All language subtitles for veep.s07e04.720p.bluray.x264-demand-HI

Thank you, New Hampshire,
for manning up!

What started in Iowa

with a come-from-behind
second place finish

has built here tonight
into an all-out victory!

And now it's on to South Carolina

and then back to the White House!

(MUSIC PLAYING)

That's right, you heard me,

back to the White House!

We're going back there!

Which one of you donkey-dongs
was in charge of the balloons, huh?

- Believe it or not, Amy.
- She's still fucking up?

She hasn't worked here for months!

Does anyone have
her new email address?

"Man up" continues to resonate
in all four quadrants.

It's universal. Men hate women,
women hate themselves.

The Geraldine Ferraro principle.

Hey, ma'am, I was hoping

I could have some
more responsibility this time.

- SELINA: Yes.
- Yes!

Can you make me
a waxing appointment in Charleston?

- I'm feeling patriotic.
- Full bald eagle.

Ma'am, South Carolina
is gonna be tough.

- Guys, black people love me.
- Love.

Did you know Dr. Jordan Thomas,
the civil rights leader,

he once said to me...

- You told me this.
- We're aware, ma'am.

This is a classic.

He once said to me

that I was the blackest white woman
he ever met.

BEN: Ma'am, you do know

that this time you're running
against an actual black person?

SELINA: She's not even all-black.

Plus, I'm gonna be

Lion-Kinging Little Richard all around

till I tear my rotator cuff.

Absolutely not, Mother.

GARY: Hey, ma'am.
SELINA: Yeah.

I have been working
for you for 18 years

- without a promotion. Yeah.
- Right.

But some people kind of think

I deserve a bigger role
in the campaign this time.

What kind of role
was your mother thinking of?

I don't know, I thought everybody
kind of did the same thing.

Ma'am, our faith-based outreach
program is kind of a disaster.

- (GASPS)
- Okay, so give Gary

the face-based thing.

- It's "faith-based."
- I don't care.

- GARY: Yeah, okay.
- All right.

I gotta get a little shut-eye
before we land.

Can we have the lights out,
please? Thank you.

Hey, Ben, do you have
the county-by-county...

SELINA: No talking!
GARY: No talking!

(THUDS)

- GARY: Ow!
- I'm hearing moving!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

JONAH: I can't believe
I got sixth place.

It is time for us to head over
to the electoral scrapyard

and see if we can sell
your endorsement for parts.

Okay, I'm gonna go hang myself
from a sturdy pipe,

and I'm not even gonna
bother jacking off.

- You have time for a drink beforehand?
- Mmm.

Well, you're still
my favorite son, Jonie.

How does Butt-Buddy Calhoun
do 1% better than me?

Well, you had 3% and he had 4%,

so actually, he did 33% better than...

Don't math me, Lloyd.

Math is a plot invented by the Chinese
to make smart Americans feel dumb.

LLOYD: Jonah, modern math was invented

by Islamic scholars
in the 7th century.

(MOCKINGLY) You were invented by
Islamic scholars in the 7th century.

Burn. Sorry, Dad.

Okay, Jonie, please, don't yell
at Lloyd. Please. He's just...

Sorry. What is that on your finger?

- Is that a ring?
- LLOYD: Well, actually,

I asked your mom to marry me again,

and I'm hoping we can
get your blessing.

JONAH: No! You don't have it...

(HIGH-PITCHED LAUGHTER)

Ah! Saint Theresa's gray-haired gunt,

they're fucking again?

I'm sorry I'm late.

The Meyer victory party
is still raging.

They got some great coke.

I can't believe you backed
another candidate, Uncle Judas.

- You know, when I'm president...
- Shut the fuck up!

When you're president?

I'll jam my fist up my dick hole

and pull out a 40-piece
set of Danish cutlery

when you're president!

Selina Meyer is
a legitimate candidate,

not a human pool skimmer

last used to despunk
a Provincetown hot tub party!

Congratulations, Sis.

Let me know where to send the gift.

Spoiler alert.
It's Danish cutlery. (LAUGHS)

Thanks, Jeff.
See ya in church on Sunday.

Gary? I need my tea.

MARJORIE: And a well-done
egg white frittata.

Here you are, ma'am.

Whoa. That startled me.

Why are you Gary?

He had an early morning meeting.

Well, you can't just replace Gary
with another lesbian

and think that
I'm not gonna notice what...

Mmm.

Oh, this tea
is the perfect temperature.

Thank you, ma'am.
I learned from an Afghani warlord.

We should put him on the payroll.

Oh, you killed him in a drone strike.

Oh, well.

I've laid out your outfit for the day.

Oh! Oh, wow.

I never thought before
to put the Bottega pumps

with the Michael Kors top.

You've been taking
fashion advice from a man

who dresses like
an overgrown ventriloquist dummy.

That's a solid point.

- Oh. Is this edible?
- No, ma'am.

Oh.

Hello. Hello.

- Mr. Walsh. I'm Blake Stein.
- Nice to meet you.

- We're all ready to...
- Yep. Yeah. Perfect.

Did you see the spread that I ordered?

These are fresh bagels from New York,

which I'm very excited about
'cause the President hates bagels...

(SHUSHING)...and she can't even be
in the same room with donuts.

Uh, so why don't we get started?

Yes, of course, of course,
I'd love that.

I would love that.

Here we go. (CHUCKLES)

- (PHONE RINGING)
- (PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

- (WHISPERS) Uh, Mr. Walsh.
- Mmm, yeah?

This is your meeting.
You're in charge.

Oh, I know. I know. I know.

Of course.

Can I make anyone a plate?

- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
- (DOOR OPENS)

Oh, what up, Mojo?

Hey, when are you and I gonna
have that pussy-eating contest?

You have ten minutes.

I started timing
the moment you knocked.

- Ma'am! So good to see you again.
- Amy!

How is that baby?
It must be getting big.

It's great.

So the reason that we are here...

Yeah.

...is Congressman Ryan
is considering stepping aside

and endorsing you...

I want Vice President.
That's non-negotiable.

- Ooh, let's go.
- No, I'm willing to negotiate.

What about Department of the Exterior?

Interior.

We're gonna negotiate
against ourselves now, Amy?

Amy, Amy, I mean...

(LAUGHING) Oh, God.

If Ellen had
a little sister from China,

it might help her bond with Mike.

Or, uh, I could bond with the new one.

Tell them about
your big new job, Mike.

Oh, gosh, yeah!

I have my own webcast on BuzzFeed.

I call it McLintalk, A-L-K.

It would be funny
if you were American.

So, is everything all right?

Just one last question.

Mr. McLintock,

are you still close
with President Selina Meyer?

Well, full disclosure,

she still doesn't like
when I eat in front of her.

- Very good. Very good!
- WENDY: Very good!

MAN: If you will just
head down the hallway,

we will have you sign the application.

- Thank you so much.
- Oh, thank you.

- MAN: Mr. McLintock.
- Yeah?

I was wondering if you could deliver
a message to President Meyer for me.

Remembering things
and reporting them back to people

is not my strong suit,
but I could write it down.

Please don't write it down.

Okay.

JORDAN: My father started this
youth center for one reason.

You gotta keep
the kids off the streets.

That's right. Gangs and...

You know, what you need
is more police protection.

As you know, the police
are doing most of the shootings.

Yeah, well, the police
are out of control.

- Let me give you the rest of the tour.
- Okay.

- Huh?
- Ma'am, last month

a local eight-year-old boy
was shot by police

when his candy bar
was mistaken for a gun.

And how was I supposed to know that?

It was in today's Line-By-Line.

You know I don't read
what you give me.

Thought I lost you!
Let's continue the tour.

- The kids are waiting.
- Okay, great.

SELINA: Your father
was such a great man,

and you have inherited
not only his good looks,

but also his charisma!

Oh. Now I'm blushing
and a little bit crushing.

I would really love
to be able to count on

your endorsement this time around.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- You're gonna make me say it?
- Say what?

She gonna make me say it!

We've got a sister running, ya know.

We got race in the race. Praise Jesus!

Yes. Indeedy. I, you know...

- Progress!
- Progress.

Yeah, but you know,
your daddy, he used to say to me

that I was the blackest white woman
he ever met.

Can I tell you something?

My dad said that
to a lot of white women.

That was his move.

(JORDAN CHUCKLES)

Now you know.

Oh, I would love to see you
at services on Sunday,

and I would love it
if you'd speak to the congregation.

Well, I'm...

I'm pretty booked up.

No. Just take it away.

AMY: Senator Talbot, we believe you
are positioned to win the nomination,

and we might be considering suspending
Congressman Ryan's campaign.

Definitely the right move.

K-Jazz.

Ask me what's on my mind.

Fine. What's on your mind,
Congressman Ryan?

I'm glad you asked,

because my mind's on my money
and my money's on my mind.

Laid back.

I thought she'd be more...
I thought you'd be more familiar.

Uh...

I mean, did you at least watch
Martin? "Damn, Gina!"

- We should go.
- What? She asked.

Just, uh, let us know
if we can be of any help.

Could you give me HUD?
Nobody cares about it.

It's like the fat girl
of cabinet posts.

Ma'am, the new anti-Kemi mail pieces
just came in.

What, the tragic mulatto fuck?

Kemi looks like an albino.

And I'm so black, people are gonna
start calling me articulate.

Hey, ma'am. Presenting my first
faith-based outreach video.

- (ON COMPUTER) Outreach. Reaching out.
- No.

Okay.

Look, guys, if we're not
getting the black vote,

then we have to take
a hard turn to the white.

Kent, how are we doing with
non-college-educated whites?

- Look at this.
- KENT: Underwater, ma'am.

Then how about
college-educated whites?

In South Carolina,

that is not a significant
slice of the pie.

Then we're gonna have to find a way
with non-college-educated whites.

Like, what appeals to them...
Okay, fine.

What appeals to them?
What do they want?

Well, my polling shows
their main wants are jobs,

education,
and an adequate safety net...

- Okay, I can speak to that.
- I'm not finished, ma'am.

"...to be denied
to African Americans."

- My video could help, actually.
- (MUSIC PLAYING ON LAPTOP)

- No!
- (EXHALING SHARPLY)

Listen, we have to find a way

to say those things
without actually saying them.

- Like a dog whistle.
- Yes, exactly!

You know what? You could talk about
charter schools. Mention...

Come on, that's like a dog whisper.

You could "reject" an endorsement
from a pro-Confederacy group.

That's like a dog
exploding space shuttle.

I need something loud,
not too loud like...

- A dog chainsaw?
- No, that's too droney.

MARJORIE: A dog snowmobile.

Why would I know what that
even sounds like? I mean, seriously.

- I'm sorry, ma'am.
- A dog leaf blower?

- Yeah, I like that. Yes.
- BEN: That's right.

- Steady.
- It's exactly like a dog chainsaw...

- No, it doesn't.
- LEON: Very different sound.

It needs a higher register.

- (MUSIC PLAYING ON LAPTOP)
- Yeah, it is higher.

Okay, this is closed.
I don't know... This is closed.

Wait a minute,
what is Gary doing here?

This is my first strategic meeting
at the big table.

Okay, guys, what you need to do
is get me in front

- of huge white audiences.
- Huge. Huge.

Something that makes a NASCAR race

look like a Jay-Z concert, you know?

Actually, ma'am, Jay-Z concerts
are almost all white people.

Okay, well, right? I know.

MIKE: Hey, guys! Big news.

Wendy and I are adopting
another Chinese baby.

Where are you registered?
Child Protective Services?

No, Gymboree.

I love that they make clothes
in your size now, Mike.

- Oh, gosh, ma'am. I forgot.
- SELINA: Yeah?

The guy at the Chinese Consulate

said he had a message
for you from President Lu.

Wait, what?

He said, "President Lu
is watching the election

"with great interest and hopes
to return to your conversation

"about the Diaoyu Islands
in the near future."

Hey, can you go look at
Gary's faith video?

- Yeah, he needs some help.
- Sure. You need the McLintock spin?

SELINA: Sure.
MIKE: Okay.

Oh. Hey, ma'am, you got a moment?

- No.
- Copy that.

What the fuck was... Out!

- What was that?
- Lu sent you a message inside Mike.

A misfortune cookie.

Who cares about an island

that doesn't have
a Four Seasons on it?

The Diaoyu Islands are important

to the Chinese militarily,
but the United States

still does not recognize them
as Chinese territory.

Surely Lu recognizes that

I can't recognize diddly-squat.

Unless...

You become President.

So, what? You think that Lu
is trying to help me become...

Don't finish that sentence, ma'am.

We can't have this discussion.
We are still a nation of laws.

- Ish.
- Esque.

Of course, but let's be clear

about what we're not talking about.

Okay? We are not talking about

letting the Chinese influence
our Presidential election

and certainly not in exchange
for me recognizing those islands.

And, since it is not being discussed,
then I do not have to mention

that you cannot trust the Chinese.

And they will not sell you out
in a Beijing minute.

Wait, they will or they won't?

I don't know.

Well, I mean, can't we not

not do the thing
that we're not talking about?

I'm totally lost.

Do you think Captain Lady Kangaroo
heard any of that?

- I don't think so.
- No? Okay, good.

Fire her anyway just to be sure.

Consider her green-jeaned, ma'am.

- Ma'am, big news...
- Yeah?

- Tom James called. He wants a meeting.
- Is he dropping out?

A James endorsement right now
would be a game changer.

Set it up. I wanna see Tommy beg.

So, how's Little Richard doing
with solid foods?

Don't ask me, ask her. Apparently,
she's in charge of him now.

(SCOFFS) Catherine,
please don't do this.

You stole our baby
and you took him to church.

He saw a male Jesus.

When my uncle stole me,
I don't remember where he took me,

but I do have this recurring dream
where I almost find out.

- Richard, what's that noise?
- (INDISTINCT WHIRRING)

Oh, it's a crop-duster.

They usually fly pretty low.

- Can you say "airplane"?
- Not that low.

Oh, sweet male Jesus!

- Richard? Are you okay?
- CATHERINE: Richard?

- (KNOCKING AT DOOR)
- (DOOR OPENS)

Gary. You're growing your hair.

That's an amusing joke, Senator James.

Senator, hello.

Madam President.

Marjorie, thanks very much.
You can leave.

Or I could stay. For safety's sake.

I'm a model of discretion.

Oh, you can be discreet
out in the hallway.

You just left her in there? With him?

I was following orders.

Oh, so was Hitler.

Marjorie, there's something
that you need to see.

Catherine, Little Richard is not sick.

Please stop taking his temperature.

No, it's big Richard.

(MUMBLES)

REPORTER: (ON TV)
I'm here reporting from Lurlene, Iowa,

where earlier today an airplane

crashed into the local 7-Eleven.

Miraculously,
there were no fatalities,

due in no small part to the heroics

of Lurlene's own mayor,
Richard Splett.

Mayor Splett, what happened?

Oh, well, a crop duster
clipped the power line

and bumped into a local 7-Eleven.

We're working with FEMA to bring in
emergency supplies and cigarettes.

I've never been more proud
I taught that man

to ejaculate into a cup.

SELINA: All right, Senator James,
what's it gonna be?

I've heard you had a yen for Treasury.

I think a lot of my supporters
would actually think

that State was more appropriate.

Ouch. Things are that bad
at home, huh?

Let's just say that
a few international tours

would ease domestic tensions.

(CHUCKLES)

Well, it's pretty early days, though.

You know, and still
moving pieces around...

Foggy Bottom is a pretty big plum
to be giving away so soon.

Although Secretary of State
is only really powerful

if he or she has a close personal
relationship with the President.

I don't know. Tom, I have to tell you,
I'm really not convinced.

Well, if you like, I could walk you
through my foreign policy ideas.

- Mmm.
- You familiar with

"peace through strength"?

Oh. Keep talking like Reagan,
I'll work it like Nancy.

- Congressman.
- Governor.

- (CAR DOOR CLOSES)
- (CAR ALARM CHIRPS)

- Were you followed?
- I don't know.

So, what would you offer me

as far as a cabinet position
in exchange for my endorsement?

Whoops!

I guess we got ourselves
a Gift of the Magi situation here.

I was gonna ask you
for the same thing.

Wait, you're dropping out?

Maybe. Maybe not.

But I was gonna ask you
for Secretary of Interior.

Were you gonna ask for Interior
and then settle for HUD?

Dang it. So busted.

Hey, is that Amy?

JONAH: Oh, she said to say no.

Oh.

AMY: Get in the car.

No, yeah, that's definitely Amy.

Oh. All right.

- See you later, man. Yeah.
- Good luck, bro.

SELINA: Oh. Morning, boys.
MEN: Morning, ma'am.

Our good friend Tom James
just called a press conference.

SELINA: Oh, has he now?
KENT: Yes.

Wow. I need fruit.

- On it.
- GARY: On it. I'm on it.

- BEN: Ma'am?
- Yeah?

Please tell me you didn't
promise him State?

There is no way I would appoint
anyone competent

to anything in my cabinet.

Morning. Thank you for coming.
Hope I can...

Cloudberries are organic
and Icelandic.

How lovely.

I have decided to suspend my campaign
for President of the United States.

- Oh, no. Tom, say it ain't so.
- (ALL GROAN)

- REPORTER: Senator James.
- Yeah.

Will you be making an endorsement?

I'd like to give my strongest
and most full-throated support

to the person who has proven
time and time again

to be a born leader.

I wonder who that could be.

I don't know who that is.

...but unfortunately that
candidate has not yet emerged

and shows no sign of doing so.

- SELINA: Huh?
- These are early days.

There's a lot of moving pieces,

- but I will not be endorsingjust yet.
- No, no, no, no. What?

- Thank you, and God bless America.
- He just fucked me right in the ass!

Son of a bitch wouldn't endorse you.

That, too!

Ma'am, it's time to just
give up on South Carolina.

- No, no! Move, move!
- (GROANS)

Are you kidding me? We can't let Kemi
get a foothold in South Carolina.

Think!

Oh. I'll... You call Dr. Thomas
and you tell him, yeah,

I'll speak before
his congregation tomorrow.

Ma'am, we need white voters.

- I mean, that's not gonna work.
- SELINA: Yeah.

It will if I give a speech in support

of local law enforcement
and that cop who killed

that kid who threatened him
with the candy bar!

Okay, so you wanna blow
a dog whistle in a black church?

I mean, that's like
blowing a rape whistle

while you're raping somebody.

- (SOFTLY) Exactly.
- Speak truth to powerless.

I like that very much.
Write that down, Leon.

- I will do that.
- Here's the fruit.

Honeydew? If I wanna pretend
to be in the CNN green room,

I'll draw a face on Ben's ass
and call that Christiane Amanpour.

Jonah-lah! What's this meshugas
about you dropping out of the race?

That can't happen. Chicken?

Mr. Tanz, they say that
I have no chance of winning.

Who said anything about winning?

You. I thought you said
I was gonna be president.

No, you did.

Made me chuckle every time.
I never thought you could win.

Well, then why the fuck
am I running, sir?

As terribly as you're doing,

you're still winning delegates.

Mostly crazy cuckoos,

but you multiply that by 50 states,

I can force the party
to make some tweaks

to the platform at the convention.

Stricter marijuana laws! Ta-da!

I need potheads in my prisons.

Otherwise it's just
murderers and rapists.

It makes for a very
unpleasant atmosphere.

I wish I'd aborted myself.

Wait, so no one's really
trying to make me president?

No.

Wait, so this is all just
to keep The Chronic illegal?

Now he gets it! Plus, I need
more casino licenses for Macau.

I know it sounds a little specific,

but in the end
it'll benefit all Americans.

Toodle-oo!

JORDAN: President Selina Meyer.

- Hello, Reverend.
- Good for you, girl.

I can't believe you did this.

- Yeah.
- You don't quit.

- No, I don't.
- Oh, I like that.

- Do you? Okay. Good.
- I do.

- And I love that little hat.
- Thank you.

Yeah, this whole congregation's
gonna love that little hat.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, God, I think he has a crush on me.

- Yeah.
- He does not, ma'am.

Oh, come on.

I appreciate your honesty, Marjorie.

- Okay.
- I mean, not that it matters.

He certainly isn't gonna
after I read this manifesto.

Permission to roll
your breasts, ma'am?

Oh, granted.

JORDAN: Good morning, everybody.

CROWD: Good morning.

Uh, we have a special guest today.

I'm pretty sure that you can imagine

that I'm a firm supporter
of the separation of church and state.

- (CROWD AGREEING)
- Because this is the Lord's house.

Not the White House.

But soon to be the "Black House."

(CROWD CHEERING)

Brothers and sisters, please
welcome President Selina Meyer.

- Thank you. Thank you, Reverend.
- Mmm-hmm.

- Good morning.
- CROWD: Good morning.

I don't need to tell you that
church is a special place.

- JORDAN: That's right.
- (CROWD AGREEING)

But it's also a place
for truth, isn't it?

That's right. That's right.

And what happened recently
in your community

to that young boy is very sad.

(CROWD AGREEING)

But here's the hard truth.

There are many victims here.

And you might not wanna hear this.

But the real victims are the police...

(CROWD MURMURING)

MAN: Uh-huh.

..."ing."

Policing that America
does in the South China Sea.

That's right. I went there.

It is time for America to recognize

Chinese sovereignty
over the Diaoyu Islands

and the disputed mineral rights
of the surrounding seabed.

Can I get an amen?

- What?
- Amen.

Hello, everyone. I'm Mike McLintock,

and Mc-welcome to the first episode
of McLintock... I mean "talk."

Today I have a BuzzFeed exclusive.

We are getting
the first national interview

with Lurlene, Iowa's dog mayor,

who it turns out
is not a dog, but a human.

Mayor Richard Splett, are you there?

Hi, Mike. Big fan of the show.

Mayor Splett, how does it feel
to be the hero of 7-Eleven?

Oh, I'm no hero.

I'm just a mayor who now,

temporarily, has a Slurpee machine
in his office.

- Well...
- I need my iPad.

(SIGHS) Mayor Splett, did you realize

what you were doing was so courageous?

- Oh, good question.
- Thank you. It's actually Wendy's.

I guess I just did what anybody
would do if they were there.

Except the people who were there
and didn't do anything.

You heard it here first.

Stick around for more McLintock
with Mike McLin-talk.

KEITH: Spare a nanosecond
for First Mate Quinn?

What do you want, Keith?

- (DOOR CLOSES)
- Wow. Okay.

(SPEAKING MANDARIN)

Uh, is that Mandarin?

Yes, it was.

I happen to consult for a number
of very large clients in Asia

who have a strong interest
in Sino-American relations,

and they were very, very impressed
and delighted by your sermon.

(CHUCKLES) I don't know
what you're talking about...

I would say that we're
well past the point

of plausible deniability
at this point.

I... You know, I haven't
committed to anything...

- Well, actually...
- Hi, ma'am.

- Yeah?
- Can I share the news with you?

- What?
- KENT: You need to hear this.

Look. Faith-based initiative
just raised $25 million.

Wow. Way to go, buddy!

- All of a sudden, out of nowhere!
- SELINA: What?

- GARY: Anonymously.
- Um... Wow.

Okay, I'll get out of you hair, ma'am.

Okay.

It must've been
the video I made, right?

Well, I can't think
of any other reason.

Well, let's be honest.
God had a lot to do with it, too.

- Oh, sure! Yeah.
- It's a miracle.

Let's go spend $25 million
on some racist robo-calls.

- BEN: Praise the Lord.
- Right?

JONAH: Thank you.

You know who else thinks
that I don't have the intelligence

or the tentrament to be president?

My very own campaign staff.

- (ALL GASP)
- That's right.

They have been trying to stop me

- from becoming president.
- (ALL BOOING)

Yeah, no... Yeah, boo!
Let 'em have it.

That is my campaign chair,
Amy Brookheimer.

She recently had an abortion.

And that is my chief strategist,
Teddy Sykes,

and he is an overgrown midget
who had to be chemically castrated.

And that guy right there,

that's Eric something.

Bill Ericsson.

That's Eric Bill Ericsson,

and he thinks he's better
than everybody else in this room.

(ALL BOOING)

I've never seen
anything like this.

He's actually running against his
own campaign. Macau, here we come.

And one more thing. I just found out
from my stupid stepfather that...

TEDDY: Father-in-law!

...from my stupid stepfather-in-law

that math was created by Muslims.

Yeah. And we teach
this Islamic math to children.

Math teachers are terrorists.

(ALL GASPING)

- I love this.
- Okay. That's it.

I may be a registered sex offender,

but I cannot be a part of this.

I'm gone.

Algebra? More like Al Jazeera.

Under a Ryan presidency,
I will ban this Sharia math

from being taught
to American children.

- Amy, are you coming?
- There will be no more math.

One sec.

(ALL CHANTING) No more math!
No more math! No more math!

No more math!

God fuck America.

(ALL CHANTING) No more math!
No more math!

- No more math! No more math!
- (GROANS)

No more math!

No... Are you...
She's fine. She's fine.

Well, I'll tell you one thing.

If we lose, it certainly won't be

for lack of touching people
in a Denny's.

- All right. So, how's the turnout?
- BEN: Like my prostate.

Mostly black
and much larger than we'd like.

Oh, shit.

We're seeing unprecedented levels
of African-American voter engagement.

All right. Well, that's terrible,
but also inspiring.

Welcome to McLintock Embedded.

- Oh. We're live.
- Madam President,

would you like to say
something to our viewers?

- Sure, if you haven't voted, please...
- (PHONE VIBRATING)

Oh, sorry. I'm getting a call.
I apologize, it's Wendy.

Oh.

Hey. No, now is a good time.

- What's up?
- Can't buy that kind of press.

- I'm sorry.
- I need to talk to you.

Sparkling water, ma'am?

Yes. Oh, perfect.

Close the door.

Okay. Ben, I sold my soul to
the Chinese for a lousy $25 million.

Ma'am, I warned you.

You cannot trust the Chinese.

I married enough of them to know that.

Wait, isn't your wife Korean?

Maybe. Fog of war.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Ma'am. You wanna see this.

Something's happening.

REPORTER: (ON TV)
...poll watchers are reporting

that over 48,000 black voters
were turned away

because their middle initials
on the voter rolls

did not match their identification.

SELINA: Wait, what?
DAN: Yeah, listen to this.

"Widespread power outages
across the state,

"and police are urging residents

"to stay at home
for their own safety."

"The outages seem to be occurring

"primarily in
African American neighborhoods."

It's a total blackout.

- Okay, Ben!
- MIKE: Oh, ma'am, big news.

- Wendy just got a call.
- What?

We're gonna adopt
another baby from China!

You know, I think it's
that secret message that I...

No, no! (MUMBLES)

- Move!
- Okay, okay!

MAN: We got three hours left.

I'll call the Precinct Captains
right now.

MAN: We can turn this!

I think the Chinese just delivered.

And?

Thank you, South Carolina!

We had an amazing turnout on our side.

Yeah!

And you know how I like
to celebrate when I win?

CROWD: How?

By winning some more!

DAN: Balloons.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(INAUDIBLE)

From now on, I do what I want,

I take what I want,
whenever I want it.

"New Selina Now."

Let's watch my victory speech again.

- Yeah. Uh...
- Yeah.

I don't have the remote.

Oh, it's on the table by the chair.

So go get it.

- Good morning, ma'am.
- Good morning.

Hey, Marjorie, look at my eyes.

Tell me straight.
Do they look okay to you?

They look very puffy, ma'am.

- (SCOFFS)
- GARY: (STUTTERING) Hey.

Hey, good morning.
Morning, ma'am. Marjorie.

- Morning.
- Gary.

- Hey, Gary?
- Yeah.

Do my eyes look puffy to you?

I'm surprised they
let you run for president,

because you look 34, tops.

Yeah.

- Marjorie, you're out.
- (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

And you're back in.

Okay? You just go back to whatever
you were doing before.

- Finance Chair.
- All right, well, whatever.

So who's in charge of
the faith-based outreach now?

- Not it.
- You are.

- Oh, I am? Oh, okay.
- Yeah, yeah. You still are.

And Keith Quinn'll
help you out too, I think.

Yes, there you go.
So, your name will be all over it.

Like Jodie Foster
in John Hinckley's diary.

- Oh, my God. I'm obsessed with her.
- Let's go.

Congratulations, Gary.
The better woman won.

I'll take that.

Thank you.

I moved some things around.

Oh, did you? (CHUCKLES)

- Wow. It looks better.
- Mmm-hmm.

The tampons are vertical,
that's brilliant...

- SELINA: Gary?
- Yep?

Shouldn't you be pre-chewing
my mother's food for her?

I told her her eyes looked puffy.

(GASPS)

Thank you, chipmunk.

You're welcome, Catherine.

KEITH: Hey-O, Dan-O!
You busting out of here?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, I need an itinerary.

Itineraries are only for people
who work on the campaign.

And?

Wait, I'm fired?

Per fucking who?

Per Selina.

I believe her words were,

"If I need another Washington douche,

"I'll go to the M Street Rite Aid."

You should flip through your NDA.

If you breathe a word
of anything, to anyone,

we'll slit your throat.

Later, gator!

Congressman Ryan
placed a distant third last night.

Where does the campaign go from here?

Third place was a massive win for us.

Selina Meyer and Kemi Talbot
can feel Jonah Ryan

breathing down their necks.

Jonah Ryan said he's been lying
to everyone the whole time.

Why should anyone trust him now?

Frankly, Jonah Ryan
is the only candidate

who's honest about his dishonesty.

And that is why Jonah Ryan is the next
President of the United States.

Speaking as someone
who's covered politics for 20 years,

- Jonah Ryan terrifies me.
- That's your opinion.

I find his mindless,
toxic fear-mongering

a dangerous addition to our already
divisive political climate.

Again, your opinion.

Tomorrow morning, we will be live

with exclusive coverage
of Congressman Ryan's rally

in Youngstown, Ohio, only on CNN.