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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Subs by kinglouisxx
for www.MY-SUBS.com
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- Hey, Dad.
- Hey.
3
00:00:06,048 --> 00:00:08,258
Ben wants you to pay
these bills for the store
4
00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:10,302
while he's at the hardware convention.
5
00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:16,516
None of these are overdue.
6
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:20,896
Uh, hey, so what's so new in hardware
7
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,398
that Ben needs to go
to a convention every year?
8
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:24,942
Doesn't he tell you
about all the cool stuff
9
00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:26,401
- when he gets home?
- Yeah.
10
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,070
But as soon as he starts talking,
11
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:31,657
I silently practice counting
in Spanish to myself.
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00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:34,618
Once, I got up to ochocientos.
13
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,913
He went there to try
to find some high-ticket items
14
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,415
to offset our sales slump.
15
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:43,543
Oh, look at this.
16
00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:47,256
These smart toilets can
diagnose heart problems
17
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,716
and alert 911 in an emergency.
18
00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:55,180
If Elvis had that toilet,
he'd be playing Vegas tonight.
19
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,725
And this drill can post
whatever you're working on
20
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:01,228
to Facebook in real time.
21
00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:03,230
I don't know why anybody would want to,
22
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:06,108
but I'm damned excited about it.
23
00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:08,652
Will somebody please kill me?
24
00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:09,653
Oh, I'll do it.
25
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,363
I'll do it.
26
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:12,990
I've been running all over town
27
00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:14,616
trying to find toys I can afford
28
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,451
for Beverly Rose's birthday.
29
00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:17,911
She doesn't like any of those,
30
00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:20,872
I can get her a toilet that calls 911.
31
00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:23,041
Maybe.
32
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,127
Can't be worse than
a tiny raccoon that says,
33
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:27,004
"It's a girl."
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00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:28,797
The only thing that's
gonna save this birthday
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00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,674
is making it a scavenger hunt.
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00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,718
That's why your mom and I did it.
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00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:35,137
We hoped that the big, fun birthday hunt
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would make you feel better
about getting socks
39
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:40,475
and a car wash jigsaw puzzle.
40
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:41,560
Well, it worked.
41
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,061
I still have warm memories
42
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:44,855
of me sitting in my toasty socks
43
00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:47,024
with my puzzle of the guy
smoking a cigarette
44
00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:49,568
behind the wheel of an Oldsmobile 88.
45
00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:53,572
I just feel bad I can't afford
46
00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,741
to get her anything nice this year.
47
00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:57,659
Oh, it's okay. She's a little kid.
48
00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,661
She's gonna be happy
with whatever she gets.
49
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:00,829
No.
50
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,372
She's going to birthday parties now,
51
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,499
and she sees all the great toys
52
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,918
that all of her
wealthier classmates get.
53
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:10,589
Last week, she came back
and asked for a nanny.
54
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,968
I hate when rich people send
their kids to public schools.
55
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:17,220
They want their kids
to grow up "regular."
56
00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:21,308
But it just makes our kids
more motivated pickpockets.
57
00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,477
How about you let me hide the toys,
58
00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:25,145
and you guys can all search together?
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00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:26,646
It'll be more fun for everyone.
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00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:29,566
Okay, but you gotta hide 'em real well.
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00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,985
I don't want it to be too easy for her.
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00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:35,530
She is academically exceptional.
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00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:36,907
So were you, but you still haven't found
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00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:39,034
a gift from the fifth grade.
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00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,243
Let me give you a hint.
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00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:42,496
It involves an Oldsmobile 88
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00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:46,500
and maybe a dog driving it
in sunglasses.
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00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:49,419
[bluesy harmonica music]
69
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:50,629
Hey.
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00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,506
I brought you some supper
from the Lunch Box.
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00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:53,673
I figured with Ben gone,
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00:02:53,799 --> 00:02:55,092
you might not have time to run out.
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00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:57,594
Oh, you're a lifesaver.
I haven't eaten all day.
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00:02:57,719 --> 00:03:00,889
Full disclosure,
that was on somebody's plate.
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00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,767
But his girlfriend was
breaking up with him
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00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:05,435
before he had a chance to touch it.
77
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:08,105
So if it's salty, it's from his tears.
78
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:11,149
Heartbreak-swiss on rye.
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00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:14,778
You can almost taste the betrayal.
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00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:15,987
[bell ringing]
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00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:18,782
Hey. Hey!
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00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,534
- Hey!
- No! Get out!
83
00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:21,493
Get out!
84
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:22,953
Get out! Come here. Come here.
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Come here.
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00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:25,247
- Get out of here!
- Let me go!
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00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,331
- Get a zip tie.
- Zip tie.
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00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:27,874
Zip tie. Zip tie.
89
00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:31,628
Got it? Got it?
90
00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,463
- All right.
- Get this off of me!
91
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:34,506
You can't do this!
92
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:35,674
What are you gonna do, call the cops?
93
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:36,800
- Dan, call the cops!
- Oh.
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00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:41,430
Oh, holy crap.
95
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:45,142
I know.
96
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,476
I'm on hold.
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00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,478
The hell is wrong with you?
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00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,689
Why would you hit
a little store like this?
99
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,566
I don't know, they wanted
crowbars and things
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00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,901
so we could break
into the better stores.
101
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:58,488
Well, thank you
for shopping at Olinsky's.
102
00:03:58,621 --> 00:04:00,183
[bluesy rock music]
103
00:04:00,292 --> 00:04:04,870
06x07 - Smash and Grab
and Happy Death Day
104
00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:08,540
♪ ♪
105
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:21,553
"The Conners" is recorded
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00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:22,846
in front of a live studio audience.
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00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:24,181
All right.
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00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:26,057
Your presents are hidden
all over the house,
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00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:27,559
and we have to find them.
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00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:28,518
Are you ready?
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00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:29,561
Yes.
112
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,521
Remember, the real fun is
113
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,440
the excitement of looking,
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00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,442
not the presents themselves.
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00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:37,319
Go.
116
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:42,491
I love it, Mommy.
117
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,409
Now I can see my books.
118
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:46,453
Mm.
119
00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:49,206
Academically exceptional, you say?
120
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:51,958
Oh, that's not a present, sweetie.
121
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,461
That is Grandpa's inability
to pass up free stuff
122
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,713
left out on the curb.
123
00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:59,925
Uh, I'm not sure
we're gonna find the gifts,
124
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,801
but after lifting up these cushions,
125
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:04,804
I think I now know why we're
always itchy after we visit.
126
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:08,475
Mommy, what's this?
127
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:09,392
They're old photos.
128
00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:10,727
Where did you get those?
129
00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:11,728
Over there.
130
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:12,979
Who are these people?
131
00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:14,523
That's our family.
132
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:17,275
Oh, yeah. There's your grandma Rose.
133
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,070
And there's your great grandma Bev.
134
00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:24,616
And that is your
great, great grandma Nana Mary.
135
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,618
And who are these people?
136
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,411
Hmm.
137
00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:29,955
I don't recognize them,
138
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,666
but they must be our relatives,
139
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:36,461
because they all look like
sad chimney sweeps.
140
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,797
That's a really old picture, sweetie.
141
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:41,508
The only one who would know
them is Great Grandma Bev,
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00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,760
and she's roaming the country
hopping boxcars
143
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:46,388
and stealing pies off windowsills.
144
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,599
It's sad, really.
145
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,309
Sometimes when you die, you just become
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00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,602
a picture in a drawer, huh?
147
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:55,981
And nobody remembers
who you are anymore.
148
00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:01,444
So if everybody forgets them,
they're gone forever,
149
00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:04,281
like in the movie "Coco"?
150
00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,615
Yes, exactly.
151
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:07,284
That is so smart.
152
00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:11,955
But it's okay, because when you're dead,
153
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,915
you won't know you're dead.
154
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,626
I won't know I'm dead?
155
00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:18,962
Am I dead now?
156
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:21,965
No, no, you are very much alive
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00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:23,758
and looking for presents.
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00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:28,888
We have to remember who they
are so they'll stay alive.
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00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:32,142
Oh, no, they can't stay alive
because they're dead.
160
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:37,105
So because they're dead,
they're gone forever.
161
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,898
No!
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00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:40,191
Darlene!
163
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:42,360
What? I mean, but it's okay.
164
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,654
It... it happens to everybody.
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00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,364
They just put you in the ground,
166
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,658
and then your body becomes food
167
00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:52,954
for all the hungry spiders and worms,
168
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:57,292
and that's... that's nice,
because they need to eat too.
169
00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:02,714
Oh, hey, what are we doing here?
170
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,674
We're supposed to be
looking for presents.
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00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:06,718
Why don't you look
in Grandpa's room, okay?
172
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:09,721
I'll go with her, keep her
out of grandpa's bathroom.
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00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,723
There's things in there that
make death look like a picnic.
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00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:16,519
What the hell, Darlene?
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00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:19,147
That is way too dark to say to a kid.
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00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,774
Well, maybe.
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00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,734
But you can't let her
keep believing that
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00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,527
people stay alive forever.
179
00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:26,780
The first time somebody dies,
she's gonna be devastated.
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00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:28,448
I'm just telling her the truth.
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00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,992
She is not ready for that,
and neither am I.
182
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,578
The conversation is coming
whether you like it or not.
183
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:36,831
Aunt Jackie is a terrible driver.
184
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,875
Dad won't stop eating hot dogs.
185
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,212
And if Ben doesn't stop talking
about hardware during sex,
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00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:44,130
I am going to kill him.
187
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,967
Well, thank you, officer.
I understand.
188
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:51,471
Just get here as soon as you can.
189
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,056
What'd they say?
190
00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,724
We're only a property crime,
191
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,810
so we're not that high on the list.
192
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,770
Did you tell them it was Jackie Harris,
193
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,856
former proud member of the Lanford PD?
194
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:03,066
Yes.
195
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:06,611
And then I heard
the world's longest sigh.
196
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,988
It was still going when I hung up.
197
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:10,448
Those guys.
198
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,909
They never missed
an opportunity to mess with me,
199
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:16,121
like when they replaced my
nightstick with an adult toy,
200
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,623
which... it's all fun and games
201
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:22,001
until you're speaking
at an elementary school.
202
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,586
You know this is kidnapping, right?
203
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:27,048
Wrong, false imprisonment,
and nobody asked you.
204
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,261
Okay, Dan, look,
205
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:34,013
the cops aren't gonna be able
to catch all those people.
206
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:36,766
But if we can get her
to give us some names,
207
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:38,601
then maybe we can get
some of your stuff back.
208
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,979
So you go over there,
you be the good cop.
209
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:42,689
You soften her up.
210
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:44,858
And then once
her guard is down, I come in.
211
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,568
I squeeze the names out of her.
212
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,406
Just so you know,
when the cops get here,
213
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,657
I'm telling them you were the leader.
214
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:53,825
But I wasn't.
215
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,994
They don't know that, but I do know
216
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:58,663
that the leader pays the highest price.
217
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:01,249
And since you're the one
sitting here, that's you.
218
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,793
- That's not fair.
- Life ain't fair!
219
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:07,338
You punks think it's no big deal
220
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,758
to smash your way in here
and steal a bunch of stuff.
221
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,342
Well, let me tell you something.
222
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:12,886
That stuff feeds my family!
223
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:15,054
Yeah, but you can just get
it all back from your insurance
224
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,390
- or whatever.
- [laughs]
225
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:20,268
We can't afford that kind of insurance.
226
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:23,438
Our insurance gets us a pretty calendar
227
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,774
with pictures of places
I can't afford to go to
228
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,401
because I've been robbed!
229
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:32,489
Frankly, I hope you go to jail
and you rot.
230
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:35,241
Dan, can I see you for a second?
231
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,829
Okay, um, good cop...
232
00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:42,165
that's the nice one, see?
233
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,417
'Cause you're not
leaving me anything to do
234
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:48,046
but take her out to the country
and have her dig her own grave.
235
00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:50,507
That depends if they left us a shovel.
236
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:51,800
Yeah.
237
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,219
Okay, look, I'm gonna be
the good cop, okay?
238
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:56,012
'Cause I know all
the psychological games.
239
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,890
I'm gonna pretend to connect
with her woman to woman
240
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:02,185
and then get her to roll over
on the other perps.
241
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,395
Oh, my... [giggles]
242
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,981
It's so fun saying perps again.
243
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,317
Perps. [laughs]
244
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,236
Okay, I'm gonna give you five minutes,
245
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:14,155
and then there's gonna be
a bunch of yelling and crying,
246
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,908
and then I'm gonna turn
my attention to her.
247
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,701
♪ ♪
248
00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:22,455
No, Grandpa could've just told us
249
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:23,832
he hid the gifts at our house
250
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,208
so we didn't waste an hour
251
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,752
looking for the gifts at his house.
252
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,921
Yeah, but that wouldn't
have been as much fun for him.
253
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,089
But I hid his Tums.
254
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:32,507
Payback's a bitch.
255
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:35,260
Beverly Rose is still freaking out
256
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,846
about your little conversation with her.
257
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,722
She won't even play
with her American girl
258
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,766
comb and brush set.
259
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,226
Would have been a lot more fun
260
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,979
if you had given her
a doll to go with it.
261
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:49,732
I would have if my scratchers had hit.
262
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:53,528
The worst part is she keeps
staring at that picture
263
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,530
because she thinks if
she keeps remembering them,
264
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,990
they won't die.
265
00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:59,450
Becky, you can't put this off forever.
266
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:00,910
I mean, you're a psych major.
267
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:02,328
You should know what to say.
268
00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:04,122
I haven't taken that class yet.
269
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:06,875
If she was eating dryer sheets
or pulling out her eyebrows,
270
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,960
I'd be all over that.
271
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,378
Why are you avoiding this?
272
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,213
I'm not avoiding it.
273
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:14,465
You're literally walking out the door
274
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:15,717
in the middle of a conversation.
275
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,385
That is avoiding it.
276
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,928
You're gonna screw up your kid, Becky.
277
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:21,890
Yeah. Well, it's my kid to screw up.
278
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,851
So just let me go to work
and close up for Louise.
279
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:25,935
That's an excuse.
280
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,145
You'd be running out anyway.
281
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:28,479
Yeah, I would.
282
00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:30,064
Nobody wants to talk to you.
283
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:31,900
You know those dead people in the photo?
284
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,485
They died to avoid meeting you.
285
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:39,365
So we were so busy
zip-tying you to the ladder
286
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,868
that we forgot to ask your name.
287
00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:43,453
Bella.
288
00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:45,580
Bella. Bella's a beautiful name.
289
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,582
Bella, that means beautiful.
290
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,001
No, I'm just saying that
291
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,836
I bet when your parents first saw you,
292
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:54,505
they said, "Oh, look at
our beautiful little girl."
293
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:58,176
This is really gonna disappoint them.
294
00:11:58,301 --> 00:11:59,928
Whatever. They're always saying
295
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,387
what a disappointment I am anyway.
296
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:03,598
They'll probably be happy
to find out that they're right.
297
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,142
Whoa, no, no, don't say that.
298
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:09,187
Look, I know that when you hear
somebody put you down enough,
299
00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:11,189
then you start believing it.
300
00:12:11,314 --> 00:12:14,484
But they don't get to write
your story for you.
301
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:18,029
Can I get you two yentas
a couple of lattes
302
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:20,490
and some shawls so you can continue
303
00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:21,824
exploring your feelings?
304
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,035
Just ignore him.
305
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,162
Now, I know that
when you don't get approval
306
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:28,331
from your parents,
then you try looking for it
307
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:29,791
in other really bad places.
308
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,502
But you don't need
to protect these people.
309
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:33,753
They left you here.
310
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,297
No, I was just stupid and got caught.
311
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,632
He didn't leave me here.
312
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,009
Okay, there's always a "he."
313
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:41,803
Uh-huh. Is this "he" your boyfriend?
314
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,972
Let me guess...
you were trying to impress him
315
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,933
by proving that you could
hang with the guys?
316
00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:47,892
You don't look like someone
317
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,811
who knows about having a boyfriend.
318
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,861
Happily married,
but that's not the point.
319
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:00,947
And he's a doctor.
320
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:04,659
So that's who talked you into it?
321
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:05,868
Yeah.
322
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,370
Okay.
323
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:11,374
Um, could you wait
in the back room for a second
324
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,167
for me, Dr. Banner?
325
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:15,086
I think that I can get
the names out of her
326
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:19,007
if I can get rid of
your menacing male energy.
327
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:22,093
Since we're taking shots,
328
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:24,262
he's an animal doctor.
329
00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:26,014
♪ ♪
330
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:32,687
Oh, are you my daughter or my waitress?
331
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,605
Unfortunately, your daughter.
332
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,315
Oh, good. Good.
333
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,526
Then you will appreciate this.
334
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,945
Oh, my God,
why do we always have to have
335
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,321
the stupid sandwiches?
336
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,073
Why can't we have the good bread?
337
00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:45,950
My friends get tacos. I hate you.
338
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:48,119
Can I have some money?
339
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,705
Guess I'll play the mom.
340
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,957
I totally support
all of your life choices
341
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:54,959
and respect everything you do.
342
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,628
That's what I would have liked
to have heard growing up.
343
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:00,673
Becky sent you over here
344
00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:02,341
because she's avoiding me, right?
345
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,594
You have that effect on people.
346
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:08,014
Becky?
347
00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:09,432
Becky?
348
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,185
[clucking] Becky.
349
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:16,981
What are you doing?
350
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:19,275
We have a reunion here, family members
351
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,612
who are actually excited
to see each other.
352
00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:24,864
Well, I obviously hit a nerve.
353
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:27,158
Something is going on with you,
and I want to help you.
354
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,576
Also, your rent's coming up,
355
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,079
and I don't want there
to be a problem with that.
356
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,705
Not now. I'm working.
357
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:33,998
I'll cover for you.
358
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:35,958
Hopefully the Johnson family's
got an opening
359
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:37,668
for a young, cool cousin.
360
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,088
Damn it, Darlene.
361
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,006
Why can't you leave things alone?
362
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,300
Look, the one thing
I've learned as a parent
363
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:47,887
is that you don't want your own
issues messing up your kids.
364
00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:49,722
You don't want to talk about death,
365
00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:52,266
but your silence is gonna hurt
Beverly Rose more.
366
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:55,103
Well, thanks to you,
I'm gonna hurt her either way.
367
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,854
How could you possibly hurt her
368
00:14:56,979 --> 00:15:00,024
by having an honest conversation?
369
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,651
Because I can't talk about death
370
00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:04,737
without thinking about Mark, okay?
371
00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:09,200
If I have to relive
the death of my husband,
372
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,077
I'm gonna lose it.
373
00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:13,830
And if I start crying,
I'm not sure if I can stop.
374
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:17,333
I don't want my daughter to see that.
375
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:21,295
Is that why you were so numb
at Mom's funeral?
376
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,673
Yes.
377
00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:24,882
Wow, I'm sorry.
378
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,051
I... I didn't know that pushing you
379
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,804
with Beverly Rose was
gonna bring all that up.
380
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:33,182
Well, maybe it will be
a little bit easier
381
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:35,059
if you don't do it alone.
382
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:38,855
So how about you and I
383
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:42,150
and a gender-reveal raccoon
384
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,944
go help Beverly Rose
make some sense of this?
385
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:47,613
♪ ♪
386
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,157
Oh.
387
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,616
Did you get any names out of her?
388
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:51,784
No.
389
00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:53,995
Well, you tried. Maybe I can do it.
390
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,246
First you'll have to find her,
391
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:56,622
'cause I let her go.
392
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:58,082
You what? You what?
393
00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,917
Why in the hell would you do
something like that?
394
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,669
Well, the more I talked to her,
395
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,963
the more I realized that she's
going through the same crap
396
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:06,048
that I was going through at that age.
397
00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:08,384
It was like going back
in a time machine.
398
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:11,053
Although, if I'd really had
a time machine,
399
00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,847
I never would have sold
my car to buy those
400
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,725
Mott the Hoople tickets.
401
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:18,060
Now I feel like I've been robbed twice.
402
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:19,729
I like seeing the bad guys get punished
403
00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:20,938
at the end of the movie.
404
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:23,065
Well, unless she figures stuff out,
405
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:24,692
she's gonna get punished plenty.
406
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,235
Chasing approval from people who are
407
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,696
never gonna give it to her.
408
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,490
Can those people give me some money?
409
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:34,035
Somebody's got to pay for something.
410
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,996
She just made a mistake
trying to impress a boy.
411
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:39,707
I spent my whole life trying
to get approval from men.
412
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,751
When I was a cop, it was the Sergeant.
413
00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:44,503
And when I was a trucker,
it was my dispatcher.
414
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:47,465
And then after my father died...
415
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:48,925
What?
416
00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:52,094
What happened after your dad died?
417
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:53,471
You, okay?
418
00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:55,264
Wanted approval from you.
419
00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:57,141
Me?
420
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,227
Why would you care what I think?
421
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:02,104
None of the other women
in my life seem to.
422
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:05,274
Because you were the only
positive male role model
423
00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:06,651
I had in my life.
424
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:08,402
I knew it was never
gonna get an attagirl
425
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:10,196
out of my mom or even Roseanne,
426
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,573
so I kept hoping that
I'd get one from you.
427
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,493
But you never took me seriously either.
428
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:18,663
Honestly, Jackie,
if I knew you felt that way,
429
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:21,332
I would have complimented you
on all kinds of things.
430
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:22,792
Like...
431
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:27,505
I can't think right now
because I've just been robbed,
432
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,799
and... and I'm under duress.
433
00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:31,300
Yeah.
434
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,803
Yeah, you're under strain.
435
00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,304
But when you get some rest
436
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:36,806
and... and you're
a little less shaken up,
437
00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:38,849
I'll be waiting for my list.
438
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:40,851
Right now, just tell me
I did the right thing
439
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:42,061
by letting the girl go.
440
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,354
You did the right thing.
441
00:17:43,479 --> 00:17:45,898
- Hey, there's your list.
- Okay.
442
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,358
Oh, I'll take it.
443
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,528
♪ ♪
444
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:53,030
Sweetie, that's such a good drawing.
445
00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:54,949
It's the people from the picture.
446
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,909
That way, if we lose that other picture,
447
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,495
we won't forget about them,
and they won't die.
448
00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:04,667
Um, let's talk about that.
449
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:09,714
I know you want to think
that people live forever,
450
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:11,966
but it's not true.
451
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,260
When people die, they go away,
452
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:17,847
and as much as we love them,
453
00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:20,850
they are gone forever.
454
00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:24,687
But I don't want the people
I love to go away forever.
455
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:28,024
Neither do I,
456
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:31,319
but when Mama was very young,
457
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:35,197
she had a special friend that died,
458
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:39,160
and that was hard for Mommy,
459
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:44,165
because it made her sad
when she thought about him.
460
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:50,046
But thanks to you,
I am thinking about him
461
00:18:50,171 --> 00:18:53,424
and all the wonderful times we had.
462
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:58,637
So he may be gone,
but he's not forgotten.
463
00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:02,308
And now I can tell you about him,
464
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:06,145
and you can tell your kids about him.
465
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:09,732
And so in some way,
466
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,817
he's always with us.
467
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:15,279
And you know what?
468
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:18,449
Your mom and I were talking,
469
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,743
and we actually remember
470
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:23,037
who the people in this picture are.
471
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,497
So they're not totally forgotten.
472
00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,248
Isn't that great?
473
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:27,792
Yeah.
474
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:31,212
Tell me about them
so they're in my memory too.
475
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,589
Oh, you know what?
476
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:36,759
I promised Aunt Darlene
that she could help.
477
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:40,346
She knows everything.
478
00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:42,723
Couldn't be righter.
479
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:46,560
But your mom probably knows
more about these people
480
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:48,813
because she is so much older than I am
481
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:52,024
and she always will be,
so she should start.
482
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:53,901
Okay.
483
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:57,446
Um, this super old dude there,
484
00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:02,451
that is, uh, Great, Great Uncle Seamus.
485
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:06,622
He invented the plow,
486
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:10,334
but forgot to patent it.
487
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:13,587
And he got drunk and fell into a well.
488
00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:17,675
Thereby proving that he's a Conner.
489
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:21,720
Darlene, you should talk
about this woman.
490
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:24,557
She has a very interesting story, right?
491
00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:26,016
Well, we'll see.
492
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:29,353
Uh...
493
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,063
oh, okay.
494
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:32,314
Okay.
495
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,691
I got it.
496
00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:37,778
That is your mom's namesake,
497
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:41,449
your great, great aunt Rebecca
498
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,367
who used to make up stories
499
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:46,036
and tell them to all
the children in the village
500
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:50,499
until they rose up against her
and set her pants on fire
501
00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:53,169
because she was a witch.
502
00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:55,337
A witch, you say?
503
00:20:55,463 --> 00:20:56,422
♪ ♪
504
00:20:58,382 --> 00:21:01,594
So, you don't believe
in any afterlife package?
505
00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:03,596
Mm-mm.
506
00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:06,515
Even Buddhists think
we come back as animals.
507
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,768
I mean, you are so used
to crapping on people,
508
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:13,355
think about how easy it
would be if you were a bird.
509
00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:14,982
Yeah, as a bird,
510
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:18,986
I could eat the worms
that ate your body.
511
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,322
It must be hard being you.
512
00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:23,574
That's why I'm not afraid of death.
513
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:24,992
Could use the break.
514
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,577
[laughs]
515
00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:28,496
[child giggles]
37262
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