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1
00:00:03,310 --> 00:00:05,639
Wow. Oatmeal. Good for you.
2
00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,389
Yeah.
3
00:00:07,390 --> 00:00:09,809
It's a healthy delivery system
for all the sugar, butter,
4
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,795
and cream I need to
start my day off right.
5
00:00:13,610 --> 00:00:15,189
That's weird.
6
00:00:15,190 --> 00:00:17,239
Robin wants to know how my
job interviews are going
7
00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:18,529
since old man Wellman
8
00:00:18,530 --> 00:00:20,779
stopped giving me bad
references last week.
9
00:00:20,780 --> 00:00:22,789
Apparently, he's too
busy being deposed
10
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,159
for polluting the groundwater.
11
00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:25,409
Well, that's great.
12
00:00:25,410 --> 00:00:27,669
Should make it easier
for you to get a job.
13
00:00:27,670 --> 00:00:30,879
Yes, except I'm still getting
shot down in my interviews,
14
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:31,959
which means it's not Wellman.
15
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:33,249
It's got to be something else.
16
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:34,669
And I gotta figure
this out quick
17
00:00:34,670 --> 00:00:36,219
'cause I've got a job
interview later today
18
00:00:36,220 --> 00:00:37,589
and we're running out of money.
19
00:00:37,590 --> 00:00:40,759
You never know what's
going on with interviewers.
20
00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:43,559
You could look like
the guy's ex-wife.
21
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,389
You could be talking, and
he's sitting there thinking,
22
00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:48,492
"I worshipped you, but you
took a bath with the gardener."
23
00:00:49,770 --> 00:00:52,149
Also, you're older and a woman.
24
00:00:52,150 --> 00:00:54,319
It's a full-on double hit.
25
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,949
Yeah, or people are just
intimidated by smart women.
26
00:00:57,950 --> 00:00:59,449
They just don't come
out and tell you that.
27
00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:02,240
Tell me about it. Try being
smart and having boobs.
28
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,738
Yeah. I used to just be smart.
29
00:01:08,290 --> 00:01:10,079
Hey, Darlene.
30
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:12,919
You free to pick up Beverly
Rose today after school?
31
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,669
Yeah. Unfortunately,
I don't have
32
00:01:14,670 --> 00:01:16,799
any food deliveries lined up.
33
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,049
Hey, if I drop her at your door
34
00:01:19,050 --> 00:01:22,339
still hot and properly
wrapped, can I get a tip?
35
00:01:22,340 --> 00:01:24,259
You know, if you need
cash, I could use some help
36
00:01:24,260 --> 00:01:26,559
at the store this week
while Ben's out of town.
37
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:28,429
Wow. Really? That
would be great.
38
00:01:28,430 --> 00:01:30,139
You're hired!
39
00:01:30,140 --> 00:01:32,269
You realize, of course,
I can't pay you as much
40
00:01:32,270 --> 00:01:35,112
because you're a smart old
woman and you intimidate me.
41
00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:40,319
And you know that I could
substitute a laxative
42
00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:43,013
for any one of your pills
and you wouldn't know.
43
00:01:44,450 --> 00:01:45,829
Not right away.
44
00:01:49,830 --> 00:01:51,499
Becky, refill on table three.
45
00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:52,999
Okay.
46
00:01:54,130 --> 00:01:55,130
Oh. What's up?
47
00:01:55,131 --> 00:01:57,379
Oh. Oh.
48
00:01:57,380 --> 00:02:00,219
It's Beverly Rose's teacher.
She wants to see me right away.
49
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,429
Beverly Rose okay?
50
00:02:01,430 --> 00:02:03,759
Yeah, she's acting out again.
51
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,679
I've been so busy
with school and work,
52
00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,509
I haven't been spending
any time with her.
53
00:02:07,510 --> 00:02:10,527
Well, you know,
kids are resilient.
54
00:02:11,310 --> 00:02:13,599
Isn't that what you're supposed
to say when you neglect them?
55
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,019
I
don't neglect her.
56
00:02:16,020 --> 00:02:18,536
I'd love to be around her
enough to neglect her.
57
00:02:19,110 --> 00:02:20,859
Ohh! Ow!
58
00:02:20,860 --> 00:02:23,909
Ooh! My God! Are you okay?
59
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:25,909
I'm fine. I'm not hurt. Yeah.
60
00:02:25,910 --> 00:02:28,829
Good. Good. 'Cause
you can't sue.
61
00:02:28,830 --> 00:02:31,369
Everybody enters this
restaurant at their own risk!
62
00:02:31,370 --> 00:02:34,879
It says so right on the menu.
63
00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:36,919
You know, I almost
wish that I was hurt.
64
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,669
Then I could at least
have some time off.
65
00:02:38,670 --> 00:02:41,549
Yeah. Well... Wait.
66
00:02:41,550 --> 00:02:43,089
What about workman's comp?
67
00:02:43,090 --> 00:02:45,139
What are you talking about?
68
00:02:45,140 --> 00:02:48,139
You pay for workman's
comp, but you never use it.
69
00:02:48,140 --> 00:02:50,889
This way, I could take
two paid weeks off,
70
00:02:50,890 --> 00:02:52,269
prepare for my finals,
71
00:02:52,270 --> 00:02:54,349
and spend more time
with Beverly Rose!
72
00:02:54,350 --> 00:02:55,479
Becky, I don't know.
73
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:56,899
Oh, please, Jackie.
74
00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:59,149
I can't afford it otherwise.
75
00:02:59,150 --> 00:03:01,609
Well, I don't... I guess
I'd be a little shorthanded,
76
00:03:01,610 --> 00:03:03,989
but maybe we could make it work.
77
00:03:03,990 --> 00:03:05,859
Thank you.
78
00:03:05,860 --> 00:03:07,029
Could you help me up?
79
00:03:07,030 --> 00:03:08,620
Yeah.
80
00:03:09,830 --> 00:03:12,079
Aaah!
81
00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:13,369
Y'all saw that, right?!
82
00:03:31,810 --> 00:03:34,809
- Captions by VITAC...
83
00:03:34,810 --> 00:03:36,019
"The Conners" is filmed
84
00:03:36,020 --> 00:03:38,609
in front of a live
studio audience.
85
00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:40,899
I personally think that candy
86
00:03:40,900 --> 00:03:42,399
is the most important
meal of the day,
87
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:45,065
and I can prove that statement
with my dental records.
88
00:03:46,070 --> 00:03:49,159
Heh. All dentures.
89
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,829
Anyway, I think this
interview went very well,
90
00:03:51,830 --> 00:03:53,659
and I am definitely keeping you
91
00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:55,579
under consideration
for this position.
92
00:03:55,580 --> 00:03:57,619
Ahh. I look forward
to hearing from you.
93
00:03:57,620 --> 00:03:58,879
Thank you very much.
94
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:00,919
Thanks for stopping by.
95
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:02,089
Excuse me?
96
00:04:02,090 --> 00:04:03,759
Uh, thanks for stopping by.
97
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,509
Oh, okay. "Thanks
for stopping by"
98
00:04:05,510 --> 00:04:08,389
is basically code for saying,
"We're never gonna hire you."
99
00:04:08,390 --> 00:04:09,849
Oh, no!
100
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,769
That is abso...
Absolutely not true.
101
00:04:12,770 --> 00:04:15,479
I just thought it was very sweet
102
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,695
that you decided to stop by.
103
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,479
Now, you take care of yourself.
104
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,109
Wait. "Take care of yourself"?
105
00:04:23,110 --> 00:04:25,899
That's even worse than
"Thanks for stopping by."
106
00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:29,159
They sound pleasant enough.
107
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:30,449
Okay. Look.
108
00:04:30,450 --> 00:04:33,199
This is my fourth
rejection in two weeks,
109
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,119
and, you know, I need work.
110
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,329
You could really help
me by just being honest
111
00:04:37,330 --> 00:04:38,869
and telling me why
you won't hire me.
112
00:04:38,870 --> 00:04:41,789
Ooh. I never said I
wasn't gonna hire you.
113
00:04:41,790 --> 00:04:44,459
I said I was keeping
you under consideration.
114
00:04:44,460 --> 00:04:47,299
And that's very good.
115
00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:50,139
Who would like a caramel
chew for the ride home?
116
00:04:50,140 --> 00:04:51,679
I don't need a parting gift.
117
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:52,929
I need a job.
118
00:04:52,930 --> 00:04:55,059
I would hire you,
119
00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:57,889
but I've still got to
talk to the guys upstairs.
120
00:04:57,890 --> 00:05:00,769
It's a one-story building.
121
00:05:00,770 --> 00:05:04,479
You are like a funny Terrier.
122
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:07,029
I meant the people above me.
123
00:05:07,030 --> 00:05:08,779
But who's above you?
It's Fudderman's Candy.
124
00:05:08,780 --> 00:05:10,160
You're Fudderman.
125
00:05:11,660 --> 00:05:13,949
You're forcing me to
be blunt here, Darlene.
126
00:05:13,950 --> 00:05:17,499
I didn't want to come out
and say this, but I will.
127
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:22,209
You may or may not
get a job here.
128
00:05:22,210 --> 00:05:23,999
Okay. Wait. So you're saying
that there actually...
129
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,129
There is a chance that
you would hire me.
130
00:05:26,130 --> 00:05:29,057
More than a chance.
A possibility.
131
00:05:33,260 --> 00:05:34,639
Hey. You ready to go?
132
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:39,269
This Red Robin Groupon is
burnin' a hole in my pocket.
133
00:05:39,270 --> 00:05:40,979
I'm still watching Beverly Rose.
134
00:05:40,980 --> 00:05:42,599
I'm just waiting for
Harris to take over.
135
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,819
Oh. Okay.
136
00:05:44,820 --> 00:05:47,439
So, how was work
today? Not good.
137
00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,739
Becky slipped and fell, so
she's out for two weeks.
138
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:51,819
Oh, my gosh! Is she hurt bad?
139
00:05:51,820 --> 00:05:54,319
Nah, she's just faking it
to get a couple of weeks
140
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:57,159
out of workman's comp so she can
catch up on some personal stuff.
141
00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:00,709
But it's a pain in
the ass!
142
00:06:00,710 --> 00:06:04,111
Yeah, and it's also
insurance fraud.
143
00:06:05,340 --> 00:06:07,669
No, no, I'm just taking
advantage of an insurance policy
144
00:06:07,670 --> 00:06:09,129
that I never use.
145
00:06:09,130 --> 00:06:10,589
Okay.
146
00:06:10,590 --> 00:06:12,969
Workman's comp isn't
a savings account
147
00:06:12,970 --> 00:06:16,139
that you can just dip into
whenever you feel like it.
148
00:06:16,140 --> 00:06:18,599
If Becky gets caught, you
both could get a huge fine
149
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:19,849
and maybe even jail time.
150
00:06:19,850 --> 00:06:21,809
Oh, come on!
151
00:06:21,810 --> 00:06:24,099
I'm sure people do
it all the time.
152
00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:26,269
Look. I've dealt with
this at the animal clinic.
153
00:06:26,270 --> 00:06:27,899
If you're faking it,
154
00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:30,359
they can pull your
insurance, shut you down,
155
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,649
and pretty soon you're
selling irregular jeans
156
00:06:32,650 --> 00:06:35,069
out of your trunk in
a stadium parking lot.
157
00:06:35,070 --> 00:06:38,449
I gotta talk to Becky
before she files that claim.
158
00:06:38,450 --> 00:06:41,829
If I get shut down, it's not
gonna be for workman's comp!
159
00:06:41,830 --> 00:06:43,209
It's gonna be by the Feds
160
00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:46,616
for serving USBA certified beef.
161
00:06:49,340 --> 00:06:50,799
O-Okay. I don't think
you should be...
162
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,669
You heard nothing!
163
00:06:55,970 --> 00:06:58,599
Welcome to Olinsky's.
164
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,719
How'd yesterday's interviews go?
165
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:04,979
Bad. Another man intimidated
by an intelligent woman.
166
00:07:04,980 --> 00:07:06,450
Well, that sucks.
167
00:07:06,475 --> 00:07:07,604
Candy?
168
00:07:07,629 --> 00:07:08,859
Uh, don't.
169
00:07:10,860 --> 00:07:13,149
Hi. How can we help you?
170
00:07:13,150 --> 00:07:15,109
Well, I'm turning my
basement into a she-shed
171
00:07:15,110 --> 00:07:17,029
and I need something to
hang a couple of paintings
172
00:07:17,030 --> 00:07:18,779
that I made during
Merlot-Paint night.
173
00:07:18,780 --> 00:07:22,699
More merlot than paint,
if you know what I mean.
174
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:24,329
I don't, so I'm
gonna turn you over
175
00:07:24,330 --> 00:07:27,419
to our she-shed expert, Darlene.
176
00:07:27,420 --> 00:07:28,999
Alright. Um...
177
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,839
Well, I have to admit I
have never had a she-shed,
178
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,759
but I can certainly get you a
few hooks for your paintings.
179
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:36,389
You gotta get a she-shed.
180
00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:40,929
It's like a man cave, but you
can express your inner goddess.
181
00:07:40,930 --> 00:07:42,269
Got it.
182
00:07:42,270 --> 00:07:44,729
Um, but are you really a goddess
183
00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:47,059
if you can only express it
in one room of the house?
184
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:51,279
Okay. Uh, so, how... how
heavy are these paintings?
185
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:52,819
Oh. I don't know.
186
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:56,109
They're about yea-by-yea.
187
00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:57,739
Okay, so, obviously you're not
188
00:07:57,740 --> 00:08:00,579
the goddess of
weights and measures.
189
00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:02,869
Oh. Um...
190
00:08:02,870 --> 00:08:06,789
So, these hold anything
up to 30 pounds.
191
00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:07,999
I'm sure they'll be fine.
192
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,709
Oh, great.
193
00:08:09,710 --> 00:08:12,669
But there's three.
I only need two.
194
00:08:12,670 --> 00:08:14,719
Why would I pay for three?
195
00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:19,389
Um, because they're only $1.19
196
00:08:19,390 --> 00:08:22,429
and you can save the extra
one for the next time
197
00:08:22,430 --> 00:08:24,099
you need to drink and paint
198
00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:28,349
to rationalize why you're so
proud of having your own shed.
199
00:08:28,350 --> 00:08:29,769
Is there a problem?
200
00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:31,609
Maybe I should just
shop somewhere else.
201
00:08:31,610 --> 00:08:34,819
Oh, no! Then we'll lose
out on a whole dollar!
202
00:08:34,820 --> 00:08:37,609
I'm sorry. Could I be
of some assistance here?
203
00:08:37,610 --> 00:08:39,359
I don't think so. Thank you.
204
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,619
Oh, man.
205
00:08:43,620 --> 00:08:46,159
God.
206
00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:49,079
I'm gonna say something I
hope you find constructive.
207
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,459
Your professional demeanor
208
00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:53,879
is somewhat combative
and condescending.
209
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:56,009
No, I was just being honest
210
00:08:56,010 --> 00:08:58,469
and I was trying to be funny
instead of just saying,
211
00:08:58,470 --> 00:09:01,759
"You're annoying
and stupid, lady."
212
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:05,559
Okay. Are you being "honest"
and "funny" in your interviews?
213
00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:08,139
Yes. That's my thing. Why?
214
00:09:08,140 --> 00:09:11,099
Well, maybe your "thing"
is keeping you unemployed.
215
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:13,689
No, everything you read
about going on interviews
216
00:09:13,690 --> 00:09:15,109
says to just be yourself.
217
00:09:15,110 --> 00:09:17,739
That's assuming
"yourself" is pleasant.
218
00:09:17,740 --> 00:09:19,489
Hey, I have been
working really hard
219
00:09:19,490 --> 00:09:21,279
on being a positive person.
220
00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:23,909
You can use positive words,
but if the energy underneath
221
00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:26,949
is "put up your dukes,"
you're gonna put people off.
222
00:09:26,950 --> 00:09:29,119
You know, what you see as
me "putting up my dukes"
223
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,749
is just me speaking my
mind and being forthright.
224
00:09:31,750 --> 00:09:34,089
You know what? At least my
next interviewer is a woman,
225
00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:35,419
and so she'll respect that,
226
00:09:35,420 --> 00:09:37,169
and I'm sure it will
go a lot better.
227
00:09:37,170 --> 00:09:40,469
I'm sorry I called you
condescending and combative.
228
00:09:40,470 --> 00:09:43,549
I should have said
petite and delusional.
229
00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:44,969
Men like you are the reason
230
00:09:44,970 --> 00:09:47,560
women paint, drink,
and live in sheds.
231
00:09:53,249 --> 00:09:55,689
So, Darlene, here at
DriveAmerica Tire,
232
00:09:55,690 --> 00:09:57,319
we like to do things
a little different.
233
00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:59,239
How do you feel about
getting your hands dirty?
234
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:02,109
I am not averse to getting
a little terra firma
235
00:10:02,110 --> 00:10:05,079
under these fingernails
if it helps the company
236
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:08,539
achieve the fullest realization
of its mission statement.
237
00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:11,119
You're smart. I like that.
238
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,669
Yeah, you do.
239
00:10:13,670 --> 00:10:16,709
But our customers don't.
They like plain talk.
240
00:10:16,710 --> 00:10:19,299
And I'm gonna be plain with you.
241
00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:20,719
I'm looking at your résumé,
242
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,929
and I like that you worked
in plastic for two years.
243
00:10:23,930 --> 00:10:28,059
Um, my only concern
is that before that,
244
00:10:28,060 --> 00:10:32,019
you were a writer and
you went to "art school."
245
00:10:32,020 --> 00:10:34,059
Well, that's why I'm
looking for a job.
246
00:10:34,060 --> 00:10:37,019
Because I went to art school.
247
00:10:37,020 --> 00:10:38,609
Ha! Yeah, well, I
can assure you...
248
00:10:38,610 --> 00:10:41,449
Nobody around here
went to art school.
249
00:10:41,450 --> 00:10:44,489
Okay, yeah, but
having a creative side
250
00:10:44,490 --> 00:10:46,829
doesn't mean I wouldn't
be a good hire.
251
00:10:46,830 --> 00:10:48,369
I mean, I grew up working class,
252
00:10:48,370 --> 00:10:50,539
and I didn't start in
management at Wellman.
253
00:10:50,540 --> 00:10:53,619
I started on the line,
and eventually I moved up.
254
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:56,879
Well, now we're working
in the plus column!
255
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,499
But we don't call
it moving "up."
256
00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:00,629
We call it moving
"over" to management.
257
00:11:00,630 --> 00:11:03,034
Because here, nobody's
better than anybody else.
258
00:11:04,890 --> 00:11:09,599
Okay. But not everybody
makes the same pay, right?
259
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:12,479
Because I worked my ass
off to excel in management,
260
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,059
and so I think I deserve more
than somebody who didn't.
261
00:11:15,060 --> 00:11:17,189
Yeah, well, there's no reason
to get defensive about it,
262
00:11:17,190 --> 00:11:19,519
but, I mean, if this is all
about the money for you, then...
263
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:20,779
No, I'm here because
I love tires.
264
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,690
Of course it's about the money!
265
00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:25,989
I-I gotta feed my kids.
266
00:11:25,990 --> 00:11:27,819
I'm not jumping
through all these hoops
267
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:29,699
so I can make less than I did.
268
00:11:29,700 --> 00:11:31,699
Okay. You're getting a little
worked up here, Darlene.
269
00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:33,749
Well, no, I'm only
responding this way
270
00:11:33,750 --> 00:11:35,499
because of the
crazy thing you said
271
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:38,624
about "moving over"
instead of "moving up."
272
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:43,129
I think it's time
you see yourself out.
273
00:11:43,130 --> 00:11:44,719
Oh. Really?
274
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:47,509
Are you sure you don't mean
see myself "under" or "around"?
275
00:11:47,510 --> 00:11:49,469
'Cause I'm not sure anybody
understands directions
276
00:11:49,470 --> 00:11:50,890
around here.
277
00:11:55,980 --> 00:11:57,439
Yeah. You know what?
278
00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:58,979
I-I can see where maybe
279
00:11:58,980 --> 00:12:02,399
I got a little combative
and condescending there.
280
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:04,189
That's totally my bad.
281
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:06,859
So, um... may we start again?
282
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,632
Thanks
for stopping by.
283
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,369
Yeah. That... That
sounds about right.
284
00:12:19,670 --> 00:12:21,919
Here comes Tiny Tim!
285
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,710
God bless us, everyone!
286
00:12:25,550 --> 00:12:28,089
Here you go. Look. I
know I said it was okay,
287
00:12:28,090 --> 00:12:31,049
but we can't go through with
this workman's comp claim.
288
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:33,429
I could lose my
insurance and go to jail.
289
00:12:33,430 --> 00:12:35,679
I can't go to jail.
290
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:39,599
They'd pass me around like
a cheap pack of cigarettes!
291
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,059
But you own the business.
292
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:42,899
You're the only person
who would complain.
293
00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:44,319
No, the insurance companies
294
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:45,899
seriously check
these things out.
295
00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:47,069
It's not worth the risk.
296
00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:51,159
My kid and my future
aren't worth the risk?
297
00:12:53,370 --> 00:12:57,459
Fine. Guess I better be
getting back to work, then.
298
00:12:57,460 --> 00:13:00,934
Look! I'm healed!
It's a miracle!
299
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,709
It's a crime. What
do you want me to do?
300
00:13:04,710 --> 00:13:07,759
Oh. No, no. I'm okay.
301
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:11,599
I don't need a career or
a daughter who loves me.
302
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,049
I'm content
303
00:13:13,050 --> 00:13:15,719
just giving this gentleman
a refill on his coffee.
304
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:17,059
He's drinking tea!
305
00:13:17,060 --> 00:13:18,770
Well, he's gettin' coffee!
306
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:23,519
Okay.
307
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:27,649
You were right. I am putting
people off with my attitude.
308
00:13:27,650 --> 00:13:30,779
God bless you for
finally telling her.
309
00:13:30,780 --> 00:13:32,819
I told you. You gotta
change what you're doing.
310
00:13:32,820 --> 00:13:35,079
How? I've got a job
interview tomorrow.
311
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,674
What am I supposed to
do... Not be myself?
312
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:40,539
You or me?
313
00:13:40,540 --> 00:13:42,829
Let me start.
314
00:13:42,830 --> 00:13:47,299
Mom, be as fake as possible!
315
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:50,009
What? I have spent
my entire life
316
00:13:50,010 --> 00:13:52,679
telling you kids, "Don't
be ashamed of who you are.
317
00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:54,429
Don't change for anybody."
318
00:13:54,430 --> 00:13:56,509
You don't know how many
times I had to grab a beer
319
00:13:56,510 --> 00:13:59,349
with some knucklehead just
to get a drywall contract
320
00:13:59,350 --> 00:14:02,899
and tell him his wife
looked like Farrah Fawcett
321
00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:05,610
when she looked more
like an actual faucet.
322
00:14:06,860 --> 00:14:08,819
Well, I don't know
how you did that.
323
00:14:08,820 --> 00:14:11,609
I did it because
I needed the job
324
00:14:11,610 --> 00:14:13,777
more than I needed to be honest.
325
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,239
Alright. Fine.
326
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,209
Who's having coffee here?
327
00:14:20,210 --> 00:14:21,369
None of us.
328
00:14:21,370 --> 00:14:22,999
Well, you are now.
329
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,574
Darlene, you're a
very strong match
330
00:14:30,599 --> 00:14:33,538
for the job we're offering.
331
00:14:33,563 --> 00:14:35,143
Bless your heart.
332
00:14:37,890 --> 00:14:40,389
Let me tell you a little
about The Chicago Can Company.
333
00:14:40,390 --> 00:14:44,309
We work hard here, but the key
to our success is we work fun!
334
00:14:44,310 --> 00:14:47,569
For example, Fridays, we do
improv games for team building!
335
00:14:47,570 --> 00:14:49,569
Yes, and...
336
00:14:49,570 --> 00:14:51,439
I love improv!
337
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:54,609
The only thing I love
more than improv is magic!
338
00:14:54,610 --> 00:14:58,539
Oh. Well, then you are going
to love our Magic Mondays.
339
00:14:58,540 --> 00:15:01,869
What's that behind your ear?
340
00:15:01,870 --> 00:15:05,289
Oh! A 25% increase
in productivity?
341
00:15:05,290 --> 00:15:07,959
Oh,
that is so clever!
342
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,549
Yeah.
343
00:15:09,550 --> 00:15:11,049
Uh, with all this fun,
344
00:15:11,050 --> 00:15:12,759
I can't believe you
get any work done.
345
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,469
Well, if we have
to work weekends
346
00:15:14,470 --> 00:15:18,509
to ensure we have enough fun
during the week, we do it!
347
00:15:18,510 --> 00:15:20,269
So, any questions for us?
348
00:15:20,270 --> 00:15:21,809
I don't think so.
349
00:15:21,810 --> 00:15:25,019
I mean, the salary is amazing.
The benefits are fantastic.
350
00:15:25,020 --> 00:15:26,649
I certainly come from a family
351
00:15:26,650 --> 00:15:30,279
where cans are a big
part of our diet.
352
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:31,899
Darlene, you're a perfect fit.
353
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:35,069
Oh, great. So when...
When can I start?
354
00:15:35,070 --> 00:15:36,739
Well, we're working
this Saturday,
355
00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:38,659
so you may as well
jump right in.
356
00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:40,699
But I warn you...
We haze the newbies.
357
00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:42,329
I hope you like
really long hugs.
358
00:15:45,710 --> 00:15:49,789
Finally the human connection
I've been craving!
359
00:15:49,790 --> 00:15:51,759
Alright. I'll
see you Saturday.
360
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:52,880
Okay.
361
00:16:02,140 --> 00:16:04,769
Um, I'm sorry.
362
00:16:04,770 --> 00:16:08,019
Can we start again? You
have not really met me.
363
00:16:08,020 --> 00:16:09,309
What do you mean?
364
00:16:09,310 --> 00:16:11,531
Uh, this is not me.
365
00:16:15,030 --> 00:16:16,739
This is me.
366
00:16:16,740 --> 00:16:18,200
Oh.
367
00:16:19,870 --> 00:16:22,541
Did something tragic happen
the day they took your picture?
368
00:16:23,660 --> 00:16:25,209
Nope.
369
00:16:25,210 --> 00:16:27,579
I'm, uh... I'm not a smiler.
370
00:16:27,580 --> 00:16:29,669
Yeah, and I'm... I'm not fun.
371
00:16:29,670 --> 00:16:33,419
But I could be a great
asset to this company
372
00:16:33,420 --> 00:16:35,419
and increase productivity.
373
00:16:35,420 --> 00:16:38,179
Honestly, I think your
people would be much happier
374
00:16:38,180 --> 00:16:40,799
and work harder
sacrificing the magic shows
375
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,349
if they didn't have to
work on the weekends.
376
00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:46,769
Wow. It took a lot of
courage to say that.
377
00:16:46,770 --> 00:16:48,849
But, "Thanks for
stopping by," right?
378
00:16:48,850 --> 00:16:50,979
Well, clearly, the job
we're talking about
379
00:16:50,980 --> 00:16:52,899
isn't right for you.
380
00:16:52,900 --> 00:16:55,678
Yeah. I understand.
Thank you for your time.
381
00:16:57,860 --> 00:16:59,279
Wait.
382
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,369
But I do have a
managerial position
383
00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:03,449
that starts next month
in accounts receivable.
384
00:17:03,450 --> 00:17:04,989
I need someone who
can be ruthless
385
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:06,999
and no-holds-barred
in collecting money.
386
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,499
Really?! Oh, my God!
387
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:12,039
I've been on the other end of
those phone calls for years!
388
00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:15,259
I've been waiting
for my turn! Yes!
389
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,929
Uh, hey, Beck?
390
00:17:21,930 --> 00:17:23,809
I'm the one who told Jackie
391
00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:26,979
a fraudulent insurance
claim was a bad idea.
392
00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:28,599
She was willing to do it,
393
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,479
so if you want to be mad
at somebody, be mad at me.
394
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:33,359
I needed some help from
my family, Neville.
395
00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:35,109
Is that too much to ask?
396
00:17:35,110 --> 00:17:38,359
Not at all, but you seem
to ask a lot from them
397
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:40,029
and you do it frequently.
398
00:17:40,030 --> 00:17:42,699
Everybody in this
family does that!
399
00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:45,659
Darlene moved back
home just like I did.
400
00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:49,249
I... I get the family dynamic,
401
00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:51,579
but you're now
living with Darlene,
402
00:17:51,580 --> 00:17:53,749
everyone helps
with Beverly Rose,
403
00:17:53,750 --> 00:17:56,879
your aunt gave you a
job, and now you're upset
404
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,799
because she won't help
you commit a felony?
405
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,589
I do stuff for her.
406
00:18:00,590 --> 00:18:03,509
The other day, I opened The
Lunch Box at 6:00 a. m...
407
00:18:03,510 --> 00:18:05,009
By myself!
408
00:18:05,010 --> 00:18:07,389
That's because you had
class at 7:00 a. m.
409
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:09,849
And wanted breakfast!
410
00:18:09,850 --> 00:18:11,479
And when Jackie got here,
411
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,309
you were gone, the
door was wide open,
412
00:18:13,310 --> 00:18:15,610
and there was a guy
sleeping in the kitchen!
413
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,989
Fine. I screwed up.
414
00:18:19,990 --> 00:18:21,859
But I'm overwhelmed.
415
00:18:21,860 --> 00:18:24,124
I have a kid and
I'm going to school,
416
00:18:24,149 --> 00:18:26,189
and I'm doing it all sober.
417
00:18:27,910 --> 00:18:31,159
Becky, my late brother had a
lot of substance problems, too,
418
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:32,919
so I learned a lot
about codependency,
419
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,709
and it's not just substances.
420
00:18:34,710 --> 00:18:36,839
You can become overly dependent
421
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:40,005
on just about anything,
and that includes family.
422
00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:49,019
You know, when you make me
realize I'm wrong so nicely,
423
00:18:49,020 --> 00:18:50,929
it's harder to imagine
you being eaten
424
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:53,004
by one of your big snakes.
425
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:56,649
Thank you, sweetie. Okay.
426
00:18:56,650 --> 00:18:58,157
I'll see you at home. Okay.
427
00:19:02,150 --> 00:19:03,359
Hey, Jackie?
428
00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:06,029
Um, I really do appreciate
429
00:19:06,030 --> 00:19:07,579
everything that
you've done for me.
430
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:08,989
Thank you.
431
00:19:08,990 --> 00:19:11,119
It was stupid to ask you
to do something illegal.
432
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:13,329
Well, I just couldn't
risk losing the business.
433
00:19:13,330 --> 00:19:14,999
It's my life. I know that.
434
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:19,089
And I made the mistake of
telling Dudley Do-Right.
435
00:19:19,090 --> 00:19:22,089
I love the guy, but he's
such a straight arrow.
436
00:19:22,090 --> 00:19:23,929
He even took away my price gun
437
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:26,259
that I like to
take to T. J. Maxx.
438
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,100
Hey.
439
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:33,889
I don't know how
you got in here,
440
00:19:33,890 --> 00:19:35,940
but I'm not gonna
join your church.
441
00:19:37,770 --> 00:19:39,189
I did it.
442
00:19:39,190 --> 00:19:41,399
I became somebody
completely different,
443
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,689
and I got the job.
444
00:19:42,690 --> 00:19:44,609
Congratulations!
445
00:19:44,610 --> 00:19:47,369
And then I lost it
because I couldn't imagine
446
00:19:47,370 --> 00:19:49,739
being that person every day
for the rest of my life.
447
00:19:49,740 --> 00:19:51,120
That tracks.
448
00:19:52,660 --> 00:19:55,289
However, then I got another job
449
00:19:55,290 --> 00:19:58,169
because they need somebody
in accounts receivable
450
00:19:58,170 --> 00:20:00,669
who is combative
and condescending.
451
00:20:00,670 --> 00:20:03,259
That also tracks.
452
00:20:03,260 --> 00:20:07,179
So... I stopped and
bought this to celebrate.
453
00:20:07,180 --> 00:20:08,759
Champagne.
454
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:12,007
Ooh! Beer's high-falutin'
French cousin!
455
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:16,139
So how are you feeling?
456
00:20:16,140 --> 00:20:18,149
I feel good.
457
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:20,229
Yeah, like I was tested,
458
00:20:20,230 --> 00:20:22,819
and I was totally ready to
throw out everything I am
459
00:20:22,820 --> 00:20:25,069
to take care of my
family, and then...
460
00:20:25,070 --> 00:20:27,409
I don't know. I just felt
like I was lying to somebody.
461
00:20:27,410 --> 00:20:29,199
And when I told the truth,
462
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:31,739
it paid off and I
got a job anyway.
463
00:20:31,740 --> 00:20:33,949
So what you've learned is
there's room for combative
464
00:20:33,950 --> 00:20:37,459
and condescending people
in this world, too.
465
00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:39,941
Hey, at least I'm not a liar.
466
00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:44,339
Well, no, of course I
lie all the time, but...
467
00:20:44,340 --> 00:20:47,179
not to this guy and not today,
468
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:48,629
and that's what counts.
469
00:20:48,630 --> 00:20:50,638
Live for the moment, right?
470
00:20:50,663 --> 00:20:52,509
Cheers.
471
00:20:52,510 --> 00:20:54,680
Zut alors. Zut alors!
472
00:20:56,961 --> 00:20:58,629
- Uh, apple pie, please.
- Slice of apple.
473
00:20:58,654 --> 00:21:01,769
Ahh! I only
have one piece left.
474
00:21:01,770 --> 00:21:04,529
Oh. You take it.
475
00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:07,279
Thank you, but it
is yours, I insist.
476
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,949
That is so kind,
but I can't enjoy it
477
00:21:09,950 --> 00:21:11,739
with you sitting
there wanting it.
478
00:21:11,740 --> 00:21:13,449
Aren't
you an angel.
479
00:21:13,450 --> 00:21:16,079
But, nope, I have
cleared it from my mind.
480
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,039
Well, we're gonna have
more pie tomorrow,
481
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:21,080
so see if you two can
"polite it out" by then.
482
00:21:23,429 --> 00:21:25,059
What a bitch.
36008
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