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1
00:00:03,375 --> 00:00:05,293
How's the job hunt going, Mom?
2
00:00:05,294 --> 00:00:06,711
Slow. It's the first time
3
00:00:06,712 --> 00:00:08,963
I've ever applied for
managerial positions.
4
00:00:08,964 --> 00:00:10,840
The jobs I used to
look for just asked
5
00:00:10,841 --> 00:00:12,425
if I've ever been to prison
6
00:00:12,426 --> 00:00:15,929
and to click on all the squares
that have stop signs in 'em.
7
00:00:15,930 --> 00:00:17,180
Well, I'd be careful
about putting all
8
00:00:17,181 --> 00:00:19,432
that personal information
out there, Darlene.
9
00:00:19,433 --> 00:00:22,685
What if you're sending your
résumé to some nefarious creep
10
00:00:22,686 --> 00:00:24,854
lurking on the Dark Web?
11
00:00:24,855 --> 00:00:27,065
Well, if Thanos is looking
12
00:00:27,066 --> 00:00:29,901
for a mid-level minion and
he promotes from within,
13
00:00:29,902 --> 00:00:32,111
I'd at least like
to be considered.
14
00:00:32,112 --> 00:00:34,113
I'm gonna go get everybody.
15
00:00:34,114 --> 00:00:35,531
Have you gotten
any responses yet?
16
00:00:35,532 --> 00:00:37,867
You know, just the usual
first wave of rejections,
17
00:00:37,868 --> 00:00:40,161
but that happens when you
apply for a lot of jobs.
18
00:00:40,162 --> 00:00:42,538
Sorry. All that rejection
must really hurt.
19
00:00:42,539 --> 00:00:44,832
I mean, I don't know, 'cause
I got my Whole Foods job
20
00:00:44,833 --> 00:00:46,085
10 minutes after I applied.
21
00:00:49,129 --> 00:00:51,673
Grandpa. That's for everybody.
22
00:00:51,674 --> 00:00:53,257
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't realize
23
00:00:53,258 --> 00:00:55,302
we were in the
middle of a famine.
24
00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:59,138
Well, did you get a job yet?
25
00:00:59,139 --> 00:01:01,516
Not since you asked
two hours ago.
26
00:01:01,517 --> 00:01:03,559
My dad always said,
27
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,020
"You don't quit a job
till ya got another job."
28
00:01:06,021 --> 00:01:08,106
Of course, he was a
drunk who also said
29
00:01:08,107 --> 00:01:10,442
nothing good ever came
from educated women.
30
00:01:12,695 --> 00:01:13,987
My point is, I bet you regret
31
00:01:13,988 --> 00:01:16,322
leaving Wellman so quickly now.
32
00:01:16,323 --> 00:01:18,408
I know I regret it.
33
00:01:18,409 --> 00:01:20,785
The company was destroying
the environment, Ben.
34
00:01:20,786 --> 00:01:23,579
I couldn't live with myself if
I worked there for one more day.
35
00:01:23,580 --> 00:01:25,581
Yes, I know, and
I appreciate that,
36
00:01:25,582 --> 00:01:27,417
but just for the
sake of argument,
37
00:01:27,418 --> 00:01:31,004
isn't everything a little
bad for the environment?
38
00:01:31,005 --> 00:01:33,339
No.
39
00:01:33,340 --> 00:01:37,844
My dad left me cheap old paint
from Nigeria with lead in it,
40
00:01:37,845 --> 00:01:40,513
and I mix and sell
that paint every day
41
00:01:40,514 --> 00:01:42,266
and I sleep like a log.
42
00:01:44,476 --> 00:01:47,396
Probably 'cause I mix paint
with lead in it, but...
43
00:01:50,065 --> 00:01:52,775
I know you're worried, but
I'm going to get something.
44
00:01:52,776 --> 00:01:55,737
I finally have a solid résumé
that I didn't have to lie on.
45
00:01:55,738 --> 00:01:57,822
What? No lies?!
46
00:01:57,823 --> 00:02:00,825
Let's see this
little bio of truth.
47
00:02:00,826 --> 00:02:03,244
No. It's... It's boring. You
wouldn't want to hear it.
48
00:02:03,245 --> 00:02:07,206
Yes, we would. And
that's why I...
49
00:02:07,207 --> 00:02:09,208
printed it out. Oh!
50
00:02:09,209 --> 00:02:13,671
"I-I like to think of
myself as a people person
51
00:02:13,672 --> 00:02:15,965
who sees the good
in everyone."
52
00:02:15,966 --> 00:02:19,218
I do, you mean,
empty-headed Barbie!
53
00:02:19,219 --> 00:02:22,680
Uh, "I have a positive
attitude, high energy..."
54
00:02:23,974 --> 00:02:26,809
"and I believe
overcontrolling managers
55
00:02:26,810 --> 00:02:29,145
stifle productivity."
56
00:02:29,146 --> 00:02:30,646
Oh, I do declare,
57
00:02:30,647 --> 00:02:33,441
I believe my productivity
is bein' stifled.
58
00:02:36,362 --> 00:02:38,404
Uh-oh, she gonna
get it! She gonna get it!
59
00:02:42,326 --> 00:02:44,327
Nobody tells the
truth on these things,
60
00:02:44,328 --> 00:02:46,162
or nobody would have a job.
61
00:02:49,625 --> 00:02:51,584
Oh. Oh. There you go, people.
62
00:02:51,585 --> 00:02:53,419
My first interview.
63
00:02:53,420 --> 00:02:57,173
With a company that makes
acoustic ceiling tiles.
64
00:02:57,174 --> 00:02:59,258
Alright. Dare to
dream, everybody.
65
00:02:59,259 --> 00:03:01,969
Alright!
66
00:03:01,970 --> 00:03:03,805
Hey, uh, something just happened
67
00:03:03,806 --> 00:03:05,306
that I need to talk
to you guys about.
68
00:03:05,307 --> 00:03:06,724
I was just with Grandma Bev.
69
00:03:06,725 --> 00:03:10,770
The hell were you doing
going to see Grandma Bev?
70
00:03:10,771 --> 00:03:12,355
You've seen horror movies.
71
00:03:12,356 --> 00:03:15,191
You're supposed to run
away from the monster!
72
00:03:15,192 --> 00:03:17,443
Well, I felt bad because
no one goes to see her,
73
00:03:17,444 --> 00:03:19,946
so I took her to a
senior aqua-cize class,
74
00:03:19,947 --> 00:03:23,116
and in the middle of it, she
scared the hell out of me.
75
00:03:23,117 --> 00:03:25,451
She didn't know where she
was or why she was there.
76
00:03:25,452 --> 00:03:27,620
I think she might have dementia.
77
00:03:27,621 --> 00:03:30,331
Ugh. God. Here we go.
78
00:03:30,332 --> 00:03:32,250
Somebody needs my attention.
79
00:03:32,251 --> 00:03:33,668
I don't go see her
for a couple of years,
80
00:03:33,669 --> 00:03:34,961
because for once
81
00:03:34,962 --> 00:03:37,672
I hold a boundary to
take care of myself,
82
00:03:37,673 --> 00:03:40,217
and now she's got dementia.
83
00:03:42,302 --> 00:03:43,886
When my dad started losing it,
84
00:03:43,887 --> 00:03:47,515
my half-brother urged me to
go see him, and I said no.
85
00:03:47,516 --> 00:03:48,850
I regret that.
86
00:03:48,851 --> 00:03:50,476
Maybe it's not an act.
87
00:03:50,477 --> 00:03:52,603
It's her pattern.
88
00:03:52,604 --> 00:03:54,272
Dan, remember?
89
00:03:54,273 --> 00:03:55,731
Last time she moved in with me,
90
00:03:55,732 --> 00:03:57,775
she said it was
because she was broke,
91
00:03:57,776 --> 00:04:00,611
but actually they kicked
her out of the senior home
92
00:04:00,612 --> 00:04:02,072
for spreading VD.
93
00:04:06,535 --> 00:04:08,452
I'll go see her, but, you know,
94
00:04:08,453 --> 00:04:10,538
if this is somehow
chlamydia-related,
95
00:04:10,539 --> 00:04:12,165
I'm gonna be pissed.
96
00:04:30,893 --> 00:04:33,895
Captions by VITAC...
97
00:04:33,896 --> 00:04:35,062
"The Conners" is filmed
98
00:04:35,063 --> 00:04:37,690
in front of a live
studio audience.
99
00:04:37,691 --> 00:04:39,942
Uh, I looked it up,
and I never realized
100
00:04:39,943 --> 00:04:41,486
that acoustic ceiling tiles
101
00:04:41,487 --> 00:04:44,198
are really the unsung heroes
of our everyday lives.
102
00:04:45,949 --> 00:04:47,909
Well, I must say,
Darlene
103
00:04:47,910 --> 00:04:50,119
your résumé does
tick all the boxes
104
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,788
for what we're looking for
in a production manager.
105
00:04:52,789 --> 00:04:55,708
But I have to ask... Why
did you leave Wellman?
106
00:04:55,709 --> 00:04:59,754
Well, I achieved everything
I wanted to there,
107
00:04:59,755 --> 00:05:02,715
and I felt it was time to
look for bigger challenges.
108
00:05:02,716 --> 00:05:04,634
It's all in my bio.
109
00:05:04,635 --> 00:05:08,471
"Achieved everything, likes to
look for bigger challenges."
110
00:05:08,472 --> 00:05:11,557
So, I did speak to
your supervisor, Robin.
111
00:05:11,558 --> 00:05:13,601
She was very complimentary.
112
00:05:13,602 --> 00:05:15,812
But Bill Wellman called
me about an hour ago.
113
00:05:17,064 --> 00:05:18,856
Oh.
114
00:05:18,857 --> 00:05:22,026
Uh, how's ol' Bill doing?
115
00:05:22,027 --> 00:05:24,111
He told me that you
weren't a team player
116
00:05:24,112 --> 00:05:26,072
and you have a bad attitude.
117
00:05:26,073 --> 00:05:29,325
Oh, yeah, we would joke
around a lot like that.
118
00:05:29,326 --> 00:05:31,786
He'd say, "You have a
bad attitude, Darlene!"
119
00:05:31,787 --> 00:05:33,955
And I'd say, "You're bald
and a big liar, Bill!"
120
00:05:33,956 --> 00:05:37,250
And we would just
laugh and laugh.
121
00:05:37,251 --> 00:05:40,836
Hm. Hey, look, I get
that people hold grudges
122
00:05:40,837 --> 00:05:44,131
when someone they're counting
on leaves the company.
123
00:05:44,132 --> 00:05:45,716
I'd love to hear
your side of it.
124
00:05:45,717 --> 00:05:47,843
Okay. Here's the truth.
125
00:05:47,844 --> 00:05:50,304
Wellman is poisoning
the groundwater,
126
00:05:50,305 --> 00:05:51,973
and they wanted me
to lie to the public.
127
00:05:51,974 --> 00:05:53,140
Do you drink water?
128
00:05:53,141 --> 00:05:55,352
'Cause Bill Wellman is
trying to murder you.
129
00:05:56,728 --> 00:05:59,605
Why didn't you tell me
that in the first place?
130
00:05:59,606 --> 00:06:03,901
Because it sounds crazy if
I can't give you any proof.
131
00:06:03,902 --> 00:06:06,153
Bill also said you
were an overly dramatic
132
00:06:06,154 --> 00:06:10,533
eco-conspiracy
nut with no proof.
133
00:06:10,534 --> 00:06:12,076
Well.
134
00:06:12,077 --> 00:06:16,163
I am not surprised he
painted me that way.
135
00:06:16,164 --> 00:06:18,833
Because the truth is...
136
00:06:18,834 --> 00:06:20,752
Bill is in love with me.
137
00:06:22,796 --> 00:06:24,171
I think it's safe to say
138
00:06:24,172 --> 00:06:25,756
we're done here.
139
00:06:25,757 --> 00:06:27,718
Agreed. When do I start?
140
00:06:30,637 --> 00:06:31,930
Blink if I'm hired.
141
00:06:33,974 --> 00:06:35,183
Blink if you validate.
142
00:06:42,274 --> 00:06:43,858
Hello! Jackie: Hi, Mom.
143
00:06:43,859 --> 00:06:48,696
Well, you got me here,
so let the show begin!
144
00:06:48,697 --> 00:06:51,449
Kind of surprised that you
don't have pants on your head
145
00:06:51,450 --> 00:06:53,117
and you're yelling about aliens
146
00:06:53,118 --> 00:06:55,912
and building a mountain
out of mashed potatoes.
147
00:06:57,414 --> 00:06:59,165
What are you going on about?
148
00:06:59,166 --> 00:07:01,917
Nothing you say
ever makes sense.
149
00:07:01,918 --> 00:07:06,088
That's why people lose
interest in you so quickly.
150
00:07:06,089 --> 00:07:09,842
Okay, well, um, I stopped
by for a wellness check.
151
00:07:09,843 --> 00:07:12,094
You're still awful, so
I will see you next time
152
00:07:12,095 --> 00:07:14,847
when I'm here to
identify the body. Bye.
153
00:07:14,848 --> 00:07:17,433
Just stop your
gibberish and come in.
154
00:07:17,434 --> 00:07:19,602
I haven't seen you in forever!
155
00:07:19,603 --> 00:07:22,396
Oi.
156
00:07:22,397 --> 00:07:23,814
Nice circle.
157
00:07:23,815 --> 00:07:26,734
You forgot to draw
the pentagram in it.
158
00:07:26,735 --> 00:07:28,527
These are all the things I need.
159
00:07:28,528 --> 00:07:32,198
I was afraid that I would
forget where I put them,
160
00:07:32,199 --> 00:07:33,824
so I keep them all near.
161
00:07:33,825 --> 00:07:36,285
Oh, I see. That's a
nice touch, Mom, yeah.
162
00:07:36,286 --> 00:07:37,953
So, you know, uh,
163
00:07:37,954 --> 00:07:39,789
the real reason that
I'm here is that
164
00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:42,291
Harris said you didn't know
where you were yesterday
165
00:07:42,292 --> 00:07:44,752
when you were at the pool
for your senior exercise.
166
00:07:44,753 --> 00:07:47,922
Don't be so silly.
167
00:07:47,923 --> 00:07:49,965
I know where I am all the time.
168
00:07:49,966 --> 00:07:51,801
Hmm.
169
00:07:51,802 --> 00:07:53,178
Harris who?
170
00:07:54,554 --> 00:07:56,764
Darlene's daughter, Harris.
She took you to the Y.
171
00:07:56,765 --> 00:07:58,599
Just cut the crap.
172
00:07:58,600 --> 00:07:59,725
Mom.
173
00:07:59,726 --> 00:08:01,894
Oh, you don't remember her?
174
00:08:01,895 --> 00:08:04,480
Of course I do. Yes.
175
00:08:04,481 --> 00:08:05,981
And that reminds me.
176
00:08:05,982 --> 00:08:08,651
Could you tell Roseanne
177
00:08:08,652 --> 00:08:11,780
that she needs to come
by and visit me, too?
178
00:08:14,699 --> 00:08:16,575
What are you talking about?
179
00:08:16,576 --> 00:08:18,953
I'm talking about your sister.
180
00:08:18,954 --> 00:08:21,664
Do you not know
who your sister is?
181
00:08:21,665 --> 00:08:25,126
Roseanne's gone, Mom.
182
00:08:25,127 --> 00:08:27,336
She passed away.
183
00:08:27,337 --> 00:08:28,713
What?
184
00:08:31,133 --> 00:08:32,426
Oh, my God.
185
00:08:34,428 --> 00:08:36,929
When did this happen?
186
00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:38,640
You really don't know, do you?
187
00:08:40,517 --> 00:08:43,060
It was years ago, Mom.
188
00:08:43,061 --> 00:08:45,272
You don't remember any of this?
189
00:08:50,402 --> 00:08:52,695
Okay.
190
00:08:52,696 --> 00:08:54,698
Uh, let's...
191
00:08:56,992 --> 00:09:01,829
Let's get you a-a
check-up, and, um...
192
00:09:01,830 --> 00:09:05,249
in the meantime, I'll
just... spend the night here.
193
00:09:05,250 --> 00:09:06,917
Yes.
194
00:09:06,918 --> 00:09:09,253
That would be
nice.
195
00:09:09,254 --> 00:09:12,132
I always know that I can
count on you for comfort.
196
00:09:15,427 --> 00:09:17,053
You know who I am, right?
197
00:09:18,221 --> 00:09:20,097
Of course.
198
00:09:20,098 --> 00:09:21,432
I'm Jackie.
199
00:09:21,433 --> 00:09:23,434
Jackie. Right.
200
00:09:23,435 --> 00:09:25,186
Yeah. Your daughter, Jackie.
201
00:09:25,187 --> 00:09:28,856
I know you're my
daughter. Stop slouching!
202
00:09:28,857 --> 00:09:32,485
It makes your tiny
boobs look smaller.
203
00:09:32,486 --> 00:09:35,489
Oh, there's my girl.
204
00:09:39,785 --> 00:09:43,287
Great. Bill Wellman is
badmouthing me so much,
205
00:09:43,288 --> 00:09:46,040
now I'm even being turned
down by jobs I'm perfect for.
206
00:09:46,041 --> 00:09:47,583
If you want, I can ask
if there's any openings
207
00:09:47,584 --> 00:09:49,126
at my grocery store.
208
00:09:49,127 --> 00:09:51,378
There are some people who
open boxes in the back.
209
00:09:51,379 --> 00:09:55,466
They're strange, kind of feral
people with no social skills.
210
00:09:55,467 --> 00:09:58,177
You could be their queen.
211
00:09:58,178 --> 00:10:01,096
You know, when I was in
my 22nd hour of labor,
212
00:10:01,097 --> 00:10:03,098
pushing a watermelon
through a Cheerio,
213
00:10:03,099 --> 00:10:05,519
I was kind of hoping for
somebody more grateful.
214
00:10:06,770 --> 00:10:08,270
He'd be more grateful
if that Cheerio
215
00:10:08,271 --> 00:10:09,981
was a portal to another family.
216
00:10:11,775 --> 00:10:13,318
Hey, I got him a new dad.
217
00:10:15,654 --> 00:10:18,614
Anyway, I-I already took a job
with a food delivery service.
218
00:10:18,615 --> 00:10:20,157
Food delivery?
219
00:10:20,158 --> 00:10:23,577
They tip in advance. There's
hardly any human contact.
220
00:10:23,578 --> 00:10:25,539
This was practically
made for you.
221
00:10:28,375 --> 00:10:30,251
How did it go?
Did you see Bev?
222
00:10:30,252 --> 00:10:32,002
I spent the night.
Harris is right.
223
00:10:32,003 --> 00:10:34,338
I think she's starting
to develop dementia.
224
00:10:34,339 --> 00:10:37,007
I'm so sorry,
Jackie. That's rough.
225
00:10:37,008 --> 00:10:39,218
You know, if you don't
have an active social life,
226
00:10:39,219 --> 00:10:41,220
you have a higher chance
of getting dementia,
227
00:10:41,221 --> 00:10:43,138
and we left her alone a lot.
228
00:10:43,139 --> 00:10:45,140
Yeah, well, because
of the COVID.
229
00:10:45,141 --> 00:10:48,394
Sure. Of course. The COVID.
230
00:10:48,395 --> 00:10:50,771
That's our story, right?
231
00:10:50,772 --> 00:10:52,690
They also say you have a
higher chance of getting it
232
00:10:52,691 --> 00:10:54,984
if you have a hearing
loss. I missed that sign.
233
00:10:54,985 --> 00:10:58,070
Damn woman never
heard a word I said.
234
00:10:58,071 --> 00:11:00,906
Look, I just, uh, wanted to
let you know what was going on,
235
00:11:00,907 --> 00:11:04,744
but I know it all falls on me,
and it's just so damn unfair!
236
00:11:13,378 --> 00:11:15,629
Morning beer, huh?
237
00:11:15,630 --> 00:11:18,340
Well, if there was ever a time.
238
00:11:18,341 --> 00:11:21,719
But they say if you drink
alone, you have a problem.
239
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:24,388
Let me help you stay healthy.
240
00:11:24,389 --> 00:11:27,224
Thanks. It is unfair.
241
00:11:27,225 --> 00:11:29,518
That woman doesn't deserve
to have you look after her
242
00:11:29,519 --> 00:11:30,895
for the rest of her life.
243
00:11:30,896 --> 00:11:33,230
That's not the unfair part, Dan.
244
00:11:33,231 --> 00:11:36,150
I should've gone to her sooner.
245
00:11:36,151 --> 00:11:38,903
Well, now that you know,
you can be there for her.
246
00:11:38,904 --> 00:11:40,654
I'm not talking
about compassion.
247
00:11:40,655 --> 00:11:42,908
I'm talking about revenge, man!
248
00:11:44,576 --> 00:11:46,243
Now, when I finally
get my life together,
249
00:11:46,244 --> 00:11:47,828
she's all in and out of it.
250
00:11:47,829 --> 00:11:49,580
I might never get
the satisfaction
251
00:11:49,581 --> 00:11:53,792
of telling her how
wrong she was about me!
252
00:11:53,793 --> 00:11:57,129
So, catch her while she's
"in" and let her know
253
00:11:57,130 --> 00:12:00,049
how you overcame all the
damage she did to you.
254
00:12:00,050 --> 00:12:02,593
I was afraid to tell her
while she's so vulnerable,
255
00:12:02,594 --> 00:12:05,471
but she never cared
about my vulnerability.
256
00:12:05,472 --> 00:12:06,931
I'm gonna do it.
257
00:12:06,932 --> 00:12:10,559
Spent her entire life telling
me what a failure I was.
258
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:13,729
I'm gonna shove my
happiness right in her face!
259
00:12:13,730 --> 00:12:18,275
That's what I always wanted
to kill her, not dementia.
260
00:12:20,820 --> 00:12:23,781
This all sounds good, Darlene.
I think you'd be a perfect fit.
261
00:12:23,782 --> 00:12:25,783
I'll e-mail you
an offer in a few.
262
00:12:25,784 --> 00:12:28,536
Oh, that would be so
great, Travis. Thank you.
263
00:12:29,412 --> 00:12:31,789
What was that?
264
00:12:31,790 --> 00:12:33,624
One of the people
that Robin talked to
265
00:12:33,625 --> 00:12:36,293
before Bill stopped her
is offering me a job.
266
00:12:36,294 --> 00:12:38,963
Yes! Ha!
267
00:12:38,964 --> 00:12:40,589
It's a mid-level
management position
268
00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:42,883
at a ball-point pen
manufacturing plant.
269
00:12:42,884 --> 00:12:44,510
Ohh!
270
00:12:44,511 --> 00:12:47,847
I'm feeling a happy
dance coming on!
271
00:12:50,558 --> 00:12:52,810
Yeah... yeah.
272
00:12:52,811 --> 00:12:53,811
Ha-ha!
273
00:12:57,732 --> 00:13:00,986
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Okay. Here's the offer.
274
00:13:03,446 --> 00:13:04,989
Oh, crap.
275
00:13:04,990 --> 00:13:07,241
He's lowballing
me. Well, come on.
276
00:13:07,242 --> 00:13:10,160
That's still more than you're
gonna make delivering food.
277
00:13:11,955 --> 00:13:14,165
Well, speaking of, I have
to make some deliveries.
278
00:13:15,875 --> 00:13:18,877
But first... You
know what? No.
279
00:13:18,878 --> 00:13:20,462
"I appreciate the offer,
280
00:13:20,463 --> 00:13:24,258
but I need 50% more.
281
00:13:24,259 --> 00:13:27,970
I'm willing to look past all
my other offers for this one."
282
00:13:27,971 --> 00:13:30,055
Come on. You really think now
is the time to be bluffing?
283
00:13:30,056 --> 00:13:32,182
You got a bird in the hand.
284
00:13:32,183 --> 00:13:34,518
Look, I know you're scared,
and I'm scared, too,
285
00:13:34,519 --> 00:13:36,311
but I did the impossible.
286
00:13:36,312 --> 00:13:39,273
I'm a Conner and I clawed
my way into management
287
00:13:39,274 --> 00:13:41,859
and a decent salary.
288
00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:44,278
You know, if I take this offer,
289
00:13:44,279 --> 00:13:46,321
I could end up working
the rest of my life
290
00:13:46,322 --> 00:13:48,407
and never make it
back to where I was.
291
00:13:48,408 --> 00:13:49,950
You're right.
292
00:13:49,951 --> 00:13:52,244
Don't take a penny
less than you deserve.
293
00:13:52,245 --> 00:13:54,246
And get medical, too.
294
00:13:54,247 --> 00:13:55,372
Oh, yeah. You know what?
295
00:13:55,373 --> 00:13:57,207
You're right.
I-I've earned that.
296
00:13:57,208 --> 00:13:59,084
Yeah, we're gonna need it,
'cause I think I pulled
297
00:13:59,085 --> 00:14:01,920
something in my groin
doing the happy dance.
298
00:14:04,174 --> 00:14:06,593
Food delivery! It's
Darlene with your food!
299
00:14:13,266 --> 00:14:15,559
Darlene Conner?
300
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:17,311
From the job interview?
301
00:14:17,312 --> 00:14:19,354
Well, of course.
302
00:14:19,355 --> 00:14:21,232
Who else would this happen to?
303
00:14:25,069 --> 00:14:27,154
This is classic.
304
00:14:27,155 --> 00:14:30,908
I assume the other job
offers you were talking about
305
00:14:30,909 --> 00:14:34,119
were from Pizza Hut and Grubhub?
306
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:37,080
Um, look, this is
awkward, obviously.
307
00:14:37,081 --> 00:14:39,416
Uh, but I just didn't
want to jump into
308
00:14:39,417 --> 00:14:41,502
the wrong management position,
309
00:14:41,503 --> 00:14:43,253
so I took a temp job.
310
00:14:43,254 --> 00:14:45,339
But my qualifications
haven't changed,
311
00:14:45,340 --> 00:14:47,341
so if you are good
with my counter-offer,
312
00:14:47,342 --> 00:14:49,009
we split a six-foot sub,
313
00:14:49,010 --> 00:14:50,511
and the people at
the 12-step meeting
314
00:14:50,512 --> 00:14:53,514
have to fill up on
coffee and cigarettes.
315
00:14:53,515 --> 00:14:55,098
I know this is a
bad coincidence,
316
00:14:55,099 --> 00:14:57,017
but let's be honest...
317
00:14:57,018 --> 00:14:58,818
It doesn't make any sense
for me to negotiate.
318
00:15:00,647 --> 00:15:03,357
Okay. How about this?
319
00:15:03,358 --> 00:15:05,734
I can go...
320
00:15:05,735 --> 00:15:07,611
as low as that.
321
00:15:07,612 --> 00:15:09,739
Oh. Look at that.
It's one of yours.
322
00:15:11,366 --> 00:15:15,035
My family is waiting for dinner.
Do we have a deal or not?
323
00:15:15,036 --> 00:15:17,079
Look, I deserve
what I asked for,
324
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,790
and I just can't take any less.
325
00:15:19,791 --> 00:15:21,376
You're making a big mistake.
326
00:15:23,837 --> 00:15:26,213
No, you're making a big mistake,
327
00:15:26,214 --> 00:15:28,423
because you could
have a great employee,
328
00:15:28,424 --> 00:15:31,635
but corporate guys
like you are so greedy
329
00:15:31,636 --> 00:15:33,929
that they have to grind
the little guy for pennies
330
00:15:33,930 --> 00:15:36,390
rather than pay them
what they're worth.
331
00:15:36,391 --> 00:15:38,809
And it's pretty messed up that
you're taking advantage of me
332
00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:40,394
because you think I'm desperate.
333
00:15:40,395 --> 00:15:42,980
Well, I'm not desperate
enough to sell my integrity
334
00:15:42,981 --> 00:15:45,983
to some greedy bastard like you.
335
00:15:45,984 --> 00:15:47,276
And you know what?
336
00:15:47,277 --> 00:15:49,237
I ate your coleslaw,
and it was fantastic.
337
00:15:53,324 --> 00:15:56,118
Hey, Mom. I saw the nurse.
She said you had a good day.
338
00:15:56,119 --> 00:15:58,745
Everything come back to
you? You know who I am?
339
00:15:58,746 --> 00:16:01,665
Of course I do, Jackie.
340
00:16:01,666 --> 00:16:04,710
I hope this is good soup.
341
00:16:04,711 --> 00:16:06,879
Not like that warm
dishwater you serve
342
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:10,299
at that failing
restaurant of yours.
343
00:16:10,300 --> 00:16:12,009
Okay. Alright.
344
00:16:12,010 --> 00:16:15,012
Well, now that I know
the lights are on...
345
00:16:15,013 --> 00:16:18,599
Uh, it's not failing.
It's thriving.
346
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,143
Mom.
347
00:16:21,144 --> 00:16:25,188
You spent your entire
life belittling me,
348
00:16:25,189 --> 00:16:28,817
uh, making me doubt
myself, hate myself,
349
00:16:28,818 --> 00:16:32,654
uh, telling me that I'd never
be happy or worthy of love,
350
00:16:32,655 --> 00:16:34,281
and you were wrong.
351
00:16:34,282 --> 00:16:36,575
Mom, I'm happy, I'm healthy,
352
00:16:36,576 --> 00:16:39,494
and I found somebody
who loves me,
353
00:16:39,495 --> 00:16:41,747
and we got married, and
we didn't invite you,
354
00:16:41,748 --> 00:16:44,291
and he's a doctor, Mom!
355
00:16:44,292 --> 00:16:46,209
And he thinks I'm
funny and adorable,
356
00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:48,420
and we are gonna
hold each other tight
357
00:16:48,421 --> 00:16:51,340
until the day we die!
358
00:16:51,341 --> 00:16:54,885
Hunh!
359
00:16:54,886 --> 00:16:58,180
Man, I've... I've
spent my entire life
360
00:16:58,181 --> 00:17:01,433
trying to get your approval,
and now I don't need it.
361
00:17:01,434 --> 00:17:03,102
You understand?
362
00:17:06,606 --> 00:17:08,024
Do ya?
363
00:17:10,485 --> 00:17:14,571
This is very important to
me that you understand...
364
00:17:14,572 --> 00:17:17,950
that I don't need your approval.
365
00:17:17,951 --> 00:17:20,286
I have to not have
it. Give it to me.
366
00:17:23,247 --> 00:17:25,832
Al Harris is taking me
367
00:17:25,833 --> 00:17:29,544
to the sock hop Saturday night.
368
00:17:29,545 --> 00:17:31,588
I think he wants to go steady.
369
00:17:31,589 --> 00:17:33,507
No. Wait. No.
370
00:17:33,508 --> 00:17:37,094
Mom, don't do this to me.
371
00:17:37,095 --> 00:17:40,055
Why am I even talking to you?
372
00:17:40,056 --> 00:17:42,557
Where's my daughter? I
wanna tell my daughter!
373
00:17:42,558 --> 00:17:45,394
I'm right here! Mom,
do you remember me?
374
00:17:45,395 --> 00:17:47,145
Huh?!
375
00:17:47,146 --> 00:17:51,109
I-I-I'm the loser who no
sane man could ever love.
376
00:17:53,069 --> 00:17:55,988
Who wouldn't love you?
377
00:17:55,989 --> 00:18:00,159
I mean, I know we just met,
but let me give you a hug!
378
00:18:03,955 --> 00:18:05,164
Sure.
379
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,084
Yeah.
380
00:18:09,085 --> 00:18:10,878
You seem like a lovely person.
381
00:18:14,716 --> 00:18:16,842
So...
382
00:18:16,843 --> 00:18:19,094
why don't you sit down and...
383
00:18:21,431 --> 00:18:23,974
Here. There you go.
384
00:18:23,975 --> 00:18:26,476
And I'll just sit over here.
385
00:18:26,477 --> 00:18:27,895
And, um...
386
00:18:30,231 --> 00:18:32,899
I'll tell you about my mom.
387
00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:35,903
Oh, God. She was
a horrible person.
388
00:18:41,534 --> 00:18:44,287
Dinner's ready! It's
Thanksgiving, people!
389
00:18:47,415 --> 00:18:50,375
What's going on? Where's all
the tasteless vegan stuff?
390
00:18:50,376 --> 00:18:52,461
And is that a real
turkey or is that
391
00:18:52,462 --> 00:18:54,880
some sort of
turkey-shaped mushroom?
392
00:18:54,881 --> 00:18:58,050
Uh, no, that's a dead
animal right there.
393
00:18:58,051 --> 00:19:00,469
Lived, breathed, had
hopes and dreams,
394
00:19:00,470 --> 00:19:03,013
and now you're gonna eat it.
395
00:19:03,014 --> 00:19:06,975
Thank you, Lord! Can't wait
to put gravy on them dreams.
396
00:19:06,976 --> 00:19:08,810
Uh-oh. The last time
she cooked us meat
397
00:19:08,811 --> 00:19:11,063
was to tell us that Dad left.
398
00:19:11,064 --> 00:19:13,231
No, I just want you all to know
399
00:19:13,232 --> 00:19:15,734
that I turned down
a job yesterday.
400
00:19:15,735 --> 00:19:18,987
I had to do it, but I'm
sorry for any sacrifices
401
00:19:18,988 --> 00:19:21,448
you'll be forced to
make because of it.
402
00:19:21,449 --> 00:19:25,786
We'll all just tighten our
belts a bit for the near future.
403
00:19:25,787 --> 00:19:27,079
But first, I'm
gonna loosen mine,
404
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:28,789
'cause this'll probably
be the last big meal
405
00:19:28,790 --> 00:19:30,666
we're gonna have for a while.
406
00:19:32,335 --> 00:19:35,128
You did the right thing
passing on that offer.
407
00:19:35,129 --> 00:19:37,422
You're smart, you
do your job well,
408
00:19:37,423 --> 00:19:38,965
something else will come along.
409
00:19:40,093 --> 00:19:43,053
You promise? Absolutely not!
410
00:19:43,054 --> 00:19:45,639
Hello, family.
411
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,474
How'd your talk go with Bev?
412
00:19:47,475 --> 00:19:49,226
Uh, I'm not sure.
413
00:19:49,227 --> 00:19:51,603
Right after I finished, she said
she was going to the sock hop
414
00:19:51,604 --> 00:19:53,522
with my dead father.
415
00:19:53,523 --> 00:19:57,693
Wow. It's like "Happy
Days" with VD and a ghost.
416
00:19:59,278 --> 00:20:01,238
I mean, she was just so in
and out of it that I gave up,
417
00:20:01,239 --> 00:20:02,864
and even if it registered,
418
00:20:02,865 --> 00:20:04,908
she'd just forget it
the next day. Yeah.
419
00:20:04,909 --> 00:20:06,618
Maybe she's
suppressing everything
420
00:20:06,619 --> 00:20:07,911
because it's too painful
for her remembering
421
00:20:07,912 --> 00:20:09,955
how awful she was to you.
422
00:20:09,956 --> 00:20:12,499
Wow, Harris. That's
very profound.
423
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,918
Yeah, I don't know
where that came from.
424
00:20:14,919 --> 00:20:17,671
My brain must have
needed the meat.
425
00:20:17,672 --> 00:20:19,214
So, I found somebody part-time,
426
00:20:19,215 --> 00:20:21,550
but now I've got to get
a long-term caregiver.
427
00:20:21,551 --> 00:20:22,884
Jackie, I give you
a lot of credit
428
00:20:22,885 --> 00:20:24,302
for stepping up to
take care of her.
429
00:20:24,303 --> 00:20:26,054
You're being very
healthy about this.
430
00:20:26,055 --> 00:20:28,598
Well, even after all the
horrible things she did to me,
431
00:20:28,599 --> 00:20:30,809
she's still my mother,
but the sad thing is,
432
00:20:30,810 --> 00:20:34,688
I think she's gonna be
sweet to me from now on.
433
00:20:34,689 --> 00:20:36,690
Would it help if we reminded you
434
00:20:36,691 --> 00:20:38,650
once in a while that
you're a slouching failure?
435
00:20:38,651 --> 00:20:41,278
Aww! You guys!
436
00:20:41,279 --> 00:20:43,321
You're the best!
437
00:20:43,322 --> 00:20:44,573
To Bev.
438
00:20:44,574 --> 00:20:46,451
- Yeah!
- To Bev!
439
00:20:49,704 --> 00:20:51,955
Now, I'm not the kind of person
440
00:20:51,956 --> 00:20:54,416
who waits for a will
to do something nice.
441
00:20:54,417 --> 00:20:57,127
I wanna see the joy
on your little faces
442
00:20:57,128 --> 00:20:58,920
when I give you these things.
443
00:20:58,921 --> 00:21:01,923
Aww. I'm... I'm not sure we
should take stuff, Grandma Bev.
444
00:21:01,924 --> 00:21:03,508
You might change
your mind. Shut up!
445
00:21:03,509 --> 00:21:06,970
She wants the pleasure of giving.
Let the old woman have it.
446
00:21:06,971 --> 00:21:09,931
This is a very rare,
447
00:21:09,932 --> 00:21:12,893
priceless necklace!
448
00:21:12,894 --> 00:21:15,270
Ohh. Wow!
449
00:21:15,271 --> 00:21:18,398
Made from your Aunt
Jackie's umbilical cord!
450
00:21:18,399 --> 00:21:21,151
Unh!
451
00:21:21,152 --> 00:21:24,030
Think about that next time
you call me "old woman."
33475
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