All language subtitles for Turtles.All.The.Way.Down.2024.2160p.WEB.H265-HEATHEN.Hi

["Oh No" playing]

[vocalizing]

[Aza] Did you know human beings
are almost 50% microbial?

That means half the cells
that make up your body

don't even belong to you.

They belong to these tiny, microscopic
organisms crawling inside of you.

So, if you think about
it, there is no you.

You're not real.

You're fictional.

♪ Oh, no, I did it again ♪

♪ I heard them all too
loud Voices in my head ♪

♪ And now I'm lonely ♪

♪ Someone to tell
me They knew... ♪

You're just a glorified
bacterial colony.

- [Dr. Singh] I did know that.
- [song stops]

Because you've told me before.

When was the last time

you had the urge to open
the callus on your finger?

- This morning.
- And did you?

Yes.

Maybe we try exposure
response therapy again.

Oh, that... that wasn't for me.

Okay.

Have you been taking
your medication?

Uh...

Sometimes.

You have to take your medication every
day, for it to work. You know that.

What are you thinking?

I was thinking it's not fair

that you and every other
normal person can know

you're covered in bacteria
and not give a shit.

- I don't like the word "normal."
- And I don't like the words

that you write on your
notepad to describe me,

but if the shoe fits.

Sure, they acknowledge
you're struggling,

but they also reflect
that you are so much more

than your OCD.

You're smart, and
creative, and thoughtful.

Okay, thank you. But,
please, just stop.

So, you wish you were
more like normal people?

No.

I'd kill to be
like normal people.

[song resumes]

♪ I'm caving out ♪

♪ And I just sit back ♪

♪ While I watch me drown ♪

♪ So I'm safe and sound ♪

♪ While I'm in this room ♪

♪ No, it's nothing new ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ Oh, no, I did it again ♪

♪ I told the world I'm
fine Never near the edge ♪

♪ And now I'm falling ♪

♪ Too late to tell
them The truth ♪

♪ Oh, no, I did it again ♪

♪ I heard them all too
loud Voices in my head ♪

♪ And now I'm lonely ♪

♪ Someone to tell me They knew ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm caving out ♪

♪ And I just sit back ♪

♪ While I watch me drown ♪

♪ So I'm safe and sound ♪

♪ While I'm in this room ♪

♪ No, it's nothing new ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh ♪

- ♪ Oh, no, I did it again ♪
- ♪ 'Cause I'm caving out ♪

♪ I let my mind leak out
Into all my friends ♪

♪ And I just sit back ♪

♪ While I watch me drown ♪

- ♪ Oh, no, I did it again ♪
- ♪ So I'm safe and sound ♪

♪ I let myself inside
Till the silence ends ♪

♪ Too late to tell the truth ♪

♪ Slipping and thinking Of you ♪

♪ And it's nothing new ♪

♪ Slipping and thinking Of you ♪

♪ Slipping and
thinking Of you... ♪

[school bell ringing]

♪ Slipping and
thinking Of you... ♪

[indistinct conversation]

♪ Slipping and thinking Of you ♪

♪ Slipping and
thinking Of you... ♪

So, what do you think?

[song stops]

Of what?

Holmsey, my hair is the color
of an embarrassed flamingo.

Yeah, it's not a good thing.

[Daisy chuckles]

I can't believe you actually
went through with it.

It's bold.

Daisy Ramirez breaks
hearts, not promises.

[girls chuckle]

Do you think I should get that
tattooed, like, yea big on my ankle?

Still, no.

- Hey, check out my new piece.
- [Daisy] Oh.

His new piece.

Bam.

He's hot. Who is he?

He's Mychal 101.

I used Photoshop to average the
faces of 100 people named Mychal,

- but spelled with a "Y" like me.
- [static crackles]

And the average of
their faces became him.

The 101st Mychal.

- Hello, Mychal 101.
- [whooshing]

[voice fading] Yeah, so, now that
I've got the technique down...

[Aza] That's your stomach
digesting your sandwich.

Make a piece about the
face of White River High.

["Bad Guy" instrumental
playing] - [whooshing]

[Aza] All the bacteria chewing the
slime of the peanut butter and honey.

You can feel them living, and
breeding, and dying inside of you.

Your body is nothing but a host

to a massive collection
of parasitic organisms,

ready to cause infection,
ready to cause infection,

ready to cause infection.

Holmsey, are you listening?

[Aza] I am listening to the
cacophony of my digestive tract.

- Aza?
- [song stops]

Yeah. Yeah?

When was the last
time you saw Davis?

Um, I don't... I don't know.

[Mychal] You know Davis Pickett?

- [echoing] Yeah, when they were kids.
- [song resumes]

- What?
- They went to camp.

[Aza] It's too loud.

Why is it so loud?

Excessive abdominal
noise is an uncommon

but not unprecedented, symptom
of a C. Diff infection.

Even moderate C. Diff
infections can quickly worsen.

Damage to the intestinal lining

causes bacteria to spill
into the abdominal cavity,

leading to a
life-threatening infection.

You need to change the Band-Aid.

You're probably infected.

You need to drain the infection.
Drain it and clean it.

Put on a new Band-Aid
before it gets any worse.

I gotta go to my locker.

Most C. Diff cases
occur in hospitals.

You haven't been to a hospital, but
you're sweating and you feel hot.

You probably have a fever.

A fever is also a
symptom of C. Diff.

- Stop it, you don't have a fever.
- [door closes]

You don't have a fever yet.

How could you forget
to change the Band-Aid?

I really don't think I did.

You did, you forgot to change
it, and now it's too late.

You have C. Diff,
and you're gonna

[song stops] [exhales]

[winces]

Thought spiral?

Yeah.

[Daisy] Well, tomorrow, we're gonna
hang out on my lunch break, right?

And by "hang out" I mean, you're
gonna pick me up on my lunch break?

- Sure.
- Thank God.

I'll see you tomorrow. Love you.

Bye.

[typing]

- No phones in the hallway, Aza.
- [cell phone clicks]

No spying on your daughter
during school hours, Mom.

You look tired.

You feeling okay?

Yeah.

And you're taking your...

Yes.

[bell ringing]

Hey, do you wanna go to a movie
sometime tomorrow afternoon?

I barely get to see
you during the week.

I'm hanging out with Daisy.

Maybe Sunday then?

[Aza] Maybe.

[gentle piano music playing]

Hey, everybody.

[Professor Abbott on video] Schopenhauer
once said, "Man can do what he wills,

but he cannot will
what he wills."

Our motives may
be predetermined,

but it's up to us how
we act on those motives.

And consider this.

If you alter a mouse's microbiome, the
colonies of bacteria in its stomach,

the mouse will suddenly
seek out different foods

[knocking on window] [gasps]

[window creaking open]

Horrible news. I
drew the short straw,

which means I have to get in the
freakin' Kenny the chinchilla costume.

And B.O. Brian was
in it all morning.

So, let's make this
lunch break count.

Really?

You know you're not allowed to
drink non-clear liquids in Harold.

It's vanilla. It's
clear-adjacent.

Fine.

[sucking]

Empty.

- Happy?
- Mm-hmm.

[lock clicks]

[Daisy clicks tongue, sighs]

Happy, Harold?

Yes, he is.

- [engine starts]
- For what it's worth,

your dad is definitely smiling
down from the great beyond,

proud of how anal you're
being about his old car.

[chuckles] Radio or the CD?

CD, always.

Just think, of all the CDs that
could have gotten stuck in here...

[player beeps]

it wound up being the
greatest album of all time.

[chuckles]

["Ms. Jackson"
playing on stereo]

- ♪ I'm sorry, Ms. Jackson ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ I am for real ♪

♪ Never meant To make
your daughter cry ♪

♪ I apologize A trillion times ♪

[speaking Spanish]

[singing along in Spanish]

[in English] ♪ Ooh,
I am for real ♪

♪ For real ♪

♪ Never meant To make
your daughter cry ♪

♪ I apologize A trillion times ♪

♪ On the oak tree I hope
we feel Like this forever ♪

- ♪ Forever? ♪
- ♪ Forever ever? ♪

♪ Forever ever? ♪

♪ Forever never seems that
long Until you're grown ♪

♪ And notice that The day-by-day
ruler Can't be too wrong ♪

♪ Ms. Jackson My intentions
were good I wish I could ♪

♪ Become a magician To
abracadabra all the sadder ♪

♪ Thoughts of me Thoughts
of she Thoughts of he ♪

♪ Asking what happened To
the feeling That her and me ♪

Hi, Holly.

We'll do a veggie burger for
milady. Hold everything but the bun.

And a blazin' Texan for me.

Extra blazing, if
that's possible.

I'm having a day.

Let me guess, you have a coupon?

[Daisy] We do, in fact.

Anything to drink?

What are we,
heiresses? Two waters.

If you tip me in quarters
again, I swear to God.

Why is Davis on the news?

[Daisy] Because his dad is missing.
That's what I was talking about.

You didn't hear me say that?

[newscaster] Billionaire,
Russell Pickett, seemingly...

Do you hear me now?

Pickett Engineering was working
on a massive construction project

designed to clean sewage
from the White River

by expanding existing tunnels
and diverting the creek

known as Pogue's Run.

Pickett had likely
been tipped off

that he was being charged
with fraud and bribery

and that his arrest
was imminent.

- Yikes.
- Mr. Pickett is a widower with two sons,

Davis and Noah.

Detective Dwight Allen gave
us more details on the search.

[Dwight] The FBI is
offering a $100,000 reward

for anyone who has information

that would lead to the
discovery of Mr. Pickett.

- Holy shit!
- Anyone with any pertinent information

- about this investigation should contact...
- Holy shit!

Who do you think is taking
care of Davis and Noah?

Probably one of their
bajillion servants.

They're rich. Rich
people are always fine.

I think you're missing the
takeaway here, which is $100,000.

What about it?

You and Davis used
to be friends.

Yeah, for one
summer at sad camp.

He might not even remember me.

He'll remember you. That
shit bonds you for life.

And you're memorable.

Even if he does,

it doesn't mean I know how
to find his missing dad.

Okay, but it gives us a
leg up on everyone else.

We are not people to turn our noses
up at a hundred grand, Holmsey.

I am currently washing ball
pit balls for $8.40 an hour.

Do you know what I'm
washing off the balls?

Do you?

- It's pee.
- Mmm.

It's pee, Aza. Pee-pee.

Yeah, okay.

And as much as I
would love to think

that my Star Wars fanfic is
going to make me stupid rich,

just can't rely
on that right now.

Ergo, we owe it to ourselves,

to our families, and to our futures
to try and get this 100 grand.

That kind of money,
we could order sodas.

[curious music playing]

I just don't get how Russell Pickett
disappeared without anyone knowing.

I mean, don't rich people have
a bunch of security cameras

in their manors?

Like, to make sure that
nobody steals their jewels?

Actually, they only
have one camera.

How do you know?

After that summer at camp, Davis
invited me to his 13th birthday.

Some kid got him this
motion capture camera

because he was really
into tracking animals,

and in front of everyone,

his dad just turned all cold
and said he couldn't keep it.

Why?

Uh, because...

[imitating Russell] "Privacy is the
most important thing you can have,

and if you don't have
that, you have nothing."

[scoffs]

It's a pretty crazy speech to give a kid
who's just trying to enjoy his birthday

and not be sad
about his dead mom.

Seriously.

Anyway, uh, Davis got upset,

and, finally, his dad
caved and let him keep it.

Huh.

No, no, no, don't...

- Don't lean.
- [music stops]

Sorry. Sorry.

Okay. So

we've gotta get our hands on that camera.
Do you know where he installed it?

Sort of.

We all helped him put it up in
this huge tree near the river.

Holmsey, we have a lead.

- [cell phone clicks]
- [typing]

- [whispers] What are you doing?
- I'm on the phone.

Eric, hi. It's Daisy.

Yes, that's... that's
actually why I'm calling.

I really, really need
the afternoon off.

I'm pretty sure that I have...

[quietly] What's a highly
contagious stomach bug?

Norovirus.

[in normal voice]
Definitely Norovirus.

100% it's Norovirus.

It feels like Norovirus.

["Fig in Leather"
instrumental playing]

Thank you. Okay.

- Bye.
- [cell phone clicks]

Do you still have that canoe?

This water has to
be like, 50% urine.

That's the good half.

Kidding.

[Aza] This water is
teeming with bacteria.

[Daisy] What a day!

The sun's a-shining,
the canoe's a-floating,

and we're about to live
the American dream.

Benefiting from someone
else's misfortune.

Could you please row a little
gentler, so I don't get splashed?

Sorry.

[static crackles]

[Aza] The water will get on you,

and then it's only a
matter of time before...

Hey, did you know that this
river is the only reason

that Indianapolis even exists?

I know you're trying
to distract me.

Yep, but did you know my thing?

[Aza] Bacteria can
lead to Giardia.

So, back when Indiana
first became a state,

there were all of these heated debates
about where the capital should be.

And they noticed that there's a river
right smack in the center of the state.

So, they're like, "Boomshakalaka,
perfect place for our capital."

But then, after they
made the announcement,

they realized that the White
River is, like, six inches deep,

and there's no way in hell you
can float a steamship down it.

For a long time,

Indianapolis was the
largest city in the world

not on a navigable waterway.

That's actually
really interesting.

Yeah, I knew you'd like that.

And look at that, we're here!

Almost!

[music fades]

[grunts]

Maybe this is a literal
sign we should go home now.

Nah.

It's plausible deniability.

Now... [sighs] which way
to that camera, Holmsey?

I have no idea.

[sighs in exasperation]

Why can't you have that
super observant kind of OCD

that makes you an
amazing detective

in all those crime shows
that my dad watches?

["Dance Yrself Clean" playing]

[Daisy] Shh!

[imitating lightsaber]

[imitating hacking]

Does this look familiar at all?

♪ Walking up to
me Expecting... ♪

No? Just woods? Okay.

[Daisy imitating lightsaber]

What are you doing?

Lightsaber.

[clicks tongue] You try.

You got it.

♪ Ah ♪

Wingardium Leviosa.

No. Wrong franchise. And
I know that you know that.

[sighs] Can we
please just go home?

This was an idiotic,
massive waste of...

[music stops]

There's... there's the tree.

And the camera.

Yes!

[exhales]

What is happening up there?

I'm not exactly known
for my core strength.

It won't sync with my phone.

Well, is your Bluetooth on?

Yes, my Bluetooth is on.

- Oh.
- What?

- It wasn't on.
- [clicks tongue] Aza!

- [cell phone dings]
- [Aza gasps]

- Okay. It's working.
- Yeah?

- Yeah, the photos are loading.
- Okay.

Um, I don't want to alarm you,

but there is definitely a golf
cart headed in our vague direction.

Wait. [Sputtering]
What do you mean vague?

All right, I think it's
just making the rounds.

We're good. Relax.

Nope, not good. Very bad.
It definitely saw us.

- One sec, one sec, one sec.
- Come on, hurry!

- Okay, okay, okay.
- Hurry! Good? Good?

- Yep, yep, yep. Mm-hmm.
- We're good? We're good? Okay.

Okay. We're good. Okay, okay.

- [Aza breathing heavily]
- Ah!

- What do we do?
- [panting]

We "damsel in distress."

- Yeah, um...
- [siren blaring faintly]

Oh, no, I'm not doing
that. I'm not doing that.

Okay, all right. That's fine.
That's fine, don't worry.

God.

[Daisy] There. There. There.

No!

- What are you two doing here?
- [Daisy pants]

Other than trespassing?

Hi. Thank God. We, um...

We were canoeing and we
must have hit a rock.

Multiple rocks.

We started taking on water.

[clears throat, coughs]

Barely made it to shore.

But Aza here,

she actually happens to be
friends with Davis Pickett.

Maybe you could take us to him.

It would be my pleasure.

Oh.

Thank you.

Because if he doesn't know your
friend, I'm calling the police.

Fun.

Sad camp does bond you
for life, doesn't it?

["The Less I Know
The Better" playing]

[Daisy] Whoo! Bumpy.

[door opens]

[Lyle clears throat]

[door closes]

Davis, you have,
uh, some visitors.

[song continues on speakers]

Aza. What are you doing here?

Hi, Davis.

See, I told you they
knew each other.

Uh, sorry, we hit a rock and
washed ashore on your... mansion.

Uh, apologies for the intrusion.

Uh, well, I'm gonna...
I think I'm gonna...

I'm gonna go make a phone call.

Um, make sure that we
have that canoe insurance

that I was telling you about.

State Farm?

Sorry about Daisy. Um...

She's a...

Leo.

You know what's crazy?

I was just thinking about you.

You were?

Yeah, everyone on the news
keeps using my dad's full name,

Russell Davis Pickett.

And I keep thinking,
"That's my name."

That made you think of me?

I remember you said that
your dad wanted you to have

your own unique name.

A sound you could make your own.

"A to Z and back again."

My dad made me a junior.

As I made juniority.

Well, you're not your name.

I'm really sorry
about everything.

I'm sure he'll turn up soon.

I mean, I hope so,
for Noah's sake,

[sighs] but my dad's a shit bag.

Maybe that's the wrong word.

He's a coward and a criminal.

He's probably holed up in the Swiss
Alps, getting a massage right now.

Hey, wanna play the
next one with me?

Sure, but first, say "hi."
Remember my friend Aza?

[Noah] Sup?

Hey, nice to see you.

Uh, well, I should
get going. [Chuckles]

Do you need a ride home? 'Cause
Lyle can take you. It's no problem.

Sure. Thanks. [Chuckles]

I hope it's not years
before I see you again, Aza.

[song gets louder]

♪ So, come on, Superman
Say your stupid line ♪

[song stops]

- [sighs] Raccoon.
- Raccoon.

- Coyote.
- Coyote.

Are you gonna keep
repeating me or...

I can stop if it doesn't help.

- [Aza] Raccoon.
- [Daisy] Raccoon.

- [Aza] Nothing.
- [Daisy] Nothing.

I'll stop. I'm done.

- Nothing.
- [inhales]

- Nothing.
- [groans loudly]

It's taking too long.

[Aza] Coyote.

Ew! Coyote eating a raccoon.

- Ew.
- Oh.

Look, there! That's him.

That's literally him. Oh,
my God! Oh, my God! [Gasps]

Oh! He's escaping in
Burberry because, of course.

Oh, my God, this is
huge. This is huge.

Okay, okay, um, we know that he
left in the middle of the night

because of the time stamp,
and he brought a duffel bag.

I'm not sure what this gets us.

Yeah, me neither.

But it's something!

And lucky for us, Davis
is totally into you.

So, we'll just hang out with him again
and get inside the belly of the beast.

The mansion is the belly.
Or is it the beast?

I don't know. I don't... I've
never understood that saying.

Daisy

- you really think he's into me?
- [scoffs]

Yes, and you're into him, too.

- I'm... I'm not.
- You are, too.

He's literally so hot.
Are you kidding me?

Look at you, you're
literally aglow.

- You're aglow.
- No, even if I was, which I'm not...

- I'm not saying I am.
- [laughing] You are.

It doesn't matter.

I'm not...

I can't date anyone,
you know that.

No, I don't know
that. Why can't you?

Maybe because the actual mechanics
of it don't suit my talents?

The...

Like, swapping bodily
fluids is my idea of hell.

And also, when you date people,

they say stuff like,
"What are you thinking?"

And you're supposed to say, "I'm
thinking about you, darling."

But you're actually thinking about
how cows literally could not survive

without the microbiota
in their guts.

Which means, cows sort of don't
exist as independent life forms,

but you can't say that
because it'll seem weird.

So, you're forced to choose
between lying and seeming weird.

I mean, I think that's a great icebreaker
for your future date with Davis.

[both chuckle]

I'm...

Look, it is definitely weird,
but in the best kind of way.

Like you, Holmsey.

You know what? I bet that
if you guys actually kissed,

you would not be
thinking about...

Eighty million microbes.

Ooh.

What if his microbes
are better than yours?

Right?

Like, maybe if you guys made
out, you'd get healthier.

[snorting] Maybe.

[gasps] What if you got
superpowers from his microbes?

Yes. Oh, my God.

"She was a normal girl until
she kissed a billionaire,

and then she became
'Micro Bianca...

-Queen of the Microbe!'"
-Shh! Stop! Stop!

[Daisy snoring]

[Davis] "The greatest
weapon against stress is

our ability to choose one
thought over another."

[somber instrumental
music playing]

William James.

What superpower did William
James have? [Chuckles]

I can't choose my thoughts
like I can't choose my name.

With everyone snooping
around my family's business,

I think it's time to
shut this account down.

So, this is goodbye, my friends.

Then again, uh,

no one ever says goodbye unless
they want to see you again.

- [school bell ringing]
- [music fades]

- Hey, Aza, how's it goin'?
- [Aza] Hey.

It's good. Uh, what's up?

Listen, I don't wanna
mess up our friend group,

because it's really great and I
don't wanna make anything weird,

but do you think...

And you can... you
can totally tell me no

and I won't be offended
or anything. [Chuckles]

- Uh...
- But...

I... I don't really think I
can date anyone right now.

Uh, this is awkward.

I was gonna ask [chuckles]

if you think Daisy would
wanna go out with me

or if that's crazy?

But I mean, you're
great, too, Aza.

- You know...
- Yes, yes, that's... that's a good idea.

I mean, you should
talk to her, not me,

but by all means, go for it.

[both chuckle]

This is embarrassing. I'm
embarrassed right now.

No, no, no. I mean, you're
beautiful, too, Aza.

It's just, you know,
I've known her since...

Mmm. No. It's good. We're good.

[Daisy] I guess it makes sense.

He's been pining
over me for months.

Really?

How do you know?

Because I have eyes.

[Aza giggles]

So, what are you gonna say?

I'm down.

Figure one date can't hurt.

And now, me and Mychal can
go out with you and Davis.

We'll all wind up
back at the castle,

I'll sneak off and snoop
around while you and Davis...

Boom-diddy-boom-boom.

Hey.

What is...

It's porn music.

Okay.

Even if I agree to go along with
this, Davis didn't ask me out.

Aza, you don't have to wait
for a boy to ask you out.

What are you, a handmaiden?

Just text him. Tell him that
some friends are getting together

for burgers this weekend.

Trust me, he's going to say yes.

- We're texting him now.
- [sighs]

[typing]

7:00?

- 7:00 work?
- Yeah, sure.

P.M.? Or do you think
he knows that it's...

I mean, it's not like breakfast.

[typing]

Okay.

Breezy, very breezy.

[message whooshes]

[cell phone dinging, vibrating]

- Did he answer really fast?
- Yeah.

- What do we wear?
- Evening gowns. Duh.

[funky instrumental
music playing]

[sighs]

Hey, have you ever
gotten a dick pic?

Uh...

I mean, I've seen one.

Of course you've seen one.

I'm asking if you've ever received
a dick pic totally unsolicited.

- Like, as a form of introduction.
- Oh.

Like, "Hey, nice to
meet you. I'm a penis."

Uh-huh.

Yeah, no. I haven't.

[Daisy sighs]

A fan literally sent me one.

It's just like, what is the
thought process? You know?

"I really enjoyed
this story you wrote

about Rey and Chewbacca's
romantic adventure

- scavenging a Tul'kar's spaceship."
- [sighs]

"So, as a thank
you to the author,

here's a photograph of my
disembodied, flaccid penis."

- [door opens]
- [gasps]

- [music stops]
- Hi, guys.

Hey.

What are you lookin' at?

- Social media.
- We're just... Social media.

- Social media platforms.
- Social media. Social media.

Did they change the
dress code at Applebee's?

[Aza] Hilarious.

- We're going on a double date.
- Daisy.

What? It's not a secret.

Shit, was it a secret?

With who?

- Mychal and Davis.
- Davis Pickett?

Yep. Okay, bye, Mom.

Okay, okay.

You look beautiful.
I love the lipstick.

- [door closes]
- Ooh.

Lose the lipstick.

[door opens] - [whimsical
song playing on speakers]

- [Daisy] Hi, guys.
- Hey, what's goin' on?

- Hey.
- [Daisy] Hey.

- Hi.
- [Mychal] How are you?

Hi.

Ooh. Not yet. [Giggles]

- You guys come here a lot?
- [Mychal] Bro, they're regulars.

Where else can you get a
shrimp wonton, a chicken parm,

and a quesadilla
in one fell swoop?

[all laughing]

Can we get a round of
Dr Peppers, please?

Oh, Davis, Davis, Davis,
soft drinks aren't covered

- by the coupon.
- I think we can splurge.

That's your favorite, right?

Do you remember that?

[chuckles]

So, uh, Mychal just submitted
one of his portraits

to be in this big pop-up art show
they're doing in these abandoned tunnels.

Well, that's awesome.

Yeah, I... I don't think I'm
gonna get selected, though.

[Daisy] You definitely will.

- [fading] You're so talented...
- [static crackling]

[Aza] You're sweating, and
everyone can tell you're sweating.

They probably think you're
just a sweaty freak.

Aza, what's it like to be
friends with a literary icon?

Aw, I don't think 80,000 readers
makes me an icon. [Laughs]

Besides, Aza has never read my
fanfic. She's not a Star Wars girl.

[static crackling]

[Aza] Did you even change
the Band-Aid today?

Yes, I did.

Are you sure?

Right, Holmsey?

[Aza] Say something. Anything.

- Right. [Chuckles]
- Yeah.

[Mychal] Plus y'all both got
other similar interests, right?

- [fading] Like...
- Yeah.

[Aza] There's no reason
not to change the Band-Aid.

Just go change it
and be done with it.

[Daisy] We also really
like Applebee's.

Be right back.

[sighs] Anyway.

[tense music playing]

[Aza breathing heavily]

[static crackles]

It's infected. You're infected.

Bacteria are multiplying
inside of you right now.

Do something. Do
something. Do something.

- [door opens]
- [tense music stops]

Hey, I'm just checking on you.

[door closes]

Does this look infected to you?

It looks exactly the same as every
other time you've shown it to me.

- He must think I'm really crazy.
- No, he doesn't.

Aza, I swear to God,
he's so smitten,

you could literally start
peeing out of your ears

and he would still be into you.

Look, he invited us all over to hang
out, but if that's too much for you...

No. Let's go.

Okay. Good.

'Cause I'm gonna Nancy Drew
the shit outta that mansion.

[both chuckle]

[upbeat pop music playing]

- Okay. [Chuckles] Welcome.
- Yo, what?

Oh, my God! Yo, bro,
is that a Keith Haring?

[echoing] Then you got Picasso,
and then you got Basquiat!

Nah. Wait...

- Did I just echo?
- [Davis chuckles]

[Mychal laughing]

Bro, that's crazy. Wait,
hold on, hold on. Basquiat.

- Basquiat.
- [Davis chuckles]

Hey, yo, Basquiat.
Oh, that's tough.

- Okay. Mychal, breathe.
- Ba... Sorry.

- [exhales]
- Can we show ourselves around?

Daisy!

No, I mean... I... [chuckles]

Let's be honest, we're all dying to
get some alone time anyway, right?

[Davis chuckles]

- Yeah, sure. Do whatever.
- [Mychal] Wait, like, for real?

- Like, we could...
- He said do whatever.

[laughs] Bet.

[Aza chuckles]

And what's this one?

It's a Raymond Pettibon.

He's most famous for his
paintings of surfers,

but I like his spirals.

He was a musician
before he was an artist.

He was in Black Flag before
it was even Black Flag.

I love it.

[warm sentimental music playing]

[Davis] You don't
talk much, do you?

[Aza] I can get a
little stuck in my head.

[Davis] Just say
what you're thinking.

[Aza chuckles]

That's not something
I normally do.

- Do you really want to know?
- I do.

I was thinking that, deep
down, I'm just an organism

in this vastness.

It kind of terrifies
me that what I think of

as, like, my quote unquote "self"
isn't really under my control.

What do you mean?

There's this parasite.

It only grows in
the eyes of fish,

but the only way it can reproduce,
is inside the stomach of a bird.

Once the parasite
is ready to mate,

the infected fish suddenly starts
swimming to the surface of the water.

The fish are literally trying to
get themselves eaten by a bird.

Eventually, they succeed.

The parasite was in
charge all along.

Sometimes I feel like a fish.

Not in control of my body.

Not in control of my thoughts.

I like the way your brain works.

It hums.

Where'd you learn that?

This philosophy
professor, Lucia Abbott.

I've watched her TED
talk, like, a dozen times.

She teaches at Northwestern.

I have this stupid dream of
going there and taking her class.

Why is that a stupid dream?

[chuckling] I mean,
it's insanely expensive.

And then there's the whole
living in Chicago part,

which... would be new for me.

New things aren't
exactly my strong suit.

Well, I'm sort of a new thing,

and you're doin' fine with me.

You're old-new.

It's different.

"Old-new."

I like that.

[Aza] If you kiss him, you'll
get his bacteria in your mouth.

His bacteria will make you sick.

What are you thinking?

You really wanna know?

I do. [Laughs]

Okay.

I was thinking...

"I hope she's not
after the reward."

Davis, I'm not.

[music fades]

- I swear.
- Aza.

I know why you guys were
in the woods the other day.

You were looking for
the camera, right?

I checked it, too.

Got a photo of him
leaving with a duffel bag.

I never actually cared
about the reward.

Daisy and I were just...

I just realized

this is an entirely
solvable problem.

[funky music playing]

[plastic rustling]

What are you doing?

[Davis] One second.

- Are you into lizards?
- Hmm?

Oh, no, my dad is.

Although, that is not a
lizard. That's a tuatara.

What is that?

I don't know, some leftover
from 200 million years ago

that my dad believes holds
the secret to longevity.

You can learn all about it

at the Pickett Center
for Tuatara Research,

which is a real thing that he's
leaving most of his estate to.

- That is insane.
- Do you know what's worse?

The money doesn't even go to
taking care of the damn thing.

It pays for studying its cells with
all sorts of horrible experiments.

- [footsteps retreating]
- [drawer opens]

[box rattles]

This is for you.

Oh.

Thank you.

Promise me you won't open
it till you get home.

And if you still wanna
see me, give me a call.

Or a text, or whatever people say
that sounds casual and smooth.

[Aza chuckles]

Okay.

[mellow pop music playing]

I should probably go find Daisy.

It's getting late.

Daisy?

[Aza sighs]

Daisy?

Mychal?

[gasps]

[Davis clears throat]

Hey.

Hey, we were just, um...

[Mychal clears throat]

- Uh, we were, we were...
- [Mychal] Um

we were looking for you!

- Mmm-hmm. Right.
- [chuckles]

You weren't in here.

Found us.

[both chuckle]

- You ready to go?
- Yeah.

- Great.
- Let me see...

[mellow pop music continues]

[lock clicking]

[Gina] Aza, you're home late.

I know. Sorry. Traffic.

[music intensifies]

[gasps]

- [knocking at door]
- [gasps]

- I want to hear about your date.
- [Aza] I'm changing.

Good night. Talk to you in
the morning. I love you.

- [gasps]
- [cell phone clicks]

[message whooshes]

[cell phone dings]

[message whooshes]

[cell phone dings]

[message whooshes]

[message whooshes]

[cell phone dings]

[message whooshes]

[exhales]

- [cell phone clicks]
- [gasps]

[cell phone dings]

- [laughs]
- [music fades]

I'm so glad you're here.
Holmsey, I have a lot to say.

Shocker. Listen...

First, I'm sorry to ditch
you last night. Very uncool.

That's totally fine. Daisy...

Second, I know, I know, I know.

I convinced you to come
so that we could snoop,

and then I didn't even snoop.

But Mychal is kind of amazing.

- And I want to hear all about it, but...
- Mmm, mmm.

The first room that
we wandered into

had a fireplace with
a remote control.

And then the next thing I know,
we were cuddled up on this couch

that was also, like,
a literal work of art.

And I don't... One thing led to another
and I just let him, I let him...

Daisy!

[upbeat pop music
playing on speakers]

Look. Look inside.

Oh, I'm more of a frosted
blueberry kind of girl.

Just look inside.

[Daisy scoffs]

[laughs awkwardly]

[exhales]

What in the shit is this?

Davis gave it to me.

I'm not sure if it really makes
sense, or if it's ethical. I don't...

Oh, no, no, no.

For once in your life,
Aza, do not overthink this.

Oh.

Should I have not come here
to tell you you're rich?

It's okay, I can just
hold on to your half.

Wait!

Half of this is mine?

There's 50 grand for each of us.

- [music stops]
- [Daisy squealing, laughing]

- Oh! Ooh!
- [chuckles nervously]

Do you actually
think we can keep it?

Hell yes, we can keep it!

Holmsey, I am so
done with the idea

that there is, like, nobility
in turning down money.

This is gonna change our lives.

I'm actually gonna go to
college. Not at night.

Well, it's not enough to
pay for all of college.

[sighs] Yeah, I know
that, Queen Buzzkill.

But it'll make paying for
college a hell of a lot easier.

Aza, you can put this
towards Northwestern.

My mom can't know
about this money.

Duh, my parents would make
me split it with my sister.

No. No. No!

Now, I need you to just
accept that the universe

is being awesome
with us right now

and lean the eff in.

- I'll try.
- Ooh.

Let's go get the finest meal
Indianapolis has to offer.

[upbeat country music plays]

[Daisy] Hi, Holly.

Two red wines, please.
We're celebrating.

- [Holly] Yeah, nice try.
- [clicks tongue] Okay.

Uh, fine, what is
your best steak?

The shrimp and parm sirloin
is our most popular.

Woof. Okay.

Uh, I will get my usual
blazin' Texan burger,

but I would like to upgrade
my side to onion rings.

And, yes, I know
that it's extra.

- [Holly] And you?
- A veggie burger.

Uh, no tomatoes, cheese,
mayonnaise, onions...

Yeah, I know your order.

- Do you have a coupon?
- [laughing] No.

Not today, Holly. Not today.

[curious music playing]

[typing]

[music fades]

Um...

What is that?

Oh. [Chuckles]
Isn't he fabulous?

I'm naming him Liam.

I thought we were saving
the money for college.

We are. Most of it.

But I talked the car salesman
down to $8,400 from $10,000,

so in a way, I made money.

In no way did you
make any money.

But you already had a car.

- I'm just saying.
- Okay.

Oh. Mychal got into that art
show. It's in a couple weeks.

I know that dirty tunnels
might be a lot for you,

but is there any way that
you could come with me?

Um... Maybe.

[cell phone dings]

Aw.

Mychal wants to meet
up before homeroom.

Ugh! I love how into me he is.

["Sunflower Vol. 6" playing]

- [typing]
- [message whooshes]

[message whooshes]

Now, how I'mma capture the curve
of your face if you keep moving?

Girl, hold still.

You hold still.

[Mychal] That doesn't
even make any sense.

[Daisy] Holding still.

♪ Wondering, head shake ♪

♪ Tired eyes Are
the death of me... ♪

♪ Mouthful of toothpaste ♪

♪ Before I got to know you ♪

♪ I've got your face ♪

♪ Hung up high In
the gallery... ♪

[music soars]

[singer hoots]

[cell phone dings]

[song stops]

- [whistle blows]
- [gasps]

Ow!

Aza, can you at least
pretend to play?

Sorry, Mr. Adler.

[Adler] All right, everybody,
let's get back at it.

♪ My eyes want you
more Than a melody... ♪

Mom.

♪ Let me inside ♪

♪ Wish I could Get to know you ♪

Mom?

- [Gina] Stop it.
- [man laughs]

[Gina and man
speak indistinctly]

- [Gina] You're terrible!
- [Aza] Hi.

Hey, honey.

This is Evan, my friend
Debbie's brother.

Um, you must be Aza.

I've heard such great
things about you.

Evan is a contractor.

He came by after work to see if we
could turn the garage into a bedroom.

Why do we need a new bedroom?
We never have any guests.

Actually, I was thinking
maybe you'd like it.

- For the future.
- Like, when I'm in college?

I'll get out of you guys' way.

[chuckles]

It's nice to finally
meet you, Aza.

- I'll see you later.
- Thank you.

Bye.

- You want me to live in the garage?
- No.

I mean, yes, but it
wouldn't be a garage.

We'd make it into more
of your own apartment.

[scoffs]

So, you think I'm too crazy
to live away from home?

Aza, it was just an idea.

I was trying to get
a sense of the costs.

And IU is close by and
it's such a good school...

Got it.

I'm going over to Davis'
tonight. He's picking me up.

[sighs]

[mellow piano music playing]

[Aza] I feel like we're back
at camp, sitting at the lake.

You see that bright
star up there?

The one kind of by itself.

Yeah, I think so.

Well, that's Tau Ceti.

It's 12 light-years away,

and two of its planets
might actually be habitable.

- Well, probably not, but maybe.
- [chuckles]

It's my favorite star.

Why is that?

I like to look at it

and think about how the
Sun's light looks to someone

in Tau Ceti's solar system.

And right now, they're looking
at our light from 12 years ago.

In the light they see, my
mom has five years to live.

In the light they see,
you and I are just kids.

In the light they see,

my dad just got me
my first tricycle.

We go to the park,
he watches me ride,

and he tells me I'm going so
fast, he can barely see me.

In the light they see,

we have the best and worst
of it in front of us.

Hey, how come it's so easy
for me to talk to you?

I don't know.

Maybe because our hearts are
broken in the same places.

[chuckles]

You wanna go for a swim?

[mellow romantic music playing]

[both chuckle]

- Turn around.
- [chuckles] Okay.

Okay, you can look now.

[laughs softly]

Hi.

Hi.

Do you have any big exams
or anything Wednesday?

No.

Why?

I was kind of hoping I could
convince you to skip school.

I wanna take you somewhere.

Where?

It's a surprise.

[inhales]

[laughs]

[music turns funky]

[cell phone vibrates]

[message whooshes]

[typing]

[Davis typing]

[Aza laughing]

[cell phone clicks]

[Aza] He's cute and smart.

And not just because he
goes to a fancy prep school.

[music fades]

He makes me feel like I'm an
acceptable girl to have a crush on.

And you don't feel that
way about yourself?

I mean, I'm still crazy, if
that's what you're asking.

Nothing's changed
on the crazy front.

I would like to ask you to
frame your mental health

around a word
other than "crazy."

Um, can we try "courageous"?

[scoffs] God, that's
such a psychiatrist move.

[chuckles] Look, Aza, plenty of
people with anxiety disorders

have fulfilling
romantic relationships.

Yeah, but how can I have a boyfriend
if I hate the idea of kissing him?

Being intimate with another person
is intimidating for everyone,

especially for someone who has
already lost someone she loves.

[exhales]

What?

You don't have to make
this about my dad dying.

Not everything is about him.

But you being afraid to
get close to this boy,

I think it may be a
little bit about him.

He was better with
me than my mom.

He never made me feel broken.

He'd just tell me,

"You're right to worry.

Life is worrisome."

[melancholy piano music playing]

Uh, can we go back to talking
about the cute boy again, please?

[inhales sharply]

Aza, I have to be
honest with you.

I think your progress
is being slowed down

by your refusal to take the
medication on a regular basis.

And I believe your chances
of having a relationship

with this cute, smart
boy will be hurt, too.

I just think it's messed up.

The idea of having to take a
pill to become your real self.

And here I thought you said you'd kill
to have a mind that lets go of things.

And you said my mind
is what makes me, me.

But it isn't my
mind on the pills.

[Aza scoffs]

It's a real catch-22, isn't it?

[doorbell rings]

[automated voice]
Someone's at the door.

[lock clicks open]

[Aza] Hey.

I'm, uh, here to hang
out with your brother.

Oh, yeah, I know.

He's been trying on different
outfits all morning.

Hey, Davis. Your
girlfriend's here.

- Oh, I'm... I'm not his girlfriend.
- Sure.

Hey, can I show you something?

[mellow curious music playing]

Davis said you and your friend
were trying to find my dad.

Oh, uh, no. Not really.

- Um, I mean, I...
- Uh, just check this out.

- A permission slip?
- Uh, look at the back.

That's his handwriting.

[Aza] "Maldives,
Kosovo, Cambodia.

The Joggers Mouth"?

So, Davis says those first three
are countries where people hide out

when they're wanted in America.

But I can't figure
out The Joggers Mouth.

Does it mean anything to you?

Uh...

No.

I'm really sorry, Noah.

[sighs]

[paper rustles]

Okay.

Hi. Sorry to keep you waiting.

Um, I was thinking
really hard about

whether I can pull this
sweater off or not. [Chuckles]

- I like it.
- No, you can't.

You ready to go?

- You have your own airplane?
- No, my father does.

But my father's not here, so...

- And you have a full-time pilot, too?
- You're looking at him.

You can get your pilot's
license at 16, so...

Voila.

Aza, I'm kidding.

Meet Richard.

- He's a trained professional.
- [both laugh]

[laughing] Oh.

- [Davis] Hi.
- [Aza] Hi.

[Aza exhales]

["Zeitgeist" playing]

- [Aza typing]
- [Davis] Howdy, Richard.

♪ Outside lies within... ♪

[message whooshes]

- You coming? Come on.
- [Aza laughs]

♪ Soft spring winds
Have blown... ♪

[laughing] Oh. What!

♪ Let the note fly ♪

♪ East-West ♪

[vocalizing]

[imperceptible]

♪ I never dreamed it
could be like this ♪

♪ Takes a little time ♪

♪ Let the note fly ♪

♪ Hard time mantle of time... ♪

[Richard] Lady and gentleman,

we will be touching
down in Chicago shortly.

Chicago?

Richard, it was supposed
to be a surprise.

What are we doing in Chicago?

- It's still a surprise.
- [laughs]

♪ Honey, honey, I know ♪

♪ For what it's worth... ♪

[Davis] You said you dreamed
of going to Northwestern,

but that new things aren't
really your strong suit.

So, I thought if you saw the
school, it wouldn't be new anymore.

It'd be old-new.

Are we going on a campus tour?

Not exactly.

♪ Outside lies within ♪

♪ Peel the mandarin ♪

♪ Love has just begun ♪

♪ Somewhere In
space and time... ♪

[softly] Come on.

♪ Like a bank heist ♪

♪ It's the Zeitgeist ♪

[song fades]

[Aza chuckles]

I can't believe Professor
Abbott is right there.

Okay.

We have 90 minutes. Let's
crack free will, shall we?

[students laughing]

You, eating Doritos.

Why?

Why?

[Professor Abbott] Is it
because you were hungry

and you made that choice?

Is it because advertising works?

[students laughing]

Is it because there was only
ever going to be one world,

and everything was
predetermined from the start,

and you were always
gonna take this class?

Well, in our reading,
there was that part

where Kant said, "Freedom of
the will must be presupposed."

So, I suppose I could've chosen
any food, but I chose Doritos.

You did the reading.
Wonderful news.

[students laughing]

And if we just assume that Kant was right,
maybe we don't need the full 90 minutes.

But Kant was writing about this
in the 18th century, right?

And now we have all these
fancy brain contraptions.

In 2008, volunteers were asked
to choose to push a button

with either their right
hand or their left hand.

And the researchers found that they
could predict with 100% accuracy

which choice the
people would make

seven seconds before the
person believed they'd made it.

[mellow music playing]

So, I ask you again.

When did you decide
to eat Doritos?

And who made that choice?

I have no idea.

[students laughing]

[Professor Abbott] It's
difficult to define these terms.

- I need to take this class.
- [Professor Abbott] What constitutes

freedom of choice in a world where
our choices are endlessly limited

and shaped by cultural forces?

I mean, she has a way of taking these
old, dusty philosophical questions

and making them feel
so insanely relevant.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Okay.

Why are we hiding?

Because she's right there.

[Davis] You should
go talk to her.

- What would I even say?
- Aza.

You got this.

[Aza] Hi, Professor Abbott.

I wanted to introduce myself.

I'm Aza Holmes, and I'm

a fan.

Are you a fan of
being my student?

No, I'm still in high school.
I'm just visiting today.

But you're the reason
I wanna go here.

I just think you're the most
brilliant person in the world.

Oh, well. [Chuckles]

Thank you so much, but I
assure you that's not the case.

[chuckles]

It was nice to meet you.

Professor Abbott?

Yes?

I'm worried that I'm not real.

[music fades]

Why is that?

It's like what you said.

A lot of my thoughts and behaviors
don't even feel like they're mine.

Like, they're not things
I want to think or do.

And then when I look for the
originator of my thoughts, the real me,

I never find it.

You know those nesting dolls?

The ones that are hollow
and when you open them up,

there's a smaller one inside?

And you keep opening them until
eventually you get to the smallest one,

and it's solid all
the way through?

But with me, I don't think
there's one that's solid.

I just keep getting
smaller and smaller.

That reminds me of an old story.

Um...

There's this very
famous scientist,

and he's giving a lecture on
astronomy to a large audience.

And he's describing how
the Earth orbits the Sun,

and the Sun orbits the
galaxy, etcetera, etcetera.

And when he's finally done,

a little old lady in the back
raises her hand and says,

"Professor, with all due respect,
what you've just told us is bullshit.

The truth is, the Earth is resting
on the back of a giant turtle."

So, the very famous scientist
gives a smug smile and says,

"So, what is the
turtle resting on?"

And the woman replies,

"It's resting on the shell of
another giant turtle, of course."

And the scientist says,
"And that turtle?"

And the woman exclaims,
"Don't you understand?

It's turtles, all the way down."

You're imagining the true self,

the self that exists
independent of circumstance,

as that turtle on the
very bottom of the pile.

But maybe it's turtles,
all the way down.

Maybe you're infinite.

[upbeat pop music building]

And I think your doubts make
you more real, not less.

I think you'd do
just fine here, Aza.

[laughs]

[laughing]

So, how'd it go?

Ah.

[both chuckle]

[Aza] His bacteria are joining
your bacteria right now.

It doesn't matter.

People kiss all the time.

[tense music playing]

Millions of his organisms are
entering your body right now.

[softly] Hey.

Is everything okay?

[Aza] Hmm.

Yeah, I'm just, uh...

Just a little nauseous.

Be right back.

[door opens, closes]

- What were you thinking?
- [panting]

Everything was going perfectly
and you had to ruin it

by letting his tongue
into your mouth.

Why isn't it working?

- [static crackles]
- [water running]

[panting]

You're infected.

You need to kill the
bacteria now, now, now.

Oh, shut up!

Kill it. Kill every last germ.

Kill his saliva.

You know what you need to
do, so do it. Just do it.

[music fades]

[breathing heavily]

Aza, what's goin' on?

When I get stuck in my thoughts,

it's not just the interesting
fish stuff I told you about.

Okay.

Bacteria scares me
more than anything.

I'm always worried about
getting infections,

and once I start
worrying, I can't stop.

That's why I liked
your painting so much.

Because my thoughts
are like that.

They're all, like, spirally.

So, right now you're thinking about
whether you have an infection?

Kind of.

From kissing you.

[somber piano music playing]

We don't have to kiss. We can
just take things really slow.

You don't understand.

It's not logical.

It's like I'm
living with a demon.

And maybe you don't care right now,
but you won't feel that way forever.

But it's not forever.

It's now.

[lock clicks open]

Oh, thank God.

- Where have you been?
- [door shuts]

[lock clicks]

Why haven't you been
answering your phone?

[exhales shakily]

I was with Davis.

I see you at school at the same
time every single day, Aza.

Did you seriously think
I wasn't gonna find out?

I don't know. I
guess I didn't care.

- Well, where'd you guys go?
- We went to Chicago.

To Chicago?

What the hell were
you doing in Chicago?

He didn't kidnap
me. I wanted to go.

Well, I don't care
if you wanted to go.

What if something happened to you and
I didn't even know where you were?

Or what if you got in your head
and you needed me to calm you down?

You think you calm me down?

How, Mom?

Do you know why Davis
took me to Chicago today?

[breathes shakily]

To see Northwestern.

Because he actually thinks that
I can go to school on my own

in another state.

He thinks that I can
study what I wanna study,

and live in a dorm
with the other kids.

And maybe he's
wrong. Maybe I can't.

But do you know how good it feels
to finally have someone in my life

who thinks I can?

- Aza!
- [door slams]

[somber instrumental
music playing]

[cell phone dings]

[clicks mouse]

[typing]

[Daisy] "Chewie and I were on Tatooine
where we'd stopped to pick up some cargo.

Of course, Ayala was with me. My
best friend and my greatest burden."

[clicking mouse]

"Ayala reached into her mane of
blue hair and plucked out a strand.

A nervous habit, but then,
all her habits were nervous."

"Ayala never got anything right.

The more Ayala worried, the
worse she made everything."

"Ayala sneered at
my new Speeder Bike.

'I thought you were
saving your money.'

Ayala had a Landspeeder from
her parents. What did she know?

Ayala wasn't a bad person.
Just a useless one."

[music crescendoes, fades]

[gasps]

[intense pop music playing]

[cell phone vibrates]

- [locker clicks open]
- [cell phone vibrating]

[laughing, speaking
indistinctly]

[cell phone vibrates]

- [music stops]
- [Daisy] Holmsey!

Where have you been all day?

Can I ride with you to Mychal's
later? My mom had to borrow my car.

And I need the
deets on your date.

I just don't get it.

He whisks you away to Chicago.

You have the most romantic
day in the history of ever.

[chuckles] Now you don't
want to see him anymore?

Something else must've happened.

Did you guys do it?

No. I told you nothing happened.

Yeah, but that doesn't make
any sense. I'm sure that...

I screwed it up?

[chuckles] What?

No.

You barely even changed my name.

You read my fanfic?

Yes, I read your fanfic!

You're my best friend. You
didn't think maybe I'd read it?

No, I didn't.

Because I've been writing
them since I was 11,

and you've never
read a single one.

What? You never asked.

I shouldn't have to ask.

Other people's best
friends would just

take a little break from
endlessly contemplating

the inner workings of their own mind to
think about other people's interests.

I came up with Ayala
in seventh grade.

And, yeah, it was a dick move,

but maybe it was my way of coping
with having a best friend who's...

Look, Mychal says that
you're like mustard, right?

Like, you're awesome in small
quantities, but a lot of you is a lot.

Got it.

I mean, have you ever stopped to
think about what it's like for me?

I constantly have your back
and you never have mine.

You're right.

All our friendship
has gotten you lately

is 50 grand and a boyfriend.

But you won't even come
with me to his art show.

Other people's best
friends would...

[breathing heavily]

I mean, I know that you have
mental problems and whatever,

but they make you
extremely self-centered.

I am not self-centered!

What are my parents' names?

What are their jobs?

What's my middle name?

Do I have any pets?

You're just so
pathologically uncurious

that you don't even know
what you don't know.

- You have a cat.
- Yes.

Congratulations,
Aza, I have a cat.

I've had her since I was
five. What's her name?

- I don't know.
- No, you have no clue.

You have no idea what it's like
for me, because you never ask.

I mean, you think you and
your mom are poor or whatever,

but you got braces, and a car,
and an iPad, and all that shit.

Do you think that
it's just normal

to have a house with
your own room in it?

And a mom who helps
you with your homework?

I mean, your privileges are
like oxygen to you, Aza.

And then you judge me for buying a car
instead of saving it all for college.

And I try not to care, and I try
to be understanding because...

Stop talking!

Jesus Christ, you haven't
shut up in ten years!

I'm sorry if it's hard
hanging out with me,

but imagine actually being me!

Imagine being stuck in
my head all the time

with no break, no way out!

I'm sorry that...

And to use Mychal's
clever little analogy.

Imagine eating
nothing but mustard!

Being stuck with
mustard all the time!

Okay, I shouldn't
have said that.

And if you hate me so much then why
don't you just stop asking me...

Watch out!

- [tense music playing]
- [tires screeching]

[music fades]

[somber tense music playing]

[echoing] Are you okay?

[Aza] I think so.

[breathing heavily]

Are you?

You're hurt.

Aza, stop.

- [Aza grunts]
- Stay still.

Aza!

[glass crunching]

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

[crying] No.

[firefighter] Hey.
Are you all right?

It's ruined.

My dad's car.

[firefighter] Honey, I've been
doing this for a long time,

and I can promise, your dad's
not gonna be mad at you.

[Aza breathing heavily]

I need help!

[somber tense music continues]

[music fades]

Hey, kiddo.

You're in the hospital, but
everything's gonna be okay.

I love you so much.

Mmm, is... Is Daisy okay?

They gave her some
stitches on her forehead,

but she's gonna be fine.

[sobbing]

I ruined Harold.

I know, baby.

Dad loved that car.

Dad loved you.

Am I okay?

You have a lacerated liver,

but the internal
bleeding is mild.

- I'm bleeding inside?
- Just a little.

[breathing heavily]

The good news is you
don't need surgery.

- They just wanna monitor you...
- [sobs]

for a few days.

What?

No. [Cries]

- No, I can't stay here, Mom.
- Aza.

Please, please just do
something. I can't stay here.

[gasping]

I have to go home.

I'm gonna get C. Diff if I stay.

- You don't have C. Diff.
- I probably

already have C. Diff.

No, you don't have C. Diff.

Hospitals are where
people get it, okay?

I can't stay here, Mom.

- I can't stay here!
- Aza! Aza!

- Your liver is bleeding! We can't go home.
- [crying] I have...

But I'll be with
you the whole time.

- I promise.
- I have to go. I have to go...

[tense pulsating music playing]

[Aza] C. Diff is invading
your body right now.

It's all around you.

You're infected.

You're full of bacteria
colonizing you.

It's all colonizing you,
and you can't stop it.

You can't.

You can't have a boyfriend.
You can't go to college.

You can't have a job.

You can't even control
your own brain.

You can't. You can't. You can't.

[gasping]

You know how to deal with this.

It's the only way.
It's the only way.

[breathing heavily]

Come on, kill it.
Kill the infection.

You have to. You
have to. You have to.

Please, please think
about something else.

Mmm!

I hate being stuck inside you!

You wanna feel better? You
know how to feel better.

It'll just make me sick.

Do you wanna die of C. Diff?

This is not rational. Your
now is not your forever.

This is not rational. Your
now is not your forever.

Kill the infection!
Kill it! Kill it now!

- [music building]
- [breathing heavily]

[slurps]

[gulps]

Please, let me go.

- Please, I'll do anything.
- [slurping]

You can have this body.
I don't want it anymore.

[dispenser rattling]

I am my way, I am not my will.
I am my way, not my will.

- You'll never be free of this.
- [gagging]

- You're possessed by a demon!
- [grunting]

Do you want to die
of fucking C. Diff?

No! Because you will.

I will. You will.

I will. You will.

[grunting]

[door opens] - [Gina] Aza!
No, no, what are you doing?

No, stop that.

- Stop it. Aza, stop that!
- [Aza] You're disgusting.

- You make me sick.
- [Gina] Help. Nurse!

- Stop it.
- You're not possessed by a demon.

[music slows]

You are the demon.

[music fades]

You want some breakfast?

[Aza] Mmm-mmm.

My stomach hurts.

They had to pump it.

[sighs]

You can probably
guess who that's from.

I called Dr. Singh.

Please don't be mad at me.

[whispering] I just
didn't know what to do.

I'm not mad.

Thank you, Mom.

How are you feeling?

Well [sighs]

not great.

I think it would be good for you
to start seeing me more regularly.

I don't want you left alone
with your thoughts for too long.

- Okay.
- Good.

I also think we should give exposure
response therapy another try,

and... and we can take it slow.

But, Aza, you have to
take your medication.

Or we find another medication
that works better for you

that you are willing
to take, as prescribed.

- None of them have worked.
- None of them have worked yet.

[calming music playing]

[Gina] ♪ We're here because ♪

♪ We're here because ♪

♪ We're here
because We're here ♪

♪ We're here because ♪

♪ We're here because ♪

♪ We're here
because We're here ♪

♪ We're here because ♪

♪ We're here because ♪

♪ We're here
because We're here ♪

[Gina humming]

[imperceptible]

[Gina continues humming]

[stops humming]

[music fades]

[message whooshes]

[indie pop music
playing on speakers]

[chuckles]

[Aza chuckles]

- Hi.
- Hi.

I'm sorry it took so
long for me to reach out.

It's okay.

I just... I needed some time.

I missed you.

[static crackles]

I missed you, too.

I talked to your
mom a few times.

[thoughtful music playing]

[fading] And she was actually really
nice about keeping me updated...

- [Aza] Maybe you could kiss him.
- [imperceptible]

It'll be different.

- [static crackles]
- No, no, no. Don't kiss him.

You'll get sick. You'll have
to go back to the hospital.

Then you'll get C. Diff. You'll
have to go back to the hospital.

- Then you'll get C. Diff.
- How are you feeling?

Are you there?

[static crackles]

Uh, yeah.

[music building]

- Sorry.
- I asked how you were feeling.

Good.

Generally.

Uh...

Not so good right now, though.

Could you, um, maybe sit
across from me instead?

I was hoping I'd be better.

I've been taking my meds
and working with Dr. Singh.

I thought

maybe, uh, I could
even kiss you.

I think I am better.

But I guess I'm just not

better enough.

Maybe we could text?

I just...

I need to be liked up close.

[door opens]

- [Gina] Hey, how was Davis?
- [lock clicks]

Fine.

[Gina] Come here.

[thoughtful music slows]

You know, when you first started having
thought spirals, I was so confused.

You'd been such a
happy little girl,

and, suddenly, you were
so scared of everything.

And I... I couldn't
make you feel better.

But your dad got me through it.

This sounds crazy, but he'd make me
stare at my reflection in the mirror

and tell myself all the things
I did right that day, out loud.

And it worked.

For those few
minutes before bed,

I actually felt okay.

He was the one person

that made me feel good
at being your mom.

And now, he's gone,
[inhales sharply]

and I can't calm myself down.

So, I just go about my day,

terrified that something
bad's gonna happen.

[music fades]

Terrified that I'm failing you.

But you're not.

Okay. [Sniffles]

I can do it if you want.

The mirror thing.

We can do that together.

No, that's okay. [Laughs]

Oh, thank God.

Us doing that
sounded really weird.

[Gina chuckles]

Aza, when the garage is redone,

we'll rent it out to help
pay for your tuition.

- Really?
- You will go to college wherever you want.

You know why?

Because you never give up.

That's one of the
things I love about you.

No matter how scared you
are, you never stop trying.

[warm gentle music playing]

Um...

Mom, I need to borrow your car.

[music building]

Davis said he needs to be liked up
close, and I can't do that right now,

but I'm gonna like my
best friend up close,

even if it kills me.
[Inhales sharply]

Hey, while we're telling
each other things,

when Davis and I first started
hanging out, he gave me $50,000.

It either goes to
me or a tuatara,

so I'm putting it towards
Northwestern, okay?

Great. Bye. [Speaking Spanish]

Wha...

[exciting music playing]

[grunts]

[music fades]

[Aza in English] You need
to be here for Daisy.

You need to be here. You need
to be here. You need to be here.

[static crackles]

[dance music
playing on speakers]

[indistinct conversation]

- Hey, Aza.
- Hi.

Uh, I guess I assumed
you weren't coming.

Oh, and I...

And I'm so sorry about the
accident and your liver.

Oh, I'm fine.

This is awesome.

I mean, I don't understand art, but
even I can tell that it's awesome.

[both chuckle]

I don't know about that,
but thank you. Really.

- For coming.
- I wanna be a supportive friend.

It's this new thing I'm trying.

[both chuckle]

[indistinct conversation]

[music turns thoughtful]

[Daisy] How's the liver?

[river gushing]

[Aza] De-lacerated.

How are you?

Oh, I got off easy.

Although, you'd never know it by
how Mychal is acting. [Chuckles]

He named all six of my stitches and
wrote them each individual love poems.

I'm really sorry, Daisy.

You deserve the most amazing, supportive,
attentive friend in the world.

Not one who almost killed
you in a car crash.

[chuckling] Jesus, Holmsey.

You can sure hold a
grudge against yourself.

If you can't tell, I've
already forgiven you.

And I'm sorry about Ayala.

You don't have to be.

Yeah.

I do.

Yes, you can be exhausting,
but you are not like mustard.

You're the most fascinating
person I've ever known.

I love you.

- I want to be buried next to you.
- [chuckles]

We'll have a shared tombstone.

It'll read, "Holmsey and Daisy.
They did everything together.

- Except the nasty."
- [both laugh]

[Daisy] Mmm.

[gentle piano music playing]

[Aza] I'm not like mustard, but
maybe I'm like Indianapolis.

They had this shit river,

but they worked
with what they had.

And they managed to build
an okay city around it.

Not a great city, but not bad.

A B-minus.

Well, I think you're at least
a B-plus. You and this city.

This skyline.

These tunnels.

This bridge.

[both giggle]

This sewage.

[laughs]

This tire, this
cinder block, this...

- I don't know, what are those?
- Wait, Daisy.

- Go back, go back, go back!
- What?

Isn't that...

[tense music playing]

[exhales shakily]

[Daisy gasps]

Pogue's Run.

Daisy, the spot
where a river ends,

- isn't it called...
- A mouth?

This is The Joggers Mouth.

What?

It was something Pickett scribbled
down right before escaping.

What's that?

A note to Davis and Noah.

The worst kind of note.

Do you think he jumped?

Should we call the cops?

I don't want him to find out
from some random detective.

[music slows]

[imperceptible]

[music turns somber]

[music fades]

[somber piano music playing]

[imperceptible]

[music turns mellow]

[whooshing on TV]

[Gina] So, how do I look?

Um, like you're
trying to get lucky.

- What? Is it too much? Should I change?
- Mom, no. You look amazing.

And by "amazing" she means hot.

- [chuckles]
- [doorbell rings]

Ooh! Get it!

Uh, tell Evan if he doesn't get you
home by 11:00, you're in big trouble.

Big trouble.

Well, you are far too
young to be my date.

[both chuckle]

[Davis] Hi, Mrs. Holmes.

Is Aza here?

[Aza] Davis.

I stole it from
a lizard for you.

Thank you.

Aza, Noah and I are moving.

Where?

Colorado.

Noah got into a special
school out there.

We just need a fresh start

after everything.

When are you leaving?

Tomorrow.

[Aza exhales]

You're a good brother.

[soft rock guitar
music building]

It's a funny phrase, isn't it?

"In love."

You don't get to be
in anything else.

In friendship, or in hope.

All you can be in, is love.

[softly] I think if I don't
go now, I'll never leave.

Okay.

Goodbye, Aza.

[soft rock guitar
music continues]

Maybe he'll be back.

[music fades]

Yeah.

Maybe.

"No one ever says goodbye unless
they wanna see you again."

Daisy?

Yeah.

Do you think I'll ever be able
to actually be with someone?

Yes.

[soft rock guitar
music building]

I think you will.

I think you, Aza Holmes,

will have a very full life.

I think you'll go to college
and study whatever you want.

And you'll have a career.

One that you're proud of.

And I think you will
be with someone.

Someone great.

I think you, Holmsey,

will have an
incredible love story.

[music turns triumphant]

I even think you'll have a
family of your own one day.

You're gonna make a whole
damn life for yourself.

I know it.

But I don't want to lie to you.

I think it'll be hard sometimes.

[music turns poignant]

I think, sometimes, you'll
see that life unbuilt.

[music building]

But you'll always rebuild it.

And you will never be alone.

I promise.

Because you will always
love and be loved.

And love is both

how you become a person and why.

Love, Holmsey,

is how you become real.

[music turns triumphant]

["I'm Not Perfect (But
I'm Trying)" playing]

♪ Never in or out ♪

♪ Indecisive ♪

♪ Never did I think I'd
be doing this alone ♪

♪ Now we're upside down ♪

♪ Blinded ♪

♪ I'll admit defeat I
can barely sleep at all ♪

♪ I'd walk on water If I could ♪

♪ To be loved To be understood ♪

♪ What's it worth Was
it for the good? ♪

♪ For the good ♪

♪ I'm not perfect
But I'm trying ♪

♪ Pick my moment
Then I'll dive in ♪

♪ I've had my fair
share Of mistakes ♪

♪ So for now It's far too late ♪

♪ I'll wait until
The tide's in ♪

♪ If it's all about The timing ♪

♪ I don't feel enough What's
the need To rush for now? ♪

♪ I see clouds Without
a silver lining ♪

♪ When I hesitate Nothing
ever lets me down ♪

♪ I'd walk on water If I could ♪

♪ To be loved To be understood ♪

♪ What's it worth Was
it for the good? ♪

♪ For the good ♪

♪ I'm not perfect
But I'm trying ♪

♪ Pick my moment
Then I'll dive in ♪

♪ I've had my fair
share Of mistakes ♪

♪ So for now It's far too late ♪

♪ I'll wait until
The tide's in ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh ♪

♪ I'll wait until
The tide's in ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Dive in ♪

♪ Water ♪

♪ Dive in ♪

♪ Even when times
Get difficult ♪

♪ Water ♪

♪ Dive in ♪

♪ Even when times ♪

♪ I'm not perfect
But I'm trying ♪

♪ Pick my moment
Then I'll dive in ♪

♪ I've had my fair
share Of mistakes ♪

♪ So for now It's far too late ♪

♪ I'll wait until
The tide's in ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ I'll wait until ♪

♪ I'll wait until
The tide goes in ♪

♪ Water ♪

♪ Dive in ♪

♪ Oh, dive in ♪

♪ Water ♪

♪ Dive in ♪

[song ends]

[calming pop music playing]

[music fades]