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You suggest in your novel that women
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are all masochists, Mr. Luke.
3
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:44,033
Is that your
personal experience?
4
00:00:44,133 --> 00:00:46,167
I present women as
I know them to be.
5
00:00:46,267 --> 00:00:48,633
The success of Women Weeping
would suggest that I'm right.
6
00:00:48,733 --> 00:00:50,200
But surely at
this point in time
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00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:53,400
when women are gaining leading
positions in so many areas--
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00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:54,567
That doesn't
affect the positions
9
00:00:54,667 --> 00:00:56,067
they take up in the sex war.
10
00:00:56,167 --> 00:00:58,667
In that ongoing action, women
are still a weaker sex who
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00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,267
long to be dominated by men.
12
00:01:02,900 --> 00:01:04,633
Isn't that a rather
old fashioned view?
13
00:01:04,733 --> 00:01:06,200
Rather old fashioned species.
14
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:07,933
Women have been the weaker since
the beginning of our existence.
15
00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:10,467
Are you suggesting that a few
years of voting and unisex
16
00:01:10,567 --> 00:01:11,533
have fundamentally changed all?
17
00:01:11,633 --> 00:01:12,900
I don't agree.
18
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,200
You may wear well-tailored
suits and smoke cigars,
19
00:01:15,300 --> 00:01:17,667
but at heart, you're still
the same, eminently crushable
20
00:01:17,767 --> 00:01:21,033
creatures you've always been.
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00:01:21,133 --> 00:01:23,300
You're a real tiger,
sweetie, when you got to have
22
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,333
a bottle of bourbon inside you.
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00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:26,833
Bravo.
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00:01:26,933 --> 00:01:29,600
Well, whether we agree with
Sam Luke's reactionary ideas
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00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:32,300
or not, we all have
to agree that Women
26
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,900
Weeping is a runaway success.
27
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,267
And who argues with
success in New York?
28
00:01:37,367 --> 00:01:38,167
Who indeed?
29
00:01:42,967 --> 00:01:47,033
You know, it's a
pity Zara isn't here
30
00:01:47,133 --> 00:01:52,400
to bask in your reflected
glory like a good little wife.
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00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:53,767
Good little wife indeed.
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00:01:53,867 --> 00:01:55,400
You know she wouldn't hear
of coming to New York?
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00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:59,700
A vulgar circus, she considers
this apotheosis of my career.
34
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:02,400
Little wife Zara doesn't
deserve any glory.
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00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:07,967
But I deserve a drink.
36
00:02:08,067 --> 00:02:10,433
Where is it, I wonder?
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00:02:10,533 --> 00:02:11,667
Ah, toots.
38
00:02:11,767 --> 00:02:14,233
You're impossibly
macho without her.
39
00:02:16,833 --> 00:02:20,333
Well, I got to go
look after the shop.
40
00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:22,033
Uh, Joannie will come--
41
00:02:22,133 --> 00:02:23,600
Come in, come in.
42
00:02:23,700 --> 00:02:26,867
Come by with those
copies for the mayor, OK.
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00:02:26,967 --> 00:02:27,767
Ha ha.
44
00:02:27,867 --> 00:02:28,800
Lovely.
45
00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:31,600
Sammy, I promised
Zara no bores.
46
00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:32,900
Where do you want it sir?
47
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,733
Where it was before Ms.
Jansen had it removed.
48
00:02:34,833 --> 00:02:36,000
Let's pull the goodies out.
49
00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:38,567
Ah, you got the works
in there, Mr. Luke.
50
00:02:38,667 --> 00:02:40,100
Yeah, sure like
your book, sir.
51
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,533
Well, thank you.
52
00:02:41,633 --> 00:02:43,400
I ain't read it yet, but
it sounds real good to me.
53
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:44,500
Uh, sign here.
54
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,133
We got to keep them women
in their place, ey, sir?
55
00:02:59,333 --> 00:03:00,267
Keep fighting the good fight.
56
00:03:00,367 --> 00:03:02,000
Hey, right on, Mr. Luke.
57
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:03,067
Have a nice day now.
58
00:03:03,167 --> 00:03:03,967
Thanks.
59
00:03:07,933 --> 00:03:12,100
Well, drink it dry, darling,
and the best of British luck
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00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,567
to your liver.
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00:03:14,667 --> 00:03:16,633
Sammy, you are
such a naughty boy.
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00:03:16,733 --> 00:03:18,833
Big boys ...
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00:03:18,933 --> 00:03:20,533
Especially former
lovely Zara, if she
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00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:21,800
ever gets around to ringing me.
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00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:24,267
Now remember,
Joannie is coming
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00:03:24,367 --> 00:03:26,333
by with the presentation
copies for you
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00:03:26,433 --> 00:03:27,933
to sign for the
mayor and his staff.
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00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:30,600
And don't forget to write,
I love New York, huh?
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00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:33,333
And have a nice
day, of course.
70
00:03:33,433 --> 00:03:35,567
And have a nice
day, of course.
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00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:39,200
Bye.
72
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:42,133
Here she is.
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00:03:42,233 --> 00:03:43,200
Get in there quick, Kitten.
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00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:45,000
Keep him off the booze.
75
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:46,900
Oh, you're kidding.
76
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:47,967
How?
77
00:03:48,067 --> 00:03:48,967
Oh, come on.
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00:03:49,067 --> 00:03:52,467
You'll think of
something, sweet pants.
79
00:03:52,567 --> 00:03:53,367
Hello?
80
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:54,567
Zara.
81
00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:56,300
Zar-- You might have
rung me yesterday.
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00:03:59,467 --> 00:04:00,767
Oh.
83
00:04:00,867 --> 00:04:02,233
So how is your mother?
84
00:04:02,333 --> 00:04:03,767
Well, her timing's
always perfect.
85
00:04:03,867 --> 00:04:05,600
I don't know why you don't get
somebody to look after her.
86
00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:06,867
I told you I'd pay.
87
00:04:06,967 --> 00:04:10,067
I've got money now,
lots and lots of money.
88
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,267
All those lean years, but
since I land the jackpot,
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00:04:12,367 --> 00:04:13,200
you abandon me.
90
00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:15,567
Hmm?
91
00:04:15,667 --> 00:04:19,000
Well, I must go on
television during the day,
92
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:23,767
alone, except with a chat show
host and 40 million people.
93
00:04:23,867 --> 00:04:25,267
Everybody loves me here.
94
00:04:25,367 --> 00:04:28,800
Even immigration
knew about the book.
95
00:04:28,900 --> 00:04:30,067
It's a friendly
city in the world.
96
00:04:33,967 --> 00:04:36,967
Oh, I've, I've--
I've got to go now.
97
00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:39,233
Joannie's here.
98
00:04:39,333 --> 00:04:40,233
Joannie.
99
00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:44,500
Clodagh's secretary, man Friday.
100
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,467
She's blonde,
petite, and gorgeous.
101
00:04:46,567 --> 00:04:48,300
She'll be here to
keep an eye on me.
102
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:49,700
Yeah, I know you'll trust me.
103
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,500
Sometimes I wish
you didn't trust.
104
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:52,567
Hello?
105
00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:55,933
Hello?
106
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:01,700
I think your wife's
lovely, Mr. Luke.
107
00:05:05,067 --> 00:05:05,867
Zara.
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00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,267
Oh.
109
00:05:09,367 --> 00:05:10,167
Who is that?
110
00:05:10,267 --> 00:05:11,467
I can't hear you.
111
00:05:11,567 --> 00:05:13,600
I saw you on
television last night.
112
00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:15,567
I'm going to get you, Luke.
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00:05:15,667 --> 00:05:16,700
Remember that.
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00:05:20,133 --> 00:05:23,800
And have a nice death.
115
00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:27,567
I have to get these back
to the Mayor's office, Mr--
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00:05:27,667 --> 00:05:30,000
was anything wrong?
117
00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:32,767
Some nut.
118
00:05:32,867 --> 00:05:35,767
Uh, hello, operator, was
that an outside call?
119
00:05:35,867 --> 00:05:36,867
Pardon me, Mr. Luke?
120
00:05:36,967 --> 00:05:39,567
I said, was that--
oh, never mind.
121
00:05:39,667 --> 00:05:40,967
All right, sir.
122
00:05:41,067 --> 00:05:42,367
Have a nice day now
123
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,833
Mm-hmm.
124
00:05:43,933 --> 00:05:45,200
If we can get these over
to the Mayor's office today,
125
00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:47,500
we could get two or three
paragraphs tomorrow.
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00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:51,333
Child, child.
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00:05:51,433 --> 00:05:53,867
What care we for odd paragraphs?
128
00:05:53,967 --> 00:05:55,433
We are a television
celebrity, Joannie.
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00:05:55,533 --> 00:05:59,100
We are unamused by grubby
little journalists,
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00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:03,133
or by crank telephone calls.
131
00:06:03,233 --> 00:06:05,733
Now, tell me about yourself.
132
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:09,333
I bet you are a lovely American,
more than average girl, who
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00:06:09,433 --> 00:06:14,267
is searching for a meaningful,
ongoing relationship,
134
00:06:14,367 --> 00:06:17,133
and meanwhile
fantasizes rather a lot.
135
00:06:17,233 --> 00:06:19,067
Am I right?
136
00:06:19,167 --> 00:06:20,600
Oh, gosh, Mr. Luke.
137
00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:23,833
You really do understand women.
138
00:06:23,933 --> 00:06:24,667
Hmm.
139
00:06:24,767 --> 00:06:28,233
Call me Sam, or Sammy dearest.
140
00:06:28,333 --> 00:06:29,400
Now drink up.
141
00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:30,300
Drink up, my pet.
142
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:47,667
Well, after that, well, I
just couldn't get it together.
143
00:06:47,767 --> 00:06:51,733
I mean, that so-and-so
really messed me up.
144
00:06:51,833 --> 00:06:54,267
My head was like one
of those glass balls
145
00:06:54,367 --> 00:06:59,233
with a snowstorm going on
inside it, you know what I mean?
146
00:06:59,333 --> 00:07:05,433
And every time I thought what
a sucker I'd been, how dumb.
147
00:07:05,533 --> 00:07:09,767
I mean, how dumb can you get?
148
00:07:09,867 --> 00:07:14,633
Well, after that, I
just wasn't into men,
149
00:07:14,733 --> 00:07:16,800
not even when I'd fantasized.
150
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,567
Fantasize.
151
00:07:21,667 --> 00:07:24,133
Fantasize.
152
00:07:24,233 --> 00:07:27,100
Auntie's thighs.
153
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,733
But here's the strange thing.
154
00:07:29,833 --> 00:07:34,100
Though I hated him for all
the hurt he'd caused me,
155
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:38,033
I sort of missed it in a way.
156
00:07:38,133 --> 00:07:40,267
It was like there
was an empty space
157
00:07:40,367 --> 00:07:43,267
where the pain used to be.
158
00:07:43,367 --> 00:07:44,200
Oh my god.
159
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:51,567
I just don't know how
you see these things.
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00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:55,167
It's like you've
got x-ray eyes, Sam.
161
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,367
Well, that's enough about me.
162
00:07:57,467 --> 00:08:02,600
I'm not very interesting,
just sort of normal, I guess.
163
00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:04,100
Let's talk about you, Sammy.
164
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,967
Sammy?
165
00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:09,900
Sam.
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00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:25,000
Oh, damn.
167
00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:29,333
Sammy Luke, you
twisted woman hater.
168
00:08:29,433 --> 00:08:32,233
You sexist pig.
169
00:08:32,333 --> 00:08:33,767
I'm going to cut off your--
170
00:08:39,133 --> 00:08:40,033
Hey, yeah.
171
00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:41,533
Who is it?
172
00:08:41,633 --> 00:08:44,500
You're going to
pay for it, Luke.
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00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,467
You're going to pay
for every filthy thing
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00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:51,133
you ever wrote about us.
175
00:08:51,233 --> 00:08:52,733
Have a nice death.
176
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:53,500
Hello?
177
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,233
Who's that?
178
00:08:56,333 --> 00:08:57,467
Hello?
179
00:08:57,567 --> 00:09:04,967
He-- God almighty,
who the hell was that?
180
00:09:09,133 --> 00:09:12,300
Sounded like a man
imitating a woman.
181
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:13,933
This city is full of nut cases.
182
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:21,000
Have a nice night.
183
00:09:58,267 --> 00:10:01,567
Have a nice day, Sammy.
184
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:02,733
Have a nice day, Sammy.
185
00:10:06,633 --> 00:10:10,100
Have a nice day, Sammy.
186
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,667
Have a nice death.
187
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:25,567
Mr. Luke, sir.
188
00:10:36,367 --> 00:10:37,567
Mr. Luke, sir.
- All right, all right.
189
00:10:37,667 --> 00:10:38,667
I'm coming.
190
00:10:44,767 --> 00:10:45,600
Hey, morning, Mr. Luke.
191
00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:46,600
Got something for you.
192
00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:48,267
Special delivery marked urgent.
193
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,600
What time is it?
194
00:10:53,700 --> 00:10:54,900
Uh, just after 11:00, sir.
195
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,200
Oh, Lord.
196
00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:57,467
I've missed something, I'm sure.
197
00:10:57,567 --> 00:10:58,800
Hey, would you believe it?
198
00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:01,100
My grandmother done
saw you on TV last night.
199
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:02,767
She's 83 but sharp as a tack.
200
00:11:02,867 --> 00:11:04,300
For god's sake, open
it for me, will you?
201
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,700
Well, sure, Mr. Luke.
202
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,800
Anyway, she thinks
you're number one, sir.
203
00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:11,867
I'm going to buy
her a copy of book.
204
00:11:11,967 --> 00:11:12,667
Why bother?
205
00:11:12,767 --> 00:11:13,933
Have her sent one of these.
206
00:11:14,033 --> 00:11:14,833
Oh, hey.
207
00:11:14,933 --> 00:11:16,433
That's great.
208
00:11:16,533 --> 00:11:18,267
Hey, could you write
something in it?
209
00:11:18,367 --> 00:11:19,833
You could just
sign it to Grandma
210
00:11:19,933 --> 00:11:21,533
Ethel from her friend, Sam.
211
00:11:21,633 --> 00:11:24,000
It'll tickle her to death.
212
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,667
It's never been
an ambition of mine
213
00:11:25,767 --> 00:11:27,367
to tickle old ladies to death.
214
00:11:27,467 --> 00:11:28,333
I'll try anything once.
215
00:11:28,433 --> 00:11:31,567
It's a copy of book, Mr. Luke.
216
00:11:31,667 --> 00:11:33,967
And a letter.
217
00:11:34,067 --> 00:11:35,300
It's marked personal.
218
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:36,467
Why on Earth?
219
00:11:36,567 --> 00:11:39,267
Should I put it
with the others?
220
00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:40,233
Keep it.
221
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:41,167
Well, hey.
222
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,800
Thanks a lot.
223
00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:47,100
Could you write something in it?
224
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,933
Oh.
225
00:11:49,033 --> 00:11:50,200
- Are-- are you all right?
- I think so.
226
00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:51,367
What the hell's going on?
227
00:11:51,467 --> 00:11:52,633
I wish I knew.
228
00:11:52,733 --> 00:11:55,000
Who'd want to do a
thing like that to you?
229
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:57,400
Well, just about any
liberated lady in New York, I--
230
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:58,433
Oh my god, Mr. Luke.
231
00:11:58,533 --> 00:12:00,100
Look.
232
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,033
Oh.
233
00:12:24,467 --> 00:12:27,133
Have a nice death.
234
00:12:27,233 --> 00:12:28,533
What do you know?
235
00:12:28,633 --> 00:12:31,500
But baby, get
this in perspective.
236
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:32,667
A joke book.
- Joke?
237
00:12:32,767 --> 00:12:33,900
That's all it was.
238
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,167
No one got hurt.
239
00:12:35,267 --> 00:12:36,700
You my dear, weren't the
one on the receiving end.
240
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,433
What about that, that message?
Have a nice death.
241
00:12:38,533 --> 00:12:39,400
And those obscene photos.
242
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:40,700
I tell you, it is no joke.
243
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,167
I do not find it funny.
244
00:12:43,267 --> 00:12:44,100
Poor Sammy.
245
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:45,233
Thank you.
246
00:12:45,333 --> 00:12:46,533
I wish I hadn't
cleaned up the mess.
247
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:47,833
Bob could've taken pictures.
248
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:49,700
It would have made
a great story.
249
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,233
Why don't I hang
myself in the lavatory,
250
00:12:51,333 --> 00:12:54,300
Clodagh dear, and Bob can
take pictures of that, too.
251
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:55,300
That's it.
252
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:56,733
Of course.
253
00:12:56,833 --> 00:12:58,167
- You're not serious.
- Don't be silly.
254
00:12:58,267 --> 00:12:59,600
No.
255
00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,733
I mean, you can never tell
what these jokers will do.
256
00:13:01,833 --> 00:13:04,700
But we can protect
you with publicity.
257
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:05,767
What?
258
00:13:05,867 --> 00:13:06,967
I'm calling a press
conference tomorrow.
259
00:13:07,067 --> 00:13:08,500
We're going to make
this work for us.
260
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,733
You're going over big
now, but a story like this
261
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:14,200
probably handled, everybody
will want to read Women Weeping.
262
00:13:14,300 --> 00:13:15,700
I want to go home.
263
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,167
Doll face, you've
got to look at this
264
00:13:17,267 --> 00:13:18,733
with a cool professional eye.
265
00:13:18,833 --> 00:13:21,200
Just remember, every time some
crazy liberated broad attacks
266
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,700
you, you're going to collect
the royalties on another 1,000
267
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,000
copies of Women Weeping.
268
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:26,933
Then the Time, Newsweek,
maybe even 60 Minutes.
269
00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:28,300
And that's the
biggest hype there is.
270
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,500
We're going through
the roof, baby.
271
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:34,200
Clodagh, dear, my life
is being threatened.
272
00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:36,167
I take that very
seriously indeed.
273
00:13:36,267 --> 00:13:37,100
Sure.
274
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,500
Thank you.
275
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,167
Everybody gets assassinated
in this heathen country.
276
00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:41,833
Well, I don't intend
being a martyr to my art.
277
00:13:41,933 --> 00:13:44,167
The circus is
concluded, Clodagh.
278
00:13:44,267 --> 00:13:45,967
I'm staying in this hotel
only long enough for things
279
00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:48,500
to quieten down so I can
slip out of the back door
280
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,000
and run out.
281
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,033
Get me London.
282
00:13:52,133 --> 00:13:54,100
England.
283
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,833
2508 9299.
284
00:13:56,933 --> 00:13:59,633
We'll hire guards for
you, and we'll search
285
00:13:59,733 --> 00:14:01,900
anyone who comes near you.
286
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,667
And I will give you
an increased royalty
287
00:14:03,767 --> 00:14:04,933
deal on your next novel.
288
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:08,733
Really?
289
00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:10,900
Yeah, but you got
to stick with it, kid.
290
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,233
Just a few more days and Women
Weeping will be number one.
291
00:14:13,333 --> 00:14:14,467
I guarantee it.
292
00:14:14,567 --> 00:14:15,600
Now I must fly.
- What you mean no reply?
293
00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:16,633
It must be.
Please keep it ringing.
294
00:14:16,733 --> 00:14:18,900
Joannie, look after our boy.
295
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:19,900
No problem.
296
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:20,633
Bye, booby.
297
00:14:20,733 --> 00:14:22,067
And stop worrying.
298
00:14:22,167 --> 00:14:23,133
All this is worth a fortune.
299
00:14:23,233 --> 00:14:24,033
Yes, Zara.
300
00:14:24,133 --> 00:14:26,100
Give her my love.
301
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,300
Now I must run.
302
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,567
Zara, look.
303
00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:30,367
You-- you've got to
come over right away.
304
00:14:30,467 --> 00:14:32,833
I'm getting all
sorts of unpleasant--
305
00:14:32,933 --> 00:14:34,733
Keep that whimpering
idiot happy.
306
00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:35,933
Do whatever you have to.
307
00:14:36,033 --> 00:14:37,833
Oh, no problem.
308
00:14:37,933 --> 00:14:40,500
I think I'm beginning
to relate to Sam.
309
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,300
Doesn't anybody
just do it anymore?
310
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:43,200
Hmm?
311
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:44,267
Have fun.
312
00:14:47,367 --> 00:14:48,333
You don't understand, Zara.
313
00:14:48,433 --> 00:14:49,733
I'm being threatened.
314
00:14:49,833 --> 00:14:52,000
My life is being
threatened, Zara.
315
00:14:55,433 --> 00:14:57,900
Oh.
316
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,700
I see.
317
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,667
You think it's a joke, do you?
318
00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:04,033
Well in that case,
have a nice day.
319
00:15:08,567 --> 00:15:11,667
Sometimes I have this
vision that women
320
00:15:11,767 --> 00:15:13,167
are an alien species.
321
00:15:13,267 --> 00:15:15,667
They're probably from some
black planet on the outer edges
322
00:15:15,767 --> 00:15:17,133
of the galactic system.
323
00:15:17,233 --> 00:15:20,400
Centuries ago, they sprayed
the Earth with amnesia gas
324
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:22,067
and infiltrated our planet.
325
00:15:22,167 --> 00:15:26,733
And we woke up believing
they'd always been here.
326
00:15:26,833 --> 00:15:28,567
Now we're witnessing
their final victory,
327
00:15:28,667 --> 00:15:30,300
as they take over our
professions, our clothes,
328
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,333
our potency, our
sexual positions,
329
00:15:32,433 --> 00:15:34,033
and most of our worst habits.
330
00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:36,533
When they're alone, they
communicate with one another
331
00:15:36,633 --> 00:15:38,900
in a disgusting
secret language, which
332
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:44,700
sounds like Japanese mixed
with the cries of small birds.
333
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:46,567
Is it too late to confront
and denounce them?
334
00:15:46,667 --> 00:15:48,133
Perhaps it is.
335
00:15:48,233 --> 00:15:55,133
And yet, despised man must make
one final if hopeless effort.
336
00:15:57,933 --> 00:15:59,767
Well, Sam, what
can I say after that?
337
00:15:59,867 --> 00:16:02,533
Except that Stag, the
magazine for real men,
338
00:16:02,633 --> 00:16:04,667
is right behind you.
339
00:16:04,767 --> 00:16:06,800
Thanks for a great piece, Sam.
340
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:10,300
Oh, that was so neat, Sam.
341
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,067
I just loved it.
342
00:16:12,167 --> 00:16:13,000
Hmm.
343
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:14,133
Fill me up, my pet.
344
00:16:14,233 --> 00:16:16,267
So we'll wrap up.
345
00:16:16,367 --> 00:16:17,367
Thanks again, Sam.
346
00:16:17,467 --> 00:16:18,900
Our readers are
going to love it.
347
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,567
And I guess it won't do
Weeping Women any harm either.
348
00:16:21,667 --> 00:16:23,267
Women Weeping.
349
00:16:23,367 --> 00:16:25,467
Whatever.
350
00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:27,300
Thanks a million, Bob.
351
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,133
You've just got
to be the greatest
352
00:16:29,233 --> 00:16:30,433
interviewer in the business.
353
00:16:30,533 --> 00:16:33,667
Well, I think you're
cute too, honey.
354
00:16:33,767 --> 00:16:35,100
Let me get you that drink.
355
00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:41,533
Or maybe.
356
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:44,800
Or maybe what?
357
00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:47,233
Well, I had this
boyfriend once.
358
00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:50,567
He was terrific at pressure
points and massage.
359
00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:52,900
Well, it really does release
all your tension, Sammy.
360
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:57,667
I could, you know, massage
your neck or something.
361
00:16:57,767 --> 00:17:00,100
Well, that is if you like.
362
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,233
I mean, it is better for you
than a lot of toxic alcohol.
363
00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:09,800
A little light massage.
364
00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:15,633
Why not?
365
00:17:18,633 --> 00:17:19,600
And a drink.
366
00:17:28,933 --> 00:17:31,967
Sometimes I feel
like my whole body
367
00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:36,133
is just one terrific
erogenous zone, you know?
368
00:17:36,233 --> 00:17:37,400
I know, dear.
I know.
369
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:38,500
Stop talking.
370
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,233
Oh, Sam.
371
00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:44,300
We really are relating so well.
372
00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:46,233
Oh, no.
373
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:47,533
That will be Clodagh screaming.
374
00:17:51,067 --> 00:17:52,033
Yes?
375
00:17:52,133 --> 00:17:56,300
Mr. Sam Luke, the
great author, please.
376
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,067
Mr. Luke is busy right now.
377
00:17:58,167 --> 00:17:59,333
Can I help?
378
00:17:59,433 --> 00:18:00,233
Uh-uh.
379
00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:01,667
This is personal.
380
00:18:01,767 --> 00:18:02,567
OK.
381
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,067
Is it a man or a woman?
382
00:18:07,167 --> 00:18:09,500
Couldn't really tell.
383
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:10,600
You-- you take it.
384
00:18:14,867 --> 00:18:16,533
Mr. Luke is real busy.
385
00:18:16,633 --> 00:18:18,267
I'll take your message.
386
00:18:18,367 --> 00:18:22,900
The message for Mr. Luke
is, have a nice death.
387
00:18:26,333 --> 00:18:27,767
They just said,
have a nice death.
388
00:18:30,467 --> 00:18:31,667
Get Clodagh.
389
00:18:31,767 --> 00:18:33,300
Tell her I'm going back
to London straight away.
390
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:44,933
Ms. Jansen, please.
391
00:18:45,033 --> 00:18:47,067
Right away.
392
00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:49,033
Well, cut in.
393
00:18:49,133 --> 00:18:49,833
Hello, Clodagh.
394
00:18:49,933 --> 00:18:53,233
He's just had another call.
395
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:55,367
No, I took it.
396
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:56,333
Terrified.
397
00:18:56,433 --> 00:18:57,800
Look, he's packing.
398
00:18:57,900 --> 00:18:59,067
I'm going straight back to
a little old country where
399
00:18:59,167 --> 00:19:00,733
a man may still express
a civilized opinion
400
00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:02,833
without being picketed or
threatened with assassination.
401
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:03,933
Zara was right.
402
00:19:04,033 --> 00:19:06,100
I should never have
come here, never, never.
403
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:07,267
I'll tell him.
404
00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:08,167
OK.
405
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:11,600
Sam.
406
00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:13,367
Little old, lovely,
bankrupt England.
407
00:19:13,467 --> 00:19:14,567
Here I come.
408
00:19:14,667 --> 00:19:17,767
Sam, Clodagh called Zara.
409
00:19:17,867 --> 00:19:19,833
She'll be here tomorrow.
410
00:19:19,933 --> 00:19:22,167
Zara?
411
00:19:22,267 --> 00:19:23,567
She's coming after all?
412
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:27,100
Oh, thank god.
413
00:19:54,233 --> 00:19:55,033
Hello?
414
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:02,367
So that's about it, Sammy.
415
00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:06,000
Have a nice death.
416
00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:06,933
Mr. Luke, sir.
417
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,233
What do you want?
418
00:20:11,333 --> 00:20:13,667
Uh, your people sent over
your fan mail, Mr. Luke.
419
00:20:18,667 --> 00:20:19,567
God, you look awful, Mr. Luke.
420
00:20:19,667 --> 00:20:23,233
You OK?
- Don't ask.
421
00:20:23,333 --> 00:20:25,733
Just don't ask.
422
00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:27,900
I started to read your book.
423
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,533
I just, I just love
it when she asks him--
424
00:20:29,633 --> 00:20:30,633
Thank you very much.
425
00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:36,967
God, you really do
look sick, Mr. Luke.
426
00:20:37,067 --> 00:20:38,067
Should I call a doctor?
427
00:20:38,167 --> 00:20:39,000
No.
428
00:20:42,267 --> 00:20:46,167
- Well, have a nice day, anyway.
- 'Day's over.
429
00:20:46,267 --> 00:20:47,400
It's evening.
430
00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:48,333
Yeah, sure.
431
00:20:48,433 --> 00:20:49,933
Thanks a lot, Mr. Luke.
432
00:20:50,033 --> 00:20:50,867
Have a nice day now.
433
00:20:50,967 --> 00:20:51,767
It's evening.
434
00:20:54,067 --> 00:20:56,367
Do you understand?
435
00:20:56,467 --> 00:20:58,100
Do you agree that
it's evening here?
436
00:21:02,567 --> 00:21:04,433
Well, yeah.
437
00:21:04,533 --> 00:21:05,433
Sure.
438
00:21:05,533 --> 00:21:06,533
Evening.
439
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:14,267
You take care of yourself, huh?
440
00:21:52,300 --> 00:21:53,867
My sign is
Sagittarius, and I'm
441
00:21:53,967 --> 00:21:57,133
sure that you are a
Scorpio, and very dominant,
442
00:21:57,233 --> 00:22:00,200
like Richard in your book.
443
00:22:00,300 --> 00:22:02,267
I think he is the
most truly male
444
00:22:02,367 --> 00:22:06,933
character since Rhett Butler.
445
00:22:07,033 --> 00:22:10,300
I'm sure that if we could meet,
we would find that we related
446
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:11,867
to one another really well.
447
00:22:11,967 --> 00:22:14,600
That's the most straight
up I've had all day.
448
00:22:25,100 --> 00:22:26,100
Ow.
449
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,000
God's sake, Zara.
450
00:22:27,100 --> 00:22:27,933
Hurry up.
451
00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:50,967
Sammy.
452
00:22:51,067 --> 00:22:52,467
Sammy darling.
453
00:22:52,567 --> 00:22:53,533
Zara?
454
00:22:57,467 --> 00:23:00,400
Where's Zara?
455
00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:06,167
I need Zara, not
you, Ms. Jansen.
456
00:23:06,267 --> 00:23:09,267
Zara can't help you now,
you drunken sexist pig.
457
00:23:19,300 --> 00:23:21,033
The hell is happening?
458
00:23:21,133 --> 00:23:25,367
You're about to have
a horrible accident.
459
00:23:25,467 --> 00:23:27,300
You.
460
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,300
Have a nice death, Sammy.
461
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:30,233
Oh!
462
00:23:37,967 --> 00:23:42,400
Look, I just want to
tell you how sorry I am.
463
00:23:42,500 --> 00:23:45,267
I keep remembering the last time
I brought him his letters, when
464
00:23:45,367 --> 00:23:47,433
he got so upset.
465
00:23:47,533 --> 00:23:50,567
I mean, my god, he looked awful.
466
00:23:50,667 --> 00:23:52,067
I never thought he'd
do a thing like that.
467
00:23:54,833 --> 00:23:56,233
I, I should have stopped.
468
00:23:56,333 --> 00:23:58,500
I, I should've made an excuse
to come back in and clear
469
00:23:58,600 --> 00:23:59,633
up the glasses or something.
470
00:23:59,733 --> 00:24:02,200
I might have talked
him out of it.
471
00:24:02,300 --> 00:24:05,867
The girl on the switchboard too,
she said he sounded desperate.
472
00:24:05,967 --> 00:24:08,100
Yes, thank you.
473
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:09,000
That's very kind of you.
474
00:24:21,233 --> 00:24:24,033
I can't believe we're
free at last, my darling,
475
00:24:24,133 --> 00:24:25,233
after all these years.
476
00:24:25,333 --> 00:24:27,300
Well, we are, my love.
477
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:31,133
Free and very, very rich.
478
00:24:31,233 --> 00:24:35,233
It's lovely, but I must try
to stop thinking about Poor
479
00:24:35,333 --> 00:24:37,933
Sammy's awful accident.
480
00:24:38,033 --> 00:24:42,167
Oh, well let me
help you, angel.
32611
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