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1
00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:08,042
Would you look
at this gorgeous baby?
2
00:00:08,076 --> 00:00:10,278
Ah, I just want to eat
him and squeeze him
3
00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:13,447
and chew on his
squishy, little tushy.
4
00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:17,751
What are you guys doing?
5
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:20,788
Oh, pretend we're not here.
We just want to watch.
6
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:22,290
Okay.
We've been waiting 12 years
7
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,592
for you to leave L.A.
and move back to New York.
8
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,360
Did you see what
we put up on the wall?
9
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:29,363
Yes. Amazingly, I did
manage to catch that.
10
00:00:29,397 --> 00:00:30,631
Detective Mike Cross.
11
00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:32,333
You were the best
thing on television.
12
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,468
How was the flight?
Are you hungry?
13
00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:35,836
Thirsty? Cold?
Hot?
14
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,771
I'm good, I'm good.
15
00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:39,773
Again, and I can't
stress this enough,
16
00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,709
I'm only staying here
temporarily.
17
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:43,477
Ah, we'll see.
18
00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:46,314
You're exactly
where you should be.
19
00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:48,816
Surrounded by
your loving family
20
00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:51,319
in the apartment we kept
because we knew one day
21
00:00:51,352 --> 00:00:53,221
you'd get divorced
from that cold woman
22
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:54,822
who didn't know
a good thing.
23
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:57,525
Hey, look who fell
off the poster!
24
00:00:57,558 --> 00:01:00,261
Hey!
Hey!
25
00:01:00,294 --> 00:01:01,495
"A prenup?
26
00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:02,763
"I don't need a prenup.
27
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:05,399
This marriage
is gonna last forever."
28
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:06,867
Hello, Andrew.
29
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,769
Now she's got your house,
your money,
30
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,572
and you're living next to your
parents like a ten-year-old.
31
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:15,476
You are also living next to our
parents like a ten-year-old.
32
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:18,479
Just until the renovations on
our sweet new duplex are done.
33
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:19,713
It's gonna be sick.
34
00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:22,516
TVs and heated toilets
in every bathroom.
35
00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:24,452
Do the toilets have that water
that shoots up?
36
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:27,421
You know, if you aim just right,
it gives your business a tszuj.
37
00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:28,622
Oh, my God.
38
00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:31,292
Yay! Welcome home, Uncle Josh.
39
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:32,560
Hey, Eve!
EVE: Say hi.
40
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,162
What's up, Wyatt?
Say hi.
41
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:36,464
Mwah. Mwah. Hi.
42
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,466
Eve, are you laying the baby
on his side?
43
00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:40,468
I don't want him to have
one of those flat heads
44
00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:41,569
like the boy in 8C.
45
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,171
His head is fine, Judy.
46
00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:44,405
Did you ask a pediatrician?
47
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,207
Yes, me.
I asked myself,
48
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,442
because, as you know,
I am a pediatrician.
49
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:53,347
Susan Stein told me you got a
4.8 out of 5 rating on Yelp.
50
00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:55,516
What happened to
the point two?
51
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,485
HARRY:
Do pediatricians know
52
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:59,487
anything about baby toes?
53
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:00,754
Because mine look strange.
54
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,256
(gasps)
Oh, God.
55
00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:03,191
What, does his toe
look bad?
56
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,526
I don't know.
His balls were in the way.
57
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:08,862
Okay, if you guys don't leave,
you're all gonna see mine.
58
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,531
Everybody out. I
need to get dressed.
59
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:11,565
Nice.
Good-bye.
60
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:12,866
Good-bye.
61
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,768
Baby.
Oh, there's Grandpa.
62
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,537
So, tell me.
63
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:17,871
You, too, Ma.
64
00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:19,840
Oh, please. I gave birth to you.
65
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:23,311
Those little balls
have been inside me.
66
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:25,579
It's good to be home.
67
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:28,249
* La, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la *
68
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:30,584
* Come on,
won't you take me home? *
69
00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:39,293
There he is.
70
00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:40,594
Welcome back, Josh.
71
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:41,529
Hey, Nick,
what's going on?
72
00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:44,832
Question. Uh, you know
Pattie DeFina in 8K?
73
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:46,634
Yeah, she and her husband
are just below me.
74
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,336
Yeah, well, last week,
she was just below me.
75
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,471
Okay, Nick, you know
how sometimes people
76
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,506
assume a familiarity
they haven't yet earned?
77
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,242
Aw, man, tell me about it.
78
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:56,244
My cousin has a stomach thing,
and every time I see him,
79
00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:57,645
he's like, "Hey, yo, Nick,
I got the runs again."
80
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,680
Yup, you got it.
You get what I mean.
81
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:01,515
Oh, uh, Josh, this is
my man Ian in 5A.
82
00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:02,883
Oh, hey, Ian.
83
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,552
Ian, you now live
in the same building
84
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:05,619
as a real, live TV star.
85
00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:06,687
Well, you know...
86
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,422
I don't watch TV. I prefer film.
87
00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:09,657
Got any movies coming out?
88
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,559
Uh, not at the moment, no.
89
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:13,261
My plan is to get back
into theater, you know?
90
00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,728
That's kind of why
I moved back to New York.
91
00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:15,863
Oh, I heard it was because
you lost all your money
92
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:16,664
in the divorce
and you're staying
93
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,732
with your parents for free.
Huh.
94
00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:19,800
You live with your parents?
95
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:22,570
Not with, next to.
Same thing.
96
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:23,937
No, it's not. It's not
the same thing at all.
97
00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:25,739
All right, guy, cool.
98
00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:27,775
You live next to your parents.
99
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:29,877
And don't you forget it.
100
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,779
(elevator bell dings)
101
00:03:33,781 --> 00:03:36,450
Hi, Joshy.
102
00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:37,818
I got your favorite
black and white cookies.
103
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:39,420
Want to come in for a visit?
104
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:41,489
Ah, I don't know, Ma.
I have to unpack and...
105
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,791
I've been waiting 12 years.
106
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:47,961
All right, yeah,
just for a little.
107
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,466
Oh, and then I ran
into Lynn Howard.
108
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,468
David's company went public,
109
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:57,638
but you were always in the
higher math group, so you win.
110
00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,607
Yay.
111
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,310
Judy, what did you do with
the number for the podiatrist?
112
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,978
I hid it in the freezer
just to torture you.
113
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:07,548
I have no idea.
114
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:10,651
Oh, and Helen's daughter
Marci is single.
115
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:11,652
Ma.
116
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:12,986
What? You picked
the first one.
117
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:14,822
Now it's my turn.
118
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:17,057
And I'm out.
119
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,626
Good-bye.
120
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,561
Josh, I need a favor.
121
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:25,566
I had an idea to promote the
firm's estate planning business.
122
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,635
We're gonna make a viral video.
123
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:30,638
Dad, you can't make
a viral video.
124
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:32,706
It just kind of goes viral
or it doesn't.
125
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,007
Well, this one does.
126
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:35,776
No, you don't... oh, okay.
127
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:37,411
And-and it would be terrific
if you starred in it.
128
00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:39,547
Aw, Dad, I-I'd love to,
but I'm really busy.
129
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:41,682
What are you so busy with?
130
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,717
Well, I have scripts to read.
I'm meeting with theater agents.
131
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,886
No problem. Forget I asked.
132
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:51,592
(sighs)
133
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:52,860
I'll do it.
134
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,462
You're not doing it.
135
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:56,630
No, I want to do it.
I don't want you to do it.
136
00:04:56,664 --> 00:05:00,568
Please, Dad, let me be
in this viral video for you.
137
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,670
Okay. If it means
that much to you.
138
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,938
Thank you so much.
139
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:08,576
The word is "no."
Say it with me. No.
140
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,644
Okay, I am perfectly capable
of saying no to them.
141
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:12,112
No way,
it's the blind cop.
142
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,547
Hey, man, how you doing?
143
00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:14,782
"I got 'em, Chief, I got 'em!"
144
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:17,751
(laughs)
That show sucked.
145
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:18,986
Thank you so much.
146
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:21,755
Oh, my God. Josh.
147
00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:23,557
Ugh, what is
with you people?
148
00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,393
Blind Cop sucked.
We all know it suck...
149
00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:26,894
No, no, no, Andrew,
this is Christina Jones.
150
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:29,363
We went to Michigan together.
Hi.
Hi.
151
00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:30,898
This is crazy. I didn't
know you were in the city.
152
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:32,366
Yeah.
153
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,034
I, uh, I'm gonna
let you guys catch up.
154
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,003
I got to head back
to the hospital.
155
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:37,738
Surgeon.
156
00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:39,840
How have you been, Josh?
157
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,410
Uh, well, I got divorced
and my show got canceled.
158
00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:44,712
Two things which sound really
bad but could maybe be good.
159
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,079
How about you?
160
00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:49,583
Uh, well, I just went
through a breakup myself.
161
00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:50,718
Yes.
162
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,686
Yes, that
must've been hard.
163
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:54,788
Yes. Well, it was
for the best.
164
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:56,557
His parents were
a nightmare.
165
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:57,891
So overbearing.
166
00:05:57,925 --> 00:06:01,495
Huh. I cannot relate
to that at all.
167
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:04,832
What up, fellas?
168
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:08,001
Things are looking up
for the kid.
169
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,671
Why? Did you get an audition?
170
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,441
No, I did not, but I did get
a date with Christina Jones.
171
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:14,542
NICK:
Hey.
172
00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:16,009
That's not gonna
pay the bills.
173
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:18,679
Ha. Got him.
174
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:19,813
My friend, Billy's father,
175
00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:21,815
is producing Paul Feig's
follow-up to Bridesmaids.
176
00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:23,617
It's called Groomies.
177
00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:27,087
Has some problems in the second
act, but they'll find it.
Oh.
178
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,122
You should ask your agent
about the role of doctor.
179
00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:31,992
Get that Blind Cop stink
off you.
180
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:33,827
Thank you, Ian,
181
00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:36,163
but I don't need career advice
from a 12-year-old.
182
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:39,132
It's called Groomies.
The role of the doctor.
183
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:42,002
Yeah, Danny, I know it'd be
a great job for me to get.
184
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:45,506
That's why I'm calling you,
my agent, to tell you about it.
185
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:46,940
Okay. Thank you.
186
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:49,176
(sighs)
187
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,579
*
188
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:01,855
Hi, Joshy.
189
00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:03,491
How? How do you always know?
190
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,425
We used to be one body.
191
00:07:10,498 --> 00:07:13,000
*
192
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,519
*
193
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,932
Yeah, so, any word
on the Paul Feig audition?
194
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,800
They don't believe
I could play a doctor?
195
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:50,504
I look like every doctor
I've ever been to.
196
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:52,673
All right, well,
thanks for checking.
197
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:53,941
HARRY:
Josh.
198
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,710
Sure. Why wouldn't
you be here?
199
00:07:56,744 --> 00:07:58,011
Costco closet.
200
00:07:58,045 --> 00:07:59,813
Ah.
It just so happens
201
00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:02,149
my classmate from law
school, Eddie Aberman,
202
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,785
represented Paul
Feig's cousin,
203
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,555
Barry, in his
IRS audit.
Ah.
204
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:10,190
Should I ask Eddie to fix up
a meeting for you and Paul?
205
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:11,825
Dad, one of the biggest
comedy directors in Hollywood
206
00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:13,694
is not gonna meet with me
207
00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:16,163
because of his cousin's
connection to Eddie Aberman.
208
00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:17,631
Do we have ketchup?
209
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:18,932
Do we have ketchup?
210
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:20,868
Oh.
211
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:23,604
Yeah. Mm.
212
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:24,838
You look nice.
213
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,239
Well, that's because
he's costarring
214
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:27,875
in my firm's video.
215
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:30,243
He practically begged
me to be in it.
216
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,580
(Josh groans)
217
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:34,582
I forgot about
that stupid video.
218
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:36,049
I'm dressed up
because I have a date tonight.
219
00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:38,752
Ooh, that girl from the park
who was checking me out?
220
00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:41,221
Don't tell Mom and Dad; they'll
want to meet her and feed her
221
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:43,557
and ask her about her ability
to have children.
Obviously.
222
00:08:43,591 --> 00:08:45,125
Wait, so let me
get this straight.
223
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:48,128
First date in eight years
or dad's sad video.
224
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,097
Oh, boy, that's a tough one.
225
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,765
I can do both.
226
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,567
How long can the video take?
227
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:55,969
Viral video, take 42.
228
00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,805
Okay, okay,
I got it this time.
229
00:08:57,838 --> 00:08:59,139
Good, good, good, good.
230
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:01,809
My father's death was so sudden,
and I'm overwhelmed
231
00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:03,977
by all the decisions
I have to make.
232
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:08,048
Well, luckily,
your father was ready
233
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:11,719
for just this moment
and hired...
234
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:15,022
Singer Sterling
to prepare the documents.
235
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,924
Nailed it! Perfect!
236
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:18,826
No notes.
Can't beat it!
237
00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:20,327
Yeah, felt good.
It wa good!
238
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:21,995
Got to go, Dad!
239
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,931
Acting's not hard.
240
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:28,235
(phone rings)
241
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,070
Hello?
MOLLY: Josh, this is Molly,
242
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:32,706
Andrew and Eve's babysitter.
You need to come home.
243
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,074
Oh, my God, did something
happen to the baby?
244
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:35,943
(crying): I don't know.
It's in the other room.
245
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,746
But I'm having a crisis.
246
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,614
My boyfriend just hooked up
with my best friend.
247
00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:42,149
And Andrew and Eve
aren't answering their phones.
248
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:43,917
Well, I'm barely gonna make
my date as it is.
249
00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:45,753
Go get my mother.
But don't mention the date.
250
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,354
Your mother's not home.
You have ten minutes.
251
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,723
No, I'm sorry, but no,
this is not my problem!
252
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,195
Hey. Sorry I'm a little late.
253
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:56,263
You look incredible.
254
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:57,264
Thanks.
255
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,767
You have a baby.
256
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,935
Oh. He's for you.
Flowers are so cliché.
257
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:03,403
(both laugh)
258
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,205
This is my nephew, Wyatt.
Babysitting snafu.
259
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,641
My brother and sister-in-law
should be here any second.
260
00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:08,709
He's cute.
261
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:11,044
Good thing, too, because
he is very self-absorbed.
262
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:12,813
Really?
Me, me, me, me, me.
263
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,748
Hey. Sorry.
264
00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,216
Hi.
Hi.
265
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,051
Sorry.
Thank you, Josh.
Yeah.
266
00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:19,152
You're our hero.
267
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:23,056
Actually, I'm the hero.
I crushed that escape room.
268
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:24,024
EVE:
Yeah, we got all the clues.
269
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,993
The other couples
got none.
270
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:28,829
Chiropractors are
so stupid. Right?
271
00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:30,430
Why'd you bring a baby
on a date?
272
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,232
It's, like,
the opposite of foreplay.
273
00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:34,835
It's pronounced "thank you."
And what are you doing?
274
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:35,969
Oh, sorry. Eve, sit.
275
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,671
No. Don't sit,
don't sit. Leave.
276
00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:39,973
Okay. You know,
277
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:42,375
you guys make a cute couple.
I hope it works out.
278
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:43,977
Aw, thank you
so much.
279
00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:45,679
You got to go.
You got to.
Okay.
280
00:10:45,713 --> 00:10:47,047
Nice meeting you.
281
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,016
Sorry about that.
282
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:51,218
Yeah.
283
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:53,754
I love you so much.
284
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,388
(Josh and Christina laugh)
285
00:10:55,422 --> 00:11:00,160
If college me knew I was on
a date with Christina Jones...
286
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,830
I mean, oh, my God,
I had the biggest crush on you.
287
00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:04,832
I had the biggest
crush on you.
288
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:06,133
You did?
I did.
289
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,769
Well, that is information
I wish college me had had.
290
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:10,337
(chuckles)
291
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,705
Mm.
292
00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:13,140
So...
So?
293
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:16,009
Should we maybe...
get out of here?
294
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,210
We should definitely
get out of here.
295
00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:18,846
Mm-hmm.
Where do you live?
296
00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:21,381
My ex got our place, so
I'm on a friend's sofa.
297
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:23,016
Should we go
to your place?
298
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:25,018
Ah. My place.
299
00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:27,387
Uh, yeah,
we could go to my place.
300
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:30,924
Unless... would your ex
let us use his place?
301
00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:34,161
No? Okay, yeah,
my place is great. Great.
302
00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:43,103
After you.
Thank you.
303
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:45,238
Oh, my damn. Uh...
304
00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,107
Welcome to East End Place.
305
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,242
I'm the captain of this
fair establishment,
306
00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:50,778
so if you need anything,
307
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:52,312
I mean anything at
all, just holla.
308
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:54,347
'Kay. Thanks, Nick,
but I don't think
309
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,884
she's having
a package delivered tonight.
310
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:58,952
Believe in yourself, man.
311
00:11:58,986 --> 00:12:01,054
Easy, Nick.
(elevator bell dings)
312
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:05,358
Yes, Mrs. Roberts?
Yeah, he's on his way up.
313
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:08,295
Ah, bah, bah, bah,
bah, bah, bah, bah!
314
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,430
What are you doing?
Telling your mother you're home.
315
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:13,300
Why?
'Cause of the money she gives me
to tell her when you're home.
316
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:17,504
My mother pays you to tell her
every time I come home?
317
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,139
NICK: Well, yeah...
Everything okay?
318
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,141
Yeah. Totally.
Um, so that is when
319
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:23,443
the building people
should come up to fix the thing
320
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:24,945
by the thing.
321
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:27,047
And away we go!
322
00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:30,450
So, I just have to run in
323
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,820
and say a quick hello
to my elderly neighbor.
324
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:34,822
Why don't you meet me in 9K.
325
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:37,290
There is wine in the fridge.
326
00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:39,893
Babies, old people--
you're such a good guy.
327
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,462
Well, you know,
I do what I can.
328
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,164
(laughs)
329
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,367
Oh!
Let's do this.
330
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,036
(laughs)
331
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,470
I got some of
your favorite...
332
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,072
Cheese? Yum!
Uh-huh.
333
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,907
So, who'd you
run into today?
334
00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:56,810
Harriet? Sarah?
Susan? Emily?
335
00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:58,245
Uh, yes, Emily Brown.
336
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,881
Her son Jonathan is the youngest
circuit court judge...
337
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,816
Court judge ever--
but I beat him
338
00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:05,552
in that mock trial
in eighth grade, so I win!
339
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:08,355
Mmm! Delicious.
Love that cheese.
340
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:11,324
All right, well, great visit.
I'm exhausted. Going to bed.
341
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,931
Hi. So sorry about that.
342
00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:25,405
Is there a lot of crime
in this building?
343
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:26,940
Yes.
344
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:29,176
Mostly stolen moments.
345
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,581
So...
346
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:36,049
So...
347
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,119
(doorbell ringing)
348
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,854
JUDY:
Josh!
349
00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:42,322
That's just my
elderly neighbor.
350
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:43,857
Probably lost
her teeth again.
351
00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:44,992
She'll find 'em.
352
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,461
(doorbell ringing repeatedly)
353
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:51,965
You know what? If we stay
quiet, maybe she'll go away.
354
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:53,266
Joshua... Oh!
355
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,435
What?
356
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:58,038
What's going on?!
357
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,374
You know, perhaps
I don't quite understand
358
00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:03,143
your relationship
with your neighbor.
359
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:04,444
Yeah. Um...
JUDY: Joshua?
360
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:06,546
Why don't you go check out
the terrace...
361
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,415
Joshua?
...while I get rid of her.
362
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:10,483
Beautiful view,
especially at night.
363
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,652
We had our moment.
364
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:16,456
Oh! Thank God you're okay!
365
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:19,392
Of course I'm okay. I was in
your apartment ten seconds ago.
366
00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:21,494
First, I don't like
your tone.
367
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:24,031
And second, I forgot
to give you this.
368
00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:25,565
That actor you always
go up against
369
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:28,969
got a terrible review
in his new play.
370
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,371
Okay, thank you so much.
Really appreciate it.
Yeah.
371
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:32,940
Good night.
You know my friend Mindy?
372
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,374
Good night, good
night, good night!
She...
373
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:35,408
Good night!
374
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:38,045
Oh!
375
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:40,313
It's really beautiful
out here.
376
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:43,283
Yeah, it really is.
377
00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:47,387
HARRY:
Can you hear me now?
378
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:49,389
Hello, children.
379
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:53,460
I'll call you back.
I will call you back.
380
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:56,163
And that's the terrace.
Come back in.
381
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,498
Hello. I'm Harold, Josh's...
382
00:14:58,531 --> 00:14:59,699
Neighbor!
383
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:02,402
Hey, neighbor Harold.
Have a good one.
384
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:03,203
Young lady,
385
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,973
have you ever had
a gorgeous piece
386
00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:07,507
of honeydew melon?
387
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:10,477
I-I've had melon
that looked good.
388
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,479
Don't know if
I would say "gorgeous," but...
389
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:16,083
Well, this is
a gorgeous piece
390
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,018
of honeydew melon.
391
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,686
Harold, no! Why?!
392
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,021
Oh!
393
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:22,355
I am so sorry.
394
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:24,324
Um, maybe you
could make us
395
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,059
some stronger drinks?
396
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:28,661
There is a jar of 2,000 olives
in the closet.
397
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:31,398
What are you doing?
398
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,632
You never come out
on the terrace.
399
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,067
Why are you on the terrace?
400
00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:35,468
I'm trying to get reception.
401
00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:37,537
How was I supposed to know
that you were out here
402
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:39,572
giving some girl a wowee?
403
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,408
Mommy said you went to sleep.
(baby crying)
404
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,176
Okay, can you not
call her "Mommy"?
405
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:44,511
And what if she
didn't like melon?
406
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:47,514
Then she's not
the girl for you.
407
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,216
What are you morons
screaming about?
408
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:51,518
You're gonna wake the baby.
How's the date going?
409
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:52,552
Not great.
410
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,087
Relax. You're just nervous
411
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:56,189
'cause you haven't gotten laid
in ten months.
412
00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:59,092
It's been ten months
since you've had intercourse?
413
00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:00,693
Thank you.
414
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,595
I mean, Mommy and I
aren't like we used to be,
415
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:05,032
but we still do it
on Valentine's Day.
416
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,666
And on both your birthdays.
417
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,501
Don't, please!
418
00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:11,538
Ever since I had that varicose
vein removed from my testicle,
419
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:14,107
I produce a lot more semen.
420
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:16,476
Make it stop!
Oh, my-- always about
the testicle.
421
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:19,312
Well, it's very exciting that
intercourse is on the table.
422
00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:21,614
You need me to make
a condom run?
423
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,584
All I need is privacy.
424
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:27,020
And don't tell Mommy-- Mom.
425
00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:28,521
We call her Mom.
Okay.
426
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:31,058
Go. Have some nice sex, son.
427
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:32,592
Thank you.
428
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:35,228
Sorry about that.
429
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:41,068
So, um...
where were we?
430
00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:45,172
JUDY (outside):
A girl?
431
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:49,476
My son lied to me?
432
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,810
Son?
Yes.
433
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,546
I, uh, I told her she
could call me her son
434
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:56,716
because, well--
you're gonna love this--
435
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:59,486
I am her son.
436
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,354
ANDREW: Ma, what are you
screaming about?!
437
00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:03,323
Who is that?
My brother.
438
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,592
He, Eve and the baby
live on the other side.
439
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:08,228
I'm sorry, it's just
I really like you a lot,
440
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:10,530
and my living situation
isn't exactly a turn-on.
441
00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:12,299
Unless it is.
442
00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:13,500
It's not.
No, it's not.
443
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,135
I know it's not.
I know it's not.
444
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:18,305
But it's not a big deal.
So you live next to your family.
445
00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:20,740
Yeah, right.
No biggie.
446
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:23,110
You know what, let's just
pretend they're not there.
447
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:24,577
HARRY:
Judy, are you aware
448
00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:28,615
that Josh hasn't
had intercourse in ten months?
449
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:39,759
Could you excuse me for
just, like, one second?
450
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:43,730
No, because
I wasn't there...
451
00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:45,665
What is wrong
with you people?
452
00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:48,301
This is my first date
since the divorce,
453
00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:50,103
and you're ruining it
with your loudness
454
00:17:50,137 --> 00:17:53,306
and your horrible babysitter
and your testicle!
455
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:58,345
It's doing fine,
God forbid anyone should ask.
456
00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,613
I am a grown man.
I need space.
457
00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:02,282
We give you space.
458
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:03,683
You pay the doorman
to tell you every time
459
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:05,285
I come up in the elevator.
460
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:06,686
You pay the doorman
to tell you every time
461
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:08,255
Josh comes up
in the elevator?
462
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:09,088
Insane, right?
463
00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:10,623
Why don't you pay
him to tell you
464
00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:11,824
every time I come up
in the elevator?
465
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,560
You don't like
to visit with me.
466
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,594
Neither do I!
467
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,367
So, I'm gonna go.
468
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,635
I am so sorry.
Can I call you tomorrow?
469
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:25,672
Oh, that ship has sailed.
She's not gonna
call you back.
470
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:27,574
You got to read the room.
471
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,376
Boundaries!
Boundaries!
472
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,611
Boundaries! Boundaries!
473
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:33,580
I require a modicum
of respect!
(phone ringing)
474
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:36,449
Hello?
You always had such
a great vocabulary, Josh.
475
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:38,151
And I saved three
lives this week.
476
00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:39,919
Remember when you won the
fifth grade spelling bee?
477
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:42,722
Like, they were dead, and
then I made them not dead.
478
00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:44,424
Okay, thanks.
479
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,658
That was Eddie Aberman.
480
00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:46,893
He spoke to Barry Feig.
481
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:49,696
His cousin, the director
Paul Feig, will meet you
482
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:52,732
if you can get to his hotel
in SoHo within 20 minutes!
483
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:53,700
What? Are you serious?
484
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:55,435
That's amazing and horrible.
485
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:56,903
It's all the way downtown.
I'll never make it.
486
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:58,905
Oh, you'll make it.
Judy, get my pants!
487
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:00,273
Absolutely.
488
00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:04,344
(gentle piano music playing)
489
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:09,949
Hi, Mr. Feig.
I'm...
490
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,651
The blind cop.
491
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:13,353
Oh, you've seen the show.
492
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:14,487
Yeah.
493
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:16,423
Mr. Feig, I am such a huge fan.
494
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:17,590
I mean, Bridesmaids is,
495
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,259
like, a perfect comedy.
496
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:21,494
I know it's a long shot,
but if there's any way
497
00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:22,795
I could read for the role
of the doctor
498
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,764
in your new movie...
There's no way.
499
00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:25,665
No way.
No way.
500
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:27,267
No way? Got it.
Zero way.
501
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,436
Okay.
I already gave the part
to Steve Carell.
502
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:31,204
Right, right.
But you, Josh, I mean,
503
00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:32,639
you were a great blind cop.
504
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:36,443
All right, well, uh, it was
an honor to meet you.
505
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,645
Um...
506
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:41,814
actually, there is the role
of the klutzy band leader.
507
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,450
It's not a lot of lines, but...
508
00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:44,684
I'll take it.
All right.
509
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:46,253
Okay, great.
I'm leading the band.
510
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:47,354
You sure are.
Yeah.
511
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:48,521
Congratulations.
512
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:49,589
Thanks, Mr. Feig.
513
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:50,757
ANDREW: All right.
Oh...
514
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,826
My baby's in
a Paul Feig movie!
515
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,995
Congratulations, buddy.
516
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:57,764
Don't forget to write
Eddie Aberman
517
00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:58,931
a nice thank you note.
518
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:00,567
Yes, I will.
519
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,835
And you know,
Morty, from the racquet club,
520
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:06,239
is married to Martin Scorsese's
niece's orthodontist.
521
00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:07,173
Oh.
522
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,875
Would you like to be
in a Scorsese film?
523
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:11,744
Yes. That'd be great, Dad.
524
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:12,979
So let's go home and celebrate.
525
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:15,748
Okay, sure. I-I just, uh...
I want to say something first.
526
00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:18,885
This has been
the toughest year of my life,
527
00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:20,687
with the divorce
and the show,
528
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,689
and I just...
529
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,724
I'm very lucky.
530
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:26,726
You guys are always
there for me.
531
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:28,027
And we always will be.
532
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,496
Always.
533
00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:31,731
I know.
Thank you.
534
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:34,334
(slowly):
Always.
535
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,709
Box seats,
Knicks/Warriors, tonight.
536
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:43,776
For me? For real?
537
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:47,747
If... you stop telling
my mother when I'm coming up.
538
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:48,981
(scoffs)
Done, son!
539
00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,617
All right.
(elevator bell chimes)
540
00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:55,855
(sighs)
541
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:00,827
(quietly):
I'm home.
542
00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:09,402
(sighs)
543
00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:11,003
There he is.
Hi, Joshy.
544
00:21:11,037 --> 00:21:12,805
Hi.
545
00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:14,441
Why are you in here?
546
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:16,843
Costco run.
547
00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:18,911
Is that a gorgeous barrel
of cashews?
548
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:21,080
Helen's daughter Marci
is expecting your call.
549
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,583
I already dialed the
first nine numbers.
550
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,618
Don't mind me, just came
to get my breast milk
551
00:21:25,652 --> 00:21:26,919
from your fridge.
552
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:29,556
Why is your breast milk
in my fridge?
553
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:31,558
And please tell me
it's not the cream
554
00:21:31,591 --> 00:21:34,527
in the little glass bottle that
I've been using in my coffee.
555
00:21:34,561 --> 00:21:36,829
Okay.
556
00:21:38,097 --> 00:21:40,099
Oh, look what I found
in the Dumpster.
557
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,001
HARRY: Dumpster?
How did it get there?
558
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:46,373
I don't know, it must have
wandered off, being all blind.
559
00:21:46,406 --> 00:21:47,774
Guys, guys, guys,
if this is gonna work,
560
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:50,710
we must establish
some ground rules.
561
00:21:50,743 --> 00:21:51,878
I understand.
562
00:21:51,911 --> 00:21:53,079
Good.
563
00:21:53,112 --> 00:21:55,548
But no.
564
00:21:55,582 --> 00:21:58,117
* La, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la *
565
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:02,054
* Come on,
won't you take me home? *
566
00:22:02,088 --> 00:22:08,828
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
567
00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:12,399
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
568
00:22:12,432 --> 00:22:14,867
* La, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la *
569
00:22:14,901 --> 00:22:17,136
* La, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la *
570
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:19,906
* La, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la *
571
00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:22,341
* Come on,
won't you take me home? *
40705
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