All language subtitles for Blackish s05e05 Good Grief.eng

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,330 --> 00:00:03,880 Dre: No matter who you are or where you're from, 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:05,580 there's one thing we all have in common. 3 00:00:05,580 --> 00:00:08,120 [ Bell tolling ] We're all going to die. 4 00:00:08,120 --> 00:00:09,210 [ Bird caws ] 5 00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:11,210 And every culture has its own way 6 00:00:11,210 --> 00:00:13,540 of saying goodbye to their loved ones. 7 00:00:13,540 --> 00:00:14,540 Take the Vikings. 8 00:00:14,540 --> 00:00:16,040 [ Horn blares ] 9 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,380 They'd send their dead out on a wooden boat, 10 00:00:18,380 --> 00:00:20,710 then shoot it with a burning arrow. 11 00:00:20,710 --> 00:00:22,500 Super cool... 12 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:25,830 unless you went to summer camp across the lake. 13 00:00:25,830 --> 00:00:29,380 Greek widows wear all black for the rest of their lives, 14 00:00:29,380 --> 00:00:33,210 as if to say, "I'm never going to stop mourning my husband, 15 00:00:33,210 --> 00:00:35,710 and I'm not mad at looking slim." [ Camera shutters clicking ] 16 00:00:35,710 --> 00:00:37,540 Here's how we do it in America. 17 00:00:37,540 --> 00:00:40,540 You can post one memorial on your Instagram for likes. 18 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,210 You get a couple of casseroles -- 19 00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:43,960 hopefully not vegan. 20 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:47,500 After that, anything you put on Facebook is just a bummer... 21 00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:48,750 [ Mouse clicks ] 22 00:00:48,750 --> 00:00:50,250 ...because no matter how much you love 23 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,670 that person you lost... 24 00:00:51,670 --> 00:00:53,710 [ Sobbing ] 25 00:00:53,710 --> 00:00:55,920 ...life goes on... 26 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:57,040 [ Knock on door ] 27 00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:00,380 ...except when it doesn't. 28 00:01:00,380 --> 00:01:02,250 [ Voice breaking ] Andre. 29 00:01:02,250 --> 00:01:03,420 [ Sighs ] 30 00:01:03,420 --> 00:01:05,380 [ Inhales sharply, sobs ] 31 00:01:05,380 --> 00:01:07,540 Okay. [ Chuckles ] 32 00:01:07,540 --> 00:01:09,420 Bow! 33 00:01:09,420 --> 00:01:11,670 Your mom's here! 34 00:01:11,670 --> 00:01:13,920 [ Sobs ] 35 00:01:17,830 --> 00:01:20,460 I'm sorry I'm such a mess. No, it's okay. 36 00:01:20,460 --> 00:01:23,500 That's why we wanted you to be here for Dad's birthday -- 37 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,710 so we could support you. 38 00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:28,670 And we're here for you, anything you need. 39 00:01:28,670 --> 00:01:32,000 Like, if you need this to be a mother-daughter moment, 40 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,830 I can go to the Clipper game. 41 00:01:33,830 --> 00:01:35,250 Oh, no, it's good for you to be here. 42 00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:37,170 Your pheromones are just like Paul's. 43 00:01:37,170 --> 00:01:38,330 I -- Yep. 44 00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:40,000 [ Inhales deeply ] 45 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,250 Ah. Great. 46 00:01:42,250 --> 00:01:46,120 Glad me and my arm could be here for you. 47 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,750 He means it. He means it. Yeah. 48 00:01:48,750 --> 00:01:51,580 If you can believe it, Mom, he's been amazing. 49 00:01:51,580 --> 00:01:52,880 Yeah. 50 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,830 It's been very unlike me. 51 00:01:54,830 --> 00:01:55,880 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 52 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:57,750 This is my first time back at your house 53 00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:59,880 without your father. I know. 54 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:02,670 It's been -- It's been really hard. 55 00:02:02,670 --> 00:02:05,790 It has. But he is alive in our hearts. 56 00:02:05,790 --> 00:02:08,080 And you know what I've been doing with the kids? 57 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:11,290 Every week, we have been making... Mm-hmm. 58 00:02:11,290 --> 00:02:14,330 ...the famous Pasta a la Paul together. 59 00:02:14,330 --> 00:02:16,670 And I even taught them how to say, 60 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:19,380 "That's a-spicy meat-a-ball!" "Spicy meat-a-ball!" 61 00:02:19,380 --> 00:02:21,120 Unh, unh, unh, unh, unh. 62 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:24,960 All the rigatoni in the world ain't gonna help you. 63 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:29,000 You need to grieve the right way. 64 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,040 -Yes, Ruby. -Uh-huh. 65 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:31,500 We all know how you grieve. 66 00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:32,540 Mm-hmm. 67 00:02:32,540 --> 00:02:34,880 [ Shouts ] All right, it's go time. 68 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:36,170 Mama, it's not that kind of funeral! 69 00:02:36,170 --> 00:02:38,580 Yeah, well, every funeral is that kind of funeral! 70 00:02:38,580 --> 00:02:40,120 Oh, no! Aah! 71 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:41,500 [ Thuds ] [ Crowd murmurs ] 72 00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:43,500 Mama, that was your mechanic. 73 00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:45,080 Was it? Yeah. 74 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,330 Hm. I haven't thought about him since. 75 00:02:47,330 --> 00:02:49,710 Anyway, that's the way you grieve. 76 00:02:49,710 --> 00:02:52,120 That's the way you move on. 77 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:53,330 Thank you. Yeah. 78 00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:54,290 Ruby, thanks. 79 00:02:54,290 --> 00:02:55,500 Is she right? 80 00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:57,000 Does she seem right? 81 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:01,460 What you need to do is go upstairs and relax. 82 00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:04,290 And then, tomorrow, all of us together, 83 00:03:04,290 --> 00:03:07,670 we're gonna make Pasta a la Paul. 84 00:03:07,670 --> 00:03:09,040 That sounds lovely. Yeah. 85 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:11,670 Dre, you don't mind if I lie down in your bed, do you? 86 00:03:11,670 --> 00:03:13,210 Do you? Uh, of course not. 87 00:03:13,210 --> 00:03:14,710 You know, anything you need. 88 00:03:14,710 --> 00:03:15,920 You know, just -- 89 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:17,460 just stay on the right side of the bed, 90 00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:19,040 on top of the covers. 91 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:22,210 I can't believe it. I feel so bad for her. 92 00:03:22,210 --> 00:03:25,290 Dre, she -- she spent every minute... 93 00:03:25,290 --> 00:03:27,170 Mm. ...with my dad, and -- 94 00:03:27,170 --> 00:03:29,420 and now she's got to sleep in that king-sized hammock 95 00:03:29,420 --> 00:03:31,500 all by herself? 96 00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:32,920 Wow. 97 00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:35,750 God, I'm so -- I'm so lucky 98 00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:39,830 I have work, the kids, and you to keep me strong. 99 00:03:39,830 --> 00:03:41,830 Aww, babe. 100 00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:43,080 I keep you strong? 101 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,330 Eh, well... 102 00:03:45,330 --> 00:03:46,670 It's just what you say. 103 00:03:46,670 --> 00:03:47,710 Yeah. 104 00:03:47,710 --> 00:03:49,040 ♪♪ 105 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,420 Oh, guys, guess what. 106 00:03:51,420 --> 00:03:54,710 I forgot. I have three tickets to an MMA fight. 107 00:03:54,710 --> 00:03:56,500 Seriously? That's awesome! 108 00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:59,580 Well, one's for me, and one's for my Nana Jean, 109 00:03:59,580 --> 00:04:02,290 so technically, I only have one ticket. 110 00:04:02,290 --> 00:04:05,790 Wow. Sounds like you kids have a conundrum. 111 00:04:05,790 --> 00:04:08,080 Dude, were you just waiting in the hallway? 112 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:09,920 I'm supervising. 113 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,920 One foot on the floor... 114 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,750 90 degrees, open the door. 115 00:04:15,750 --> 00:04:16,830 You feel me, Chief? 116 00:04:18,620 --> 00:04:19,830 Good. 117 00:04:19,830 --> 00:04:22,750 Anyways... who wants to go? 118 00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:24,920 Ooh, me! Me, obviously! 119 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,330 Sorry you'll have to miss it, Diane. 120 00:04:26,330 --> 00:04:28,460 I'm not missing it. You're missing it. 121 00:04:28,460 --> 00:04:30,380 You don't even know anything about MMA. 122 00:04:30,380 --> 00:04:33,670 That is not true. I love... 123 00:04:33,670 --> 00:04:35,380 Mixed Man Action. 124 00:04:35,380 --> 00:04:36,710 Mm-hmm. See what I'm saying? 125 00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,670 Diane it is. 126 00:04:38,670 --> 00:04:40,920 Meet me at my house at 5:00 on Saturday. 127 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,040 Okay. 128 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:45,170 Jack, if I get "Yo Gabba Gabba!" tickets, 129 00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:46,830 I'll call you. [ Chuckles ] 130 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,120 [ Sighs ] Here you go. 131 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:53,580 And, uh -- Ohh, what's wrong, Dre? 132 00:04:53,580 --> 00:04:54,830 Ah, don't tell me. 133 00:04:54,830 --> 00:04:57,330 You finally got the bill for all your man jewelry? 134 00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:58,960 No. 135 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,330 Bow's mother is staying with us for the first time 136 00:05:01,330 --> 00:05:05,420 since Bow's father died, and she is really depressed. 137 00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:07,120 I don't want to sound insensitive, 138 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:08,330 but I hate her. 139 00:05:08,330 --> 00:05:10,830 Bow's dad is the white parent, right? 140 00:05:10,830 --> 00:05:13,040 Yeah. Dear God, Dre! 141 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:14,920 She has suffered a terrible loss. 142 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:16,080 We all have. 143 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,670 Every time a white man dies, 144 00:05:17,670 --> 00:05:21,460 we move one step closer to a majority-minority America. 145 00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:23,120 Grief is devastating. 146 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:25,120 I was torn apart when my mother died. 147 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:27,540 Mnh. So young and vibrant. 148 00:05:27,540 --> 00:05:32,000 123 years just... just isn't enough. 149 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:35,000 Yeah. Death is hardest for the people left behind. 150 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,460 I don't want any of you guys to be sad after I die. 151 00:05:37,460 --> 00:05:38,620 -Don't worry. -We're good. 152 00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:39,920 I don't know your last name. 153 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,420 Stop. I know you guys are just messing with me. 154 00:05:42,420 --> 00:05:43,830 Seriously, we're not. 155 00:05:43,830 --> 00:05:45,170 Is it Manzoukis? 156 00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:46,790 Ha, ha. 157 00:05:46,790 --> 00:05:48,830 So, to help you guys get through it, 158 00:05:48,830 --> 00:05:51,120 I have created an elaborate scavenger hunt 159 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:54,880 that will lead you to a secret location only I know. 160 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:57,830 The first one there will win a hidden treasure, 161 00:05:57,830 --> 00:06:00,000 if you manage to find it. 162 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:03,380 It's taped to the bottom of this table, isn't it? 163 00:06:03,380 --> 00:06:04,460 No. 164 00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:05,830 [ Tape peels ] 165 00:06:05,830 --> 00:06:08,290 Oh, yes, it is. 166 00:06:09,250 --> 00:06:12,330 Look, Josh actually makes a good point 167 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,380 in a sad and pathetic way. 168 00:06:14,380 --> 00:06:17,500 It is important to have a plan. 169 00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:19,620 I knew a guy who wanted a mausoleum 170 00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:20,920 as his final resting spot, 171 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,830 but his son buried him in an unmarked grave 172 00:06:23,830 --> 00:06:25,000 in a potter's field 173 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,290 just to keep all that extra money. 174 00:06:27,290 --> 00:06:28,750 That's awful. 175 00:06:28,750 --> 00:06:31,830 Eh. On the bright side, I got to keep all that extra money. 176 00:06:31,830 --> 00:06:35,290 So, Dre, uh, what does your dad think you're gonna do? 177 00:06:37,420 --> 00:06:40,290 You know, I don't know what Pops wants. 178 00:06:40,290 --> 00:06:41,880 We've never really talked about it. 179 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,540 I don't care what you do when I'm dead. 180 00:06:43,540 --> 00:06:44,880 I'll be dead. 181 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,040 Really? Yeah. 182 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,620 All you need is a pine box and a shovel. 183 00:06:48,620 --> 00:06:50,790 Matter of fact, you don't even need the pine box. 184 00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:52,120 Come on, Pops. 185 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,790 I'm trying to talk to you about something real here. 186 00:06:53,790 --> 00:06:55,000 Mm-hmm. 187 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,000 [ Tapping on table ] Fine. 188 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,750 I won't even bury you. 189 00:07:00,750 --> 00:07:03,670 I'll put you out on the curb next to the Christmas tree. 190 00:07:03,670 --> 00:07:05,330 Or you could feed me to that weird dog 191 00:07:05,330 --> 00:07:06,460 you insisted on getting. 192 00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:07,830 [ Dog panting ] 193 00:07:07,830 --> 00:07:09,920 Or I could send your body to UCLA 194 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,420 and have them study your liver. 195 00:07:11,420 --> 00:07:13,670 Or you could throw me off a boat 196 00:07:13,670 --> 00:07:15,620 like they allegedly did Osama bin Laden. 197 00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:17,500 Or I could put you in Junior's bed and say, 198 00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:19,210 "What did you do?!" 199 00:07:19,210 --> 00:07:21,170 I think you got a handle on it. [ Laughs ] 200 00:07:21,170 --> 00:07:24,420 Look, I keep $45 in a coffee can back there. 201 00:07:24,420 --> 00:07:26,750 If you need more money than that, you're doing it wrong. 202 00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:29,750 Ah, well, $45 is more than I expected 203 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,750 to get from you, anyway. 204 00:07:31,750 --> 00:07:32,790 [ Chuckles ] 205 00:07:32,790 --> 00:07:34,000 Got him. 206 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:40,500 ♪ I'm leaning on the everlasting arms ♪ 207 00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:42,380 That's it, baby! Come here! 208 00:07:42,380 --> 00:07:44,330 [ Laughs ] You're doing great! 209 00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:45,380 What's happening? 210 00:07:45,380 --> 00:07:46,620 -Yeah. -Huh? 211 00:07:46,620 --> 00:07:49,920 I was feeling blue, and Ruby came to sit with me. 212 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,670 Sure did. Stick around. 213 00:07:51,670 --> 00:07:54,500 We're about to move on to the wailing 214 00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:56,620 and the gnashing of teeth. Okay. 215 00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:59,250 I haven't sung that song since I was a little girl 216 00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:01,710 and went to church with my grandma. 217 00:08:01,710 --> 00:08:05,080 Aww. You must've been so cute when you were black. 218 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:06,670 Ruby. Huh? 219 00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:10,000 Would you mind excusing us for just -- just a moment? 220 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,830 Well, fine, yeah. 221 00:08:11,830 --> 00:08:14,380 If you want to rend your garments, 222 00:08:14,380 --> 00:08:16,830 you know where I'll be. Oh, yes. 223 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,710 Thank you so much. 224 00:08:18,710 --> 00:08:21,040 Mom... 225 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,330 what's going on? 226 00:08:23,330 --> 00:08:27,040 You're singing hymns from Western religions 227 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,960 and praying to gods with only two arms. 228 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,920 You're sitting with Ruby. 229 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,330 I'm worried about you. 230 00:08:33,330 --> 00:08:34,790 [ Voice breaking ] I know. I'm struggling. 231 00:08:34,790 --> 00:08:36,830 I know. It's really hard. [ Sighs heavily, sniffles ] 232 00:08:36,830 --> 00:08:39,080 But you always taught me to believe that... 233 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,120 our loved ones don't really ever leave us. 234 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,040 That's what's gotten me through. 235 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:47,540 I'm glad, but I can't live by that right now, 236 00:08:47,540 --> 00:08:50,790 especially with your father's birthday coming. I know. 237 00:08:50,790 --> 00:08:54,750 We used to do so many fun things to celebrate. 238 00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:57,380 ♪♪ 239 00:08:57,380 --> 00:08:58,750 You know what? 240 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,500 We still can. 241 00:09:03,380 --> 00:09:06,120 Okay, everybody, 242 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:10,170 we are going to throw a giant birthday party 243 00:09:10,170 --> 00:09:11,330 for my dad. 244 00:09:11,330 --> 00:09:13,920 What? Yeah. 245 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,170 Level with me. 246 00:09:15,170 --> 00:09:17,250 Will there be ghosts other than Grandpa at this party? 247 00:09:17,250 --> 00:09:20,380 Because if I see him dancing with Nancy Reagan, 248 00:09:20,380 --> 00:09:21,580 I'm gonna lose it. 249 00:09:21,580 --> 00:09:23,040 Uhh -- Oh, my God. 250 00:09:27,710 --> 00:09:29,040 So, why are we throwing a birthday party for Grandpa? 251 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:32,500 It's the perfect way for my mom to celebrate his life. 252 00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:34,460 You guys know how my dad loved Hawaii, right? 253 00:09:34,460 --> 00:09:38,210 Well, I was thinking we would throw him a luau. 254 00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:39,500 A luau? 255 00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:41,000 Don't worry. 256 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,540 It's not gonna be what you think. 257 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,880 Well, I'm thinking a pig on a spit in my backyard 258 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,750 and a gang of your parents' weird white friends. 259 00:09:47,750 --> 00:09:50,540 Well, then it's going to be exactly what you think. 260 00:09:50,540 --> 00:09:52,670 Sorry, Mom. This just doesn't make any sense. 261 00:09:52,670 --> 00:09:54,500 Okay, Jack, you say the same thing 262 00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:56,120 about getting out of the pool to pee. 263 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,500 The house is too far. 264 00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:58,750 So, are, um, 265 00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:01,500 Grandma and Grandpa's nudist friends gonna be there? 266 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:05,080 I-I -- 'Cause I am not sure I am prepared to see 267 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,620 how time ravages the body. 268 00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:09,000 Good question. Gross. Hard pass. 269 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:13,670 Okay, we are going to get behind this 270 00:10:13,670 --> 00:10:16,000 for Grandma, okay? 271 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,750 Saturday night is gonna be fun. 272 00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:20,460 Saturday? Yeah. 273 00:10:20,460 --> 00:10:22,670 [ Devante coos ] 274 00:10:22,670 --> 00:10:26,500 I just think a Sunday party would be more fun, right? 275 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,420 What -- "Sunday Funday"! 276 00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:30,460 That rhymes. It works. 277 00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:33,420 "Saturday Funday"? What are we doing? 278 00:10:33,420 --> 00:10:36,330 We are doing the party on Saturday. 279 00:10:36,330 --> 00:10:38,330 Do not argue with your mother. 280 00:10:38,330 --> 00:10:42,170 A naked Sunday luau party for a dead man sounds crazy. 281 00:10:42,170 --> 00:10:44,670 That's me getting behind you, all right? 282 00:10:44,670 --> 00:10:46,420 Keeping you strong. 283 00:10:46,420 --> 00:10:50,080 ♪♪ 284 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:52,080 So, I guess there's no MMA for you. 285 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:53,420 Bad break, Diane. 286 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,250 You're probably gonna miss a bad break. 287 00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:57,790 No. I am going to that fight. 288 00:10:57,790 --> 00:11:00,920 And you guys are gonna cover for me so Mom never finds out. 289 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:02,540 No way. 290 00:11:02,540 --> 00:11:05,290 I mean, Mom is going through a lot right now. 291 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,830 If we make her upset, she could become untethered, 292 00:11:07,830 --> 00:11:09,250 like Meryl Streep in a comedy. 293 00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:11,380 For once in your life, can you stop being her son 294 00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:12,670 and start being my brother? 295 00:11:12,670 --> 00:11:15,170 Ah. So, I'm supposed to choose, 296 00:11:15,170 --> 00:11:17,540 like Meryl Streep in a drama. 297 00:11:17,540 --> 00:11:21,170 This is your only chance to have a sister who loves you. 298 00:11:21,170 --> 00:11:22,960 What about Zoey? Come on. 299 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,380 Don't act like you don't know the answer to that. 300 00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:26,670 Okay. 301 00:11:26,670 --> 00:11:30,380 So, if I help you, will you call me "big bro"? 302 00:11:30,380 --> 00:11:31,960 I won't commit to anything. 303 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,460 Sounds like we have a deal. 304 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:35,210 [ Hawaiian music plays ] 305 00:11:35,210 --> 00:11:36,540 [ Sighs ] 306 00:11:36,540 --> 00:11:38,460 [ Light laughter, indistinct conversations ] 307 00:11:38,460 --> 00:11:40,000 Aloha. 308 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,580 And aloha to you. 309 00:11:41,580 --> 00:11:44,210 And -- Oh, sir, aloha. [ Chuckles ] 310 00:11:44,210 --> 00:11:45,420 Oh, arigato. 311 00:11:45,420 --> 00:11:46,830 No. You're supposed to say "mahalo." 312 00:11:46,830 --> 00:11:48,210 Oh. I-I'm not leaving. 313 00:11:48,210 --> 00:11:49,830 [ Laughs ] 314 00:11:49,830 --> 00:11:51,500 Look at this. Look at all this. 315 00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:53,000 Yes. Come on. Look what I did. 316 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,040 Aww. Ahh. 317 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,120 My dad's favorite things everywhere. 318 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:58,500 Yeah. I got to give it to you, babe. 319 00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,080 You did a really good job. 320 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,000 And the amount that I don't like this 321 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,460 means your dad would be very happy. 322 00:12:04,460 --> 00:12:05,790 [ Laughter ] 323 00:12:05,790 --> 00:12:07,290 Look, look, look, look, look. Mm-hmm. 324 00:12:07,290 --> 00:12:08,710 Oh, my God, my mom is laughing. 325 00:12:08,710 --> 00:12:10,290 My mom is laughing and smiling. 326 00:12:10,290 --> 00:12:11,670 That is exactly what I wanted. 327 00:12:11,670 --> 00:12:13,120 I did it. Oh, okay. 328 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:14,210 Aloha. 329 00:12:14,210 --> 00:12:15,960 Oh, aloha, cousin Gary! 330 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,380 I brought beer. 331 00:12:17,380 --> 00:12:18,620 My favorite. 332 00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:20,580 Because everybody else brought crystals. 333 00:12:20,580 --> 00:12:21,710 [ Chuckles ] 334 00:12:21,710 --> 00:12:23,210 Aunt Alicia. Oh, my. 335 00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,040 Hey, I wanted you to have this picture of me and Paul 336 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:26,000 at the Grand Canyon. 337 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,120 -Aww! -Aww! -Aww! 338 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,080 Rainbow: Look at you and dad's finger. 339 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,210 Alicia: That's my Paul's trademark. I know. 340 00:12:31,210 --> 00:12:32,330 Hey, Gary. Come here, man. 341 00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:33,750 You should get one of these shirts. 342 00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:35,040 Be careful of the top pocket. 343 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,120 It's like Snoop Dogg's pajama top. 344 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,210 Okay. 345 00:12:38,210 --> 00:12:40,670 That one is from Tahiti. This one is from Maui. 346 00:12:40,670 --> 00:12:42,790 Every shirt tells a story. 347 00:12:42,790 --> 00:12:44,670 Oh, well, this one tells the story 348 00:12:44,670 --> 00:12:46,830 that natural deodorant is a lie. 349 00:12:46,830 --> 00:12:47,830 Shall we? 350 00:12:47,830 --> 00:12:50,380 [ Laughs ] He's being a smart aleck. 351 00:12:50,380 --> 00:12:52,670 That shirt's stinky, Mom. [ Chuckles ] 352 00:12:52,670 --> 00:12:54,960 Oh, hey. Ohh! 353 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,790 You guys look so handsome. 354 00:12:57,790 --> 00:12:59,710 And aloha to you. 355 00:12:59,710 --> 00:13:02,040 Aloha. Oh, and aloha to you. 356 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:04,000 Jack: Aloha. Where's Diane? 357 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,750 Uh...Diane. 358 00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:06,880 Um... 359 00:13:08,250 --> 00:13:10,080 She's in the bathroom. Oh, okay, cool. 360 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,040 Will you give her that? 361 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,670 Yep. Thank you very much. Aloha. 362 00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:17,830 Dude, that was brilliant. 363 00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:19,330 How did you think of that? 364 00:13:19,330 --> 00:13:20,880 I mean, I had nothing. 365 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,170 Got you. 366 00:13:23,420 --> 00:13:24,830 Wow. 367 00:13:24,830 --> 00:13:27,330 [ Mid-tempo music playing ] 368 00:13:27,330 --> 00:13:29,380 [ Indistinct conversations ] 369 00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:34,460 Rainbow: Hey! Hi! 370 00:13:34,460 --> 00:13:37,040 Good to see you! 371 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:40,000 Oh, this is over for you people. 372 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,040 Hmph. 373 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,330 Don't let all this fool you, old man, all right? 374 00:13:44,330 --> 00:13:46,710 We are definitely not throwing you a party when you go. 375 00:13:46,710 --> 00:13:48,210 Oh, I hope not. Hmm. 376 00:13:48,210 --> 00:13:49,500 Six months after I'm gone, 377 00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:51,750 I shouldn't even come up in conversation... Mm-hmm. 378 00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:54,380 ...unless it's amongst my, uh, grieving tenderonis. 379 00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:55,580 Oh, yeah. 380 00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:57,170 There's gonna be a whole lot of wig snatching 381 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,040 when they find out they're not the only one. 382 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,830 Mm, that reminds me. Hmm? 383 00:14:00,830 --> 00:14:04,330 My phone's contact list alone could ruin many lives, son. 384 00:14:04,330 --> 00:14:06,170 If you love me, 385 00:14:06,170 --> 00:14:07,290 throw it in the microwave. 386 00:14:07,290 --> 00:14:08,500 Mm-hmm. Got you, Pops. 387 00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:10,710 Aah! Look at Mom! 388 00:14:10,710 --> 00:14:14,210 Look at Mom dancing and having such a good time. 389 00:14:14,210 --> 00:14:15,960 Hi! 390 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,540 Mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh. 391 00:14:17,540 --> 00:14:19,420 Look at all this carrying on. 392 00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:20,580 It's blasphemous. 393 00:14:20,580 --> 00:14:22,540 Come on, Ruby. Mnh-mnh. 394 00:14:22,540 --> 00:14:24,500 It's like you're daring this white man 395 00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:26,210 to come back and haunt us all. 396 00:14:26,210 --> 00:14:27,580 Okay, Mama... Hmm? 397 00:14:27,580 --> 00:14:28,880 ...that's crazy. 398 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:29,670 But true. 399 00:14:29,670 --> 00:14:30,710 [ Chuckles ] 400 00:14:30,710 --> 00:14:31,620 But crazy. 401 00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:32,460 But true. 402 00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:33,250 [ Groans ] No. 403 00:14:33,250 --> 00:14:35,040 Devil, come out. 404 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,960 Pops: Hey, hey. What's wrong with these people? 405 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,330 Why are they dancing in groups instead of couples? 406 00:14:39,330 --> 00:14:42,080 Huh. They're polyamorous. 407 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:43,500 Who am I to judge these people? 408 00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:44,540 Don't judge them. 409 00:14:44,540 --> 00:14:48,380 ♪♪ 410 00:14:48,380 --> 00:14:52,290 So, let's raise a glass to Grandpa Paul from all of us. 411 00:14:52,290 --> 00:14:54,920 From Zoey, who couldn't be here, 412 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:56,920 and Jack, who is right here, 413 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:58,670 and Diane, who... 414 00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:01,580 who, uh... 415 00:15:01,580 --> 00:15:03,460 Who has a leg cramp and is out front 416 00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:04,880 walking it off right now. 417 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:06,000 To Grandpa Paul. 418 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,540 All: Grandpa Paul. 419 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,210 All right. So good. 420 00:15:09,210 --> 00:15:12,000 This party is more incredible 421 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,830 than I could ever have imagined. 422 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,120 Thank you, honey. Ohh, Mom! 423 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,830 You -- Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. 424 00:15:16,830 --> 00:15:18,670 This is what I wanted. I wanted you happy. 425 00:15:18,670 --> 00:15:19,960 It's just -- It's beautiful. 426 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,250 Okay. Well, here's our mom. 427 00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:22,790 Thank you. You guys were amazing. Thank you. 428 00:15:22,790 --> 00:15:24,420 Beautiful, very handsome young men. 429 00:15:24,420 --> 00:15:26,670 Uh, aloha, everybody. 430 00:15:26,670 --> 00:15:28,040 All: Aloha! 431 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:31,210 So, I thought I would just share a little story about my dad, 432 00:15:31,210 --> 00:15:35,040 um, that will probably explain the giant popcorn maker. 433 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:36,330 [ Chuckles ] 434 00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:37,920 My dad loved popcorn. 435 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,460 He loved all different kinds of popcorn. 436 00:15:40,460 --> 00:15:44,540 My dad especially loved movie-theater popcorn. 437 00:15:44,540 --> 00:15:47,880 [ Chuckles ] So, we would go to the movies whenever he could. 438 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,420 As an excuse, he would take me to any movie that came out. 439 00:15:50,420 --> 00:15:52,830 So we went to "Airplane!" 440 00:15:52,830 --> 00:15:55,170 uh, "Stir Crazy," and then "Caddyshack." 441 00:15:55,170 --> 00:15:58,330 And then I loved it so much that I begged him 442 00:15:58,330 --> 00:16:00,750 to take me back to see "Caddyshack," right, 443 00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:04,830 and we went every night for an entire month. 444 00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:08,250 [ Laughing ] Every night just 'cause it made me happy. 445 00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:13,420 Oh! Anyway, so, every time I go home, we watch it together. 446 00:16:13,420 --> 00:16:16,580 So -- Oh. 447 00:16:16,580 --> 00:16:18,250 Oh, God. 448 00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:20,540 [ Voice breaking ] Well, we -- we did. 449 00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:23,500 We did watch it together every time I would go home. 450 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:28,120 Anyway, so now, I've been watching it with the kids. 451 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:32,790 And we do -- And we do all of our favorite lines together, 452 00:16:32,790 --> 00:16:35,500 like, you know, back and forth, 453 00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:38,830 'cause it makes me feel like he's -- he's here with us. 454 00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:40,830 [ Whimpers ] 455 00:16:40,830 --> 00:16:42,920 I'm so sorry. 456 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,210 This was supposed to be a happy -- 457 00:16:45,210 --> 00:16:47,580 I just -- 458 00:16:47,580 --> 00:16:49,710 He's gone. 459 00:16:49,710 --> 00:16:51,880 He's gone. 460 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,250 Never gonna be do -- 461 00:16:53,250 --> 00:16:55,620 able to do any of those things with him again. 462 00:16:55,620 --> 00:16:58,880 So, anyway, I'm sorry. 463 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,040 Oh! [ Microphone feedback ] 464 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:02,330 [ Whimpers ] 465 00:17:02,330 --> 00:17:06,290 ♪♪ 466 00:17:06,290 --> 00:17:07,710 Pops, are you crying? 467 00:17:07,710 --> 00:17:10,210 [ Crying ] No. 468 00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:13,710 Oh, damn. Yeah, I am. 469 00:17:13,710 --> 00:17:15,250 All right, I'll be back, Pops. 470 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,670 The whole point of this night was to cheer you up. 471 00:17:21,670 --> 00:17:23,500 I totally failed. 472 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,290 Honey, everything about tonight 473 00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:27,580 was incredible. Was it? 474 00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:30,750 It's like your father was everywhere! 475 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,290 I even found a memento in my pocket. 476 00:17:33,290 --> 00:17:34,580 Did you? 477 00:17:34,580 --> 00:17:38,620 I remember, when we were in Morocco, 478 00:17:38,620 --> 00:17:40,170 your father stepped on this... 479 00:17:40,170 --> 00:17:41,040 Oh. 480 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:42,040 ...barefoot. 481 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:43,500 He was not a shoe guy. 482 00:17:43,500 --> 00:17:46,960 We got asked to leave many restaurants. [ Laughs ] 483 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,710 It all just snuck up on me, Mom. 484 00:17:50,710 --> 00:17:55,380 Yeah, you've been working so hard to keep him alive, 485 00:17:55,380 --> 00:17:56,960 you haven't totally faced the fact 486 00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,040 that he's not with us anymore. 487 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,880 Nope. 488 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,120 Just let go of the pressure to be strong 489 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:06,210 and make a space to feel it. 490 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,330 Ruby was right. 491 00:18:10,330 --> 00:18:12,120 [ Gasps ] No. 492 00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:15,670 You can never tell her. 493 00:18:15,670 --> 00:18:19,120 [ Indistinct conversations ] 494 00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:20,620 Hey. 495 00:18:20,620 --> 00:18:22,750 You, uh... 496 00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:25,920 You want to talk about what happened out there? 497 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:27,040 Wasn't planning on it. 498 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,210 I get it. 499 00:18:29,210 --> 00:18:30,750 We're Johnson men. 500 00:18:30,750 --> 00:18:32,380 That's not our way. 501 00:18:32,380 --> 00:18:34,120 We're stoic. 502 00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:35,710 Yeah, suffer in silence. 503 00:18:35,710 --> 00:18:38,250 You're doing a lot of talking for somebody whose way it isn't. 504 00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:39,620 Hey, Pops, I'm just saying, 505 00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:42,330 I get why you don't want to talk about death. 506 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:44,290 Death is scary, 507 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,250 and talking about it makes it real. 508 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,210 I know it's real, dummy. It's death. 509 00:18:49,790 --> 00:18:53,170 Look, seeing Bow standing up there crying 510 00:18:53,170 --> 00:18:55,960 made me realize that my death isn't going to be about me. 511 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,210 It's going to be about you. 512 00:18:57,210 --> 00:18:59,500 You're going to be the one standing up there crying. 513 00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:01,460 And if you want to know what my wishes are 514 00:19:01,460 --> 00:19:04,170 so that you can move on, I'd like to give that to you, son. 515 00:19:05,620 --> 00:19:07,420 Thanks, Pops. 516 00:19:07,420 --> 00:19:11,330 First, I want to be buried right here in L.A. 517 00:19:11,330 --> 00:19:14,670 That way, you can come visit and we can have a drink 518 00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:17,920 and you can keep me up on all the family business. 519 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:19,250 Sounds good. 520 00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:22,210 For my funeral, all this backyard business 521 00:19:22,210 --> 00:19:23,710 may be good enough for Tommy Bahama. 522 00:19:23,710 --> 00:19:25,500 For me, you rent a hall -- 523 00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:27,620 and a place that's just a little too small 524 00:19:27,620 --> 00:19:29,500 so not everybody can get in. 525 00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:31,170 You hear me? 526 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,210 You got it. 527 00:19:32,210 --> 00:19:33,580 Whatever you do... Mm-hmm? 528 00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:36,080 ...do not bury me next to your mother. 529 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,750 And if I die first, you don't tell her I'm dead 530 00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:41,250 until after you bury me, 531 00:19:41,250 --> 00:19:44,120 'cause I think she might want to do bad things to my body. 532 00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:46,120 [ Inhales sharply ] 533 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:47,960 I could see that. 534 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:50,170 Ruby. Yes? 535 00:19:50,170 --> 00:19:52,380 Thank you so much for everything you did for me. 536 00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:54,170 You're welcome. 537 00:19:54,170 --> 00:19:56,420 I'm glad I could save the day. 538 00:19:56,420 --> 00:19:58,830 No, I -- I actually saved the day. 539 00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:01,620 It w-- It was the party and all the stories 540 00:20:01,620 --> 00:20:02,790 that helped my mom. 541 00:20:02,790 --> 00:20:04,710 Yeah, but you only felt better 542 00:20:04,710 --> 00:20:07,120 after you ugly-cried through that party 543 00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:08,960 the way the Lord would have wanted. 544 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,960 Yes, uh... 545 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:11,710 You win. 546 00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,250 Damn straight I did. 547 00:20:13,250 --> 00:20:14,250 [ Scoffs ] 548 00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:16,420 You made faces I'll never forget, 549 00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:20,380 looking like the mask of comedy and tragedy at the same time. 550 00:20:20,380 --> 00:20:22,330 Hey. Come on, Alicia. 551 00:20:22,330 --> 00:20:24,960 Let's go get my keyboard out and sing. 552 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,330 "Jesus Keep Me Near The Cross" 553 00:20:26,330 --> 00:20:28,210 has been burning in my throat all day. 554 00:20:28,210 --> 00:20:29,500 Come on. Let's go get it out. 555 00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:31,830 Ruby, it's a kind offer, but I don't pray to Jesus. 556 00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:33,210 I pray to Hafez... Oh. 557 00:20:33,210 --> 00:20:34,620 ...the Sufi poet and mystic. 558 00:20:34,620 --> 00:20:36,380 That's right. 559 00:20:36,380 --> 00:20:38,420 Come for me, bitch. 560 00:20:42,790 --> 00:20:44,210 So, this fighter Saji dropped a vertical elbow 561 00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:45,710 on Maserati Doug's scalp. A-bam! 562 00:20:45,710 --> 00:20:48,000 Blood everywhere, stained the mat. 563 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:51,750 Wow. Wow. 564 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:56,170 That sounds like something I'm definitely ready to see. 565 00:20:56,170 --> 00:20:57,170 Yeah. Mm-hmm. Right. 566 00:20:57,170 --> 00:20:59,000 So, how was the covering for me? 567 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,580 Um... 568 00:21:01,580 --> 00:21:02,710 Uh, we... 569 00:21:02,710 --> 00:21:04,170 I didn't know what to say. 570 00:21:04,170 --> 00:21:07,000 Junior was great, totally handled everything. 571 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,830 [ Sighs ] Well, that is awesome. 572 00:21:08,830 --> 00:21:10,750 You're the best big bro ever. 573 00:21:10,750 --> 00:21:12,380 Thank you. 574 00:21:12,380 --> 00:21:13,620 [ Sighs ] 575 00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:16,500 Oh, and I brought you guys some gifts. 576 00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:18,380 Are those teeth? Mm-hmm. 577 00:21:18,380 --> 00:21:20,000 I caught them when they bounced out the cage. 578 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,330 Cool! 579 00:21:21,330 --> 00:21:22,750 They're still warm! [ Gags ] 580 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:27,350 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40591

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