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DRE: It's often been said,
"A man's home is his castle."
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00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:07,379
We do everything necessary
3
00:00:07,380 --> 00:00:10,250
to maintain and protect our property.
4
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[Sword strikes]
5
00:00:13,670 --> 00:00:14,580
[Cellphone chimes]
6
00:00:17,830 --> 00:00:19,829
The only problem is,
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you can't control what other
people do with their castles...
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[Indistinct shouting]
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...which can really suck
10
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:33,460
if you happen to be
the castle-owner next door.
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00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:38,289
- [Sword clatters]
- Yep.
12
00:00:38,290 --> 00:00:40,540
That's what's been happening
in my kingdom.
13
00:00:42,620 --> 00:00:45,119
Ugh, will you look at this?
14
00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:47,079
Hey, Dre, what ya doing?
15
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:48,749
- Come on, Janine!
- Oh, I'm sorry.
16
00:00:48,750 --> 00:00:50,169
I wanted to talk to you,
17
00:00:50,170 --> 00:00:51,459
and sometimes when I knock on your door,
18
00:00:51,460 --> 00:00:53,379
I feel like you guys
pretend not to be home.
19
00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:55,619
We don't pretend not to be home.
20
00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,539
We pretend we can't hear the door.
21
00:00:57,540 --> 00:01:00,789
All right, uh, is this...
Is all this Airbnb people?
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00:01:00,790 --> 00:01:02,119
Yeah, the Kellys really screwed us
23
00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:03,140
when they decided to
rent out their house.
24
00:01:03,165 --> 00:01:05,379
I mean, these people leave
pizza boxes on the lawn,
25
00:01:05,380 --> 00:01:06,749
they... they park in front
of my driveway.
26
00:01:06,750 --> 00:01:08,419
Last weekend, there was a party.
27
00:01:08,420 --> 00:01:11,829
I found human poo in my garden.
28
00:01:11,830 --> 00:01:13,709
It could've been an animal.
29
00:01:13,710 --> 00:01:15,499
Ohh, Dre, I think I know the difference.
30
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[Chuckles]
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I can't believe I'm agreeing
with you, but...
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[sighs] this does need to be handled.
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That's why I'm talking
to all the neighbors,
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- and we are gonna call the police.
- Nope!
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00:01:26,061 --> 00:01:28,230
Good luck with your white-people fight.
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00:01:28,231 --> 00:01:29,601
Keep my name out of it.
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38
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You guys wouldn't believe what
Janine just asked me to do.
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00:01:40,731 --> 00:01:44,190
She tried to get you to call
the police about those renters.
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How'd you know?
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Blond hair? Always outside?
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I know a snitch when I see one.
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00:01:49,391 --> 00:01:51,230
She's right to want to do
something, though.
44
00:01:51,231 --> 00:01:53,100
You know, I was running by that
house this morning,
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and a couple of the guys
were catcalling me...
46
00:01:55,521 --> 00:01:57,448
- Hmm.
- ...saying I was sexy.
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00:01:57,473 --> 00:01:58,407
Hmm.
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00:01:58,432 --> 00:02:00,600
You've just been waiting
for a way to get that story out?
49
00:02:00,601 --> 00:02:02,310
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
50
00:02:02,311 --> 00:02:03,520
[Laughs]
51
00:02:03,521 --> 00:02:04,940
And I'm gonna tell it
when I get to work,
52
00:02:04,941 --> 00:02:06,350
but seriously, that house is a problem.
53
00:02:06,351 --> 00:02:09,060
Okay, well, calling the cops
is not an option.
54
00:02:09,061 --> 00:02:11,600
- Okay.
- The Johnsons don't snitch.
55
00:02:11,601 --> 00:02:12,730
- That's right.
- Okay.
56
00:02:12,731 --> 00:02:14,350
Wait, I thought Johnsons
don't eat leftovers.
57
00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:15,890
No, that's just because
Dad doesn't leave
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enough for leftovers.
59
00:02:17,851 --> 00:02:21,190
Junior, I wanted Cheddar Bunnies
instead of Goldfish.
60
00:02:21,191 --> 00:02:23,600
Ooh, that new kid, Wyatt, he
loves Cheddar Bunnies, too.
61
00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:25,270
[Scoffs] What?!
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Shut up. I don't even know Wyatt.
63
00:02:27,151 --> 00:02:28,730
I don't even know if he eats.
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00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:30,230
All right, I got to go to
the hospital, guys.
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00:02:30,231 --> 00:02:32,131
There's been a horrible
bus accident. Bye.
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00:02:32,156 --> 00:02:33,032
- POPS: All right, Bow.
- JUNIOR: Bye, Mom.
67
00:02:33,057 --> 00:02:34,213
- Bye.
- Yeah, you do.
68
00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:35,908
You gave Wyatt all of
your snacks yesterday.
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00:02:37,427 --> 00:02:38,847
[Whispering] Shut... up!
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00:02:42,311 --> 00:02:43,683
Oh, my God.
71
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:46,207
Oh, my God.
72
00:02:47,061 --> 00:02:51,171
My baby girl... has a crush on a boy.
73
00:02:51,210 --> 00:02:52,459
[Baby talk] Yes, she does.
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[High-pitched]
You've got a crush on a boy!
75
00:02:54,469 --> 00:02:57,099
- Kindly unhand me, Mother.
- Unhanding.
76
00:02:59,691 --> 00:03:01,650
Hey, sorry I'm late, guys.
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00:03:01,651 --> 00:03:04,190
My neighbor won't leave me alone.
78
00:03:04,191 --> 00:03:06,650
Oh-ho! Been there.
79
00:03:06,651 --> 00:03:08,230
But lookit, Dre, you got to tell her,
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00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:12,020
say, "Hey, we're both married.
This has got to end, Jocelyn.
81
00:03:12,021 --> 00:03:13,270
You know, eventually,
82
00:03:13,271 --> 00:03:15,310
your husband's gonna
come home from war."
83
00:03:15,311 --> 00:03:17,650
Okay, your life is disgusting.
84
00:03:17,651 --> 00:03:19,150
And it's not that.
85
00:03:19,151 --> 00:03:22,850
She wants me to call the police
on an Airbnb on our block.
86
00:03:22,851 --> 00:03:24,560
- No, she don't. [Scoffs]
- Yes, she does.
87
00:03:24,561 --> 00:03:26,350
What's the big deal about
having renters on your street?
88
00:03:26,351 --> 00:03:28,440
Yeah, and where do you have to be from
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00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:32,516
to think that your neighborhood is
a vacation destination? [Laughs]
90
00:03:32,541 --> 00:03:34,943
Really, just call the cops.
91
00:03:34,968 --> 00:03:36,507
I'm not gonna do that, all right,
92
00:03:36,532 --> 00:03:38,802
because Black people, we don't snitch.
93
00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:40,873
That's right. We do not.
94
00:03:40,898 --> 00:03:43,067
I once was tied up in
a basement with a phone
95
00:03:43,068 --> 00:03:44,897
that only dialed 911,
96
00:03:44,898 --> 00:03:48,187
and I still refused to snitch
on my captors.
97
00:03:48,188 --> 00:03:50,477
- Mm-hmm.
- They say, "Snitches get stitches."
98
00:03:50,478 --> 00:03:52,977
Unfortunately, so do non-snitches.
99
00:03:52,978 --> 00:03:55,147
- Oh, my God. They stabbed you?
- Worse.
100
00:03:55,148 --> 00:03:58,357
When I finally got home,
I tried to cut a bagel.
101
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Six stitches in my palm.
102
00:03:59,818 --> 00:04:02,147
But I never snitched on that bagel.
103
00:04:02,148 --> 00:04:05,437
Calling law enforcement
is not snitching.
104
00:04:05,438 --> 00:04:07,067
And besides, as a landowner,
105
00:04:07,068 --> 00:04:09,687
it's actually one of your
constitutional rights.
106
00:04:09,688 --> 00:04:11,567
Just doesn't feel right.
107
00:04:11,568 --> 00:04:15,437
Okay, let's say your house
catches on fire. What do you do?
108
00:04:15,438 --> 00:04:17,397
- You call the fire department, right?
- Mm-hmm.
109
00:04:17,398 --> 00:04:19,237
If your son falls and breaks his leg,
110
00:04:19,238 --> 00:04:21,147
you call the ambulance, right?
111
00:04:21,148 --> 00:04:23,187
If your yacht ran aground
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00:04:23,188 --> 00:04:26,148
full of cocaine and prostitutes,
you'd call a Senator.
113
00:04:27,318 --> 00:04:28,647
I'm just saying.
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00:04:28,648 --> 00:04:30,478
Make the system work for you.
115
00:04:34,778 --> 00:04:37,647
- Ooh, I am slaying in this one.
- Uh-huh.
116
00:04:37,648 --> 00:04:39,107
Ugh, but my eyes are closed.
117
00:04:39,108 --> 00:04:40,237
Oh, no, I got you, sis.
118
00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:41,817
Just use that Top Shot thing.
119
00:04:41,818 --> 00:04:44,027
All right. And boom. Check it out.
120
00:04:44,028 --> 00:04:46,477
It automatically loses
the sleepy-slay pic
121
00:04:46,478 --> 00:04:48,777
and chooses the best one.
122
00:04:48,778 --> 00:04:50,930
- Crisis averted.
- Thank you!
123
00:04:50,955 --> 00:04:51,836
- [Chuckles]
- Mm-hmm.
124
00:04:51,861 --> 00:04:53,737
Boy, bye... boy, hi.
125
00:04:53,738 --> 00:04:56,027
- Right.
- What are we doing?
126
00:04:56,028 --> 00:04:58,687
Ooh... hi.
127
00:04:58,688 --> 00:05:00,817
Are we posting pictures for Wyatt?
128
00:05:00,818 --> 00:05:01,897
[Chuckles] Let me see.
129
00:05:01,898 --> 00:05:03,067
[Grunts] Let me get in here.
130
00:05:03,068 --> 00:05:04,857
I'm coming, I'm coming. [Chuckles]
131
00:05:04,858 --> 00:05:06,737
Let me see, let me see, let me
see, let me see, let me see!
132
00:05:06,738 --> 00:05:08,857
- [Gasps] That one's beautiful.
- What?!
133
00:05:08,858 --> 00:05:10,527
How you gonna put me out
there like that?
134
00:05:10,528 --> 00:05:11,607
I didn't put you anywhere!
135
00:05:11,608 --> 00:05:12,737
You don't see that wonky eyebrow?
136
00:05:12,738 --> 00:05:15,977
Diane, you have Mommy's eyebrows.
137
00:05:15,978 --> 00:05:17,187
You do.
138
00:05:17,188 --> 00:05:18,737
So just delete that one that Mom liked
139
00:05:18,738 --> 00:05:20,857
and post that one.
140
00:05:20,858 --> 00:05:22,277
- Um...
- [Cellphone chimes]
141
00:05:22,278 --> 00:05:23,437
[Gasps] He liked it already!
142
00:05:23,438 --> 00:05:24,398
- No way! [Gasps]
- Yeah!
143
00:05:24,399 --> 00:05:25,897
Oh, my God! Ah, ah, okay.
144
00:05:25,898 --> 00:05:27,397
Everybody calm down.
You know what you need to do?
145
00:05:27,398 --> 00:05:29,607
You need to like one of his pictures.
146
00:05:29,608 --> 00:05:30,528
[Gasps] Oh, should she, Mom?
147
00:05:30,529 --> 00:05:31,937
- Yes!
- One or two or maybe all?
148
00:05:31,938 --> 00:05:33,397
- Oh, two.
- Why not all of them from this year?
149
00:05:33,398 --> 00:05:34,937
- Right?
- Oh, my God! Yes, yes!
150
00:05:34,938 --> 00:05:38,897
And that way, he will know that
you are interested. [Laughs]
151
00:05:38,898 --> 00:05:40,607
- Are you messing with me?
- Yes, I am.
152
00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:42,187
- What?
- Okay, Diane, if you really want this
153
00:05:42,188 --> 00:05:44,237
to work with Wyatt, just do what I say.
154
00:05:44,238 --> 00:05:46,897
- Okay.
- Text, "You're so funny."
155
00:05:46,898 --> 00:05:48,237
No, that's weird.
156
00:05:48,238 --> 00:05:51,357
But next, you text him,
"Sorry, wrong person."
157
00:05:51,358 --> 00:05:54,065
- Ooh, yeah.
- No, that's... No, don't.
158
00:05:54,090 --> 00:05:55,098
- That's manipulative.
- [Cellphone chimes]
159
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:56,213
- That's weird.
- [Gasps] Shh!
160
00:05:56,238 --> 00:05:57,674
- Wait, what?
- He texted back.
161
00:05:57,699 --> 00:05:58,924
- No, he did not!
- Already?
162
00:05:58,949 --> 00:06:01,067
And he asked if I wanted to go
to ice cream on Saturday!
163
00:06:01,068 --> 00:06:02,662
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
164
00:06:02,687 --> 00:06:05,437
[Screeching laughter]
165
00:06:05,438 --> 00:06:06,937
Ice cream! Ice cream!
166
00:06:06,938 --> 00:06:09,277
Ice creeaaam!
167
00:06:09,278 --> 00:06:10,527
Ice cream.
168
00:06:10,528 --> 00:06:11,777
[Singsong voice] We... are going...
169
00:06:11,778 --> 00:06:13,607
to ice cream... with a boy.
170
00:06:13,608 --> 00:06:15,607
We are... You're closing the door.
171
00:06:15,608 --> 00:06:16,955
- Wait.
- Congratulations.
172
00:06:16,980 --> 00:06:19,067
Thank you so much!
173
00:06:19,068 --> 00:06:20,477
DRE: What the hell?
174
00:06:20,478 --> 00:06:23,317
Hey, Dre, someone's blocking
your driveway.
175
00:06:23,318 --> 00:06:25,397
Pretty aggravating, huh?
176
00:06:25,398 --> 00:06:27,277
Maine plates, too.
177
00:06:27,278 --> 00:06:28,477
[Groaning] Aahh!
178
00:06:28,502 --> 00:06:30,655
I wish there was something we could do.
179
00:06:32,335 --> 00:06:33,950
What do you want me
to do about it, Janine?
180
00:06:33,951 --> 00:06:35,110
I'm just saying.
181
00:06:35,111 --> 00:06:37,150
I mean, they're right over there.
182
00:06:37,151 --> 00:06:39,610
They gave that guy a ticket for
putting his trash in my can.
183
00:06:39,611 --> 00:06:40,910
Seems extreme.
184
00:06:40,911 --> 00:06:42,570
All right, maybe, maybe.
185
00:06:42,571 --> 00:06:44,950
Look, if you wanna keep your sweet ride
186
00:06:44,951 --> 00:06:47,700
parked on the street tonight,
you know, fine by me.
187
00:06:47,701 --> 00:06:50,200
Hope no one tries to key it.
188
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,820
Anything else we can
help you with, ma'am?
189
00:06:51,821 --> 00:06:53,030
No, no, I'm okay. Thank you.
190
00:06:53,031 --> 00:06:55,780
Unless my friend Mr. Johnson
needs something.
191
00:06:55,781 --> 00:06:57,950
Uh...
192
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,820
Well, this guy's kinda
blocking my driveway.
193
00:06:59,821 --> 00:07:02,320
Kind of? You can't even
access your property.
194
00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:04,530
This is some real Maine [bleep].
195
00:07:04,531 --> 00:07:05,701
You want it towed or ticketed?
196
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:09,150
I thought that was your choice.
197
00:07:09,151 --> 00:07:10,780
You're the homeowner.
198
00:07:10,781 --> 00:07:12,200
You're the boss.
199
00:07:12,201 --> 00:07:17,740
200
00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:20,150
What are you doing?
201
00:07:20,151 --> 00:07:22,240
Can you believe how far this Airbnb lady
202
00:07:22,241 --> 00:07:23,280
parked her car in the street?
203
00:07:23,281 --> 00:07:24,610
It's got to be over 3 feet.
204
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,820
Hey, want to help me measure it
205
00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:28,150
before I call it in to the police?
206
00:07:28,151 --> 00:07:30,410
Whoa. I-I thought Johnsons don't snitch.
207
00:07:30,411 --> 00:07:31,411
Don't be ignorant.
208
00:07:31,412 --> 00:07:32,990
All right, it's not snitching
209
00:07:32,991 --> 00:07:34,200
when you're a homeowner.
210
00:07:34,201 --> 00:07:35,320
Oh, uh...
211
00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:37,280
Okay, cool.
212
00:07:37,281 --> 00:07:39,950
[The Isley Brothers'
"It's Your Thing" plays]
213
00:07:39,951 --> 00:07:41,780
Here you are. Drive safe out there.
214
00:07:41,781 --> 00:07:45,530
215
00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:47,950
It's your thing
216
00:07:47,951 --> 00:07:51,610
Do what you wanna do
217
00:07:51,611 --> 00:07:53,820
I can't tell you
218
00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:55,860
Who to sock it to
219
00:07:55,861 --> 00:07:57,110
It's your thing
220
00:07:57,111 --> 00:07:58,490
Go, Dre, go!
221
00:07:58,491 --> 00:08:00,320
Do what you wanna do
222
00:08:00,321 --> 00:08:01,820
[Alarm beeping]
223
00:08:01,821 --> 00:08:04,450
- Time.
-
I can't tell you
224
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:05,820
- [Ringing]
-
Who to sock it to
225
00:08:05,821 --> 00:08:08,410
- DISPATCHER: 911, what's your emergency?
-
If you want me to love you
226
00:08:08,459 --> 00:08:11,610
-
Maybe I will
- Uh, oh, hell no!
227
00:08:11,611 --> 00:08:13,450
- Light 'em up.
- All right.
228
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:16,200
It ain't no big deal
229
00:08:16,201 --> 00:08:18,650
You need love now
230
00:08:18,651 --> 00:08:21,410
Just as bad as I do
231
00:08:21,411 --> 00:08:24,280
Makes me no difference now
232
00:08:24,281 --> 00:08:27,410
Who you give your thing to
233
00:08:27,411 --> 00:08:30,106
All right. Everybody say "lemonade"!
234
00:08:30,131 --> 00:08:31,170
- Lemonade!
- Lemonade!
235
00:08:31,195 --> 00:08:32,506
[Camera shutter clicks]
236
00:08:32,531 --> 00:08:36,030
As I drove my steel steed
through my kingdom,
237
00:08:36,031 --> 00:08:39,354
I heard the much-too-loud
merriment of peasants.
238
00:08:39,379 --> 00:08:40,385
[Music plays in distance]
239
00:08:40,410 --> 00:08:42,490
But I was secure in the fact
that my castle
240
00:08:42,491 --> 00:08:46,030
would always be protected
by my ever-ready knights
241
00:08:46,031 --> 00:08:49,864
of Sherman Oaks, who were only
a three-digit call away.
242
00:08:53,361 --> 00:08:58,110
A three-digit call I could not
make in this instance.
243
00:08:58,111 --> 00:09:03,611
244
00:09:07,991 --> 00:09:08,991
Hi, Mom.
245
00:09:08,992 --> 00:09:10,280
Oh, hey, sweetie.
246
00:09:10,281 --> 00:09:13,780
Hi. Aah! Bloop, bloop! Look.
247
00:09:13,781 --> 00:09:16,820
I found a couple of options for you
248
00:09:16,821 --> 00:09:19,862
that might be great for
your ice cream situation.
249
00:09:19,887 --> 00:09:20,909
- That's okay.
- Oh.
250
00:09:20,934 --> 00:09:22,490
Zoey already picked
something out for me.
251
00:09:22,491 --> 00:09:24,910
Okay, I mean, that's fine. It's so cute.
252
00:09:24,911 --> 00:09:26,910
Okay. Let's see.
253
00:09:26,911 --> 00:09:28,280
Oh, yeah.
254
00:09:28,281 --> 00:09:30,740
I guess that's cuter.
255
00:09:30,741 --> 00:09:32,450
Maybe I could do something cute
with your hair.
256
00:09:32,451 --> 00:09:34,200
Zoey already told me what
to do with my hair, so...
257
00:09:34,201 --> 00:09:36,240
Oh.
258
00:09:36,241 --> 00:09:37,990
Got it.
259
00:09:37,991 --> 00:09:40,280
It's a sister thing. Yeah.
260
00:09:40,281 --> 00:09:42,150
I-I thought we were doing the, like,
261
00:09:42,151 --> 00:09:46,740
communal female empowerment
"sister"... pbht! thing.
262
00:09:46,741 --> 00:09:48,410
[Chuckles] I'll head out, then.
263
00:09:48,411 --> 00:09:49,950
Sounds like Zoey's got it under control.
264
00:09:49,951 --> 00:09:51,070
I'll close this. Yep.
265
00:09:51,071 --> 00:09:52,353
- Yeah. It's fine. You can close it.
- Okay.
266
00:09:52,378 --> 00:09:54,321
Okay. Okay, sweetheart. Love you.
267
00:09:54,322 --> 00:09:55,490
[Door closes]
268
00:09:55,491 --> 00:09:56,605
[Cellphone chimes]
269
00:09:59,192 --> 00:10:00,596
_
270
00:10:00,620 --> 00:10:03,814
_
271
00:10:05,025 --> 00:10:06,971
What?!
272
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,586
Um... [Sighs]
273
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:12,410
[Ringing]
274
00:10:12,411 --> 00:10:14,930
Hey, this is Zoey. Leave a message.
275
00:10:14,955 --> 00:10:16,360
- [Voicemail beeps]
- Hi, Zoey.
276
00:10:16,361 --> 00:10:19,360
He just asked if we should split
it or if he should pay.
277
00:10:19,361 --> 00:10:20,990
What do I say?
278
00:10:20,991 --> 00:10:23,490
You know what? Just call me back.
279
00:10:23,491 --> 00:10:24,950
Bye.
280
00:10:24,951 --> 00:10:27,650
New problem... I started
chatting, and then I bailed,
281
00:10:27,651 --> 00:10:28,950
and I'm pretty sure he saw the bubbles,
282
00:10:28,951 --> 00:10:31,356
and then I saw his bubbles,
and then they went away.
283
00:10:31,419 --> 00:10:33,191
So... please help me.
284
00:10:34,419 --> 00:10:36,208
I mean, he should pay, right?
285
00:10:36,209 --> 00:10:38,458
Yeah. He should be able
to take care of a woman.
286
00:10:38,459 --> 00:10:39,958
Well, you know, I don't want that!
287
00:10:39,959 --> 00:10:41,288
I don't want him to take care of me.
288
00:10:41,289 --> 00:10:42,668
I'm an independent woman!
289
00:10:42,669 --> 00:10:44,208
I am, right?
290
00:10:44,209 --> 00:10:47,038
Zoey, just please tell me
what kind of woman I am!
291
00:10:47,039 --> 00:10:50,328
[Sighs]
292
00:10:50,329 --> 00:10:51,878
[Quietly] This is Diane.
293
00:10:51,879 --> 00:10:53,788
[Indistinct conversations,
music plays in distance]
294
00:10:53,789 --> 00:10:55,828
- Ah, hey, neighbor.
- [Chuckles]
295
00:10:55,829 --> 00:10:58,998
- How's everything?
- Uh, pretty loud, don't you think?
296
00:10:58,999 --> 00:11:01,088
So, when did the cops say
they were gonna get here?
297
00:11:01,089 --> 00:11:04,628
Uh, they didn't...
because I didn't call them.
298
00:11:04,629 --> 00:11:07,088
Dre... we have to call them.
299
00:11:07,089 --> 00:11:10,038
I-I have to get up early
tomorrow for my Tinder date.
300
00:11:10,039 --> 00:11:12,748
No, just going hiking...
301
00:11:12,749 --> 00:11:14,878
and then we're gonna have sex. [Laughs]
302
00:11:14,879 --> 00:11:16,958
No, here, seriously, blow up the spot.
303
00:11:16,959 --> 00:11:20,088
You know you love to call
the police, Drop-A-Dime Dre.
304
00:11:20,089 --> 00:11:22,128
Yeah, drop the dime like it's hot!
305
00:11:22,129 --> 00:11:25,265
- Come on.
- What, you don't like free music?
306
00:11:25,290 --> 00:11:26,719
Oh...
307
00:11:26,744 --> 00:11:28,168
Oh, I got it, I got it. Right.
308
00:11:28,169 --> 00:11:30,462
Don't want to call the cops
because they're...
309
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,588
Because they're... ashy?
310
00:11:34,589 --> 00:11:36,748
- No! No.
- What?
311
00:11:36,749 --> 00:11:39,248
Because they're African-American Blacks.
312
00:11:39,249 --> 00:11:41,208
Okay, okay. All right, you're right.
313
00:11:41,209 --> 00:11:42,748
All right, I don't want
to call the cops on them
314
00:11:42,749 --> 00:11:45,788
- because they're Black.
- All right, I get it.
315
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:47,708
You grew up with them. Okay.
316
00:11:47,709 --> 00:11:50,708
- I got your back. I will call for you.
- No, you don't.
317
00:11:50,709 --> 00:11:52,458
When you call the cops on Black people,
318
00:11:52,459 --> 00:11:55,248
things can escalate quickly.
319
00:11:55,249 --> 00:11:57,038
Well, what... I'm... I'm just
supposed to do nothing?
320
00:11:57,039 --> 00:11:58,668
Yeah, you're not in danger.
321
00:11:58,669 --> 00:11:59,998
You're just feeling uncomfortable.
322
00:11:59,999 --> 00:12:02,328
And that's how you end up
in a viral video
323
00:12:02,329 --> 00:12:05,038
as the next Barbecue Becky.
324
00:12:05,039 --> 00:12:06,378
I cannot go viral.
325
00:12:06,379 --> 00:12:08,815
Those memes do nothing but zero in
326
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:12,877
on your weaknesses, and I'm...
I'm mostly weaknesses.
327
00:12:12,902 --> 00:12:14,902
- Good call.
- Uh-huh.
328
00:12:17,347 --> 00:12:18,913
Hey.
329
00:12:18,914 --> 00:12:21,793
Why aren't you dressed?
330
00:12:21,794 --> 00:12:24,462
Wyatt texted me, and I didn't
know how to respond.
331
00:12:24,487 --> 00:12:25,540
Oh.
332
00:12:25,565 --> 00:12:26,884
Zoey promised that she would help me,
333
00:12:26,909 --> 00:12:28,276
but I couldn't get in touch with her.
334
00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:29,948
Ah...
335
00:12:30,754 --> 00:12:33,032
Okay, well...
336
00:12:33,383 --> 00:12:34,882
what did you write back?
337
00:12:34,946 --> 00:12:38,155
I panicked and sent some random emojis
338
00:12:38,156 --> 00:12:39,865
that ended with a New Zealand flag
339
00:12:39,866 --> 00:12:41,945
and a Steve Harvey mustache.
340
00:12:41,946 --> 00:12:43,245
Oh. [Chuckles]
341
00:12:43,246 --> 00:12:44,695
[Sighs]
342
00:12:44,696 --> 00:12:46,785
He freaked out and bailed on ice cream.
343
00:12:46,786 --> 00:12:48,406
Oh, honey.
344
00:12:50,746 --> 00:12:52,615
Oh.
345
00:12:52,616 --> 00:12:54,245
- Oh, sweetheart.
- [Sighs]
346
00:12:54,386 --> 00:12:55,886
It's okay.
347
00:12:58,576 --> 00:13:00,325
What does it mean
348
00:13:00,326 --> 00:13:02,786
when you don't want to
seek revenge on someone?
349
00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:08,695
It means that you liked them...
350
00:13:08,696 --> 00:13:09,986
a lot.
351
00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:15,615
It's okay, sweetheart.
352
00:13:15,616 --> 00:13:21,785
[Music playing in distance]
353
00:13:21,786 --> 00:13:23,695
- Uh, Dad?
- Hmm?
354
00:13:23,696 --> 00:13:24,945
What are we doing?
355
00:13:24,946 --> 00:13:27,695
Devante can't go down
with all this music,
356
00:13:27,696 --> 00:13:31,825
and he's a little too young
for all the explicit lyrics.
357
00:13:31,826 --> 00:13:34,405
Look, he's barely a year old, all right?
358
00:13:34,406 --> 00:13:36,285
He doesn't even understand the words.
359
00:13:36,286 --> 00:13:38,155
Oh, all right. So I guess you're fine
360
00:13:38,156 --> 00:13:44,035
with his first words being...
the A-word... or the B-word.
361
00:13:44,036 --> 00:13:46,155
Or "skeet skeet skeet."
362
00:13:46,156 --> 00:13:48,035
Do something about this.
363
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:50,035
Look, you got two options.
364
00:13:50,036 --> 00:13:52,035
One, you could do nothing.
365
00:13:52,036 --> 00:13:53,905
Two, if you was a man,
366
00:13:53,906 --> 00:13:55,865
you'd go out there
and you'd talk to them.
367
00:13:55,866 --> 00:13:56,986
I'm a man.
368
00:13:58,656 --> 00:14:00,075
- You know what?
- [Tablet thuds]
369
00:14:00,076 --> 00:14:03,905
And I will go over there and I
will talk to him, man to man.
370
00:14:03,906 --> 00:14:05,245
Go ahead.
371
00:14:05,246 --> 00:14:08,785
Man to many men...
372
00:14:08,786 --> 00:14:11,115
who have been drinking.
373
00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:12,745
You know what? Uh...
374
00:14:12,746 --> 00:14:15,325
maybe I'll take the dog with me.
375
00:14:15,326 --> 00:14:18,325
Damn it, why couldn't I have a pit bull?
376
00:14:18,326 --> 00:14:20,155
Stop watching that baby so much.
377
00:14:20,156 --> 00:14:21,945
It's weird.
378
00:14:21,946 --> 00:14:28,115
379
00:14:28,116 --> 00:14:29,945
Uh, hey! Hey, uh...
380
00:14:29,946 --> 00:14:31,195
Is that that, uh...
381
00:14:31,196 --> 00:14:32,746
That that new Lil Uzi Vert?
382
00:14:34,826 --> 00:14:36,155
You know, uh...
383
00:14:36,156 --> 00:14:40,195
Y'all having, uh, kind of
like a... front-yard thing.
384
00:14:40,196 --> 00:14:43,655
We're kind of a backyard-thing
kind of neighborhood.
385
00:14:43,656 --> 00:14:45,035
But it's all good.
386
00:14:45,036 --> 00:14:46,655
I'm Dre.
387
00:14:46,656 --> 00:14:48,825
I'm Dre. I'm, um, from up the block.
388
00:14:48,826 --> 00:14:50,485
What up, sir?
389
00:14:50,486 --> 00:14:51,785
You know, I just...
390
00:14:51,786 --> 00:14:52,985
You know, I just wanted to, uh,
391
00:14:52,986 --> 00:14:54,365
just give you the heads-up.
392
00:14:54,366 --> 00:14:56,945
You know, some of the neighbors,
they be trippin',
393
00:14:56,946 --> 00:14:58,485
you know, 'cause... 'cause your music...
394
00:14:58,486 --> 00:15:01,155
your music's kind of loud.
395
00:15:01,156 --> 00:15:02,745
Uh, d... Damn, man.
396
00:15:02,746 --> 00:15:04,945
We... We weren't even
thinking about it, man.
397
00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:08,745
Uh... yo, go tell Sean to
turn it down some, all right?
398
00:15:08,746 --> 00:15:10,115
Huh.
399
00:15:10,116 --> 00:15:12,115
All right. Okay.
400
00:15:12,116 --> 00:15:14,195
You know, appreciate this.
401
00:15:14,196 --> 00:15:15,825
- Edwin.
- Oh, okay.
402
00:15:15,826 --> 00:15:17,285
- What's up, Edwin?
- We're just in town for the weekend...
403
00:15:17,286 --> 00:15:19,825
- pre-gaming before we hit the club.
- Which club?
404
00:15:19,826 --> 00:15:21,905
You know, I might...
I might hit it, too.
405
00:15:21,906 --> 00:15:23,785
[Chuckles]
406
00:15:23,786 --> 00:15:25,615
Okay. All right.
407
00:15:25,616 --> 00:15:27,865
Hey, uh, I just want to, uh...
408
00:15:27,866 --> 00:15:30,405
thank you guys, you know,
for being, uh, so cool.
409
00:15:30,406 --> 00:15:31,652
Appreciate it. Appreciate it.
410
00:15:31,677 --> 00:15:32,933
Yeah, all right. Wasn't so damn hard.
411
00:15:32,958 --> 00:15:34,645
I didn't even need that damn dog.
412
00:15:34,670 --> 00:15:35,879
[Police siren chirps]
413
00:15:35,904 --> 00:15:37,814
[Sirens wailing]
414
00:15:40,076 --> 00:15:41,325
All right.
415
00:15:41,326 --> 00:15:43,042
Shake that... speed up
416
00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:45,298
- No one moves.
- Oh, okay.
417
00:15:45,323 --> 00:15:46,759
Breathe in, breathe out
418
00:15:46,784 --> 00:15:48,245
Shake that... speed up
419
00:15:48,270 --> 00:15:50,206
Go fast, slow down
420
00:15:54,224 --> 00:15:56,683
[Police radio chatter]
421
00:15:56,708 --> 00:15:58,837
Hey, wait, Dre.
422
00:15:58,862 --> 00:16:00,231
What did you do?
423
00:16:00,256 --> 00:16:01,965
What did you do?!
424
00:16:01,966 --> 00:16:04,215
I told you, "Don't call the cops."
425
00:16:04,216 --> 00:16:05,835
I couldn't have called them!
426
00:16:05,836 --> 00:16:09,005
Whenever I smoke my cataract medicine,
427
00:16:09,006 --> 00:16:11,756
I always lock my phone in
the safe because of last time.
428
00:16:12,886 --> 00:16:14,215
Dad, what's going on?
429
00:16:14,216 --> 00:16:15,965
Son, just go back in
the house, all right?
430
00:16:15,966 --> 00:16:18,465
Somebody called the police,
and we have to work this out.
431
00:16:18,466 --> 00:16:20,215
Okay, just go home.
432
00:16:20,216 --> 00:16:23,675
It wasn't "somebody."
433
00:16:23,676 --> 00:16:25,335
I-I called the police.
434
00:16:25,336 --> 00:16:31,135
435
00:16:31,136 --> 00:16:32,835
[Siren chirps]
436
00:16:32,836 --> 00:16:36,925
437
00:16:36,926 --> 00:16:39,135
Why would you call the police?
438
00:16:39,136 --> 00:16:41,215
I-I just did what we do
when the neighbors are loud.
439
00:16:41,216 --> 00:16:43,505
But did you know that they were Black?
440
00:16:43,506 --> 00:16:44,675
Describe them?
441
00:16:44,676 --> 00:16:48,505
Uh... Black, Black, Black, Black.
442
00:16:48,506 --> 00:16:49,835
Yeah, all Black.
443
00:16:49,836 --> 00:16:51,385
Is that how you said it?!
444
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:54,255
But you said it's okay to call
the cops if you're a homeowner.
445
00:16:54,256 --> 00:16:56,925
[Sighs] Man.
446
00:16:56,926 --> 00:16:58,636
We really need to talk. Come on.
447
00:17:01,796 --> 00:17:03,925
ZOEY: This lobster roll is insane.
448
00:17:03,926 --> 00:17:06,675
I promise to never eat at
a place without wheels again.
449
00:17:06,676 --> 00:17:09,755
Seafood in a hot truck
3,000 miles from Maine.
450
00:17:09,756 --> 00:17:11,175
Mm, what could go wrong?
451
00:17:11,176 --> 00:17:13,335
Right?
452
00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:14,885
Good evening, Zoey.
453
00:17:14,886 --> 00:17:16,795
- Mom.
- Mm-hmm.
454
00:17:16,796 --> 00:17:18,215
Um... w-wow.
455
00:17:18,216 --> 00:17:20,545
You're...
456
00:17:20,546 --> 00:17:21,885
You're at a place I'm at.
457
00:17:21,886 --> 00:17:24,005
Diane has been trying to
get in touch with you.
458
00:17:24,006 --> 00:17:25,925
Oh, I was gonna call her back.
459
00:17:25,926 --> 00:17:27,385
Do you understand what happened tonight?
460
00:17:27,386 --> 00:17:28,465
What?
461
00:17:28,466 --> 00:17:30,335
Wyatt canceled.
462
00:17:30,336 --> 00:17:32,295
He canceled ice cream with Diane.
463
00:17:32,296 --> 00:17:35,175
Nooooo...
464
00:17:35,176 --> 00:17:37,045
Who's Wyatt?
465
00:17:37,046 --> 00:17:38,096
Go away.
466
00:17:45,006 --> 00:17:46,635
Okay, it... it's not that big of a deal.
467
00:17:46,636 --> 00:17:48,045
I figured she had it handled.
468
00:17:48,046 --> 00:17:51,295
She chose you to be there for her,
469
00:17:51,296 --> 00:17:53,505
and you promised that you would be.
470
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:55,005
You're just coming down on me
471
00:17:55,006 --> 00:17:57,135
because she wants my help and not yours.
472
00:17:57,136 --> 00:17:59,215
Okay, I get that you're
in college now, Zoey,
473
00:17:59,216 --> 00:18:01,545
and you can pop by the house
and pick up clothes
474
00:18:01,546 --> 00:18:03,595
and drop your little smart-ass
comments whenever you want.
475
00:18:03,596 --> 00:18:06,215
Fine. But you cannot fly in
and out of your sister's life.
476
00:18:06,216 --> 00:18:07,295
Do you hear me?
477
00:18:07,296 --> 00:18:08,675
She's 13 years old!
478
00:18:08,676 --> 00:18:11,255
That was her first date! Zoey!
479
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:13,385
You have a responsibility
to be there for her
480
00:18:13,386 --> 00:18:16,885
and treat her better than some
skirt that you just left behind!
481
00:18:16,886 --> 00:18:19,135
That's what you did!
482
00:18:19,136 --> 00:18:21,715
Um, Dr. Johnson?
483
00:18:21,716 --> 00:18:24,295
I'm so sorry about before.
484
00:18:24,296 --> 00:18:27,005
I brought you some tots.
485
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:30,295
Thank you, and... gimme
the lobster roll.
486
00:18:30,296 --> 00:18:31,636
Oh, but I...
487
00:18:33,796 --> 00:18:36,135
JACK: So, you're mad at me
for calling the cops?
488
00:18:36,136 --> 00:18:37,795
Look...
489
00:18:37,796 --> 00:18:39,215
you know, I should've
made it clear to you
490
00:18:39,216 --> 00:18:41,715
that we're not just homeowners.
491
00:18:41,716 --> 00:18:44,175
We're Black homeowners,
and because we're Black,
492
00:18:44,176 --> 00:18:47,255
we have to look at things
through kind of a dual lens.
493
00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:49,755
You know, we need to think
about every situation
494
00:18:49,756 --> 00:18:52,045
and how it should go normally,
495
00:18:52,046 --> 00:18:55,135
and how it could go 'cause we're Black.
496
00:18:55,136 --> 00:18:59,425
Like, being asked to sit on the
curb while they checked your ID.
497
00:18:59,426 --> 00:19:01,715
They didn't ask any of
the white people to do that.
498
00:19:01,716 --> 00:19:05,215
- Mnh-mnh.
- Yeah, it's different for us, baby boy.
499
00:19:05,216 --> 00:19:07,175
It's like those two brothers
that were handcuffed
500
00:19:07,176 --> 00:19:09,215
while waiting for a meeting
at Starbucks.
501
00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:11,175
Or that Ivy League student
502
00:19:11,176 --> 00:19:13,595
who was harassed for
napping in a common area.
503
00:19:13,596 --> 00:19:16,215
- Those were all somebody's kids.
- Just like you.
504
00:19:16,216 --> 00:19:18,425
And it makes me sick to think
505
00:19:18,426 --> 00:19:20,295
that someone would call
the police on you
506
00:19:20,296 --> 00:19:22,715
just because they thought
you didn't belong there
507
00:19:22,716 --> 00:19:24,675
- because of the color of your skin.
- Mm-hmm.
508
00:19:24,676 --> 00:19:27,255
And it scares me to think
of what could happen.
509
00:19:27,256 --> 00:19:29,095
See, calling the police on Black people
510
00:19:29,096 --> 00:19:31,425
ain't nothing to play with.
511
00:19:31,426 --> 00:19:33,466
Yeah, I-I get it now.
512
00:19:35,046 --> 00:19:36,965
But can I still call
the cops on white people?
513
00:19:36,966 --> 00:19:38,885
Can't say yes, but I won't say no.
514
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:43,255
515
00:19:43,256 --> 00:19:44,925
I still can't believe it.
516
00:19:44,926 --> 00:19:46,755
- Hmm?
- One second, Diane's small enough
517
00:19:46,756 --> 00:19:48,635
to be swaddled in the palm of my hand,
518
00:19:48,636 --> 00:19:50,835
and next thing you know,
519
00:19:50,836 --> 00:19:52,715
she's talking about her first date.
520
00:19:52,716 --> 00:19:55,255
Well... I'm still a little shook
521
00:19:55,256 --> 00:19:57,885
that I'm having one-on-one race
conversations with Jack.
522
00:19:57,910 --> 00:19:59,017
Mm.
523
00:19:59,042 --> 00:20:01,385
- The twins are growing up, babe.
- Mm-hmm.
524
00:20:01,386 --> 00:20:03,715
- With Zoey and Junior...
- Mm-hmm.
525
00:20:03,716 --> 00:20:06,005
...we can get through this
with the twins.
526
00:20:06,006 --> 00:20:08,045
Now, good thing we don't
have to do that again.
527
00:20:08,046 --> 00:20:09,795
[Laughs] Amen.
528
00:20:09,796 --> 00:20:11,707
[Devante cries]
529
00:20:11,732 --> 00:20:13,925
- [Whispering] Oh, my God...
- Ah.
530
00:20:13,926 --> 00:20:16,486
Why do we keep forgetting about Devante?
531
00:20:16,511 --> 00:20:17,965
No, no, it's fine, though. It's fine.
532
00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:19,505
[Whispering] Junior's got it.
533
00:20:19,506 --> 00:20:21,505
- That's weird.
- [Crying continues]
534
00:20:21,506 --> 00:20:24,005
JUNIOR: I'm coming, Devante!
535
00:20:24,006 --> 00:20:25,295
Yeah, it's weird.
536
00:20:25,296 --> 00:20:26,506
[Crying continues]
537
00:20:29,414 --> 00:20:31,375
You know, next time,
when I say I'll be there,
538
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,407
I'll actually be there. I promise.
539
00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:36,505
So, what are we doing about
the whole Wyatt situation?
540
00:20:36,506 --> 00:20:40,465
Well, if he can't accept me for
my Steve Harvey mustache emoji,
541
00:20:40,466 --> 00:20:43,255
then he doesn't deserve me
at my dancing lady emoji.
542
00:20:43,256 --> 00:20:44,947
- Boom.
- I'm out on Wyatt.
543
00:20:44,972 --> 00:20:47,545
- [Chuckles] Tell it.
- [Slurping]
544
00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,255
[Exhales sharply]
545
00:20:50,432 --> 00:20:53,521
That name... Wyatt...
546
00:20:53,546 --> 00:20:55,095
It's a pretty cool throwback name, huh?
547
00:20:55,096 --> 00:20:56,595
Junior, that's not what we're doing.
548
00:20:56,596 --> 00:20:58,255
- No.
- We're the other way.
549
00:20:58,256 --> 00:20:59,835
Why are you even here?
550
00:20:59,836 --> 00:21:03,525
Oh, well, you know, I'm still
doing the whole gap-year thing.
551
00:21:03,550 --> 00:21:06,309
- Yep.
- All my friends are away at college.
552
00:21:06,334 --> 00:21:08,373
I'm a bit lonely.
553
00:21:08,374 --> 00:21:10,203
Sweetheart...
554
00:21:10,204 --> 00:21:13,703
No, it's all good
'cause we've got each other.
555
00:21:13,704 --> 00:21:16,954
And there is nothing weird about this.
556
00:21:20,994 --> 00:21:22,414
[Slurping]
557
00:21:22,499 --> 00:21:27,499
558
00:21:27,549 --> 00:21:32,099
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