All language subtitles for 9JKL.S01E13.1080p.TVShows_track4_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:06,374 I love breakfast. It's my favorite meal. 2 00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:08,242 Although, then lunch comes along, 3 00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:11,512 and it gives it a real run for its money. 4 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,381 Andrew, you've barely eaten anything. 5 00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:14,715 Are you sick? 6 00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:17,185 Eve and I have a black-tie event tonight 7 00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:20,321 and I'm eating light so I can fit in my old tux. 8 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,389 Your wedding tux? 9 00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:23,324 Prom tux. I'm going for it. 10 00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,827 Oh, that's probably Helen from 4G. 11 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,562 Josh, would you get rid of her for me? 12 00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:30,198 Yeah, sure. I thought you liked Helen. 13 00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:31,565 Well, I do, but lately she's been 14 00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:34,535 so opinionated and dramatic. So are you. 15 00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:37,438 Well, yes, but there's only room for one of us in this building. 16 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,475 Oh, Josh. 17 00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:43,177 Oh, my God, Lauren Harris. 18 00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:44,678 Hey. Hey. 19 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,614 I haven't seen you since... Camp Meskota. 20 00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:48,149 That's right. Yeah. 21 00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:49,450 I'd give you a proper Meskota greeting, 22 00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,452 but looking back, that whole war-dance bit 23 00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,321 may have been a little culturally insensitive. 24 00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,556 Yeah, well, only to the actual Meskotas, 25 00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,291 who did live across the lake. Right. 26 00:00:57,325 --> 00:00:59,160 You got your braces off. 27 00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,495 Yeah, well, when I was 13 and then again at 25. 28 00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:02,730 Wear your retainer, folks. 29 00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:05,333 And your acne cleared up. 30 00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,701 Yeah, when I was 14. Then again when I was 31. 31 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,203 It was a stressful year for me. 32 00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:12,440 I forgot about your pimple years. 33 00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:14,208 Mom, you must have a photo of that. 34 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:15,843 This could be a holiday card contender. 35 00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:18,179 Anyway, I'm sorry to interrupt. 36 00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:19,347 My mom wanted me to return your book. 37 00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:20,814 Oh, thank you, darling. 38 00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:22,150 You want to stay for breakfast? 39 00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:23,417 We've got eggs and... 40 00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:25,219 Nope. I finished all the eggs. 41 00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:26,754 Well, we've got bagels. 42 00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:29,223 No, we do not. 43 00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:30,658 All right, we've got nothing. 44 00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,193 So, how you been? 45 00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:34,595 I'm good. Better. Well, I-I got a divorce. 46 00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,630 So did I. JUDY: Well, thanks for bringing back 47 00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,832 the book, dear. Give your mother my love. 48 00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:40,601 I will. It was nice to see you all. 49 00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:43,604 Great to see you, too. 50 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:46,240 Uh, Mom, since I've moved back to New York, 51 00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:48,809 you have set me up with Beefy Barbara and Cross-Eyed Marie, 52 00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:50,578 but that girl slipped your mind? 53 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:54,848 Well, after Curvy Barbara and Optically Unique Marie, 54 00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:57,885 you banned me from meddling in your love life 55 00:01:57,918 --> 00:02:00,754 and made me promise never to set you up again. 56 00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,223 Yeah, well, in this case, I'll make an exception. 57 00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:03,624 Can you get me Lauren's number? 58 00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:05,859 I don't know, Josh. I hate breaking a promise. 59 00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:08,229 Mom. Sure, I'll call Myra. 60 00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:10,331 Thank you. 61 00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:11,932 I found it. 62 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,768 Oh, Josh's ninth grade photo. 63 00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:17,238 It's worse than I remembered. 64 00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:21,375 It's like he shoved his head into a beehive. 65 00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:23,811 Yeah? Well, at least my face is in the picture, 66 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:27,948 not cut off 'cause I'm weirdly 20 feet tall. 67 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:33,354 Myra, it's Judy. 68 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,356 Phase one is complete. 69 00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:38,526 The birds are in the nest. 70 00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,794 * La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la * 71 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:43,731 * Come on, won't you take me home? * 72 00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:54,408 Judy, we need your help. 73 00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:55,943 Those are my five favorite words. 74 00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:57,378 ANDREW: Our babysitter just bailed. 75 00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:58,679 We need you to watch Wyatt. 76 00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:01,615 Oh. Is that how we ask for things? 77 00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:04,652 Mom, could you please watch Wyatt this evening? 78 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,620 I can't. I have plans. 79 00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:07,955 Why'd you make me ask again? 80 00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:10,924 Oh, there's never a wrong time to work on your manners. 81 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:14,595 I'm sorry, but my friend, Irene Fishman and I are going 82 00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:17,698 to a lecture called "Learning to Love Yourself after 70." 83 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,567 Like emotionally? 84 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,269 No, sexually. 85 00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:24,272 And now I need to take my brain to be dry-cleaned. 86 00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:25,773 You're awfully squeamish for a doctor. 87 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,441 I'm a human first. 88 00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:30,511 We are so screwed. 89 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,246 We have to leave in a half an hour 90 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,414 and no one can watch Wyatt. 91 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,249 I can watch Wyatt. 92 00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:36,550 I'd love to spend 93 00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:38,486 some one-on-one time with my grandson. 94 00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:40,421 Oh, wow. 95 00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:44,325 Uh, that would be an interesting thing to try 96 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,360 for the first time ever. 97 00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:47,428 Andrew, you want to take this one? 98 00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:49,297 I'm on it, babe. 99 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,432 That'd be great, Dad, thank you. 100 00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:53,033 Oh, wonderful. 101 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:56,437 I'd better make some coffee if I'm pulling a nine o'clocker. 102 00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,606 Andrew, I'm not sure I'm comfortable 103 00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,441 with your father watching Wyatt alone. 104 00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:01,742 He watches him all the time. 105 00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,378 Yeah, with your mother, not by himself. 106 00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:06,447 I mean, we're talking about a guy who once fell asleep 107 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,382 on a ten-minute drive to Home Depot. 108 00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:10,718 What's wrong with an older man taking a little cat nap? 109 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,986 He was the one driving. 110 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:15,656 Well, this is different, okay? 111 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,425 He can handle a little babysitting. 112 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:20,060 Do you think the baby would enjoy some peanut brittle? 113 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:24,432 Uh, he has no teeth and he's allergic to nuts. 114 00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:25,966 So is that a no? 115 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,303 All right, we're gonna walk him 116 00:04:29,337 --> 00:04:30,871 through the entire bedtime routine. 117 00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:32,005 It'll be fine. 118 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:36,477 After you. Oh, thank you. 119 00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:39,813 Oh, I-I thought you said you had a view of the park? 120 00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:43,484 ...ing lot. 121 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:46,019 I, uh, might've purposely trailed off so you'd come up. 122 00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:47,688 Oh, well, I'm glad I did. 123 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:48,956 I love it. 124 00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,824 I also really love this jacket. 125 00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:52,493 Hang on. 126 00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:54,094 Oh, yeah, I knew it. 127 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,829 It's from my favorite store. Oh, really? 128 00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:58,432 Oh, Myra, it's working. 129 00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:00,868 They're literally tearing each other's clothes off. 130 00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:03,371 I'm gonna go in and seal the deal. 131 00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:08,776 Hello. Oh, hello. 132 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,378 I didn't know you two were out here. 133 00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:12,646 The heat in my apartment won't shut off. 134 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,047 I had to cool it off a little bit. 135 00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:15,082 Hi, Judy. 136 00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,817 Hi, darling. Good to see you. 137 00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,652 Well, you two have fun. 138 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,388 Not too much, though. 139 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:21,722 Only if you want to. 140 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:23,524 I... none of my business. 141 00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:24,658 I'm just leaving now. 142 00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:25,693 JOSH: Okay. 143 00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,060 Sorry about that. 144 00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:28,396 Oh, no, that's okay. 145 00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:30,598 I love this music. 146 00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:31,965 It reminds me of when I lived in Italy. 147 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,934 You lived in Italy? That's so crazy. 148 00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:34,935 I've been learning Italian. 149 00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,676 Well, I have the CDs but haven't actually started yet. 150 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,011 : Okay. 151 00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:46,447 Well, do you at least know how to say "Kiss me"? 152 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:49,049 No, I literally haven't listened to a single... oh. 153 00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,555 Myra, it's Judy. 154 00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:55,856 It's done. 155 00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:58,626 God, we're good. 156 00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:00,093 : All right, Harry. 157 00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:02,630 So, we've already fed and bathed Wyatt. 158 00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:03,731 Now, all you need to do is... 159 00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:05,866 What? I could barely hear you. 160 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:08,001 : Dad, Dad, Dad, this-this close to bedtime, 161 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,771 we try to use a quiet, soothing voice. 162 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,940 Got it. You want me to talk like this? 163 00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:15,008 That's the exact same volume. Oh. 164 00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,610 So, like this? 165 00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,746 Literally no change whatsoever. 166 00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:22,049 Anyway, uh, before we put him down, we change his diaper. 167 00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:24,552 Eve, I raised two children. 168 00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:25,886 I know what I'm doing. 169 00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,588 Yeah, Eve, he raised two children. 170 00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:29,823 That was when kids didn't wear bike helmets 171 00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:31,992 and driving drunk was considered a smart way 172 00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:33,561 to save money on a cab. 173 00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:35,463 Just give him a chance. 174 00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:36,930 Okay. 175 00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:39,767 Um, the diapers are located in that cabinet. 176 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,168 Right over there. 177 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,070 Okay. 178 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,505 It's jammed. 179 00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:46,039 Oh, no, that's just the baby... 180 00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,543 ...lock. 181 00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:51,178 Moving on. 182 00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:53,113 After we change his diaper... 183 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:55,015 Wait, I want to write this down. 184 00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:57,785 I know how particular the two of you are about his routine. 185 00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:59,853 That is a great idea, Dad. 186 00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:01,555 See, honey? He wants to write it down. 187 00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:02,856 HARRY: Well, hold on. 188 00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,057 It's telling me to do something 189 00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:07,895 called an "OS software update." 190 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,898 Oop, now I've opened the camera. 191 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:14,868 Ooh, I need to trim my nose hairs. 192 00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:17,170 Uh, I-I'm gonna do the update. Well, while we're waiting, 193 00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:21,509 can we let Wyatt play with my marble collection? 194 00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:24,878 You know what, Dad? 195 00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:27,948 Ugh. I'm suddenly... I'm-I'm not feeling very well. 196 00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:30,784 We're not gonna need you to babysit, after all. 197 00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:33,220 Oh, that's too bad. 198 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:35,188 I was really looking forward to it. 199 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:38,626 Well, let me just say good night to Wyatt. 200 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,528 Good night, Wyatt! Aah... 201 00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:49,803 Guys, I've asked you to get anything you need 202 00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:51,539 from the Costco closet by 10:00. 203 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,073 I mean, what if I brought a girl home? 204 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,942 You see, this is why I love shopping here. 205 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:58,078 The employees are so funny. 206 00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:00,581 You're annoying. 207 00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:01,982 And I just had a great second date with Lauren. 208 00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:03,517 Knock, knock. 209 00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:05,152 Saying it is not the same as doing it. 210 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,521 Fine, I won't say it anymore. 211 00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:09,957 I know it's after 10:00, but I need a new jar of face cream. 212 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,626 And I'm having a yen for sesame sticks. 213 00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:15,763 Right. You didn't come to interrogate Josh 214 00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:17,931 about his date with your friend's daughter? 215 00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:20,133 Andrew, what's meant to be will be. 216 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,969 I have no control over these things. 217 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,938 That is so respectful and unlike you in every way. 218 00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:26,239 What gives? 219 00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:28,709 She's keeping her promise, which I appreciate. 220 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:29,977 And for your information, Mom, 221 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,278 things with Lauren are going great, 222 00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:32,312 without your involvement. 223 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,114 Well, you're welcome. 224 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:36,183 Well, I can't wait to meet her. 225 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:37,918 She's excited to hang out with you guys. 226 00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:39,286 Hey, you want to come out with us Friday night? 227 00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,154 Yeah. I like that idea. Yeah. 228 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:44,324 We can play What Does This Woman See in You? 229 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:47,160 And I can babysit Wyatt. 230 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,296 You and Judy? 231 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,899 Oh, no. Friday is the second part of my lecture series, 232 00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:54,101 "Pleasing Your Partner." 233 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,770 And as her partner, I don't want her to miss that. 234 00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:58,238 You know, growing up, 235 00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:01,909 my favorite person in the world was my grandfather. 236 00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:04,277 And I'm so grateful to have the chance 237 00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:07,214 to have the same kind of relationship with Wyatt. 238 00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,116 Oh, Dad, so here's the thing... 239 00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:12,285 Of course you can babysit, Harry. 240 00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:13,887 Was that the grandfather who taught you to smoke 241 00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:15,623 and gave you your first beer? 242 00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:18,792 Best ninth birthday ever. 243 00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,664 Coming. 244 00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,768 Hi. Hey. 245 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,904 Damn, someone spent some extra time on the hair this morning, 246 00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:33,140 and it's paying dividends. 247 00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,008 Oh, thank you, I... 248 00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:36,910 oh, you're talking to Andrew, aren't you? 249 00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:38,111 Yes. Of course he was. 250 00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:39,713 Okay. 251 00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:42,149 All right, listen up. 252 00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,384 My dad thinks he's here to babysit Wyatt 253 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,153 and you're here to fix the cabinet, 254 00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:49,256 but really you're here to babysit them both. 255 00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:50,357 I don't follow. 256 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:53,661 Should I stay in the bathroom during Wyatt's bath 257 00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:56,063 or does the little guy like his privacy? 258 00:09:57,230 --> 00:10:00,333 Okay, yup. No, now I follow. Yeah. 259 00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:05,072 Oh, my God. 260 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,741 You are so normal and cool. 261 00:10:07,775 --> 00:10:08,876 Be honest. 262 00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:10,177 Is this Josh's Make 263 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:14,682 You ever instantly regret agreeing to a double date? 264 00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,049 ANDREW: Hey. 265 00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:17,384 Judy must be so happy you guys are hitting it off. 266 00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:18,819 You know, she's acting like she doesn't care, 267 00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,120 but she's obviously thrilled. 268 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:21,955 The only thing Mom must not like 269 00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:24,224 is that she can't exactly take credit for setting us up. 270 00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:25,358 ANDREW: Oh, Mom loves her credit. 271 00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:26,994 She's always reminding me 272 00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:28,395 that I got my hair from her. 273 00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:30,698 But it doesn't matter where I got my hair. 274 00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:33,734 What's important is what I do with it. 275 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:34,868 JOSH: Wow. 276 00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:36,136 Well, she can't take credit for us, 277 00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:37,871 which is why she has issues with me. 278 00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:39,106 Well, that's not the only reason. 279 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,341 There can be no other reason 280 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:42,409 because you're perfect. 281 00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,111 JOSH: Anyway, 282 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,345 should we get another bottle? 283 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,080 Oh, none for me, thanks. I'm going rock climbing 284 00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:48,816 early tomorrow morning. 285 00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:50,417 Hey, do you want to come? 286 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:53,420 It's this amazing new indoor gym called Boulder City. 287 00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:55,155 Okay, this is crazy. 288 00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:57,257 I was just telling my mother I wanted to go there. 289 00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,426 Oh, well, my mom just gave me free passes. 290 00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:01,729 That's so weird. : Oh... 291 00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:05,332 What? Ah... 292 00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:07,334 Think about it, dummy. 293 00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,903 You tell Mom you want to go to that place, 294 00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:12,439 and her mom just happened to give her passes. 295 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:13,974 Well, that could be a coincidence. 296 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:17,044 Yeah, though now that I think about it, 297 00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:19,913 my mother was crazy adamant that I return that book 298 00:11:19,947 --> 00:11:22,049 between 9:00 and 9:30. 299 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,718 Which is exactly when my mother insisted 300 00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:25,919 I come over for breakfast. 301 00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:27,120 And that jacket 302 00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:29,056 I was wearing from your favorite store? 303 00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:30,390 She gave it to me last week. 304 00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:31,491 ANDREW: Wait. 305 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:32,926 Mom still buys you clothes? 306 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,729 That's so lame, a-and unfair. 307 00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:37,364 Oh, my God. She's the one who bought me 308 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,800 those Rosetta Stone "Learn Italian" CDs. 309 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,468 And then she played the music, which reminded me 310 00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:42,936 of living in Italy, which... 311 00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,137 Which led to our first kiss. 312 00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:46,339 Dudes, you have been mom-nipulated. 313 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:49,743 Well, what's the difference how you got here? 314 00:11:49,777 --> 00:11:51,211 You guys obviously like each other. 315 00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:52,512 That's not the point. That's not the point. 316 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,147 Then what is? 317 00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:55,949 That my mother said she wouldn't meddle, 318 00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,484 and she's meddled more than she's ever meddled. 319 00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:59,219 What do you suppose their next move is gonna be? 320 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:02,155 I think the real question is: what's our next move? 321 00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:05,125 What do you mean? I mean, how about we have a little fun with them? 322 00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:06,927 Exact a little revenge? 323 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,261 Ooh, now we're talking. 324 00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:10,263 Ooh, should you get me pregnant? 325 00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:25,512 Don't be crazy, they would love that. 326 00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:27,848 Oh, thank God you are here. You have no idea 327 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:29,082 what I have been through tonight. 328 00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:30,851 I am straight-up frazzled. 329 00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:32,185 Did Wyatt give you problems? 330 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:34,054 Oh, not Wyatt. Your dad. 331 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,489 First, he burnt the milk. 332 00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:38,959 Then, he burnt his finger on the milk. 333 00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:40,493 Then, he burnt his tongue 334 00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:43,330 licking the burnt milk off his burnt finger. 335 00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,365 All I'm hearing is that my father-in-law tasted 336 00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:47,100 my breast milk. 337 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:50,237 Look, your dad is like a giant toddler on steroids, 338 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,272 eating everything in front of him, breaking things, 339 00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:53,573 having a fit when you won't 340 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,942 watch his show he wants to watch-- 341 00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:57,544 oh, and then there's the actual baby. 342 00:12:57,577 --> 00:13:00,347 It has been nothing but mayhem in here. 343 00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,149 Well, it seems quiet now. 344 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:03,483 Oh, yeah, well, once I swaddled him, 345 00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:04,918 then he finally fell asleep. 346 00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:06,786 Wyatt? Mm-mm. 347 00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,496 Knock, knock. 348 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,531 See, I don't mind if you just say it. 349 00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:21,068 Ma, I have something really exciting to tell you. 350 00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:23,270 I think Lauren's the one. 351 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,138 I want a spring wedding. 352 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:27,841 Oh. Of course, it's none of my business. 353 00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:30,143 Oh, God, it's gonna be the happiest day of my life. 354 00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:31,311 Of you life. 355 00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:33,113 Of our life. 356 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,381 I want to move in with her right away. 357 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:36,549 Of course you do. When you know, you know. 358 00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,151 That's right, and here's the best part... 359 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,519 Yeah. We're moving to London. 360 00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,288 London, New York? 361 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,422 London, England. 362 00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:43,857 Lauren got an incredible job offer, 363 00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:45,025 and I'm gonna do theater. 364 00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,393 We're leaving this Friday. 365 00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:48,028 Friday? 366 00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:49,596 I agree, it's fast, but like you just said, 367 00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:51,431 when you know, you know. 368 00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:54,935 Oh, so this is the time you decide to start listening to me? 369 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:57,170 Everything just feels so right. I mean, think about it. 370 00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:59,039 If I hadn't been at your place for breakfast, 371 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:02,142 or i-if Myra had just decided to return that book herself, 372 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,944 I wouldn't have reconnected with Lauren 373 00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:06,613 and be moving halfway across the world. 374 00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,281 God, isn't fate funny? 375 00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:10,050 : Oh. Hilarious. 376 00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:12,152 Yeah. 377 00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:17,958 She fell for it hook, line and sinker. 378 00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:20,560 Let me know how it goes with your mom. 379 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,429 Josh is moving to London? 380 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,064 I'll tell you something, Nick. 381 00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,598 This is the first time I've ever considered 382 00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:28,135 spanking one of my children. 383 00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,102 You know, it's moments like this, 384 00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:31,038 it's good Ernesto keeps wine under the desk. 385 00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:33,140 Myra and I are beside ourselves. 386 00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,308 Talk about a colossal backfire. 387 00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:36,476 You want red or white? 388 00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:38,378 Do you have rosé? 389 00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:41,414 You know I do, Mama Bear, you know I do. 390 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:46,219 Shame on me for creating such a perfect union. 391 00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:48,521 Shame on me for opening myself to Josh like I have. 392 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,457 You know what I said? I said, "Nick, 393 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,392 you're gonna get hurt again," and you know what? 394 00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:53,660 I was right. 395 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,228 So was I. 396 00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:56,429 It's my curse. 397 00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:58,131 Sure, I'm an amazing matchmaker, 398 00:14:58,165 --> 00:15:00,200 but at what cost? 399 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:03,703 I mean, just today, Josh invited me to a Knicks game next Sunday. 400 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,172 And I got happy and excited... 401 00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:06,639 Wait a minute. 402 00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,341 He's going to London on Friday. 403 00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:10,477 Why would he invite you to a game Sunday? 404 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:13,080 'Cause he's a good man, and now he's moving to London and-- 405 00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:15,115 oh, my damn, Mrs. Roberts, he lied to you. 406 00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:18,251 Oh, my damn, indeed. 407 00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:22,255 Nick, it seems I am being played. 408 00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:25,392 You know what happens to people who play me? 409 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,960 What? 410 00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:28,728 I don't know. No one's ever had the balls 411 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,231 to do it before. 412 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,503 All right, I just put Wyatt down, 413 00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:38,138 and he should be asleep soon. 414 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:41,274 All right. Sex and then Netflix, or Netflix and then sex? 415 00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:42,642 Both at the same time? 416 00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:43,743 Yeah, I love that. 417 00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:46,146 Hey. 418 00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,647 Uh, can I talk to you guys? 419 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,282 Of course, Harry. 420 00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:50,683 I've been thinking about last night, 421 00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:53,086 and I-I realized something. 422 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,422 That when swaddled tight enough, you can sleep 423 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:58,691 for 16 hours straight on someone else's couch? 424 00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:01,561 That you guys don't think I'm a good babysitter. 425 00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:03,363 What? 426 00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:04,531 That's... 427 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,033 Andrew. 428 00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,169 Dad. 429 00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:10,737 You're a fantastic babysitter. 430 00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:13,073 You can watch him any time. 431 00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:15,208 Uh, no, I know why Nick was here. 432 00:16:15,242 --> 00:16:17,577 And as much as I want to spend time with Wyatt, 433 00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:19,212 no-- I'll just wait till he's nine 434 00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:21,381 and take him out for a beer. 435 00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,183 Sounds good, Dad. 436 00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:24,651 : We'll deal with it then. 437 00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,586 Okay. I'm gonna go and give him a kiss good night. 438 00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:27,654 Okay. 439 00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:30,623 Aw. Now I feel bad. 440 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,592 Yeah, me, too. 441 00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,227 Should we go? Yeah, we-we better. 442 00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:35,328 Okay. 443 00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:36,763 Oh, wait. No. Stop. 444 00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,465 What? 445 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:41,534 He just wants to kiss Wyatt good night. 446 00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:44,537 And he did raise you just fine. 447 00:16:44,571 --> 00:16:47,340 Mm, he dropped me once, but other than that, pretty solid. 448 00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:48,475 Yeah. 449 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,542 So we should trust him. 450 00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:51,511 All right. 451 00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:53,513 Enough to watch on the monitor. 452 00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:55,248 Yeah, okay. 453 00:16:55,282 --> 00:16:58,085 HARRY: My grandfather used to take me 454 00:16:58,118 --> 00:17:01,488 on the train to Prospect Park in Brooklyn, 455 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:06,259 where we would eat snow cones and go fishing for trout. 456 00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:07,494 Aw. 457 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,062 That's so sweet. 458 00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:12,532 And someday I'm gonna take you there. 459 00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:17,404 It's now a popular spot for homeless people to bathe. 460 00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:20,107 But still fun. 461 00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,611 You're a great kid. 462 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:29,449 Even if your parents are totally neurotic. 463 00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,384 Don't worry. 464 00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:35,555 You'll be able to handle them a lot easier when you grow up, 465 00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,090 and I introduce you 466 00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:40,493 to a fun little treat called marijuana. 467 00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,630 Just kidding, you two. 468 00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:45,498 I know you're listening. 469 00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:53,306 Okay, right this way. 470 00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:55,475 Mom 471 00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:58,245 Oh, don't mind us, Sanjay's just here to look at the apartment. 472 00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:00,647 I'm sorry, Sanjay. I didn't realize 473 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,250 the current tenant would be here. 474 00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:05,418 This apartment 475 00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,587 Um, what is happening? 476 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,656 Well, since you two are moving to London on Friday, 477 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,691 I wanted to get a jump on renting the place. 478 00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,326 Is this a bad time? 479 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,462 Oh, it's a perfect time. Take a look at this 480 00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:17,564 spacious chef's kitchen. 481 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,133 Wow. She really thinks we're moving. 482 00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:21,301 I don't think she does. 483 00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:22,535 I think she's calling our bluff. 484 00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:24,537 And you know what? I'm gonna call hers. 485 00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:27,174 Cool. I'm gonna try to find my underwear. 486 00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:28,575 Cool. 487 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:32,345 Sanjay, I have to tell you something. 488 00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:33,613 And what is that? 489 00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:37,150 You'd be very happy in this apartment. 490 00:18:37,184 --> 00:18:38,718 Huh? 491 00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,420 I think I found 'em! 492 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:41,821 What's wrong, Mom? 493 00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:42,789 Not a thing. 494 00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:46,226 I also think that Sanjay would be happy here. 495 00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:47,560 So what do you say, Sanjay? 496 00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:49,329 I'll take it. 497 00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:50,697 You hear that, Josh? He'll take it. 498 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:51,831 I did hear that. 499 00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:53,166 Great news, Lauren. 500 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,501 Sanjay's moving in. 501 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,338 So now what, Mom? 502 00:18:58,371 --> 00:18:59,639 Now he signs the lease. 503 00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:01,741 Oh. Okay. Like you prepared an actual... 504 00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:03,610 Here you go. You prepared a lease? 505 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,911 Uh-huh. 506 00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,213 Um, what's happening? 507 00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:08,548 What's happening is 508 00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,217 the apartment's not available. 509 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:11,751 That's right. 510 00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:14,354 The apartment is not available, is it? 511 00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:16,656 Took the day off work to come here. 512 00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:20,227 I got 'em. And I'm gonna go put them on in the bathroom. 513 00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:21,328 Sorry about this. 514 00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:22,695 Used to it. Same brand of mother. 515 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:25,365 Right. 516 00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:27,567 Why'd you say you were moving to London? 517 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,402 Because you pretended you had nothing to do with this, 518 00:19:29,436 --> 00:19:31,538 when, actually, the whole time, you were... 519 00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:32,605 Helping. 520 00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:33,606 Meddling. 521 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,609 Josh, I just want you to find the right girl. 522 00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,345 I know you do, and I like Lauren, 523 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:40,247 but it's never gonna work unless you back off 524 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,748 and give us some space. 525 00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:43,216 You're right. From now on, 526 00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:44,717 I'm gonna mind my own business. 527 00:19:44,751 --> 00:19:45,885 You've said that before. 528 00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,854 Well, this time I give you my word. 529 00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,322 You gave me your word last time. 530 00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:50,657 Well, this time I swear. 531 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:51,791 You swore last time. 532 00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,560 Josh, no matter what I say, 533 00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:56,629 we both know I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do. 534 00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:58,631 Well, you're nothing if not consistent. 535 00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:00,633 And you are a worthy adversary. 536 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:01,968 I can't believe you actually brought someone here 537 00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,336 to rent my apartment. 538 00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:04,437 : I know, right? 539 00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:05,505 Yeah. 540 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:06,673 Oh, that's my next showing. 541 00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:09,742 Hello. 542 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:16,849 Good morning. 543 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,885 Thank you. This is nice. 544 00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:21,020 Yeah. Mm-hmm. 545 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,723 So how long do you think we have before Lucy and Ethel barge in? 546 00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:26,959 Maybe an hour? 547 00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:29,296 Good morning, lovebirds. 548 00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:30,430 Nope. 549 00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:32,465 We brought breakfast in bed. 550 00:20:32,499 --> 00:20:34,967 Mm-hmm. And while we're here, let's talk wedding. 551 00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,603 I'll be wearing white. 552 00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:38,438 That's non-negotiable. 553 00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:41,774 Well, it was really nice trying this with you. 554 00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:43,943 You know, I think I'm actually gonna move to London. 555 00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:45,978 Good call. 556 00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:57,690 Captioning sponsored by CBS 557 00:20:57,724 --> 00:20:59,726 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 558 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,728 * La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la * 559 00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,331 * La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la * 560 00:21:04,364 --> 00:21:06,333 * La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la * 561 00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:09,369 * Come on, won't you take me home? * 40042

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.