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1
00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:06,638
IS IT WRONG
THAT I'M EXCITED
2
00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,539
ABOUT OUR KIDS GETTING
THEIR WISDOM TEETH OUT?
3
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:10,305
I WOULDN'T
GO WIDE WITH IT.
4
00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:13,006
I JUST THINK IT'LL BE FUN TO
HAVE SUE AND AXL TRAPPED HERE,
5
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,480
YOU KNOW,
ALL NEEDY AND IN PAIN.
6
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:16,380
WAIT,
THAT DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT.
7
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:19,215
IT'S JUST... REMEMBER WHEN THEY
WERE LITTLE AND OUR PRISONERS?
8
00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:20,754
WELL, NOT OUR PRISONERS,
BUT...
9
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,232
BUT BEFORE THEY COULD
HOP THE BABY GATE.
10
00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:23,349
YEAH.
11
00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:25,085
AND THE WERE ALL SQUISHY
AND HELPLESS,
12
00:00:25,158 --> 00:00:26,736
AND WE COULD JUST LOVE ON THEM
WHENEVER WE WANTED TO.
13
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,285
YEAH,
THAT WAS MORE YOUR THING.
14
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:31,496
WHY AM I EVEN HERE?
15
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:32,675
WHY ARE YOU
MAKING ME DO THIS?
16
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,258
MY TEETH FEEL TOTALLY FINE.
17
00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:35,478
LOOK, WE KNEW
YOU WERE GONNA HAVE TO
18
00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:37,061
GET YOUR WISDOM TEETH OUT,
19
00:00:37,137 --> 00:00:39,082
AND IT'S BETTER TO DO IT NOW
BEFORE IT STARTS HURTING.
20
00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:41,701
PLUS, I GET A 40% DISCOUNT
AT SMILE SUPERSTARS,
21
00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:43,419
AND YOU NEVER KNOW
WHEN I'M GONNA BE FIRED.
22
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,503
MY SPRING BREAKS ALWAYS SUCK.
23
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:47,445
NOT THIS TIME...
I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU.
24
00:00:47,514 --> 00:00:48,709
I'M GONNA BRING YOU SOUP
25
00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:50,546
AND MAKE YOUR FAVORITE
LIME-GREEN JELL-O.
26
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:52,347
OH, MY GOD,
THAT'S BRICK'S FAVORITE.
27
00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:54,411
IT'S ALWAYS
ALL ABOUT HIM!
28
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:01,318
NOT SO FAST.
29
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,159
EVERY TIME YOU TWO
COME HOME FROM COLLEGE,
30
00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:05,165
YOU THINK
YOU CAN JUST BREEZE IN,
31
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:07,292
AND EVERYTHING GOES BACK
TO THE WAY IT WAS.
32
00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:09,029
WELL, THINGS HAVE CHANGED.
33
00:01:09,102 --> 00:01:11,537
THERE'S A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN,
AND HIS NAME IS BRICK.
34
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,540
NOW, HERE'S HOW
IT'S GONNA GO DOWN.
35
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:16,202
ONE... I NOW HAVE FIRST DIBS
ON THE BATHROOM
36
00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:18,472
DURING THE PEAK HOURS
OF 7:00 TO 9:00.
37
00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:22,141
TWO... I CONTROL THE REMOTE,
TRUMPED ONLY BY DAD.
38
00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:26,243
IT GOES DAD, ME, YOU TWO...
THEN MOM.
39
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:29,518
THREE... I'M NOT SITTING IN
THE LAWN CHAIR AT MEALS ANYMORE.
40
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:30,667
WHATEVER. IT DOESN'T MATTER.
WE...
41
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,250
I BELIEVE I WAS TALKING.
42
00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:34,522
AND FOUR... "THE DUKES
OF HAZZARD" BEACH TOWEL
43
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,223
IS NO LONGER MY BATH TOWEL.
44
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,265
MOM BOUGHT ME
A REAL BATH TOWEL.
45
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:40,597
YOU TWO MAY NOW CHOOSE BETWEEN
THE DUKES
46
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:43,227
AND THE SCRATCHY ONE THAT
USED TO LINE THE BUNNY'S CAGE.
47
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:47,297
SO, THAT'S HOW IT'S GONNA BE
FROM NOW AND HITHERTO FORTHWITH.
48
00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:49,639
YOU'RE ADORABLE.
49
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,770
MISSED YOU.
50
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:53,541
SO,
WHEN MY TEETH COME OUT,
51
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,242
THERE'S NOT GONNA BE
ANY SHIFTING, RIGHT?
52
00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:57,079
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN TOLD
I HAVE SPONGY BONE.
53
00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:58,584
ALSO, I PRONATE A LITTLE
WHEN I RUN.
54
00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:00,463
OH, AND IF ANYTHING HAPPENS
TO ME DURING SURGERY,
55
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:02,217
DO NOT ALLOW MY BROTHER
TO FREEZE MY HEAD.
56
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,734
TOO LATE... ALREADY CLEARED OUT
A SPACE NEXT TO MY HOT POCKETS.
57
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:06,226
OKAY, SO, JUST SIT TIGHT,
58
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,837
AND THE DOCTOR SHOULD BE IN
IN A MINUTE.
59
00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:09,796
JUST TO BE CLEAR,
I GET THE PEOPLE DOCTOR.
60
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:12,162
THIS ONE'S
GONNA NEED A VET.
61
00:02:12,232 --> 00:02:14,360
TELL YOU WHAT... I'VE GOT
AN OLDER BROTHER, TOO.
62
00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:17,165
HOW ABOUT I DO YOU A FAVOR
AND PUT HIM TO SLEEP FIRST?
63
00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:21,698
♪♪♪♪
64
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,801
BIG PROBLEMO, MIKE.
65
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:25,436
MARLENE'S BACK IN TOWN.
66
00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:26,512
YOU GOT TO HIDE ME.
67
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,276
WHY?
SHE'S NOT PREGNANT, IS SHE?
68
00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:29,748
WELL, NO. WHY?
69
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:32,251
YOU GUYS HAVE A THING
ON THE SIDE OR SOMETHING?
70
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,787
- WHAT?
- OH.
71
00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:36,653
NO, IT'S JUST, UH, SHE CAUGHT ME
AT DAD'S YESTERDAY,
72
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,555
AND SHE REALLY LAID INTO ME.
73
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:41,459
SHE WAS LIKE, "YOU'RE
THE WORST EX-HUSBAND EVER.
74
00:02:41,528 --> 00:02:42,757
YOU'RE NOT
FORWARDING MY MAIL.
75
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,559
THE DIAPER BUSINESS
BELONGS TO ME.
76
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,793
YOU TOOK THE GOOD TIRE
OFF MY CAR."
77
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:49,496
SHE WAS...
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, BACK UP.
78
00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:50,696
IT'S TRUE, MIKE.
79
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,637
I...
I DON'T FORWARD HER MAIL.
80
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:54,231
NO, AFTER THAT.
81
00:02:54,307 --> 00:02:56,152
WHY WOULD SHE SAY THE DIAPER
BUSINESS BELONGS TO HER?
82
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,202
OH.
OH, WELL, YOU KNOW WOMEN.
83
00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:01,715
YEAH, THEY...
THEY'RE ALWAYS SO POSSESSIVE.
84
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:05,275
WHAT WITH THAT
AND IT BEING HER IDEA AND ALL.
85
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:06,445
HER IDEA?
86
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,216
WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
87
00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:10,757
YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T THINK
HIDING ME IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA.
88
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,793
I WISH WE COULD JUST
SWITCH FACES.
89
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,589
YOU KNOW,
LIKE IN THAT MOVIE.
90
00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:16,186
I CAN'T PUT MY FINGER ON IT.
91
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:18,732
I WANT TO SAY, UH,
"CINEMA PARADISO," IS IT?
92
00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:22,201
ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT THE
DIAPERS WERE MARLENE'S IDEA?
93
00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:23,794
UH, OH, YEAH.
94
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,463
BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
95
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:28,270
I GOT ANOTHER WINNER BREWING,
AND IT'S ALL MINE.
96
00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:30,936
IT'S THE HUMAN HAND
BACK SCRATCHER.
97
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,889
I KNOW A FELLA WHO WORKS
DOWN IN THE MORGUE,
98
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:36,213
AND HE CAN GET ME
BUCKETS OF HANDS.
99
00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:41,278
AND THE GREAT THING IS THE NAILS
KEEP GROWING AFTER YOU DIE.
100
00:03:41,354 --> 00:03:43,550
THAT'S A TRUE STORY.
101
00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:44,955
REMEMBER
WHEN WE WERE LITTLE
102
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,736
AND I STOPPED YOU
FROM DRINKING THAT MOP & GLO?
103
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:47,853
YEAH.
104
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:49,624
KIND OF REGRETTING THAT
RIGHT NOW.
105
00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:51,562
I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT, MIKE.
106
00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:53,497
SHE WAS
PRETTY DRUNK YESTERDAY.
107
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,968
I BET SHE DOESN'T REMEMBER
A THING.
108
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:04,242
THAT MIGHT BE HER.
109
00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:10,646
MORNING, SLEEPY HEAD.
MOMMY'S HERE.
110
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:12,479
YOU'RE ALL DONE.
IT WENT GREAT.
111
00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:15,518
WHERE DID I
KEEP MY
112
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,233
YOU'VE GOT GAUZE IN YOUR MOUTH,
SWEETHEART.
113
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,226
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU.
114
00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:23,428
WHY IS JULIA ROBERTS HERE?
115
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:26,467
DID JULIA ROBERTS
DO MY SURGERY?
116
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:28,331
THAT'S NOT JULIA ROBERTS,
HONEY.
117
00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:29,664
I WORK WITH HER.
118
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:32,501
YOU WORK WITH
JULIA ROBERTS?
119
00:04:32,572 --> 00:04:34,541
LET'S GET MY LITTLE CHICKIES
BACK IN THE NEST.
120
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:35,667
OH.
121
00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,335
ALL RIGHT,
HERE WE GO, HONEY.
122
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:38,621
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
123
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:40,807
OH, YEAH.
THAT'S SO NICE.
124
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:42,372
OH,
JUST LEAN ON ME, HONEY.
125
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,781
THAT'S RIGHT,
MOMMY'S GOT YOU.
126
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:45,876
- THANK YOU, MOMMY.
- AWW.
127
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:48,751
LOOK, MARLENE,
I GOT TO TELL YOU,
128
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:51,690
I'M A LITTLE CONFUSED
ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
129
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:53,351
WHAT'S CONFUSING?
130
00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:56,760
RUSTY STOLE MY HEART,
MY VIRGINITY, AND MY IDEA.
131
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:57,889
NO, WAIT, THAT'S WRONG.
132
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,456
IT WAS JUST HEART AND IDEA.
133
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:02,696
YEAH, LOOK,
I'M TRYING TO KEEP MY COOL HERE,
134
00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:04,533
SO CAN YOU GUYS
JUST WALK ME THROUGH
135
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:06,835
HOW EXACTLY YOU FIGURE
THIS IS YOUR IDEA?
136
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,842
WELL, SHE WANTED
TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT,
137
00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:11,037
SO WE DECIDED TO
BUY A LOTTERY TICKET.
138
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,745
AND THEN WE WON.
139
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,442
EXCEPT IT TURNS OUT THAT
TO OFFICIALLY GET THE MONEY,
140
00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:17,643
YOU NEED TO HAVE MORE THAN
ONE NUMBER CORRECT.
141
00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:19,777
WHAT DOES THIS HAVE ANYTHING
TO DO WITH ANYTHING?
142
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:22,721
WELL, MR. IMPATIENT.
143
00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:25,588
THEN WE WENT HOME,
AND SHE CAME UP WITH THE IDEA.
144
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,288
SHEESH, SURE KNOW HOW TO
WRECK A STORY, DON'T YOU?
145
00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:30,330
YEAH.
I'M ON TO YOU, MIKE.
146
00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:31,831
I WANT MY SHARE.
147
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:34,333
YOU TRIED TO CUT ME OUT,
BUT YOU CAN'T.
148
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:38,600
I'M GONNA STICK TO YOU LIKE
PASTIES ON A STRIPPER'S BOOB.
149
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:39,935
I'M...
150
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,531
LOOK,
I KNOW IT'S NOT OBVIOUS
151
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,702
FROM MY PALATIAL SURROUNDINGS
HERE,
152
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:45,643
BUT WE'RE BARELY
TURNING A PROFIT.
153
00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:48,072
WE'RE NOT MAKING MONEY ON THIS.
WE'RE PUTTING MONEY INTO IT.
154
00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:51,084
YOU TWO THINK I'M AN IDIOT?
I SEEN "DATELINE."
155
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,752
I KNOW ABOUT
YOUR OFFSHORE ACCOUNTS.
156
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:56,790
HOW'D SHE FIND OUT
ABOUT THE OFFSHORE ACCOUNTS?
157
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,758
WE DON'T EVEN HAVE
ONSHORE ACCOUNTS.
158
00:05:58,825 --> 00:06:00,691
LOOK,
SHE'S OBVIOUSLY GOT US.
159
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,821
I SAY WE MOVE ON TO
THE HUMAN HAND BACK SCRATCHER.
160
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:06,958
NOW, TURN AROUND,
AND I'M GONNA SCRATCH YOUR BACK
161
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,934
WITH MY HAND
AND A PIECE OF WOOD.
162
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,112
YOU TELL ME
WHICH FEELS BETTER.
163
00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:12,765
I'LL HOLD MY HAND
SO IT SEEMS DEAD.
164
00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:14,119
IT'LL BE LIKE
THE PEPSI CHALLENGE
165
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,706
BUT WITH DEAD HANDS.
166
00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:17,368
COME ON!
167
00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:19,538
OKAY, I THOUGHT
THAT WHEN WE GET HOME,
168
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,946
WE CAN ALL SNUGGLE UP AND WATCH
THE COPY OF "FREE WILLY"
169
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:24,507
THAT WE "FORGOT"
TO RETURN TO THE VIDEO STORE
170
00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:25,695
BEFORE
IT WENT OUT OF BUSINESS.
171
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,119
OOH, AND I DUG UP
172
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,031
ALL THE ARTS AND CRAFTS STUFF
FROM THE BASEMENT.
173
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,820
WE ARE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN
TOGETHER THIS WEEK, I PROMISE.
174
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,417
- HM.
- THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE.
175
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:36,520
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE.
176
00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:38,565
♪♪ NA, NA,
NA, NA, NA, NA ♪♪
177
00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,396
♪♪ BATMAN ♪♪
178
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,800
HEY.
THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY MOUTH.
179
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:44,667
YEAH, HONEY,
THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.
180
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:45,738
JUST LEAVE IT.
181
00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,034
IT'S GAUZE.
182
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:49,702
WHY IS THERE GAUZE
IN MY MOUTH?
183
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:53,042
WHY WOULD JULIA ROBERTS
DO THAT TO ME?
184
00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,452
SUE.
SUE, SWEETIE, PUT THAT BACK IN.
185
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,614
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
186
00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:06,922
I WANT TO GET THEM ON TAPE
AGREEING TO MY NEW TERMS.
187
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:09,462
AXL, SUE, REPEAT AFTER ME.
188
00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:14,524
WE AGREE THAT BRICK HAS
TOTAL CONTROL OVER THE HOUSE,
189
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,900
AND WE ARE MERELY VISITORS.
190
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:19,872
VISITORS,
VISITORS, VISITORS.
191
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,910
ISN'T IT WEIRD HOW IF YOU REPEAT
A WORD OVER AND OVER AGAIN,
192
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:26,504
IT LOSES ITS MEANING?
193
00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:28,548
PLAID, PLAID, PLAID.
194
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,642
SHH!
EVERYBODY, THIS IS IMPORTANT.
195
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:32,879
DID I SAY ANYTHING?
196
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,751
COME ON, GUYS.
WE AGREE...
197
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:36,722
BRICK, NOW JUST STOP IT.
PUT IT AWAY.
198
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,134
IT'S NOT NICE
TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEM
199
00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:39,649
WHEN THEY'RE ALL DRUGGED UP.
200
00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:42,525
OOH, WAIT. ASK AXL
IF HE'S DATING ANYONE FIRST.
201
00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:44,757
OH, AND FIND OUT IF HE'S THE ONE
THAT TOOK MY TWEEZERS.
202
00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:46,459
YOU'RE NICE.
203
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:47,694
I AM?
204
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:49,167
MM-HMM.
YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON
205
00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:51,636
'CAUSE I SAY MEAN THINGS
ALL THE TIME AND YOU JUST SMILE.
206
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,469
YOU'RE NICE.
207
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:55,202
SO NICE
208
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,706
'CAUSE YOU DO THINGS FOR PEOPLE,
AND I DON'T.
209
00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:00,212
SOMETIMES I NEED A FORK,
AND YOU GET IT FOR ME.
210
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,280
AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE GONNA
SUCCEED IN LIFE...
211
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,814
'CAUSE
YOU GET PEOPLE FORKS.
212
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:05,613
WHEN YOU SAY YOU NEED A FORK,
I JUST SAY,
213
00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:07,483
"WHY? YOU CAN EAT
OUT OF YOUR DOG BOWL."
214
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:08,783
WHO DOES THAT?
215
00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:10,756
I MEAN, I'M A JERK.
216
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,759
YOU'RE NICE,
AND I LOVE YOU.
217
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,522
REALLY?
218
00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:17,496
TRUE DAT, SISTA.
219
00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:18,827
I REALLY DO.
220
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:21,129
OH, MY GOD.
221
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:24,638
YOU HAVE GAUZE IN YOUR MOUTH,
TOO.
222
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:27,640
THEY'RE DOING IT
TO EVERYBODY.
223
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,845
HEY, GUYS.
224
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:37,543
WHO'S UP FOR MOM'S FAMOUS
RASPBERRY JELL-O?
225
00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:39,142
SEE? BRICK'S LIME,
YOU'RE RASPBERRY.
226
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:40,219
I REMEMBER.
227
00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:42,255
KNOCK, KNOCK.
228
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,888
OH, HEY, BRAD.
229
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,735
I'M NOT SURE THE KIDS
ARE UP FOR VISITORS RIGHT NOW.
230
00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:47,751
OH, THIS IS NOT A SOCIAL VISIT,
MRS. HECK.
231
00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:50,039
MY LATEST AMERICORPS GIG HAS ME
WORKING AT A NURSING HOME,
232
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,259
SO MY CARETAKING SKILLS
ARE ON POINT.
233
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,023
I BROUGHT JELL-O
IN DINOSAUR SHAPES.
234
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,611
ALTHOUGH, WHEN I GO TO
THE OLD PEOPLE'S HOME
235
00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:57,179
I CUT THEM
IN THE SHAPE OF GRANDCHILDREN.
236
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,637
- BUT I ALRE...
- OH, TCH, TCH, TCH!
237
00:08:58,705 --> 00:08:59,866
DON'T WORRY, MRS. HECK.
238
00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:01,908
THINK OF THIS
LIKE "DOWNTON ABBEY"
239
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,185
AND I'M ONE OF
THE BASEMENT PEOPLE.
240
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,871
YOU WON'T HAVE TO DO
A THING.
241
00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:06,742
AND I DIDN'T.
242
00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:09,112
- OH.
- OH.
243
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,878
HERE'S YOUR SOUP.
244
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:12,094
NOW, LET ME JUST
FLUFF YOUR PILLOW
245
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,609
SO YOU CAN SIT UP AND EAT.
246
00:09:13,686 --> 00:09:15,086
GOT IT MRS. HECK.
247
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:17,920
NOW, THE SECRET IS TO
FLUFF FROM THE BOTTOM UP.
248
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,118
SEE HOW I'M DOING IT HERE?
249
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:20,888
MM-HMM.
250
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,258
WHAT'S THAT?
251
00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:24,160
OH, IT'S MY NANA'S FAMOUS SOUP
FROM ITALY.
252
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,927
OH, I ALREADY GAVE THEM
MY FAMOUS SOUP FROM A CAN.
253
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,231
I COULD MAKE IT FROM SCRATCH,
BUT THEY WON'T HAVE IT.
254
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:30,964
THEY LIKE
THE TINNY TASTE.
255
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,548
REMINDS THEM OF WHEN THEY WERE
LITTLE... MEMORIES, YOU KNOW.
256
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,870
OH.
257
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,551
OH, MY GOD,
THIS IS WHAT SOUP TASTES LIKE?
258
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,237
I HAD NO IDEA.
259
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,903
♪♪♪♪
260
00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:40,139
HEY, GUYS.
261
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:41,323
LOOK WHAT I FOUND
IN THE BASEMENT.
262
00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:43,009
WHO'S UP
FOR A LITTLE SAND ART?
263
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,018
SHH!
BRAD'S DOING IMPROV GAMES.
264
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,576
IT'S INCREDIBLE.
265
00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:47,963
YOU JUST GIVE HIM AN OCCUPATION
AND LOCATION,
266
00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:49,080
AND THEN HE DOES IT.
267
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:50,680
IT'S BETTER
THAN WATCHING TV.
268
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:54,159
WATCH. OKAY, BRAD,
NOW YOU'RE A PIZZA MAKER.
269
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:55,320
IN OUTER SPACE.
270
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:56,619
GOT IT.
271
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,863
OH, WHEN WILL
THIS PIE COME-A DOWN?
272
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,233
WHY'D I OPEN A PIZZA PARLOR
ON-A MARS-A?
273
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,898
THIS PLACE HAS-A NO ATMOSPHERE.
274
00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:07,716
UH, BRAD, CAN I SEE YOU
IN THE KITCHEN FOR A MINUTE?
275
00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:09,106
OH,
BUT-A MRS. HECK-A...
276
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:10,609
NOW.
277
00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:11,940
- OH.
- WHAT?
278
00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:14,310
- BOO.
- BOO.
279
00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:15,939
HERE'S THE THING, BRAD.
280
00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:19,349
THE WHOLE MARY POPPINS THING
YOU HAVE GOING IS GREAT,
281
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,144
BUT I CAN TELL
THE KIDS ARE TIRED.
282
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:22,746
I KNOW SUE WANTS TO SLEEP,
283
00:10:22,822 --> 00:10:23,933
AND SHE DOESN'T WANT TO
HURT YOUR FEELINGS.
284
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,653
OH.
WELL, I'LL GO ASK HER.
285
00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:26,954
NO!
DON'T ASK HER.
286
00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:28,358
WE DON'T WANT HER TO TALK.
287
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,062
SEE,
I'M A DENTAL EXPERT,
288
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,224
AND THEY DO SAY
48 HOURS ON THE COUCH.
289
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,699
OH, AND NO FRIENDS AROUND.
THAT'S KIND OF A BIGGIE.
290
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:35,894
IT WAS A TEST QUESTION.
291
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:36,979
I REMEMBER
'CAUSE I GOT IT RIGHT.
292
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:38,665
OH. ALL RIGHT.
293
00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:40,036
I GUESS I COULD GO.
294
00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:41,750
RIGHT AFTER WE PLAY
A QUICK GAME OF OLD MAID.
295
00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:42,935
THE CARDS
ARE POP STAR-THEMED,
296
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:45,103
SO BRITNEY SPEARS
IS THE OLD MAID.
297
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:46,237
TRIPPY, RIGHT?
298
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,974
- GET OUT.
- WHAT?
299
00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:50,209
I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A LOCATION...
NOT HERE.
300
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:53,253
AND YOUR OCCUPATION IS
MAN LEAVING.
301
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,618
OH, OKAY.
302
00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:56,781
I'LL KEEP THE SOUP.
303
00:11:04,797 --> 00:11:06,925
WELL, THAT'S JUST GREAT.
BRAD WORE THEM OUT
304
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:09,295
SO THEY FELL ASLEEP
HALFWAY THROUGH "FREE WILLY."
305
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:11,080
I PINCHED THEM A COUPLE TIMES
TO TRY TO WAKE THEM UP,
306
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:12,663
BUT THEY WERE OUT.
307
00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:14,264
BOY,
YOU TRY TO BE A GOOD MOM.
308
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:17,003
SO, I TALKED TO YOUR THIRD
COUSIN JEAN, THE PARALEGAL.
309
00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:18,316
OH, YEAH?
WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT?
310
00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:19,903
IT'S NOT GOOD, FRANKIE.
311
00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:21,948
IF MARLENE CAME UP WITH THE IDEA
AND TOLD RUSTY,
312
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,075
IT'S SOMETHING CALLED
IMPLIED CONTRACT.
313
00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:25,345
SHE COULD SUE US.
314
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:26,943
YEAH, BUT WOULD SHE REALLY?
315
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,750
IT'S MARLENE.
SHE'S CRAZY.
316
00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:30,366
SHE'LL PROBABLY FORGET
ALL ABOUT IT TOMORROW.
317
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:31,949
YEAH,
BUT WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T?
318
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,823
I SUNK EVERY PENNY WE HAD
INTO THIS BUSINESS.
319
00:11:33,893 --> 00:11:35,088
REMEMBER
THAT JAR OF PENNIES
320
00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:36,338
THAT USED TO BE SITTING
RIGHT HERE?
321
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:37,193
YOU KNOW
WHY IT'S NOT HERE NOW?
322
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:38,822
IT'S IN THE BUSINESS.
323
00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:40,342
SO, IF WE EVER START SEEING
SOME REAL PROFITS,
324
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,801
SHE COULD COME BACK AT ANY TIME
AND TRY TO CLAIM IT.
325
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,201
IN A MONTH, A YEAR,
WHENEVER.
326
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,364
BUT THAT IS SO UNFAIR.
327
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:48,431
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT MADE
A WORKING PROTOTYPE.
328
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,836
YOU MADE THE SALES CALLS.
YOU FOUND A DISTRIBUTOR.
329
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,208
YOU MADE A TWITTER.
330
00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:53,906
THIS HAS BEEN A SECOND JOB
FOR YOU.
331
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,291
AND NOW SHE CAN JUST
COME AND TAKE IT?
332
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:56,977
NO,
I SAY WE FIGHT THIS, MIKE.
333
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,250
WE FIGHT THIS
THE WAY WE FOUGHT
334
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,844
THAT WHOLE HEALTHY SNACK THING
IN PRESCHOOL.
335
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,321
♪♪♪♪
336
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,450
THE NEXT DAY, SUE AND AXL
WERE FEELING BETTER,
337
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,854
BUT THAT JUST GAVE THEM
MORE ENERGY TO ARGUE.
338
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:10,396
GIVE IT.
339
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,174
ACTUALLY, I BELIEVE
THE PERSON WHO'S GOING TO PICK
340
00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:13,996
WHAT TO WATCH IS ME.
341
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,696
AND WE ARE GOING TO WATCH "HOW
THE STATES GOT THEIR SHAPES."
342
00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:18,747
I WANT TO FIND OUT WHY TENNESSEE
IS A PARALLELOGRAM.
343
00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:20,137
- NO WAY.
- UGH!
344
00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:22,266
OH, I THINK WE ARE.
I HAVE A VERBAL AGREEMENT.
345
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:24,072
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
346
00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:26,374
I RECORDED YOU AND SUE ON
THE WAY HOME FROM THE DENTIST.
347
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,244
YOU AGREED
TO ALL MY TERMS.
348
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:30,476
I'M IN CHARGE NOW.
LISTEN.
349
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,742
VISITORS, VISITORS, VISIT...
350
00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:33,878
NO, THAT'S NOT IT.
351
00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:35,387
AND YOU JUST SMILE.
352
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:36,718
YOU'RE NICE.
353
00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:37,789
SO NICE.
354
00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:38,985
NO,
I THINK IT'S AFTER THIS.
355
00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:40,390
NO, NO, NO,
WAIT, GO BACK.
356
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:42,019
WHAT WAS WHAT?
- WHAT?
357
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,825
THAT THING AXL SAID.
358
00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:45,808
OH, THAT'S WHEN HE WAS TELLING
YOU HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU.
359
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:46,891
YOU DON'T REMEMBER?
360
00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:48,730
- NO.
- THAT NEVER HAPPENED.
361
00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:50,167
IT DIDN'T EVEN
SOUND LIKE ME.
362
00:12:50,236 --> 00:12:52,398
'CAUSE YOU DO THINGS
FOR PEOPLE AND I DON'T.
363
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:55,169
SOMETIMES I NEED A FORK,
AND YOU GET IT FOR ME.
364
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,301
YOU TAPED ME WITHOUT TELLING...
ILLEGAL.
365
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:58,845
ENTRAPMENT... TURN IT OFF.
366
00:12:58,911 --> 00:13:01,039
- NO!
- YOU'RE NICE, AND I LOVE YOU.
367
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,275
AH!
TURN IT OFF, TURN IT OFF!
368
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:03,441
OH, MY GOD.
369
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:05,007
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU SAID THAT.
370
00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:07,849
THAT IS THE NICEST THING
I'VE EVER HEARD.
371
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,388
I THINK I'M GONNA CRY.
372
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:12,152
NO, SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY,
I THINK I'M GONNA CRY.
373
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:14,888
NO, YOU'RE NOT 'CAUSE THAT VIDEO
IS TOTALLY BOGUS.
374
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,054
NO, IT'S NOT.
375
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,324
YOU MEANT IT.
376
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:18,922
WHEN YOUR DEFENSES
WERE DOWN,
377
00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:21,467
YOU WEREN'T AFRAID TO TELL ME
THAT YOU LOVED ME.
378
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:24,060
AXL, THAT IS SO SWEET!
379
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,264
THAT IS SO GONE!
380
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:26,338
DELETED.
- NO!
381
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:27,305
MY VERBAL AGREEMENT!
382
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:29,171
AXL, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
383
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,177
'CAUSE YOU WERE GONNA
MAKE IT YOUR RING TONE
384
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:32,337
OR POST IT TO INSTAGRAM
385
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:33,812
OR SOMETHING EMBARRASSING
LIKE THAT.
386
00:13:33,846 --> 00:13:35,075
I WOULD NOT!
387
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,310
MAYBE I WANTED IT
BECAUSE IT WAS NICE,
388
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:40,046
AND MAYBE I WANTED IT
JUST FOR ME.
389
00:13:40,119 --> 00:13:44,454
BUT NO, YOU HAD TO RUIN IT
BECAUSE YOU RUIN EVERYTHING.
390
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:46,152
GAH!
391
00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:49,286
♪♪♪♪
392
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:54,096
OKAY, PARALEGAL SAYS WE GOT TO
GET HER TO SIGN A WAIVER
393
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,500
AND RELEASE FORM GIVING UP
ALL CLAIM TO THE COMPANY.
394
00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:58,435
SO, WE GOT TO
JUST REASON WITH HER.
395
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,496
WITH HER,
THE TRICK IS TO BE CHARMING.
396
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,508
IT'S LIKE THAT PRINCE...
WHAT'S HIS NAME?
397
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,237
HE'S REALLY CHARMING.
398
00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:05,387
- PRINCE CHARMING.
- PRINCE...
399
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:07,107
PHILLIP...
PRINCE PHILLIP.
400
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,240
OKAY, THAT'S FINE.
YOU CHARM HER, OKAY?
401
00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:11,511
THE IMPORTANT THING
IS THAT THIS ENDS TODAY
402
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:13,485
'CAUSE WE DON'T WANT HER
COMING BACK, NOT EVER.
403
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:14,919
NOT EVER... WAIT A MINUTE.
404
00:14:14,987 --> 00:14:16,512
YOU WANT TO KILL HER?
405
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:18,114
NO, RUSTY.
406
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,535
WHAT I'M SAYING IS
YOU USED TO BE MARRIED TO HER,
407
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:22,859
SO TRY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF
WHATEVER CREEPY SPARK
408
00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:24,139
ATTRACTED YOU
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
409
00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:26,132
OH, I SEE WHERE YOU'RE GOING
WITH THIS.
410
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,100
YOU WANT ME TO
MARRY HER AGAIN,
411
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:30,864
TAKE HER TO THE GRAND CANYON
FOR OUR HONEYMOON.
412
00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:32,599
NO.
POSE FOR A QUICK PHOTO
ON THE EDGE,
413
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,535
AND THEN OOPS...
JUST ANOTHER SELFIE GONE BAD.
414
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,270
I LIKE IT.
415
00:14:37,343 --> 00:14:40,370
PLUS, I'VE NEVER BEEN TO
THE GRAND CANYON, SO WIN-WIN.
416
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:42,381
NO, RUSTY.
WE'RE NOT GONNA MURDER HER.
417
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:45,384
OH, RIGHT, YES.
WE ALREADY ALL HEARD YOU.
418
00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:48,080
NOT MURDERING HER.
419
00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:49,417
LOOK, HEY.
420
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,166
I'LL DO ALL THE TALKING
ABOUT THE BUSINESS.
421
00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:52,556
YOU JUST TAKE CARE OF
422
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,617
DOING WHATEVER IT IS
THAT SHE LIKES YOU TO DO.
423
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,157
GOT IT?
424
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:59,028
GOT IT.
UH-OH, I THINK SHE LAWYERED UP.
425
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,029
I'M PRETTY SURE
THAT'S NOT HER LAWYER.
426
00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:03,569
THAT'S HER LAWYER.
427
00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:07,264
HEY.
428
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:10,139
I BROUGHT BACKUP IN CASE
YOU DECIDED TO MURDER ME.
429
00:15:12,044 --> 00:15:13,307
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
430
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:16,144
THIS IS MY ASSOCIATE,
DAPHNE.
431
00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:19,049
I'M NAMED AFTER THE HOT ONE
IN "SCOOBY DOO."
432
00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:20,586
OKAY.
433
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:23,020
UM, I DIDN'T THINK
IT WAS GONNA BE A SOCIAL THING.
434
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,566
I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA
TALK BUSINESS.
435
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,058
SMART THINKING.
436
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:28,890
IF WE DO IT HERE,
WE CAN WRITE OFF OUR DRINKS.
437
00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:30,190
I SAW THAT
ON "THE GOOD WIFE."
438
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,562
YOU KNOW WHO WAS
THE GOOD WIFE... YOU.
439
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,396
REMEMBER THAT DIVORCE
WE HAD?
440
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,436
ALL MY FAULT.
441
00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:38,994
I GUESS
WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS,
442
00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:40,937
YOU GOT GREAT BOOBS.
443
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:46,306
MMM!
444
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:51,010
WELL,
GUESS THAT JUST LEAVES US.
445
00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:01,154
♪♪♪♪
446
00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:02,092
HEY!
447
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:03,493
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
448
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:05,340
I THINK IN THE PAST,
I WOULD HAVE LET EVERYTHING GO
449
00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:07,560
BECAUSE I AM
A VERY POSITIVE PERSON,
450
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,693
BUT THIS IS
THE YEAR OF SUE 2.0.
451
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,460
SO I'M JUST GONNA SAY IT.
452
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:13,506
I AM REALLY UPSET
YOU DELETED THAT VIDEO.
453
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:14,973
SERIOUSLY?
454
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:16,618
THAT WAS LIKE EIGHT HOURS AGO.
GET OVER IT.
455
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,304
I JUST DON'T GET IT,
AXL.
456
00:16:18,377 --> 00:16:20,972
WHAT IS SO EMBARRASSING ABOUT
SAYING YOU LOVE YOUR SISTER?
457
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:22,310
WOULD YOU JUST
LEAVE ME ALONE?
458
00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:23,381
I'M TRYING TO TAKE A NAP.
459
00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:25,247
NO,
YOU ARE 22 YEARS OLD, AXL.
460
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,562
ARE YOU EVER GONNA
GROW OUT OF THIS?
461
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:27,952
WHAT?
462
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,498
I MEAN, ARE YOU AFRAID
OF BEING VULNERABLE?
463
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:31,354
OH! MAKE IT STOP.
464
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:34,394
OOH, THAT'S IT.
ISN'T IT, AXL?
465
00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:36,438
YOU HIDE BEHIND YOUR LITTLE
QUIPS AND YOUR LITTLE DIGS,
466
00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:39,057
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?
I THINK YOU'RE NICE.
467
00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:40,656
- PFFFT!
- I THINK YOU'RE SWEET...
468
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:41,733
- NO.
- AND LOVING
469
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,367
AND A CARING PERSON
470
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,667
WHO HAS FEELINGS OF AFFECTION
FOR HIS FAMILY.
471
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,604
AND YOU JUST DON'T WANT
ANYONE ELSE TO KNOW IT.
472
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,198
I'M NOT LISTENING
TO THIS ANYMORE.
473
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:51,635
NO.
474
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,339
YOU NEED TO FACE YOURSELF,
AXL.
475
00:16:53,412 --> 00:16:55,074
I AM YOUR MIRROR.
476
00:16:55,147 --> 00:16:56,376
LOOK AT ME AND FACE ME.
477
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,008
IF YOU WERE MY MIRROR,
I'D KILL MYSELF.
478
00:16:58,084 --> 00:16:59,279
AAAH! SEE?
479
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,615
WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?
480
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,416
I KNOW YOU LOVE ME.
481
00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:03,488
YOU LOVE BRICK.
482
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,286
YOU LOVE OUR FAMILY.
483
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,336
WHY DO YOU THINK YOU COME HOME
FROM COLLEGE ALL THE TIME?
484
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,226
DO YOU REALLY NEED TO DO
THAT MUCH LAUNDRY?
485
00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:12,163
NO, YOU ARE COMING HOME
BECAUSE YOU MISS US,
486
00:17:12,231 --> 00:17:13,426
AND YOU WANT TO BE HERE.
487
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:15,127
SAY IT, AXL.
SAY YOU LOVE ME.
488
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,170
NO. WOULD YOU JUST STOP IT?
LET ME GO.
489
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:19,228
THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE TO EVEN GO.
JUST SAY IT!
490
00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:24,039
♪♪♪♪
491
00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:25,271
WHAT?
492
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:34,384
WELL, APPARENTLY, THIS IS WHAT
AXL LEFT ME TO DRY OFF WITH.
493
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:37,123
I DON'T KNOW WHY
I EVER THOUGHT
494
00:17:37,189 --> 00:17:38,589
I'D HAVE ANY POWER
IN THIS HOUSE.
495
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,024
SO DISAPPOINTING.
496
00:17:40,092 --> 00:17:41,253
HEY, YOU'RE A HECK.
497
00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:42,659
DISAPPOINTMENT
IS YOUR BIRTHRIGHT.
498
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,253
HM.
HERE,
DIP SOME OF THESE FLOWERS.
499
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:45,730
THEY'RE FUN.
500
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:47,576
THEY'RE FROM BEFORE
THE GOVERNMENT BANNED CHEMICALS.
501
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:48,795
SURE, WHY NOT?
502
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,730
YOU KNOW, I GET IT, BRICK.
503
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:53,272
I WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD TO
THE KIDS' DENTAL SURGERY.
504
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:55,331
IT WAS GONNA BE A FUN TIME
FOR ME.
505
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:58,139
REMEMBER WHEN
AXL BROKE HIS COLLARBONE?
506
00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:59,473
THAT WAS SUCH A GOOD WEEK.
507
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:03,281
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT THIS WAS
ELVIS, BUT IT'S AN EAGLE.
508
00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:05,716
HM.
509
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:07,344
HELLO.
510
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,685
OH, HEY.
HOW'S IT GOING WITH MARLENE?
511
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,223
NOT GOOD.
512
00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:12,451
I THINK
I'M ON A DOUBLE DATE.
513
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:14,221
WHAT?
514
00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:16,271
YEAH, MARLENE BROUGHT
SOME CRAZY BOOZEHOUND WITH HER,
515
00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:18,059
AND SHE'S NUTS.
SHE'S ALL OVER ME.
516
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:19,723
WELL, YOU BE NICE TO HER.
517
00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:21,199
DANCE WITH HER,
518
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:22,811
ASK HER QUESTIONS ABOUT HERSELF,
BE CHARMING.
519
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,275
KISS HER ON THE MOUTH
IF YOU HAVE TO.
520
00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:25,498
JUST GET THAT THING
SIGNED.
521
00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:26,834
OH,
AND GRAB SOME BAR NAPKINS.
522
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,369
WE'RE OUT OF TOILET PAPER.
523
00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:32,577
MIKE, LISTEN.
524
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,511
DON'T BE MAD,
BUT I DON'T THINK I WANT TO
525
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,606
DO YOUR "KILLING HER" PLAN
ANYMORE.
526
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:38,241
RUSTY...
527
00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:40,513
HEY, YOU MAY NOT KNOW THIS
BECAUSE OF YOUR WIFE,
528
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:42,748
BUT WOMEN
CAN BE VERY SEDUCTIVE.
529
00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,586
KISSING MARLENE
MADE ME REALIZE
530
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:47,252
I STILL HAVE
THAT OLD SPARK FOR HER.
531
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:49,522
WE WERE IN THE BATHROOM STALL
AND SHE WAS PULLING...
532
00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:50,790
I DO NOT NEED TO KNOW!
533
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:52,456
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS.
534
00:18:52,531 --> 00:18:55,467
I'M DONE MESSING AROUND.
I'M GONNA LAY IT ON THE LINE.
535
00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:57,093
MARLENE, LET'S TALK.
536
00:18:57,169 --> 00:18:59,661
THERE'S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT.
IT'S MY COMPANY.
537
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:01,139
YEAH, LOOK.
538
00:19:01,207 --> 00:19:02,784
WE PUT A LOT OF WORK,
NOT TO MENTION MONEY
539
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,106
INTO STARTING THAT BUSINESS.
540
00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:05,416
AND COULD YOU NOT
DO THAT MAYBE?
541
00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:06,742
'CAUSE I WANT TO
TALK TO MARLENE.
542
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,280
IF YOU DON'T GET MORE FUN,
543
00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:09,691
I'M NOT GONNA TAKE YOU HOME
TO MEET MY SON.
544
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:11,411
OKAY.
545
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,545
LOOK, YOU CAN SWEET-TALK ME
ALL YOU WANT, BUT IT WAS MY IDEA
546
00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:16,748
FOR PEOPLE TO WEAR A DIAPER
TO A SPORTING EVENT.
547
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:20,281
AND IF YOU'VE GOT SOME PROBLEM
WITH WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE,
548
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:21,691
I MIGHT HAVE TO
LET YOU GO.
549
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,821
YOU CAN'T FIRE ME
'CAUSE THAT'S...
550
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,524
WAIT, WHAT WAS YOUR IDEA?
551
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,624
I MISSED THREE ROUNDS
OF CAGE FIGHTING
552
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,362
'CAUSE I WAS STUCK
IN THE BATHROOM.
553
00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:30,903
SO I TOLD RUSTY
554
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,537
NEXT TIME WE SHOULD WEAR DIAPERS
TO THE MATCH.
555
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,165
THAT'S IT?
THAT'S ALL YOU SAID?
556
00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:37,506
WELL, WHO THOUGHT ABOUT
557
00:19:37,576 --> 00:19:40,171
THE PUTTING SPORTS TEAMS' LOGOS
ON BABIES' DIAPERS?
558
00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:42,408
OH, THAT WAS ALL ME.
THAT WAS ME.
559
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:45,282
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
560
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:46,284
I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT
WORRYING ABOUT THIS,
561
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,684
AND ALL MARLENE SAID WAS
562
00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:50,416
SHE WANTED TO WEAR A DIAPER
TO A STUPID CAGE FIGHT?
563
00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:52,185
IF IT WASN'T FOR ME,
564
00:19:52,258 --> 00:19:54,338
RUSTY WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN BEEN
THINKING ABOUT DIAPERS.
565
00:19:54,393 --> 00:19:56,453
MAYBE, BUT THAT'S
TWO VERY DIFFERENT THINGS.
566
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,157
AND IF YOU LIKE,
I CAN GET
567
00:19:58,230 --> 00:19:59,775
MY WIFE'S THIRD COUSIN,
WHO'S A PARALEGAL, ON THE PHONE,
568
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:01,734
AND SHE'D BE VERY HAPPY
TO EXPLAIN THAT TO YOU.
569
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,201
TELL YOU WHAT, MARLENE.
570
00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:04,846
I'M GONNA BE VERY GENEROUS
WITH YOU HERE.
571
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:09,205
THIS IS $37 AND CHANGE
572
00:20:09,275 --> 00:20:11,437
FOR YOU TO WALK AWAY
FOR GOOD.
573
00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:14,537
AND THAT IS MORE PROFIT THAN
YOU'D EVER SEE FROM LI'L RIVALS.
574
00:20:14,613 --> 00:20:18,675
♪♪♪♪
575
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:21,220
BEST 37 BUCKS I EVER SPENT.
576
00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:23,265
CALLED YOUR COUSIN JEAN,
SHE SAID EVERYTHING'S GOOD.
577
00:20:23,289 --> 00:20:25,485
SHE SAID
TO SAY HI TO LORRAINE?
578
00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:31,357
WELL, I CAN SEE NO ONE AGREED TO
MY LAWN-CHAIR DEMANDS EITHER.
579
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:32,557
FINE.
580
00:20:37,636 --> 00:20:38,831
POTATO ME.
581
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:41,499
THANK YOU.
- MM-HMM.
582
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,772
AND WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT MARLENE ANYMORE.
583
00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:46,574
I DON'T THINK SO.
584
00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:48,978
I DON'T THINK THERE WILL BE
ANY SIGN OF HER IN THE FUTURE.
585
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,376
OKAY,
I GOT THE BEST IDEA.
586
00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:54,511
MASHED POTATOES IN BETWEEN
TWO CIRCLES OF JELL-O.
587
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:57,455
MM?
MASHED PO-JELL-O SANDWICH.
588
00:20:57,523 --> 00:20:59,253
I'M IN.
589
00:20:59,325 --> 00:21:01,317
SUE, ARE YOU CRYING?
WHY ARE YOU CRYING?
590
00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:03,328
AXL GAVE ME A FORK.
591
00:21:03,395 --> 00:21:06,331
I THOUGHT SHE WAS OFF
THE PAINKILLERS.
592
00:21:06,398 --> 00:21:08,993
SO, SPRING BREAK DIDN'T TURN
OUT HOW I THOUGHT IT WOULD.
593
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,601
I DIDN'T GET TO SPEND TIME
WITH AXL AND SUE,
594
00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:14,003
BUT I DID GET TO
SPEND TIME WITH BRICK.
595
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,242
SOMETIMES YOU THINK
YOU'RE GETTING AN ELVIS,
596
00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:17,936
BUT YOU END UP WITH AN EAGLE.
597
00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:20,411
AND EAGLES ARE PRETTY GREAT,
TOO.
598
00:21:20,479 --> 00:21:21,811
THIS HUGE... WHOA!
599
00:21:23,549 --> 00:21:25,017
OW.
600
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,877
THAT'S OKAY, HONEY.
MOMMY'S HERE.
601
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:29,683
CAPTIONS BY VITAC...
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