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,653
from the face of my sister...
Theresa.
201
00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:58,692
Your sister?
202
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:01,557
- You mean, T.K.'s...
- Theresa Keiner.
203
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:03,995
And nobody breaks the heart
204
00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:06,862
of Harley Keiner's sweet baby sister.
205
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:15,307
Look, Harley, I swear, I had
no idea she was your sister.
206
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,367
You do realize you'd be dead already,
207
00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:19,844
except that Theresa
says you're a gentleman.
208
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:22,542
Lucky for you and your kneecaps,
209
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:25,779
I deem this a very rare
and desirable quality.
210
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,048
Therefore, I am willing to let you
take Theresa
211
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:29,953
to the movies tonight as planned.
212
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,652
You know, we really
don't have to go out.
213
00:11:32,725 --> 00:11:35,422
No, you really do.
214
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,760
OK.
215
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:40,459
This will be a nice date, a polite date.
216
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,468
You will be a perfect gentleman,
217
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:46,097
'cause otherwise, baboon,
your next and final date...
218
00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:48,266
...is with Frankie.
219
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:52,977
And don't expect flowers.
220
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,185
All right, I think this'll work.
221
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:02,711
Black shoes, white socks,
bow tie... should do it.
222
00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:05,657
Eric, how do I look?
223
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,186
Like a ventriloquist's dummy.
224
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:11,731
Perfect!
225
00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:13,460
You know, I thought you
had a date, but apparently,
226
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:16,469
you're going to Sears to
take pictures for Grandma.
227
00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:18,505
This is for my date.
228
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,904
We want to make sure he's totally
unappealing to this girl.
229
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:23,705
That's good. Play your strengths.
230
00:12:23,776 --> 00:12:26,644
Oh, gosh, she's here.
Shawn, stay with me.
231
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:28,909
Come on, what the worst
thing that could happen?
232
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:35,949
It is time.
233
00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:38,150
I got a date with Frankie!
234
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,685
Miss Keiner's waiting in
the car to go to the movies.
235
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:46,392
Oh, that's better. No, it's not. Shawn,
she's gonna see through this outfit.
236
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:49,994
I'm goin' out in a bow tie.
I'm coming back in a box. Help me.
237
00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:54,734
Miss Keiner doesn't like to miss
the coming attractions... fuzzy.
238
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:01,244
Any last words for Mom and Dad?
239
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:06,082
Tell Mom, "Politeness kills."
240
00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:08,747
After you.
241
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:14,284
- Hey!
- Frankie, I'm datin' here!
242
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,761
Well, I'm chaperonin'.
243
00:13:16,829 --> 00:13:18,764
Will you talk to him?
244
00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:21,391
Sure. He always listens to me.
245
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,699
So, uh, Frankie... nice hat!
246
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:26,706
- Shut up.
- Yes, sir.
247
00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:28,708
Frankie, be a good guy, huh?
248
00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:31,006
Go play on that swing set over there.
249
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:33,637
This I cannot do.
250
00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:37,650
Ooh, the dancin' snacks!
I love the dancin' snacks!
251
00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:41,154
Here... make a dream come true.
252
00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:44,156
Harley gave me orders.
253
00:13:44,223 --> 00:13:46,715
Ooh, the Snowcaps
are doin' the cha-cha!
254
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:50,560
I think they're savin'
the last dance for you, Frankie.
255
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:53,657
Out of my way!
256
00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:57,101
Well, alone at last!
257
00:13:57,870 --> 00:14:00,601
You know, T.K., I'm really thirsty. I think
I'll go grab us a couple of drinks, OK?
258
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,302
Oh, save your strength.
You just sit there lookin' good.
259
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:06,039
But lose this.
260
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,617
Shawn, how'd you get here?
261
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:15,086
I live on the other side of the fence.
So, how's it goin'?
262
00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:17,589
Shawn, she's all over me.
How do I get her to stop?
263
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:20,991
I've never exactly had that problem
before. How do you normally strike out?
264
00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:23,620
I don't know.
I mean, it's usually so easy for me!
265
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:26,291
OK. Look, hop on my bike.
I'll get you out of here.
266
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,768
Ditch Harley Keiner's sister on a date?
Are you mental?
267
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:31,828
Too late.
268
00:14:34,273 --> 00:14:38,233
So, where were we?
Oh, yeah.
269
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:40,041
Uh, wait, wait, wait.
Couldn't we kinda talk?
270
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:42,309
OK. Let's talk about you and me.
271
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,749
No. Let's talk about
something else, like...
272
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:48,549
- ...like, baseball!
- I hate baseball.
273
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:51,716
Mad about the strike, huh?
Let it go.
274
00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:53,089
You know, me and my brother Eric,
275
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:56,618
we went to, like, 10
Phillies games last year.
276
00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:59,097
What's the matter?
277
00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:01,100
Theresa?
278
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:03,830
Look, I was at a Phillies game once,
279
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,338
and I didn't have a good time, OK?
280
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,898
Well, what happened?
281
00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:11,501
You wanna know?
282
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:14,046
Yeah, I wanna know.
283
00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:16,105
OK.
284
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:19,311
You'll get a kick out of this one.
285
00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:21,911
My old man,
my real dad, you know?
286
00:15:21,988 --> 00:15:24,856
On my eighth birthday, he
took me to a Phillies game.
287
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,655
And it was so great being
there, just me and him.
288
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:31,061
He even arranged it so my name
flashed on the scoreboard.
289
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:32,962
That's really nice.
290
00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:34,898
Yeah, it was...
291
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:38,460
...till he started chatting it up with
this redhead in the row behind us.
292
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:40,598
He acted like I wasn't even there.
293
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:44,371
Seventh-inning stretch, he
and she went to buy some beers.
294
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,073
I never saw him again.
295
00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:49,945
Wait a minute. You're eight years old,
it's your birthday...
296
00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:53,646
The jerk ditched me. I mean,
I sat there for hours like an idiot
297
00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:58,851
with my stupid souvenir hat till one
of the ballpark guys called my mom.
298
00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:02,657
She was sort of
under the weather,
299
00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:04,993
so Harvey rode his
bike down to get me.
300
00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:06,828
Who?
301
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:08,891
Harvey, my brother.
302
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,699
He's the only one who's ever
really looked out for me.
303
00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:15,469
Wait. You're telling me Harley Keiner's
real name is Harvey?
304
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:18,670
I'm the onlyone who
gets to call him that.
305
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,881
Harvey...
306
00:16:21,948 --> 00:16:26,318
...the single most fantastic thing
I've ever heard.
307
00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:29,685
And I can't tell anyone,
'cause he'd kill me.
308
00:16:29,755 --> 00:16:32,520
Yeah. Ooh.
Yeah, he would.
309
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,264
Whoa, what are you doing?
310
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:41,028
- I like you, Cory.
- Yeah, I like you, too.
311
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:44,559
Well then, come on, kiss me.
Look, I'm sayin' it's OK!
312
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:47,197
No. I just think we should
get to know each other.
313
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:49,606
You know, get to be friends.
Slow it down a little.
314
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,667
I'm not that kind of girl.
315
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:56,012
- Aah!
- What are you doing with my sister?
316
00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:57,675
Look, Harvey,
I can explain everything!
317
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,480
Well, you better make it...
318
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:04,081
Harvey? You told him that?
Oh, you are so dead, baboon!
319
00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:07,183
No. Leave him alone!
Get off him! Come on!
320
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:09,252
Theresa, not the face.
Not the face!
321
00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:11,422
Get me out of here, Hunter.
Come on, Shawn!
322
00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:14,524
Oh, great, say my whole name. Now
Harvey's gonna be after me, too!
323
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:18,469
I'll find you, baboon,
and when I do, you're dead!
324
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,769
The kid says "Harvey."
Who could that be?
325
00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:24,634
Ohh...
326
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:34,476
Cory, here are the notes
from fourth period.
327
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,489
How long you gonna
be in there?
328
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,151
Just slip my diploma
through the grate.
329
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,353
Wait a minute.
330
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:46,566
Shawn, what kind
of notes are these?
331
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:50,592
You've got doodles and tic-tac-toe
and a piece of chewed gum?
332
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:54,266
Great. You touched it.
Now I can't eat it.
333
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:56,275
It's bad enough I got to
breathe through gym socks.
334
00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:58,743
Give me some notes...
335
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,406
I was just leaving.
336
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:08,450
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
337
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:11,252
Look, Harley, it's
only fair to warn you,
338
00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:13,589
I am wired to explosives in here.
339
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:17,596
You pull me out, this whole
school blows sky high!
340
00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:24,403
Hey, that's my friend...
and this is my locker.
341
00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:27,370
I need a moment alone with baboon.
342
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,706
- Guys, go to class.
- Class! That's a good one, Harley.
343
00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:33,610
Like me and Frankie would ever be
caught dead inside a classroom, right?
344
00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:36,205
- Go!
- OK.
345
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:39,377
Look. Harley, give me
a chance to explain.
346
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:42,911
I trusted you to take my sister
on a nice, polite date.
347
00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:44,218
How do you repay me?
348
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:47,089
You try and take advantage of
that sweet, innocent child.
349
00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:49,185
I was not the one
making the moves!
350
00:18:51,163 --> 00:18:53,098
What are you
saying to me, baboon?
351
00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:55,930
I'm right behind you, buddy!
352
00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:58,471
She was all over me, I swear!
353
00:18:58,537 --> 00:19:02,167
You expect me to believe that my
angelic baby sister
354
00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:03,709
actually came on to you?
355
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,768
Harley, I wouldn't make this up.
356
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,110
It's the truth.
You gotta believe me.
357
00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:16,678
Any of you guys
know a girl named T.K.?
358
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:19,783
- Is she fast, like he says she is?
- Oh, yeah!
359
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:25,230
You guys know the "K"
in T.K. stands for my sister?
360
00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:27,459
Oh, no!
361
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:33,067
This is very disconcerting.
362
00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:36,371
Look, Harley, I didn't mean
to say she's a bad person,
363
00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:38,968
- 'cause she's not.
- I know, I know.
364
00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:43,073
It's just, you try and do good by 'em,
raise 'em right.
365
00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:45,675
But I guess it wasn't enough.
366
00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:50,013
You know, your sister
loves you a lot.
367
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:53,753
She told me you're the only one that's
always been there for her.
368
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:56,022
And yet, it seems I failed her.
369
00:19:56,095 --> 00:20:00,055
Well, it's the pressures, you know?
The demands of my day.
370
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:02,567
I mean, I'm so busy
collectin' lunch money
371
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:05,104
and dunking kids' heads into toilets,
372
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:07,504
I hardly have time
for my sister anymore.
373
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:09,872
You do the best you can.
374
00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:13,070
Yeah. She needs more.
375
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:16,809
She just needs somebody to
set a good example for her.
376
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:22,753
And you, you're always gonna be
the biggest influence in her life.
377
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:26,418
Yeah. I could talk to her.
You know, set her straight a little.
378
00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:30,361
Yeah, that's what's important,
not who she's dating.
379
00:20:30,429 --> 00:20:34,662
Well, personally, I was
kinda hopin' she'd date you.
380
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,135
'Course, that's up to you and T.K.
381
00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:40,002
But, if it works out
and you go out again...
382
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,906
...you take her
somewhere nice, eh?
383
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:45,444
See, my sister, she deserves it.
384
00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:53,513
So, Harley, does this mean,
me and you, we're OK?
385
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,782
No.
386
00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:59,314
You can think about it!
387
00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:14,304
You ain't nothing, Keiner!
388
00:21:14,373 --> 00:21:17,866
And I ain't afraid of you, either!
I just...
389
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:21,243
...can't get out of this locker.
390
00:21:21,313 --> 00:21:22,975
Cory?
391
00:21:23,048 --> 00:21:25,677
Cory!
392
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:35,185
Mr. Matthews,
Mrs. Matthews,
393
00:21:35,261 --> 00:21:37,924
Thank you oh, so very much
394
00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:41,434
for having me for dinner
in your lovely home.
395
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:44,902
No, thank you for the lobsters!
396
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,734
You're welcome, I'm sure.
397
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:49,776
So, how's the new me
coming across, fuzzy?
398
00:21:49,842 --> 00:21:52,107
You're doing great.
399
00:21:52,178 --> 00:21:54,113
Uh-oh. This guy's missing a claw.
400
00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:57,548
That is it! I told 'em
these are important people.
401
00:21:57,616 --> 00:22:00,643
This is a very big dinner for me.
I wanted everything to be perfect!
402
00:22:00,719 --> 00:22:03,780
What do they do?
They send me damaged goods.
403
00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:13,892
Mr. Matthews,
Mrs. Matthews,
404
00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:16,401
thank you oh, so very much
405
00:22:16,468 --> 00:22:20,235
for having me for dinner
in your lovely home.
406
00:22:20,285 --> 00:22:24,835
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