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1
00:00:02,103 --> 00:00:05,773
How about my son tells me all
about his latest accomplishment?
2
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:08,509
Well, I saved yet another man's
life the other day...
3
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,078
Bup, bup, bup!
One at a time. Josh?
4
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,381
Tell us about that part
you got offered.
5
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:15,549
Oh, God, it was nothing,
just a stupid commercial.
6
00:00:15,583 --> 00:00:17,651
Oh, if it's the one
with the talking duck,
7
00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:20,054
I'll die a happy man.
8
00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:24,792
It's not.
It's for a diarrhea medication.
9
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:29,163
Please take it.
I ask you for so very little.
10
00:00:29,197 --> 00:00:30,798
I am obviously not taking it.
11
00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:34,635
No, I haven't worked in a while,
but things are not diarrhea bad.
12
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:37,271
You know, I just read
that Mark Ruffalo
13
00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:39,440
dropped out of a play called
All Together Now.
14
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:40,774
They're looking
for a replacement.
15
00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:42,776
You should do it.
It's on Broadway.
16
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:45,246
The prime rib
of theater.
17
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,680
Mom, just 'cause
Mark Ruffalo's out
18
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,516
doesn't mean they're
gonna give me the part.
19
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:51,185
Oh, if you were on Broadway,
20
00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:53,387
that would shut up
that Evelyn Thomas.
21
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:55,523
Ugh, always bragging
about her son
22
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,126
and his global
orphanage program.
23
00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:02,663
Mom, Craig Thomas was nominated
for a Nobel Peace Prize.
24
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:06,534
Oh, Andrew, you sound
just like his mother.
25
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,236
Come on, Andrew, Wyatt's asleep,
26
00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:09,403
and I'm ready to watch.
27
00:01:09,437 --> 00:01:10,438
What are you two watching?
28
00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:11,839
Oh, it's this amazing
29
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,107
new reality show called
30
00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:14,708
We All Live in a Barn.
31
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,477
They have farm-related
competitions
32
00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,347
and then vote to see who gets
"put out to pasture."
33
00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:20,814
Yeah, it's like
Big Brother,
34
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:22,850
but easier to follow
and more hay.
Yeah.
35
00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,118
BOTH:
Hey!
36
00:01:24,152 --> 00:01:26,454
Something we do.
That's something we do
when we watch the show.
37
00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:27,555
Oh.
38
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:28,722
No, no, we understand,
39
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:29,823
it's just, you're both doctors.
40
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:31,359
It does sound a little bit...
41
00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:33,461
Completely stupid.
42
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:36,130
It's a study
of human behavior.
43
00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:39,533
Yeah, plus, sometimes they
have to wrestle in pig slop.
44
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:41,469
BOTH:
Sloppy seconds!
45
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:42,836
It's the thing...
That's another thing
we do when we...
46
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,838
I see. Well, bye!
47
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:47,508
That's something I do
when I want people to leave.
48
00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:49,410
Ooh, all right.
49
00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:53,147
God, my family
ruins everything.
50
00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:55,816
I think maybe
we should do something
51
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:57,385
a little more productive
with our time.
52
00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:59,487
Yeah, you're right.
I mean...
53
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,823
between the two of us, there's
16 years of higher education.
54
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,458
Maybe we should, like,
55
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:07,495
get our PhDs or become
docents at a museum.
56
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:09,830
Or we could start small.
57
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,865
Like, read a book
and then discuss it.
58
00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:14,502
A book does
sound more doable.
59
00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:17,705
Plus, I'm not entirely sure
what a docent even is.
60
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:20,741
Someone at the office was
talking about The Infinite Wave.
61
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,876
It won all sorts
of fancy book awards.
62
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:24,478
Oh, that's the one
they're making into a movie
63
00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:25,479
with Keira Knightley.
Yes.
64
00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:26,647
She's in all the smart ones.
65
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,182
Okay, cool.
Yeah.
66
00:02:28,216 --> 00:02:30,218
So we'll have our own
personal book club,
67
00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:32,753
like a young, sophisticated
married couple.
68
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:35,789
BOTH:
Book club!
69
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:41,295
God, my family really
does ruin everything.
70
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,870
Josh Daniel Roberts,
is that you?!
71
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:50,904
Oh, God.
72
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:52,473
It's me, Patty Partridge.
73
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:53,307
Remember?
Yeah, I do.
74
00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:55,243
It's hard to forget
your stalker.
75
00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:56,777
Number one fan.
76
00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,646
Oh, boy.
77
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,349
Hey, we sure had some fun
back in L.A., didn't we?
78
00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:02,916
Yeah, I miss our
fun little game of
79
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:04,752
"hide and file
a restraining order."
80
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:07,288
Well, look at you.
81
00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:09,723
Look at you. You have not aged
one day. Look at that.
82
00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:11,459
Look at that.
83
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,294
Look at that!
Yeah. It's cool.
It's cool.
84
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:15,263
Well, I'm gonna go.
Please don't follow me.
85
00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:16,697
Oh, Josh, Josh,
86
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,699
you don't think I'm still
stalking you, do you?
87
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:19,767
Well, you live in L.A.
88
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,735
and have my face permanently
inked on your body,
89
00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:23,003
so a guy has to wonder.
90
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:25,306
Oh. Honey, well, don't you worry
91
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:26,507
your handsome little body
92
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,376
and size eleven and a half feet,
93
00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:30,911
because I didn't come
to New York for you, okay?
94
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,280
This is just a coincidence.
95
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:33,914
Yeah, okay. I believe you.
Bye-bye.
96
00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:36,284
No, no, no, Josh, really,
really. I've moved on.
97
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:38,018
You won't see me again.
98
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,988
Well, unless you come in
for a coffee at Beans-nanza.
99
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:43,891
In that case, see you never.
100
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,593
Okay.
You were going that way.
101
00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,027
Oh, sorry, habit.
102
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:52,633
* La, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la *
103
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:55,269
* Come on,
won't you take me home? *
104
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:04,445
Nick.
105
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,980
This is my stalker.
Do not let her in the building.
106
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,749
You have a stalker?
107
00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:11,885
Josh, she looks like
the picture of the lady
108
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,354
that comes with the frame.
109
00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:15,423
I am telling you,
she is obsessed with me
110
00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:17,358
and very determined.
111
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:18,759
Back in L.A.,
it was a real problem.
112
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,794
Ah!
113
00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:28,536
Ahh...
114
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,640
Oh, thank you.
115
00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:37,378
In your closet?
Uh-huh.
116
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,780
That is a man's
private sanctuary.
117
00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,382
Look, don't
you worry, Josh.
118
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,384
No creepy stalker lady's
getting by on my watch.
119
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:44,051
Thank you.
120
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,419
I just don't get it.
121
00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:46,954
She could stalk
anyone in the world.
122
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:47,921
Okay, you know what...
123
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,823
All right, man. Don't listen
to him, baby boo,
124
00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:52,793
if I was a crazy lady who loved
short dudes in bad cop shows,
125
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,529
I'd stalk the crap
out of you.
126
00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:57,665
Thank you.
127
00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:02,436
ANDREW: "Francisco walked
across the footbridge,
128
00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:05,339
bracing as the frost of
winter hit his cheeks."
129
00:05:05,373 --> 00:05:08,609
We should go skiing
this winter.
130
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:11,445
I could grow a beard.
131
00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:14,782
"Francisco walked across the
footbridge, bracing as the--"
132
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:17,351
Can a surgeon have a beard?
133
00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:19,653
None of the other surgeons do.
134
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:22,623
No, no, Steve has one.
135
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:25,125
Susan does, too.
136
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:29,530
"Francisco walked across..."
God, I hate this book.
137
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,901
How is Eve so into it?
138
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:37,938
EVE:
Kill me, kill me, kill me!
139
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:39,773
You know what?
140
00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:42,075
I'm just gonna tell Andrew
I can't do this.
141
00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:45,879
Hmm... But we're supposed
to be doing this together,
142
00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:47,014
and he's loving it.
143
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:49,550
ANDREW:
Maybe just a mustache.
144
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,756
This is nice.
145
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:58,692
So nice, book buddy.
146
00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:17,611
I didn't make popcorn.
147
00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:32,460
Ah!
148
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,704
Moved on, my ass.
I know what you did.
149
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:46,840
Excuse me.
150
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,809
You're gonna have to be
a little more specific
151
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:50,644
because I have done
a lot of things
152
00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:53,080
to piss off a lot
of people.
153
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,682
You broke into my apartment,
154
00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:56,817
did my laundry
and kissed my poster.
155
00:06:56,850 --> 00:07:00,521
Ooh, that sure sounds
like my work, doesn't it?
156
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,690
But, sorry, I've been
here all day.
157
00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:04,057
Yeah? Well, I
don't believe you.
158
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:06,093
Yeah? Well, you can
check with my manager.
159
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,995
I can give you
his digits, his address,
160
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:09,697
or his Social
Security number.
161
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:12,866
So it's just a coincidence
that I run into you,
162
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,568
and then someone
was in my apartment
163
00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:16,203
doing the things
that you used to do?
164
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:18,839
Listen, Josh, I don't know
what to tell you, okay?
165
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:22,109
But like I said in the park,
I've moved on to another actor.
166
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:26,079
Oh, yeah
167
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,982
Ken Brunt.
168
00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:31,118
Don't we make a cute couple?
169
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:34,688
Oh, uh, well,
then I stand corrected.
170
00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:36,724
I'm, uh, I'm sorry
about that.
171
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:38,626
I guess you're
Ken Brunt's problem now.
172
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,699
Ken Brunt, though?
Really?
173
00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,167
I mean, he's, like,
a poor man's me.
174
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,869
Oh, on the contrary.
175
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:51,138
Ooh, I could just suck his soul
right out of his body,
176
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:52,272
chew it up,
177
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,907
and then spit it
back in his mouth
178
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:55,709
like a mama bird
feeding her young.
179
00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:00,280
Okay, well,
good luck with that.
180
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,015
Thank you.
181
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:12,993
I am too reading!
182
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,929
Oh, hi, Harry. It's just you.
183
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:17,631
I get that a lot.
184
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:20,968
Would you like a melon?
There was a sale.
185
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,035
No, thank you.
186
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:23,604
It's about as ripe as they get,
187
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:24,838
and you can't find...
188
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,740
Okay, thank you,
thank you.
189
00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:27,908
Ooh!
190
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:31,211
Ooh! I love
The Infinite Wave!
191
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,946
Have you gotten
to the part
192
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:36,116
where Francisco
turns 200 years old
193
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:38,285
and sets sail
across the sea?
194
00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:41,021
Oh, God, he lives
for 200 years?
195
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,723
And beyond that.
196
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:46,694
Wait till you get to chapter 52.
It's in Spanish.
197
00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:49,830
So you know this
book pretty well?
198
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:53,934
Well, it made the Harry Roberts
top ten of 2017,
199
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,302
but you already know that,
200
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:57,571
it was in my newsletter.
Right.
201
00:08:57,605 --> 00:09:01,775
Would you mind telling me
everything about it?
202
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:04,277
Well, my favorite
part is...
203
00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:05,779
Hold that thought.
204
00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:07,280
I want to grab a pen and paper
205
00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:09,249
for no particular reason.
Sure.
206
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,291
Did you bring the money?
207
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:19,827
Did you read the book?
208
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,695
Finished my report
this morning.
209
00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:22,830
Then why are you late?
210
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:25,232
Sorry, had a playdate.
211
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:33,974
I solved the mystery of who
was in your apartment.
212
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,776
You did?
Yup.
213
00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:38,378
And as you know, I consider
myself a bit of a detective.
214
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,813
I did not know that.
215
00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:41,248
Well, I am.
216
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,951
I got something to show you.
217
00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:45,252
Check out the security footage.
218
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,387
JOSH: There are cameras
in the hallways?
219
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,257
Mm-hmm. I've seen you steal
your dad's newspapers.
220
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,725
Shame on you.
221
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:01,401
Never send a paper bag to do
a plastic bag's job, right?
222
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:04,004
Can we fast-forward
to the relevant part?
223
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:06,874
Excuse me for trying
to lighten up the mood.
224
00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:12,846
My mother, of course.
Mm-hmm.
225
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:16,416
JOSH:
And there she is again,
226
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,886
and again...
227
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:20,921
and again.
228
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,757
Your mama love you.
229
00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:25,258
Yes.
230
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,694
12 times?
231
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:27,828
You came into my apartment
232
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:29,830
12 times in one day.
233
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,865
Yeah, that adds up.
234
00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:34,167
I did my yoga.
235
00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:36,436
I made some popcorn,
watched a movie.
236
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,739
Did your laundry.
You know, the usual.
237
00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:39,907
You kissed my poster?
238
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:41,374
Well, sure, when you say it
239
00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:43,677
like that it sounds weird.
240
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:46,179
Oh, and I ironed
your blue shirt,
241
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,048
the one that makes
your eyes pop,
242
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,784
so you can wear it to your
audition for All Together Now.
243
00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:53,053
I'm not auditioning
for All Together No Mom.
244
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,756
Why, darling? You were
born to be on Broadway.
245
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:57,424
I wanted you to be
born on Broadway,
246
00:10:57,457 --> 00:11:00,060
but the hospital
wouldn't let me leave.
247
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:02,863
I'm sorry, Mom,
but Broadway's just not
248
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,231
where my career
is at right now.
249
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,733
And where might that be?
250
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:07,167
At a diarrhea commercial.
251
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,470
I mean, let's just say
the fact that my stalker
252
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,740
has moved on to Ken Brunt
has given me
253
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:14,074
a bit of
a reality check.
254
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:17,277
Your stalker?
Patty Partridge?
255
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:18,879
The one and only.
256
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:20,948
I mean, God, she used
to sleep in my Dumpster
257
00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:23,283
to find out what
I had for breakfast.
258
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:25,418
Now she won't even give me
a free refill at Beans-nanza.
259
00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:27,087
They have to give
you a free refill.
260
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,222
It's store policy.
261
00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,091
And who the hell
is Ken Brunt?
262
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:34,127
Exactly, Mom. Exactly.
263
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,297
Hey, Patty.
264
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:39,499
Can we talk?
265
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,368
Wow, two visits in 12 hours.
266
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:44,772
Creepy.
267
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:47,775
It's just... Ken Brunt?
268
00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:50,978
I mean, I've seen the guy's work
and he's, you know...
269
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,913
Just kind of feels like
a step down.
270
00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:56,750
Josh, let's not do this. Okay?
271
00:11:56,784 --> 00:11:58,986
I mean, Paul Rudd, sure.
272
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,387
Jason Bateman, I get it.
273
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,122
But Ken Brunt?
274
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:03,957
What makes him so special?
275
00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:07,895
Well, for starters, he's got
that-that tight little ass,
276
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:10,463
that when you slap it,
he doesn't even wake up.
277
00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:14,467
And of course his
stardom is on the rise.
278
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:18,271
So, he's got that, he's got that
fire in his eyes, you know?
279
00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:21,341
Like, like...
280
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:23,076
like the kind
you used to have.
281
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,245
You don't...
282
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:27,414
you don't think I have
fire in my eyes anymore?
283
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:31,852
Look, Josh, we had a
good thing, okay, but...
284
00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:34,454
it ran its course.
285
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:36,156
Okay?
286
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:39,426
But, hey, we'll always have
that romantic weekend getaway
287
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,062
in Palm Springs
with your wife.
288
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,364
Wait a second, you were there?
289
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:48,501
What an adorable
little question.
290
00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:53,506
Josh, are you okay?
291
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:56,109
Yeah, I'm fine. Why?
292
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:57,177
I don't know.
293
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,813
You just seem kind of hurt.
294
00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:02,415
Of course I'm not hurt.
295
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,184
That would make me
the crazy one.
296
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,326
Okay, Wyatt's down.
297
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,962
Ready to do this?
298
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,463
Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.
299
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,198
We're about to
book-club so hard.
300
00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:21,468
So...
301
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:23,470
The Infinite Wave.
Mm-hmm.
302
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:24,504
Loved it.
303
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:25,605
Really?
304
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,040
Yeah, huh.
305
00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:28,375
Yeah, it was
so derivative.
306
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:30,110
Derivative of what?
307
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,845
I'm glad you asked.
308
00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:36,216
The Japanese author Haruki
Murakami comes to mind.
309
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:39,119
Oh, yeah. Sure.
Mm-hmm.
310
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,589
But didn't you think that
Francisco was so romantic?
311
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:44,457
No, he was selfish.
312
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,259
I mean, he fed his ship
captain to a whale.
313
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:47,627
No, the whale
was a metaphor.
314
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:48,628
It was symbolic.
315
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:49,997
Of what?
316
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:53,366
Of...
317
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:54,968
I got to pee.
I'll be right back.
318
00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:59,639
Harry, what does
the whale symbolize?
319
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:03,243
Ah, you made it
to page seven.
320
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,913
The whale, Harry,
the whale.
321
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:09,382
Okay, the whale
symbolizes...
322
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:11,551
...man's own desire
to self-destruct.
323
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:14,955
Hmm, hmm. Yeah, I didn't
see it that way at all.
324
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,156
How'd you see it?
325
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:20,994
Oh.
326
00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:22,629
Oh, dear.
327
00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:24,164
That's the hospital.
328
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,199
I'm gonna step
into the hall
329
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:28,368
because of doctor/patient
confidentiality
330
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:31,138
and for no other reason.
331
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:33,373
You didn't say anything
about whale symbolism.
332
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:34,374
Yes, I did.
333
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:36,009
It was in my report.
334
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:38,345
Wait, you didn't
even finish that?
335
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:41,014
The Internet has ruined
my attention span.
336
00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:42,449
Just tell me what it means.
337
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:45,685
The whale wasn't symbolic,
it was just hungry.
338
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,620
How is your patient?
339
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:48,655
What?
340
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:50,890
Oh, um, uh, dead.
341
00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:57,564
Well, I guess
we agree to disagree.
342
00:14:57,597 --> 00:15:01,401
But that was
a very spirited
343
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,437
and challenging three
hours, so, uh...
344
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:07,040
So, mission accomplished.
345
00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:09,409
Hey.
I feel smart
and fulfilled.
346
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,244
Me, too.
Okay.
347
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:16,016
So, uh, is this
something that you'd be
348
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:18,718
interested in doing again?
349
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,421
Please say no, please
say no, please say no.
350
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:25,025
Is it something you'd be
interested in doing again?
351
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:27,427
Please say no, please
say no, please say no.
352
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:29,196
Sure.
353
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:31,431
Cool.
354
00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:33,733
I guess we should
pick our next book.
355
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,603
That would be the
logical next step.
356
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:39,272
Should we read the sequel?
357
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:41,741
It's... longer.
358
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,443
Okay.
359
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:45,578
Great. So, great.
360
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:48,115
I'm gonna order us
two copies.
361
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:53,753
I'm sorry.
362
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,455
I can't do this.
363
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:58,758
Ugh. I know you wanted
to do something meaningful
364
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:02,295
and smart together,
but I miss TV.
365
00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:03,630
Me, too!
366
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,498
Andrew, I have
a confession to make.
367
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:08,235
I did not read that book.
Me, neither.
368
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:11,538
You didn't?
No! I paid Ian $40
for a book report.
369
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:13,440
I tricked your dad
370
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,142
into telling me
everything about it.
371
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:17,577
I am just so tired
at the end of the day.
372
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:18,678
I don't want homework.
373
00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:20,513
Oh, me, neither.
374
00:16:20,547 --> 00:16:22,515
I just want to watch people
ten years younger than me
375
00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:27,020
do stupid competitions and
have sex in a chicken coop.
376
00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:29,589
I want the exact same thing.
377
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,259
Please, let's watch
We All Live in a Barn.
378
00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:34,261
Nothing would
make me happier
379
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:37,197
and there is no one I
would rather do it with.
380
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:39,266
Okay.
381
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:41,701
Oh, and remember, the-the
spinoff premieres tonight.
382
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:44,604
We All Live in
a Barn: Miami.
Miami!
383
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:46,539
Ah.
384
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:53,546
Stupid Ken Brunt,
you do have fire in your eyes.
385
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:56,349
Joshua, you are better
than diarrhea.
386
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:58,618
What?
387
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:00,553
You're not gonna take an
embarrassing commercial.
388
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:02,722
You belong on Broadway.
389
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,657
I appreciate that, Mom,
but you can't just
390
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:07,060
call up Broadway and say, "Hey,
I want to be in your play."
391
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:09,462
Ah, give me the number.
I'll do it.
392
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:10,630
Mom, it's not happening.
393
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,132
How can you know
394
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:14,234
it's not happening
if you don't try?
395
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:16,503
I don't want to try because
396
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,371
I don't want to find out
they're not interested.
397
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:21,341
Oh.
398
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,775
I see what's
happening here.
399
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:24,344
All right.
400
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:25,645
Come on. Get up.
What?
401
00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:27,380
Get up. Up, up, up,
up, up, up, up.
402
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:28,848
What are you... what are you
doing?
403
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,350
We're going to do...
404
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,418
...a trust fall.
405
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:32,552
No, we're not.
406
00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:34,654
Oh, yes, we are.
Why?
407
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:37,724
Just trust me.
Mom, I'm too heavy.
You can't catch me.
408
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:41,428
Oh, well, my aqua-aerobics
instructor would beg to differ.
409
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:44,731
I'm kind of the butch
of the class.
410
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:47,700
Well, I can tell you won't
leave until I do it, so fine.
411
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:50,303
All right.
412
00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:52,305
Get ready.
413
00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:54,107
Relax.
414
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:55,542
And trust.
415
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,178
Okay.
416
00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:01,681
Okay.
417
00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:03,716
Ow!
418
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,752
God! Why didn't you catch me?!
419
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:08,388
Don't be ridiculous.
I can't catch you.
420
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,890
Those aqua weights
are three pounds.
421
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:13,193
So why'd we do that?!
422
00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:15,228
To show you
you'd be okay.
423
00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:16,763
You are okay, aren't you?
424
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,365
No, that hurt.
425
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:19,899
But you're okay.
426
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,501
Yeah.
427
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:22,902
Exactly.
428
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:25,205
You fell down,
but you're okay.
429
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:26,406
That's life.
430
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,341
You try something,
you fail.
431
00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:29,776
Again, I didn't fail.
432
00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:31,278
You didn't catch me.
433
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:32,912
Sometimes you get
banged up,
434
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,415
but you get up.
435
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,518
And you keep going.
436
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,687
Not at all the point
of trust falls.
437
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,656
No, but...
438
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:45,792
But...
439
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,294
I get your point.
440
00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:48,661
I will call about the play.
441
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:51,664
Good. The worst thing
they can do is say no.
442
00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:53,800
And who knows? Maybe
they'll say yes.
443
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,802
If they know
what's good for them.
444
00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:58,438
Thanks, Mom.
445
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:01,174
And, Joshie, remember,
you have me,
446
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:04,143
so you'll always
have a stalker.
447
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:13,920
Broadway, baby.
I can't believe you got it.
448
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:14,954
I know, it's crazy.
449
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,189
I am so excited.
450
00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:17,690
Man, me, too.
451
00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:19,659
I hear Broadway groupies are
both smoking and intelligent,
452
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:22,362
so, uh, we got that
to look forward to.
453
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:23,530
We?
454
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:25,298
Yeah, I'm in.
Oh, cool.
455
00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,334
Yo, isn't that your stalker?
456
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,436
It sure is.
457
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:32,272
I'm back, baby.
458
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:34,874
Congrats on your new gig.
459
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:37,310
Sleep with one eye open, my pet.
460
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,745
And, we're running.
Come on.
Oh, my God, yes.
461
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,347
Come on.
Go.
462
00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:41,781
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
463
00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:50,423
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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32352
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