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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,087 ♪ Hush now child... ♪ 2 00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:48,798 I mean, I'm 30,000 feet in the air, right? 3 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,175 They're saying, Kevin, come on, please. 4 00:00:50,176 --> 00:00:51,593 Kev, you got to put on the parachute. 5 00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:52,969 Everybody's going, please, please, Kev. 6 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:54,679 At this point, they're begging me. 7 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,264 Tell me that the story ends 8 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:57,640 with you wearing the parachute. 9 00:00:57,641 --> 00:01:01,186 Absolutely fucking not, no! No! 10 00:01:01,187 --> 00:01:02,937 No, I wanted to be authentic. Right? 11 00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,481 - It's got to be real. - Yeah. 12 00:01:04,482 --> 00:01:06,733 You know what Tom Cruise calls parachutes? Diapers. 13 00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,485 Is that because they fill up when you're falling? 14 00:01:08,486 --> 00:01:11,279 No. Tom told me, he said, Kevin, they put me in a parachute, 15 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,740 they might as well put a diaper on me and send me to pasture. 16 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:16,201 Look, Kevin... you know, 17 00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:18,077 based on the success of the first one, 18 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:21,623 we see massive franchise potential with The Jefferson's. 19 00:01:21,624 --> 00:01:23,708 And you know, your agent just keeps saying that you might 20 00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:25,543 be waffling on doing a sequel. 21 00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:27,086 And I'm just here to ask, is it about the money? 22 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:30,131 Look, Deb, The Jefferson's is amazing, right? 23 00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:31,549 We did amazing work there. 24 00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:33,760 But I'll be honest, when I walk on that set, 25 00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:35,345 I feel like I'm being babysat. 26 00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:38,264 I mean, they give me goddamn stunt coordinators. 27 00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:42,685 I have... I have stage managers, uh, wires, green screens. 28 00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:45,021 Yes, a... and somehow, you still manage to jump out 29 00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:47,857 of an airplane without a chute. 30 00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:49,734 I wasn't telling the truth when I told you that, 31 00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:51,194 but I forgot to say I was lying. 32 00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:52,987 So let's take a pause, right? 33 00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:54,489 Put a pin in that, so you understand 34 00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,491 that wasn't the truth. I had to make that up. 35 00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:57,700 I was pretending. 36 00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,202 But you know why I got to pretend? 37 00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:01,496 Because I'm not a real action star, Deb. 38 00:02:01,497 --> 00:02:03,873 Kevin, you took a sitcom about a dry cleaner, 39 00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:06,084 and you turned him into motherfucking Jason Bourne. 40 00:02:06,085 --> 00:02:08,920 Okay? You are a real action star. 41 00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:11,047 - No, not yet. - Not yet? 42 00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:14,551 No. But I will be. 43 00:02:14,552 --> 00:02:16,262 When you fund my next project. 44 00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:18,888 Okay. 45 00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:20,265 Deb, now, look, what I'm about to tell you is going 46 00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:21,599 to seem crazy at first, but I promise you, 47 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,685 if you give it a chance, you'll get it. 48 00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:25,979 - Close your eyes. - Okay. 49 00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:28,940 Deb, I want you to picture yourself going up a mountain. 50 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,612 On the ground! Let's go! 51 00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:37,073 Alright, you rich assholes! 52 00:02:39,285 --> 00:02:42,161 Wallets, Rolexes, jewelry! 53 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,705 All your fancy shit! 54 00:02:43,706 --> 00:02:45,331 - What is taking so long? - Put it in the bag! 55 00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:46,708 Let's go! 56 00:02:46,709 --> 00:02:48,209 Just stay calm. Stay calm. 57 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:50,086 Everything shiny! Let's go! 58 00:02:51,297 --> 00:02:52,714 Get it in the bag! Let's go! 59 00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:54,757 They're coming this way. 60 00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,342 I don't have all day here! 61 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,387 Shit, shit! Shit, shit, shit! 62 00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:01,765 Trying to hide, little man? 63 00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:05,978 The fuck did you just call me? 64 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,106 Bet you got a big wallet for such a little man. 65 00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,859 Now, put it in the bag! 66 00:03:14,153 --> 00:03:16,905 You want my wallet? Huh? 67 00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,031 Get back. I got this. 68 00:03:18,032 --> 00:03:19,575 You got what? 69 00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,870 - I want your gun! - Shit! 70 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,872 You believe this fucking clown? 71 00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:29,543 Give me your gun! 72 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,215 Whoa. 73 00:03:36,759 --> 00:03:38,009 You're just going to be the first man in history 74 00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:39,719 to shoot somebody with a safety on? 75 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,804 - What? - Huh? 76 00:03:51,357 --> 00:03:52,941 I don't like guns. 77 00:03:52,942 --> 00:03:54,567 Oh, shit! 78 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,278 - Not enough. - God damn it. 79 00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:58,614 Shit. 80 00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:15,797 Nice to beef you, motherfucker. 81 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:25,056 Hey, it's not about me. It's about you. 82 00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:27,016 I'm glad everybody's safe. 83 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,810 It's a crazy world that we're living in. 84 00:04:28,811 --> 00:04:31,270 - A lot of nut jobs out here. - Oh, Kevin! 85 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,482 Kevin? What just happened? 86 00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:38,027 Real goddamn action! 87 00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,195 That's what just happened. 88 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:41,531 - Okay. - Real fucking action. 89 00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:43,241 That's the adrenaline that I want audiences 90 00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:45,493 across the globe to feel, Deb. 91 00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:47,412 This... this was all staged? 92 00:04:47,413 --> 00:04:49,831 Yeah! All of it. They're actors. 93 00:04:49,832 --> 00:04:51,040 I just wanted to give you a little taste of what 94 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,500 our movie was about, right? 95 00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:54,043 This is the movie that we're going to make. 96 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:56,713 So what I did was, I brought an outline, right? 97 00:04:56,714 --> 00:04:58,506 A little rough outline to give you a little idea 98 00:04:58,507 --> 00:04:59,674 about what we're going to do. 99 00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,634 - Oh, boy. - Right? 100 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,302 The world of our movie lives 101 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,263 in improvised action. 102 00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:08,057 It's spontaneous ass-whoopins. That's what this is about. 103 00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:10,560 That guy spontaneously hit you with a gun. 104 00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:11,728 You're talking about Larry? 105 00:05:11,729 --> 00:05:13,855 Larry! Hey! You got me good. 106 00:05:13,856 --> 00:05:15,773 - I'm gonna feel that one. - Yeah, you are. 107 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:18,067 You goddamn right. Fucking Larry. 108 00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:20,319 You're not well. Oh, no, you're not well. 109 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,779 This is about me getting a respect 110 00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:24,032 that I deserve as an action star, Deb! 111 00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:29,495 What is it that you want me to say here? 112 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:30,747 What do I want you to say? 113 00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:33,208 Deb, I want you to say, I'll do it! 114 00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:36,961 My answer is no. Never. 115 00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:38,296 This is never going to happen, 116 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:39,839 not at my studio or anyone else's. No. 117 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,382 - Please? - No. 118 00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:42,925 - Can you just give it a... - No, no, no, no. 119 00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,969 Deb, can you just... 120 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,680 Can you just please give it a... give it a read? 121 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,808 - Oh. - Okay? Here. 122 00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:53,019 There you go. That's all... that's all I want. 123 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,563 Can you just... 124 00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:57,983 I'll read it. 125 00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:02,612 We did it! Yeah! 126 00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:23,758 Hello, Mr. Greenlight! She loved it, right? 127 00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:25,551 I told you she was going to love it! 128 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,512 What's the budget she gave you? $300 million? 129 00:06:27,513 --> 00:06:29,722 $400... $500 million for this? 130 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,266 Just drive. 131 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,313 I am so sorry, Kevin. That's not... that is not fair. 132 00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:39,732 You are a king, and this town doesn't deserve you. 133 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,609 Do you hear me? You are a king! 134 00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,945 You are my king! Praise! 135 00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:45,863 Praise! 136 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,740 Wait a second. Is that her right there? 137 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,158 Is that her, the one throwing away the script? 138 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,619 Is that her right there? Excuse me, ma'am! 139 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:54,205 Excuse me, ma'am, in the red jacket! How are you? 140 00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:56,666 Kevin Darnell Hart is a national treasure! 141 00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,334 - A national treasure! - Just drive the car! 142 00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,086 We're going to drive the car! 143 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,754 But honestly, get your shit together! 144 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,172 Nice to meet you! 145 00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:05,591 Drive the fucking car, Andre! 146 00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:17,812 Today is gonna be the most amazing day of your life. 147 00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:19,230 Your papers. 148 00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,857 You say the same thing every day, Andre. 149 00:07:20,858 --> 00:07:22,984 - And every day, you're wrong. - Oh, well, come on. 150 00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:24,485 You're just cranky, because you haven't 151 00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:26,112 had your tofu tahini smoothie. 152 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,573 I'll get that for you right now. Sophie! His TT! 153 00:07:28,574 --> 00:07:29,907 I really hate that you call it that. 154 00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,826 Here we go. Big gulps. 155 00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:33,786 - There you go. - No. 156 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:37,290 I'm cranky, because the movie of my dreams just flamed. Okay? 157 00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:39,041 Now, I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. 158 00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:41,502 Well, I mean, come on, man. You still have us. 159 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,837 That's amazing, right? You have us. 160 00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:44,463 What the hell does that mean? Ooh. 161 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:48,259 Hannah, Sophie, me, your man TJ right over here! 162 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:50,094 I'm talking about your village! 163 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:51,512 I know what you need. I know what you need. 164 00:07:51,513 --> 00:07:53,055 A massage. 165 00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,849 Nina, these are all set up for the new hot stones? 166 00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:56,058 I can be in about ten minutes. 167 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:58,269 She can be in about ten minutes. 168 00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:00,479 Kevin, the crew are ready whenever you are. 169 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,023 Yeah. I'm ready. 170 00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:03,107 You got this! 171 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,525 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 172 00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,068 There you go. 173 00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:07,486 Oh, God. How you doing? 174 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,280 Good. Great. 175 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:13,117 Kev, now just pretend you're biking through the Swiss Alps. 176 00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:15,661 We'll CG the Alps in later. 177 00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,205 What is that? 178 00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:18,664 I'm on foot, though. I need a bike, right? 179 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,751 We'll CG that in, too. Action! 180 00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:25,504 You just want me to... 181 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,089 Just go for it. 182 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,841 Act like I'm riding a bike? 183 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,052 Exactly. Straight arms. 184 00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:33,846 Kevin, look at this. Kevin, look at this. 185 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,390 Hey, man. Not... No! 186 00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:39,435 I can't... can't do this shit! I can't. 187 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:44,523 I... I cannot do this shit any more! Alright? 188 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:48,277 I'm tired of the CGI and the goddamn green screens, 189 00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:50,446 all this fake shit! 190 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:51,739 No, uh... 191 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:53,324 I want real fucking action! 192 00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:54,952 Ah! Kevin, no! 193 00:08:57,788 --> 00:09:00,539 Nina? What's the ETA on those hot stones? 194 00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:07,171 It appears A-list actor 195 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,131 Kevin Hart is back in the news again. 196 00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:12,677 Star of the high-octane reboot of The Jefferson's, 197 00:09:12,678 --> 00:09:16,013 {\an8}Hart has spent his own money destroying a high-end Hollywood 198 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:18,683 {\an8}restaurant in an attempt to woo a studio 199 00:09:18,684 --> 00:09:20,685 {\an8}boss into financing what he refers to 200 00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:23,896 {\an8}as a cinema verité-style action film. 201 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,774 This comes just a year after the actor famously 202 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:30,152 fired his long-time stuntman Doug Eubanks 203 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,904 in the middle of production, a decision 204 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,906 that left insiders dumbfounded. 205 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,324 Bring me this man. 206 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:40,121 Bring me this Kevin Hart. 207 00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:41,999 also known as Mr. 206. 208 00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:46,711 Wow. This is big, man. 209 00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:48,629 No, like, this is really big. 210 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,339 Andre, I don't think you understand! 211 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:53,134 I cast my dream out into the universe, and guess what? 212 00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:54,719 Karl Stromberg comes running! 213 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:57,555 Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. 214 00:09:57,556 --> 00:10:00,141 But I got to say, boss. I don't like it. 215 00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:02,351 I mean, you don't even know this guy, right? 216 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,478 I tried to look him up, and nothing came up on Google. 217 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:07,189 Duh. It's because he's European. 218 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,608 They got their own Google. Everybody knows that. Alright? 219 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,153 Listen, the guy is loaded, got tons of money. 220 00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:14,780 And if his desire is to make my movie, then so be it. 221 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,615 - I'm good. - I can't do it, boss. 222 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,409 I am so sorry. I can't do it. 223 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,411 My job is to look out for your best interest, and I don't... 224 00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:22,330 Uh, what did you just say? 225 00:10:22,331 --> 00:10:23,414 It's my job to look out for your... 226 00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,207 It's not your job. 227 00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:28,044 As a matter of fact, that's the complete opposite of your job. 228 00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:30,880 You know who looks out for me, Andre? Me. 229 00:10:30,881 --> 00:10:32,340 That's who looks out for me. Me! 230 00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:33,591 Okay? 231 00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:35,176 - You know what? Pull over. - What? 232 00:10:35,177 --> 00:10:36,469 Pull over. I'm driving myself. I don't want you... 233 00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,887 Kevin, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 234 00:10:37,888 --> 00:10:39,180 Kevin, you can't drive yourself. You need me! 235 00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:41,182 - You need me! - I do not need you. 236 00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:43,517 Correction! I don't need you! 237 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:44,894 I didn't need my stunt man! 238 00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:46,354 I damn sure don't need an assistant 239 00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:47,563 telling me how to live my life. 240 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:48,814 Pull over! 241 00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:53,027 Don't... don't hold the wheel in the middle! 242 00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:55,780 Shut up, Andre! I said shut up! 243 00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:57,406 - I know how to drive! - We know! 244 00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:58,991 We all know! He knows how to drive a car! 245 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:01,452 We know! But let's say you put your hand down. 246 00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:03,454 - You pop it in D. - Pop it in first! 247 00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:05,331 Nope, that's reverse! Whoa! You know what? 248 00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,999 Why don't I help you out? 249 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,001 I'll get in there, I'll start her up, I'll roll out, 250 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,211 and everybody will think it was you. 251 00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:11,670 I don't want your help! 252 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,214 Good, good, good! Good! 253 00:11:13,215 --> 00:11:14,507 Good! Good, good, good! 254 00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,092 Yeah, smooth! Very smooth! 255 00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:18,260 You're leaving! Yeah! Fuck off! 256 00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,013 I'll drive all the way home! 257 00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:42,868 So, Karl... 258 00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:46,123 Karl, what is it, uh, what is that you do for a living, man? 259 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:51,502 I made my fortune mining precious metals. 260 00:11:51,503 --> 00:11:53,170 Mm. 261 00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:57,341 Now, I finance films, primarily in the Balkans, 262 00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:58,884 once in North Korea. 263 00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,970 It's probably hard to get permits over there, huh? 264 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:04,306 Permits are for cowards. 265 00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:08,769 Your outline... is dangerous. 266 00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,312 It's violent. 267 00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:11,897 It's almost no narrative that makes 268 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,859 sense to a regular human being. 269 00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:17,612 I am not the regular human being. No. 270 00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:22,867 - I am Karl Stromberg. - Yeah. 271 00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:24,619 And that is why... 272 00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,623 I will finance this film for you. 273 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,709 What did you just say to me? 274 00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:33,169 You're telling me that you're going 275 00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:36,088 to finance my goddamn movie? Huh? 276 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,091 Dude, you just made my day, man! 277 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,010 And I don't have to do my pitch! Because my pitch is expensive. 278 00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,720 I ain't going to break all this glass 279 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:44,346 and stuff in here, because I know I got to pay for it. 280 00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:45,639 Dude! You just... 281 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,183 I was in a dark place, Karl. 282 00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:49,018 I was in a real dark place, man. 283 00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:51,187 You just pulled me out of a dark place. 284 00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:52,646 Because people underestimate you. 285 00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:53,898 Yeah. 286 00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:56,442 When you left comedy for the action, 287 00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:57,985 they said you'd fail. 288 00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,570 Did they? 289 00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:02,324 When you fired your stuntman to do your own stunts... 290 00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:04,533 they said you would fail. 291 00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:05,826 You heard about that? 292 00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,578 Everyone heard about that. 293 00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,580 It's only you and Tom Cruise who do your own stunts now. 294 00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:11,832 That's... that's a fact. 295 00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:14,126 Two peas in a pod, man. What's going on? 296 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,337 What you doing? 297 00:13:16,338 --> 00:13:17,756 This film, Kevin... 298 00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:23,802 will put you in your own category. 299 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:29,391 Ah! One pea in one pod. 300 00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:30,935 Yes, right. 301 00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,812 That's right. One pea, one pod. 302 00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,440 Hell, yeah. 303 00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:37,942 That's what it's supposed to be, Karl. 304 00:13:37,943 --> 00:13:39,401 You know what, man? I know we just met, 305 00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:42,029 but I feel like I've known you for a long time, 306 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,489 because you get me. 307 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,366 I'm so sick of this... 308 00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:49,578 this CG and this green screen shit! 309 00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,664 So what'd you think of the story, Karl? About me... 310 00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:54,250 No one watches movies for the story. 311 00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:55,668 Yeah. 312 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,379 They watch it for the action. 313 00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,715 And the nudity. 314 00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:04,677 I don't really... 315 00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:07,638 I don't really have any dick in my script. 316 00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:09,098 But if you want some, if you feel like people want 317 00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:11,809 to see dick, I can add some dick. 318 00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:13,894 I can... I'm not afraid to go full frontal. 319 00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:15,896 I'll do it. Right? 320 00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,481 If that's what the people want. 321 00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,483 My biggest thing, though, is the action, man. 322 00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,110 I just don't... I don't want to see it coming. 323 00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:22,820 Right? I want to be caught off guard. 324 00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:24,697 - You will shit your pants! - What you talkin' about? 325 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,616 We will have a change of pants available at all times 326 00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:31,036 for when you shit your pants. 327 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,997 Because I'm scared. 328 00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:34,665 - You will shit. - I... I will shit. 329 00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,333 - You will shit... - Yeah. 330 00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:37,835 - ...your pants. - I'll shit my goddamn pants. 331 00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:39,795 You will shit! 332 00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,547 - I want to shit! - You will shit. 333 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:42,923 Alright! I wanna shit! 334 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,009 - You wanna shit? - Yeah! I will shit! 335 00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:47,094 You shit your pants! 336 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,763 I'm ready to shit my pants, Karl! 337 00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:53,934 I want to shit my pants! Right now! 338 00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:56,645 When... when do we start so I can shit! 339 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,689 We already have. 340 00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:00,649 There's a camera hidden right behind you. 341 00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:04,945 Ohh! 342 00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:07,823 I think I see it! 343 00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,326 The little... the black... the space with the black, right? 344 00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:04,296 Back up! 345 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,006 Get your ass back! 346 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,216 I don't know who you think you messing with, 347 00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,509 but I tell you, you got... 348 00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:10,219 Oh, shit! 349 00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:12,763 He going to fucking eat my ass! 350 00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:15,015 He going to eat my ass and set me on fire or some shit, 351 00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:16,558 ain't you? 352 00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:19,228 Who are you? Huh? 353 00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:21,563 Where am I? Tell me... tell me where I'm at! 354 00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:23,774 Who... Wait a minute. 355 00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:25,902 Do you work, you work for Karl Stromberg? 356 00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:32,659 I said, do you work for Karl Stromberg? 357 00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,249 Okay. 358 00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:43,544 Okay. Okay, we in it. 359 00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:45,671 This is it. We're doing it. 360 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:48,132 Okay, Karl! I like it! I like it! 361 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,175 Um, okay, shit. 362 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,177 Okay, let me see. Where... where are we in the script? 363 00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,138 God, my adrenaline's flowing so much. 364 00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:57,349 You got me! I thought you was really trying to eat my ass! 365 00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,768 Alright. Uh, okay, three, two, one. 366 00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:01,186 Okay. 367 00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,647 Rice, peas, carrots, let's go. 368 00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:12,072 You know, I've been searching the globe for you. 369 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:14,951 You're a hard man to find, Mr. Bartholomew. 370 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,916 I think you got a line. 371 00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,210 You got a line! 372 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:28,172 Uh, you say your part, and I'll react off of that. 373 00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:30,883 Because what you say sets me up to now have my... 374 00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:34,595 Unless you're not union. Or... Is he union or no? 375 00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:37,014 Guys? Can you not just... 376 00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:38,432 Okay. 377 00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:40,476 Oh, rewrite. There must have been pink pages. 378 00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:42,394 Okay. Uh, let me get back in. 379 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,483 What you going to do with those? 380 00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:49,818 Chop off my finger? Hmm? 381 00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:51,653 Cut off my leg? My foot? 382 00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:56,201 Newsflash, I only need one foot to kick your ass. 383 00:17:57,702 --> 00:18:01,663 That is a trailer moment! Guys! I only... 384 00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:04,124 Good evening. 385 00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:07,544 Do not use the shears on this man. 386 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,129 Is that... is that the producer? 387 00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:10,839 Is that Karl? Karl! 388 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:14,218 He must atone for his sins. 389 00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:16,637 What is that? Atone for my... I don't know... 390 00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,555 He must feel the pain 391 00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:20,433 he has made others feel. 392 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,854 Yeah, I'm lost, guys. I don't know where we are. 393 00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:27,981 Um, if we're going to do rewrites, 394 00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:29,900 you guys got to give me the pages. 395 00:18:29,901 --> 00:18:31,443 I'll stay in it. I'll stay in it. Uh... 396 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,032 Okay, alright. Okay. 397 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,784 Why don't we... why don't we take it easy? 398 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,244 Because I know why you're mad, huh? 399 00:18:40,245 --> 00:18:41,495 You're mad because... Stop right there. 400 00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:43,038 Let's stop right there. No, no, no. 401 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:45,374 Let's make that your mark. Nope, stop right there. 402 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:48,669 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! Hey! 403 00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:49,920 Count to ten. 404 00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:51,338 No, fuck you! Wait! 405 00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:53,882 Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey! Hey, man! 406 00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:56,468 Hey! No, no, don't cut my dick! 407 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,887 Don't cut my dick! That's not... Okay, use it. 408 00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:00,681 I'mma use it! Stay in it. 409 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,186 Yeah! 410 00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:15,321 Two. 411 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,532 Come on! 412 00:19:18,533 --> 00:19:19,575 Come on! 413 00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:34,798 Damn it! 414 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,301 No, not today. 415 00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:39,136 Yeah! 416 00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:40,971 Did we get it? Huh? 417 00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:43,765 Spin it! We got it! 418 00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:45,767 Yeah! Oh! 419 00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:51,065 Comin' to beat your ass, Montoya. 420 00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:55,153 This set's incredible. So good. 421 00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,698 Shit! 422 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,367 It's Montoya's men. 423 00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:15,797 Jordan? The hell are you doing here? 424 00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:21,637 Son of a bitch! 425 00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:23,889 Did they hurt you? Hm? Did they hurt you? 426 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:26,224 Kevin, what the hell is going on? 427 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,685 The uranium heist. That's what's going on. 428 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:31,438 - Wait, what? - I already handled Bartholomew. 429 00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:35,651 But General Montoya, he's not going to let us off as easy. 430 00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:38,278 What the hell are you talking about? 431 00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:39,363 Shit! 432 00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:41,114 I was walking my dog, 433 00:20:41,115 --> 00:20:42,783 and someone hit me in the fucking neck 434 00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:44,451 with a tranquillizer dart! 435 00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,578 - Huh? - And I ended up here. 436 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,246 What are you talking about? 437 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,873 You didn't talk to Karl Stromberg? 438 00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:51,249 Who? 439 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,585 Karl Stromberg about the movie? 440 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:56,004 Right now, we're in it! This is the movie! 441 00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:57,381 It's a live-action movie! 442 00:20:57,382 --> 00:20:59,716 We're improving all the action scenes! 443 00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:02,260 No green screen, no fucking cables. 444 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,012 It's real, raw. 445 00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:05,472 He's going to take my acting career 446 00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,140 and my action status to the next level. 447 00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:08,850 So this is all your fault? 448 00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:10,644 Well, I mean, it's my script. 449 00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:12,604 It took me I don't know how long to develop it. But Karl... 450 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,272 - What the hell is your problem! - Stop! 451 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,649 What is wrong with you? 452 00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:17,109 - Shit! Ow! - Annoying! 453 00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:19,236 Stop. Shit! That's sharp! 454 00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:21,196 How long were you laying on that? 455 00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:22,698 Damn it! 456 00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:24,533 Now, why you got an attitude? 457 00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:27,828 This is a simple outline! It's a layup! 458 00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:30,038 Okay? I'm a triple agent. 459 00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:32,624 MI-7. I'm the highest of high, right? 460 00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,292 Like, you can't get higher than where I am. 461 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,253 But you... you're my love interest. 462 00:21:36,254 --> 00:21:37,629 They took you hostage because they knew that's the only way 463 00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,047 to get to me. 464 00:21:39,048 --> 00:21:40,841 So now, I'm here, and I got to get you. 465 00:21:40,842 --> 00:21:42,426 - You understand what... - You're pathetic. 466 00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:45,303 And I'm pretty sure that kidnapping is a felony. 467 00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:47,556 Well, I'm pretty sure that when you're an adult, 468 00:21:47,557 --> 00:21:49,057 they don't call it kidnapping. 469 00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:51,143 So that's... That's pathetic. 470 00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:52,644 Fuck you, Kevin. 471 00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:54,771 What do you mean fuck me? Why are you at me? 472 00:21:54,772 --> 00:21:56,565 You should be mad at Karl Stromberg! Not me! 473 00:21:56,566 --> 00:21:58,483 I do not know who that is! 474 00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:00,235 Shh! 475 00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:05,782 You don't want him to hear you. 476 00:22:05,783 --> 00:22:07,701 Who? Who will hear me? 477 00:22:07,702 --> 00:22:10,579 There's no one here! And do not say Karl Stromberg. 478 00:22:10,580 --> 00:22:12,497 Are you saying Strum or Strom? 479 00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:14,082 Is it Strum or Stromberg? Because I don't know. 480 00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:16,334 Okay, hey, hey, hey. 481 00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:18,211 There are cameras everywhere. 482 00:22:18,212 --> 00:22:20,088 We're filming a movie! 483 00:22:20,089 --> 00:22:24,801 Where? There are no cameras anywhere! 484 00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:27,929 Will you look around? There's cameras everywhere! 485 00:22:27,930 --> 00:22:29,681 Okay, listen. Listen. 486 00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:32,768 All I need you to do is just grasp what's going on. 487 00:22:32,769 --> 00:22:35,103 This is a big opportunity for both of us. 488 00:22:35,104 --> 00:22:37,898 Okay? Just get in character. 489 00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:39,649 Please? 490 00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:46,114 They got this place locked down tighter than Fort Knox. 491 00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:48,742 Oh, God. You wrote this dialogue? 492 00:22:48,743 --> 00:22:51,953 Those motherfuckers knew I would come rescue you. 493 00:22:51,954 --> 00:22:54,498 Beautiful damsel in distress like yourself. 494 00:22:56,209 --> 00:22:59,961 Yep. Thank you for rescuing me. 495 00:22:59,962 --> 00:23:04,132 Just like any woman, I wouldn't know what to do 496 00:23:04,133 --> 00:23:08,178 if a man didn't show up to save me and tell me to eat 497 00:23:08,179 --> 00:23:10,972 so I don't starve and breathe oxygen, so I don't suffocate. 498 00:23:10,973 --> 00:23:13,308 Let's cut. Let's cut. 499 00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:15,018 Can we cut? 500 00:23:15,019 --> 00:23:16,437 Can you work with me? 501 00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:20,941 - I'd rather not. - Please. 502 00:23:20,942 --> 00:23:22,818 - Thank you. - Okay. 503 00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:24,945 Alright, guys, we're going to go again. Alright? 504 00:23:24,946 --> 00:23:26,029 Self-action. 505 00:23:27,824 --> 00:23:30,367 Do you have any idea what's on the other side of that door? 506 00:23:30,368 --> 00:23:32,744 There are some dangerous men on the other side of that door. 507 00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:36,164 I'm talking mercenaries, killers, ninjas, 508 00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:37,833 failed karate school instructors, 509 00:23:37,834 --> 00:23:39,292 people that want to do bad things to me 510 00:23:39,293 --> 00:23:41,211 just because they can. 511 00:23:41,212 --> 00:23:44,298 There's a bounty on my fucking head. 512 00:23:46,551 --> 00:23:48,386 I'll tell you what, Esmeralda. 513 00:23:50,304 --> 00:23:52,472 I'll pay that bounty. 514 00:23:52,473 --> 00:23:56,268 And I will give them my head... if it meant saving your life 515 00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:57,978 so that you can finish med school 516 00:23:57,979 --> 00:23:59,771 and open up that clinic that you always wanted to... 517 00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:01,648 Ow! Shit! 518 00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:03,608 Open up that clinic that you always wanted... 519 00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:05,069 Esmeralda, wait. 520 00:24:06,863 --> 00:24:09,698 Esmeralda! Hey! 521 00:24:12,201 --> 00:24:14,995 Oh, you fucking piece of shit! 522 00:24:14,996 --> 00:24:17,205 You leave her out of it, you hear me? 523 00:24:17,206 --> 00:24:19,583 She's got nothing to do with this. 524 00:24:19,584 --> 00:24:24,546 This is between me, you, and the 78,000 kilos of stolen uranium. 525 00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:28,550 Alright. That's how you want to have it? 526 00:24:28,551 --> 00:24:31,428 Let's have at it. 527 00:24:31,429 --> 00:24:33,346 I'm so over this. 528 00:24:33,347 --> 00:24:35,932 Kevin, next time you have a terrible movie idea, 529 00:24:35,933 --> 00:24:37,726 leave me out of it, yeah? 530 00:24:37,727 --> 00:24:39,269 - Ah! - Oh, shit! 531 00:24:43,065 --> 00:24:45,442 I'm sorry, but did this central casting goon 532 00:24:45,443 --> 00:24:48,737 just hit me in the face with a real fucking ass... Cut. 533 00:24:48,738 --> 00:24:51,031 No, no, no, we need to cut right now! 534 00:24:51,032 --> 00:24:52,782 I don't know what weird production this is, 535 00:24:52,783 --> 00:24:54,618 but I need to speak to a producer! 536 00:25:06,339 --> 00:25:07,757 Is that all you've got? 537 00:25:09,592 --> 00:25:11,552 Jordan. Let me get in there now. 538 00:25:13,471 --> 00:25:15,639 Slam his ass! 539 00:25:18,476 --> 00:25:20,894 Jordan! Let my character get some! 540 00:25:20,895 --> 00:25:22,271 Tag me in! 541 00:25:27,902 --> 00:25:29,694 Damn! 542 00:25:36,244 --> 00:25:38,913 Hold it. 543 00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:44,001 Yeah! 544 00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:47,671 Whoa! We got that! 545 00:25:47,672 --> 00:25:49,130 What a scene! 546 00:25:49,131 --> 00:25:51,549 Good job! Here. 547 00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:52,884 I think I'm the one that was supposed 548 00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:54,302 to kick his ass, though. 549 00:25:54,303 --> 00:25:55,804 Because I'm the lead. 550 00:25:55,805 --> 00:25:57,097 So I'm quite sure that was supposed to be me. 551 00:25:57,098 --> 00:25:58,348 But we'll fix it in post... 552 00:25:59,934 --> 00:26:02,436 Go, go, go! Go! 553 00:26:08,192 --> 00:26:09,526 That guy was trying to kill me! 554 00:26:09,527 --> 00:26:10,944 Kevin, not acting! 555 00:26:10,945 --> 00:26:12,779 Not a movie! Literally trying to kill me! 556 00:26:12,780 --> 00:26:15,198 No. It's cinema verité. 557 00:26:15,199 --> 00:26:16,741 I know it's a little different, but that's what it is. 558 00:26:16,742 --> 00:26:19,327 Different? A little fucking different, Kevin? 559 00:26:19,328 --> 00:26:21,037 - Wow, shit! - Are you okay? 560 00:26:21,038 --> 00:26:23,415 Yeah, I know you're just trying to get me to apologize. 561 00:26:23,416 --> 00:26:25,792 - Just give me a second. What? - Kevin. 562 00:26:25,793 --> 00:26:28,713 You've been hit. With a real fucking bullet! 563 00:26:30,715 --> 00:26:32,465 That's not real blood. 564 00:26:32,466 --> 00:26:33,967 What? 565 00:26:33,968 --> 00:26:35,844 - Of course it's real blood! - No. Taste it. 566 00:26:35,845 --> 00:26:37,470 I'm not going to taste your blood, Kevin! 567 00:26:37,471 --> 00:26:39,723 You can! You can! It's pig's blood! 568 00:26:39,724 --> 00:26:42,142 It's not my blood. 569 00:26:42,143 --> 00:26:43,601 Does that feel fake? 570 00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:46,980 - Ow! Ow! - Shit! Shit, shit. 571 00:26:46,981 --> 00:26:50,359 I gotta lay down! 572 00:26:51,861 --> 00:26:55,030 Kevin! 573 00:26:55,031 --> 00:26:56,823 No, no, no, no, no! Wait, look! 574 00:26:56,824 --> 00:26:59,160 There's a photographer! Look. He wants your picture! See? 575 00:27:00,161 --> 00:27:03,205 Go on! What the fuck! 576 00:27:05,333 --> 00:27:06,791 If I had what now? 577 00:27:06,792 --> 00:27:08,668 Just an unexpected accident 578 00:27:08,669 --> 00:27:11,504 with a very small, 579 00:27:11,505 --> 00:27:15,258 flying, fast, like projectile object through his shoulder. 580 00:27:15,259 --> 00:27:16,468 And I just think some painkillers 581 00:27:16,469 --> 00:27:17,510 would really help him. 582 00:27:17,511 --> 00:27:18,762 Mm-hmm. 583 00:27:18,763 --> 00:27:20,263 I know I don't have a prescription, 584 00:27:20,264 --> 00:27:22,058 but I can assure you, this is an emergency. 585 00:27:24,143 --> 00:27:25,561 I see. 586 00:27:28,731 --> 00:27:30,440 You want to score some good drugs? 587 00:27:30,441 --> 00:27:33,234 Some xannies, some ox, chuckleheads, 588 00:27:33,235 --> 00:27:35,862 wet Garys, Shriek and Jimmy's, moon pie, spider pie? 589 00:27:35,863 --> 00:27:37,530 Look, I'm not a drug addict! 590 00:27:37,531 --> 00:27:39,783 I'm an actor! Don't you recognize me? 591 00:27:39,784 --> 00:27:41,826 Um... 592 00:27:41,827 --> 00:27:43,495 Okay, it doesn't matter. Alright? 593 00:27:43,496 --> 00:27:45,121 My idiot friend got shot with a real bullet, 594 00:27:45,122 --> 00:27:47,582 an actual fucking bullet from an actual fucking gun! 595 00:27:47,583 --> 00:27:49,334 And now, he's bleeding out in your alleyway! 596 00:27:49,335 --> 00:27:51,669 And if you don't help me help him, 597 00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:53,631 you're going to have a body on your hands! 598 00:27:55,925 --> 00:27:58,009 Would I know him from anywhere? 599 00:27:59,637 --> 00:28:01,237 You're lucky it just grazed you. 600 00:28:02,890 --> 00:28:05,433 Here. It's the best I could do. 601 00:28:05,434 --> 00:28:08,395 - The hell is this? - It's for the pain. 602 00:28:08,396 --> 00:28:11,272 Pharmacist was a real piece of work. 603 00:28:11,273 --> 00:28:12,482 Well, you're a piece of work for bringing 604 00:28:12,483 --> 00:28:14,025 this out here to me. 605 00:28:14,026 --> 00:28:16,027 I can't drink this. This is my competitor! 606 00:28:16,028 --> 00:28:18,321 You got to go back in there and ask for Grand Cormino. 607 00:28:18,322 --> 00:28:19,656 Are you being serious right now? 608 00:28:19,657 --> 00:28:21,491 Kevin, you've been shot! I was kidnapped! 609 00:28:21,492 --> 00:28:24,494 - Grown woman acting. Okay. - You need to fix this! 610 00:28:24,495 --> 00:28:28,456 - You need to fix this now! - I told you, I can't! Okay? 611 00:28:28,457 --> 00:28:29,749 Even if I wanted to, I can't do it. 612 00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:31,835 And by the way, it's all by design. 613 00:28:31,836 --> 00:28:34,087 I gave all the rights over to Karl Stromberg, 614 00:28:34,088 --> 00:28:37,340 who is a great precious metals magnate. 615 00:28:37,341 --> 00:28:38,842 You do hear how that sounds, right? 616 00:28:38,843 --> 00:28:41,177 You... you hear the words? 617 00:28:41,178 --> 00:28:42,680 You know, Andre was right. 618 00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:45,223 Andre, your assistant? 619 00:28:45,224 --> 00:28:49,269 Yes, my assistant. No, my former assistant. 620 00:28:49,270 --> 00:28:51,646 He was right, though. You know what we're going to do? 621 00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:54,524 We're going to pay Karl Stromberg a visit. 622 00:28:54,525 --> 00:28:56,276 Yeah, that's exactly what we're going to do. 623 00:28:56,277 --> 00:28:58,111 We're going to tell him he needs to get back on book. 624 00:28:58,112 --> 00:29:02,073 Because right now, he's not following my guidelines at all. 625 00:29:02,074 --> 00:29:03,491 And we're all over the place. 626 00:29:03,492 --> 00:29:05,243 In order for this movie to be the best thing 627 00:29:05,244 --> 00:29:08,079 that we know that it can be, we got to get back on pace. 628 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:09,957 Okay? We're paying him a visit. 629 00:29:12,460 --> 00:29:14,586 Well, at least my car is still here. 630 00:29:14,587 --> 00:29:15,962 Yeah, but it's the only one. 631 00:29:15,963 --> 00:29:17,422 This place is dead. 632 00:29:17,423 --> 00:29:19,757 Yes, because it's the weekend. That's why. 633 00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:21,593 Kevin, it's Tuesday. 634 00:29:21,594 --> 00:29:22,887 Oh. 635 00:29:27,016 --> 00:29:28,434 Wait, what the fuck? 636 00:29:30,186 --> 00:29:31,311 Kevin, it doesn't look like anyone's 637 00:29:31,312 --> 00:29:33,104 been here for weeks. 638 00:29:33,105 --> 00:29:34,522 No, that's not true. 639 00:29:34,523 --> 00:29:36,649 I was just here. I was just here. 640 00:29:36,650 --> 00:29:38,776 Stromberg was right there. Okay? 641 00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:40,737 That was the last week, or it may have been a week before. 642 00:29:40,738 --> 00:29:42,113 I don't know what week it was, because I 643 00:29:42,114 --> 00:29:43,990 got knocked the fuck out. But I was here. 644 00:29:43,991 --> 00:29:46,326 He was sitting at a desk, right here. 645 00:29:46,327 --> 00:29:48,370 This is where he was. He was... 646 00:29:51,290 --> 00:29:52,458 Hmm? 647 00:29:55,628 --> 00:29:57,670 You will shit your pants! 648 00:29:57,671 --> 00:29:59,380 I'm not crazy. 649 00:29:59,381 --> 00:30:01,090 I knew he was here. 650 00:30:01,091 --> 00:30:02,800 Would I have this if he wasn't here? 651 00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:04,552 It's the butt to his cigar. 652 00:30:04,553 --> 00:30:06,012 You know what he was doing? 653 00:30:06,013 --> 00:30:08,556 He was doing real weird stuff with the cigar, 654 00:30:08,557 --> 00:30:11,935 licking it, putting it in his nose, slobbering all on it. 655 00:30:11,936 --> 00:30:13,811 I was watching him while he was doing it. 656 00:30:13,812 --> 00:30:15,021 Closing his eyes. 657 00:30:15,022 --> 00:30:16,815 All of a sudden... 658 00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:21,152 Why did you have to drag me 659 00:30:21,153 --> 00:30:24,030 into your stupid fantasy death wish movie? 660 00:30:24,031 --> 00:30:25,573 What are you talking about? 661 00:30:25,574 --> 00:30:27,450 All I said was think somebody like Jordan King. 662 00:30:27,451 --> 00:30:29,285 Keyword, "think." It was a suggestion. 663 00:30:29,286 --> 00:30:30,995 Oh, great. Thanks for the suggestion. 664 00:30:30,996 --> 00:30:32,580 He probably wanted you because you're one 665 00:30:32,581 --> 00:30:34,207 of the biggest stars in Sweden. What if that's the case? 666 00:30:34,208 --> 00:30:35,959 I'm pretty sure Greta Thunberg 667 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:37,418 is the biggest star in Sweden. 668 00:30:37,419 --> 00:30:38,795 The environmental activist? 669 00:30:38,796 --> 00:30:40,436 Yeah, they have their priorities straight. 670 00:30:41,715 --> 00:30:43,008 Hey, whoa. 671 00:30:44,468 --> 00:30:46,220 Wait a minute. Come here. What's this? 672 00:30:47,263 --> 00:30:48,222 Look. 673 00:30:49,306 --> 00:30:50,557 Look, will you just look? 674 00:30:59,483 --> 00:31:00,985 The hell is this? 675 00:31:03,279 --> 00:31:06,030 Whoa. It's the VHS. 676 00:31:06,031 --> 00:31:07,908 I haven't seen one of these in years. 677 00:31:14,290 --> 00:31:17,292 Hey, it's Brian Penn from Buchwald Associates reading fo... 678 00:31:17,293 --> 00:31:19,669 Um, I'm sorry, is it Stromberg or... 679 00:31:19,670 --> 00:31:21,796 That's Karl Stromberg! It's Stromberg. 680 00:31:21,797 --> 00:31:23,756 It's him! I mean, he... 681 00:31:23,757 --> 00:31:25,258 It's different hair, but it's him! 682 00:31:25,259 --> 00:31:29,804 Bring me this man, this... Kevin Hart. 683 00:31:29,805 --> 00:31:31,806 I... I'm actually going to go thicker. 684 00:31:31,807 --> 00:31:34,100 Kevin, it's an audition tape. 685 00:31:34,101 --> 00:31:37,020 Yeah, well, obviously. I can see that. 686 00:31:37,021 --> 00:31:38,646 I see that it's an audition tape. 687 00:31:38,647 --> 00:31:40,565 The question is, why? Why is it an audition tape? 688 00:31:40,566 --> 00:31:43,526 Oh, my god. Wait a minute, is Karl Stromberg even real? 689 00:31:43,527 --> 00:31:45,361 What, you didn't google him before the meeting? 690 00:31:45,362 --> 00:31:47,030 He's from Sweden. 691 00:31:47,031 --> 00:31:48,823 You want me to go all the way to Sweden and google? 692 00:31:48,824 --> 00:31:50,908 That's ridiculous. Stop. 693 00:31:50,909 --> 00:31:52,243 Are you on drugs? 694 00:31:57,791 --> 00:31:59,293 Quick, answer it! 695 00:32:08,218 --> 00:32:09,510 Hello? 696 00:32:09,511 --> 00:32:11,721 Hello, Mr. Action Star. 697 00:32:11,722 --> 00:32:13,681 Congratulations. You escaped. 698 00:32:13,682 --> 00:32:16,184 Uh, do you know you shot me with a real bullet? 699 00:32:16,185 --> 00:32:17,560 Of course I know. 700 00:32:17,561 --> 00:32:19,270 That bullet was meant to kill you. 701 00:32:19,271 --> 00:32:20,730 Oh, that's stupid. 702 00:32:20,731 --> 00:32:22,398 You kill me, and then you don't have a movie. 703 00:32:22,399 --> 00:32:24,275 You moron. There is no movie. 704 00:32:24,276 --> 00:32:25,652 There never was. 705 00:32:25,653 --> 00:32:26,986 What do you mean there's no movie? 706 00:32:26,987 --> 00:32:28,404 You'd better stop talking like that. 707 00:32:28,405 --> 00:32:30,114 That's blasphemy, and you know it. 708 00:32:30,115 --> 00:32:32,241 There is a movie. Okay, who is this? 709 00:32:32,242 --> 00:32:33,785 Are you the producer? 710 00:32:33,786 --> 00:32:35,620 You have forgotten who you are, 711 00:32:35,621 --> 00:32:37,580 where you came from. 712 00:32:37,581 --> 00:32:39,582 I didn't... didn't anybody forget where they came from. 713 00:32:39,583 --> 00:32:41,292 Then what was the name 714 00:32:41,293 --> 00:32:43,504 of your first elementary school teacher? 715 00:32:47,424 --> 00:32:49,050 Ms. Foxen. 716 00:32:49,051 --> 00:32:51,552 No, Ms. Clarkson... Clarkson... Clarkson. 717 00:32:51,553 --> 00:32:53,304 Yeah, Ms. Clarkson. 718 00:32:53,305 --> 00:32:54,889 And the hospital where you were born? 719 00:32:54,890 --> 00:32:56,307 What does that have to do with anything? 720 00:32:56,308 --> 00:32:57,768 The name. 721 00:32:59,728 --> 00:33:01,729 Go on. 722 00:33:01,730 --> 00:33:05,525 Uh, Saint Falkenstein. 723 00:33:05,526 --> 00:33:08,069 - That sounds wrong. - Saint Falkenstein Hospital. 724 00:33:08,070 --> 00:33:10,113 What... Hey! Enough of this shit! 725 00:33:10,114 --> 00:33:11,948 Cut the shit! Who are you? 726 00:33:11,949 --> 00:33:13,491 Who the fuck are you? 727 00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:15,159 I'm the person who's brought 728 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:16,536 an end to your life. 729 00:33:16,537 --> 00:33:18,121 You are no longer cared for. 730 00:33:18,122 --> 00:33:20,248 - You're worth nothing. - Uh, excuse me. 731 00:33:20,249 --> 00:33:22,542 Can I ask why I've been dragged into this? 732 00:33:24,420 --> 00:33:27,004 Great, Kevin! You took all the phone time with him! 733 00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:28,548 Oh, I'm sorry. 734 00:33:28,549 --> 00:33:30,133 Excuse the fuck out of me for trying to figure out 735 00:33:30,134 --> 00:33:32,260 what was going on with my life, trying to hear 736 00:33:32,261 --> 00:33:34,137 a serial killer voice out. 737 00:33:34,138 --> 00:33:35,805 I'm sorry that I inconvenienced you! 738 00:33:35,806 --> 00:33:38,057 - Shh! Shh! - Goddamn it, Jordan! 739 00:33:38,058 --> 00:33:39,809 Shh! Do you hear that? 740 00:33:43,230 --> 00:33:45,189 It's the VCR. 741 00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:46,900 What the fuck? 742 00:33:48,444 --> 00:33:50,486 Oh, fuck, it's a bomb. 743 00:33:50,487 --> 00:33:52,572 - What? - It's a fucking bomb. 744 00:33:52,573 --> 00:33:53,948 Well, disarm it! 745 00:33:53,949 --> 00:33:55,366 You fucking disarm it! 746 00:33:55,367 --> 00:33:56,951 Oh, yeah, 'cause I know how to disarm a bomb. 747 00:33:56,952 --> 00:33:59,036 Oh, I do 'cause I'm Black? That's what you think? 748 00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:00,538 Every Black man know how to disarm a bomb? 749 00:34:00,539 --> 00:34:01,873 That is not a thing, Kevin. 750 00:34:01,874 --> 00:34:03,249 Oh, I bet it's not a thing. 751 00:34:03,250 --> 00:34:05,127 Get your racist ass back. Move, move! 752 00:34:06,378 --> 00:34:07,920 Quick, quick, quick. Come on. 753 00:34:07,921 --> 00:34:11,299 Oh, my God. Open it, open it. 754 00:34:11,300 --> 00:34:13,177 Pull, pull! 755 00:34:16,555 --> 00:34:18,056 Hold it, hold it, hold it. 756 00:34:22,311 --> 00:34:24,395 Back. Get back, get back, get back! 757 00:34:24,396 --> 00:34:25,688 Shit. 758 00:34:32,029 --> 00:34:33,905 Okay. 759 00:34:33,906 --> 00:34:35,823 Well, I guess it is just a movie. 760 00:34:35,824 --> 00:34:37,492 Yeah, and that was a fake bomb... 761 00:34:38,702 --> 00:34:40,119 Whoa! 762 00:34:48,712 --> 00:34:50,129 Where's my keys? 763 00:34:50,130 --> 00:34:51,547 - Oh, my god! - Oh, you're okay. 764 00:34:51,548 --> 00:34:53,007 You're okay. What was that sound? 765 00:34:53,008 --> 00:34:54,801 Andre? What the hell are you doing here? 766 00:34:54,802 --> 00:34:56,260 - Come on, go. - What are you talking about? 767 00:34:56,261 --> 00:34:57,512 - We gotta go. - I'll get the door for you. 768 00:34:57,513 --> 00:34:59,013 Go now! 769 00:34:59,014 --> 00:35:00,973 Kevin, that was a real fucking bomb. 770 00:35:00,974 --> 00:35:02,683 A real fucking bomb! 771 00:35:02,684 --> 00:35:04,435 Okay, Jordan, well, can you put yourself in my shoes? 772 00:35:04,436 --> 00:35:05,937 I will not, no. No. 773 00:35:05,938 --> 00:35:07,355 I do not have to do that. Do you know what? 774 00:35:07,356 --> 00:35:09,941 Just shut up. Shut the fuck up. 775 00:35:09,942 --> 00:35:12,652 Hey, Jordan. I'm Andre. I don't know if you remember me. 776 00:35:12,653 --> 00:35:13,945 Hey, man, put your hand on the wheel. 777 00:35:13,946 --> 00:35:15,279 You got it. 778 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,031 I'm actually... I'm Kevin's protege. 779 00:35:17,032 --> 00:35:21,035 Sorry, I'm Kevin's assistant... Former assistant. Fuck me. 780 00:35:21,036 --> 00:35:24,163 Of course I remember you, Andre. So what? 781 00:35:24,164 --> 00:35:25,998 Kevin kicked you out in the middle of the street, did he? 782 00:35:25,999 --> 00:35:28,543 No, pish-posh. No, of course not. 783 00:35:28,544 --> 00:35:32,004 Technically, it was the sidewalk and I love Skid Row. 784 00:35:32,005 --> 00:35:33,548 Everybody's got a story to tell. 785 00:35:33,549 --> 00:35:35,466 So many teachable moments. 786 00:35:35,467 --> 00:35:37,093 Wait, you... you didn't go home? 787 00:35:37,094 --> 00:35:38,803 You just waited here this whole time? 788 00:35:38,804 --> 00:35:40,596 Well, yeah. I mean, I always carry a spare key, right? 789 00:35:40,597 --> 00:35:42,765 That's what I do. And I don't mind waiting. 790 00:35:42,766 --> 00:35:46,477 - It was a quick 25, 30 hours. - Thirty hours? 791 00:35:46,478 --> 00:35:49,146 I would wait a lifetime to make sure Kevin is okay. 792 00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:51,607 Stop it. Stop it. I didn't ask you to do that. 793 00:35:51,608 --> 00:35:54,026 - Don't act like I did. - I know, I know. 794 00:35:54,027 --> 00:35:55,611 And I know you fired me. 795 00:35:55,612 --> 00:35:57,405 Oh, right, you fired him 796 00:35:57,406 --> 00:36:00,074 because he tried to warn you about the Swedish mobster that 797 00:36:00,075 --> 00:36:02,326 was actually a shitty actor who was working 798 00:36:02,327 --> 00:36:03,911 for someone trying to murder us. 799 00:36:03,912 --> 00:36:05,162 Okay, I don't understand what's happening. 800 00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:06,706 I really don't. And Jordan, 801 00:36:06,707 --> 00:36:07,957 I'm just gonna throw this out there right now. 802 00:36:07,958 --> 00:36:09,584 I feel like you're still mad at me. 803 00:36:09,585 --> 00:36:12,169 I will never not be mad at you for the rest of my life. 804 00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:14,755 I am so sorry to interrupt, but where am I going? 805 00:36:14,756 --> 00:36:16,299 Because I've just been driving. 806 00:36:16,300 --> 00:36:17,592 Hey, hey, we're going to my house. 807 00:36:17,593 --> 00:36:18,926 - You got it. - Okay, go to my house. 808 00:36:18,927 --> 00:36:20,344 No, I'm not going to your house. 809 00:36:20,345 --> 00:36:21,721 - I'm going to my house. - Your house it is. 810 00:36:21,722 --> 00:36:23,139 No, you're not going to your house, 811 00:36:23,140 --> 00:36:24,432 because I need to know that you're safe. 812 00:36:24,433 --> 00:36:26,559 Oh, right, yeah, just like Andre wanted 813 00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,227 to make sure you were safe. 814 00:36:28,228 --> 00:36:31,147 You know what? I know what you're doing. 815 00:36:31,148 --> 00:36:32,565 I know exactly what you're doing. 816 00:36:32,566 --> 00:36:34,275 You're trying to do one of those things 817 00:36:34,276 --> 00:36:37,737 where you make me evaluate who I am as a person, right? 818 00:36:37,738 --> 00:36:39,530 That's what you're trying to do. But guess what? 819 00:36:39,531 --> 00:36:41,198 I'm not gonna do that, because who I am as a person 820 00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:43,826 is who I'm okay with, and I'm settled in. 821 00:36:45,829 --> 00:36:48,414 It's not working. I'm gonna try one more time. 822 00:36:48,415 --> 00:36:49,749 Are you sure you're punching in the right code? 823 00:36:49,750 --> 00:36:51,459 Of course, man. It's your birthday, 824 00:36:51,460 --> 00:36:53,419 like I'd ever forget that. It's tattooed on my inner thigh. 825 00:36:53,420 --> 00:36:55,296 I rub it every morning. 826 00:36:55,297 --> 00:36:56,589 - See what I'm dealing with? - Okay. 827 00:36:56,590 --> 00:36:58,466 All the time, this is what it is. 828 00:36:58,467 --> 00:37:00,343 It's not working. Wait, wait, wait. 829 00:37:00,344 --> 00:37:02,136 Maybe the person who's behind all of this 830 00:37:02,137 --> 00:37:03,638 changed the gate code. 831 00:37:03,639 --> 00:37:06,223 Wait, and they think I'm dead. 832 00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:07,808 So maybe this is to our advantage, right? 833 00:37:07,809 --> 00:37:09,226 Hm. Maybe. 834 00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:11,354 Yeah, no, there's... Oh, shit, security. 835 00:37:11,355 --> 00:37:12,813 It's security, Jordan. Get in the back. Hide. 836 00:37:12,814 --> 00:37:14,398 Dude, maybe we just exit now. Should I go now? 837 00:37:14,399 --> 00:37:15,691 No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 838 00:37:15,692 --> 00:37:17,026 I should just... I'm gonna leave. 839 00:37:17,027 --> 00:37:18,611 You have to leave. Stop, stop, stop. 840 00:37:18,612 --> 00:37:20,446 Are you sure? He's huge. He doesn't like me. 841 00:37:20,447 --> 00:37:21,989 - Sir... - Hey, what's going on? 842 00:37:21,990 --> 00:37:23,574 How are you, my man? Nice to meet you. 843 00:37:23,575 --> 00:37:25,409 Are you aware you're trespassing on private property? 844 00:37:25,410 --> 00:37:28,454 I did not. I... I was not aware, no. 845 00:37:28,455 --> 00:37:30,456 Please reverse out and have a nice day. 846 00:37:30,457 --> 00:37:32,583 You got it, my man. No, do not reverse. 847 00:37:32,584 --> 00:37:33,834 - You can't reverse. - You know what? 848 00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:35,461 I'm not... I can't... 849 00:37:35,462 --> 00:37:37,672 My boss actually lives inside there. 850 00:37:37,673 --> 00:37:40,049 So if I can just jump in there real quick, it'd be great. 851 00:37:40,050 --> 00:37:41,884 Reverse out now, and no one has to get 852 00:37:41,885 --> 00:37:43,260 pumped full of electricity. 853 00:37:43,261 --> 00:37:45,137 Of course. I'm positive no one needs that. 854 00:37:45,138 --> 00:37:48,474 No, do not reverse. Do not reverse. 855 00:37:48,475 --> 00:37:50,101 - Do not reverse. - I'm not gonna reverse. 856 00:37:50,102 --> 00:37:51,687 Do not fuck with me. 857 00:37:53,397 --> 00:37:55,231 - He's bluffing. - You're bluffing. 858 00:37:55,232 --> 00:37:57,275 I assure you, I'm not bluffing. 859 00:37:58,568 --> 00:38:00,236 He's fucking bluffing. 860 00:38:00,237 --> 00:38:02,613 - Fuck with him. He's bluffing. - Fuck you. You're full of... 861 00:38:07,619 --> 00:38:09,037 Compliments of Mr. H. 862 00:38:10,706 --> 00:38:12,039 Well, I didn't tell him to do that. 863 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:13,416 - Andre? - Is he okay? 864 00:38:13,417 --> 00:38:14,918 Andre? Andre? 865 00:38:20,841 --> 00:38:23,217 Hey, Andre, m... maybe one of us should just drive. 866 00:38:23,218 --> 00:38:25,219 No, you don't have to worry about that. I got it. 867 00:38:25,220 --> 00:38:27,847 - I got you, my man. - Damn it. 868 00:38:27,848 --> 00:38:29,890 I got a crook in my neck that's a bitch. 869 00:38:29,891 --> 00:38:32,560 I... I swear, I gotta get to Nina so she can fix this. 870 00:38:32,561 --> 00:38:34,186 - Who's Nina? - Kevin's full-time masseuse. 871 00:38:34,187 --> 00:38:35,563 She's my full-time masseuse. 872 00:38:35,564 --> 00:38:37,565 Of course. 873 00:38:37,566 --> 00:38:39,191 Oh, okay, well, I'm glad that my life 874 00:38:39,192 --> 00:38:40,735 getting destroyed amuses you. 875 00:38:40,736 --> 00:38:42,528 Well, didn't you basically ask for all of this? 876 00:38:42,529 --> 00:38:43,904 No, I didn't basically ask for all of this. 877 00:38:43,905 --> 00:38:46,115 I did not do that. I asked for a movie. 878 00:38:46,116 --> 00:38:47,491 There's a big difference. 879 00:38:47,492 --> 00:38:49,326 A movie has cameras and sound, lights. 880 00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:50,703 That's what that has in it. 881 00:38:50,704 --> 00:38:53,080 This is not the same, not the same. 882 00:38:53,081 --> 00:38:54,665 We need to go to the police. 883 00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:56,667 No, no, we do not need to go to police. 884 00:38:56,668 --> 00:38:59,462 Whoever this guy is, he thinks that we're dead, right? 885 00:38:59,463 --> 00:39:02,465 So we use that to our advantage, okay? 886 00:39:02,466 --> 00:39:04,258 We make him think th... that we're not here. 887 00:39:04,259 --> 00:39:06,343 We disappear. We just gotta figure out where to go. 888 00:39:06,344 --> 00:39:08,387 Man, this is where Natasha would come in handy, 889 00:39:08,388 --> 00:39:10,014 'cause she would know exactly where we should go. 890 00:39:10,015 --> 00:39:11,682 - And who the hell is Natasha? - She handles... 891 00:39:11,683 --> 00:39:14,351 She's Kevin's Airbnb consultant. 892 00:39:14,352 --> 00:39:15,978 - This is getting ridiculous. - Oh, my God. 893 00:39:15,979 --> 00:39:17,521 I know exactly where we can go 894 00:39:17,522 --> 00:39:19,149 where no one would ever search for us. 895 00:39:20,567 --> 00:39:24,320 Who's in? 896 00:39:24,321 --> 00:39:26,072 Okay, make yourself at home. 897 00:39:26,073 --> 00:39:27,823 Uh, do you guys want anything to drink? 898 00:39:27,824 --> 00:39:29,158 Kombucha, coffee, tea? 899 00:39:29,159 --> 00:39:31,327 Yes, yes, kombucha would be great. 900 00:39:31,328 --> 00:39:32,578 I don't have it. You called my bluff. 901 00:39:32,579 --> 00:39:34,288 I don't have kombucha. I'm sorry. 902 00:39:34,289 --> 00:39:35,956 - No, water would be brilliant. - Water is gonna be great. 903 00:39:35,957 --> 00:39:37,249 - Thank you, Andre. - Fantastic. 904 00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:38,667 And you? You want some water? 905 00:39:38,668 --> 00:39:40,127 I'm not putting my mouth on a cup of this house. 906 00:39:40,128 --> 00:39:41,545 Nice, nice. 907 00:39:41,546 --> 00:39:44,924 Jesus Christ, you actually live here? 908 00:39:44,925 --> 00:39:46,926 Yeah, my little slice of heaven. 909 00:39:46,927 --> 00:39:49,386 Ugh. What was that? 910 00:39:49,387 --> 00:39:51,138 - I said, ugh. - I love it. 911 00:39:51,139 --> 00:39:53,933 It's actually really charming. Thank you. 912 00:39:53,934 --> 00:39:55,351 You know, my mom and I are kind of always 913 00:39:55,352 --> 00:39:56,769 messing with the motif in here. 914 00:39:56,770 --> 00:39:58,562 Went through a huge Southwestern phase. 915 00:39:58,563 --> 00:40:00,314 So much turquoise. 916 00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:03,192 So your mom helped you decorate? 917 00:40:03,193 --> 00:40:05,277 Oh, yeah, big-time. She's my roommate. 918 00:40:06,863 --> 00:40:08,823 - She's right there. - You gotta be shitting me. 919 00:40:08,824 --> 00:40:10,324 No, no, no, don't be afraid. 920 00:40:10,325 --> 00:40:11,909 Don't be afraid. Watch this. 921 00:40:11,910 --> 00:40:13,119 You want to meet her? No, I don't have to. 922 00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:14,703 Here we go. Mom, you're okay? 923 00:40:14,704 --> 00:40:16,665 Your mouth was open real wide. Oh, my God. 924 00:40:18,708 --> 00:40:21,252 - Oh, my. Oh, my. - Don't charge me. 925 00:40:21,253 --> 00:40:23,420 Oh, my God. Fix your bra. 926 00:40:23,421 --> 00:40:28,217 It's... it's Kevin Hart, America's treasure. 927 00:40:28,218 --> 00:40:29,802 It's a family... No, you don't have to... 928 00:40:29,803 --> 00:40:31,220 Oh! 929 00:40:31,221 --> 00:40:33,556 And... and Jordan King. 930 00:40:33,557 --> 00:40:35,349 Or should I call you Wheezy? 931 00:40:35,350 --> 00:40:37,184 No, that's just a role 932 00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:39,186 I'm not paid nearly enough to play. 933 00:40:39,187 --> 00:40:40,604 Uh, "Jordan" is fine. 934 00:40:40,605 --> 00:40:42,565 Come here. I gotta squeeze ya. 935 00:40:42,566 --> 00:40:44,400 Come here. Oh! 936 00:40:44,401 --> 00:40:47,153 You two gotta eat. We're gonna have a feast. 937 00:40:47,154 --> 00:40:48,571 Andre, go to the freezer. 938 00:40:48,572 --> 00:40:50,281 We're gonna defrost the Christmas pork chop. 939 00:40:50,282 --> 00:40:52,324 We're doing the Christmas pork chops? 940 00:40:52,325 --> 00:40:53,742 We've been waiting for this for, like, six years. 941 00:40:53,743 --> 00:40:55,578 I don't think we have that much time. 942 00:40:55,579 --> 00:40:57,329 You don't have to do that. We don't want to steal your meat. 943 00:40:57,330 --> 00:40:58,581 - We have plenty of time. - You gotta save that meat. 944 00:40:58,582 --> 00:40:59,999 You're eating my meat. 945 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,542 Tell him, mom. Tell him! 946 00:41:01,543 --> 00:41:03,002 - No, no, no, no. - You're gonna want my meat. 947 00:41:03,003 --> 00:41:04,295 No, we don't want your meat. 948 00:41:04,296 --> 00:41:05,671 People talk about it all the time. 949 00:41:05,672 --> 00:41:07,256 - Well, we don't... - Did you hurt yourself? 950 00:41:07,257 --> 00:41:08,507 - This is not... - Did you know there was... 951 00:41:08,508 --> 00:41:10,509 Ah, shit, woman! 952 00:41:10,510 --> 00:41:12,595 Did you know there was blood there? 953 00:41:12,596 --> 00:41:14,889 - Yeah... Ow, ow! - And up here? 954 00:41:14,890 --> 00:41:17,141 - Stop. - God, you are Kevin Hart. 955 00:41:17,142 --> 00:41:19,643 You can't walk around with bloody clothes on. 956 00:41:19,644 --> 00:41:21,937 You're too sophisticated. Take your shirt off. 957 00:41:21,938 --> 00:41:23,314 - Come on, I'm gonna wash it. - That's alright. 958 00:41:23,315 --> 00:41:25,024 I'm already doing a bloody load. 959 00:41:25,025 --> 00:41:26,734 Come on, take it off. Come on. 960 00:41:26,735 --> 00:41:28,068 Take it off, Kevin. What are we doing? 961 00:41:28,069 --> 00:41:29,695 Yeah. Come on. 962 00:41:29,696 --> 00:41:30,988 - So nice of you. - Somebody's got a cute tummy. 963 00:41:32,616 --> 00:41:34,200 - Come on, that's a lie. - Mom, look at him. 964 00:41:34,201 --> 00:41:35,492 Remember, I was telling you about his belly button? 965 00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:36,702 It's right there, mom. You got it. 966 00:41:36,703 --> 00:41:38,204 Take my chance. 967 00:41:38,205 --> 00:41:40,331 Oh, god. Let me just... Please, let me get it. 968 00:41:40,332 --> 00:41:42,249 Stop it, please. Oh my goodness. 969 00:41:42,250 --> 00:41:44,251 - Thank you. You got... - Oh, that's... 970 00:41:44,252 --> 00:41:46,503 - You gotta be kidding me. - Well, that hit my eyes. 971 00:41:46,504 --> 00:41:48,756 That is... that is... 972 00:41:48,757 --> 00:41:50,633 - That's a man right there. - Yeah, we were filming. 973 00:41:50,634 --> 00:41:52,259 - That is good. - We're doing an improv action... 974 00:41:52,260 --> 00:41:53,928 I can't believe he's in our house. I love you so much. 975 00:41:53,929 --> 00:41:56,009 ...movie where basically all of the action... 976 00:41:58,058 --> 00:42:00,309 - Such nice people. - Nice people? 977 00:42:00,310 --> 00:42:02,186 - Who? - You're so mean. 978 00:42:02,187 --> 00:42:04,438 How can you be mean to this guy? Look at him. 979 00:42:04,439 --> 00:42:08,901 He might be the nicest, sweetest person I've ever encountered. 980 00:42:08,902 --> 00:42:11,528 How could you fire him? 981 00:42:11,529 --> 00:42:12,988 You want me to start at the beginning? I don't know. 982 00:42:12,989 --> 00:42:15,491 Maybe because he doesn't respect boundaries. 983 00:42:15,492 --> 00:42:18,911 - He cares about you. - Oh, you just stop it. 984 00:42:18,912 --> 00:42:21,164 The man clipped my goddamn toenails one time... 985 00:42:22,624 --> 00:42:25,502 while I was in bed... with a woman. 986 00:42:27,045 --> 00:42:30,506 Exactly. Struggling, by the way, to perform. 987 00:42:30,507 --> 00:42:33,384 Had a lot on my mind, a lot on my mind. 988 00:42:33,385 --> 00:42:35,219 Brown gummy worm was in full effect. 989 00:42:35,220 --> 00:42:36,971 - I don't want to know this. - Loose noodle. 990 00:42:36,972 --> 00:42:38,514 Call it what you want. I looked down. 991 00:42:38,515 --> 00:42:40,724 I see his face looking up at me. Now I got no shot. 992 00:42:40,725 --> 00:42:43,352 Okay, thank you for the context. 993 00:42:43,353 --> 00:42:45,604 Just giving you... giving you a play-by-play. 994 00:42:45,605 --> 00:42:50,609 But listen, when I go to set, it's me acting, right? 995 00:42:50,610 --> 00:42:55,823 But to get there, I've got reps, my dialect coach, my assistant. 996 00:42:55,824 --> 00:42:57,449 And then there's personal trainer, 997 00:42:57,450 --> 00:43:00,828 hair stylists, makeup artists. The... the list goes on. 998 00:43:00,829 --> 00:43:04,331 And then there's family and friends who have supported me 999 00:43:04,332 --> 00:43:06,750 and sacrificed for me. 1000 00:43:06,751 --> 00:43:08,335 I'm sorry. I got lost in what you were saying 1001 00:43:08,336 --> 00:43:09,878 'cause I felt it was bullshit. 1002 00:43:09,879 --> 00:43:12,506 You have that, too, Kevin, and then some, okay? 1003 00:43:12,507 --> 00:43:13,924 It's why you're a star. 1004 00:43:13,925 --> 00:43:15,467 No, that's not true. 1005 00:43:15,468 --> 00:43:19,221 I'm a star because I made myself a star with this. 1006 00:43:19,222 --> 00:43:22,641 Sure, yeah, that's the story you keep telling yourself, 1007 00:43:22,642 --> 00:43:24,143 but you had help. 1008 00:43:24,144 --> 00:43:26,228 Okay. 1009 00:43:26,229 --> 00:43:27,980 Hey, how are you guys doing? 1010 00:43:27,981 --> 00:43:29,940 The pork chops are smelling 1011 00:43:29,941 --> 00:43:32,192 so much like shrimp right now, it's amazing. 1012 00:43:32,193 --> 00:43:33,569 I got you a shirt, my man. 1013 00:43:33,570 --> 00:43:35,863 I think it'll fit perfectly, okay? 1014 00:43:35,864 --> 00:43:37,531 Do you see it? Nice. 1015 00:43:37,532 --> 00:43:39,158 Yeah, I made that myself. 1016 00:43:39,159 --> 00:43:41,369 Okay, thank you for that. 1017 00:43:43,246 --> 00:43:45,998 Ah, I wanted to ask you earlier, but I didn't get a chance to. 1018 00:43:45,999 --> 00:43:47,541 Who's... who's that? 1019 00:43:47,542 --> 00:43:49,001 - This one? - Yeah. 1020 00:43:49,002 --> 00:43:51,546 That's my dad. He's been gone a long time. 1021 00:43:53,173 --> 00:43:54,465 - Really? - Yeah. 1022 00:43:54,466 --> 00:43:56,216 Same. 1023 00:43:56,217 --> 00:43:57,551 Hey, you know, my mom raised me. 1024 00:43:57,552 --> 00:43:59,470 I know. 1025 00:43:59,471 --> 00:44:02,014 Did your dad, uh, get a little afraid 1026 00:44:02,015 --> 00:44:03,849 of parenthood and run off? 1027 00:44:03,850 --> 00:44:05,225 It wasn't anything like that, actually. 1028 00:44:05,226 --> 00:44:07,311 He was amazing. He was kind. 1029 00:44:07,312 --> 00:44:08,771 Uh, he was gentle. 1030 00:44:08,772 --> 00:44:11,523 By the way, Richard Pryor's assistant. 1031 00:44:11,524 --> 00:44:13,275 Your dad is Rich... 1032 00:44:13,276 --> 00:44:14,568 I guess you could say assisting 1033 00:44:14,569 --> 00:44:15,903 just runs in the family, right? 1034 00:44:15,904 --> 00:44:17,696 Wow. That's legendary, man. 1035 00:44:17,697 --> 00:44:19,281 - It is, right? - That's huge. 1036 00:44:19,282 --> 00:44:21,992 It's huge, until it killed him. 1037 00:44:21,993 --> 00:44:23,869 What do you mean? 1038 00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:28,082 It's a big show, and crazy fan got through security. 1039 00:44:28,083 --> 00:44:31,210 So my dad jumped in the way of a knife 1040 00:44:31,211 --> 00:44:32,711 that was meant for Richard Pryor. 1041 00:44:32,712 --> 00:44:34,630 You're playing. No. 1042 00:44:34,631 --> 00:44:36,090 - Cut him from the stomach... - What? 1043 00:44:36,091 --> 00:44:37,508 Right up, back down. 1044 00:44:37,509 --> 00:44:39,009 - What? - Killed my dad on the spot. 1045 00:44:39,010 --> 00:44:41,011 Oh, my God, man. 1046 00:44:41,012 --> 00:44:42,805 I can't. I can't process that. 1047 00:44:42,806 --> 00:44:44,807 Neither could I. It was enormous for our whole family. 1048 00:44:44,808 --> 00:44:47,519 Why would somebody want to kill Richard Pryor? 1049 00:44:48,978 --> 00:44:50,729 Huh? 1050 00:44:50,730 --> 00:44:53,315 Who? Well, yeah, why? 1051 00:44:53,316 --> 00:44:55,317 That's crazy, right? 1052 00:44:55,318 --> 00:44:56,944 Yeah. I bet, by the way... 1053 00:44:56,945 --> 00:44:58,946 I bet my dad, when he was dying, was looking up 1054 00:44:58,947 --> 00:45:01,281 and was like, Why would you do this, or something like that. 1055 00:45:01,282 --> 00:45:03,367 - Has to be, right? - Maybe, maybe. Maybe not. 1056 00:45:03,368 --> 00:45:04,993 I mean, at that point, that's not what's important. 1057 00:45:04,994 --> 00:45:06,203 Somebody tried to kill Richard. 1058 00:45:06,204 --> 00:45:07,579 Right, my dad was already dead. 1059 00:45:07,580 --> 00:45:08,956 The thing we gotta worry about is... 1060 00:45:08,957 --> 00:45:10,249 - Who is this guy? - God's gonna do... 1061 00:45:10,250 --> 00:45:11,583 Are there more of 'em? Yeah. 1062 00:45:11,584 --> 00:45:13,293 - Okay? You can't rewrite that. - No. 1063 00:45:13,294 --> 00:45:14,837 No, we can't. I tried to. 1064 00:45:14,838 --> 00:45:16,547 God, I've been to so much therapy 1065 00:45:16,548 --> 00:45:19,049 trying to rewrite that moment. What could I have done? 1066 00:45:19,050 --> 00:45:20,843 I was a child, but maybe I could have jumped in the way, 1067 00:45:20,844 --> 00:45:23,554 or something like that. Yeah. 1068 00:45:23,555 --> 00:45:25,514 On the bright side, though, if you think about it, 1069 00:45:25,515 --> 00:45:29,268 he died doing what he loved the most, assisting. 1070 00:45:29,269 --> 00:45:31,520 He was so happy that he brought joy 1071 00:45:31,521 --> 00:45:35,315 to someone who brought joy to so many people. 1072 00:45:35,316 --> 00:45:37,277 He taught me every single thing I knew. 1073 00:45:40,405 --> 00:45:42,865 You know, man, maybe... 1074 00:45:42,866 --> 00:45:45,534 Maybe I didn't mean to fire you. 1075 00:45:45,535 --> 00:45:49,455 I think your exact words were, I didn't need a stunt man. 1076 00:45:49,456 --> 00:45:51,832 I sure as hell don't need an assistant. 1077 00:45:51,833 --> 00:45:53,459 You said it to me. You yelled it. 1078 00:45:53,460 --> 00:45:56,712 And then you told me to get out of your car, right? 1079 00:45:56,713 --> 00:45:58,881 Oh, no, you're absolutely... You're... you're right. 1080 00:45:58,882 --> 00:46:01,133 But I'm just saying, now, looking back, 1081 00:46:01,134 --> 00:46:03,719 I'm saying, maybe I do... 1082 00:46:03,720 --> 00:46:07,806 Maybe I still do need an assistant. 1083 00:46:07,807 --> 00:46:09,767 Oh, God. Alright? 1084 00:46:11,227 --> 00:46:12,895 - I need you, too. - No... 1085 00:46:12,896 --> 00:46:15,439 - I need you, too. - Not the same. 1086 00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:17,900 - Oh, fuck. - Yeah. 1087 00:46:17,901 --> 00:46:19,902 I have never been this hard. 1088 00:46:19,903 --> 00:46:21,361 Alright, I'm gonna tell my mom. 1089 00:46:21,362 --> 00:46:23,530 Mom, you'll never believe it! 1090 00:46:23,531 --> 00:46:25,033 Congratulations. 1091 00:46:27,410 --> 00:46:28,995 Something else, huh? 1092 00:46:35,001 --> 00:46:36,544 - I'm proud of you. - Shut up. 1093 00:46:38,630 --> 00:46:40,255 You know, if you start treating everyone 1094 00:46:40,256 --> 00:46:42,382 in the Kevin Hart universe with that level of respect, 1095 00:46:42,383 --> 00:46:45,135 I think you'll be happy with your life. 1096 00:46:45,136 --> 00:46:47,012 You really are something else. 1097 00:46:47,013 --> 00:46:48,931 I mean, you paint me out to be such a monster. 1098 00:46:48,932 --> 00:46:52,684 Name one other person that I have disrespected, just one. 1099 00:46:52,685 --> 00:46:54,145 Give me one. 1100 00:46:56,022 --> 00:46:57,857 I can absolutely name someone. 1101 00:47:01,945 --> 00:47:03,362 - Hey, Jordan. - Yeah, hi. 1102 00:47:03,363 --> 00:47:04,863 I just looked at the call sheet. 1103 00:47:04,864 --> 00:47:06,240 I didn't see your stunt double on there. 1104 00:47:06,241 --> 00:47:08,659 - Oh, I sent her home. - Why? 1105 00:47:08,660 --> 00:47:10,911 Well, I grew up on motorcycles, and it's a simple one today. 1106 00:47:10,912 --> 00:47:12,454 I just have to drive through the glass 1107 00:47:12,455 --> 00:47:13,872 of a dry-cleaning business before it explodes. 1108 00:47:13,873 --> 00:47:15,832 Hold on, hold on, hold on. 1109 00:47:15,833 --> 00:47:19,002 Simple for who? Who? Who's it simple for, you? 1110 00:47:19,003 --> 00:47:20,963 Well, that's what you have Doug for? 1111 00:47:20,964 --> 00:47:22,422 Do you know what this would look like if you go 1112 00:47:22,423 --> 00:47:24,466 do all your own stunts and I don't do mine? 1113 00:47:24,467 --> 00:47:26,385 Do you know what people will think of me? 1114 00:47:26,386 --> 00:47:28,303 Uh, they'll think you're an actor? 1115 00:47:28,304 --> 00:47:29,846 And listen, I'm not jumping off the cliff. 1116 00:47:29,847 --> 00:47:31,306 I'm not jumping out of a plane, 1117 00:47:31,307 --> 00:47:32,724 and I ain't fighting no alligator for anyone. 1118 00:47:32,725 --> 00:47:34,351 You don't think I can do my own stunts. 1119 00:47:34,352 --> 00:47:35,978 You don't think I'm tough enough? 1120 00:47:35,979 --> 00:47:38,689 That's what Doug is for, for exactly this thing. 1121 00:47:38,690 --> 00:47:40,649 You think I need Doug? 1122 00:47:40,650 --> 00:47:42,401 Absolutely. 1123 00:47:42,402 --> 00:47:43,944 Maybe I don't. 1124 00:47:43,945 --> 00:47:45,613 Maybe I don't need Doug. 1125 00:47:47,365 --> 00:47:48,783 I think he just heard you. 1126 00:47:52,287 --> 00:47:54,454 Hey, Doug. 1127 00:47:54,455 --> 00:47:56,040 I'm gonna go talk to Doug. 1128 00:47:57,584 --> 00:47:58,792 Kevin. 1129 00:47:58,793 --> 00:48:02,421 Hey, there he is, my guy. 1130 00:48:02,422 --> 00:48:04,339 Ooh, ooh, ooh! 1131 00:48:04,340 --> 00:48:07,718 You ain't gonna believe this shit. 1132 00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:09,303 I'm talking to Jordan. 1133 00:48:09,304 --> 00:48:11,305 I just found out Jordan sent her stunt double home. 1134 00:48:11,306 --> 00:48:12,723 You know what she trying to do. 1135 00:48:12,724 --> 00:48:14,433 You know exactly what she trying to do. 1136 00:48:14,434 --> 00:48:16,351 She trying to show me up, and I'm not gonna have that. 1137 00:48:16,352 --> 00:48:19,062 I can't have that. I'm Kevin Hart, right? 1138 00:48:21,232 --> 00:48:23,233 So, here's the thing, right? 1139 00:48:23,234 --> 00:48:25,068 Let's get into this relationship 1140 00:48:25,069 --> 00:48:26,570 'cause it's one of the best that I've ever had. 1141 00:48:26,571 --> 00:48:28,238 How long you been with me, man? 1142 00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:29,656 Damn, that long, huh? 1143 00:48:29,657 --> 00:48:31,533 It's been a long time. 1144 00:48:31,534 --> 00:48:32,909 I know you gonna be fine, 1145 00:48:32,910 --> 00:48:34,453 and it's time for you to fly, right? 1146 00:48:34,454 --> 00:48:38,040 So with that being said, uh, we're done. 1147 00:48:38,041 --> 00:48:40,042 I... I'm gonna go ahead and... 1148 00:48:40,043 --> 00:48:43,128 Is "fired" the word, I guess? I guess it is "fired." 1149 00:48:43,129 --> 00:48:45,047 So I'mma fire you, but in a, 1150 00:48:45,048 --> 00:48:48,091 but in a dope way to where we still cool. 1151 00:48:48,092 --> 00:48:49,927 I... I'm gonna go on and get ready. 1152 00:48:51,554 --> 00:48:53,180 My guy! 1153 00:48:53,181 --> 00:48:55,557 - It's stunt time. - Kevin, this is a terrible... 1154 00:48:55,558 --> 00:48:57,476 It's stunt time! 1155 00:48:57,477 --> 00:48:59,353 Listen, I'm not trying to show you up. 1156 00:48:59,354 --> 00:49:01,521 Hey! Enough, Jordan. 1157 00:49:01,522 --> 00:49:04,901 It's all good, Mr. Action Star. 1158 00:49:09,781 --> 00:49:11,740 Now, you listen to me, alright? 1159 00:49:11,741 --> 00:49:13,700 I've been in this business for goddamn... 1160 00:49:13,701 --> 00:49:15,577 goddamn, how long? 1161 00:49:15,578 --> 00:49:17,245 How long? 1162 00:49:17,246 --> 00:49:19,373 You telling me that my goddamn reputation 1163 00:49:19,374 --> 00:49:21,500 doesn't speak for myself? 1164 00:49:21,501 --> 00:49:23,086 It fucking should! 1165 00:49:25,046 --> 00:49:27,130 When... when does Cap Four shoot? 1166 00:49:27,131 --> 00:49:29,299 Does Mackie have a guy? 1167 00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:30,884 He does. He gets it. 1168 00:49:30,885 --> 00:49:32,552 Everybody's got a fucking guy, huh? 1169 00:49:32,553 --> 00:49:36,098 What about Adam Driver? Now, you said he's billed. Huh? 1170 00:49:36,099 --> 00:49:38,016 Listen, I can do work for him. 1171 00:49:38,017 --> 00:49:41,103 I... I can be Adam's driver, right? 1172 00:49:41,104 --> 00:49:43,146 Yeah, no, listen, I'm serious about that. 1173 00:49:43,147 --> 00:49:45,899 I don't give a fuck. I'll drive. 1174 00:49:45,900 --> 00:49:49,611 I... I'll be Adam's driver driver driver if I have to. 1175 00:49:49,612 --> 00:49:52,531 God damn it Scott! Fuck you! 1176 00:49:52,532 --> 00:49:55,367 I've been in the goddamn business for years. 1177 00:50:30,945 --> 00:50:32,446 You know what? 1178 00:50:32,447 --> 00:50:34,448 This is my me time. I really enjoy working. 1179 00:50:34,449 --> 00:50:37,367 I find a lot of peace, happiness, 1180 00:50:37,368 --> 00:50:40,203 and, uh, solace in creating. 1181 00:50:40,204 --> 00:50:43,498 And now my creating is about putting other people 1182 00:50:43,499 --> 00:50:46,877 in positions to win, um, amplifying other careers 1183 00:50:46,878 --> 00:50:48,378 and opportunities, not just me. 1184 00:50:48,379 --> 00:50:50,797 So, hopefully, it continues to grow. 1185 00:50:50,798 --> 00:50:52,132 I can't believe that my stuntman 1186 00:50:52,133 --> 00:50:53,800 would do this to me. 1187 00:50:53,801 --> 00:50:55,302 Ex-stuntman. 1188 00:50:55,303 --> 00:50:58,180 No, I gotta do something about this... Oh. 1189 00:50:58,181 --> 00:50:59,514 Oh, whoa, whoa, Kevin. 1190 00:50:59,515 --> 00:51:01,933 Uh-oh. Oh, no. Let mom look at this. 1191 00:51:01,934 --> 00:51:03,310 Hold on. Oh. 1192 00:51:03,311 --> 00:51:04,811 Oh, we gotta change this dressing. 1193 00:51:04,812 --> 00:51:06,104 Take him to the bedroom. 1194 00:51:06,105 --> 00:51:07,522 - Prop him up. - Here we go. 1195 00:51:07,523 --> 00:51:08,940 - Get some wet towels. - Here we go. 1196 00:51:08,941 --> 00:51:10,400 Shouldn't he go to a hospital? 1197 00:51:10,401 --> 00:51:12,277 No. I'll get him back on track. 1198 00:51:12,278 --> 00:51:14,196 It's what I do. 1199 00:51:14,197 --> 00:51:15,781 Wait, you're a doctor? 1200 00:51:15,782 --> 00:51:17,616 I'm better than a doctor. 1201 00:51:17,617 --> 00:51:19,743 I'm a mom. 1202 00:51:19,744 --> 00:51:21,328 Left, right, left, right. 1203 00:51:23,498 --> 00:51:24,831 He's gonna be fine. 1204 00:51:24,832 --> 00:51:27,083 My mom is a miracle-worker. 1205 00:51:27,084 --> 00:51:28,835 How about you? Are you okay? 1206 00:51:28,836 --> 00:51:31,838 Uh... Well, not really. This is my problem, too. 1207 00:51:31,839 --> 00:51:34,633 Doug probably blames me for losing his job. 1208 00:51:34,634 --> 00:51:37,093 That's why he's put me in this deadly little game of his, 1209 00:51:37,094 --> 00:51:38,470 just for payback. 1210 00:51:38,471 --> 00:51:40,305 Yeah. Okay, that's fine, then. 1211 00:51:40,306 --> 00:51:41,932 When Kevin gets back to full health, 1212 00:51:41,933 --> 00:51:43,892 he will think of an incredible plan for all of us. 1213 00:51:43,893 --> 00:51:45,727 No, no, fuck that. We can't just sit here. 1214 00:51:45,728 --> 00:51:48,480 We need to do something. We need to get to the bottom of this. 1215 00:51:48,481 --> 00:51:50,273 Who is the person Kevin trusts the most? 1216 00:51:50,274 --> 00:51:51,942 - His agent. - Really? 1217 00:51:51,943 --> 00:51:53,860 Yeah. 1218 00:51:53,861 --> 00:51:55,529 Let's pay them a visit. 1219 00:51:55,530 --> 00:51:57,364 Right now? We can't go right now. 1220 00:51:57,365 --> 00:51:59,866 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Jordan, we can't go right now. 1221 00:51:59,867 --> 00:52:01,284 But what about this? What about this? 1222 00:52:01,285 --> 00:52:02,828 You're famous, Jordan. You get in there, 1223 00:52:02,829 --> 00:52:04,663 they're gonna recognize you. That's a problem. 1224 00:52:04,664 --> 00:52:07,791 Second is, Doug actually thinks that you're dead, right? 1225 00:52:07,792 --> 00:52:10,044 - You blew up. - Shit, you're right. 1226 00:52:11,754 --> 00:52:13,463 Oh, my God, I just thought of something amazing. 1227 00:52:13,464 --> 00:52:15,715 Thank me. Thank me now. 1228 00:52:15,716 --> 00:52:17,050 Let me hear it first? 1229 00:52:17,051 --> 00:52:18,468 Smart. That's a smart move, okay? 1230 00:52:18,469 --> 00:52:20,136 In the back, there's a disguise. 1231 00:52:20,137 --> 00:52:21,596 I always keep a spare disguise for Kevin in the back. 1232 00:52:21,597 --> 00:52:23,056 Grab that bag real quick. 1233 00:52:23,057 --> 00:52:25,809 - You have spare disguises? - Yes. 1234 00:52:25,810 --> 00:52:28,812 I mean, sometimes Kevin likes to live anonymously, right? 1235 00:52:28,813 --> 00:52:31,982 Whether he wants to go grocery shopping, feed the ducks, 1236 00:52:31,983 --> 00:52:33,568 heckle a stranger. 1237 00:52:35,486 --> 00:52:39,072 Yeah, I'm not wearing this. 1238 00:52:39,073 --> 00:52:41,324 Come on. Did you see all of them real quick? 1239 00:52:41,325 --> 00:52:43,118 Like this one right here, okay? This one right here... 1240 00:52:43,119 --> 00:52:44,911 - Andre, the road! - I'm doing it. 1241 00:52:44,912 --> 00:52:46,580 It's a hard left with my knees, baby. 1242 00:52:46,581 --> 00:52:48,290 Look at this. 1243 00:52:54,714 --> 00:52:57,340 This is so embarrassing. 1244 00:52:57,341 --> 00:52:59,342 We're lucky that you and Kevin are the same size, 1245 00:52:59,343 --> 00:53:01,011 you know what I mean? 1246 00:53:01,012 --> 00:53:03,221 Think about this as your greatest acting role to date. 1247 00:53:03,222 --> 00:53:05,224 You got this. You got this! 1248 00:53:08,102 --> 00:53:09,519 That's fantastic. Okay, and... 1249 00:53:11,397 --> 00:53:15,525 Uh, we're here to see, ahem, Scott Hayman. 1250 00:53:15,526 --> 00:53:16,861 Okay. 1251 00:53:19,113 --> 00:53:20,989 And you are? 1252 00:53:20,990 --> 00:53:23,867 Ronald Mondolvia III! 1253 00:53:23,868 --> 00:53:25,785 A pleasure to meet you. 1254 00:53:25,786 --> 00:53:28,080 And this is the wickedly talented... 1255 00:53:29,707 --> 00:53:31,751 Bill. My name is Bill. 1256 00:53:33,836 --> 00:53:36,713 Bill Mondolvia. We're both Mondolvians. 1257 00:53:36,714 --> 00:53:40,425 This is my uncle on my mama's side. 1258 00:53:40,426 --> 00:53:43,137 Shit-fuck, can this man cook a goose. 1259 00:53:47,224 --> 00:53:48,558 What was all that before? 1260 00:53:48,559 --> 00:53:50,268 Mondolvia... That's nobody's surname. 1261 00:53:50,269 --> 00:53:51,853 What do you expect, okay? 1262 00:53:51,854 --> 00:53:54,648 I couldn't concentrate. Your accent was fucking insane. 1263 00:53:54,649 --> 00:53:57,567 - My accent? - Yes. "Blah, blah, blah." 1264 00:53:57,568 --> 00:53:59,778 Okay, it wasn't great, but I mean... 1265 00:53:59,779 --> 00:54:01,404 - My accent? I nailed my accent. - It doesn't matter. 1266 00:54:01,405 --> 00:54:03,114 It doesn't matter, because there's no way 1267 00:54:03,115 --> 00:54:05,575 they're letting us go back to see Kevin's agent, okay? 1268 00:54:05,576 --> 00:54:07,077 They've probably already called security. 1269 00:54:07,078 --> 00:54:08,787 So if security comes, 1270 00:54:08,788 --> 00:54:11,081 we just pretend to be Ronald and Bill Mondolvia, 1271 00:54:11,082 --> 00:54:13,083 the very famous Instagram influencers 1272 00:54:13,084 --> 00:54:14,834 who make unboxing videos. 1273 00:54:14,835 --> 00:54:16,294 What is this? 1274 00:54:16,295 --> 00:54:17,796 We unbox it, and it's a smaller box, okay? 1275 00:54:17,797 --> 00:54:20,215 No, no, no. She's going to the loo. 1276 00:54:20,216 --> 00:54:22,008 I don't think that Bill would call it the loo. 1277 00:54:22,009 --> 00:54:23,510 I feel like he's more old-school. 1278 00:54:23,511 --> 00:54:25,388 I feel like she's about to take a shit. 1279 00:54:27,682 --> 00:54:29,016 Play it cool. 1280 00:54:30,685 --> 00:54:32,478 Like and subscribe, please! 1281 00:54:35,189 --> 00:54:37,107 Stop, stop, stop. Right there, right there. 1282 00:54:37,108 --> 00:54:39,067 Right there, that's Kevin's agent. 1283 00:54:39,068 --> 00:54:40,777 Who is he talking to? 1284 00:54:42,738 --> 00:54:44,906 How are you doing, man? 1285 00:54:44,907 --> 00:54:46,866 It's not Kevin. 1286 00:54:52,623 --> 00:54:54,958 Try not to move. 1287 00:54:54,959 --> 00:54:57,085 Mr. Kevin Hart needs to regain his strength. 1288 00:54:58,671 --> 00:55:04,509 As long as it takes, you'll be here in my house, 1289 00:55:04,510 --> 00:55:09,973 listening to my stories, eating my Christmas pork chops. 1290 00:55:16,230 --> 00:55:20,984 When my husband was wounded years ago, I couldn't save him, 1291 00:55:20,985 --> 00:55:24,112 but now I've got a second chance with you, 1292 00:55:24,113 --> 00:55:27,283 Kevin Hart, America's treasure. 1293 00:55:29,577 --> 00:55:31,202 Cynthia's treasure. 1294 00:55:35,332 --> 00:55:36,458 Hello? 1295 00:55:36,459 --> 00:55:38,001 Mom, mom, put Kevin on. 1296 00:55:38,002 --> 00:55:39,669 I can't. He's sleeping. 1297 00:55:39,670 --> 00:55:41,296 It's an emergency. Put him on right now, mom. 1298 00:55:41,297 --> 00:55:43,381 Come on, wake him up. 1299 00:55:43,382 --> 00:55:45,091 Hello? 1300 00:55:45,092 --> 00:55:47,385 Are you here to rescue me? I think I've been poisoned. 1301 00:55:47,386 --> 00:55:49,220 Kevin, listen up very closely, okay? 1302 00:55:49,221 --> 00:55:50,764 We've just been on a deep-cover 1303 00:55:50,765 --> 00:55:52,432 reconnaissance mission, and we fucking nailed it. 1304 00:55:52,433 --> 00:55:54,392 Doug is you. You've been replaced by Doug. 1305 00:55:54,393 --> 00:55:56,770 Wait, what? Replaced? I don't understand. 1306 00:55:56,771 --> 00:55:58,354 That's because my mommy just gave you 1307 00:55:58,355 --> 00:56:00,690 a very low-dose narcotic. Don't worry about it. 1308 00:56:00,691 --> 00:56:02,984 But when you come to, you have to understand 1309 00:56:02,985 --> 00:56:05,528 that Doug is trying to convince people that he's you. 1310 00:56:05,529 --> 00:56:07,363 He's fixed his teeth. He's changed his hair. 1311 00:56:07,364 --> 00:56:11,618 I mean, his mannerisms... Oh, my God, he's... he's you. 1312 00:56:11,619 --> 00:56:13,912 Yeah, well, he can't fool my staff. 1313 00:56:13,913 --> 00:56:15,497 They'll know it's not me. 1314 00:56:15,498 --> 00:56:17,165 They're my village. 1315 00:56:18,918 --> 00:56:22,420 You get a raise. You get a raise. 1316 00:56:22,421 --> 00:56:23,797 You get a raise. 1317 00:56:23,798 --> 00:56:26,382 That's right, everybody gets a raise, huh? 1318 00:56:26,383 --> 00:56:28,551 You know why? 'Cause I'm Kevin. 1319 00:56:28,552 --> 00:56:30,595 I'm Kevin! 1320 00:56:30,596 --> 00:56:32,514 Sorry, Kevin is suddenly very tired. 1321 00:56:32,515 --> 00:56:34,099 He needs his rest. No, no, no, no. 1322 00:56:34,100 --> 00:56:35,433 Mom, no... Bye. 1323 00:56:41,607 --> 00:56:43,733 If Kevin wants to get through to Doug, 1324 00:56:43,734 --> 00:56:48,279 there's only one man he can talk to, Mr. 206. 1325 00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:50,156 I don't... Who's... who's Mr. 206? 1326 00:56:50,157 --> 00:56:51,741 He's a pretty famous stuntman, 1327 00:56:51,742 --> 00:56:53,409 and he's Doug's mentor. 1328 00:56:53,410 --> 00:56:55,745 Okay. Okay, fine, then this is easy. 1329 00:56:55,746 --> 00:56:57,831 We just take Kevin to see Mr. 206. 1330 00:56:57,832 --> 00:56:59,666 We? Nope, no way. 1331 00:56:59,667 --> 00:57:02,627 I will not be going to see 206. 1332 00:57:02,628 --> 00:57:04,587 He is a complete psychopath. 1333 00:57:04,588 --> 00:57:06,172 He nearly killed me in a stunt rehearsal 1334 00:57:06,173 --> 00:57:07,841 and then tried to make me apologize. 1335 00:57:07,842 --> 00:57:09,551 Jordan, Jordan, Kevin needs you right now. 1336 00:57:09,552 --> 00:57:11,136 - He needs me? - He does, right now. 1337 00:57:11,137 --> 00:57:12,929 Oh, I thought Kevin doesn't need anyone, 1338 00:57:12,930 --> 00:57:15,265 until he needs everyone. 1339 00:57:15,266 --> 00:57:18,893 Okay, fine, then I'll take him to see Mr. 206. 1340 00:57:18,894 --> 00:57:20,353 Why? This is Kevin's problem. 1341 00:57:20,354 --> 00:57:21,896 You should just let him go on his own. 1342 00:57:21,897 --> 00:57:24,899 No. As long as I'm Kevin's assistant... 1343 00:57:26,235 --> 00:57:28,112 he'll never drive himself anywhere. 1344 00:57:31,031 --> 00:57:32,490 - It's in neutral. - I am so sorry. 1345 00:57:32,491 --> 00:57:34,784 We're slowing down. I was trying to go faster. 1346 00:57:34,785 --> 00:57:36,327 We did the opposite. 1347 00:57:49,508 --> 00:57:52,343 I am so happy my mom was able to nurse you back to health. 1348 00:57:52,344 --> 00:57:53,887 What did you just say to me? 1349 00:57:53,888 --> 00:57:56,347 The woman put drugs in my goddamn pork chop. 1350 00:57:56,348 --> 00:57:59,058 - She tried to poison me. - She's amazing, right? 1351 00:57:59,059 --> 00:58:01,853 Look at you now. Okay, come on, come on. 1352 00:58:01,854 --> 00:58:03,855 So tell me, why do they call him 206? 1353 00:58:03,856 --> 00:58:06,149 'Cause there's 206 bones in the human body. 1354 00:58:06,150 --> 00:58:08,067 They say, before he became a mentor in the stunt game, 1355 00:58:08,068 --> 00:58:09,444 that he broke every single one of 'em. 1356 00:58:09,445 --> 00:58:11,029 Actually, no, it was 205. 1357 00:58:11,030 --> 00:58:12,238 But then, on his last day of filming, 1358 00:58:12,239 --> 00:58:13,907 they say he broke the 206th one. 1359 00:58:13,908 --> 00:58:15,366 What? Which one was that? 1360 00:58:15,367 --> 00:58:17,035 Pinky toe, right foot, snapped. 1361 00:58:17,036 --> 00:58:18,369 Goddamn. 1362 00:58:21,874 --> 00:58:24,418 Uh, hello? 1363 00:58:26,462 --> 00:58:28,338 Uh, 206? 1364 00:58:28,339 --> 00:58:30,924 Hey, M... Mr. Two Hundred And Six? 1365 00:58:30,925 --> 00:58:33,343 - It's 2-0-6. - Right. 1366 00:58:33,344 --> 00:58:36,429 Sign says no soliciting. Go away. 1367 00:58:36,430 --> 00:58:38,848 Yeah, no, we... we didn't see a sign. There's no sign. 1368 00:58:38,849 --> 00:58:40,266 Who took my fucking sign? 1369 00:58:40,267 --> 00:58:41,643 We didn't take it. 1370 00:58:41,644 --> 00:58:43,519 Hey, either way, we're not here to solicit. 1371 00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:46,189 We... we're not selling anything. 1372 00:58:46,190 --> 00:58:48,149 You don't even recognize my voice. 1373 00:58:48,150 --> 00:58:49,859 You know who's at the door right now? 1374 00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:53,071 This is Kevin Hart, comedian, actor. 1375 00:58:53,072 --> 00:58:57,992 I just told you... to go... 1376 00:58:57,993 --> 00:58:59,160 Okay, okay, okay, okay. 1377 00:58:59,161 --> 00:59:01,037 The fuck away! 1378 00:59:01,038 --> 00:59:03,373 Hey! Shit! 1379 00:59:03,374 --> 00:59:05,792 Come on, baby, it's me. 1380 00:59:05,793 --> 00:59:07,503 - It's me. - It's Kevin Hart. 1381 00:59:10,256 --> 00:59:11,506 Give me one good reason why I shouldn't 1382 00:59:11,507 --> 00:59:13,341 kill the both of you right now. 1383 00:59:13,342 --> 00:59:14,968 Kevin's about to have a movie that's gonna get him an Oscar. 1384 00:59:14,969 --> 00:59:17,887 Well, okay. Wait, wait, wait. Your protege. 1385 00:59:17,888 --> 00:59:19,764 We're here because of your protege, Doug Eubanks. 1386 00:59:19,765 --> 00:59:21,391 What about him? 1387 00:59:21,392 --> 00:59:24,394 Well, we... we're here 'cause he's losing his shit. 1388 00:59:24,395 --> 00:59:26,104 Yeah, no, he's absolute... 1389 00:59:26,105 --> 00:59:28,731 That's not true, 'cause you don't deserve a lie. 1390 00:59:28,732 --> 00:59:30,108 I'm not here to lie to you. 1391 00:59:30,109 --> 00:59:31,694 I'm gonna be honest with you, man. 1392 00:59:33,070 --> 00:59:34,821 I screwed him over. 1393 00:59:34,822 --> 00:59:36,406 I screwed him over, and I'm here because 1394 00:59:36,407 --> 00:59:37,740 I want to make things right, and I can't do that 1395 00:59:37,741 --> 00:59:40,035 without you, Mr. 206. 1396 00:59:47,626 --> 00:59:49,335 Well, how do you like your tea? 1397 00:59:49,336 --> 00:59:51,212 Huh? 1398 01:00:05,436 --> 01:00:06,978 Do I make you uncomfortable? 1399 01:00:06,979 --> 01:00:08,980 No. I... I'm just so nervous for you, sir, 1400 01:00:08,981 --> 01:00:11,232 because you got really hot tea, and it's just 1401 01:00:11,233 --> 01:00:13,985 right above your balls, so... 1402 01:00:13,986 --> 01:00:17,530 What are you doing? What are you... 1403 01:00:18,824 --> 01:00:20,366 Oh, my God, what the fuck? 1404 01:00:20,367 --> 01:00:21,826 - Oh, man, come on. - What the fuck? 1405 01:00:21,827 --> 01:00:23,036 Come, on man. 1406 01:00:23,037 --> 01:00:24,454 The ancient Babylonians believed 1407 01:00:24,455 --> 01:00:26,415 that undergarments were a sign of weakness. 1408 01:00:28,709 --> 01:00:30,085 I tend to agree. 1409 01:00:31,170 --> 01:00:32,463 I respect that. 1410 01:00:33,839 --> 01:00:35,673 I respect that. 1411 01:00:35,674 --> 01:00:38,092 I just... 1412 01:00:41,638 --> 01:00:44,015 I just want to, I wanna thank you 1413 01:00:44,016 --> 01:00:45,683 for taking the time, 'cause I know you didn't... 1414 01:00:45,684 --> 01:00:47,977 Cut the compliments. Tell me why you're here. 1415 01:00:47,978 --> 01:00:53,399 I, um, I know you're Doug's mentor, right? 1416 01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:54,984 If there's anyone who knows how he operates, 1417 01:00:54,985 --> 01:00:57,528 how he thinks, it's... 1418 01:00:57,529 --> 01:00:59,031 I need your help. 1419 01:01:04,787 --> 01:01:06,330 Watch your eye. Watch your eye. 1420 01:01:11,168 --> 01:01:12,628 Let's walk. 1421 01:01:14,755 --> 01:01:16,955 Doug Eubanks is more than just a former student of mine. 1422 01:01:18,175 --> 01:01:20,469 He's my friend, my confidant. 1423 01:01:22,012 --> 01:01:23,806 Briefly, in 2003, he was my lover. 1424 01:01:25,516 --> 01:01:27,016 Doug is the most fearless stunt performer 1425 01:01:27,017 --> 01:01:29,310 that I've ever trained. 1426 01:01:29,311 --> 01:01:31,604 One time, he asked me to stab him with an ice pick 1427 01:01:31,605 --> 01:01:33,231 'cause he needed to know how it felt so he could 1428 01:01:33,232 --> 01:01:34,899 replicate that reaction when the cameras are rolling. 1429 01:01:34,900 --> 01:01:37,443 - Did you do it? - With pleasure. 1430 01:01:37,444 --> 01:01:39,821 As a stuntman, you embrace pain, 1431 01:01:39,822 --> 01:01:41,406 lay your life on the line for your actor 1432 01:01:41,407 --> 01:01:42,824 every day you step on set. 1433 01:01:42,825 --> 01:01:46,035 And occasionally, an actor says thanks. 1434 01:01:46,036 --> 01:01:48,162 Sometimes they don't say thanks. 1435 01:01:48,163 --> 01:01:49,872 Sometimes they just fire you without warning 'cause 1436 01:01:49,873 --> 01:01:51,666 all of a sudden they think they're John fucking Rambo, 1437 01:01:51,667 --> 01:01:54,293 but they're nothing but a little bitch with a giant ego. 1438 01:01:54,294 --> 01:01:56,254 Yeah, yeah. So, hey, are you gonna talk to him for me? 1439 01:01:58,048 --> 01:01:59,508 Actors talk. 1440 01:02:00,384 --> 01:02:02,678 Stuntmen... stunt. 1441 01:02:04,388 --> 01:02:07,683 You're gonna have to fight Doug, and you're gonna lose. 1442 01:02:09,351 --> 01:02:10,852 Well, shit, then why are you... 1443 01:02:10,853 --> 01:02:12,228 Why are you even talking to me, then? 1444 01:02:12,229 --> 01:02:13,521 Only reason I'm talking to you 1445 01:02:13,522 --> 01:02:15,398 is 'cause every person is trapped 1446 01:02:15,399 --> 01:02:17,358 in a story of their own design, and I know the exact story 1447 01:02:17,359 --> 01:02:18,693 you're trapped in. 1448 01:02:18,694 --> 01:02:19,986 Yeah, it's a revenge story. 1449 01:02:19,987 --> 01:02:21,404 It's not revenge. 1450 01:02:21,405 --> 01:02:23,281 It's redemption. 1451 01:02:23,282 --> 01:02:25,075 No, I'm pretty sure it's revenge. 1452 01:02:26,660 --> 01:02:27,870 What do you really want? 1453 01:02:29,621 --> 01:02:31,622 I want my life back. I want to defeat Doug. 1454 01:02:31,623 --> 01:02:34,083 Defeat Doug? Doug's the enemy. 1455 01:02:34,084 --> 01:02:36,294 Doug's the bad guy? You're the good guy? 1456 01:02:36,295 --> 01:02:37,795 I just want to make sure I'm hearing this right. 1457 01:02:37,796 --> 01:02:40,798 Okay, maybe we're both bad guys. 1458 01:02:40,799 --> 01:02:42,301 No, Kevin. 1459 01:02:44,178 --> 01:02:45,679 You're both good guys. 1460 01:02:50,058 --> 01:02:51,517 Did you hear that? 1461 01:02:51,518 --> 01:02:53,645 Yeah, I'm trying to figure it out. 1462 01:02:55,772 --> 01:02:57,398 He fucked Doug. 1463 01:02:57,399 --> 01:02:59,525 I didn't hear that. What? 1464 01:02:59,526 --> 01:03:00,985 He fucked Doug. 1465 01:03:00,986 --> 01:03:02,778 I didn't catch that. I was... 1466 01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:04,197 Right at the top, he said it. Right over there, he said... 1467 01:03:04,198 --> 01:03:06,032 No. I saw a ladybug. I gotta... 1468 01:03:06,033 --> 01:03:07,575 So that means he's kind of fucked you before. 1469 01:03:07,576 --> 01:03:09,703 No, no. Wait a minute, no, he hasn't. 1470 01:03:13,081 --> 01:03:15,751 This is my dojo. 1471 01:03:18,253 --> 01:03:19,670 Well, it kind of looks like a bunch of trees 1472 01:03:19,671 --> 01:03:21,589 if you ask me, but alright. 1473 01:03:21,590 --> 01:03:24,383 - Goodness gracious. - Excuse me. 1474 01:03:24,384 --> 01:03:25,927 - Sorry. - Coming through. 1475 01:03:25,928 --> 01:03:28,304 - Yep. Yep. Sorry. - Coming through. 1476 01:03:28,305 --> 01:03:29,722 You've really gotta share the trail, guys. 1477 01:03:29,723 --> 01:03:31,349 - It's our fault. - Sorry. 1478 01:03:31,350 --> 01:03:32,808 We didn't even know it was a trail, to be honest. 1479 01:03:32,809 --> 01:03:35,353 I had no idea. 1480 01:03:35,354 --> 01:03:38,231 So this is where you're gonna train me to face Doug, huh? 1481 01:03:38,232 --> 01:03:40,066 Let me explain something to you. 1482 01:03:40,067 --> 01:03:43,402 Stuntman's Creed, be thy actor. 1483 01:03:43,403 --> 01:03:46,280 Every role you ever trained for, Doug trained harder. 1484 01:03:46,281 --> 01:03:48,157 Every martial art you supposedly learn, 1485 01:03:48,158 --> 01:03:49,825 Doug learned it for real. 1486 01:03:49,826 --> 01:03:52,036 He had to, 'cause when the cameras were rolling, 1487 01:03:52,037 --> 01:03:54,497 it was his ass on the line, not yours, sitting 1488 01:03:54,498 --> 01:03:56,457 in video village, sipping lattes, 1489 01:03:56,458 --> 01:03:58,042 eating sushi off of nude models. 1490 01:03:58,043 --> 01:04:00,378 Hey. First of all, I got a bad case of pinkeye. 1491 01:04:00,379 --> 01:04:02,088 I learned my lesson. 1492 01:04:02,089 --> 01:04:03,589 Hasn't happened since. 1493 01:04:03,590 --> 01:04:05,466 You never appreciated Doug. 1494 01:04:05,467 --> 01:04:06,718 Actors never do. 1495 01:04:07,803 --> 01:04:09,470 Anyway, I recently learned that 1496 01:04:09,471 --> 01:04:11,711 there's a lot of people that I may have underappreciated. 1497 01:04:13,267 --> 01:04:15,184 Good, Kevin. 1498 01:04:15,185 --> 01:04:17,395 That's growth. 1499 01:04:17,396 --> 01:04:19,981 - See that branch up there? - Yeah. 1500 01:04:19,982 --> 01:04:21,607 Climb that tree, crawl out to that branch, 1501 01:04:21,608 --> 01:04:23,234 and give me a dead drop to the ground. 1502 01:04:25,696 --> 01:04:28,114 Uh, how am I supposed to... 1503 01:04:28,115 --> 01:04:30,157 You want to know how Doug thinks? 1504 01:04:30,158 --> 01:04:31,492 You want to know how he operates? 1505 01:04:31,493 --> 01:04:33,744 You must see the world as he sees it, 1506 01:04:33,745 --> 01:04:35,789 without fear, without hesitation. 1507 01:04:39,501 --> 01:04:40,710 I'm a little scared, though. 1508 01:04:40,711 --> 01:04:42,336 I'm just gonna throw that out there. 1509 01:04:42,337 --> 01:04:44,547 - It's not like I'm... - I volunteer as tribute. 1510 01:04:44,548 --> 01:04:47,341 Damn right you do. 1511 01:04:47,342 --> 01:04:49,176 This is Kevin's journey. That's his dead-drop branch. 1512 01:04:49,177 --> 01:04:50,636 No, that's what you don't understand. 1513 01:04:50,637 --> 01:04:52,555 You know why? Because what's Kevin's is mine. 1514 01:04:52,556 --> 01:04:53,723 - Well... - Well, right. 1515 01:04:53,724 --> 01:04:55,016 I mean, not your material wealth. 1516 01:04:55,017 --> 01:04:56,225 - Of course, or your income. - No. 1517 01:04:56,226 --> 01:04:57,768 - Or your success. - No. 1518 01:04:57,769 --> 01:04:59,103 Or your rare collection of cars, which are amazing. 1519 01:04:59,104 --> 01:05:00,438 - No. - Right, none of that. 1520 01:05:00,439 --> 01:05:03,733 But his pain, his anguish... 1521 01:05:03,734 --> 01:05:05,693 Basically, anything that's bad, anything that's bad... 1522 01:05:05,694 --> 01:05:07,696 that's mine, too. That is my journey. 1523 01:05:11,533 --> 01:05:12,826 - What? - Brother. 1524 01:05:17,414 --> 01:05:19,248 Oh my gosh. 1525 01:05:20,876 --> 01:05:22,835 What's happening, guys? 1526 01:05:22,836 --> 01:05:24,253 Guys, this don't look good from the back. 1527 01:05:24,254 --> 01:05:25,672 What's going on? 1528 01:05:37,851 --> 01:05:40,686 Kevin, you can't compete with Doug... 1529 01:05:40,687 --> 01:05:43,815 but you clearly have the one thing he will never have. 1530 01:05:45,609 --> 01:05:47,485 You have a sidekick. 1531 01:05:47,486 --> 01:05:50,279 Andre? No, Andre is my... 1532 01:05:50,280 --> 01:05:51,989 Andre's like my... What would you call it? 1533 01:05:53,492 --> 01:05:54,909 No, no, no. No, no. 1534 01:05:54,910 --> 01:05:56,869 - I'm his... - Hey, hey, hey. No, no, no. 1535 01:05:56,870 --> 01:05:58,704 Andre's your what? I want you to say it. 1536 01:05:58,705 --> 01:06:00,206 Well, he was gonna say it, too. 1537 01:06:00,207 --> 01:06:01,832 No, no, he's right there. Andre's your what? 1538 01:06:01,833 --> 01:06:03,209 You don't have to do this, man. 1539 01:06:03,210 --> 01:06:04,502 He's your what? 1540 01:06:04,503 --> 01:06:05,878 Well, he's my assistant, my assistant. 1541 01:06:05,879 --> 01:06:07,922 He's your... 1542 01:06:07,923 --> 01:06:09,215 - He's... - Say it. 1543 01:06:09,216 --> 01:06:10,758 Andre's my... He's my sidekick. 1544 01:06:10,759 --> 01:06:12,718 - Say it. - He's... Andre's my sidekick. 1545 01:06:12,719 --> 01:06:14,136 - Say it. - He's my sidekick. 1546 01:06:14,137 --> 01:06:15,471 Yeah, I need you to say it. 1547 01:06:15,472 --> 01:06:17,181 Okay. Andre... Andre is my sidekick. 1548 01:06:17,182 --> 01:06:18,516 God damn it, Kevin, I need you to 1549 01:06:18,517 --> 01:06:19,975 fucking say it! 1550 01:06:19,976 --> 01:06:21,310 And I need you to believe it 1551 01:06:21,311 --> 01:06:22,812 deep down in your fucking bones. 1552 01:06:22,813 --> 01:06:26,190 Andre... Andre is my sidekick! 1553 01:06:26,191 --> 01:06:28,609 - Huh? - I said, Andre is my sidekick! 1554 01:06:28,610 --> 01:06:30,027 Who's your sidekick? 1555 01:06:30,028 --> 01:06:31,696 I said, Andre is my sidekick! 1556 01:06:31,697 --> 01:06:35,574 - I'm your sidekick! - Andre is my si... 1557 01:06:35,575 --> 01:06:38,536 I'm your sidekick! 1558 01:06:38,537 --> 01:06:40,579 What's happening to me, man? 1559 01:06:40,580 --> 01:06:42,832 It's growth, Kevin. 1560 01:06:42,833 --> 01:06:45,126 Growth hurts. 1561 01:06:45,127 --> 01:06:47,879 That's a pain that no double can take for you. 1562 01:06:50,048 --> 01:06:54,344 You see, Kevin, you came here seeking a mentor, but it's you. 1563 01:06:55,971 --> 01:06:57,347 You are the mentor. 1564 01:06:59,015 --> 01:07:00,434 Hell yeah. 1565 01:07:03,729 --> 01:07:04,937 You know what? You know what? 1566 01:07:04,938 --> 01:07:07,774 You two... take this moment, talk. 1567 01:07:08,942 --> 01:07:10,360 Talk over your new bond. 1568 01:07:11,945 --> 01:07:14,364 I'm gonna go get my tea. 1569 01:07:17,868 --> 01:07:19,618 What a fucking day. 1570 01:07:19,619 --> 01:07:22,413 I mean, now that I'm essentially, 1571 01:07:22,414 --> 01:07:24,165 I've been deputized as your sidekick, 1572 01:07:24,166 --> 01:07:26,375 I have an idea for Doug. We could work together on this. 1573 01:07:26,376 --> 01:07:27,960 We gotta get close to him, okay? 1574 01:07:27,961 --> 01:07:29,920 We don't have to record him or anything like... 1575 01:07:29,921 --> 01:07:31,464 What's wrong? What's wrong? 1576 01:07:32,841 --> 01:07:34,383 That scar on his hand. 1577 01:07:34,384 --> 01:07:36,594 Yeah? 1578 01:07:36,595 --> 01:07:38,512 I think I recognize that scar. 1579 01:08:14,925 --> 01:08:16,342 We don't have any scheduled deliveries. 1580 01:08:16,343 --> 01:08:17,635 Please turn around. 1581 01:08:17,636 --> 01:08:19,428 Hey, pal, I got a hot date 1582 01:08:19,429 --> 01:08:22,640 with my old lady in 30 minutes, meatball sub night, 1583 01:08:22,641 --> 01:08:25,059 and all’s I knows is I got a package 1584 01:08:25,060 --> 01:08:27,311 from Debra Simon at the studio. 1585 01:08:27,312 --> 01:08:29,855 Now, I can either leave it here, or I can take it home, 1586 01:08:29,856 --> 01:08:31,983 but you gotta tell me what you want me to do. 1587 01:08:34,486 --> 01:08:36,070 Go ahead. 1588 01:08:36,071 --> 01:08:38,949 That's what I thought. I'll see you in a bit. Up, up! 1589 01:08:40,951 --> 01:08:42,660 Okay. 1590 01:08:42,661 --> 01:08:47,957 Hey, Ronald Mondolvia, Mondolvia Plumbing, license and bonded. 1591 01:08:47,958 --> 01:08:49,625 You know, some guys are licensed, not bonded. 1592 01:08:49,626 --> 01:08:51,252 Other guys, they're bonded, not licensed. 1593 01:08:51,253 --> 01:08:53,546 Me, I'm both licensed and bonded. 1594 01:08:53,547 --> 01:08:55,047 Debra Simon sent a plumber? 1595 01:08:55,048 --> 01:08:57,299 Not a plumber, my man. The plumber. 1596 01:08:57,300 --> 01:08:59,176 I can plumb anything with pipes. Fuck it. 1597 01:08:59,177 --> 01:09:00,553 Sometimes I don't even need pipes. 1598 01:09:00,554 --> 01:09:02,429 One time I plumbed a manila envelope. 1599 01:09:02,430 --> 01:09:04,265 Water was spouting fucking everywhere. 1600 01:09:04,266 --> 01:09:05,683 - It was insane. - So what's in the van? 1601 01:09:05,684 --> 01:09:07,226 Oh, my God. 1602 01:09:07,227 --> 01:09:09,812 Hold on to your fucking beautiful, beautiful balls 1603 01:09:09,813 --> 01:09:11,272 because this, my man... 1604 01:09:12,399 --> 01:09:13,858 It's a commode. 1605 01:09:13,859 --> 01:09:16,485 Imported Italian marble, beautiful one-piece 1606 01:09:16,486 --> 01:09:18,320 construction, 12-speed bidet. 1607 01:09:18,321 --> 01:09:20,114 We got a little air fryer on the right. 1608 01:09:20,115 --> 01:09:21,907 You want to cook, eat, circle of life, shitting, 1609 01:09:21,908 --> 01:09:23,367 eating at the same time, there's only a couple 1610 01:09:23,368 --> 01:09:24,910 of these in the entire world. 1611 01:09:24,911 --> 01:09:26,203 This, my friend, probably one of the best 1612 01:09:26,204 --> 01:09:27,496 presents in the universe. 1613 01:09:27,497 --> 01:09:30,083 So can you, you know, eh? 1614 01:09:39,384 --> 01:09:40,926 You gonna help me fucking bring it in, or no? 1615 01:09:40,927 --> 01:09:42,845 Alright, fuck it, whatever. Yeah, okay. 1616 01:09:42,846 --> 01:09:45,306 I'll supervise. Pick it up. 1617 01:09:45,307 --> 01:09:47,266 Use your back. 1618 01:09:47,267 --> 01:09:48,559 Whoa, big boy. Big boy coming through. 1619 01:09:48,560 --> 01:09:50,102 Big boy coming through. Big boy. 1620 01:09:50,103 --> 01:09:51,854 Okay, Andre has the guard's attention. 1621 01:09:51,855 --> 01:09:53,147 Okay. 1622 01:09:53,148 --> 01:09:54,815 You sure you're ready for this? 1623 01:09:54,816 --> 01:09:57,234 In our family, if an A-list actor is in trouble, 1624 01:09:57,235 --> 01:09:59,737 we don't stand quietly by. 1625 01:09:59,738 --> 01:10:02,407 We fight, and if we must, we die. 1626 01:10:05,035 --> 01:10:08,412 Wow, well, the world could use more people like... 1627 01:10:08,413 --> 01:10:09,788 Wait, what is your last name? 1628 01:10:09,789 --> 01:10:11,166 Oh, Mondolvia. 1629 01:10:15,921 --> 01:10:17,379 Where the hell does this thing go? 1630 01:10:17,380 --> 01:10:20,674 Oh, that is the million-dollar question, huh? 1631 01:10:20,675 --> 01:10:22,468 Let me think about this. 1632 01:10:22,469 --> 01:10:25,679 Well, you could powder-room it, show it off like a prize pony, 1633 01:10:25,680 --> 01:10:28,557 or you put it in the main bath. 1634 01:10:28,558 --> 01:10:30,559 Keep all that for yourself, hmm? 1635 01:10:30,560 --> 01:10:32,519 Now, there's a third option, alright? 1636 01:10:32,520 --> 01:10:35,356 Listen up closely 'cause this one's fucking insane. 1637 01:10:35,357 --> 01:10:37,775 You can put the commode right here, 1638 01:10:37,776 --> 01:10:40,110 smack dab in the middle of the living room, 1639 01:10:40,111 --> 01:10:42,988 and you take a big, greasy shit right here, 1640 01:10:42,989 --> 01:10:44,365 look everybody right in the eyes, 1641 01:10:44,366 --> 01:10:46,575 make them wonder what your deal is. 1642 01:10:46,576 --> 01:10:48,369 And I know what you're thinking, holy shit, 1643 01:10:48,370 --> 01:10:50,454 that's aggressive, right? 1644 01:10:50,455 --> 01:10:51,789 But they'll respect the shit out of you. 1645 01:10:51,790 --> 01:10:53,123 Wait a minute, don't I know you? 1646 01:10:53,124 --> 01:10:55,417 Don't you know? Don't you know? 1647 01:10:55,418 --> 01:10:57,211 Yeah, boop, boop, boop, boop. 1648 01:10:57,212 --> 01:10:59,129 Yeah, yeah. Oh, you know what it is? 1649 01:10:59,130 --> 01:11:00,589 Isn't this the place you took a shit 1650 01:11:00,590 --> 01:11:01,840 so big up there that people thought there 1651 01:11:01,841 --> 01:11:03,425 was a dog loose in the pipes? 1652 01:11:03,426 --> 01:11:04,885 How the hell am I gonna take a shit... 1653 01:11:04,886 --> 01:11:06,303 Man, what are you talking about? No. 1654 01:11:06,304 --> 01:11:07,805 - Wasn't that you? - No. 1655 01:11:07,806 --> 01:11:09,390 - No? - A dog in the pipes? 1656 01:11:09,391 --> 01:11:10,641 Maybe it was a dachshund. 1657 01:11:10,642 --> 01:11:11,892 Looked like a dachshund, your big... 1658 01:11:13,395 --> 01:11:14,603 - Oh, no, is that the dog? - Wait right here. 1659 01:11:14,604 --> 01:11:16,146 I'll deal with you in a minute. 1660 01:11:16,147 --> 01:11:18,399 Yeah, I'm gonna wait right here in New York City, 1661 01:11:18,400 --> 01:11:19,776 you know what I mean? 1662 01:11:21,111 --> 01:11:22,987 Kevin? Kevin, are you okay, baby? 1663 01:11:22,988 --> 01:11:24,405 Everything went incredible up here. 1664 01:11:24,406 --> 01:11:25,906 You alright? Yeah, I'm alright. 1665 01:11:25,907 --> 01:11:28,033 Sweating my goddamn ass off, though. 1666 01:11:28,034 --> 01:11:30,119 Jesus Christ, how you ain't cut no holes in here? 1667 01:11:30,120 --> 01:11:31,829 Let's get you out of here and kick some fucking ass. 1668 01:11:31,830 --> 01:11:33,414 What do you say, huh? Alright, come on. 1669 01:11:33,415 --> 01:11:34,833 - Let's go. - Yes! 1670 01:11:49,264 --> 01:11:51,473 - What are you doing? - Funny story. 1671 01:11:51,474 --> 01:11:52,933 You're gonna lose your goddamn mind. 1672 01:11:52,934 --> 01:11:56,353 I drilled this puppy a little bit too hard. 1673 01:11:56,354 --> 01:11:58,856 I can't get it out without the aid of some tools. 1674 01:11:58,857 --> 01:12:00,441 So give me a second. I'm gonna grab some tools. 1675 01:12:00,442 --> 01:12:02,443 I'll be right back. Okay, talk soon. 1676 01:12:02,444 --> 01:12:04,069 Hey, Andre, you better stop playing. 1677 01:12:04,070 --> 01:12:06,864 Seriously, man. Andre? 1678 01:12:06,865 --> 01:12:08,450 Andre? 1679 01:12:16,666 --> 01:12:19,877 Hey, were those fireworks? 1680 01:12:19,878 --> 01:12:22,880 I live next door, at the Mondolvia estate. 1681 01:12:22,881 --> 01:12:25,591 Did you set those off? You know that that is illegal. 1682 01:12:25,592 --> 01:12:28,260 They're not ours. I don't know who set these off. 1683 01:12:28,261 --> 01:12:30,596 Well, it scared the bejesus out of me, 1684 01:12:30,597 --> 01:12:32,556 and I have a pacemaker. 1685 01:12:32,557 --> 01:12:34,516 What do you have to say for yourself? 1686 01:12:34,517 --> 01:12:36,226 Look, lady, I told you, they're not my fireworks, 1687 01:12:36,227 --> 01:12:38,103 and I didn't shit in any pipes! 1688 01:12:38,104 --> 01:12:39,313 What? 1689 01:12:44,819 --> 01:12:46,321 That's for Andre. 1690 01:12:52,911 --> 01:12:54,119 Andre? 1691 01:12:55,371 --> 01:12:57,123 Andre? Come on, man, I'm serious. 1692 01:12:59,292 --> 01:13:00,751 There you go. What took you so long? 1693 01:13:00,752 --> 01:13:03,045 Where you go? Leaving me in this box 1694 01:13:03,046 --> 01:13:05,214 with all that goddamn quiet. Don't do that. 1695 01:13:07,550 --> 01:13:09,593 The fuck is that? 1696 01:13:09,594 --> 01:13:10,761 Hey. 1697 01:13:12,222 --> 01:13:13,764 Andre, that's a chainsaw? Okay, hold on. 1698 01:13:13,765 --> 01:13:15,224 Wait, wait, wait. 1699 01:13:17,310 --> 01:13:19,520 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 1700 01:13:19,521 --> 01:13:22,022 Slow it down. Slow it down. Slow it down! 1701 01:13:22,023 --> 01:13:23,774 You're gonna cut my fucking head! 1702 01:13:23,775 --> 01:13:25,442 You're gonna cut my head! 1703 01:13:25,443 --> 01:13:29,071 No more chainsaw. No more chainsaw! 1704 01:13:29,072 --> 01:13:31,198 No more chainsaw, okay? 1705 01:13:31,199 --> 01:13:33,200 Jesus Christ. 1706 01:13:33,201 --> 01:13:35,828 Shit. What the fuck, Andre? 1707 01:13:35,829 --> 01:13:38,581 Oh, shit. Oh, oh, oh, shit. 1708 01:13:40,041 --> 01:13:42,084 On behalf of stunt actors everywhere, 1709 01:13:42,085 --> 01:13:47,089 I'm excited to say, this is your day of reckoning! 1710 01:13:49,175 --> 01:13:51,176 Hold up! 1711 01:13:51,177 --> 01:13:52,803 Trying to tell me a big old stunt legend like yourself 1712 01:13:52,804 --> 01:13:55,597 need a chainsaw? 1713 01:13:55,598 --> 01:13:56,891 Huh? 1714 01:13:59,060 --> 01:14:01,562 That's what the fuck I'm talking about. Two men. 1715 01:14:01,563 --> 01:14:04,189 How about two dogs in a bowl? I want to eat. 1716 01:14:06,234 --> 01:14:08,402 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1717 01:14:08,403 --> 01:14:09,987 Oh, you got a knife. 1718 01:14:09,988 --> 01:14:13,282 Big old man like yourself, stunt legend, 1719 01:14:13,283 --> 01:14:15,284 you need a knife for little old me? 1720 01:14:15,285 --> 01:14:16,702 That's what you need? 1721 01:14:16,703 --> 01:14:18,203 Fuck it. 1722 01:14:18,204 --> 01:14:19,788 I'll kill you with my hands. What? 1723 01:14:25,962 --> 01:14:27,880 Yeah, you know this ain't go too good for you 1724 01:14:27,881 --> 01:14:30,090 in that little, shitty hallway. 1725 01:14:30,091 --> 01:14:32,509 Man, Jordan whooped your ass. 1726 01:14:32,510 --> 01:14:35,971 Mask I was wearing was 100 percent polyester, unbreathable. 1727 01:14:35,972 --> 01:14:37,431 Sweating into my contacts. 1728 01:14:37,432 --> 01:14:38,849 Hell, a child could have kicked my ass. 1729 01:14:38,850 --> 01:14:40,225 Oh, that's a real elaborate excuse, 1730 01:14:40,226 --> 01:14:41,811 don't you think? Superman punch! 1731 01:14:45,440 --> 01:14:46,649 Oh, shit! 1732 01:14:47,984 --> 01:14:49,235 Ah, shit. 1733 01:14:55,617 --> 01:14:57,618 Shit. Andre! 1734 01:14:57,619 --> 01:14:59,661 Andre, do the sidekick stuff! 1735 01:14:59,662 --> 01:15:02,247 I made all that shit up about your sidekick. 1736 01:15:02,248 --> 01:15:04,082 You think I'd help you? 1737 01:15:04,083 --> 01:15:07,628 You think I'd put a greedy, unappreciative, 1738 01:15:07,629 --> 01:15:09,713 overrated actor over a stuntman? 1739 01:15:09,714 --> 01:15:12,758 I just thought it'd be fun to give you 1740 01:15:12,759 --> 01:15:15,469 some false hope before you died. 1741 01:15:15,470 --> 01:15:18,263 Shit! Yo, you gonna break my arm! 1742 01:15:18,264 --> 01:15:20,265 Yeah, and every other one of the 206 bones 1743 01:15:20,266 --> 01:15:23,310 in your body, and then I'm gonna eat your ass. 1744 01:15:23,311 --> 01:15:25,771 I knew it. I knew you were a ass-eater. 1745 01:15:32,237 --> 01:15:33,570 Oh, hey. I'll stab you. 1746 01:15:33,571 --> 01:15:34,947 Cute knife. What are you gonna do with that? 1747 01:15:34,948 --> 01:15:38,075 You gonna hurt me with that? Huh, huh? 1748 01:15:38,076 --> 01:15:40,536 No, but she is. 1749 01:15:43,539 --> 01:15:44,874 Oh, shit. 1750 01:15:46,209 --> 01:15:47,417 Oh, you got him. 1751 01:15:47,418 --> 01:15:48,794 It's... Okay. 1752 01:15:48,795 --> 01:15:51,129 Um, holy shit. 1753 01:15:51,130 --> 01:15:53,131 Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey. 1754 01:15:53,132 --> 01:15:55,300 Okay, hey, hey, hey, hey, look at me. Look at me. 1755 01:15:55,301 --> 01:15:58,220 Eyes. You good. 1756 01:15:58,221 --> 01:16:00,264 Thirsty. 1757 01:16:00,265 --> 01:16:02,808 - You what? - Th... thirsty. 1758 01:16:02,809 --> 01:16:04,894 Well, get you something to drink. 1759 01:16:06,938 --> 01:16:08,605 You fucking threw a knife in his head. 1760 01:16:08,606 --> 01:16:11,566 I didn't know what else to do. I meant for his shoulder. 1761 01:16:11,567 --> 01:16:13,151 How did you mean for his shoulder? 1762 01:16:13,152 --> 01:16:14,820 Fucking size of the fireplace. 1763 01:16:14,821 --> 01:16:16,489 That's him. 1764 01:16:19,200 --> 01:16:20,909 He's awake. It's a good sign. 1765 01:16:20,910 --> 01:16:22,911 It's a good thing. Look, he's fine. He's fine. 1766 01:16:22,912 --> 01:16:24,204 What are you talking, he's fine? 1767 01:16:24,205 --> 01:16:26,039 I mean, he's... 1768 01:16:26,040 --> 01:16:28,917 He's a fucking zombie. What do you mean, he's fine? 1769 01:16:28,918 --> 01:16:31,253 Oh, god, he's gonna burn himself. 1770 01:16:31,254 --> 01:16:33,005 He's gonna get a burn on his hand or something. 1771 01:16:33,006 --> 01:16:34,339 It's not really the worst thing 1772 01:16:34,340 --> 01:16:35,507 that could happen to him at this point. 1773 01:16:35,508 --> 01:16:37,134 - That's true. - Oh. 1774 01:16:37,135 --> 01:16:38,927 Hey! There he is. 1775 01:16:38,928 --> 01:16:40,221 How you doing, man? 1776 01:16:41,222 --> 01:16:42,974 Jesus Christ. 1777 01:16:44,517 --> 01:16:46,184 - He's okay. - He's just taking a nap. 1778 01:16:46,185 --> 01:16:47,811 He's not dead. He's fine. 1779 01:16:47,812 --> 01:16:49,187 - He's okay? - Yeah. 1780 01:16:49,188 --> 01:16:51,773 Wait, where's Andre? 1781 01:16:51,774 --> 01:16:53,692 Where's my sweet boy? 1782 01:16:53,693 --> 01:16:56,570 Don't you worry, 'cause I found him. 1783 01:16:56,571 --> 01:16:58,739 Alright, I'm sorry. 1784 01:16:58,740 --> 01:17:01,033 I made an oopsie-daisy. I got captured. 1785 01:17:01,034 --> 01:17:03,160 I thought I heard your voice, but it wasn't your voice. 1786 01:17:03,161 --> 01:17:04,953 It was his voice. I'm the worst sidekick in the world. 1787 01:17:04,954 --> 01:17:06,496 - Hey, shut up. - I'm gonna shut up. 1788 01:17:06,497 --> 01:17:07,831 - Shut up. - I'm gonna shut up. 1789 01:17:07,832 --> 01:17:10,000 You hurt one hair on my son's head, 1790 01:17:10,001 --> 01:17:12,210 I swear to God, motherfucker, 1791 01:17:12,211 --> 01:17:16,089 I will split you from chin to balls. 1792 01:17:16,090 --> 01:17:17,799 - Who the fuck are you? - That's my mom. 1793 01:17:17,800 --> 01:17:19,968 I love you, mom. If I die, I love you in heaven. 1794 01:17:19,969 --> 01:17:21,678 What the hell is your mother doing here, boy? 1795 01:17:21,679 --> 01:17:24,598 I'm here for moral support, and I love him. 1796 01:17:24,599 --> 01:17:26,058 I love you, mom. 1797 01:17:26,059 --> 01:17:28,060 But I will fuck you up! 1798 01:17:28,061 --> 01:17:29,561 - Try me! - Mom... 1799 01:17:29,562 --> 01:17:31,396 I love you. 1800 01:17:31,397 --> 01:17:33,398 How come y'all don't have no guns? 1801 01:17:33,399 --> 01:17:34,983 'Cause we're not here to kill anybody, Doug. 1802 01:17:34,984 --> 01:17:37,819 Oh. Oh, is that right? 1803 01:17:37,820 --> 01:17:40,489 Then where's Mr. 206 at? 1804 01:17:40,490 --> 01:17:43,242 He's... making breakfast. 1805 01:17:47,872 --> 01:17:49,707 This is a fucking joke to you. 1806 01:17:51,417 --> 01:17:53,335 It's a fucking joke to you. 1807 01:17:55,421 --> 01:17:57,881 Shut your ass up. Fuck you crying for? 1808 01:17:57,882 --> 01:18:02,511 - 'Cause I can feel your... - That man was my mentor. 1809 01:18:02,512 --> 01:18:06,056 He was my muse, my rock. 1810 01:18:06,057 --> 01:18:07,933 And in 2003, for a brief period 1811 01:18:07,934 --> 01:18:10,310 where I was confused about my sexuality, he was my lover. 1812 01:18:10,311 --> 01:18:12,187 - Okay. - Sounds like a very special... 1813 01:18:12,188 --> 01:18:13,522 Shut your ass up. Don't... 1814 01:18:13,523 --> 01:18:15,440 Hey, hey, hey, listen to me. 1815 01:18:15,441 --> 01:18:17,692 Doug, we are sorry for your loss, man. 1816 01:18:17,693 --> 01:18:19,236 - So sorry. - We're sorry. 1817 01:18:19,237 --> 01:18:23,240 Oh. Oh, you're sorry, huh? Hmm? 1818 01:18:23,241 --> 01:18:25,700 See, y'all are a bunch of brainiacs. 1819 01:18:25,701 --> 01:18:27,035 I thought I had all you dead 1820 01:18:27,036 --> 01:18:29,454 in that goddamn business offices, I did. 1821 01:18:29,455 --> 01:18:30,914 Alright, Doug. 1822 01:18:30,915 --> 01:18:33,542 Doug, listen to me. Don't you hurt him, man. 1823 01:18:33,543 --> 01:18:35,502 You hear me? Don't hurt him. 1824 01:18:35,503 --> 01:18:38,255 Oh, 'cause you care all of a sudden, hm? 1825 01:18:38,256 --> 01:18:41,466 All of a sudden, you got a fucking heart, Tin Man? 1826 01:18:41,467 --> 01:18:43,468 You don't care about nothing. 1827 01:18:43,469 --> 01:18:46,471 This man ain't nothing but an employee of yours, 1828 01:18:46,472 --> 01:18:49,349 which means he's disposable. Ain't that right? Hmm? 1829 01:18:49,350 --> 01:18:51,268 That's not true. 1830 01:18:51,269 --> 01:18:53,062 The man is the complete opposite of that. 1831 01:18:54,689 --> 01:18:57,524 - Andre is 34 years old. - 35. 1832 01:18:57,525 --> 01:18:58,984 He's left-handed. 1833 01:18:58,985 --> 01:19:00,569 Right-handed. 1834 01:19:00,570 --> 01:19:01,903 Afraid of scorpions. 1835 01:19:01,904 --> 01:19:03,697 I love scorpions. 1836 01:19:03,698 --> 01:19:05,157 He won a sixth-grade spelling bee. 1837 01:19:05,158 --> 01:19:06,700 I got fourth place. 1838 01:19:06,701 --> 01:19:08,285 He memorized every single line of House Party, 1839 01:19:08,286 --> 01:19:09,578 both Kid's and Play's. 1840 01:19:09,579 --> 01:19:10,912 - You did that. - I did do that. 1841 01:19:10,913 --> 01:19:12,497 That is me. 1842 01:19:12,498 --> 01:19:15,792 Andre is the one man that I cannot live without. 1843 01:19:15,793 --> 01:19:17,794 I'm with you, ride or die, 1844 01:19:17,795 --> 01:19:19,129 although I was hoping for a little bit 1845 01:19:19,130 --> 01:19:20,547 more ride and a little less die. 1846 01:19:20,548 --> 01:19:22,299 I think I'm gonna die, like, really soon. 1847 01:19:22,300 --> 01:19:23,508 - Enough, enough. - I'm gonna shut up. 1848 01:19:23,509 --> 01:19:26,011 Doug, now stop it. 1849 01:19:26,012 --> 01:19:27,804 You don't even want him, man. 1850 01:19:27,805 --> 01:19:30,140 You want me. I'm the one who messed up. 1851 01:19:30,141 --> 01:19:33,310 I'm the one that threw you out like Tuesday's trash 1852 01:19:33,311 --> 01:19:35,770 and left you on the side of the goddamn curb 1853 01:19:35,771 --> 01:19:38,023 without the blink of an eye. I did that. 1854 01:19:38,024 --> 01:19:42,235 You want me, not him, so let him go. 1855 01:19:42,236 --> 01:19:44,821 Let him go and take me. 1856 01:19:44,822 --> 01:19:46,907 That's what you want? You want me to let him go? 1857 01:19:46,908 --> 01:19:48,575 Hmm? Say it. Say it again. 1858 01:19:48,576 --> 01:19:50,160 I want you to let him go. 1859 01:19:50,161 --> 01:19:52,412 - Mama, how about you? - Please let him go. 1860 01:19:52,413 --> 01:19:53,538 - Let him go, huh? - Will you let me go? 1861 01:19:53,539 --> 01:19:54,789 You want me to let you go? 1862 01:19:54,790 --> 01:19:56,124 Please, Doug. That'd be so nice. 1863 01:19:56,125 --> 01:19:57,834 Everybody telling me to let you go. 1864 01:19:57,835 --> 01:19:59,252 I should just let you go. Hey, mama, I'm gonna let him go. 1865 01:19:59,253 --> 01:20:01,463 - Thank you. - Make sure you watch, hmm? 1866 01:20:01,464 --> 01:20:02,839 - You watching? - Thank you. 1867 01:20:02,840 --> 01:20:04,925 - Now get your ass... - Ah! 1868 01:20:04,926 --> 01:20:06,676 - Oh, shit! - Oh, no. 1869 01:20:06,677 --> 01:20:09,554 Oh, my, he let go. He literally let go. 1870 01:20:09,555 --> 01:20:12,557 - Yeah, I let him go good. - Doug, this ends now. 1871 01:20:12,558 --> 01:20:16,853 Oh, well, that's okay with me, Little Boots. 1872 01:20:17,939 --> 01:20:20,649 You want to do it the hard way? 1873 01:20:20,650 --> 01:20:24,152 Then let's do it the hard way, motherfucker. 1874 01:20:24,153 --> 01:20:25,696 I got your ass. 1875 01:20:28,449 --> 01:20:30,283 Honey, oh... 1876 01:20:30,284 --> 01:20:31,743 My baby's alive! 1877 01:20:31,744 --> 01:20:33,078 - He's alive. - He's alive. 1878 01:20:33,079 --> 01:20:34,788 I'm okay. I'm fine, I'm fine. 1879 01:20:34,789 --> 01:20:37,374 The table actually broke my fall. Did you see me? 1880 01:20:37,375 --> 01:20:40,585 That was the dead drop I never got to do in the woods. 1881 01:20:40,586 --> 01:20:41,878 That was my tribute to you, Kevin. 1882 01:20:41,879 --> 01:20:43,171 Hey, come on. Let's get you up. 1883 01:20:44,882 --> 01:20:46,383 Take it easy. 1884 01:20:46,384 --> 01:20:47,801 Okay, we gotta get him... Oh, my God. 1885 01:20:47,802 --> 01:20:48,843 What happened? What's going on? 1886 01:20:48,844 --> 01:20:50,387 Nothing. 1887 01:20:50,388 --> 01:20:52,889 A tiny, tiny bit of the table just... 1888 01:20:52,890 --> 01:20:54,099 Where is it? What part of it? 1889 01:20:55,184 --> 01:20:56,393 Don't touch it. 1890 01:20:56,394 --> 01:20:58,019 - Listen, listen. - Why, why, why? 1891 01:20:58,020 --> 01:20:59,854 Don't touch it. It's nothing. It's nothing crazy. 1892 01:20:59,855 --> 01:21:01,273 It's a little splinter. It's fine. 1893 01:21:01,274 --> 01:21:03,441 Get the tweezers. Let's get it out. 1894 01:21:03,442 --> 01:21:05,026 Why are you holding me back? 1895 01:21:05,027 --> 01:21:06,611 - Get it out! - Stop fiddling with it. 1896 01:21:06,612 --> 01:21:07,904 Yeah, stop for us. Come on. 1897 01:21:07,905 --> 01:21:09,447 Let's go get him to a hospital. 1898 01:21:09,448 --> 01:21:11,199 It feels like something's in my kidney, right? 1899 01:21:11,200 --> 01:21:12,701 - When I walk, at least. - Come on. 1900 01:21:13,995 --> 01:21:15,662 Okay. Jesus. 1901 01:21:17,206 --> 01:21:19,207 What the hell is that? 1902 01:21:19,208 --> 01:21:21,209 Oh, I installed customizable lights in here, 1903 01:21:21,210 --> 01:21:23,086 but you never had time to learn how to use 'em. 1904 01:21:23,087 --> 01:21:27,425 All them years I was your stuntman, Kevin. 1905 01:21:29,343 --> 01:21:30,677 Get him to the hospital, mom. 1906 01:21:30,678 --> 01:21:32,596 - Jordan, come with me. - Okay, be careful. 1907 01:21:32,597 --> 01:21:34,055 Come on, honey. Help me out. 1908 01:21:34,056 --> 01:21:35,640 See, Kevin, it wasn't 1909 01:21:35,641 --> 01:21:38,893 just taking falls and getting kicked in the face 1910 01:21:38,894 --> 01:21:41,563 and getting set on fire. Uh-uh. 1911 01:21:41,564 --> 01:21:44,691 That's not all I was doing to make you look good. 1912 01:21:44,692 --> 01:21:48,528 You remember Justice Squad Part Two? 1913 01:21:48,529 --> 01:21:52,240 You decided to gain 30 pounds for the part. 1914 01:21:52,241 --> 01:21:56,036 That meant that I had to gain 30 pounds, too, Kevin. 1915 01:21:56,037 --> 01:21:58,163 I'm a freaking diabetic, you selfish fuck. 1916 01:21:58,164 --> 01:22:00,290 - I almost put myself in a coma. - Okay, hey. 1917 01:22:00,291 --> 01:22:03,918 Hey, Doug, easy, alright? 1918 01:22:03,919 --> 01:22:05,337 I'm sorry, man. I made a mistake. 1919 01:22:05,338 --> 01:22:07,255 Shut your ass up. Mom, no. 1920 01:22:07,256 --> 01:22:09,799 Mom, no. Mom, no. Mom, I can't leave. 1921 01:22:09,800 --> 01:22:11,718 No, I'm not gonna let you die. 1922 01:22:11,719 --> 01:22:14,054 - I'm not losing another. - Mom, mom, listen, okay? 1923 01:22:14,055 --> 01:22:15,930 Look at me. 1924 01:22:15,931 --> 01:22:18,183 I... I know you wish you could have saved dad. 1925 01:22:18,184 --> 01:22:19,893 Yeah. 1926 01:22:19,894 --> 01:22:21,686 I know, I know, but this is different. 1927 01:22:21,687 --> 01:22:23,772 I'm not just Kevin's assistant. 1928 01:22:23,773 --> 01:22:26,274 I'm his sidekick, and you want to know 1929 01:22:26,275 --> 01:22:28,610 the first rule of sidekick? 1930 01:22:28,611 --> 01:22:30,195 - Do no harm? - No. 1931 01:22:30,196 --> 01:22:32,072 That's doctor's, mom. 1932 01:22:32,073 --> 01:22:34,407 The first rule of sidekick is there is no sidekick. 1933 01:22:34,408 --> 01:22:35,700 That's "Fight Club," mom. 1934 01:22:35,701 --> 01:22:36,868 You know that. Brad Pitt's in that. 1935 01:22:36,869 --> 01:22:38,203 Ed Norton's in that, Mom! 1936 01:22:38,204 --> 01:22:39,829 Just tell me, then. 1937 01:22:39,830 --> 01:22:41,998 Okay, listen to me, and listen good, man. 1938 01:22:41,999 --> 01:22:44,084 Back when I was a sidekick, I was always jealous 1939 01:22:44,085 --> 01:22:46,836 of the lead actor and all the glory they got. 1940 01:22:46,837 --> 01:22:48,171 And I told myself, Doug, 1941 01:22:48,172 --> 01:22:50,006 I said, when I become a lead actor, 1942 01:22:50,007 --> 01:22:51,925 I'm gonna get that same glory. I want it. 1943 01:22:51,926 --> 01:22:55,095 I want to taste that. And I did. 1944 01:22:55,096 --> 01:22:56,596 But when I tasted it, I handled it wrong. 1945 01:22:56,597 --> 01:22:59,849 I was selfish. I was stupid, man. 1946 01:22:59,850 --> 01:23:01,559 And now I realize how much I need my village. 1947 01:23:01,560 --> 01:23:05,188 And, Doug, you're a part of that village, okay? 1948 01:23:05,189 --> 01:23:07,857 I need you. I fucking need you, man. 1949 01:23:07,858 --> 01:23:10,735 Give me a chance to make it up to you. 1950 01:23:10,736 --> 01:23:14,406 Give me a chance to prove to you that this is what I want, 1951 01:23:14,407 --> 01:23:17,200 that... that I want you, I need you. 1952 01:23:17,201 --> 01:23:18,451 How about I give you the chance 1953 01:23:18,452 --> 01:23:20,787 to suck my dick, hmm? 1954 01:23:20,788 --> 01:23:22,831 I'm living the life, boy. 1955 01:23:22,832 --> 01:23:25,125 I'm in your goddamn mansion. 1956 01:23:25,126 --> 01:23:27,544 Hmm? I live here. 1957 01:23:27,545 --> 01:23:29,295 I got your career. 1958 01:23:29,296 --> 01:23:31,131 Your agents love me. 1959 01:23:31,132 --> 01:23:33,967 Them boys love me good, got me a part in a movie and everything. 1960 01:23:33,968 --> 01:23:35,343 I'm about to be Chucky in the new Child's Play. 1961 01:23:35,344 --> 01:23:36,928 - You took that shit? - Step back. 1962 01:23:36,929 --> 01:23:39,472 Get back before I goddamn skin your fucking lip. 1963 01:23:39,473 --> 01:23:42,434 And I signed up for a new Woody Allen movie. 1964 01:23:42,435 --> 01:23:44,436 Can't wait to see the press around that. 1965 01:23:45,855 --> 01:23:48,148 No, no, no, no. Come on, come on, come on. 1966 01:23:48,149 --> 01:23:49,941 Come on, wake up. Wake up. Come on. 1967 01:23:49,942 --> 01:23:53,403 What? What's happening? 1968 01:23:53,404 --> 01:23:55,363 I think what you were 1969 01:23:55,364 --> 01:23:58,158 about to do was to try to convince me that even though 1970 01:23:58,159 --> 01:24:02,162 you've been impaled by a large piece of 1971 01:24:02,163 --> 01:24:05,248 restoration hardware, you want to go back in there 1972 01:24:05,249 --> 01:24:07,792 and fight some lunatic 1973 01:24:07,793 --> 01:24:12,297 who is physically superior to you in every possible way 1974 01:24:12,298 --> 01:24:15,175 because you're not just his sidekick. 1975 01:24:15,176 --> 01:24:17,178 You're his best friend. 1976 01:24:19,472 --> 01:24:21,097 You're goddamn right I am. 1977 01:24:21,098 --> 01:24:23,099 So why go through all this trouble? 1978 01:24:23,100 --> 01:24:26,102 The Swedish actor, the torture chamber. 1979 01:24:26,103 --> 01:24:29,647 You think it's easy stealing a man's identity, hmm? 1980 01:24:29,648 --> 01:24:31,107 You think it's as easy as stealing his face? 1981 01:24:31,108 --> 01:24:33,026 Well, it's not, Little Pretty. 1982 01:24:33,027 --> 01:24:34,819 It's much harder than that. 1983 01:24:34,820 --> 01:24:37,322 Had to get his goddamn fingerprints first. 1984 01:24:37,323 --> 01:24:40,200 After that, I had to take all your goddamn passwords. 1985 01:24:40,201 --> 01:24:43,536 Once I got that, I said, we get your voice ID. 1986 01:24:43,537 --> 01:24:45,371 All the other secrets that you hold, I got it. 1987 01:24:45,372 --> 01:24:46,956 I got it good. 1988 01:24:46,957 --> 01:24:49,751 So now you have everything you need to be Kevin. 1989 01:24:49,752 --> 01:24:52,212 You even removed your mole, you sick son of a bitch. 1990 01:24:52,213 --> 01:24:53,671 Yeah, I did. 1991 01:24:53,672 --> 01:24:55,215 You know why? 1992 01:24:55,216 --> 01:24:57,217 'Cause I'm Kevin Hart. I'm Kevin Hart. 1993 01:24:57,218 --> 01:24:58,760 I got all the money in the world. 1994 01:24:58,761 --> 01:25:00,303 I got the best dermatologist in the world 1995 01:25:00,304 --> 01:25:02,013 'cause I'm Kevin Hart. 1996 01:25:02,014 --> 01:25:03,640 Dr. Sanchez would never touch 1997 01:25:03,641 --> 01:25:04,849 that rough-ass skin of yours. 1998 01:25:04,850 --> 01:25:06,643 But she did, motherfucker. She did! 1999 01:25:06,644 --> 01:25:08,102 Ah, shit! 2000 01:25:22,076 --> 01:25:23,743 No, boy. 2001 01:25:23,744 --> 01:25:26,246 Smack your ass. No, no! 2002 01:25:26,247 --> 01:25:27,873 - Ah, ah. Hold on. - What? 2003 01:25:29,208 --> 01:25:30,751 Superman punch! 2004 01:25:35,673 --> 01:25:37,507 No, not today. 2005 01:25:37,508 --> 01:25:38,883 Oh. 2006 01:25:40,469 --> 01:25:42,971 - I told you. - Ah, you stupid little bitch. 2007 01:25:42,972 --> 01:25:45,890 Wasn't done with you, hmm? 2008 01:25:45,891 --> 01:25:49,727 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 2009 01:25:49,728 --> 01:25:51,020 See, I got your body. 2010 01:25:51,021 --> 01:25:52,480 Doug, you ain't got to do this, man. 2011 01:25:52,481 --> 01:25:53,898 - Give me a chance. - But now... 2012 01:25:53,899 --> 01:25:55,191 Doug, no! 2013 01:25:55,192 --> 01:25:56,734 Now I want your soul. 2014 01:25:56,735 --> 01:25:57,986 Don't take my soul. 2015 01:25:57,987 --> 01:25:59,696 I'm gonna get your fucking soul. 2016 01:25:59,697 --> 01:26:03,199 What's happened to me? What the fuck you just do to me? 2017 01:26:03,200 --> 01:26:05,827 Oh, shit. 2018 01:26:05,828 --> 01:26:07,787 Just stab me in my goddamn scapula, boy? 2019 01:26:07,788 --> 01:26:09,289 - Hey! - Huh? 2020 01:26:09,290 --> 01:26:11,332 That's a wrap on Doug. 2021 01:26:11,333 --> 01:26:14,502 Oh, got me good. 2022 01:26:14,503 --> 01:26:16,005 Motherfucker! 2023 01:26:25,139 --> 01:26:27,724 Hold on, Andre, is that the piece of wood 2024 01:26:27,725 --> 01:26:29,434 that was lodged in your side? 2025 01:26:29,435 --> 01:26:31,185 Sidekick for life. 2026 01:26:31,186 --> 01:26:33,730 No, Andre, that was supposed to stay in to stop the bleeding. 2027 01:26:33,731 --> 01:26:35,440 I told him it was a dumb idea, 2028 01:26:35,441 --> 01:26:37,150 but does he listen to his mom? 2029 01:26:37,151 --> 01:26:38,401 I'd do anything for you, man. 2030 01:26:38,402 --> 01:26:40,320 Hey, hey, look at me. 2031 01:26:40,321 --> 01:26:42,197 You're the best damn sidekick I ever seen. 2032 01:26:43,449 --> 01:26:44,782 Alright, guys, call the cops. 2033 01:26:44,783 --> 01:26:47,952 Stay with Doug until they get here, okay? 2034 01:26:47,953 --> 01:26:50,121 I've gotta get you to the hospital. 2035 01:26:50,122 --> 01:26:51,999 This time, I'm driving. 2036 01:26:54,627 --> 01:26:56,836 You know, actually, I will drive. I'm gonna drive. 2037 01:26:56,837 --> 01:26:58,212 I saw the way you drove last time, 2038 01:26:58,213 --> 01:27:00,298 so I think I'll take it from here. 2039 01:27:00,299 --> 01:27:01,507 - Why don't we just... - We'll figure it out. 2040 01:27:01,508 --> 01:27:02,842 We'll figure it out. 2041 01:27:02,843 --> 01:27:04,218 Yeah, but I'll use my feet and hands, 2042 01:27:04,219 --> 01:27:05,470 and you can sit on my lap or some shit. 2043 01:27:05,471 --> 01:27:07,388 He's in shock. I got you, buddy. 2044 01:27:07,389 --> 01:27:09,223 Keep an eye on Doug. 2045 01:27:09,224 --> 01:27:10,768 I got you, buddy. 2046 01:27:12,937 --> 01:27:15,188 I mean, I was foolish. 2047 01:27:15,189 --> 01:27:18,900 I let my ego run the show, and I'm honestly, 2048 01:27:18,901 --> 01:27:21,861 I'm lucky to be alive. We both are. 2049 01:27:21,862 --> 01:27:23,738 Why is he here with us again? 2050 01:27:23,739 --> 01:27:26,866 'Cause he's a vital part of my team. 2051 01:27:26,867 --> 01:27:28,368 Ah, okay. 2052 01:27:28,369 --> 01:27:30,036 Hi, hi, hi. Sorry. 2053 01:27:30,037 --> 01:27:32,289 - Sorry I'm late. - And so is she. 2054 01:27:33,999 --> 01:27:35,291 And so are they. 2055 01:27:38,087 --> 01:27:40,713 Alright. Who is the older lady? 2056 01:27:40,714 --> 01:27:42,674 Are you talking about that gorgeous woman 2057 01:27:42,675 --> 01:27:44,717 in the back? That's my mama. 2058 01:27:44,718 --> 01:27:47,011 Mama, how's the food? 2059 01:27:47,012 --> 01:27:48,972 Oh, it's so confusing. 2060 01:27:48,973 --> 01:27:50,640 Yeah. I love it, though. 2061 01:27:50,641 --> 01:27:52,684 I'm not really sure what her role is yet. 2062 01:27:52,685 --> 01:27:54,769 We're still trying to iron out the kinks. 2063 01:27:54,770 --> 01:27:56,729 But what I do know is it takes a village 2064 01:27:56,730 --> 01:27:58,022 to operate the world of Kevin Hart, 2065 01:27:58,023 --> 01:27:59,649 and she's a villager. 2066 01:27:59,650 --> 01:28:01,025 What's a villager? 2067 01:28:01,026 --> 01:28:02,986 Wow, Kevin, I gotta say, 2068 01:28:02,987 --> 01:28:04,529 you certainly have changed. 2069 01:28:04,530 --> 01:28:06,322 No, I just learned to appreciate the people 2070 01:28:06,323 --> 01:28:09,492 that matter the most in my life. 2071 01:28:09,493 --> 01:28:11,828 ♪ Lovely day lovely day lovely day... ♪ 2072 01:28:11,829 --> 01:28:16,249 Well, does that mean that you're in for Jefferson's 2? 2073 01:28:16,250 --> 01:28:19,293 Yeah. Just gotta check with my stuntman first. 2074 01:28:19,294 --> 01:28:20,878 ♪ Lovely day lovely day... ♪ 2075 01:28:20,879 --> 01:28:22,463 Isn't he in prison now? 2076 01:28:22,464 --> 01:28:24,632 ♪ Lovely day lovely day... ♪ 2077 01:28:24,633 --> 01:28:28,219 He is. 2078 01:28:28,220 --> 01:28:30,972 Yeah, I don't know. It slipped my mind. 2079 01:28:30,973 --> 01:28:32,557 Ah, I forgot. 2080 01:28:34,476 --> 01:28:36,144 Forgot? 2081 01:28:42,443 --> 01:28:44,235 Hey. Hey, guard. 2082 01:28:44,236 --> 01:28:46,988 Guard! Hey, let me out of here. 2083 01:28:46,989 --> 01:28:48,531 I'm telling you, you got the wrong guy. 2084 01:28:48,532 --> 01:28:51,451 - Shut the fuck up! - I'm Kevin Hart. 2085 01:28:51,452 --> 01:28:53,870 I'm Kevin Hart! 144869