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1
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,809
So, how was your date
last night?
2
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,479
I would say my date
was the opposite of good.
3
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,447
Oh, these are
my favorite stories.
4
00:00:13,481 --> 00:00:15,516
Was it worse than the girl
who stole your wallet?
5
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:18,186
Or the one
who was older than me? Oh.
6
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:19,787
Or the hot woman
who catfished you
7
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:21,589
but turned out to be
your super cool brother
8
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,224
messing with you?
(Josh chuckles)
9
00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:25,226
You're a doctor.
Shouldn't you be saving lives
10
00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:26,260
instead of messing with them?
11
00:00:26,294 --> 00:00:27,828
I can do both.
12
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,797
Well, this girl
spent the entire night
13
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:31,532
on the phone
with her ex-boyfriend,
14
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:35,303
who, by the end of our date,
was no longer her ex-boyfriend.
15
00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:37,671
Aw, they worked things out.
16
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:39,140
Yeah.
17
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,641
Josh, hang in there.
You may go on
18
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:43,711
a lot of bad dates, but one day,
when you least expect it,
19
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:45,713
you'll decide to give up
and settle.
20
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:47,348
Guys, best news ever!
21
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:50,484
The nanny said yes.
22
00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:52,720
Sara? Sara picked us
over all the other families?
Yeah.
23
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:54,222
Yes. Do you know what
this means, Andrew?
24
00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:56,390
We are gonna be able
to go see a movie.
25
00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:57,725
In the theater.
26
00:00:57,758 --> 00:00:59,327
(chuckles) After two
months of looking,
27
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:03,264
starting tomorrow, we
have a full-time nanny.
28
00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:05,266
Well, I don't know
what you need with a nanny
29
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:07,135
when you have
the world's greatest grandmother
30
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:09,570
who's happy to keep watching
the baby for free.
31
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:13,307
Judy, I think we both know the
emotional cost here is high.
32
00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:18,312
Okay, 7:00.
Time for my shows.
33
00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:20,381
Everybody out.
60 Minutes is starting,
34
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,283
and I don't want to miss
any of the minutes.
35
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,418
And the Discovery Channel
is having a marathon
36
00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:26,120
of Naked and Afraid.
They're naked.
37
00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:27,721
They're afraid. I'm hooked.
38
00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,723
Why won't you guys
just get a DVR?
39
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,459
Yeah. You're, like,
the last two people on Earth
40
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,494
who still watch TV in real time.
Yeah.
41
00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:37,365
Guys, don't try to impose
your modern ways on the Amish.
42
00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:40,534
Get out! You just made me miss
two of the minutes.
43
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:48,409
Oh, my God.
44
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,444
Our place
has never looked so clean.
45
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:52,280
I don't even see any
of Wyatt's stuff.
46
00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:53,314
Yeah.
47
00:01:53,347 --> 00:01:56,284
No toys. No burp cloths.
48
00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:58,186
It's super quiet in here.
49
00:01:58,219 --> 00:01:59,787
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
50
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:02,390
The nanny kidnapped our baby?
51
00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:05,526
She's the best thing
that ever happened to us.
52
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:07,761
Oh, my God. She made us dinner.
53
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,597
What...? (gasps)
54
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,233
(voice breaks):
Risotto.
55
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:14,235
Are you crying?
56
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:16,904
I think the bigger question is:
why aren't you?
57
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,839
Hey, guys.
Oh, hi.
58
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,441
Welcome home.
Hey.
59
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:21,742
Oh.
The little man's been fed
60
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:24,445
and bathed, and he's
all ready for bed.
61
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,480
Thank you.
62
00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:28,216
Mm. (chuckles)
63
00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:29,683
Is there anything
else you guys need?
64
00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:33,221
Just a rope to tie you up with
so you can never leave.
65
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:34,688
(chuckles) She's kidding.
You're scaring her.
66
00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:36,257
Okay.
67
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:37,791
Well, we had a great
first day, right?
68
00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:40,261
Good night, little
cutie patootie. (gasps)
69
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:42,363
Look at you, all snug
as a bug in a rug. Huh?
70
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:44,465
(chuckles)
I'll see you guys tomorrow.
71
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,534
Okay.
I'll miss you.
72
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,437
Hi.
73
00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:50,404
Hi.
74
00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:51,605
Josh.
75
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:52,573
Sara.
76
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,242
Ah, the wonder nanny.
77
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:56,444
I hear you do a mean
"Wheels on the Bus."
78
00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:59,280
Well, you know, they
do go round and round.
79
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:00,348
(laughs)
80
00:03:00,381 --> 00:03:01,649
Still? Boy, they're really
81
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,217
committed to that, aren't they?
(laughs)
82
00:03:03,251 --> 00:03:04,852
I'll see you later.
Okay. Bye.
83
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:09,390
That's your nanny?
Is she single?
84
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:11,392
Don't even think about it.
Never happening.
85
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:13,627
Josh, I'm gonna say
something to you,
86
00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:16,497
and I want you to nod so
I know you understand.
87
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,800
You are not going to date
our nanny.
88
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:21,635
"I understand."
89
00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:23,804
All right. All right.
She's really cute.
90
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:26,507
She is really off-limits.
Why?
91
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,510
Because it would blur a lot of
lines and make things weird.
92
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,644
Yeah, like the time
I saw my therapist
93
00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:32,880
rollerblading shirtless
in Central Park.
94
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:34,448
You see a therapist?
95
00:03:34,482 --> 00:03:35,583
They're my parents, too.
96
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:37,251
Huh. All right.
97
00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:39,720
* La, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la *
98
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:42,456
* Come on,
won't you take me home? *
99
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:50,964
(door opens)
100
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:52,433
Hello.
101
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:54,502
Mom and Dad,
I have a huge surprise.
102
00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:55,969
(gasps) Wyatt looked
at a picture of me
103
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:57,538
and said "Mommy"?
104
00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:00,308
No. I bought you a new TV.
105
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,643
Is that a new TV?
106
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:04,378
Yes, I just said that.
107
00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:06,547
Where is our old TV?
108
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,749
I donated it
to the Natural History Museum.
109
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:11,885
Neanderthal man
is watching it in a diorama.
110
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:15,356
Why would you do this to us?
111
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:18,058
What, uh,
this incredibly nice gift?
112
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,061
We told you
we like our old system.
113
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,397
Just trust me,
you're gonna like this more.
114
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,299
Okay?
Here are your new remotes.
115
00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:26,534
Oh, my God! Two?
116
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,469
There are two of them?
117
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:30,871
Judy, I don't like it.
118
00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:32,606
No, we don't want any of this.
119
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,476
Change is a young
man's game.
120
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,645
Just give it a chance, okay?
121
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:40,748
With this system,
you can watch any show anytime.
122
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:41,915
Any show?
123
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,851
Anytime?
124
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:45,953
I just said
both of those things.
125
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:48,556
All you need to do is sign up
for a streaming service
126
00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:49,523
and pay the monthly fee.
127
00:04:49,557 --> 00:04:51,625
(laughs):
Oh, a monthly fee.
128
00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:54,462
Well, that's not a gift.
That's a burden.
129
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:56,630
Absolutely. An expensive burden.
130
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:58,432
I didn't even tell you
how much it costs.
131
00:04:58,466 --> 00:04:59,667
Why would you assume
it's expensive?
132
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:00,634
What if it's a nickel a month?
133
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,670
Is it a nickel a month?
No.
134
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,638
Nothing is a nickel a month.
135
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:06,674
I was making a point. It's...
136
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,642
It is ten bucks.
137
00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:09,943
Per month?
138
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:12,546
Every month?
139
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:14,548
That's considerably more
than a nickel.
140
00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:16,417
I will pay for it.
I will pay for it.
141
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,486
I will sign you up,
and I will pay for it.
142
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:19,653
You watch your tone, mister.
143
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:23,424
He stole our
perfectly good TV,
144
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:25,726
he gave us a gift
we have to pay for,
145
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,728
and now he's yelling at us.
You know what?
146
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,730
I'm gonna remove myself
from this situation
147
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,565
so we don't have a repeat
of the time
148
00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:33,901
I tried to teach you
how to use your fax machine.
149
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:37,070
Oh, you mean when
you threw it over the balcony
150
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:39,006
and almost killed someone?
151
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:41,609
No, that was a microwave!
152
00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:45,679
So, who's gonna teach us
to work this complicated TV?
153
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:47,515
Don't worry. I got a guy.
154
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:48,916
All right, all right.
155
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:51,819
Mr. and Mrs. Roberts, put on
your old-timey swimsuits,
156
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,787
'cause we going
channel surfing.
157
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,591
(elevator bell dings)
158
00:05:59,627 --> 00:06:01,929
Hey.
Hey.
159
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:03,697
Every time a door opens,
there you are.
160
00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:04,765
(laughs)
161
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,634
Well, you know what they say:
162
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:08,702
when one door closes,
there's Josh.
163
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,672
Actually, no one says that.
(elevator bell dings)
164
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,774
Anyway, I should
probably... Oh, okay.
165
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,108
Uh, missed it.
166
00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:17,811
Maybe the universe
is trying to tell us something.
167
00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:20,681
Yeah, like, "This is
your nephew's nanny." (chuckles)
168
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,985
"You better take the stairs."
Which I'm gonna.
169
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:27,821
I was thinking it was saying
maybe we should hang out.
170
00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:29,657
Want to grab a drink?
171
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,725
Okay. I mean, who am I to argue
172
00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:33,527
with the universe, right?
(elevator bell dings)
173
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,399
Let's not overthink it. Come on.
174
00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:43,571
Okay, okay. Um,
175
00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:44,872
I think that you guys
are ready to try this.
176
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,006
How you feel? You feel good?
177
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:48,208
No. Not at all.
No.
178
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,177
Okay, well, it don't matter,
179
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,212
because I believe in you,
and I believe in you.
180
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,516
Okay? Now, Mr. Roberts,
what's the first step?
181
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:58,719
Well, I pick up the
large remote...
182
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:04,057
...and I press the
red "on" button.
183
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:06,794
That's my dawg.
184
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:09,229
I am your dawg.
185
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,898
Yeah.
186
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,601
Okay, Mrs. Roberts, what's next?
187
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:16,470
Oh, Nick,
I'm so nervous. I...
188
00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:18,906
We're not streaming people,
you know?
Hey, hey, hey.
189
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,774
Don't you give up on me,
mama bear.
190
00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:22,075
Okay? You can do this.
191
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:25,112
All right. Okay. Uh...
192
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:29,116
for streaming service,
press "input"?
193
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,519
Oh, you get down
with your bad self!
194
00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:34,988
Oh, look, so many choices.
195
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:37,090
Well, now we can watch
all the fancy shows,
196
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,792
just like our friends.
Yeah.
197
00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:40,093
Hey, you know
what this means, right?
198
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:40,761
Huh?
What?
199
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,663
Y'all are streaming people.
200
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:44,097
(laughs)
Oh, we're streaming.
201
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:45,833
We're streaming people.
202
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:48,502
We're streaming people.
(laughs)
203
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,973
Hey. So...
Hey.
204
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:55,075
I just wanted
to circle back on that whole
205
00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:57,244
"I can't date your nanny" thing.
206
00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:59,547
What did you do?
207
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:02,015
So, what would be the worst
thing I could have done?
208
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:03,851
Have sex with her.
209
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:04,718
I did not do that.
210
00:08:04,752 --> 00:08:05,719
Oh, thank God.
211
00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:06,720
But we did kiss.
212
00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:07,921
Damn it, Josh!
Son of a bitch!
213
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:09,156
I'm sorry.
214
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,691
I'm sorry. She asked me out,
215
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:11,925
and I didn't want to say
that you said
216
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:13,226
I couldn't date her
because I didn't think
217
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:14,194
that would reflect well on you.
218
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:16,730
Oh, so you hooked up
with her to protect us?
219
00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:19,733
Yes, I did. You are welcome.
220
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:23,103
Look, guys,
she is so cute and caring,
221
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,539
and you know how hard it's been
for me to find someone.
222
00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:27,908
And you know how hard it's been
for us to find someone.
223
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,010
Yeah, but there's no reason
Sara can't go out with me
224
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,879
and be your nanny
at the same time.
225
00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:32,946
Uh, here's a reason.
226
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,848
What happens when she gets
sick of you and quits
227
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,784
'cause she can't stand
being one apartment over
228
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,018
from her annoying
ex-boyfriend?
229
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:39,653
Ooh, I'll tell you what happens.
230
00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:41,121
We lose our perfect nanny.
231
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:43,090
And then we kill you.
232
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,593
Guys, I think I really like her.
233
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:46,960
Are you prepared
to say you love her, Josh?
234
00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:49,630
'Cause I am. I love her.
235
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:51,899
Look, if you really
don't want me to date her,
236
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:52,866
just say the word.
237
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,068
The word.
238
00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:56,804
Babe, sidebar.
239
00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:01,775
Look, this has been
such a crap year for him.
240
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:04,678
Okay? The divorce,
his show getting cancelled,
241
00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:07,180
so few sexual noises
coming through the walls.
242
00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:11,284
All unfortunate
and not my problem.
243
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:13,654
He's my brother.
Maybe we should, like,
244
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:16,156
I don't know, take his
happiness into account.
245
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,358
Wow, I'm a good person.
(sighs)
246
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,327
Fine.
247
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:24,197
I guess you have
our very lukewarm blessing.
248
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:25,933
Thank you. Thank you.
249
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:27,300
You won't regret this.
250
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:29,202
And since we're having
an honest moment,
251
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:31,038
we did a lot more than kiss.
252
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,607
See you later.
253
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,811
Isn't this nice, Judy?
(chuckles)
254
00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:40,748
Watching together instead
of in separate rooms.
255
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,082
Yeah.
256
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:43,684
Mmm.
257
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,385
Okay, we have to pick a show.
258
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,788
I like this one.
It's so peaceful.
259
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,923
Harry, this is
a screensaver.
260
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:54,161
Okay. Oh!
261
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:57,197
My Pilates instructor
says Mad Men is pretty good.
262
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:59,399
Okay. Uh, let's watch
263
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,235
and find out why
those men are so mad.
264
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,843
Ooh, your feet
are so cold.
265
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:11,244
Oh.
Here you go.
266
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:13,981
Look at you all
snug as a bug in a rug.
267
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:14,982
(laughs)
268
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:16,950
That's cute.
269
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:19,019
Josh? Oh.
Oh, hi, Sara.
270
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:20,988
I'm sorry
to interrupt.
271
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:23,724
It's just, Andrew's at work
and your parents aren't home,
272
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:25,292
and I just got called
into the hospital.
273
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,928
Would you mind watching Wyatt
for a bit?
274
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,262
Uh, Eve, I'm
sorry, I can't.
275
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,364
I'm meeting a director
for drinks in an hour.
276
00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:32,900
I can watch Wyatt.
277
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:33,867
Really?
278
00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:35,068
Yeah. I'd love to.
279
00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:37,137
You're a lifesaver.
280
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,139
Wow. I guess it's
kind of a good thing
281
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:43,010
Sara was over here with me
so she could save the day.
282
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,778
Huh? How about that?
283
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,113
I get what you're saying.
284
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,081
I'll be right over
to give the little guy a bath
285
00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:49,449
and get him
in his jammies.
286
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,885
Thank you.
I love you.
287
00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:56,957
I know it's too soon to say,
but sometimes you just know.
288
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:01,829
Hey, I have an idea.
289
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,463
Yes.
290
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:06,366
How about when you get back from
your meeting with the director,
291
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,936
I give you a bath?
292
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:11,071
I think I could
get into that.
293
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,006
Oh, you're gonna
get into it.
294
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:14,975
There's gonna be bubbles.
295
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,877
I am liking what
I'm hearing.
296
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:18,912
I'm gonna wash you
everywhere.
297
00:11:18,946 --> 00:11:20,848
Uh-huh.
298
00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:25,986
And give you a rub-a-dub-dub
for your chubby-chub-chub.
299
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:30,190
I'm gonna powder your bottom
and give you the tickles
300
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:33,193
and help you wiggle into your
jammies, mister mister! Boop!
301
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:43,771
(laughs)
Ah.
302
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:46,406
Oh, hey, what's up, bro?
Hey.
303
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:48,976
So, I've been thinking.
304
00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:51,111
Sara's your nanny.
305
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:55,082
And I shouldn't do anything
to jeopardize that.
306
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:56,383
What are you talking about?
307
00:11:56,416 --> 00:12:00,020
Well, it's just, you know,
Wyatt is my top priority,
308
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,022
and I have to act
with him in mind.
309
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,858
What's wrong with her?
310
00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:06,860
She's weird,
and I'm gonna stop seeing her.
311
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,195
The hell you are!
312
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,197
What? Wha-What's that
supposed to mean?
313
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,899
Sara says
she really likes you.
314
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:14,301
And more importantly,
we really like her.
315
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:17,437
Thanks to Sara, Eve and I have
been eating delicious dinners,
316
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,172
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
exercising regularly,
317
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:20,808
and we have reconnected
318
00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:22,843
physically.
319
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:27,080
Well, I'm not gonna keep
dating someone I'm not into.
320
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:30,017
(laughs) See that's where
you're wrong, Joshie-boy.
321
00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:34,054
Because we said
it was a bad idea.
322
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,856
But you convinced
us otherwise.
323
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,557
So we got on board.
324
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:40,193
Yeah, and now the
nanny likes you.
325
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:43,897
Which means
you will not do anything
326
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:46,033
to upset the nanny,
327
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:47,868
'cause we've been
328
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:50,370
waiting for her
for a long time,
329
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:52,172
and she is
330
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,407
very important to us.
331
00:12:56,543 --> 00:13:00,080
So make it... work.
332
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,015
Is that a threat?
333
00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:03,516
Yes.
334
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,855
(slurping)
335
00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:14,461
Harry, please.
336
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:17,497
I could see what your Pilates
instructor was talking about.
337
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,166
(Mad Men theme music playing)
338
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:21,168
I'm trying to listen.
339
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:24,304
I like this
Mad Men show.
340
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:27,574
You've mentioned that
three times.
341
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:31,078
Though some of the women
seem to be mad, too.
342
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:34,214
(laughs):
For God's sake.
343
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:36,116
Zip it!
344
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,385
Okay, okay, I'm zipping.
345
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,491
(slurping)
346
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:50,497
There's my
streaming queen.
347
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:51,999
(laughs)
348
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,967
How's the new TV
treating you?
349
00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:57,070
Well, Harry's never been
happier, but I am in hell.
350
00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:59,339
Oh. What's the problem?
Talk to your boy.
351
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:02,475
Well, the man never stops
coughing or slurping
352
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:04,277
or blowing his nose.
353
00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:06,413
No matter what,
I get sprayed.
354
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:08,248
I hear that.
355
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,083
Mr. Roberts once sneezed all
the way from the elevator,
356
00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:12,085
and a little drizzle
hit me on the lip.
Oh.
357
00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:15,222
And worst of all, he talks
through all the lines.
358
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:17,424
I can't hear what's happening
in the program.
359
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:19,259
You know what? We had
a rule at my house.
360
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,894
Before anyone talks,
they got to say "pause,"
361
00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:22,362
and then we just
pause the TV.
362
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:25,098
We call it the "Aunt Eunice
Rule," after my Aunt Eunice.
363
00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:27,634
I'll tell you, that woman
never knows who that is
364
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:30,971
or why they doing that or how
come they going in there.
365
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:33,106
That's great!
A pause rule.
366
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:35,142
Why didn't I think of that?
367
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:36,609
(both chuckle)
368
00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:41,414
(orchestral music playing
over TV)
369
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,086
Oh. Oopsie.
370
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:48,155
You got a yucky.
Oh.
371
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:49,556
Yucky, yucky,
yucky, ooh!
Yeah, you know what? It's okay.
372
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:50,623
Okay, yeah. Thank you.
373
00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:53,961
I, uh... I got it.
374
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,228
What?
375
00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:57,564
Well...
(music stops)
376
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,566
It's just...
have you ever noticed
377
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:03,703
how sometimes you treat me
like I'm a... baby?
378
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,472
Do I?
379
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,707
Little bit. Little bit.
380
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,310
Oh, my God,
I'm so sorry.
381
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:13,380
I guess I'm just so used to
being around kids all the time,
382
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,248
I don't even realize
I'm doing it.
383
00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:17,250
You know what?
That actually makes sense.
384
00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:18,952
Sometimes when I'm preparing
for a role,
385
00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:20,487
I take my work home
with me.
386
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,656
I once played a homeless guy
and didn't shower for a week.
387
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:26,259
And how was
that for you?
388
00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:29,062
It was probably harder
for the people around me.
389
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:31,031
(both laugh)
390
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:34,267
Hey, do you want a massage?
I give a really good one.
391
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:37,270
Come on, let me, let me,
let me, let me. Let me.
Uh, okay, okay.
392
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:39,206
That would be... amazing.
393
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,141
Oh, my God.
394
00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:43,210
Sara, that is fantastic.
395
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,378
Thank you.
396
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:48,581
* Crack an egg on your head,
let the yolk drip down *
397
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:51,351
* Yolk drip down,
yolk drip down! *
398
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:53,220
Um, I'm sorry.
399
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:55,155
What is happening right now?
400
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:57,590
* Cool breeze,
tight squeeze *
401
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,459
* Now you've got the,
now you've got the... *
402
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,061
Please stop all that.
403
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:02,429
But I didn't give
you the chills.
404
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:05,365
Oh, but you have.
405
00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:08,601
Oh, goodness,
I hope that...
406
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:11,204
Harry, remember the rule.
407
00:16:11,238 --> 00:16:13,306
Yes, of course.
408
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:16,076
Uh, pause.
409
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,378
Yes?
410
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,647
Well, now I forget.
411
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:25,385
(Mad Men theme music playing)
412
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,387
Wait. Pause.
413
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:29,022
(music stops)
414
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:33,226
That guy in yellow looks
like a friend of mine.
415
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:37,364
Pauses are just for
bathroom breaks and questions.
416
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,532
Fine.
417
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,634
(music resumes)
418
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:43,103
Pause.
419
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:44,237
(music stops)
420
00:16:44,271 --> 00:16:46,406
I know I just took
a bathroom break,
421
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:49,642
but now that you mentioned it,
I feel like I have to go again.
422
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,079
(sighs)
423
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:55,215
Nope. False alarm.
424
00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:57,417
Un-pause.
425
00:16:57,450 --> 00:17:01,421
Harry, I just remembered why
we started watching television
426
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:04,291
in separate rooms
in the first place.
427
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:07,160
What was it?
You.
428
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:10,497
I don't mean
to hurt your feelings,
429
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:14,367
but this is becoming
really unpleasant for me.
430
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:17,304
Well, it's unpleasant
for me, too!
431
00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:19,406
Wait. Really?
432
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:21,774
I am in hell!
433
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:26,213
With you here, I can't
chew the way I like to,
434
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:29,816
and I-I can't scratch
places that I want to.
435
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:32,619
And I can't do
that thing I do
436
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:35,288
to get the itch
out of my throat.
437
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:38,691
So this is you holding back?
438
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:41,361
(clearing throat loudly)
439
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:46,366
I've been wanting to
do that for two days.
440
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:52,339
Harry, I've never
felt closer to you.
441
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:55,108
That is why I'm leaving
to watch in the bedroom.
442
00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:03,750
(sighs)
443
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:07,354
Guys, I am sorry,
but I had to break up with her.
444
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:08,688
You dumped our nanny?
445
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:10,423
Josh, we talked
about this.
446
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:13,126
But you don't understand.
She treated me like a baby.
447
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,628
And not like, "Ooh. Ooh, baby."
448
00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:17,397
Like a literal baby.
449
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,431
What do you mean?
450
00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:19,699
I mean, she burped me.
451
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,501
Ew! I don't want to know this!
452
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,436
Know what? The truth
about your perfect nanny.
453
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,405
Your perfect nanny
stuck her hand down my pants
454
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,906
to check if I was wet.
455
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,441
Oh!
Stop it!
456
00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:29,276
Oh, but there's more.
457
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:31,278
She asked me
to set up a play date
458
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:32,879
for my pee-pee and her wee-wee.
459
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:35,482
Oh. Pee-pee?
Wee-wee?
460
00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:37,150
I'm sorry, she may be
a great nanny,
461
00:18:37,184 --> 00:18:38,651
but she is not the girl for me.
462
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,353
(door opens, closes)
463
00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:42,355
She's a great nanny.
464
00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:44,491
Yeah. Yeah, I mean,
we can get past this.
465
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,559
Yeah. We're not gonna
let him ruin her for us.
466
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:49,529
Yeah, yeah, like, who cares
if she's a weird girlfriend?
467
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:51,298
Wyatt loves her.
Yeah, we love her.
468
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,433
Yeah. We can
make this work.
Mm-hmm.
469
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,768
Hey, guys!
470
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,304
Hi.
Hi. How was the park?
471
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:58,638
Great.
472
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:01,641
Somebody made a big pee-pee
with his wee-wee.
473
00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:06,513
You have to fire her.
I know a guy.
474
00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,548
All right, all right.
475
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,183
Hey, creepy baby lady.
476
00:19:10,217 --> 00:19:14,287
Uh, put down those diapers.
Uh, you out. Come on.
477
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:26,466
Pause.
478
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,768
Yes, my darling.
479
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:31,371
I just want to say
how much I am enjoying
480
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:35,842
watching the same program at
the same time in separate rooms.
481
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,677
I love that, too.
482
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,512
Mm.
483
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:42,782
Judy?
484
00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:44,917
Yes, Harry?
Can you believe
485
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:47,787
how the mad men
drank so much at work?
486
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,792
Those were the days.
487
00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:54,694
What are we doing tomorrow?
488
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:57,930
We'll talk
about that tomorrow.
489
00:19:57,964 --> 00:19:59,532
Hey, did you understand...?
490
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:01,301
Shutting the door,
Harry!
491
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:03,336
(door closes)
492
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,610
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
493
00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:14,814
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
494
00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:17,617
* La, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la *
495
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:19,819
* La, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la *
496
00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:22,021
* La, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la *
497
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,824
* Come on,
won't you take me home? *
35350
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