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1
00:00:04,377 --> 00:00:05,831
Look at us,
2
00:00:05,856 --> 00:00:08,524
getting up early
to do our homework.
3
00:00:08,549 --> 00:00:11,520
This way, we're not in Aunt
Darlene and Uncle Ben's way,
4
00:00:11,521 --> 00:00:13,231
and they can enjoy
their new house.
5
00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:17,234
Honey.
6
00:00:18,231 --> 00:00:19,774
Where's your clay dinosaur?
7
00:00:21,701 --> 00:00:23,911
I don't know. It was
here a minute ago.
8
00:00:25,428 --> 00:00:27,286
It's okay, we can fix it.
9
00:00:27,287 --> 00:00:28,537
Okay.
10
00:00:28,538 --> 00:00:30,122
Uh, you know what?
11
00:00:30,123 --> 00:00:32,209
Let's just call this
a rock and move on.
12
00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:35,878
Mommy's got a lot of work
to do on her psych paper.
13
00:00:35,879 --> 00:00:37,129
Okay, I get it.
14
00:00:37,130 --> 00:00:39,006
You don't like me
working in bed.
15
00:00:39,007 --> 00:00:40,966
Is it really that big a deal?
16
00:00:40,967 --> 00:00:42,218
Yeah, because you
leave the lights on
17
00:00:42,219 --> 00:00:43,594
half the night, too.
18
00:00:43,595 --> 00:00:45,179
I had a dream the cops
were trying to get me
19
00:00:45,180 --> 00:00:46,639
to confess to something.
20
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:47,807
I-I told them I did it
21
00:00:47,808 --> 00:00:50,726
just so I could go to
prison where it's dark.
22
00:00:50,727 --> 00:00:53,104
Look, it's my bed,
too, so, I don't know,
23
00:00:53,105 --> 00:00:55,272
can't you just
wear a sleep mask?
24
00:00:55,273 --> 00:00:57,233
No, because I can
hear you typing, too.
25
00:00:57,234 --> 00:00:59,652
Well, then wear
earplugs. Oh, really?
26
00:00:59,653 --> 00:01:01,278
Well, why don't I just
shove a rag in my mouth
27
00:01:01,279 --> 00:01:02,279
so that I can't complain?
28
00:01:03,782 --> 00:01:05,052
That would be terrible.
29
00:01:06,372 --> 00:01:08,077
And it's not about that.
30
00:01:08,078 --> 00:01:09,703
It's about catching up
at the end of the day.
31
00:01:09,704 --> 00:01:10,996
That's the time
where we're supposed to be
32
00:01:10,997 --> 00:01:12,581
talking to each other.
33
00:01:12,582 --> 00:01:14,208
Come on, sweetie.
34
00:01:14,209 --> 00:01:16,293
Let's leave Aunt Darlene
and Uncle Ben alone
35
00:01:16,294 --> 00:01:17,503
before you start thinking
36
00:01:17,504 --> 00:01:19,506
this is what a normal
marriage looks like.
37
00:01:21,758 --> 00:01:23,092
The computer on the bed
38
00:01:23,093 --> 00:01:24,593
isn't the only thing
that's annoying me.
39
00:01:24,594 --> 00:01:26,053
There's other stuff,
too, you know.
40
00:01:26,054 --> 00:01:29,224
Whoa, just what I love in
an argument... add-ons.
41
00:01:31,226 --> 00:01:33,769
And... And I almost
killed myself
42
00:01:33,770 --> 00:01:35,271
tripping over your sweater.
43
00:01:35,272 --> 00:01:36,605
You know, we've got
a brand-new house,
44
00:01:36,606 --> 00:01:39,191
and you're just throwing
stuff on the floor.
45
00:01:39,192 --> 00:01:41,652
I bet even Beverly Rose
wouldn't throw her stuff
46
00:01:41,653 --> 00:01:43,779
all over the floor.
47
00:01:43,780 --> 00:01:45,574
I don't want to
be a part of this.
48
00:01:50,198 --> 00:01:52,246
You see? Even children
know you're wrong
49
00:01:52,247 --> 00:01:53,767
and don't want to be
anywhere near you.
50
00:01:57,544 --> 00:01:58,900
Where's Ben?
51
00:01:58,925 --> 00:02:01,635
He loves weird, old movies
like "Urban Cowboy."
52
00:02:01,660 --> 00:02:03,340
He's still at the
hardware store.
53
00:02:03,341 --> 00:02:04,885
We're keeping it
open till 9:00 now.
54
00:02:05,552 --> 00:02:06,920
Hm.
55
00:02:06,945 --> 00:02:09,281
You see Travolta and
Debra Winger in bed?
56
00:02:09,306 --> 00:02:10,849
You notice neither
of them are working.
57
00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:16,228
Did all those country bars
really have mechanical bulls?
58
00:02:16,229 --> 00:02:18,147
Was that a thing?
59
00:02:18,148 --> 00:02:19,899
Oh, not only country bars.
60
00:02:19,900 --> 00:02:21,025
They had 'em at county fairs.
61
00:02:21,026 --> 00:02:22,949
They even had one at the mall.
62
00:02:22,974 --> 00:02:24,695
They took it out
after some drunk woman
63
00:02:24,696 --> 00:02:25,989
got thrown into a fountain.
64
00:02:27,496 --> 00:02:30,095
I rode one once at
the county fair.
65
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:31,803
Stayed on for the full
ride and then some.
66
00:02:31,828 --> 00:02:33,996
Broke the record.
67
00:02:33,997 --> 00:02:38,250
Hmm, you were pretty
big back then.
68
00:02:38,251 --> 00:02:41,170
Uh, are you sure the
bull was actually moving,
69
00:02:41,171 --> 00:02:45,300
or did it drop to its
knees and beg for mercy?
70
00:02:46,593 --> 00:02:48,802
Actually, they set it on
high and put it in reverse,
71
00:02:48,803 --> 00:02:50,243
and they still
couldn't throw me off.
72
00:02:51,348 --> 00:02:53,932
I think you're
remembering it wrong.
73
00:02:53,957 --> 00:02:55,392
Mom told me you were so drunk,
74
00:02:55,393 --> 00:02:58,812
you fell off the bull
before it even started
75
00:02:58,813 --> 00:03:00,147
and just laid on the mat going,
76
00:03:00,148 --> 00:03:02,567
"Get a picture! I'm doing it!"
77
00:03:04,319 --> 00:03:06,028
Not true.
78
00:03:06,029 --> 00:03:09,184
Your mom was just trying
to get you guys to laugh.
79
00:03:09,209 --> 00:03:11,325
Or maybe you're remembering
what she said wrong.
80
00:03:11,326 --> 00:03:13,035
I was there. I
know it happened.
81
00:03:13,036 --> 00:03:14,954
Oh, it's okay, Dad.
82
00:03:14,955 --> 00:03:16,247
You're getting older.
83
00:03:16,248 --> 00:03:18,332
It's natural to look
back on your life
84
00:03:18,333 --> 00:03:20,453
and feel like you wasted it
and make up a lot of crap.
85
00:03:21,753 --> 00:03:23,420
I'm not doing that.
86
00:03:23,421 --> 00:03:25,297
Your mom took a video
of me riding the bull,
87
00:03:25,298 --> 00:03:26,674
if you need to see it for proof.
88
00:03:26,675 --> 00:03:28,509
I-It's not a big deal, Grandpa.
89
00:03:28,510 --> 00:03:29,885
I'm sure you rode the bull...
90
00:03:29,886 --> 00:03:31,679
and you were a hero
in World War II,
91
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,640
and you invented the cotton gin.
92
00:03:34,641 --> 00:03:36,809
I mean, those are
really cool stories,
93
00:03:36,810 --> 00:03:37,852
even if they aren't true.
94
00:03:39,113 --> 00:03:41,228
You know I wasn't
in World War II.
95
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,898
Wow, that's a huge thing
to forget, Grandpa.
96
00:03:46,842 --> 00:03:49,571
Alright, you've
all had your fun.
97
00:03:49,572 --> 00:03:52,491
Now I'm gonna prove I'm
right by showing you
98
00:03:52,492 --> 00:03:53,867
that video your mom took.
99
00:03:53,868 --> 00:03:56,328
I got a whole box of 'em
100
00:03:56,329 --> 00:03:58,164
right back here in
this closet somewhere.
101
00:03:59,374 --> 00:04:01,001
I'm sure I put that box in here.
102
00:04:02,168 --> 00:04:04,838
You sure you didn't leave it
on the beaches of Normandy?
103
00:04:06,631 --> 00:04:08,299
What are you doing?
104
00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:11,135
I'm getting this all on
video 'cause, later on,
105
00:04:11,136 --> 00:04:12,886
you are gonna say
that you knew exactly
106
00:04:12,887 --> 00:04:14,167
where the box was
the whole time.
107
00:04:32,916 --> 00:04:35,918
- - Captions by VITAC...
108
00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:37,722
"The Conners" is recorded
109
00:04:37,747 --> 00:04:39,664
in front of a live
studio audience.
110
00:04:39,712 --> 00:04:41,123
Hey, I really need your help.
111
00:04:41,124 --> 00:04:42,791
You got a minute? Becky: No.
112
00:04:42,792 --> 00:04:45,252
I've got a paper on the
moralities of everyday life
113
00:04:45,253 --> 00:04:47,504
due by midnight, and it counts
for two-thirds of my grade.
114
00:04:47,505 --> 00:04:48,589
Sorry. Oh.
115
00:04:48,590 --> 00:04:50,467
Well, this definitely
is about that.
116
00:04:52,302 --> 00:04:54,511
Your sister put a parental lock
117
00:04:54,512 --> 00:04:55,764
on my computer.
118
00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:00,182
And I can't log in to
work after 11:00 p. m.
119
00:05:01,075 --> 00:05:02,510
Looks like that's
your new bedtime.
120
00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:03,396
I told you she was nuts.
121
00:05:03,397 --> 00:05:04,606
Byyye.
122
00:05:05,627 --> 00:05:07,746
I have to work in bed.
123
00:05:07,771 --> 00:05:10,069
I can't do my paperwork
at the hardware store.
124
00:05:10,070 --> 00:05:11,779
There's too many interruptions.
125
00:05:11,780 --> 00:05:13,280
I mean, when I get into bed,
126
00:05:13,281 --> 00:05:15,366
I can really focus.
127
00:05:15,367 --> 00:05:17,660
You know, I'm already
staying open longer hours,
128
00:05:17,661 --> 00:05:20,680
but I'm trying to find other
ways to increase profits.
129
00:05:20,705 --> 00:05:23,707
Anyway, do you know
Darlene's passwords?
130
00:05:23,708 --> 00:05:26,001
Is it birthdays,
uh, names, what?
131
00:05:26,002 --> 00:05:27,252
That'd be way too obvious.
132
00:05:27,253 --> 00:05:28,712
Have you tried
"flannel-bitch-queen"?
133
00:05:28,713 --> 00:05:29,756
Ooh, no.
134
00:05:32,319 --> 00:05:34,099
That's all lowercase, no spaces?
135
00:05:35,637 --> 00:05:37,137
No! Man!
136
00:05:37,138 --> 00:05:38,598
Now I'm locked out
for 15 minutes.
137
00:05:40,690 --> 00:05:42,226
Look, I'm trying to
finish this paper.
138
00:05:42,227 --> 00:05:43,310
You gotta go.
139
00:05:43,311 --> 00:05:45,229
Oh, of course. I'm
sorry. You go ahead.
140
00:05:45,230 --> 00:05:46,355
If you don't mind, I'm
just going to sit here
141
00:05:46,356 --> 00:05:47,940
and cool off,
142
00:05:47,941 --> 00:05:49,733
keep trying things when
this thing opens back up.
143
00:05:49,734 --> 00:05:50,984
That's fine.
144
00:05:50,985 --> 00:05:53,059
Damn it!
145
00:05:53,084 --> 00:05:56,031
I mean, there are so many
other things to worry about,
146
00:05:56,032 --> 00:05:57,424
and this is what she picks?
147
00:06:01,746 --> 00:06:03,707
Sorry. Do your thing.
148
00:06:09,614 --> 00:06:11,130
I don't know what
her problem is!
149
00:06:11,131 --> 00:06:13,184
It's like, look
at us. Look at us.
150
00:06:13,209 --> 00:06:15,092
You need to work, and
I'm leaving you alone.
151
00:06:15,093 --> 00:06:16,293
Why can't she do that for me?!
152
00:06:21,725 --> 00:06:25,477
Let me guess... Somebody
hid a KitKat bar,
153
00:06:25,478 --> 00:06:27,689
and now he can't
remember where he put it.
154
00:06:28,979 --> 00:06:31,400
No, I'm looking for
the damn family movies.
155
00:06:31,401 --> 00:06:33,527
Don't you have someone
waiting for you at home?
156
00:06:33,528 --> 00:06:35,529
I told Louise I'd check on you
157
00:06:35,530 --> 00:06:36,864
while she's on tour.
158
00:06:36,865 --> 00:06:38,657
So, are you feeling dizzy?
159
00:06:38,658 --> 00:06:40,451
Have blurred vision?
Shortness of breath?
160
00:06:40,452 --> 00:06:42,286
Slurred speech?
161
00:06:42,287 --> 00:06:43,954
Only since you walked in.
162
00:06:43,955 --> 00:06:45,706
Alright, well, then you're fine
163
00:06:45,707 --> 00:06:47,459
and I'm on a beer break.
164
00:06:48,895 --> 00:06:51,170
You could take your
beer break at home,
165
00:06:51,171 --> 00:06:53,130
'cause I'm not some
doddering old-timer
166
00:06:53,131 --> 00:06:54,465
that needs to be checked on.
167
00:06:54,466 --> 00:06:56,216
Yeah. You know, you
really ought to get
168
00:06:56,217 --> 00:06:58,552
all those tapes and
movies digitized.
169
00:06:58,553 --> 00:07:00,805
It's 2023, Nana.
170
00:07:02,015 --> 00:07:03,794
Hold it.
171
00:07:03,819 --> 00:07:05,225
I've heard that
somewhere before.
172
00:07:05,226 --> 00:07:06,548
You!
173
00:07:06,662 --> 00:07:09,229
You said that, like,
four years ago,
174
00:07:09,230 --> 00:07:11,666
and I gave you the
movies to digitize!
175
00:07:11,691 --> 00:07:13,299
No, you didn't. Must
be somebody else.
176
00:07:14,609 --> 00:07:17,402
No, I know I gave
them to you, Nana.
177
00:07:17,427 --> 00:07:19,553
And I need that tape of me
riding the mechanical bull
178
00:07:19,578 --> 00:07:20,578
to show the kids.
179
00:07:20,603 --> 00:07:22,646
That's nice, but
I don't have them.
180
00:07:22,671 --> 00:07:24,451
I hate those bulls.
181
00:07:24,476 --> 00:07:25,935
One of them...
182
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:28,045
One of them threw me in
the fountain at the mall.
183
00:07:30,877 --> 00:07:34,129
Is this about you
worrying about your memory
184
00:07:34,130 --> 00:07:36,548
because of everything
going on with my mom?
185
00:07:36,549 --> 00:07:38,926
No, this is about losing
all our family's memories.
186
00:07:38,927 --> 00:07:40,344
You have to have
that stuff, Jackie.
187
00:07:40,345 --> 00:07:41,595
I don't.
188
00:07:41,596 --> 00:07:42,596
I went through everything before
189
00:07:42,597 --> 00:07:44,264
I moved in with Neville, Dan.
190
00:07:44,265 --> 00:07:45,307
Then you lost them!
191
00:07:45,308 --> 00:07:46,975
You're always doing
crap like this!
192
00:07:46,976 --> 00:07:49,394
You didn't give me anything!
193
00:07:49,395 --> 00:07:52,147
And I'm tired of you
blaming me for everything!
194
00:07:52,148 --> 00:07:54,358
That's what you've been
doing for the past 40 years!
195
00:07:54,359 --> 00:07:55,484
And how come it's always because
196
00:07:55,485 --> 00:07:57,277
I'm some flibberty-jibbit
197
00:07:57,278 --> 00:07:59,488
and it's never
because you're wrong?!
198
00:07:59,489 --> 00:08:00,948
Because I'm not wrong!
199
00:08:00,949 --> 00:08:02,866
You've been doing stuff
without thinking for years,
200
00:08:02,867 --> 00:08:05,160
like when you took Darlene
to see "The Exorcist"
201
00:08:05,161 --> 00:08:06,161
when she was 10.
202
00:08:06,162 --> 00:08:07,830
That's why she's the way she is.
203
00:08:09,249 --> 00:08:11,292
I didn't know what
the movie was about!
204
00:08:13,044 --> 00:08:14,294
And by the time I did,
205
00:08:14,295 --> 00:08:15,879
that devil thing had obviously
206
00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:17,047
flown off the screen
207
00:08:17,048 --> 00:08:18,841
and embedded itself in her soul.
208
00:08:20,176 --> 00:08:23,053
But you weren't careful!
209
00:08:23,054 --> 00:08:25,264
And now you've lost our
entire family history...
210
00:08:25,265 --> 00:08:26,348
Everything I had of Roseanne,
211
00:08:26,349 --> 00:08:28,058
everything of the kids.
212
00:08:28,059 --> 00:08:29,226
It's like we never existed.
213
00:08:29,227 --> 00:08:30,477
No, I would never.
214
00:08:30,478 --> 00:08:33,564
I would guard every
painful, pathetic,
215
00:08:33,565 --> 00:08:35,983
impoverished moment
with my life.
216
00:08:35,984 --> 00:08:38,193
You're remembering things wrong,
217
00:08:38,194 --> 00:08:39,945
And I'm remembering it right.
218
00:08:39,946 --> 00:08:42,114
No! Yeah!
219
00:08:42,115 --> 00:08:44,533
Now your feelings are hurt, too!
220
00:08:53,126 --> 00:08:55,002
What part of my caffeine shakes
221
00:08:55,003 --> 00:08:56,670
and cortisol-induced
BO says to you,
222
00:08:56,671 --> 00:08:58,214
"Come sit for a spell"?
223
00:08:59,841 --> 00:09:01,300
I-I need to talk.
224
00:09:01,301 --> 00:09:03,176
Ben made me unlock his computer,
225
00:09:03,177 --> 00:09:05,137
and now he's hiding away
from me in the basement
226
00:09:05,138 --> 00:09:06,680
instead of coming to bed.
227
00:09:06,681 --> 00:09:08,099
Problem solved. Byyye!
228
00:09:09,350 --> 00:09:11,268
I think he's avoiding
me. You know what?
229
00:09:11,269 --> 00:09:12,311
He spends a lot
of time with you.
230
00:09:12,312 --> 00:09:13,770
Has he said anything
about avoiding me?
231
00:09:13,771 --> 00:09:15,857
No, but I'm sure
he is. We all are.
232
00:09:17,609 --> 00:09:19,861
Look, I really need
to finish this paper.
233
00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:23,322
Oh, my God, I only have
two minutes to send it in.
234
00:09:23,323 --> 00:09:25,240
Alright, I only need one.
235
00:09:25,241 --> 00:09:26,825
Do you think that
Ben is avoiding me
236
00:09:26,826 --> 00:09:28,410
because he's not
attracted to me anymore?
237
00:09:28,411 --> 00:09:30,037
Well, it's not like
you let yourself go.
238
00:09:30,038 --> 00:09:31,998
You let yourself go in
kindergarten, so no.
239
00:09:34,334 --> 00:09:35,334
Yeah, I didn't think so.
240
00:09:35,335 --> 00:09:36,586
So then what is it?
241
00:09:38,212 --> 00:09:39,130
Is he avoiding me
because I've been
242
00:09:39,131 --> 00:09:40,797
so fanatical about the house?
243
00:09:40,798 --> 00:09:42,841
That's gotta be it. Byyye!
244
00:09:42,842 --> 00:09:44,801
Because you know what?
245
00:09:44,802 --> 00:09:46,011
It could also be
that I pressured...
246
00:09:46,012 --> 00:09:47,472
Nope! Get out!
247
00:09:49,807 --> 00:09:52,225
Oh. Oh.
248
00:09:52,226 --> 00:09:53,393
Send, send, send,
send, send, send, send,
249
00:09:53,394 --> 00:09:55,687
send, send, send, send, send!
250
00:09:55,688 --> 00:09:57,565
Oh!
251
00:10:00,902 --> 00:10:01,778
You're not getting
any work done.
252
00:10:01,779 --> 00:10:03,111
Stop playing Wordle.
253
00:10:03,112 --> 00:10:04,530
Nobody cares if you
get it in three.
254
00:10:05,782 --> 00:10:07,199
I'm not playing Wordle.
255
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:08,575
I'm checking the school portal
256
00:10:08,576 --> 00:10:10,160
for the grade on my paper.
257
00:10:10,161 --> 00:10:11,870
Damn!
258
00:10:11,871 --> 00:10:13,330
Nothing yet.
259
00:10:13,331 --> 00:10:15,415
I know my professor's
gonna drop it a grade
260
00:10:15,416 --> 00:10:17,376
for being late, but
please make it be
261
00:10:17,377 --> 00:10:18,543
a "B" and not a "C."
262
00:10:18,544 --> 00:10:19,795
Why was it late?
263
00:10:19,796 --> 00:10:21,129
Now
that it's just me,
264
00:10:21,130 --> 00:10:22,714
Darlene, and Ben in the house,
265
00:10:22,715 --> 00:10:24,716
they've started dumping
all their problems on me
266
00:10:24,717 --> 00:10:26,009
instead of working it
out with each other.
267
00:10:26,010 --> 00:10:27,928
Ugh! Childish.
268
00:10:27,929 --> 00:10:29,137
Grown-ups have to have the guts
269
00:10:29,138 --> 00:10:30,258
to say what's on their mind.
270
00:10:32,058 --> 00:10:34,810
I'm not talking to you!
271
00:10:34,811 --> 00:10:36,311
Please tell your aunt
272
00:10:36,312 --> 00:10:38,188
that I am the one
not talking to her.
273
00:10:38,189 --> 00:10:40,524
Well, ask your father what
he's doing here, then.
274
00:10:40,525 --> 00:10:43,819
You know, sound
does not stop at me.
275
00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:46,405
The two of you can
hear each other.
276
00:10:46,406 --> 00:10:48,865
I only came in here
because I have a tab.
277
00:10:48,866 --> 00:10:50,534
Hopefully, Jackie
didn't send my burger
278
00:10:50,535 --> 00:10:51,702
to get digitized
279
00:10:51,703 --> 00:10:53,870
and serve my home movies
to a different customer.
280
00:10:53,871 --> 00:10:56,039
Here's your dumb burger.
281
00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:57,833
You know why I didn't
lose the order?
282
00:10:57,834 --> 00:11:00,003
Because this time, you
actually gave it to me.
283
00:11:01,546 --> 00:11:03,755
What is going on?
284
00:11:03,756 --> 00:11:07,175
Jackie lost all our
family pictures and home movies.
285
00:11:07,176 --> 00:11:08,677
Ugh, your memory
is going, old man.
286
00:11:08,678 --> 00:11:10,637
This was all you.
287
00:11:10,638 --> 00:11:12,264
Oh, my God, you
guys lost everything
288
00:11:12,265 --> 00:11:14,349
from our childhood?
289
00:11:14,350 --> 00:11:16,435
I-I was gonna show
Beverly Rose all that
290
00:11:16,436 --> 00:11:19,354
to prove that Darlene has always
looked like a sad little rag doll
291
00:11:19,355 --> 00:11:21,065
and I've been
stunning since birth.
292
00:11:22,316 --> 00:11:25,360
Well, maybe if
your aunt realized
293
00:11:25,361 --> 00:11:27,070
she has the memory of
an old prizefighter,
294
00:11:27,071 --> 00:11:29,531
she'd take responsibility
and start looking for them.
295
00:11:29,532 --> 00:11:31,992
I don't care who's to blame.
296
00:11:31,993 --> 00:11:34,953
Not counting Bev, you
guys are the oldest two
297
00:11:34,954 --> 00:11:37,039
living members of this family.
298
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,916
You need to sit down and
record our family history
299
00:11:39,917 --> 00:11:40,960
before it's gone forever.
300
00:11:43,087 --> 00:11:45,047
Tell your father,
301
00:11:45,048 --> 00:11:47,507
if he's willing
to do it, I will.
302
00:11:47,508 --> 00:11:49,469
Oh, my God.
303
00:11:50,970 --> 00:11:52,304
Are you serious?
304
00:11:52,305 --> 00:11:54,431
You want your kid to know
you were a hot baby or not?
305
00:11:54,432 --> 00:11:56,391
Fine.
306
00:11:56,392 --> 00:11:57,601
Jackie says,
307
00:11:57,602 --> 00:11:59,353
if you're willing
to do it, she is.
308
00:12:00,897 --> 00:12:02,355
Tell her I'll do it, too,
309
00:12:02,356 --> 00:12:04,525
but don't make it sound
like I rolled over too easy.
310
00:12:09,197 --> 00:12:13,116
Oh, God bless America! Ugh!
311
00:12:13,117 --> 00:12:14,951
This whole Darlene and
Ben thing has gotta stop.
312
00:12:14,952 --> 00:12:16,328
What happened?
313
00:12:16,329 --> 00:12:19,748
My professor did not
accept my late paper,
314
00:12:19,749 --> 00:12:22,876
and now I have to take the
whole damn class over again.
315
00:12:22,877 --> 00:12:25,170
Well, when you start
out as a hot baby,
316
00:12:25,171 --> 00:12:27,380
it's all downhill from there.
317
00:12:33,054 --> 00:12:35,555
Hey, could you come in here?
318
00:12:37,892 --> 00:12:39,310
No.
319
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,897
Both of you on the couch, now.
320
00:12:44,232 --> 00:12:45,607
Okay, I'm not even
going to comment
321
00:12:45,608 --> 00:12:47,359
that Ben's clothes are
all over the couch,
322
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:48,568
but why don't we go
talk in his closet?
323
00:12:48,569 --> 00:12:49,612
It's probably empty.
324
00:12:51,697 --> 00:12:53,740
Well, that's a fun
idea. Let's do it.
325
00:12:53,741 --> 00:12:55,033
I'll meet you there.
326
00:12:55,034 --> 00:12:56,794
If you hear the car
starting, just ignore it.
327
00:12:59,122 --> 00:13:02,457
Because you both
kept yammering at me,
328
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:04,835
I have to take my entire
class all over again!
329
00:13:04,836 --> 00:13:07,629
Oh, man. Sorry about that.
330
00:13:07,630 --> 00:13:10,090
Oh, I'm so sorry, Becky.
331
00:13:10,091 --> 00:13:11,258
Is there anything I can do?
332
00:13:11,259 --> 00:13:12,592
Yeah!
333
00:13:12,593 --> 00:13:14,469
You two clowns can sit there
334
00:13:14,470 --> 00:13:16,429
while I help you
work through this.
335
00:13:16,430 --> 00:13:17,889
What's going on with you guys
336
00:13:17,890 --> 00:13:19,934
is textbook stuff, literally.
337
00:13:21,018 --> 00:13:25,188
Right here, page 142...
338
00:13:25,189 --> 00:13:27,650
"subconscious blaming."
339
00:13:28,943 --> 00:13:30,735
You're working late and
doing paperwork in bed
340
00:13:30,736 --> 00:13:32,195
to punish Darlene.
341
00:13:32,196 --> 00:13:33,572
I knew it was his fault.
342
00:13:33,573 --> 00:13:34,573
How can we fix him?
343
00:13:36,576 --> 00:13:37,701
We have to get to
the root of why
344
00:13:37,702 --> 00:13:39,077
he's punishing you.
345
00:13:39,078 --> 00:13:40,078
Ben.
346
00:13:40,079 --> 00:13:41,997
Hmm?
347
00:13:41,998 --> 00:13:43,540
You're working longer hours,
348
00:13:43,541 --> 00:13:44,541
and you told me that
349
00:13:44,542 --> 00:13:46,126
you're trying to
increase profits.
350
00:13:46,127 --> 00:13:47,837
Mm-hmm. How dare you?
351
00:13:51,674 --> 00:13:52,994
Wait, I think I
need to hear more.
352
00:13:54,385 --> 00:13:58,722
Is it possible that you
resent having to work so hard
353
00:13:58,723 --> 00:14:00,808
because Darlene isn't
making as much money?
354
00:14:01,809 --> 00:14:03,101
Is that it?
355
00:14:03,102 --> 00:14:04,769
Because
when I quit Wellman,
356
00:14:04,770 --> 00:14:07,272
you said you were okay
with me delivering food
357
00:14:07,273 --> 00:14:08,940
while I looked for the
right management position.
358
00:14:08,941 --> 00:14:10,859
Yes, I did say that.
359
00:14:10,860 --> 00:14:12,695
But it isn't true, is it?
360
00:14:14,906 --> 00:14:16,032
No.
361
00:14:17,199 --> 00:14:18,199
This is good.
362
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,493
Tell Darlene how
you really feel.
363
00:14:20,494 --> 00:14:24,497
Well, I meant what
I said at the time,
364
00:14:24,498 --> 00:14:26,207
but now, I feel like
I'm the only one
365
00:14:26,208 --> 00:14:27,709
that's freaking out about money.
366
00:14:27,710 --> 00:14:29,921
And, look, I'm so stressed,
I've become sloppy.
367
00:14:32,256 --> 00:14:33,965
Well, I'm just trying
to be optimistic.
368
00:14:33,966 --> 00:14:35,801
Well, stop.
369
00:14:38,137 --> 00:14:41,056
Oh, my God, so you've just
been lying in bed hating me?
370
00:14:41,057 --> 00:14:42,099
Yes. Kinda.
371
00:14:44,852 --> 00:14:46,311
Well, why didn't you tell me?
372
00:14:46,312 --> 00:14:48,230
Well, I didn't wanna
come off like an ass.
373
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:52,525
Well, Ben, we have to be
totally honest with each other,
374
00:14:52,526 --> 00:14:54,286
even if you think that
makes you the bad guy.
375
00:14:55,947 --> 00:14:57,989
Alright, look, I promise
to find something
376
00:14:57,990 --> 00:14:59,491
as quickly as I can.
377
00:14:59,492 --> 00:15:01,660
And then it will be my turn
378
00:15:01,661 --> 00:15:03,496
to resent you for
making me settle.
379
00:15:05,331 --> 00:15:07,333
Aww, see, that's all I'm asking.
380
00:15:08,626 --> 00:15:10,126
See this?
381
00:15:10,127 --> 00:15:12,129
We're talking, we're resenting.
382
00:15:13,381 --> 00:15:15,716
We're leaving Becky
the hell alone.
383
00:15:20,221 --> 00:15:23,181
So, uh...
384
00:15:23,182 --> 00:15:24,182
resentful sex?
385
00:15:25,685 --> 00:15:27,405
Well, that's how I
always have it, but okay.
386
00:15:32,316 --> 00:15:33,984
Thank you for the
setup. I will start.
387
00:15:33,985 --> 00:15:35,568
I do remember one of the movies
388
00:15:35,569 --> 00:15:38,446
was all of us on vacation
389
00:15:38,447 --> 00:15:40,073
at Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan.
390
00:15:40,074 --> 00:15:41,408
Oh, yeah.
391
00:15:41,409 --> 00:15:42,951
We stayed at that place
392
00:15:42,952 --> 00:15:44,619
with the cool
miniature golf course
393
00:15:44,620 --> 00:15:46,621
they built underground.
394
00:15:46,622 --> 00:15:48,081
It was like having fun
395
00:15:48,082 --> 00:15:49,791
waiting for nuclear
winter to pass.
396
00:15:49,792 --> 00:15:51,918
Yes, and I remember that we all
397
00:15:51,919 --> 00:15:54,045
had to split a
small cheese pizza
398
00:15:54,046 --> 00:15:55,630
because, according to him,
399
00:15:55,631 --> 00:15:56,840
I should've pushed my way
400
00:15:56,841 --> 00:15:58,425
through the children's orchestra
401
00:15:58,426 --> 00:16:01,386
to grab the last large.
402
00:16:01,387 --> 00:16:03,471
As someone who was in
a children's orchestra,
403
00:16:03,472 --> 00:16:05,056
I can tell you, they
don't get out a lot,
404
00:16:05,057 --> 00:16:06,497
and you wouldn't
have won that fight.
405
00:16:07,226 --> 00:16:09,436
No, that was the Dells.
406
00:16:09,437 --> 00:16:11,396
We didn't eat at
the mini-golf place
407
00:16:11,397 --> 00:16:13,148
'cause we were trying
to get D. J. unstuck
408
00:16:13,149 --> 00:16:14,441
from the giant clown's mouth.
409
00:16:14,442 --> 00:16:16,484
Oh, yeah! Now I remember that.
410
00:16:16,485 --> 00:16:17,736
I remember.
411
00:16:17,737 --> 00:16:18,987
We could've got him out faster,
412
00:16:18,988 --> 00:16:21,072
but it looked like the
clown was eating a kid,
413
00:16:21,073 --> 00:16:23,325
so we just let
everybody take pictures.
414
00:16:24,827 --> 00:16:26,494
Um, Aunt Jackie,
415
00:16:26,495 --> 00:16:28,788
I remember seeing a picture
of you in a giant snowstorm.
416
00:16:28,789 --> 00:16:29,873
Did you guys take
any movies of that?
417
00:16:29,874 --> 00:16:31,124
Oh, no. Thank God.
418
00:16:31,125 --> 00:16:32,751
That was the day I
stole my dad's car
419
00:16:32,752 --> 00:16:34,586
and I got stuck out by
the forest preserve.
420
00:16:34,587 --> 00:16:37,088
I was lucky that AAA got to me.
421
00:16:37,089 --> 00:16:39,090
AAA?
422
00:16:39,091 --> 00:16:40,091
Who in this family
423
00:16:40,092 --> 00:16:42,594
you think could afford that?
424
00:16:42,595 --> 00:16:44,012
That was me and my buddy, JR.
425
00:16:44,013 --> 00:16:45,013
He had a tow truck.
426
00:16:45,014 --> 00:16:47,223
Oh, my God, that's
right. That was you!
427
00:16:47,224 --> 00:16:48,600
Oh, my God.
428
00:16:48,601 --> 00:16:50,185
I can't believe I forgot
that.
429
00:16:50,186 --> 00:16:51,686
I can.
430
00:16:51,687 --> 00:16:53,563
You're 0 for 2.
431
00:16:53,564 --> 00:16:55,732
And you're all over me,
saying that I'm losing it.
432
00:16:55,733 --> 00:16:57,317
Maybe you're the old guy
433
00:16:57,318 --> 00:16:58,478
that can't remember anything.
434
00:17:00,237 --> 00:17:01,654
Uh, can you kids
give us a minute?
435
00:17:01,655 --> 00:17:02,740
Okay?
436
00:17:04,658 --> 00:17:06,785
Okay,
this is enough.
437
00:17:06,786 --> 00:17:08,203
We're fighting in
front of the kids.
438
00:17:08,204 --> 00:17:09,954
I'm willing to admit
439
00:17:09,955 --> 00:17:11,623
that I'm capable of
forgetting things.
440
00:17:11,624 --> 00:17:14,751
I was being overly defensive
about you blaming me
441
00:17:14,752 --> 00:17:17,545
because I'm not that
much younger than you,
442
00:17:17,546 --> 00:17:18,546
and I'm just as worried about
443
00:17:18,547 --> 00:17:20,090
losing my memory as you are.
444
00:17:20,091 --> 00:17:23,259
Alright, well, if
we're being honest,
445
00:17:23,260 --> 00:17:27,013
I'm only 99% sure I gave
you the home movies.
446
00:17:27,014 --> 00:17:28,974
And when I say 99, I mean 50.
447
00:17:30,226 --> 00:17:32,185
Really?
448
00:17:32,186 --> 00:17:33,666
You know how it is
when you get older.
449
00:17:35,147 --> 00:17:36,689
You're afraid that
every little thing
450
00:17:36,690 --> 00:17:38,566
means something
bigger is coming.
451
00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:40,402
Yeah, or maybe it's just that,
452
00:17:40,403 --> 00:17:41,778
you know, you just
don't remember,
453
00:17:41,779 --> 00:17:44,072
and that's all it is.
454
00:17:44,073 --> 00:17:46,282
I mean, the... the one
thing that we're sure of
455
00:17:46,283 --> 00:17:48,743
is that one of us
forgot something.
456
00:17:48,744 --> 00:17:51,955
So maybe it doesn't matter
who lost the tapes, right?
457
00:17:51,956 --> 00:17:53,039
Between the two of us,
458
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:55,375
we've got one good
working brain,
459
00:17:55,376 --> 00:17:58,420
and we can help the kids
remember some of the fun things
460
00:17:58,421 --> 00:18:00,338
that happened on
the home movies.
461
00:18:00,339 --> 00:18:02,340
Yeah, I...
462
00:18:02,341 --> 00:18:03,717
I think we're done.
463
00:18:06,554 --> 00:18:09,639
Most of the other movies were
of us eating at the table.
464
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:10,890
Oh, no.
465
00:18:10,891 --> 00:18:12,559
You're saying that because,
466
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:16,312
while Roseanne was trying to
create a childhood for the kids,
467
00:18:16,313 --> 00:18:18,857
you were mostly
eating at the table.
468
00:18:18,858 --> 00:18:20,400
You know what?
469
00:18:20,401 --> 00:18:23,361
Roseanne wrote all kinds
of crap down in her diary.
470
00:18:23,362 --> 00:18:25,321
Maybe something in
there would remind us.
471
00:18:25,322 --> 00:18:26,364
You know where that's at?
472
00:18:26,365 --> 00:18:27,699
That I do know.
473
00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:29,367
It's in a box on the
top shelf of the cabinet
474
00:18:29,368 --> 00:18:31,578
where the mugs and glasses are.
475
00:18:31,579 --> 00:18:32,579
I never looked through it
476
00:18:32,580 --> 00:18:33,621
'cause I thought
it'd be kinda rough.
477
00:18:33,622 --> 00:18:34,914
Well, okay.
478
00:18:34,915 --> 00:18:36,124
Alright, well, I promise
479
00:18:36,125 --> 00:18:37,917
I won't read any
of the sex stuff
480
00:18:37,918 --> 00:18:39,669
she wrote about you,
although she did say
481
00:18:39,670 --> 00:18:41,464
it took you a while
to get the hang of it.
482
00:18:46,886 --> 00:18:48,595
Hey, you're...
You're 12 feet tall.
483
00:18:48,596 --> 00:18:49,762
Reach for that box, would you?
484
00:18:49,763 --> 00:18:51,431
It's the least I can do
485
00:18:51,432 --> 00:18:53,809
after you spent so much
time on that clever insult.
486
00:18:56,061 --> 00:18:58,354
Okay. Okay.
487
00:18:58,355 --> 00:19:02,275
I'm look... Oh, holy crap.
488
00:19:02,276 --> 00:19:03,401
He does have this stuff.
489
00:19:03,402 --> 00:19:04,694
Wow! Oh.
490
00:19:04,695 --> 00:19:06,404
After the hard time he gave you,
491
00:19:06,405 --> 00:19:07,906
you can really shove this
down Grandpa's throat
492
00:19:07,907 --> 00:19:08,949
and make him choke on it.
493
00:19:10,284 --> 00:19:11,451
Look
what's become of me.
494
00:19:11,452 --> 00:19:13,203
This is what happens when
you're raised by wolves.
495
00:19:13,204 --> 00:19:14,746
No, no.
496
00:19:14,747 --> 00:19:16,414
Slow down, Stretch.
497
00:19:16,415 --> 00:19:17,665
I'm not gonna shame him
498
00:19:17,666 --> 00:19:19,459
just so I can prove
that I was right.
499
00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:21,962
I want you to put that
stuff in my trunk.
500
00:19:24,089 --> 00:19:25,798
Dan, you're not
gonna believe it.
501
00:19:25,799 --> 00:19:27,175
What? I just remembered.
502
00:19:27,176 --> 00:19:29,719
You did give me all of
the movies and tapes.
503
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,346
They're in my hall closet.
504
00:19:31,347 --> 00:19:33,598
Oh, thank
God! I knew it!
505
00:19:33,599 --> 00:19:35,642
I knew I wasn't losing my mind!
506
00:19:35,643 --> 00:19:37,393
Yeah, see, it could have
been either one of us.
507
00:19:37,394 --> 00:19:38,686
This time, it was me.
508
00:19:38,687 --> 00:19:40,355
It's gonna be you
next time, too.
509
00:19:40,356 --> 00:19:42,857
My brain is still sharp as ever.
510
00:19:42,858 --> 00:19:44,943
Well, we're both getting older,
511
00:19:44,944 --> 00:19:47,111
but the important
thing is we found them,
512
00:19:47,112 --> 00:19:48,404
and I'll bring them by tomorrow.
513
00:19:48,405 --> 00:19:49,739
Are you gonna
remember to do that?
514
00:19:49,740 --> 00:19:51,700
Do you need to write it
on your hand or something?
515
00:19:53,244 --> 00:19:55,119
Well, I thought we
agreed it didn't matter.
516
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:56,704
That was when there was a chance
517
00:19:56,705 --> 00:19:58,081
it could've been me.
518
00:19:58,082 --> 00:20:00,041
Yeah, but, you know,
it could've been you.
519
00:20:00,042 --> 00:20:02,585
I could've gone in the kitchen
and found them in there.
520
00:20:02,586 --> 00:20:03,753
But you didn't.
521
00:20:03,754 --> 00:20:05,380
But I could have.
But you didn't.
522
00:20:05,381 --> 00:20:07,757
Uh, you know what, Dan?
523
00:20:07,758 --> 00:20:09,801
I didn't.
524
00:20:09,802 --> 00:20:12,887
And I'm happy it was me
who forgot and not you.
525
00:20:12,888 --> 00:20:15,682
Don't be so hard on yourself.
526
00:20:15,683 --> 00:20:17,058
Leave that for me.
527
00:20:17,059 --> 00:20:19,644
Yeah. Okay.
528
00:20:19,645 --> 00:20:21,145
Well, I gotta go.
529
00:20:21,146 --> 00:20:22,522
Uh, by the way,
530
00:20:22,523 --> 00:20:24,983
I might not have
all of them, okay?
531
00:20:24,984 --> 00:20:27,318
I think the one of
you riding the bull
532
00:20:27,319 --> 00:20:31,739
is probably gonna be missing.
533
00:20:39,873 --> 00:20:42,709
Did you and Aunt Jackie find
any good stories in the diary?
534
00:20:42,710 --> 00:20:44,919
I can't bring myself to read it.
535
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,421
You want me to read it to you?
536
00:20:46,422 --> 00:20:48,302
I can just skip anything
I think might hurt you.
537
00:20:49,341 --> 00:20:50,883
That'd be great. Yeah.
538
00:20:50,884 --> 00:20:52,635
Okay.
539
00:20:52,636 --> 00:20:54,304
Alright, let's see.
540
00:20:54,305 --> 00:20:58,808
Um, this is from January 1985.
541
00:20:58,809 --> 00:21:00,893
You had meatloaf that night.
542
00:21:00,894 --> 00:21:06,065
Um, that's about
all I can tell you.
543
00:21:06,066 --> 00:21:10,194
Okay. Uh, thanks, but
read me the good stuff.
544
00:21:10,195 --> 00:21:11,195
I wanna hear that.
545
00:21:11,196 --> 00:21:12,990
Okay.
546
00:21:22,333 --> 00:21:23,541
Stop!
547
00:21:23,542 --> 00:21:24,959
We had meatloaf.
548
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,337
That's good enough for me.
39097
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