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1
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IT'S ALIVE!
2
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:41,207
[ HOWLS ]
3
00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:42,876
SHUT UP, DOWN THERE.
4
00:00:42,942 --> 00:00:45,378
I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!
5
00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:48,014
OOH, LA-LA.
6
00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:51,184
LOOK AT ME,
I'M A LADY.
7
00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:54,687
[ LAUGHING ]
8
00:00:54,754 --> 00:00:56,856
[ SIGH ]
9
00:00:56,923 --> 00:01:00,393
MY CLOTHES ARE SOFT,
BUT THEY'RE NOT HUGGABLY SOFT.
10
00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:02,195
LEAVE IT TO ME.
AAH!
11
00:01:02,262 --> 00:01:04,464
BEING HUGGABLY SOFT
IS MY BUSINESS
12
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:06,766
AND BUSINESS IS GOOD.
13
00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:08,301
THEY ARE SOFT.
14
00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:10,437
AND SO ARE YOU, CUDDLES.
15
00:01:10,503 --> 00:01:14,007
VERY, VERY SOFT.
16
00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:16,643
UH, UM,
17
00:01:16,709 --> 00:01:18,411
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
18
00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:21,314
I NEED
YOUR SOFTNESS.
19
00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:24,918
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
20
00:01:24,984 --> 00:01:26,986
THIS IS A NO-NO.
21
00:01:27,053 --> 00:01:28,655
A BIG NO-NO.
22
00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:30,623
DON'T FIGHT IT.
23
00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:35,428
[ MOANING ]
24
00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:39,532
YOU MIGHT WANNA
CLEAN YOURSELF UP.
25
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,440
GOOD AS NEW!
26
00:01:47,507 --> 00:01:49,108
YEAH,
GOOD AS NEW.
27
00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:52,445
MY, YOU'RE JUST
SO HUGGABLY SOFT.
28
00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:55,048
NO, NO, NOT REALLY
THAT SOFT.
29
00:01:55,114 --> 00:01:56,716
STOP!
30
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,585
THIS ISN'T RIGHT!
31
00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:00,420
CUDDLES BRAND FABRIC SOFTENEER,
32
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:04,457
WHEN YOUR CLOTHES HAVE TO BE
HUGGABLE, RAPABLY FRESH.
33
00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:09,728
I DON'T WANT
YOUR SANDWICH.
34
00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:13,833
DID YOU FINISH
THAT MARKETING PROPOSAL?
NOPE.
35
00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:15,768
I TOLD YOU
TO GIVE IT TO ME TODAY.
36
00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:17,737
I COULD HAVE SWORN
YOU SAID THURSDAY.
37
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,339
NO, I SAID WEDNESDAY.
38
00:02:19,405 --> 00:02:21,007
I DON'T THINK SO.
THURSDAY.
39
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:23,543
WEDNESDAY, DOUCHE BAG.
THURSDAY, ASS FACE!
40
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:25,478
WEDNESDAY,
YOU [ EXPLETIVE ] IDIOT!
41
00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:26,779
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
42
00:02:26,846 --> 00:02:29,449
WE'RE HAVING
A FIGHT ABOUT THE DUE DATE
OF THE MARKETING PROPOSAL.
43
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:32,552
WELL, THEN THERE'S
ONLY ONE WAY TOSOLVE IT.
44
00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:35,555
Computer: FIGHT.
45
00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,055
STAPLER.
46
00:02:37,123 --> 00:02:38,091
STAPLER.
47
00:02:38,156 --> 00:02:40,727
POST IT, POST IT!
P-P-P-POST IT!
48
00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:43,196
FINISH HIM!
49
00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:48,567
YOU KNOW THAT PROPOSAL
WAS DUE ON WEDNESDAY, JIM.
50
00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:50,136
THURSDAY, NANCY.
51
00:02:50,203 --> 00:02:52,005
HOT WATER.
52
00:02:52,071 --> 00:02:53,673
SEXUAL HARASSMENT.
53
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,441
LAWSUIT, LAWSUIT.
54
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:58,444
LETTER OPENER.
55
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:00,947
RYU FROM
STREET FIGHTER?
56
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,115
I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WORKED HERE.
57
00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:06,052
I DON'T, BUT THAT PROPOSAL WAS
DEFINITELY DUE ON WEDNESDAY.
58
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,854
FIGHT.
59
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,689
I'LL GET
RIGHT ON IT.
60
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:10,657
MAIL,
MR. GRIFFIN.
61
00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:14,360
EXCELLENT, NEXT YEAR'S FUNDING'S
COME THROUGH.
62
00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:15,662
ONE DOLLAR?
63
00:03:15,728 --> 00:03:17,297
WHAT DO WE DO
WITH ONE DOLLAR?
64
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:19,599
WE'RE GOING BACK TO BASICS,
THAT'S WHAT.
65
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,434
T MINUS FIVE
66
00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:24,304
FOUR, THREE, TWO,
67
00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:26,372
ONE.
68
00:03:26,439 --> 00:03:29,175
♪ MONKEYS IN OUTER SPACE ♪
69
00:03:29,242 --> 00:03:33,212
♪ PROTECTING THE FREEDOM
OF THE HUMAN RACE ♪
70
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:36,182
♪ FOUR FINGERS ON HIS HAND ♪
71
00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:39,485
♪ FREEDOM ACROSS THE LAND ♪
72
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:42,755
♪ PROTECTING THE UNITED STATES ♪
73
00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:46,526
♪ WE OWE OUR FREEDOM
TO THESE PRIMATES ♪
74
00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:49,728
♪ MANY DIED
ALONG THE WAY ♪
75
00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:51,531
♪ IN FACT, THEY ALL DID ♪
76
00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:53,700
♪ BUT THAT'S OKAY ♪
77
00:03:53,766 --> 00:03:56,502
♪ MONKEYS IN OUTER SPACE ♪
78
00:03:56,569 --> 00:04:00,340
♪ PROTECTING THE FREEDOM
OF THE HUMAN RACE ♪
79
00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:03,409
♪ MONKEYS IN OUTER SPACE ♪
80
00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:06,846
♪ THEY'RE EASIER
THAN HUMANS TO REPLACE ♪
81
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:10,049
♪ A HUMAN LIFE
IS A TERRIBLE WASTE ♪
82
00:04:10,116 --> 00:04:13,553
♪ THAT'S WHY WE SHOT
MONKEYS INTO SPACE ♪
83
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,956
♪ WE USED ALL THE MONKEYS
THAT WE COULD FIND ♪
84
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:22,729
♪ 50 DEAD MONKEYS,
HUGE STEP FOR MANKIND ♪
85
00:04:22,795 --> 00:04:26,566
♪ MONKEYS IN OUTER SPACE ♪
86
00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:30,203
♪ PROTECTING THE FREEDOM
OF THE HUMAN RACE ♪
87
00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:33,673
♪ MONKEYS IN OUTER -- ♪
88
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:43,483
YEAH, DO THE DO!
89
00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:45,784
MR. PRESIDENT, YOUR VITALS
ALL CHECK OUT FINE.
90
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,253
THERE IS JUST ONE THING.
91
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,589
YOUR MIDO-CHLORIAN COUNT
IS EXTRAORDINARILY HIGHT.
92
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:51,658
DOES THAT MEAN
THAT I'M ONE OF THEM,
93
00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:55,094
WHAT YOU CALL 'EM, NOW,
JEDIS?
94
00:04:56,996 --> 00:04:58,798
[ LAUGHS ]
95
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:00,767
OH, NOT TONIGHT.
96
00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:01,768
I'M TIRED, HONEY.
97
00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:04,704
YOU'RE NOT TIRED.
YOU WANT TO HAVE
A THREESOME.
98
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:08,875
I'M NOT TIRED.
I WANT TO HAVE A THREESOME.
99
00:05:08,941 --> 00:05:11,544
GET ME CONDI.
100
00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:17,784
OH, SORRY, DUBYA.
101
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:21,721
BIG MAC ATTACK.
WHOO-HOO!
102
00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:24,824
HEY, HEY! WHOA,
WHAT'S THE DILLY?
103
00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:28,828
[ LAUGHS ]
104
00:05:31,597 --> 00:05:34,133
SABRE
BEATS ROCK.
105
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,270
WHAT THE HELL?
106
00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:53,219
WHO DARES DISTURB
MY SLUMBER?
107
00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:56,389
WHO DARES QUESTION
MY DARING...
108
00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:58,524
OF HIS DARE...
109
00:05:58,591 --> 00:05:59,392
JERK.
110
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:02,228
IT IS I!
I WHO FREED THE SLAVES,
111
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,731
I WHO --
BORING.
112
00:06:04,797 --> 00:06:07,166
LET'S FIGHT.
113
00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:21,180
IF YOU STRIKE ME DOWN,
I SHALL BECOME --
114
00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:23,282
WAIT A MINUTE,
LET ME FINISH!
115
00:06:23,349 --> 00:06:25,551
THAT'LL TEACH YOU,
GEORGE WASHINGTON.
116
00:06:25,618 --> 00:06:27,987
JENNA, GET OVER HERE
RIGHT NOW.
117
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,889
I AM YOUR FATHER!
118
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:31,624
THAT'S NOT TRUE!
119
00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:33,659
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
120
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:36,562
MY REAL FATHER WOULD
LET ME GO CLUBBING
121
00:06:36,629 --> 00:06:38,598
AS LATE AS I WANT!
122
00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:40,600
YOU LITTLE --
OW!
123
00:06:40,666 --> 00:06:42,568
OH, NO!
BABY, I'M SORRY.
124
00:06:42,635 --> 00:06:44,103
AAH!
125
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:45,838
YOU SUCK!
126
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:48,541
NO!
127
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,778
WHAT --
WAS IT JUST A DREAM?
128
00:06:51,844 --> 00:06:53,646
MR. PRESIDENT,
WE STILL HAVEN'T FOUND
129
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:55,047
ANY WEAPONS
OF MASS DESTRUCTION.
130
00:06:55,114 --> 00:06:58,317
YOU HAVE FOUND WEAPONS
OF MASS DESTRUCTION.
131
00:06:58,384 --> 00:07:00,319
UH, HI.
132
00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:02,421
WE HAVEN'T.
133
00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:03,756
YOU HAVE.
134
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:06,058
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
135
00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:08,561
BRING ME A TACO.
YES, SIR.
136
00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:11,264
HEH HEH HEH,
TACOS RULE.
137
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:14,167
[ MAN WHISTLING ]
138
00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:18,171
EXCUSE ME,
COULD YOU PLEASE HELP ME?
139
00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:20,673
OH.
140
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:26,879
IS EVERYONE READY FOR MORE
OF THOSE UPROARIOUS BLOOPERS?
141
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:29,248
Audience: YES!
142
00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:31,050
WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?
143
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,653
IT'S TIME TO RAISE THE ROOF
144
00:07:33,719 --> 00:07:37,356
WITH THESE MISHAPS
ON THE LASSIE SET.
145
00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:40,927
TIMMY'S IN THE WELL?
LET'S GO, LASSIE.
146
00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:42,328
AAH, AAH!
GET HIM OFF!
147
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:43,996
GET HIM OFF,
GET HIM OFF!
148
00:07:44,063 --> 00:07:47,433
TIMMY'S IN THE WELL?
LET'S GO, LASSIE.
149
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:50,870
[ SCREAMING ]
150
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:54,807
TIMMY'S IN THE WELL?
LET'S GO, LASSIE!
151
00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:57,210
[ SCREAMING ]
152
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,983
BOY, THAT GUY
REALLY HAD IT ROUGH.
153
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,384
[ CRICKETS ]
154
00:08:05,451 --> 00:08:06,886
SPEAKING OF SPAYING
AND NEUTERING,
155
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:09,789
BOB BARKER WAS ACCUSED
OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT.
156
00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:12,091
HERE'S A PRICE IS RIGHT BLOOPER.
157
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,060
ALL RIGHT,
BIG SPIN.
158
00:08:14,126 --> 00:08:17,864
[ SCREAMING ]
159
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,072
IF YOU THINK THAT'S
THE ONLY TIME THINGS GOT
160
00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:29,742
AWKWARD ON A GAME SHOW,
HERE'S SOME FEUD FOR THOUGHT.
161
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:32,510
MARJORIE.
162
00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:34,679
SUSAN.
163
00:08:34,746 --> 00:08:36,215
MATTHEW.
164
00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:38,851
UH-HUH.
165
00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:42,388
A LATER HOST
OF THE FAMILY FEUD
166
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,590
WOULD HANG HIMSELF.
167
00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:46,792
BRITNEY SPEARS' CHAOTIC
SHOCKED THE WORLD
168
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,861
WITH ITS PRIVATE MOMENTS
AND LOW RATINGS.
169
00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:53,232
HERE'S SOME SCENES THAT WERE
TOO CHAOTIC, EVEN FOR UPN!
170
00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:56,502
WE FAMOUS, BABY,
YEAH.
171
00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:58,004
HA HA HA!
172
00:08:58,070 --> 00:09:00,106
NO, BABY, I'M FAMOUS.
173
00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:03,009
AND YOU'RE ONLY FAMOUS
BECAUSE I'M FAMOUS.
174
00:09:03,075 --> 00:09:07,480
HA HA HA,
YEAH, YEAH.
175
00:09:07,546 --> 00:09:10,616
[ BOTH LAUGHING ]
176
00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:15,955
OH, BABY.
177
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:17,123
STUPID.
178
00:09:17,189 --> 00:09:19,892
YOU WOULDN'T THINK NICHOLAS CAGE
AND MICHAEL JACKSON
179
00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:21,327
HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON,
180
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,763
BUT THEY BOTH POKED THEIR HEADS
INTO GRACELAND,
181
00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:26,365
AND THEY BOTH HAD
THEIR SKULLS ON FIRE.
182
00:09:26,432 --> 00:09:28,501
HERE'S A GHOSTRIDER OUTTAKE.
183
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:30,002
OKAY, NICK. ARE YOU READY?
184
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:33,239
YEAH, LET'S DO IT.
OKAY, HERE WE GO.
185
00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:41,781
DID ANYONE TEACH HIM
TO RIDE A MOTORCYCLE?
186
00:09:41,847 --> 00:09:43,082
ANYONE?
187
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:44,350
WHO DIDN'T MASTURBATE
188
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,452
TO HULK HOGAN'S
BULGING BICEPS IN THE 80s?
189
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:50,356
LET'S SEE WHAT HE'S UP TO NOW
IN HOGAN KNOWS BEST.
190
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,658
LET ME ASK
YOU SOMETHING, BROTHER.
191
00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:54,593
WHO WANTS PEAS?
192
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:58,564
THE HULKSTER SAID,
WHO WANTS PEAS?
193
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:05,705
HULK-A-MANIA'S RUNNING
MILD, BROTHER.
194
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,708
DO YOU LIKE WATCHING
STUPID PEOPLE GET INJURED?
195
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:11,577
SO DID FANS OF MTV's JACKASS.
196
00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:14,680
THE NETWORK BEGGED VIEWERS
NOT TO TRY THIS AT HOME,
197
00:10:14,747 --> 00:10:17,083
BUT OF COURSE, THEY DID.
198
00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:19,485
HERE WE GO!
199
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:21,687
YEAH!
200
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,060
GO!
201
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:30,062
AAH!
202
00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:35,401
[ LAUGHING ]
203
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,535
YEAH!
204
00:10:36,602 --> 00:10:39,138
[ LAUGHING ]
205
00:10:57,089 --> 00:10:59,892
THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY!
HOPE TO SEE YOU NEXT TIME
206
00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:04,296
FOR EVEN MORE
SIDE-SPLITTING BLOOPERS!
207
00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:14,006
CAPTIONING PROVIDED
BY TURNER STUDIOS
208
00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:20,780
♪ [CLUCKING] ♪
12761
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