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1
00:00:05,771 --> 00:00:07,423
Well, I guess this is it.
2
00:00:07,433 --> 00:00:08,632
[Sighs]
3
00:00:08,701 --> 00:00:09,767
[Voice breaking] I promise...
4
00:00:09,869 --> 00:00:11,235
I'll never forget you.
5
00:00:11,304 --> 00:00:14,471
I'd hope not. Dad,
it's a two-day orientation.
6
00:00:14,573 --> 00:00:16,507
Okay, maybe we could
circle the block again?
7
00:00:16,575 --> 00:00:19,243
Maybe we can find a Shake Shack?
I hear that stuff is great.
8
00:00:19,312 --> 00:00:21,011
- Dad...
- Okay, you're right! You're right.
9
00:00:21,113 --> 00:00:23,414
- It's just two days.
- [Chuckles] Yeah.
10
00:00:23,516 --> 00:00:24,915
- Go!
- Thank you...
11
00:00:24,984 --> 00:00:26,450
Do it quick, get it over with!
12
00:00:26,519 --> 00:00:28,281
Just rip the Band-Aid off!
13
00:00:28,291 --> 00:00:30,674
Drug boy said it's showtime
14
00:00:30,761 --> 00:00:32,728
Dre: And like that,
I saw the little girl
15
00:00:32,738 --> 00:00:35,898
whose first footsteps gave
me my first tears of joy
16
00:00:35,967 --> 00:00:37,433
begin to take her first steps into...
17
00:00:37,535 --> 00:00:38,567
Zoey: Dad, enough!
18
00:00:38,636 --> 00:00:40,002
I can tell my own story.
19
00:00:40,104 --> 00:00:41,437
Dre: [Voice breaking] Fine.
20
00:00:41,506 --> 00:00:43,205
Just like that, I was off.
21
00:00:43,274 --> 00:00:44,840
I took my first steps into the new...
22
00:00:44,942 --> 00:00:46,909
[Horn honks]
23
00:00:47,011 --> 00:00:48,944
Spread your wings, baby bird!
24
00:00:49,046 --> 00:00:50,913
We're filled with so much hatred
25
00:00:50,982 --> 00:00:53,649
- Spread your wings!
-
The kids don't stand a chance
26
00:00:53,718 --> 00:00:55,451
God, please give me the strength.
27
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,054
[ Beeps] Where's
the nearest Shake Shack?
28
00:00:58,064 --> 00:00:59,930
Siri: Searching for Shake Shack nearby.
29
00:00:59,999 --> 00:01:02,599
Zoey: [Clears throat] Okay,
uh... as I was saying.
30
00:01:02,702 --> 00:01:05,302
I took my first steps into a new world.
31
00:01:05,371 --> 00:01:08,605
Sometimes, it's hard to grow
32
00:01:08,708 --> 00:01:11,942
While living in fear of the unknown
33
00:01:12,044 --> 00:01:14,111
College... so many new faces,
34
00:01:14,213 --> 00:01:15,846
so many new experiences.
35
00:01:15,915 --> 00:01:19,016
When no lo-ove is in his heart
36
00:01:19,118 --> 00:01:21,352
We're trapped inside the matrix
37
00:01:21,420 --> 00:01:23,520
Am I intimidated? [Scoffs] No!
38
00:01:23,622 --> 00:01:26,533
...forced to play our hand
39
00:01:26,543 --> 00:01:28,652
I'm gonna kill this thing.
40
00:01:28,996 --> 00:01:30,080
Watch.
41
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,229
The kids don't stand a chance
42
00:01:32,298 --> 00:01:36,877
Synced and corrected by johnyd13
~ www.addic7ed.com ~
43
00:01:37,303 --> 00:01:39,142
44
00:01:39,404 --> 00:01:40,804
So, there I was,
45
00:01:40,906 --> 00:01:42,672
laying in the middle of my campus rep,
46
00:01:42,774 --> 00:01:44,474
Marsha's, dorm room floor,
47
00:01:44,576 --> 00:01:46,509
crying my eyes out,
48
00:01:46,612 --> 00:01:48,378
feeling like my life was over.
49
00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:51,014
And she walked over to me,
rubbed me on my back,
50
00:01:51,116 --> 00:01:53,183
looked me right in my tear-filled eyes
51
00:01:53,285 --> 00:01:55,485
and said, "Stacy, don't worry.
52
00:01:55,587 --> 00:01:57,454
Everyone has HPV."
53
00:01:59,825 --> 00:02:01,891
That's when I knew I was home.
54
00:02:01,994 --> 00:02:03,126
Go Titans.
55
00:02:03,228 --> 00:02:05,495
56
00:02:11,737 --> 00:02:12,969
O-kay!
57
00:02:13,071 --> 00:02:15,338
Thank you, Stacy, for... that.
58
00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:16,406
[Clears throat]
59
00:02:16,508 --> 00:02:18,174
You know what else is communicable?
60
00:02:18,276 --> 00:02:20,343
School spirit! [Chuckles]
61
00:02:20,445 --> 00:02:21,411
Good afternoon, everyone.
62
00:02:21,513 --> 00:02:23,680
I'm Burt Parker, Dean of Students.
63
00:02:23,782 --> 00:02:25,649
Now, before you break off
into your tour groups,
64
00:02:25,751 --> 00:02:28,818
I'd like you to meet the
new president of Cal U,
65
00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:30,720
Jonathan Schock.
66
00:02:33,825 --> 00:02:35,959
Thank you for that heartfelt welcome,
67
00:02:36,061 --> 00:02:37,394
faculty member.
68
00:02:37,496 --> 00:02:38,762
It is an honor to welcome
69
00:02:38,864 --> 00:02:40,163
so many bright young minds here,
70
00:02:40,265 --> 00:02:42,365
to the campus of Cal U.
71
00:02:42,467 --> 00:02:44,601
And I'd like to extend a very special...
72
00:02:44,703 --> 00:02:46,936
"Konichiwa," "Cam cho,"
73
00:02:47,039 --> 00:02:49,706
"Bonjour," "Buenos Dias,"
74
00:02:49,808 --> 00:02:52,342
"Shalom," and "Assalamualaikum"
75
00:02:52,444 --> 00:02:54,878
to all our cash-paying foreign students.
76
00:02:54,980 --> 00:02:57,247
There will be a V.I.P. tour for you...
77
00:02:57,349 --> 00:02:58,281
and mugs.
78
00:02:58,383 --> 00:03:00,183
Go Titans.
79
00:03:00,285 --> 00:03:02,652
80
00:03:02,754 --> 00:03:05,522
Stacy: Okay, group B,
just introduce yourself
81
00:03:05,624 --> 00:03:07,190
and tell us how you'd
like to be identified.
82
00:03:07,292 --> 00:03:09,526
I'll go first... I'm Stacy.
83
00:03:09,628 --> 00:03:12,362
I'm a tri-racial gender-fluid
panoramic demisexual
84
00:03:12,464 --> 00:03:14,831
and my pronoun is "they."
85
00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:16,232
Who's next?
86
00:03:16,334 --> 00:03:18,334
Both: I need to use the bathroom.
87
00:03:18,437 --> 00:03:20,470
88
00:03:20,572 --> 00:03:23,707
Oh... my... God.
I had to get out of there.
89
00:03:23,809 --> 00:03:26,242
As soon as she started talking,
I was praying for a nosebleed.
90
00:03:26,344 --> 00:03:27,877
Yeah, or like a wardrobe malfunction.
91
00:03:27,979 --> 00:03:28,945
Or like a flash flood.
92
00:03:29,047 --> 00:03:30,246
Or the discovery of a dead body.
93
00:03:30,348 --> 00:03:31,448
Whoa.
94
00:03:31,550 --> 00:03:32,716
Can we start over?
95
00:03:32,818 --> 00:03:34,184
Can you just tell me your
name and nothing else?
96
00:03:34,286 --> 00:03:35,719
No pronouns, no sexual preferences,
97
00:03:35,821 --> 00:03:37,020
- none of that.
- Zoey.
98
00:03:37,122 --> 00:03:38,154
Miriam.
99
00:03:38,256 --> 00:03:39,322
Now if we actually become friends,
100
00:03:39,424 --> 00:03:40,623
you'll learn things about
my private life that
101
00:03:40,726 --> 00:03:42,292
you can go tell other
people behind my back.
102
00:03:42,394 --> 00:03:44,260
Right, like you're supposed to.
103
00:03:44,362 --> 00:03:46,730
Hi! I'm with the Social
Justice Dance Squad.
104
00:03:46,832 --> 00:03:48,832
Do you believe either
the cops and/or rhythm
105
00:03:48,934 --> 00:03:50,266
are gonna get you?
106
00:03:50,368 --> 00:03:52,068
Uh, we're just browsing.
You don't wanna...
107
00:03:52,170 --> 00:03:54,003
- Thank you.
- Okay.
108
00:03:54,106 --> 00:03:56,339
How many super-specific
groups do they need here?
109
00:03:56,441 --> 00:03:58,475
I know! Like, no offense to the...
110
00:03:58,577 --> 00:04:00,710
Vegan BBQ Society,
111
00:04:00,812 --> 00:04:02,512
but I'm not really the "joiner" type.
112
00:04:02,614 --> 00:04:03,913
113
00:04:04,015 --> 00:04:05,248
Excuse me, Queen.
114
00:04:05,350 --> 00:04:07,684
Would you be interested
in joining the BSU?
115
00:04:07,786 --> 00:04:09,586
Yes! Yes, I am. Yeah?
116
00:04:09,688 --> 00:04:10,653
As am I, King.
117
00:04:10,756 --> 00:04:12,522
- How you doin'?
- What is the BSU?
118
00:04:12,624 --> 00:04:13,490
[Chuckles] Uh....
119
00:04:13,592 --> 00:04:16,082
Drop science for her, please.
120
00:04:17,896 --> 00:04:19,162
Me? Oh, well.
121
00:04:19,231 --> 00:04:21,364
The BSU stands for the...
122
00:04:21,433 --> 00:04:23,533
uh, uh, the, uh... you know, the...
123
00:04:23,602 --> 00:04:24,801
The Black... Black...
124
00:04:24,870 --> 00:04:26,002
Student... Student...
125
00:04:26,104 --> 00:04:27,070
Union. Union!
126
00:04:27,172 --> 00:04:29,405
Black Student Union... science dropped.
127
00:04:29,508 --> 00:04:31,241
I mean, come on, Miriam.
This is basic stuff.
128
00:04:31,309 --> 00:04:33,143
I mean, how cray would
it be for me not to know
129
00:04:33,245 --> 00:04:35,933
what the Black Student Union is?
130
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,243
Right, because you're... Y-You're black.
131
00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:39,578
I am.
132
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,279
I'm very black.
133
00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:42,547
You what would really be crazy?
134
00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:44,716
If someone thought that you
were a breeding representative
135
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:45,717
of the Beesu,
136
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,519
a new hybrid of Chinese wrinkled dog,
137
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,788
which is a mixture of the
bijon and the shitzu.
138
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:51,356
But you're not, correct?
139
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:52,624
Charlie?
140
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:54,326
Wait. You know Professor Telphy?
141
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:56,061
- "Professor"?
- Yeah.
142
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:58,496
W-what is happening right now?
Why are you here?
143
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,832
I came out to the Club Fair to
pick up some high-interest,
144
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,334
low-limit credit-card applications
145
00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:04,069
so I could purchase a pair of silk boots
146
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,737
I saw your father wear once.
147
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:07,005
Mm.
148
00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:09,006
Okay, ignoring that.
149
00:05:09,016 --> 00:05:11,583
Charlie, why are you physically present,
150
00:05:11,652 --> 00:05:14,553
here, today, at this college.
151
00:05:14,655 --> 00:05:17,189
Oh! I'm an adjunct
professor in marketing...
152
00:05:17,291 --> 00:05:19,491
Teach a class from 12:30 to 4:00 a.m.
153
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:20,725
Who takes classes that late?
154
00:05:20,794 --> 00:05:21,993
Mostly chronic insomniacs
155
00:05:22,062 --> 00:05:24,396
and recovering
methamphetamine addicts...
156
00:05:24,464 --> 00:05:26,031
who wanna get into marketing.
157
00:05:26,099 --> 00:05:28,767
Well, how do you do that
and work at Stevens & Lido?
158
00:05:28,869 --> 00:05:31,870
So with the Sleep Ease
pillow... [Snoring]
159
00:05:31,972 --> 00:05:33,305
you can sleep through anything.
160
00:05:33,373 --> 00:05:35,740
Outstanding work, Charles.
161
00:05:35,842 --> 00:05:38,210
The most important part is
that I'm legally allowed
162
00:05:38,312 --> 00:05:39,377
to be here.
163
00:05:39,479 --> 00:05:40,812
And I can use the showers.
164
00:05:40,914 --> 00:05:44,207
- Stacy: Zoey!
- Miriam! Hey!
165
00:05:44,217 --> 00:05:45,817
Okay, well, we gotta go.
166
00:05:45,919 --> 00:05:47,051
All right, hey, well, let me know
167
00:05:47,153 --> 00:05:48,319
if you're interested in the BSU.
168
00:05:48,421 --> 00:05:49,787
Both: Oh, so interested.
169
00:05:49,889 --> 00:05:51,856
Or if you wanna take a 1:00 a.m. class
170
00:05:51,925 --> 00:05:55,426
on brand strategy with a
bunch of retired prostitutes.
171
00:05:55,528 --> 00:05:56,794
I'm her dad's boss.
172
00:05:56,896 --> 00:05:58,879
- Yeah?
- Yes.
173
00:05:58,889 --> 00:06:01,256
Guys, girls, hims, hers.
174
00:06:01,358 --> 00:06:02,624
Theys.
175
00:06:02,693 --> 00:06:04,592
So for the fall,
you can find your roommate
176
00:06:04,661 --> 00:06:07,562
on the official housing
list we just posted.
177
00:06:07,631 --> 00:06:08,863
Oh, we should see what
dorm we're living in.
178
00:06:08,965 --> 00:06:11,166
Maybe we could be roomies in the fall.
179
00:06:11,234 --> 00:06:13,001
And if not, we can find our assigned
roommates and bully them into switching
180
00:06:13,103 --> 00:06:14,302
- because we have to live together.
- Oh, my God.
181
00:06:14,371 --> 00:06:17,839
I was thinking the same thing.
I love bullying.
182
00:06:17,908 --> 00:06:19,240
I will pretend to have anger issues,
183
00:06:19,343 --> 00:06:20,442
and you tell them you have IBS.
184
00:06:20,544 --> 00:06:22,310
[Chuckles softly]
185
00:06:22,379 --> 00:06:25,046
Were you really serious
about joining the BSU?
186
00:06:25,148 --> 00:06:27,749
I don't know. But I was very
serious about how cute he was.
187
00:06:27,818 --> 00:06:29,117
- He was so cute.
- Oh, my God.
188
00:06:29,219 --> 00:06:30,452
But I'm looking at this campus catalog
189
00:06:30,554 --> 00:06:32,654
and the BSU meets, like,
three times a year.
190
00:06:32,756 --> 00:06:34,422
Ugh! That's basically a cult.
191
00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:36,024
[Scoffs] No, thank you.
192
00:06:36,126 --> 00:06:37,325
Here I am.
193
00:06:37,427 --> 00:06:39,527
Prepare to be body-shamed
into a room transfer...
194
00:06:39,629 --> 00:06:41,129
Kristin Papadakas.
195
00:06:41,231 --> 00:06:42,130
- [Both laughing]
- Wait.
196
00:06:42,232 --> 00:06:43,865
Ooh. Uh...
197
00:06:43,967 --> 00:06:45,667
Stacy, hey! I don't see my name.
198
00:06:45,769 --> 00:06:47,102
Stacey: Don't worry...
As long as your parents
199
00:06:47,204 --> 00:06:48,570
turned in your housing form on time,
200
00:06:48,672 --> 00:06:49,671
you'll be fine.
201
00:06:49,773 --> 00:06:51,272
Zoey: And with those simple words,
202
00:06:51,375 --> 00:06:52,307
I immediately knew...
203
00:06:52,409 --> 00:06:54,242
Bow! I'm stuck!
204
00:06:54,344 --> 00:06:55,777
I don't wanna die like this!
205
00:06:55,879 --> 00:06:57,312
Please, God, not like this!
206
00:06:57,414 --> 00:06:59,781
[Chuckles] ...I absolutely did not
207
00:06:59,883 --> 00:07:01,301
have housing.
208
00:07:04,398 --> 00:07:06,021
Yes, I'm sure, Mom.
209
00:07:06,031 --> 00:07:07,397
My name is not on here!
210
00:07:07,499 --> 00:07:09,800
- Rainbow: Zoey, calm down! Okay?
- What?
211
00:07:09,868 --> 00:07:11,535
I'm sure it's just a simple mistake.
212
00:07:11,603 --> 00:07:14,771
It is not a simple mistake.
This is that racist BS.
213
00:07:14,873 --> 00:07:15,906
Shut... Dre!
214
00:07:16,008 --> 00:07:18,308
Are you sure you sent in
Zoey's housing forms?
215
00:07:18,410 --> 00:07:20,143
- Don't do this, Bow.
- What?
216
00:07:20,153 --> 00:07:21,619
Not right now, okay?
217
00:07:21,687 --> 00:07:24,188
Because this is about Zoey
learning an important lesson
218
00:07:24,257 --> 00:07:26,323
that this is how we're
treated in the real world!
219
00:07:26,392 --> 00:07:27,992
Okay, no... Right, you're right.
Now, are you sure that
220
00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:30,127
you... handled it though?
221
00:07:30,229 --> 00:07:32,797
Yes, would you like me to
walk you through the steps?
222
00:07:32,899 --> 00:07:34,031
- Very much, I would.
- Okay.
223
00:07:34,133 --> 00:07:35,433
Dre: I got the paperwork...
224
00:07:35,501 --> 00:07:36,867
Housing application.
225
00:07:36,936 --> 00:07:38,102
Filled it out... No!
226
00:07:38,171 --> 00:07:39,804
Put it in an envelope,
227
00:07:39,906 --> 00:07:41,305
put a stamp on it,
228
00:07:41,374 --> 00:07:43,240
and was headed to the Post Office.
229
00:07:43,342 --> 00:07:44,775
Wha...?
230
00:07:44,877 --> 00:07:46,177
The McRib?
231
00:07:46,245 --> 00:07:48,379
And I know I dropped it
off at the Post Office
232
00:07:48,448 --> 00:07:52,268
because it was the same day
the McRib came... back.
233
00:07:52,278 --> 00:07:53,444
- Hmm.
- Oh, my God.
234
00:07:53,546 --> 00:07:55,779
235
00:07:55,848 --> 00:07:57,348
- But it was the McRib, Bow!
- Oh, wha...
236
00:07:57,450 --> 00:07:58,782
- The McRib!
- What?
237
00:07:58,884 --> 00:08:01,352
It disappears and
reappears when it wants,
238
00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:03,387
- like Pops!
- Zoey: Okay, great.
239
00:08:03,456 --> 00:08:05,422
I'm sure the Housing Department
will accept that
240
00:08:05,491 --> 00:08:06,590
as a reasonable answer.
241
00:08:06,659 --> 00:08:08,726
I'll just tell them the McRib was back!
242
00:08:08,828 --> 00:08:10,527
I'll handle this myself, thanks.
243
00:08:10,630 --> 00:08:12,162
Thanks for nothing.
244
00:08:12,231 --> 00:08:15,392
245
00:08:15,402 --> 00:08:16,434
- Schock.
- [Door closes]
246
00:08:16,536 --> 00:08:17,769
We've got a real problem.
247
00:08:17,838 --> 00:08:18,970
You're supposed to call the
president, "President."
248
00:08:19,072 --> 00:08:20,805
[Sighs] Okay. We've got a real problem.
249
00:08:20,907 --> 00:08:22,273
You're not gonna say it, are you?
250
00:08:22,342 --> 00:08:23,341
[Sighs]
251
00:08:23,410 --> 00:08:25,710
We may have a meningitis outbreak.
252
00:08:25,812 --> 00:08:27,458
Why does that concern me?
253
00:08:27,468 --> 00:08:28,501
You mean beside the fact
254
00:08:28,569 --> 00:08:30,069
that you're president of the University
255
00:08:30,138 --> 00:08:32,538
and everyone in the East
Dorm may need a spinal tap?
256
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,707
Will these spinal tapees
help me get $10 mil
257
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:35,808
for the new aquatic center, huh?
258
00:08:35,877 --> 00:08:37,776
I-I don't think it works like that.
259
00:08:37,845 --> 00:08:40,312
Well, Parker, what would
you do in this situation?
260
00:08:40,414 --> 00:08:41,914
Oh, wh... What would I do?
261
00:08:42,016 --> 00:08:43,048
Yes.
262
00:08:43,151 --> 00:08:44,483
You mean, if the search committee had
263
00:08:44,552 --> 00:08:46,652
placed value on my 30 years of academic
264
00:08:46,721 --> 00:08:48,254
and administrative
experience with students
265
00:08:48,356 --> 00:08:51,850
rather than your rocky tenure
as C.E.O. of Koo Koo Roo?
266
00:08:51,860 --> 00:08:54,327
I'll have you know,
people loved our mac 'n' cheese.
267
00:08:54,429 --> 00:08:55,695
Loved it.
268
00:08:55,764 --> 00:08:57,931
My idea. Yeah.
269
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,233
Well, I asked one of the students
270
00:09:00,302 --> 00:09:02,202
- to meet me here so...
- What?
271
00:09:02,304 --> 00:09:03,806
- You did what?
- Yeah.
272
00:09:03,816 --> 00:09:05,382
So you could hear them complain
273
00:09:05,484 --> 00:09:07,985
about the improvements they
want made to Hawkins Hall.
274
00:09:08,053 --> 00:09:10,253
- Hawkins?
- It's the black dorm.
275
00:09:10,356 --> 00:09:13,690
We have a black dorm here on campus?!
276
00:09:13,759 --> 00:09:17,561
It was in the 200-page
report about campus life
277
00:09:17,663 --> 00:09:18,929
I was forced to write for you.
278
00:09:19,031 --> 00:09:21,198
Please, just summarize it.
279
00:09:21,266 --> 00:09:23,834
Well, uh, unofficially,
the students have formed
280
00:09:23,902 --> 00:09:26,837
a Black dorm, an Asian dorm,
a Jewish dorm, a Muslim dorm,
281
00:09:26,939 --> 00:09:28,005
a little person's dorm...
282
00:09:28,073 --> 00:09:29,373
Well, that's actually
more of a bungalow.
283
00:09:29,441 --> 00:09:30,474
That's segregation!
284
00:09:30,542 --> 00:09:32,542
Why don't we just burn
the endowment now?
285
00:09:32,644 --> 00:09:34,678
I can't have investors thinking
286
00:09:34,747 --> 00:09:36,013
they're investing in "La La Land"
287
00:09:36,081 --> 00:09:38,593
and then three seconds later,
it's "Moonlight".
288
00:09:38,603 --> 00:09:40,503
- Quite a snafoo.
- [Knocking on door]
289
00:09:40,605 --> 00:09:42,005
President Schock,
I have a student out here
290
00:09:42,107 --> 00:09:44,707
who wants to see you
both about her housing.
291
00:09:44,810 --> 00:09:47,644
Dean Parker: Okay, she must
be the Hawkins Hall student.
292
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:49,279
Uh, send her in.
293
00:09:49,347 --> 00:09:50,980
We need to nip this in the bud, dude.
294
00:09:51,082 --> 00:09:52,215
Yes. Okay.
295
00:09:52,317 --> 00:09:54,951
This is Zoey Johnson.
296
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:57,320
Oh, uh... Hi.
297
00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,189
Please have a seat, Miss Johnson.
298
00:09:59,257 --> 00:10:00,869
- Okay.
- [Door closes]
299
00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:03,560
[Zoey clears throat]
300
00:10:03,662 --> 00:10:05,628
So...
301
00:10:05,697 --> 00:10:08,698
I-I'm here to talk to
you about my housing...
302
00:10:08,767 --> 00:10:11,592
I know why you're here.
He doesn't. I do.
303
00:10:11,602 --> 00:10:12,435
Yes, I do.
304
00:10:12,503 --> 00:10:13,969
- No, he doesn't.
- Yes, I do.
305
00:10:14,038 --> 00:10:15,971
And we are going to put a stop to it.
306
00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:17,773
Oh!
307
00:10:17,842 --> 00:10:20,576
You're putting a stop to
me not having a place?
308
00:10:20,678 --> 00:10:23,045
By "place," I think she means, "space."
309
00:10:23,114 --> 00:10:24,280
As in "safe space."
310
00:10:24,382 --> 00:10:25,548
It's a term the kids are using now
311
00:10:25,650 --> 00:10:27,583
for a place they can "be themselves."
312
00:10:27,685 --> 00:10:28,784
[Laughing] Stupid.
313
00:10:28,886 --> 00:10:30,753
Or... just live?
314
00:10:30,822 --> 00:10:35,577
We are not going to have a
segregated dorm, young lady.
315
00:10:35,587 --> 00:10:37,170
O-okay?
316
00:10:37,180 --> 00:10:39,513
That sounds right...
317
00:10:39,616 --> 00:10:41,349
for legal purposes.
318
00:10:41,451 --> 00:10:44,619
So now you agree?
319
00:10:44,721 --> 00:10:46,254
Yes...
320
00:10:46,356 --> 00:10:48,322
It feels safe to say
321
00:10:48,424 --> 00:10:51,592
I am firmly against segregation.
322
00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:53,928
Don't try to use reverse
psychology on me.
323
00:10:53,997 --> 00:10:56,197
I'm the guy who took down
Kenny Roger's roasters.
324
00:10:56,299 --> 00:10:57,632
- I'm not...
- Nice try.
325
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:58,766
- Nice catch.
- Thank you.
326
00:10:58,835 --> 00:10:59,834
You're welcome. Uh...
327
00:10:59,902 --> 00:11:01,302
- Then it's agreed?
- Wh... what's agreed?
328
00:11:01,371 --> 00:11:04,384
Effective immediately,
we will disband Hawkins Hall.
329
00:11:04,394 --> 00:11:07,662
Oh, okay. Uh... so...
So where will I live?
330
00:11:07,764 --> 00:11:10,131
[Sternly] With everyone else.
331
00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:12,033
Really? Oh! Okay.
332
00:11:12,135 --> 00:11:13,501
That's great. Thank you.
333
00:11:13,603 --> 00:11:15,136
- Thank you.
- Hi. Thank you.
334
00:11:16,940 --> 00:11:18,807
Zoey: I did not expect
it to go this well.
335
00:11:18,909 --> 00:11:19,974
Bye.
336
00:11:20,076 --> 00:11:21,776
[Door closes]
337
00:11:21,845 --> 00:11:24,045
Parker, that's how you do it.
338
00:11:24,114 --> 00:11:25,480
I'll be honest.
339
00:11:25,582 --> 00:11:28,776
There's a good chance
she has meningitis.
340
00:11:28,786 --> 00:11:31,020
So, I was killing it at college.
341
00:11:31,122 --> 00:11:32,254
No surprise there.
342
00:11:32,323 --> 00:11:33,188
Oh, hey!
343
00:11:33,291 --> 00:11:34,089
How'd it go?
344
00:11:34,191 --> 00:11:35,257
Great. Cool.
345
00:11:35,359 --> 00:11:37,259
Yo! What are you guys doin'?
346
00:11:37,361 --> 00:11:38,460
You guys wanna come check out the dorms?
347
00:11:38,529 --> 00:11:40,056
- Yeah, I'd go anywhere with you.
- What?
348
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,397
- Huh?
- Whoa.
349
00:11:43,167 --> 00:11:45,067
Uhhh, I mean...
350
00:11:45,169 --> 00:11:46,969
It's... It's fine. Whatever.
351
00:11:47,038 --> 00:11:48,871
Okay, well it's... Let's do it.
352
00:11:48,973 --> 00:11:50,606
That way. Okay. [Sighing]
353
00:11:50,708 --> 00:11:51,940
Why didn't you stop me?
354
00:11:52,043 --> 00:11:53,776
I didn't want to.
355
00:11:53,844 --> 00:11:55,077
It was funny.
356
00:11:55,179 --> 00:11:56,578
[Migos' "Bad and Boujee" plays]
357
00:11:56,681 --> 00:11:57,746
Hey!
358
00:11:57,815 --> 00:11:59,381
[Rapping]
Raindrop, drop top
359
00:11:59,483 --> 00:12:01,717
Smokin' and cookin' the hotbox
360
00:12:01,819 --> 00:12:03,352
...on your... she a thot, thot, thot
361
00:12:03,421 --> 00:12:05,220
Cookin' up... in the crockpot
362
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:06,989
We came from nothin' to somethin'
363
00:12:07,091 --> 00:12:08,557
I don't trust nobody,
grip the trigger
364
00:12:08,659 --> 00:12:10,793
Call up the gang,
and they come and get you
365
00:12:10,861 --> 00:12:12,428
Cry me a river, give you a tissue
366
00:12:12,530 --> 00:12:14,063
It's bad and boujee
367
00:12:14,165 --> 00:12:16,758
Cookin' up... with an Uzi
368
00:12:16,768 --> 00:12:19,169
This is where you live?
This is incredible.
369
00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:20,904
This is the center of the diaspora.
370
00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:23,006
Angela Davis, June Jordan,
James Baldwin...
371
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:24,174
Some of our best and brightest
372
00:12:24,242 --> 00:12:25,442
have roamed the halls of Hawkins.
373
00:12:25,544 --> 00:12:27,277
Your friends sound awesome.
374
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:28,578
My friends?
375
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:30,080
- Is she serious?
- Hold on. Hawkins?
376
00:12:30,148 --> 00:12:32,282
Oh, God. This is the segregated dorm.
377
00:12:32,384 --> 00:12:33,783
I wouldn't call it segregated, but...
378
00:12:33,885 --> 00:12:36,431
- No, the Black dorm.
- Well, yeah.
379
00:12:36,441 --> 00:12:37,941
- I guess.
- [Sighing] Oh, God.
380
00:12:38,009 --> 00:12:40,210
This is what Schock was
talking about earlier.
381
00:12:40,278 --> 00:12:42,912
You talked to Schock... about Hawkins?
382
00:12:42,981 --> 00:12:44,047
I mean, I tried to talk to him earlier,
383
00:12:44,149 --> 00:12:45,482
but they said he was
with another student.
384
00:12:45,584 --> 00:12:46,850
Guess that was me.
385
00:12:46,918 --> 00:12:48,651
Okay. Well, what'd he say?
386
00:12:50,755 --> 00:12:54,090
He said that he, maybe,
might want to shut it down.
387
00:12:54,192 --> 00:12:55,291
He said what?
388
00:12:55,393 --> 00:12:56,693
[Whispering] He might
wanna shut it down.
389
00:12:56,761 --> 00:12:58,728
Is she okay? Why are
you talking like this?
390
00:12:58,830 --> 00:13:00,263
Shut it down.
391
00:13:00,365 --> 00:13:02,699
Shut it down? Sh... What? No!
392
00:13:02,767 --> 00:13:04,767
I was just gonna ask him to
get our upstairs toilet fixed.
393
00:13:04,870 --> 00:13:07,670
And now he wants to close us?
This can't be... okay.
394
00:13:07,772 --> 00:13:10,065
Well, what did you say?
What'd you tell him?
395
00:13:10,075 --> 00:13:11,207
[Lips smack]
396
00:13:11,276 --> 00:13:13,943
Oh. Okay! If I'm being honest...
397
00:13:14,045 --> 00:13:17,357
I think I might've said, "great,"
398
00:13:17,367 --> 00:13:20,635
and that I was "firmly
against segregation."
399
00:13:20,703 --> 00:13:22,403
But, you know,
in any other circumstance,
400
00:13:22,472 --> 00:13:23,971
that would've been the right answer.
401
00:13:24,073 --> 00:13:25,506
Wow! You know,
when... when you showed up
402
00:13:25,608 --> 00:13:27,575
with this white chick... sorry,
but you are white...
403
00:13:27,677 --> 00:13:29,210
And you didn't know what the BSU was,
404
00:13:29,279 --> 00:13:31,245
I could kinda tell you weren't
down, you know, I get it.
405
00:13:31,314 --> 00:13:33,514
But I did not think that
you were against us.
406
00:13:33,583 --> 00:13:34,549
Um, I'm Jewish,
407
00:13:34,651 --> 00:13:35,816
and I've actually kissed two black dudes
408
00:13:35,885 --> 00:13:37,151
- and let one do top stuff, so...
- Please stop.
409
00:13:37,253 --> 00:13:38,219
Gotcha.
410
00:13:38,321 --> 00:13:39,854
Okay, I-I'm so sorry.
411
00:13:39,956 --> 00:13:43,024
This is all just one
big misunderstanding.
412
00:13:43,126 --> 00:13:44,458
I had no idea...
413
00:13:44,561 --> 00:13:46,260
[As Zoey] Of course you had no idea,
414
00:13:46,362 --> 00:13:47,495
[normal voice] because
you're just some mixed chick
415
00:13:47,564 --> 00:13:48,963
from, like, Encino, or...
416
00:13:49,065 --> 00:13:52,542
Only my mom is mixed,
and I'm from Sherman Oaks.
417
00:13:52,552 --> 00:13:53,484
You know what? It doesn't matter.
418
00:13:53,587 --> 00:13:55,486
This always happens to us, right?
419
00:13:55,555 --> 00:13:57,689
Schock wants to shut us down?
We'll see about that.
420
00:13:57,791 --> 00:13:59,624
We're not going down
without a fight. Why?
421
00:13:59,726 --> 00:14:02,594
My dad's brother knows
Al Sharpton's permist...
422
00:14:02,696 --> 00:14:03,628
okay?
423
00:14:03,730 --> 00:14:05,263
I'm talking about his perm guy.
424
00:14:05,365 --> 00:14:07,131
The guy that hits him with the...
425
00:14:07,233 --> 00:14:08,566
Makes it straight.
426
00:14:08,668 --> 00:14:12,036
But we know him and he will...
We can reach him if need...
427
00:14:12,138 --> 00:14:13,571
It's on, is what I'm saying.
428
00:14:13,673 --> 00:14:15,373
Is there anything I can do to help?
429
00:14:15,475 --> 00:14:17,208
Yeah, you can, um...
430
00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:18,843
leave.
431
00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:21,012
If she's leaving, I'm leaving.
432
00:14:22,248 --> 00:14:24,682
Well, of course you're leaving.
That was never...
433
00:14:24,784 --> 00:14:26,884
You're serious? No, yeah. You gotta go.
434
00:14:26,987 --> 00:14:28,519
I didn't think you were staying.
435
00:14:28,622 --> 00:14:31,631
- Thanks for nothing, sellout.
- Appreciate your help, loser.
436
00:14:32,290 --> 00:14:34,636
Jeez, that guy Aaron was a super bummer.
437
00:14:34,646 --> 00:14:36,512
He acted like there was
nowhere else he could live.
438
00:14:36,522 --> 00:14:39,056
I don't think that's
exactly what he was saying.
439
00:14:39,125 --> 00:14:41,959
It's just that Hawkins
meant a lot to him.
440
00:14:42,061 --> 00:14:43,394
Jeez.
441
00:14:43,462 --> 00:14:45,296
I can't believe we're never
even gonna get the chance
442
00:14:45,398 --> 00:14:46,764
to be roommates.
443
00:14:46,866 --> 00:14:49,133
Our Drake poster was
gonna go right there.
444
00:14:49,235 --> 00:14:51,902
Or Elliot, you mean.
445
00:14:51,971 --> 00:14:55,040
Our Drake poster
was gonna go right there.
446
00:14:55,050 --> 00:14:56,283
[Sighs] You know what?
447
00:14:56,385 --> 00:14:57,851
I don't even go here yet,
448
00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:01,088
and I still feel like
all of this is my fault.
449
00:15:01,157 --> 00:15:03,924
Aww, it's totally not your fault.
450
00:15:05,694 --> 00:15:07,194
- Well, it's a little your fault.
- What?
451
00:15:07,263 --> 00:15:09,365
But you should not beat yourself up.
452
00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:10,607
I mean, maybe just a little bit,
453
00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:11,942
but then you gotta get over it, girl,
454
00:15:12,011 --> 00:15:13,043
'cause there's nothing you can do.
455
00:15:13,112 --> 00:15:13,977
Okay.
456
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:16,914
You needed me
457
00:15:17,016 --> 00:15:18,282
So, in less than a day,
458
00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,417
I had already managed to lose my housing
459
00:15:20,519 --> 00:15:22,920
and make all the black people
on campus hate me.
460
00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:24,721
And since everything
usually works out for me,
461
00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:27,524
I had no idea how I was gonna fix it.
462
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,894
And because things definitely
couldn't get any worse,
463
00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:33,363
of course they had to get weirder.
464
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,699
Acronyms...
465
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:38,902
The only way human beings
can actually learn.
466
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:40,304
Fact!
467
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:43,774
And the key to marketing?
468
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:45,509
"BSMCRDF"...
469
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:47,478
Buy. Sell.
470
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:50,005
Marketing. Consumer.
471
00:15:50,089 --> 00:15:52,022
Relatability. Demand.
472
00:15:52,091 --> 00:15:53,591
An... [stammers]
473
00:15:53,693 --> 00:15:55,059
And Files!
474
00:15:55,127 --> 00:15:57,261
[Clatters] Obviously,
no questions, right?
475
00:15:57,363 --> 00:15:59,797
'Cause I just did that. [Laughing]
476
00:15:59,899 --> 00:16:01,332
That makes a lot of sense, Daddy,
477
00:16:01,434 --> 00:16:02,833
but how do I appeal to customers
478
00:16:02,935 --> 00:16:04,768
and sell products in a targeted way?
479
00:16:04,837 --> 00:16:06,637
And that's a fair question, Serendipity.
480
00:16:06,739 --> 00:16:08,272
You know what my answer is to that?
481
00:16:08,341 --> 00:16:09,473
[Beep]
482
00:16:09,542 --> 00:16:10,741
Passion.
483
00:16:10,843 --> 00:16:13,210
I don't care if you don't
remember anything I say tonight.
484
00:16:13,279 --> 00:16:16,213
I don't care if you can't
even remember "BSMCRDF,"
485
00:16:16,315 --> 00:16:18,282
which is highly unlikely.
486
00:16:18,384 --> 00:16:20,268
Remember passion.
487
00:16:20,471 --> 00:16:21,664
Everyone say it with me.
488
00:16:21,674 --> 00:16:23,574
- All: Passion.
- Charlie: That's right.
489
00:16:23,643 --> 00:16:25,610
How do you think I
became a marketing exec
490
00:16:25,678 --> 00:16:27,945
at one of the top ad agencies
in the country, huh?
491
00:16:28,014 --> 00:16:30,248
You think I was qualified? No.
492
00:16:30,350 --> 00:16:32,683
Think I had a r?sum?? What's that?
493
00:16:32,752 --> 00:16:34,786
Did I have the strong recommendations
494
00:16:34,888 --> 00:16:37,421
of a male exotic dancer
who happened to be dating
495
00:16:37,490 --> 00:16:40,491
the big-boned, insecure
head of HR at the company?
496
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:41,592
Absolutely.
497
00:16:41,661 --> 00:16:44,695
And guess what my man's stage name was?
498
00:16:44,764 --> 00:16:46,297
- Pashun.
- [Class murmuring]
499
00:16:46,366 --> 00:16:48,718
See how that all worked out? [Laughing]
500
00:16:48,728 --> 00:16:49,927
Dipity!
501
00:16:50,029 --> 00:16:52,429
What's the most important
part of your job in one word?
502
00:16:52,532 --> 00:16:54,164
Hygiene?
503
00:16:55,368 --> 00:16:56,734
I meant, well... [Stammering]
504
00:16:56,802 --> 00:16:59,203
Yes, yes. I-I guess it is.
505
00:16:59,272 --> 00:17:01,605
In your particular trade,
passion would be number two.
506
00:17:01,707 --> 00:17:03,274
But for everyone else,
507
00:17:03,342 --> 00:17:04,842
when it comes to marketing your product
508
00:17:04,911 --> 00:17:05,876
in a targeted way...?
509
00:17:05,978 --> 00:17:07,912
- All: Passion!
- Charlie: That's right.
510
00:17:07,980 --> 00:17:09,213
I couldn't believe it.
511
00:17:09,282 --> 00:17:11,315
Charlie was actually making sense.
512
00:17:11,417 --> 00:17:14,051
You see, I was expecting
everything to be easy,
513
00:17:14,153 --> 00:17:16,287
but sometimes you have to work hard.
514
00:17:16,355 --> 00:17:18,355
You have to have passion.
515
00:17:18,424 --> 00:17:21,525
[Rapping]
1989!
The number, another summer
516
00:17:21,627 --> 00:17:24,061
So I put myself out there...
517
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:25,863
built my team...
518
00:17:25,965 --> 00:17:28,198
We got to fight the powers that be
519
00:17:29,226 --> 00:17:31,037
and convinced them
520
00:17:31,047 --> 00:17:33,314
that if we put our minds to
it and stuck together,
521
00:17:33,383 --> 00:17:35,917
with passion on our side,
we couldn't lose.
522
00:17:35,986 --> 00:17:38,152
...fight the powers that be, come on
523
00:17:38,255 --> 00:17:40,421
Having separate houses
isn't segregation...
524
00:17:40,523 --> 00:17:41,756
It's congregation.
525
00:17:41,858 --> 00:17:43,324
We're choosing to have our own dorms
526
00:17:43,426 --> 00:17:45,393
the same way some female students choose
527
00:17:45,462 --> 00:17:48,329
to go to Smith or Wellesley or Barnard.
528
00:17:48,398 --> 00:17:51,010
Or how some Black students choose to go
529
00:17:51,020 --> 00:17:52,753
to Clark or Morehouse or Howard.
530
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:55,456
The point is, when people
come together on purpose,
531
00:17:55,525 --> 00:17:58,459
it's different than when people
are forced into separation.
532
00:17:58,528 --> 00:18:01,328
That coming together equals
culture, empowerment,
533
00:18:01,430 --> 00:18:02,763
comfort, unity...
534
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:05,466
All the qualities that make
us proud to be Titans.
535
00:18:05,535 --> 00:18:08,169
And that's why you can't
get rid of Hawkins.
536
00:18:08,271 --> 00:18:12,006
537
00:18:12,074 --> 00:18:13,107
- [Beep]
- Uh, Barbara,
538
00:18:13,209 --> 00:18:15,476
can we get security in here, please?
539
00:18:15,545 --> 00:18:18,212
Wait. W-Wait, what? No.
540
00:18:18,281 --> 00:18:19,647
No! No, no, no, no, no.
541
00:18:19,715 --> 00:18:21,482
This is not how it was supposed to go.
542
00:18:21,551 --> 00:18:23,284
I was passionate... I
was passionate, right?
543
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:26,038
And you guys were supposed
to listen and agree.
544
00:18:26,048 --> 00:18:27,281
This is college.
545
00:18:27,383 --> 00:18:29,316
And, God, it was supposed to be fun.
546
00:18:29,385 --> 00:18:30,584
I don't even have housing.
547
00:18:30,686 --> 00:18:32,486
And I don't have a
donor to foot the bill
548
00:18:32,588 --> 00:18:34,822
for my saline solar-heated
aquatic center.
549
00:18:34,924 --> 00:18:36,557
And I don't have the right job.
550
00:18:36,659 --> 00:18:39,126
Anyway...[clears throat] thank
you very much, young lady.
551
00:18:39,195 --> 00:18:41,028
We do appreciate your passion.
552
00:18:41,130 --> 00:18:44,665
But you did not sell us.
553
00:18:44,767 --> 00:18:46,033
[Sighing]
554
00:18:46,135 --> 00:18:48,469
We have that meeting with the
Dean of Residential Life.
555
00:18:48,571 --> 00:18:50,004
Wait a minute, sell...
556
00:18:50,106 --> 00:18:51,572
Selling...
557
00:18:51,674 --> 00:18:53,514
[Gasp] BSMCRDF!
558
00:18:53,524 --> 00:18:54,957
What?
559
00:18:55,025 --> 00:18:56,692
[Whispering] Definitely
meningitis. Damn it!
560
00:18:56,794 --> 00:18:58,527
Your donors aren't buying
561
00:18:58,596 --> 00:19:00,762
the saline solar-heated
aquatic center you're selling
562
00:19:00,831 --> 00:19:03,165
because you're not marketing
it to them properly.
563
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:04,733
If you want them to be consumers,
564
00:19:04,802 --> 00:19:07,035
you have to relate to their demand.
565
00:19:07,137 --> 00:19:08,704
Files!
566
00:19:08,806 --> 00:19:10,105
I took Professor Telphy's class, too.
567
00:19:10,207 --> 00:19:12,107
Filled with prostitutes, by the way.
568
00:19:12,176 --> 00:19:13,642
Um... might want to look into that?
569
00:19:13,744 --> 00:19:15,577
What I'm saying is that you have
570
00:19:15,679 --> 00:19:17,412
something on this campus that is unique.
571
00:19:17,514 --> 00:19:20,115
The way all of these
groups come together here,
572
00:19:20,217 --> 00:19:22,417
you get more than a
college experience...
573
00:19:22,519 --> 00:19:24,186
You get a cultural one.
574
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:25,888
And you guys can sell that.
575
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:28,237
Foreigners love that [bleep]
576
00:19:28,393 --> 00:19:29,158
I'm sorry.
577
00:19:29,261 --> 00:19:30,426
[Whispering] But they do.
578
00:19:30,495 --> 00:19:31,628
579
00:19:31,730 --> 00:19:34,764
Hmm. Selling, marketing,
580
00:19:34,866 --> 00:19:36,266
foreign money.
581
00:19:36,368 --> 00:19:37,133
I like it.
582
00:19:37,235 --> 00:19:38,735
Parker, I can't believe
583
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,870
you wanted to get rid of these
culturally diverse hotbeds
584
00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:42,138
of student engagement.
585
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,073
[Normal voice] No, no, no,
I like student engagement.
586
00:19:44,175 --> 00:19:45,608
And don't touch me.
587
00:19:45,710 --> 00:19:46,743
When they're talking to each other,
588
00:19:46,845 --> 00:19:48,044
they're not talking to me.
589
00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,145
And even better,
590
00:19:49,247 --> 00:19:51,214
maybe they could all be talking to you.
591
00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:52,715
Here's an idea.
592
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:56,419
Why don't you be our
new student cultural liaison?
593
00:19:56,521 --> 00:19:58,955
Aah. Sounds like something
that might come with housing?
594
00:19:59,057 --> 00:20:01,024
- I should think so.
- Wait. Really?
595
00:20:01,126 --> 00:20:02,258
Okay, that's great and all,
596
00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:04,060
but, you know, I'm not
really even a "joiner".
597
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:06,062
Well, then you might not
even be a student, then.
598
00:20:06,131 --> 00:20:07,597
Well, that sounds like
I don't have a choice.
599
00:20:07,699 --> 00:20:10,001
That's how it's supposed
to sound... good.
600
00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:13,127
Then...
601
00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:14,370
I'll do it?
602
00:20:14,472 --> 00:20:15,371
Excellent!
603
00:20:15,473 --> 00:20:17,173
Then, I will see you next year.
604
00:20:17,275 --> 00:20:19,709
And if you guys could hang
your head on the way out
605
00:20:19,811 --> 00:20:21,177
so people don't think
you got your way...
606
00:20:21,279 --> 00:20:22,845
Hunch your shoulders,
607
00:20:22,947 --> 00:20:25,381
sad face, walk out... very good.
608
00:20:25,483 --> 00:20:27,516
I know, I know
609
00:20:27,618 --> 00:20:31,220
That it's taken me all
this time to say, girl
610
00:20:31,322 --> 00:20:33,122
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
611
00:20:33,224 --> 00:20:34,256
So, yeah.
612
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:36,292
This college thing wasn't as easy
613
00:20:36,394 --> 00:20:37,526
as I thought it was going to be.
614
00:20:37,628 --> 00:20:38,961
But, as expected,
615
00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:40,629
I still ultimately killed it.
616
00:20:40,732 --> 00:20:42,832
And I made two new friends.
617
00:20:42,934 --> 00:20:46,402
One of which I may or may
not be in love with.
618
00:20:46,504 --> 00:20:47,837
I totally am.
619
00:20:48,820 --> 00:20:50,371
- How was it?
- It was fine.
620
00:20:50,381 --> 00:20:52,329
[Grunting] All right.
621
00:20:52,899 --> 00:20:54,132
All right. Did anything happen?
622
00:20:54,234 --> 00:20:55,700
- No.
- Hey...
623
00:20:55,802 --> 00:20:58,369
I'm sorry about this
whole housing thing.
624
00:20:58,472 --> 00:21:00,038
But you can commute from home.
625
00:21:00,140 --> 00:21:02,407
I actually think I worked it out.
626
00:21:02,509 --> 00:21:03,808
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
627
00:21:03,910 --> 00:21:05,910
- How?
- I took Charlie's class.
628
00:21:06,012 --> 00:21:08,613
His kickboxing class that
he teaches in the park?
629
00:21:08,715 --> 00:21:09,747
[Chuckling] No.
630
00:21:09,850 --> 00:21:11,015
His marketing class.
631
00:21:11,118 --> 00:21:14,385
It turns out, Charlie is
actually a beloved Professor.
632
00:21:14,488 --> 00:21:16,488
Okay, you know what, baby?
That's cool, that's cool.
633
00:21:16,590 --> 00:21:19,557
You don't wanna tell me about
your weekend. That's fine.
634
00:21:19,607 --> 00:21:24,157
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