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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,833 --> 00:00:03,466 This program contains footage of children in distress, 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 3 00:00:03,466 --> 00:00:05,433 including historical medical treatments 4 00:00:05,433 --> 00:00:07,366 that may be disturbing. 5 00:00:07,366 --> 00:00:08,900 Viewer discretion is advised. 6 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 7 00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,466 MAN: If you like, would you please have a seat right here. 8 00:00:13,466 --> 00:00:15,866 MAN: Okay. - Thank you. 9 00:00:15,866 --> 00:00:18,366 Uh, what should I say? 10 00:00:19,700 --> 00:00:20,933 FILMMAKER: We wanted you to talk into the lens. 11 00:00:20,933 --> 00:00:22,400 Hello, lens. 12 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:23,766 (clapperboard clicking) 13 00:00:23,766 --> 00:00:26,233 Hi, I'm Isabelle Piwniky, 14 00:00:26,233 --> 00:00:29,466 but I prefer to be called Izzy, or Iz, or Izzymeister. 15 00:00:29,466 --> 00:00:30,966 And I'm autistic. 16 00:00:31,933 --> 00:00:33,400 I am autistic. 17 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,900 I am on the autism spectrum. 18 00:00:34,900 --> 00:00:37,500 I have autism. 19 00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:39,233 I have autism. 20 00:00:39,233 --> 00:00:41,266 AUTOMATED VOICE (via phone): I have autism. 21 00:00:41,266 --> 00:00:42,800 If somebody came up to me on the street 22 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:44,566 and asked me what autism looks like, 23 00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:46,000 I'd probably say you're looking at it. 24 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,266 CAREN: Can you tell me a little bit about autism? 25 00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:51,866 Uh... what's autism, Caren? 26 00:00:51,866 --> 00:00:56,566 ♪ ♪ 27 00:00:56,566 --> 00:01:00,633 CAREN: What is autism? 28 00:01:00,633 --> 00:01:03,433 Now that's complicated. 29 00:01:03,433 --> 00:01:05,800 MICKEY: Hydrogen, helium. 30 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,733 CAREN: Because the number of ways to be autistic... 31 00:01:08,733 --> 00:01:10,266 MICKEY: Lithium... 32 00:01:10,266 --> 00:01:13,466 CAREN: ...is infinite. 33 00:01:13,466 --> 00:01:16,733 MICKEY: Beryllium, boron. 34 00:01:16,733 --> 00:01:19,766 (bird cawing) 35 00:01:19,766 --> 00:01:24,733 ♪ ♪ 36 00:01:24,733 --> 00:01:28,100 73 Tantalum. 37 00:01:28,100 --> 00:01:31,166 74 Tungsten, 75 Rhenium... 38 00:01:31,166 --> 00:01:34,200 CAREN: Take a man who finds comfort walking around 39 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,600 naming all the elements of the universe. 40 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,800 MICKEY: 79 is gold, 80 mercury. 81-- 41 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:42,166 CAREN: He has autism. - 82 is lead. 42 00:01:42,166 --> 00:01:44,700 83, B-I, Bismuth. 84-- 43 00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:49,566 CAREN: He's also my son, Mickey. 44 00:01:49,566 --> 00:01:52,233 ♪ ♪ 45 00:01:52,233 --> 00:01:54,600 All the years I've known him, 46 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:59,133 Mickey has been teaching me more about autism than anyone. 47 00:02:01,066 --> 00:02:04,400 It's been an adventure for both of us. 48 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,666 But as a journalist, I've also spent years 49 00:02:07,666 --> 00:02:12,400 looking into how the world has responded to autistic people. 50 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,466 And on that journey, 51 00:02:14,466 --> 00:02:16,100 I found darkness. 52 00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:17,733 MICKEY: 25 is Manganese... 53 00:02:17,733 --> 00:02:21,366 CAREN: But also found real reasons to hope... 54 00:02:21,366 --> 00:02:23,633 MICKEY: 26 Iron... 55 00:02:23,633 --> 00:02:26,500 CAREN: ...that people like Mickey, 56 00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:28,066 and everyone who is different, 57 00:02:28,066 --> 00:02:31,800 might still get the chance to belong. 58 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,600 To really belong. 59 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:39,533 ♪ ♪ 60 00:02:41,233 --> 00:02:42,966 (in car): So what's next? 61 00:02:42,966 --> 00:02:46,000 MICKEY (in car): 1.1 miles, the destination is on the right. 62 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,833 ANNOUNCER (on speaker): In 1.1 miles, the destination... 63 00:02:47,833 --> 00:02:49,533 CAREN (voiceover): And thinking about all of that, 64 00:02:49,533 --> 00:02:51,800 I brought Mickey with me on a trip to Mississippi, 65 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,400 to meet a friend I had made. 66 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:54,533 I'm excited that you're here. - Yes. 67 00:02:54,533 --> 00:02:56,533 I'm excited to introduce you to Donald. 68 00:02:56,533 --> 00:02:59,233 - Yes. 69 00:02:59,233 --> 00:03:01,100 CAREN (voiceover): Someone from a small town, 70 00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:03,766 who I got close to when writing a book about autism. 71 00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:05,366 So, do who Donald is, Mickey? 72 00:03:05,366 --> 00:03:08,266 ANNOUNCER (on speaker): Make a U-turn at Earl Johnson road. 73 00:03:08,266 --> 00:03:10,033 (stammering): He has autism. 74 00:03:10,033 --> 00:03:14,333 CAREN (voiceover): And whose story is where my journey began. 75 00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:18,066 ♪ ♪ 76 00:03:18,066 --> 00:03:19,400 (birds chirping) 77 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:20,600 CELESTE: I've always known Don. 78 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:24,066 I don't remember not knowing Don. 79 00:03:24,066 --> 00:03:26,900 VIANNE: We knew that Don was a little different. 80 00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:29,033 JOBYNA: But what it was, we didn't know. 81 00:03:29,033 --> 00:03:33,400 ♪ ♪ 82 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,033 CAREN: They call him Don, 83 00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:39,866 but I first knew him as Donald, 84 00:03:39,866 --> 00:03:41,933 Donald T. 85 00:03:43,766 --> 00:03:47,400 That's how his name appeared over 70 years ago. 86 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:48,833 It was in the first medical article 87 00:03:48,833 --> 00:03:53,066 that fully described a new diagnosis in children 88 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:57,733 that we call autism. 89 00:03:57,733 --> 00:04:01,166 And in that article that described several children, 90 00:04:01,166 --> 00:04:05,600 Donald Gray Triplett, was described in way more detail 91 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:06,700 than the others. 92 00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:10,100 And he came first. 93 00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:15,166 He was, literally, case number one. 94 00:04:15,166 --> 00:04:17,966 And how did life turn out for him? 95 00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:21,466 How much did he get to belong? 96 00:04:21,466 --> 00:04:27,066 To grow, to love, to be loved? 97 00:04:27,066 --> 00:04:30,333 Autism's first child. 98 00:04:32,833 --> 00:04:36,333 ♪ ♪ 99 00:04:45,066 --> 00:04:49,800 ♪ ♪ 100 00:04:52,966 --> 00:04:56,900 (marbles clacking) 101 00:05:02,166 --> 00:05:05,166 My mother taught me how to drive. 102 00:05:05,166 --> 00:05:07,500 I, I was sort of a late... 103 00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:12,033 I was actually 27 when I got my driver's license. 104 00:05:12,033 --> 00:05:14,933 I just enjoy doing it. 105 00:05:14,933 --> 00:05:18,500 Of course that's the Bank of Forest right there. 106 00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:19,966 Hey, Shelby Welby. 107 00:05:19,966 --> 00:05:22,033 - Hey, Donald. 108 00:05:22,033 --> 00:05:24,066 - Hey, Nat the Cat. 109 00:05:24,066 --> 00:05:26,200 Hey, R.C. - Hey, Don. 110 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,833 - Hey, K.H. - Hey, Don. 111 00:05:28,833 --> 00:05:32,200 He comes to the bank every day at 2:00, you know? 112 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,200 Makes his rounds. 113 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,066 Hey, Big Debbie. Hey, Tricky Nick. 114 00:05:36,066 --> 00:05:38,166 CELESTE: He really brightens our day at the bank. 115 00:05:38,166 --> 00:05:41,366 - Hey, Jan with a plan! - Hi, Don darling! 116 00:05:41,366 --> 00:05:45,033 Don is a very loving person, 117 00:05:45,033 --> 00:05:50,566 and we enjoy seeing him every day. 118 00:05:50,566 --> 00:05:52,600 You know, he's just a lot of fun. 119 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:57,400 ♪ ♪ 120 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:01,966 CAREN: In 1937, when Donald was three years old, 121 00:06:01,966 --> 00:06:03,866 he was placed in an institution. 122 00:06:03,866 --> 00:06:05,666 And it was called the preventorium. 123 00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:08,966 A preventorium used to be a place 124 00:06:08,966 --> 00:06:11,400 where children at risk of getting tuberculosis 125 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,466 were kept separated from society. 126 00:06:13,466 --> 00:06:16,600 But sometimes, families that were well off, 127 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,300 they would actually place a child there 128 00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:20,333 for a different reason-- 129 00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:23,666 if the child was hard to manage, or even just different. 130 00:06:23,666 --> 00:06:28,433 Donald was one of those children. 131 00:06:28,433 --> 00:06:31,000 O.B. TRIPLETT: So there was a preventorium and sanitorium, 132 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,400 a little community in Simpson County just south of here. 133 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:34,566 Of course they assured 134 00:06:34,566 --> 00:06:37,100 my grandparents, from what I've gathered 135 00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:39,066 that that's what was expected for them to do. 136 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:42,433 That's what was accepted at that time. 137 00:06:42,433 --> 00:06:47,166 My name is O.B. Triplett, and, um, Don is my uncle. 138 00:06:47,166 --> 00:06:52,966 Beamon Triplett was Don's father and my granddad. 139 00:06:52,966 --> 00:06:56,166 He was born in 1902. 140 00:06:56,166 --> 00:07:00,300 Was a lawyer here in town, and he grew up kind of poor, 141 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:03,000 but his momma scrimped and saved 142 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,466 and managed somehow to get him to Yale. 143 00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:07,233 And he graduated from Yale 144 00:07:07,233 --> 00:07:10,366 and opened a law practice here in Scott County years ago. 145 00:07:10,366 --> 00:07:15,000 So he was settled here and wound up marrying my... 146 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,066 well, married my grandmother. 147 00:07:16,066 --> 00:07:18,233 Her name was Mary McCravey. 148 00:07:18,233 --> 00:07:20,733 So they're just a young couple starting out. 149 00:07:20,733 --> 00:07:25,166 And I think they built the house in maybe in the early 1930s. 150 00:07:25,166 --> 00:07:27,833 And I, I think they ordered the plans 151 00:07:27,833 --> 00:07:29,766 out of the Sears Roebuck catalog, 152 00:07:29,766 --> 00:07:33,433 and they had just kind of an idealistic life here 153 00:07:33,433 --> 00:07:36,566 in rural small-town Mississippi. 154 00:07:36,566 --> 00:07:40,066 And Don was born, and everything's good, 155 00:07:40,066 --> 00:07:42,033 and then as Don gets a little older, 156 00:07:42,033 --> 00:07:45,300 they start picking up things are different 157 00:07:45,300 --> 00:07:47,800 and realized that something wasn't quite right. 158 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,366 Of course, at the time, autism wasn't even a word. 159 00:07:51,366 --> 00:07:53,800 Nobody knew, you know, about it or anything. 160 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,933 She, she was under the impression that, you know, 161 00:07:56,933 --> 00:07:59,633 perhaps he was insane. 162 00:07:59,633 --> 00:08:00,800 CAREN: You know, I first learned about Donald 163 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:04,000 when I was doing research on autism, 164 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,166 and I learned that he was institutionalized 165 00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:09,266 based on the very first study written about him in 1943. 166 00:08:09,266 --> 00:08:12,733 John Donvan and I were working on a book 167 00:08:12,733 --> 00:08:14,633 on the history of autism. 168 00:08:14,633 --> 00:08:17,200 He and I had produced stories on autism 169 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,966 for 20 years for ABC News. 170 00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:22,333 John was on-air talent, 171 00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:24,300 and I was a producer behind the scenes. 172 00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:27,500 I have a brother-in-law with autism and because of that, 173 00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:29,466 Donald being institutionalized 174 00:08:29,466 --> 00:08:32,900 so young really shocked Caren and me. 175 00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:34,366 But then we started to understand 176 00:08:34,366 --> 00:08:35,933 that's what parents of children like him 177 00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:37,066 were told to do back then. 178 00:08:37,066 --> 00:08:38,966 And they did. 179 00:08:38,966 --> 00:08:40,333 ♪ ♪ 180 00:08:40,333 --> 00:08:42,833 PETE GERHARDT: You know, institutions were developed 181 00:08:42,833 --> 00:08:44,200 with all good intentions, 182 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,833 it was to protect the innocents with disabilities 183 00:08:46,833 --> 00:08:48,100 from the evils of society. 184 00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:50,233 But that didn't really work. (chuckles) 185 00:08:50,233 --> 00:08:54,433 That turned out to be kind of a very expensive bad idea 186 00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:55,766 for many, many people. 187 00:08:55,766 --> 00:08:58,866 JOHN: They became dumping grounds for the unwanted. 188 00:08:58,866 --> 00:09:01,700 And families were pressured even to keep the existence 189 00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:04,966 of a disabled child a complete secret. 190 00:09:04,966 --> 00:09:08,633 Shame became inextricable from disability. 191 00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:10,133 So families complied with 192 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,700 the pressure to institutionalize. 193 00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:14,400 And that's what Donald's parents did. 194 00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:18,466 Well, I certainly think it's chilling that 50 years ago, 195 00:09:18,466 --> 00:09:20,333 people on the spectrum were locked away. 196 00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:21,633 It's hard to imagine that 197 00:09:21,633 --> 00:09:24,566 someone like me or even someone that was... 198 00:09:24,566 --> 00:09:28,266 maybe had a lot more struggles than I did 199 00:09:28,266 --> 00:09:30,633 would be locked up and just put away. 200 00:09:30,633 --> 00:09:32,800 (film reel churning) 201 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,866 CAREN: But then something happened 202 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:39,433 that would save Donald's life, and alter history. 203 00:09:39,433 --> 00:09:43,033 Mary and Beamon Triplett changed their minds. 204 00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:44,433 I think one day she said, 205 00:09:44,433 --> 00:09:46,866 "You know what, I'm not doing this. 206 00:09:46,866 --> 00:09:48,433 I am not doing this. 207 00:09:48,433 --> 00:09:50,000 You know, it doesn't feel right." 208 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,166 And so they went and got him, 209 00:09:52,166 --> 00:09:54,833 put him in the car-- probably a Ford, Granddad liked Ford. 210 00:09:54,833 --> 00:09:58,366 Anyway, you know, and then headed back up here. 211 00:09:58,366 --> 00:09:59,800 And then were going to turn the page 212 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,300 and start another chapter in the life of Don. 213 00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:04,166 CAREN: And then she did 214 00:10:04,166 --> 00:10:08,666 everything she could to make him part of the world. 215 00:10:08,666 --> 00:10:12,400 TRIPLETT: One day, granddad went to his office, 216 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:16,566 and dictated a letter, 33 pages long, 217 00:10:16,566 --> 00:10:19,800 and it was a description of Don. 218 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:24,166 What he, I guess, had observed, he and Grandmomma had observed. 219 00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,600 JOHN: So this description 220 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:29,033 that Donald's father put together is truly historic, 221 00:10:29,033 --> 00:10:31,533 because although it was written by an amateur, by a dad, 222 00:10:31,533 --> 00:10:35,066 it would go on to be quoted again and again 223 00:10:35,066 --> 00:10:37,266 as one of the best and earliest 224 00:10:37,266 --> 00:10:41,000 clinical descriptions of what today we call autism. 225 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,833 ♪ ♪ 226 00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:47,100 TRIPLETT: "He seems almost to live within himself, 227 00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:49,500 "and seldom comes to anyone when called. 228 00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:52,133 "He seems to almost to draw into his shell, 229 00:10:52,133 --> 00:10:54,000 oblivious to everything around him." 230 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,833 JOHN: Some of what Beamon wrote was focused on Donald's 231 00:10:57,833 --> 00:11:00,166 unusual strengths when he was a one-year-old. 232 00:11:00,166 --> 00:11:02,400 TRIPLETT: "He knew the pictures of the presidents 233 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,933 "and the alphabet backwards as well as forwards, 234 00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:08,366 and has an unusual memory." 235 00:11:08,366 --> 00:11:10,233 JOHN: But Donald's dad also shared things 236 00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:11,833 that worried his parents. 237 00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:13,566 His language was very different. 238 00:11:13,566 --> 00:11:15,100 When he spoke, he reversed the way pronouns 239 00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:17,500 are supposed to be used. 240 00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,133 He was obsessed with sameness. 241 00:11:19,133 --> 00:11:21,366 So if the furniture in a room was moved around, 242 00:11:21,366 --> 00:11:23,100 he would have wild tantrums. 243 00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:24,900 And if he was handed any object, 244 00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:27,200 all he would do is sit there and spin it, 245 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,766 for hours and hours, 246 00:11:28,766 --> 00:11:31,466 but he looked through people as if they weren't even there. 247 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:37,133 TRIPLETT: "He appears to be always thinking and thinking, 248 00:11:37,133 --> 00:11:38,566 "and to get his attention 249 00:11:38,566 --> 00:11:41,733 "almost requires one to break down a mental barrier 250 00:11:41,733 --> 00:11:45,600 between his inner consciousness and the outside world." 251 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:48,300 JOHN: Donald's father finished the letter 252 00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:49,500 in September of 1938, 253 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,566 and then he mailed it 254 00:11:51,566 --> 00:11:53,966 to the world's leading child psychiatrist, 255 00:11:53,966 --> 00:11:56,466 who was at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. 256 00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:57,933 DR. LEO KANNER: In 1938, 257 00:11:57,933 --> 00:12:02,333 Donald T., five years old then, 258 00:12:02,333 --> 00:12:05,500 was brought to my clinic from Forest, Mississippi. 259 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:08,266 JOHN: Leo Kanner was fascinated 260 00:12:08,266 --> 00:12:10,800 by Donald's combination of behaviors, 261 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,166 and also puzzled by them. 262 00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:13,600 And it took him 263 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,400 some years trying to figure out what they signified. 264 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:22,166 I went there three times: 1938, 1940, and 1943. 265 00:12:22,166 --> 00:12:26,566 JOHN: And in studying Donald, Kanner had this epiphany, 266 00:12:26,566 --> 00:12:28,533 that the categories that people like him 267 00:12:28,533 --> 00:12:30,333 would have been placed under back then, 268 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,700 like feeblemindedness or insanity, 269 00:12:32,700 --> 00:12:35,066 that these represented the wrong diagnosis, 270 00:12:35,066 --> 00:12:37,233 and we're not just talking about Donald. 271 00:12:37,233 --> 00:12:40,366 Donald Triplett very likely was not the first person 272 00:12:40,366 --> 00:12:42,133 (chuckling): to ever have autism. 273 00:12:42,133 --> 00:12:46,100 There were very likely many people who were autistic, 274 00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:50,666 who were grouped into other categories or diagnostic groups 275 00:12:50,666 --> 00:12:56,066 that also hadn't been refined yet in terms of our knowledge. 276 00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:57,900 JOHN: But it was Kanner who did something about that. 277 00:12:57,900 --> 00:12:59,933 He put together what he saw in Donald 278 00:12:59,933 --> 00:13:01,333 with some observations 279 00:13:01,333 --> 00:13:03,333 he subsequently made in ten other kids 280 00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:05,933 and he applied the term autism. 281 00:13:05,933 --> 00:13:07,133 And in 1943, 282 00:13:07,133 --> 00:13:09,766 he spelled it all out in the article 283 00:13:09,766 --> 00:13:13,300 that introduced this whole diagnosis to the world. 284 00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:15,333 And that's how a little boy from Mississippi 285 00:13:15,333 --> 00:13:17,566 got to have a place in history. 286 00:13:17,566 --> 00:13:22,633 ♪ ♪ 287 00:13:22,633 --> 00:13:24,233 CAREN: I had heard that the first person 288 00:13:24,233 --> 00:13:27,800 diagnosed with autism might still be alive, 289 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,500 and he might be living in this small town in Mississippi. 290 00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:32,666 My first reaction was... 291 00:13:32,666 --> 00:13:34,166 Wow! 292 00:13:34,166 --> 00:13:38,600 And I dialed this phone number, and I heard this voice. 293 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:39,966 I think I found him, 294 00:13:39,966 --> 00:13:42,133 I think I found Donald Triplett, I think this is the guy. 295 00:13:42,133 --> 00:13:45,633 Hey, Donald! 296 00:13:45,633 --> 00:13:46,700 How are ya? 297 00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,400 DONALD: All right, Caren. 298 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:49,733 - Good to see you. 299 00:13:49,733 --> 00:13:51,066 - Good to see you too. - You look great. 300 00:13:51,066 --> 00:13:53,033 - I haven't seen you in so long. (Caren laughs) 301 00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:56,533 - So look what I found. 302 00:13:56,533 --> 00:13:58,800 Is that your graduating class? - Oh yeah. 303 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,366 - Where are you? 304 00:14:00,366 --> 00:14:06,466 - Yeah, that was taken late in 1952. 305 00:14:06,466 --> 00:14:08,333 - And how old were you? 306 00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:12,533 - I was... I was 19 at that time. 307 00:14:12,533 --> 00:14:13,900 (people laughing) 308 00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:15,433 CAREN (voiceover): So after I got to know Donald, 309 00:14:15,433 --> 00:14:16,766 I got to know a lot of his friends and neighbors. 310 00:14:16,766 --> 00:14:20,833 - But I didn't get Archie, I got John instead. 311 00:14:20,833 --> 00:14:22,933 CAREN: And I got to hear their stories about him. 312 00:14:22,933 --> 00:14:26,933 Don assigned everyone that he encountered numbers. 313 00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:29,033 He loves to give numbers to people 314 00:14:29,033 --> 00:14:30,300 and he's been doing that 315 00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:33,400 since when he was in high school, I think. 316 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:39,100 Oh yeah, yeah, he gave me a number 61 or 62 years ago, 569. 317 00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:42,066 I could call Don right now, say, "Don, what's my number?" 318 00:14:42,066 --> 00:14:44,866 DONALD: That's Jon Rushing. 319 00:14:44,866 --> 00:14:47,666 He's one of the people I gave numbers to. 320 00:14:47,666 --> 00:14:50,066 His number is 192. 321 00:14:50,066 --> 00:14:51,200 154. 322 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,866 1,473. 323 00:14:52,866 --> 00:14:54,400 1,315. 324 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,433 One-three-one-five. 325 00:14:56,433 --> 00:14:58,666 DONALD: One, two, three, four, five. 326 00:14:58,666 --> 00:15:00,766 CAREN: Donald's thing with numbers, 327 00:15:00,766 --> 00:15:02,533 it reminds me so much of Mickey. 328 00:15:02,533 --> 00:15:05,433 Europium, Zirconium, Lutetium, Vanadium... 329 00:15:05,433 --> 00:15:07,833 CAREN: They both have their unique way 330 00:15:07,833 --> 00:15:11,800 of organizing the world. 331 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,100 JOHN: Working with Caren all of these years, 332 00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:15,866 I've spent a lot of time with Mickey. 333 00:15:15,866 --> 00:15:18,900 And yeah, he has a lot of things in common with Donald. 334 00:15:18,900 --> 00:15:20,266 But I've also noticed 335 00:15:20,266 --> 00:15:22,333 he's got his own things, and one of them is 336 00:15:22,333 --> 00:15:25,766 that he is really connected to his mother. 337 00:15:25,766 --> 00:15:27,433 Call Mom. 338 00:15:27,433 --> 00:15:29,866 CAREN: Depending on the day, Mickey can call, you know, 339 00:15:29,866 --> 00:15:32,066 12, 13, 14 times a day. 340 00:15:32,066 --> 00:15:33,633 - That was my mom. 341 00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:34,866 He always calls first thing in the morning. 342 00:15:34,866 --> 00:15:37,233 And Mickey talks a lot. 343 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,266 (laughs) 344 00:15:41,266 --> 00:15:42,666 (phone dialing out) 345 00:15:42,666 --> 00:15:43,833 MICKEY (on phone): Hello, Mom! 346 00:15:43,833 --> 00:15:45,000 CAREN (on phone): How you doing sweetie? 347 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:48,266 MICKEY: You know in the periodic table? 348 00:15:48,266 --> 00:15:49,833 CAREN: Ummm... 349 00:15:49,833 --> 00:15:53,100 MICKEY: I made my bed be like the first 102 elements 350 00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:54,766 of the periodic table. 351 00:15:54,766 --> 00:15:57,366 CAREN: Wait, what? What about the periodic table? 352 00:15:57,366 --> 00:15:59,466 MICKEY: There was 102 in the bed also. 353 00:15:59,466 --> 00:16:03,333 Me and 101 animals. 354 00:16:03,333 --> 00:16:04,933 CAREN: Oh, you have 101 animals back in the bed again? 355 00:16:04,933 --> 00:16:06,933 MICKEY: Yes. 356 00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:08,766 CAREN: What happened to just having 20? 357 00:16:08,766 --> 00:16:10,600 MICKEY: It's like the periodic table almost. 358 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,000 CAREN: The 102 is like the periodic table? 359 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,933 MICKEY: Yes. CAREN: Oh... 360 00:16:13,933 --> 00:16:15,200 Okay. 361 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,566 I think you should do whatever makes you happy. 362 00:16:17,566 --> 00:16:19,733 MICKEY: I love you, Mom. CAREN: I love you, sweetheart. 363 00:16:19,733 --> 00:16:23,433 (voiceover): Mickey grew up in New Jersey with us, 364 00:16:23,433 --> 00:16:26,033 but he lives in Arizona now. 365 00:16:26,033 --> 00:16:27,433 (indistinct chatter) 366 00:16:27,433 --> 00:16:31,566 He's part of a community of adults who need support, 367 00:16:31,566 --> 00:16:32,833 and he has that there. 368 00:16:32,833 --> 00:16:33,833 MICKEY: Throwing... 369 00:16:33,833 --> 00:16:36,433 Around the... 370 00:16:36,433 --> 00:16:39,466 - Throwing around the bad pigsties. 371 00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:41,033 (laughs) 372 00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:43,466 - No, that's not a football phrase. 373 00:16:43,466 --> 00:16:44,766 Mickey? 374 00:16:44,766 --> 00:16:45,766 CAREN: You want this on the plane? 375 00:16:45,766 --> 00:16:46,766 - Yes. 376 00:16:46,766 --> 00:16:49,933 - Don't eat it all. 377 00:16:49,933 --> 00:16:52,266 - Old King Cole is a merry old soul 378 00:16:52,266 --> 00:16:54,933 and a merry old soul is he. 379 00:16:54,933 --> 00:16:57,566 - Okay, so why are we doing that? 380 00:16:57,566 --> 00:16:59,166 (voiceover): He's in a program where he's got 381 00:16:59,166 --> 00:17:01,333 his own apartment, and they're trying to teach him 382 00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:02,333 how to live on his own. 383 00:17:02,333 --> 00:17:03,866 - Bye! 384 00:17:03,866 --> 00:17:06,700 - Love you. 385 00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:08,666 - Squeeze? - Squeeze. 386 00:17:09,833 --> 00:17:11,266 Squeeze. 387 00:17:11,266 --> 00:17:14,233 CAREN: Mickey is this young man who's trying to find 388 00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:16,600 his way to navigate the world. 389 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,566 - No, no, no, that's the flight number. 390 00:17:18,566 --> 00:17:20,200 - Squeeze! 391 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,566 All right, I'll see you soon. - Bye! 392 00:17:23,566 --> 00:17:26,433 CAREN (voiceover): I hate that Mickey lives so far away, 393 00:17:26,433 --> 00:17:29,733 but there are just so few programs of any quality 394 00:17:29,733 --> 00:17:33,533 that help adults with autism achieve that. 395 00:17:33,533 --> 00:17:36,100 At least close to us. 396 00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:41,433 So Mickey, he's lovable and charming and sweet, 397 00:17:41,433 --> 00:17:43,666 but he's really, really vulnerable. 398 00:17:43,666 --> 00:17:46,466 And he's out there in the world, 399 00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:49,766 and he doesn't have the skills to know 400 00:17:49,766 --> 00:17:52,300 that he can be in danger. 401 00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:55,100 (ship horn blaring) 402 00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:57,300 As a mom, but also as a journalist, 403 00:17:57,300 --> 00:18:00,433 I've learned that because of basic misunderstandings, 404 00:18:00,433 --> 00:18:03,033 so many bad things can happen to people out there 405 00:18:03,033 --> 00:18:04,466 who have autism. 406 00:18:04,466 --> 00:18:06,966 DISPATCHER: 9-1-1, what's the address of your emergency? 407 00:18:06,966 --> 00:18:08,833 MAN: 1010 Stellar way. 408 00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:10,166 DISPATCH: What's the problem? 409 00:18:10,166 --> 00:18:12,733 MAN: There's an individual that's harassing us. 410 00:18:12,733 --> 00:18:15,333 He's trying to force his way into our car. 411 00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:16,966 DISPATCH: Okay. (beeping) 412 00:18:16,966 --> 00:18:18,800 There's a 9-1-1- call from a subject, 413 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,366 states that he has a subject 414 00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:22,233 that's trying to get into his car. 415 00:18:22,233 --> 00:18:25,000 He has no idea who the subject is. 416 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,733 OFFICER: Headquarters 13-10-8. 417 00:18:26,733 --> 00:18:28,533 Are they fighting? 418 00:18:28,533 --> 00:18:30,033 DISPATCH: That's negative. 419 00:18:31,833 --> 00:18:33,500 - Do you have an ID on you? - No I don't. 420 00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,333 - Put your hands behind your back. 421 00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:37,800 - No! - Stop resisting! 422 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,900 Get the cuffs on him. - Andy, can I go, please! 423 00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:43,200 - Nick, stop! 424 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,766 - I wanna go home! 425 00:18:44,766 --> 00:18:47,166 JUDY (voiceover): When I saw Nick in handcuffs, 426 00:18:47,166 --> 00:18:49,066 I knew he was in a lot of trouble, 427 00:18:49,066 --> 00:18:50,833 in a lot of trouble psychologically. 428 00:18:50,833 --> 00:18:54,300 Nick's crime was checking mail while autistic. 429 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,900 There's no question about it. 430 00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:57,500 And he stopped and talked to somebody 431 00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:58,533 and he should not have. 432 00:18:58,533 --> 00:19:02,200 ♪ ♪ 433 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,066 (boat engine humming) 434 00:19:04,066 --> 00:19:05,733 BOB (voiceover): Nick is such a easygoing, kind person. 435 00:19:05,733 --> 00:19:08,533 You know, I mean, it was surprising 436 00:19:08,533 --> 00:19:11,100 that somebody would be so rough on him. 437 00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:15,933 Other way, other way, other way, other way. 438 00:19:15,933 --> 00:19:17,533 There you go. 439 00:19:17,533 --> 00:19:19,600 Everybody knows Nick in town. 440 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:20,633 He's been here most of his life, 441 00:19:20,633 --> 00:19:22,933 I mean, and everybody knows him. 442 00:19:22,933 --> 00:19:25,066 You know, he makes the dog tags, and he's all over town 443 00:19:25,066 --> 00:19:26,800 with this... with the people that work with him. 444 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,166 MAGGIE: When I first started going out 445 00:19:28,166 --> 00:19:29,700 in the community with Nick, 446 00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:31,966 it was such a warm, 447 00:19:31,966 --> 00:19:34,100 accepted feeling all the time. 448 00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:37,966 VERONICA: Anyone who knows Nick knows that he is 449 00:19:37,966 --> 00:19:42,100 the most easygoing... 450 00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:45,400 (sighs) passive kind of guy. 451 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:49,900 CAREN: He has these routines, and a schedule 452 00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:52,200 that includes walking down the street every day 453 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,300 to get the mail. 454 00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:56,366 Another thing he would do 455 00:19:56,366 --> 00:19:59,000 is he would look into the parked cars along the way, 456 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,400 to make sure they were all locked. 457 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:05,233 But the guys who called the cops on Nick 458 00:20:05,233 --> 00:20:08,633 were from out of town, and they just didn't know him. 459 00:20:08,633 --> 00:20:12,866 They tried asking him, you know, a couple of questions 460 00:20:12,866 --> 00:20:14,666 that it was kind of challenging to answer 461 00:20:14,666 --> 00:20:15,933 because he has autism. 462 00:20:15,933 --> 00:20:18,033 - Do you have an ID on you? - No, I don't. 463 00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:19,633 JUDY: Nick's never been in trouble in his life. 464 00:20:19,633 --> 00:20:20,800 I had no idea what was going on. 465 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,266 I thought maybe somebody was hurt or... 466 00:20:22,266 --> 00:20:24,566 because there was an ambulance and so on and so forth. 467 00:20:24,566 --> 00:20:26,600 I didn't... I had no idea. - I wanna go home! 468 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,533 - I'm going to spray you! 469 00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:33,200 - Do you know this person? - That's my son. 470 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,066 What are you doing with my boy? What happened? 471 00:20:35,066 --> 00:20:37,233 - He was trying to get inside this car. 472 00:20:37,233 --> 00:20:39,300 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, he does that from time to time. 473 00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:41,133 - Okay. - He went to check the mail. 474 00:20:41,133 --> 00:20:42,600 - So what happened was, 475 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,233 they thought he was trying to steal the car. 476 00:20:44,233 --> 00:20:45,533 - Nah. 477 00:20:45,533 --> 00:20:46,600 - I know, I know what you're saying. Is he...? 478 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,300 - He has autism. - Okay. 479 00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:51,000 All right. We pepper sprayed him. 480 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,800 We didn't know he was-- - My God! 481 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,233 I can't believe you pepper sprayed him. 482 00:20:54,233 --> 00:20:57,900 - Ma'am-- - How dare you do this? Oh... 483 00:20:57,900 --> 00:21:00,033 (voiceover): And when I saw how battered he was, 484 00:21:00,033 --> 00:21:03,466 it was really... I just needed to get him to safety. 485 00:21:03,466 --> 00:21:04,966 How dare you? 486 00:21:04,966 --> 00:21:07,466 Do you hear him saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry?" 487 00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:09,233 - Ma'am, I'll talk to you after. - I said, "What did you do?" 488 00:21:09,233 --> 00:21:10,800 No, I'm talking to you now. 489 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,200 - Okay. - What did you do? 490 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,300 "I don't know what I did." 491 00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:14,800 He looked in a car? 492 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:17,866 I turned around and asked him why there were, um... 493 00:21:17,866 --> 00:21:21,100 hand prints around Nick's neck and nails dug into his neck. 494 00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:23,133 Do you see the bruises on his neck? 495 00:21:23,133 --> 00:21:24,300 - Yes. 496 00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:25,900 - Can you explain how this happened? 497 00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:27,200 - Yes. Because he was resisting. 498 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,533 - Oh my God! 499 00:21:28,533 --> 00:21:30,833 So you pepper-sprayed him and choked him? 500 00:21:30,833 --> 00:21:32,100 You choked my son? 501 00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:33,400 - We don't choke people, ma'am. 502 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,400 VERONICA (voiceover): Mistakes happen. 503 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:38,333 Even really bad ones. 504 00:21:38,333 --> 00:21:41,833 But your ability to own them... 505 00:21:41,833 --> 00:21:43,333 Ma'am, let the medics-- 506 00:21:43,333 --> 00:21:45,300 VERONICA: ...is a sign that you can move on, 507 00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:47,200 that you can say "I learned from this." 508 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,766 - Okay, that's refusal then. 509 00:21:49,766 --> 00:21:52,766 That you can at least learn from it. 510 00:21:52,766 --> 00:21:54,700 Obviously, law enforcement survives and thrives 511 00:21:54,700 --> 00:21:56,100 on communication, 512 00:21:56,100 --> 00:21:59,166 and by definition, autism is a communication disorder. 513 00:21:59,166 --> 00:22:00,633 CAREN: You know, police departments 514 00:22:00,633 --> 00:22:01,866 around the country 515 00:22:01,866 --> 00:22:04,433 are really trying to solve this problem. 516 00:22:04,433 --> 00:22:06,366 - Some individuals, obviously, 517 00:22:06,366 --> 00:22:08,133 may not be able to make eye contact with you. 518 00:22:08,133 --> 00:22:09,533 - There are a lot of medical 519 00:22:09,533 --> 00:22:13,066 and mental conditions that create the same effects 520 00:22:13,066 --> 00:22:14,933 as somebody that has autism. 521 00:22:14,933 --> 00:22:17,700 - For our students and residents, 522 00:22:17,700 --> 00:22:18,933 you can just come on in. 523 00:22:18,933 --> 00:22:20,066 You're going to sit next to an officer. 524 00:22:20,066 --> 00:22:22,000 - And what about that right there? 525 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,266 - That's pretty scary. - Yeah. 526 00:22:23,266 --> 00:22:26,266 CAREN: Police need to understand 527 00:22:26,266 --> 00:22:27,466 people with autism better. 528 00:22:27,466 --> 00:22:28,766 And people with autism 529 00:22:28,766 --> 00:22:32,166 need to understand the police as well. 530 00:22:32,166 --> 00:22:33,833 - I like how it talks, that's great. 531 00:22:33,833 --> 00:22:35,933 CAREN: I signed Mickey up for one of these classes 532 00:22:35,933 --> 00:22:41,266 because I can so easily see him innocently getting into trouble. 533 00:22:41,266 --> 00:22:43,533 He'd be afraid of something, he'd run away, 534 00:22:43,533 --> 00:22:46,766 he'd do all the things that you shouldn't do. 535 00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:48,400 (train honks) 536 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,033 We want Mickey out in the world on his own, 537 00:22:51,033 --> 00:22:52,166 and he's worked so hard 538 00:22:52,166 --> 00:22:56,333 to learn how to do so many things. 539 00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:58,633 - Is that policy still a rule to show my bracelet? 540 00:22:58,633 --> 00:23:00,900 - Yes. You did great, thank you. 541 00:23:00,900 --> 00:23:03,266 - But what if I'm wearing a long-sleeved shirt 542 00:23:03,266 --> 00:23:05,033 and it can't be seen? 543 00:23:05,033 --> 00:23:07,166 - Well, I know you, so. - Yeah. 544 00:23:07,166 --> 00:23:09,300 - I know that a lot of you are getting ready to graduate 545 00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:10,666 from the program. 546 00:23:10,666 --> 00:23:12,900 CAREN: His program in Phoenix is all about the things 547 00:23:12,900 --> 00:23:15,166 that are still really challenging for him. 548 00:23:15,166 --> 00:23:16,533 - What else? 549 00:23:16,533 --> 00:23:19,300 - Ability to differentiate between wants and needs. 550 00:23:19,300 --> 00:23:22,100 - Okay, what's a want? Give me an example of a want. 551 00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:23,966 - A want: video games. 552 00:23:23,966 --> 00:23:25,200 - Okay, but what's a need? 553 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:26,500 - Your clothes. - Perfect. 554 00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:28,033 (birds twittering) 555 00:23:28,033 --> 00:23:29,166 (knock on door) 556 00:23:29,166 --> 00:23:30,500 EDDIE: It's Eddie. 557 00:23:30,500 --> 00:23:34,400 CAREN: Mick gets a lot of teaching and coaching. 558 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,666 - Hello! - Good morning, sir. 559 00:23:36,666 --> 00:23:39,900 - I'm leaving at 9:30. - Okay, good. 560 00:23:39,900 --> 00:23:42,033 CAREN: He still has a lot that he can learn. 561 00:23:42,033 --> 00:23:43,700 - Did you brush your teeth? - I did. 562 00:23:43,700 --> 00:23:44,733 - Did you put on your deodorant? 563 00:23:44,733 --> 00:23:45,733 - I did. - You did? 564 00:23:45,733 --> 00:23:46,933 - Yes. 565 00:23:46,933 --> 00:23:48,033 - What kind of deodorant do you use again? 566 00:23:48,033 --> 00:23:49,233 - I use Sure. 567 00:23:49,233 --> 00:23:50,700 - Sure? Is it the stick or the spray? 568 00:23:50,700 --> 00:23:52,833 - A stick. - Okay. All right, Mickey. 569 00:23:52,833 --> 00:23:54,500 Well, you go out and conquer today, okay? 570 00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:56,333 CAREN: But if Mick's really gonna make it out there, 571 00:23:56,333 --> 00:24:00,966 I need to know that everybody else is 572 00:24:00,966 --> 00:24:04,233 ready to make room for him. 573 00:24:04,233 --> 00:24:08,700 And it's not just Mickey, it's everybody who's different. 574 00:24:08,700 --> 00:24:12,066 ♪ ♪ 575 00:24:12,066 --> 00:24:14,233 (cheers and applause) 576 00:24:14,233 --> 00:24:16,833 MAN: Good morning! 577 00:24:16,833 --> 00:24:18,733 Everybody ready for a Wing Dang Doodle this year? 578 00:24:18,733 --> 00:24:19,733 KID: Yeah! 579 00:24:19,733 --> 00:24:21,633 ♪ ♪ 580 00:24:21,633 --> 00:24:23,066 CAREN: When I first started to get to know Donald, 581 00:24:23,066 --> 00:24:24,800 I was really surprised at 582 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,666 the way the community had embraced him, 583 00:24:26,666 --> 00:24:27,800 and understood him, 584 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:31,200 and accepted him, and protected him. 585 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:34,633 Exactly what I want for Mickey. 586 00:24:34,633 --> 00:24:36,066 Well, hi, Don darling! 587 00:24:36,066 --> 00:24:37,266 - Hey! 588 00:24:37,266 --> 00:24:39,300 - Hey! How are you today? 589 00:24:39,300 --> 00:24:42,666 They didn't even know that Donald had autism. 590 00:24:42,666 --> 00:24:44,466 They just knew that Donald was Donald. 591 00:24:44,466 --> 00:24:47,666 SID: I think the mistake people make when they first 592 00:24:47,666 --> 00:24:49,533 encounter Don is that 593 00:24:49,533 --> 00:24:51,400 there's some impairment of his intelligence. 594 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,533 That's absolutely not the case. 595 00:24:54,533 --> 00:24:56,600 He's, he's extremely intelligent 596 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,200 and he's perceptive, 597 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,566 he keeps up with the world around him. 598 00:25:00,566 --> 00:25:04,400 But in conversation, 599 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,866 he's going to come at almost everything from the side. 600 00:25:07,866 --> 00:25:09,500 CAREN: Do you remember, Don, 601 00:25:09,500 --> 00:25:10,600 what... what your... 602 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:12,600 what your dad was like? 603 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,933 SID: He doesn't discuss feelings. 604 00:25:15,933 --> 00:25:20,133 - Yeah, that's right, I remember how tall he was. 605 00:25:20,133 --> 00:25:23,800 He had white hair, he was about 5'8". 606 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,366 SID: You get short snippets of very direct, 607 00:25:26,366 --> 00:25:29,266 sometimes brutally honest answers. 608 00:25:29,266 --> 00:25:30,533 CAREN: What about your mom? 609 00:25:30,533 --> 00:25:31,933 Can you tell me anything about your mother? 610 00:25:31,933 --> 00:25:36,733 - Uh, uh, she was two inches shorter. 611 00:25:36,733 --> 00:25:40,266 Donald is... 612 00:25:40,266 --> 00:25:42,700 Is not really chatty. 613 00:25:42,700 --> 00:25:44,033 To carry on a conversation 614 00:25:44,033 --> 00:25:45,800 in complete sentences, 615 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:47,100 he does not do. 616 00:25:47,100 --> 00:25:48,766 He's not gonna chit-chat. 617 00:25:48,766 --> 00:25:51,400 He'll chit-chat, but it's gonna be a short chit-chat. 618 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:52,866 He loves to be funny. 619 00:25:52,866 --> 00:25:56,600 He'll say, "Hey, Celeste, 620 00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:58,700 I'm gonna shoot you with a rubber band on Sunday." 621 00:25:58,700 --> 00:26:02,066 (piano playing) 622 00:26:02,066 --> 00:26:04,600 It's usually not during the service, 623 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:07,266 it's sometimes before the service or after, 624 00:26:07,266 --> 00:26:12,100 when the preacher pronounces the benediction. 625 00:26:12,100 --> 00:26:14,166 I'll get a little sting and I'll know what it is. 626 00:26:14,166 --> 00:26:21,333 (piano playing) 627 00:26:21,333 --> 00:26:24,866 Did you shoot me with a rubber band? 628 00:26:24,866 --> 00:26:26,666 - Oh, yeah. 629 00:26:26,666 --> 00:26:28,266 I've already shot you. 630 00:26:28,266 --> 00:26:29,466 - I didn't even see you. 631 00:26:29,466 --> 00:26:32,833 It's hard not to love him. 632 00:26:32,833 --> 00:26:35,133 I think it's him, not us. (laughs) 633 00:26:35,133 --> 00:26:38,500 SID: Once you've been around him, it's just difficult 634 00:26:38,500 --> 00:26:43,100 to not want to pull for him and root for him. 635 00:26:43,100 --> 00:26:46,166 And in a community like Forest, one reaction that Don 636 00:26:46,166 --> 00:26:49,433 evoked from the townspeople, 637 00:26:49,433 --> 00:26:51,400 was, yeah, Don's got some odd behaviors 638 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,366 and some eccentricities, 639 00:26:53,366 --> 00:26:56,600 but he's our guy, and we don't want to see 640 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,833 anyone take advantage of him, 641 00:26:58,833 --> 00:27:02,866 or manipulate him, or harm him in any way. 642 00:27:02,866 --> 00:27:05,966 Donald gave me hope, 643 00:27:05,966 --> 00:27:09,166 but I don't know that I knew that at the time. 644 00:27:09,166 --> 00:27:12,966 But I was just so drawn to him and this community. 645 00:27:12,966 --> 00:27:16,533 I want to figure out how did they get it right, 646 00:27:16,533 --> 00:27:18,766 because they really did get it right. 647 00:27:18,766 --> 00:27:22,333 As beautifully as things turned out for Donald, 648 00:27:22,333 --> 00:27:25,333 it wasn't that way for most people with autism 649 00:27:25,333 --> 00:27:26,833 in those early decades, 650 00:27:26,833 --> 00:27:29,566 when all the messages about autism 651 00:27:29,566 --> 00:27:32,400 were totally bleak and dark. 652 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:36,033 ♪ ♪ 653 00:27:36,033 --> 00:27:39,400 NARRATOR: Children in a shell. 654 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,833 In a glass ball. 655 00:27:42,833 --> 00:27:46,700 Cut off from the world around them. 656 00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:49,100 CAREN: It's really heartbreaking, 657 00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:51,566 to think about how children with autism 658 00:27:51,566 --> 00:27:55,066 were treated back then. 659 00:27:55,066 --> 00:27:58,333 Researchers treated kids like lab animals. 660 00:27:58,333 --> 00:28:02,133 They were testing these crazy theories 661 00:28:02,133 --> 00:28:04,000 in not very ethical ways. 662 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,100 They ran LSD experiments on them. 663 00:28:06,100 --> 00:28:08,800 They wrapped them in cold, wet sheets. 664 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:14,400 And they tested pain as a way to focus attention. 665 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:15,866 Then they came up with this really crazy idea, 666 00:28:15,866 --> 00:28:18,800 the Refrigerator Mother theory. 667 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:22,133 RITA: I was made to believe that I was one of those mothers, 668 00:28:22,133 --> 00:28:24,900 that I had caused my child's autism. 669 00:28:24,900 --> 00:28:26,633 CAREN: Did you believe that it was your fault? 670 00:28:26,633 --> 00:28:27,666 - Oh yeah. I did. 671 00:28:27,666 --> 00:28:30,333 Mm-hmm. Sure. CAREN: Why? 672 00:28:30,333 --> 00:28:32,033 RITA: When I was in college I had read 673 00:28:32,033 --> 00:28:34,300 Bruno Bettelheim's book. 674 00:28:34,300 --> 00:28:35,400 ♪ ♪ 675 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,866 He was the authority at the time. 676 00:28:37,866 --> 00:28:39,566 ANNOUNCER: "The Dick Cavett Show!" 677 00:28:39,566 --> 00:28:42,166 My next guest runs a center or school 678 00:28:42,166 --> 00:28:45,533 for severely disturbed children at the University of Chicago 679 00:28:45,533 --> 00:28:46,800 and with a degree of success 680 00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:48,700 that his colleagues have considered miraculous. 681 00:28:48,700 --> 00:28:51,800 His work with... particularly with autistic children. 682 00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:54,266 RITA: Bruno Bettelheim's theory is that 683 00:28:54,266 --> 00:28:56,800 mothers who were cold and unfeeling 684 00:28:56,800 --> 00:29:01,733 were therefore unable to bond with their child. 685 00:29:01,733 --> 00:29:04,633 For every child, in order to survive, 686 00:29:04,633 --> 00:29:06,600 one must have the feeling that somebody... 687 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,766 you are terribly important to somebody. 688 00:29:08,766 --> 00:29:10,366 CAVETT: Somebody cares. 689 00:29:10,366 --> 00:29:12,366 That somebody really cares for you. 690 00:29:12,366 --> 00:29:15,666 This blaming of mothers thing for autism, 691 00:29:15,666 --> 00:29:18,133 was not some fringe idea, 692 00:29:18,133 --> 00:29:19,633 it was some blip that came and went. 693 00:29:19,633 --> 00:29:20,800 It was dominant 694 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:22,833 for a long time in psychiatry, 695 00:29:22,833 --> 00:29:26,466 and it had a huge, huge and damaging impact. 696 00:29:26,466 --> 00:29:29,233 NEWSREEL NARRATOR: Mother is uncertain of herself, 697 00:29:29,233 --> 00:29:31,666 and unduly anxious to please. 698 00:29:31,666 --> 00:29:35,766 In spite of her gentleness, mother's determination 699 00:29:35,766 --> 00:29:37,500 to make normal contact with Margaret, 700 00:29:37,500 --> 00:29:42,066 is apt to drive her further and further into her autism. 701 00:29:42,066 --> 00:29:43,366 Well it sounds crazy now, 702 00:29:43,366 --> 00:29:45,333 but it was very much the theory then. 703 00:29:45,333 --> 00:29:47,833 JOHN: So that just goes to what mothers of autistic children 704 00:29:47,833 --> 00:29:50,766 were being told back then, which was that they had 705 00:29:50,766 --> 00:29:53,600 to go into therapy themselves to learn how to love their kids. 706 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:55,600 RITA: I mean that was the concept that, 707 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,166 you know, that if you could discover what caused it, 708 00:29:57,166 --> 00:30:00,666 then, you know, maybe you could learn to relate better 709 00:30:00,666 --> 00:30:02,133 to your child. 710 00:30:02,133 --> 00:30:05,033 JOHN: It was an epic gaslighting of these mothers 711 00:30:05,033 --> 00:30:06,500 by the psychiatric profession, 712 00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:09,666 and especially Bruno Bettelheim, because it turns out, 713 00:30:09,666 --> 00:30:11,600 he was no expert. 714 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:13,133 After his death in 1990, 715 00:30:13,133 --> 00:30:15,666 it came out that his doctorate was not in psychiatry, 716 00:30:15,666 --> 00:30:17,966 or in psychology, or anything close to that. 717 00:30:17,966 --> 00:30:19,600 It was in art history. 718 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,100 He just had everybody fooled. 719 00:30:22,100 --> 00:30:24,233 RITA: Isn't that something? 720 00:30:24,233 --> 00:30:27,200 Caused an era of women who blamed themselves 721 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:28,466 for their children. 722 00:30:28,466 --> 00:30:31,533 And, you know, and I was an educated woman 723 00:30:31,533 --> 00:30:33,366 and I bought this hook, line, and sinker, 724 00:30:33,366 --> 00:30:35,433 it's amazing. 725 00:30:35,433 --> 00:30:38,900 CAREN: So while many women got swept up in the craziness 726 00:30:38,900 --> 00:30:40,000 of mother blaming, 727 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,900 there were others who began to fight 728 00:30:41,900 --> 00:30:44,000 for the rights of their autistic children. 729 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,533 MOVIE NARRATOR: The outlook for Shawn Lapin is not good. 730 00:30:46,533 --> 00:30:49,300 With help, and care, and proper education, 731 00:30:49,300 --> 00:30:52,800 he could recover and grow into a normal adult. 732 00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:54,500 But it's a long shot. 733 00:30:54,500 --> 00:30:56,833 CAREN: I first met the Lapins in an old documentary 734 00:30:56,833 --> 00:30:58,300 John and I had found. 735 00:30:58,300 --> 00:31:01,433 MOVIE NARRATOR: Take Connie and Harvey Lapin for example. 736 00:31:01,433 --> 00:31:04,200 They have a seven-year-old autistic child. 737 00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,900 They've been running since he was born 738 00:31:06,900 --> 00:31:08,033 looking for help for him. 739 00:31:08,033 --> 00:31:09,766 HARVEY: I think the autistic child 740 00:31:09,766 --> 00:31:12,133 has been the most excluded child in the country. 741 00:31:12,133 --> 00:31:15,900 CAREN: They told me they could remember the exact day 742 00:31:15,900 --> 00:31:17,200 they turned into fighters. 743 00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:22,466 It was in 1971, the day they drove their son 744 00:31:22,466 --> 00:31:25,766 to Camarillo State Hospital to leave him there. 745 00:31:25,766 --> 00:31:28,333 He was three. 746 00:31:28,333 --> 00:31:31,066 It was the same thing Donald's parents had done 747 00:31:31,066 --> 00:31:33,466 34 years earlier. 748 00:31:33,466 --> 00:31:36,900 Can you believe we're doing this? 749 00:31:36,900 --> 00:31:39,966 We took a freeway here that never even existed 750 00:31:39,966 --> 00:31:42,800 how many years ago? 40...? 751 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,266 - When we brought Shawn? - Yeah. 752 00:31:44,266 --> 00:31:47,600 - 47. - (chuckling): 47 years ago. 753 00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:50,400 (sighs) - That was the hardest 754 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:54,700 drive I ever took in my life. 755 00:31:54,700 --> 00:31:57,433 The only school for autism, 756 00:31:57,433 --> 00:31:59,966 and it's Camarillo State Hospital. 757 00:32:02,066 --> 00:32:06,466 CAREN: The hospital's been converted into a college campus. 758 00:32:06,466 --> 00:32:10,566 But a few of the old psych wards are still sitting there, 759 00:32:10,566 --> 00:32:12,100 and, and they're empty. 760 00:32:12,100 --> 00:32:13,266 So do you remember the day 761 00:32:13,266 --> 00:32:16,166 when you... when you drove up here? 762 00:32:16,166 --> 00:32:18,333 The sun was shining like today. 763 00:32:18,333 --> 00:32:20,700 - We had an appointment. - We had an appointment, 764 00:32:20,700 --> 00:32:22,133 and I remember 765 00:32:22,133 --> 00:32:26,100 walking in with Shawn, and Brad, and Harvey. 766 00:32:26,100 --> 00:32:28,633 And we went right to the children's unit. 767 00:32:28,633 --> 00:32:33,333 And we met the director, Dr. Rieger. 768 00:32:33,333 --> 00:32:35,233 He took us around, 769 00:32:35,233 --> 00:32:38,000 and then he looked at us, as a family, 770 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:42,933 and said, "This is the last place for your child. 771 00:32:42,933 --> 00:32:45,933 Go home and figure it out." 772 00:32:45,933 --> 00:32:50,133 He saw a family that he thought would be fighters, I think, 773 00:32:50,133 --> 00:32:54,633 a husband and wife, with resources. 774 00:32:54,633 --> 00:32:56,833 (voice breaking): I'm glad it looks like (muted). 775 00:33:00,900 --> 00:33:02,900 (exhales) 776 00:33:02,900 --> 00:33:04,700 (voice breaking): I'm just glad I didn't do it. 777 00:33:04,700 --> 00:33:08,566 ♪ ♪ 778 00:33:08,566 --> 00:33:10,000 CAREN: What was the fight that you had? 779 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,666 - The right to get in the door. 780 00:33:12,666 --> 00:33:14,166 - The right to education. - Get him in school. 781 00:33:14,166 --> 00:33:15,466 - I can't emphasize enough-- 782 00:33:15,466 --> 00:33:16,866 - To give him the right to go to school. 783 00:33:16,866 --> 00:33:19,700 MOVIE NARRATOR: Most schools won't even accept a child 784 00:33:19,700 --> 00:33:20,866 like Shawn Lapin. 785 00:33:20,866 --> 00:33:22,833 - And now we'll count. 786 00:33:22,833 --> 00:33:28,733 Ready, begin-- one, two, three... 787 00:33:28,733 --> 00:33:30,600 MOVIE NARRATOR: Shawn went through eight programs 788 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,200 in three years. 789 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,533 For each one of them, his mother pounded on a dozen doors 790 00:33:34,533 --> 00:33:36,733 and harangued a score of administrators. 791 00:33:36,733 --> 00:33:38,966 HARVEY: What it came down to, you weren't... 792 00:33:38,966 --> 00:33:40,200 supposedly you weren't 793 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,766 capable to be educated. 794 00:33:42,766 --> 00:33:44,566 If you have autism you're out. - Yes. 795 00:33:44,566 --> 00:33:46,100 - "You can't come here. 796 00:33:46,100 --> 00:33:48,200 We don't, we don't deal with those kind." 797 00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:50,300 It's absolutely astounding to me, 798 00:33:50,300 --> 00:33:54,566 that children with autism did not have the legal right 799 00:33:54,566 --> 00:33:57,500 to go to school back in the '60s and '70s. 800 00:33:57,500 --> 00:33:59,766 And if it wasn't for the parents that got out there 801 00:33:59,766 --> 00:34:01,233 and fought to change that, 802 00:34:01,233 --> 00:34:04,133 you know, someone like my son, Mickey, 803 00:34:04,133 --> 00:34:05,666 wouldn't have been able to go to school. 804 00:34:05,666 --> 00:34:07,533 CONNIE: Shawn became a poster child 805 00:34:07,533 --> 00:34:10,400 to say, "There's a thing called autism." 806 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:13,633 CAREN: They walked picket lines and they raised tons of money. 807 00:34:13,633 --> 00:34:15,800 Well, we want money for research so badly, 808 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:17,100 I can't begin to tell you. 809 00:34:17,100 --> 00:34:19,433 Their lives are passing in front of them... 810 00:34:19,433 --> 00:34:20,600 CAREN: And they went to lawmakers. 811 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:21,600 - ...while they sit on waiting lists. 812 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,000 CAREN: And it took a long time. 813 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:25,333 But they won. 814 00:34:25,333 --> 00:34:28,233 This year, for the first time, 815 00:34:28,233 --> 00:34:30,000 the state of California has ordered 816 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:33,466 that public schools must accept autistic children. 817 00:34:33,466 --> 00:34:36,900 CAREN: Over the years, they campaigned to get 818 00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:38,733 institutions closed... 819 00:34:38,733 --> 00:34:40,000 - Hold on, you don't want to fall. 820 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:41,333 CAREN: ...for research funding, 821 00:34:41,333 --> 00:34:44,166 and housing opportunities. 822 00:34:44,166 --> 00:34:46,533 And they're still not done. 823 00:34:46,533 --> 00:34:49,266 They're almost regulars at the California statehouse, 824 00:34:49,266 --> 00:34:53,400 still fighting for the rights of people with autism. 825 00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:56,266 - I'm here still today, at my age 78, 826 00:34:56,266 --> 00:35:00,166 because I still have hope, and I won't stop fighting, 827 00:35:00,166 --> 00:35:02,200 and I'm hopeful that you will make a safety net 828 00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:03,633 that's realistic. 829 00:35:03,633 --> 00:35:06,500 CAREN: And so Shawn, he lives with his brother Brad, 830 00:35:06,500 --> 00:35:09,233 and some other support staff. - Hello, Shawn! 831 00:35:09,233 --> 00:35:11,000 CAREN: And that support, it's expensive. 832 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:15,866 (people cheering) 833 00:35:15,866 --> 00:35:17,066 And they need to know it'll be there 834 00:35:17,066 --> 00:35:18,633 when they're gone. 835 00:35:18,633 --> 00:35:20,300 That's why they fight. 836 00:35:20,300 --> 00:35:24,300 It's love that keeps them 837 00:35:24,300 --> 00:35:27,000 and so many other families going. 838 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,333 (people cheering) 839 00:35:28,333 --> 00:35:29,833 You got 'em! 840 00:35:29,833 --> 00:35:31,166 - Whoo! Shawn! (cheers and applause) 841 00:35:31,166 --> 00:35:33,333 - He got a-- look! Look! Look! Look! 842 00:35:33,333 --> 00:35:35,100 He got a strike! 843 00:35:35,100 --> 00:35:37,300 (cheers and applause) 844 00:35:37,300 --> 00:35:39,366 ♪ ♪ 845 00:35:39,366 --> 00:35:41,733 CAREN: Love also helps, in trying to understand 846 00:35:41,733 --> 00:35:46,466 that complicated question: what is autism? 847 00:35:46,466 --> 00:35:50,033 What does being autistic mean? 848 00:35:50,033 --> 00:35:52,866 (phone dialing out) 849 00:35:52,866 --> 00:35:54,600 Hi, I can't wait to see you! 850 00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:57,133 MICKEY (on phone): I hope Molly can come. 851 00:35:57,133 --> 00:35:58,600 CAREN: Molly is gonna come. 852 00:35:58,600 --> 00:35:59,766 MICKEY: I love you. 853 00:35:59,766 --> 00:36:01,366 CAREN: I love you too. 854 00:36:01,366 --> 00:36:02,800 MOLLY: Hi! - Hello, Molly. 855 00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:04,000 - Come give me a hug. 856 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,466 CAREN: Molly is the love of Mickey's life. 857 00:36:05,466 --> 00:36:07,500 - Hi! - Hello. 858 00:36:07,500 --> 00:36:09,000 - How are you? - I'm fine. 859 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,500 - What's up? - I'm having a good time. 860 00:36:11,500 --> 00:36:14,433 CAREN: They have this extraordinarily 861 00:36:14,433 --> 00:36:16,600 beautiful relationship. 862 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:19,366 And she gets how Mickey has his own way of thinking. 863 00:36:19,366 --> 00:36:21,466 - Wait, can you show me your apartment? 864 00:36:21,466 --> 00:36:23,000 - Yes. 865 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:27,300 - Oh... my God! 866 00:36:27,300 --> 00:36:29,533 (laughs) 867 00:36:29,533 --> 00:36:31,466 That's a lot of stuffed animals. - Yes. 868 00:36:31,466 --> 00:36:32,600 - Do you have your keys? - Yes. 869 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,200 - Or is it open? - It's open. 870 00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:35,700 - (laughing): Oh my God! 871 00:36:35,700 --> 00:36:37,700 Did you get more than last time? 872 00:36:37,700 --> 00:36:41,266 - I'm trying to find the animal I named after you. 873 00:36:41,266 --> 00:36:44,800 This is the one I named after you, Molly. 874 00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:46,566 - That's so cute, what kind is it? 875 00:36:46,566 --> 00:36:47,633 - It's a cat. 876 00:36:47,633 --> 00:36:49,466 - How do you sleep here? 877 00:36:49,466 --> 00:36:52,966 - I love it. Joy joy. 878 00:36:52,966 --> 00:36:55,600 - Wait, how did you even collect all these? 879 00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:56,866 Do you buy these yourself? 880 00:36:56,866 --> 00:36:58,500 - Yes with joy joy. 881 00:36:58,500 --> 00:37:02,266 - With what money? - My own. 882 00:37:02,266 --> 00:37:03,800 Safe to pet? 883 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:05,133 - (laughs) 884 00:37:05,133 --> 00:37:06,433 What is this? - Koala. 885 00:37:06,433 --> 00:37:08,233 ♪ ♪ 886 00:37:08,233 --> 00:37:10,166 CAREN: Now about these animals, 887 00:37:10,166 --> 00:37:12,800 they all belong to a system. 888 00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:14,800 In Mickey's mind that is. 889 00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,733 Mickey gives each animal a number. 890 00:37:17,733 --> 00:37:19,333 Like this one is number seven. 891 00:37:19,333 --> 00:37:22,300 Which he then connects with the periodic table, 892 00:37:22,300 --> 00:37:25,033 where the seventh element is nitrogen. 893 00:37:25,033 --> 00:37:29,166 But seven is also a number he assigns to his sister, Molly. 894 00:37:29,166 --> 00:37:33,200 And Molly also gets a song to go with her name and number, 895 00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,633 "Old MacDonald." 896 00:37:35,633 --> 00:37:39,300 Or this animal, he's given it the number 46. 897 00:37:39,300 --> 00:37:41,733 Element on the table, palladium. 898 00:37:41,733 --> 00:37:44,666 Person with the number, Liz, his friend. 899 00:37:44,666 --> 00:37:47,533 And she gets an Irish ballad for her song, 900 00:37:47,533 --> 00:37:51,033 "Star of the County Down." 901 00:37:51,033 --> 00:37:52,600 And on it goes, 902 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:57,266 animal, number, element, person, song. 903 00:37:57,266 --> 00:38:02,700 Animal, number, element, person, song. 904 00:38:02,700 --> 00:38:05,033 He's got thousands of these connections 905 00:38:05,033 --> 00:38:06,766 going on in his head, 906 00:38:06,766 --> 00:38:10,466 and they're all organized, all the time. 907 00:38:10,466 --> 00:38:15,600 And maybe nobody else gets it, but he does. 908 00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:19,133 Autism is a little different. 909 00:38:19,133 --> 00:38:24,566 Your brain works a lot differently than most people. 910 00:38:24,566 --> 00:38:25,900 We don't like change. 911 00:38:25,900 --> 00:38:27,433 We don't like the unexpected. 912 00:38:27,433 --> 00:38:30,200 It's not always easy 913 00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,700 for me to relate to other people. 914 00:38:32,700 --> 00:38:35,566 You have to learn things intellectually 915 00:38:35,566 --> 00:38:37,100 that other people know intuitively. 916 00:38:37,100 --> 00:38:41,333 When a layperson asks me, um, 917 00:38:41,333 --> 00:38:43,333 "What is autism?" like my response is 918 00:38:43,333 --> 00:38:46,866 it's a developmental disorder that impacts communication 919 00:38:46,866 --> 00:38:48,733 and social skills. 920 00:38:48,733 --> 00:38:50,533 Obviously there's more to it than that. 921 00:38:50,533 --> 00:38:53,300 When I'm asked to go a little further, 922 00:38:53,300 --> 00:38:58,300 and I say well, for example, people on the spectrum 923 00:38:58,300 --> 00:39:01,233 tend to be very concrete. 924 00:39:01,233 --> 00:39:04,833 So if you use subjective language, if you use metaphor, 925 00:39:04,833 --> 00:39:06,366 if you use simile, 926 00:39:06,366 --> 00:39:09,733 they may not really understand what you're trying to say. 927 00:39:09,733 --> 00:39:11,500 - Tell them about the episode 928 00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:13,800 where our mother 929 00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:15,633 suggested it to you that drink 930 00:39:15,633 --> 00:39:17,566 six glasses of water a day. 931 00:39:17,566 --> 00:39:18,833 You remember that? 932 00:39:18,833 --> 00:39:21,500 DONALD: Yes I remember that. 933 00:39:21,500 --> 00:39:23,933 OLIVER: Well, what did you do? 934 00:39:23,933 --> 00:39:26,800 I got six glasses, and lined them up 935 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:28,200 and filled them with water, 936 00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,333 and I drank one by one, each one of them. 937 00:39:31,333 --> 00:39:34,333 - Mother came in there and said, "Don, what are you doing?" 938 00:39:34,333 --> 00:39:36,466 And Don's response to her was, 939 00:39:36,466 --> 00:39:38,266 "Well, you told me to drink six glasses 940 00:39:38,266 --> 00:39:41,433 (laughing): of water a day, that's what I'm doing." 941 00:39:41,433 --> 00:39:42,733 - Ah, right. 942 00:39:42,733 --> 00:39:47,533 I was diagnosed in my early 40s as an adult, 943 00:39:47,533 --> 00:39:50,466 and I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. 944 00:39:50,466 --> 00:39:53,066 Can I take a picture of you on that stump over there? 945 00:39:53,066 --> 00:39:54,466 VALERIE: The core characteristics 946 00:39:54,466 --> 00:40:00,533 of autism include social and communication differences. 947 00:40:00,533 --> 00:40:02,100 - All right, put your arms out. 948 00:40:02,100 --> 00:40:03,633 VALERIE: As well as what we call 949 00:40:03,633 --> 00:40:07,600 in the diagnostic literature 950 00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:09,566 repeated and restricted interests. 951 00:40:09,566 --> 00:40:13,466 - Question: when we were talking about autism 952 00:40:13,466 --> 00:40:15,300 and then you were talking about Julia, 953 00:40:15,300 --> 00:40:19,066 from "Sesame Street," can you tell me a little bit about her? 954 00:40:19,066 --> 00:40:21,833 - She was the first character to have autism. 955 00:40:21,833 --> 00:40:23,500 - On "Sesame Street"? - Yes. 956 00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:25,300 May I see your painting, Julia? 957 00:40:25,300 --> 00:40:28,666 Um... Julia? 958 00:40:28,666 --> 00:40:32,133 - Sometimes it takes Julia a while to answer. 959 00:40:32,133 --> 00:40:34,733 It helps to ask again. 960 00:40:34,733 --> 00:40:36,200 Uh, Julia? - Hm? 961 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:37,666 - Can Big Bird see your painting? 962 00:40:37,666 --> 00:40:39,800 - See your painting? Yes. 963 00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:45,033 - Do you see any similarities between you and Julia? 964 00:40:45,033 --> 00:40:48,033 - Because we both have a similar way... 965 00:40:48,033 --> 00:40:50,500 - Of what? - Of, of communicating. 966 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,400 - How many languages can you say the word cat in? 967 00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:58,700 - In Russian, koshka. 968 00:40:58,700 --> 00:41:00,500 - Spanish? - Gato. 969 00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:02,500 It's the same in Italian as well. 970 00:41:02,500 --> 00:41:04,033 VALERIE: I like to call 971 00:41:04,033 --> 00:41:06,166 repeated and restricted interests, 972 00:41:06,166 --> 00:41:10,133 deep and focused interests. (chuckles) 973 00:41:10,133 --> 00:41:14,033 Um, and I like that because that it describes my experience 974 00:41:14,033 --> 00:41:15,466 and the experience of others 975 00:41:15,466 --> 00:41:18,200 in a less clinical way. 976 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:20,033 - Gato, that's Portuguese. 977 00:41:20,033 --> 00:41:22,233 - We have seven names we can say cats in? 978 00:41:22,233 --> 00:41:23,400 - Yes. 979 00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:26,666 ♪ ♪ 980 00:41:26,666 --> 00:41:29,200 (marching band playing) 981 00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:30,800 JOHN: When Caren and I were trying to figure out 982 00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,500 why Forest was so accepting of Donald 983 00:41:33,500 --> 00:41:35,800 in an era when acceptance like that was so rare, 984 00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:38,400 you know, and kids like him, you know, didn't get to go school, 985 00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:41,800 we found a really important fact-- 986 00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:43,000 he did get to go to school, 987 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,700 in this little town in Mississippi 988 00:41:44,700 --> 00:41:46,300 And, in fact, that's where this whole 989 00:41:46,300 --> 00:41:48,933 generation of people in his community, 990 00:41:48,933 --> 00:41:50,733 first got to know him. 991 00:41:50,733 --> 00:41:52,666 JOBYNA: I've known Don 992 00:41:52,666 --> 00:41:56,966 since he was... six years old. 993 00:41:56,966 --> 00:42:00,733 My first memories would start in the second grade. 994 00:42:00,733 --> 00:42:02,933 JOHN: And we learned that it was his mother, 995 00:42:02,933 --> 00:42:04,800 Mary Triplett, who got him in. 996 00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:06,933 She reached out personally to the principal 997 00:42:06,933 --> 00:42:08,966 of the local elementary school. 998 00:42:08,966 --> 00:42:11,533 - I would bet that they could, you know, probably hear 999 00:42:11,533 --> 00:42:13,666 the desperation in her voice 1000 00:42:13,666 --> 00:42:16,333 and realized that, you know, 1001 00:42:16,333 --> 00:42:18,733 she, she really wanted this to happen. 1002 00:42:18,733 --> 00:42:24,133 JOHN: She more or less insisted that they take her son there. 1003 00:42:24,133 --> 00:42:27,400 And what that at least partly reflects, we think, 1004 00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:29,700 is the clout that the family Triplett 1005 00:42:29,700 --> 00:42:31,266 had in the small town of Forest. 1006 00:42:31,266 --> 00:42:34,466 Because they stood at the top of the social hierarchy there. 1007 00:42:34,466 --> 00:42:36,700 SID: Don's father was one 1008 00:42:36,700 --> 00:42:39,633 of the pillars of the community. 1009 00:42:39,633 --> 00:42:41,833 The other thing is his family had resources. 1010 00:42:41,833 --> 00:42:42,966 - Yeah. 1011 00:42:42,966 --> 00:42:44,700 - You know, they could-- - Good resources. 1012 00:42:44,700 --> 00:42:48,033 CAREN: So as I learned more about Donald's happy life, 1013 00:42:48,033 --> 00:42:49,533 I began to see that 1014 00:42:49,533 --> 00:42:53,633 his story had a lot to do with who his family was, 1015 00:42:53,633 --> 00:42:56,533 and that they had money, and influence. 1016 00:42:58,533 --> 00:43:01,233 But, the reality is, 1017 00:43:01,233 --> 00:43:05,600 so many families will never have those advantages. 1018 00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:08,933 JASON: I think my story is just the average story. 1019 00:43:08,933 --> 00:43:11,400 You know, a single parent raising a kid. 1020 00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:13,266 You know, I just happen to be a man, 1021 00:43:13,266 --> 00:43:16,133 a single daddy raising his son who happens to be autistic. 1022 00:43:16,133 --> 00:43:19,500 You know, it was just... he was in a bad situation, 1023 00:43:19,500 --> 00:43:20,800 you know, when he... 1024 00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:22,966 Before I got custody of him at 18 months old. 1025 00:43:22,966 --> 00:43:25,266 Wasn't being taken care of properly, that kind of stuff. 1026 00:43:25,266 --> 00:43:28,433 Mom was on drugs, all that. 1027 00:43:28,433 --> 00:43:29,666 What's up? 1028 00:43:29,666 --> 00:43:31,000 - What's up. 1029 00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:34,566 - You waiting on the van? - Yes. 1030 00:43:34,566 --> 00:43:36,666 - You going to school? - Yes. 1031 00:43:36,666 --> 00:43:38,633 - Gonna have fun? - Yes. 1032 00:43:38,633 --> 00:43:39,933 - When I say severely autistic, 1033 00:43:39,933 --> 00:43:43,833 I mean my son requires around-the-clock care 1034 00:43:43,833 --> 00:43:47,600 because most things he can't be left to do on his own, 1035 00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:50,466 because if he is, it ain't going to get done. 1036 00:43:50,466 --> 00:43:52,133 I have to wash him up in the bathtub, 1037 00:43:52,133 --> 00:43:54,400 because if I try to leave him alone to do it, 1038 00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:56,733 he won't do it, and he's also epileptic, 1039 00:43:56,733 --> 00:43:58,433 so he can't be left alone in the bathtub. 1040 00:43:58,433 --> 00:44:00,566 - Have... have a good day. 1041 00:44:00,566 --> 00:44:02,066 - All right. See you. 1042 00:44:02,066 --> 00:44:03,833 - See ya! 1043 00:44:03,833 --> 00:44:06,600 Even going to the bathroom, I have to be there. 1044 00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:08,666 I have to guide him through going to the bathroom, 1045 00:44:08,666 --> 00:44:10,000 even though he knows how to do it. 1046 00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,433 If I don't go with him, he won't go. 1047 00:44:12,433 --> 00:44:15,500 Or he'll go on the floor, or he'll go in the sink, 1048 00:44:15,500 --> 00:44:16,833 or he'll wipe it all over the bathroom, 1049 00:44:16,833 --> 00:44:18,266 or something like that. 1050 00:44:18,266 --> 00:44:22,400 CAREN: Do you get any kind of support from anybody? 1051 00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:25,400 - Not really. Not really, it's just, it's just me. 1052 00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:28,066 CAREN: I know you've told me that you're not working. 1053 00:44:28,066 --> 00:44:29,766 JASON: I was a painter, 1054 00:44:29,766 --> 00:44:31,500 I was painting the different apartments, 1055 00:44:31,500 --> 00:44:32,800 like when people move out, 1056 00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:34,266 I would go in, clean the apartment, 1057 00:44:34,266 --> 00:44:36,900 paint it, get it ready for the next tenants. 1058 00:44:36,900 --> 00:44:39,533 But when my son started having seizures, that meant 1059 00:44:39,533 --> 00:44:42,066 me not showing up for work for two days. 1060 00:44:42,066 --> 00:44:43,800 So I lost the painting job. 1061 00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:48,366 Then I got a job cleaning offices down the street. 1062 00:44:48,366 --> 00:44:49,833 But then I couldn't even do that 1063 00:44:49,833 --> 00:44:52,900 (chuckling): because I kept getting calls from school. 1064 00:44:52,900 --> 00:44:55,200 He's hitting the staff, or he's scratching the staff. 1065 00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:57,433 He's drawing blood, you have to come get him, 1066 00:44:57,433 --> 00:44:58,433 he's a danger. 1067 00:44:58,433 --> 00:45:01,233 Come on. - (indistinct) 1068 00:45:01,233 --> 00:45:03,066 CAREN: Sheamus is one of those kids that has 1069 00:45:03,066 --> 00:45:06,700 the kind of autism that the public rarely gets to see. 1070 00:45:06,700 --> 00:45:10,133 And that really isolates families, 1071 00:45:10,133 --> 00:45:12,800 especially families that don't have money and support. 1072 00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:15,233 - Wanna meet somebody? - Yeah. 1073 00:45:15,233 --> 00:45:17,333 - Okay, that's Caren. Wanna say hi? 1074 00:45:17,333 --> 00:45:18,733 - Hi. - Hello! 1075 00:45:18,733 --> 00:45:20,033 (Jason chuckles) Hi Caren. 1076 00:45:20,033 --> 00:45:21,466 - Hi! - Hello. 1077 00:45:21,466 --> 00:45:23,900 - Come on. 1078 00:45:27,033 --> 00:45:28,233 - Hello! 1079 00:45:28,233 --> 00:45:30,266 (Jason laughs) 1080 00:45:30,266 --> 00:45:31,600 - Can I shake your hand? 1081 00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:32,600 - Yeah. 1082 00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:35,066 - Nice to meet you. 1083 00:45:35,066 --> 00:45:37,000 - Oh! 1084 00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,666 CAREN: I learned about him because his dad found his way 1085 00:45:39,666 --> 00:45:41,466 around the isolation part. 1086 00:45:41,466 --> 00:45:43,833 He tweets, all the time, 1087 00:45:43,833 --> 00:45:45,933 about his life with Sheamus. 1088 00:45:45,933 --> 00:45:47,633 JASON: I went to Twitter, and I said, 1089 00:45:47,633 --> 00:45:49,400 "Well, this is gonna be where 1090 00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:51,833 "I'm gonna speak how I wanna speak about autism. 1091 00:45:51,833 --> 00:45:54,533 "I am gonna tell what my son does every day. 1092 00:45:54,533 --> 00:45:56,500 I'm gonna tell what I do every day." 1093 00:45:56,500 --> 00:45:58,600 And if people don't like it, 1094 00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:00,500 they can unfollow or leave me alone. 1095 00:46:00,500 --> 00:46:02,466 Don't gotta be bothered. 1096 00:46:02,466 --> 00:46:04,700 You know, I'm gonna name it Autism Hood, 1097 00:46:04,700 --> 00:46:07,033 'cause it's a hood of autism, where people can come, 1098 00:46:07,033 --> 00:46:09,000 congregate, talk about things, 1099 00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:12,900 complain about things, cry about things, 1100 00:46:12,900 --> 00:46:15,400 rejoice about things. 1101 00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:19,000 And if you're having a bad day, we can have bad days together, 1102 00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,733 or we're having good days together, we can do that. 1103 00:46:21,733 --> 00:46:25,466 Talk about our kids, anything, you know? 1104 00:46:25,466 --> 00:46:27,833 Just keep it positive, pretty much. 1105 00:46:27,833 --> 00:46:30,033 Like if my son woke up one morning, 1106 00:46:30,033 --> 00:46:32,633 and decided to just run through the house naked 1107 00:46:32,633 --> 00:46:34,166 until it was time to go to school, 1108 00:46:34,166 --> 00:46:35,600 (chuckling): then I would tweet that out, 1109 00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:36,666 because that's what actually happened. 1110 00:46:36,666 --> 00:46:38,500 But then somewhere in Twitter-land, 1111 00:46:38,500 --> 00:46:41,100 it happens somewhere else, and they read it, 1112 00:46:41,100 --> 00:46:43,033 and they were like, "Oh my God, the same thing happened, 1113 00:46:43,033 --> 00:46:44,166 "thank you for writing that, 1114 00:46:44,166 --> 00:46:45,166 "'cause I didn't wanna write that." 1115 00:46:45,166 --> 00:46:47,200 (clippers buzzing) 1116 00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:49,466 I think the biggest thing that social media does 1117 00:46:49,466 --> 00:46:50,900 for special needs parents is 1118 00:46:50,900 --> 00:46:54,033 makes them feel like they're not alone, 1119 00:46:54,033 --> 00:46:55,600 you're not isolated. 1120 00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:57,933 That's how you cut hair. (chuckles) 1121 00:46:57,933 --> 00:47:00,433 How you like it, Bo? - Good. 1122 00:47:00,433 --> 00:47:01,933 JASON (voiceover): Well, if I'm not here 1123 00:47:01,933 --> 00:47:04,100 to do this constant assistance and help, 1124 00:47:04,100 --> 00:47:06,066 then who is gonna be here to do that? 1125 00:47:06,066 --> 00:47:08,300 I think if I'm not here to do it, 1126 00:47:08,300 --> 00:47:11,600 he's just not gonna get it. 1127 00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:13,466 Nobody's gonna do what I do. 1128 00:47:13,466 --> 00:47:15,333 And I honestly believe that. 1129 00:47:15,333 --> 00:47:17,200 Nobody in my life that I know 1130 00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:20,933 is gonna take over, and do every single thing 1131 00:47:20,933 --> 00:47:24,000 the way I do it, every single day. 1132 00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:25,700 They're just not, 'cause they're not 1133 00:47:25,700 --> 00:47:27,700 invested in my son like I am. 1134 00:47:27,700 --> 00:47:30,566 And that's the reality of it, you know? 1135 00:47:30,566 --> 00:47:32,866 If I was to suddenly pass away, I'm pretty sure 1136 00:47:32,866 --> 00:47:34,400 he wouldn't understand what happened. 1137 00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:35,833 CAREN: So you just can't die? 1138 00:47:35,833 --> 00:47:38,333 Right. Right. Just gotta be immortal, you know. 1139 00:47:38,333 --> 00:47:40,366 Gotta get some robot parts and all that kind of stuff. 1140 00:47:40,366 --> 00:47:41,966 Ready to say bye? 1141 00:47:41,966 --> 00:47:42,966 - Bye! 1142 00:47:42,966 --> 00:47:44,966 - Say bye-bye. - Bye-bye. 1143 00:47:44,966 --> 00:47:46,600 (phone dialing out) 1144 00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:48,000 CAREN: Mickster! MICKEY (on phone): Meow! 1145 00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:49,233 CAREN: How are you, baby? 1146 00:47:49,233 --> 00:47:51,666 Do you know what cats like to wish me? 1147 00:47:51,666 --> 00:47:53,800 A meowie Christmas. 1148 00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:57,300 CAREN: Mickey is totally into cats. 1149 00:47:57,300 --> 00:47:58,533 - Meow. 1150 00:47:58,533 --> 00:47:59,833 CAREN: He meows a lot. 1151 00:47:59,833 --> 00:48:03,033 - Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow. 1152 00:48:03,033 --> 00:48:04,966 And he purrs a lot, 1153 00:48:04,966 --> 00:48:06,966 and he'll tell you that he's purrfect. 1154 00:48:06,966 --> 00:48:08,966 How do you say cat in Dutch? 1155 00:48:08,966 --> 00:48:11,766 How do you say cat in Castilian? 1156 00:48:11,766 --> 00:48:14,266 How do you say cat in Swedish? 1157 00:48:14,266 --> 00:48:17,166 SIRI: I can't translate into Swedish yet. 1158 00:48:17,166 --> 00:48:18,700 I wanted Mickey to have a kitten 1159 00:48:18,700 --> 00:48:20,533 'cause I felt that he was lonely. 1160 00:48:20,533 --> 00:48:24,400 - ♪ Here kitty, kitty, kitty ♪ 1161 00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:26,233 CAREN: Mickey and I talked about getting a kitten 1162 00:48:26,233 --> 00:48:28,200 for probably almost a year. 1163 00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:31,066 (on phone): How are you feeling about the cat kitten thing? 1164 00:48:31,066 --> 00:48:33,800 - I'm feeling fine, right meow. 1165 00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:36,866 (cat meows) 1166 00:48:36,866 --> 00:48:41,166 KEN: If you decide that you do want to adopt, 1167 00:48:41,166 --> 00:48:43,866 you almost have to get to a point where you hold them, 1168 00:48:43,866 --> 00:48:45,566 because they'll come to you for... 1169 00:48:45,566 --> 00:48:47,933 - I'd rather pet them and not adopt them. 1170 00:48:47,933 --> 00:48:49,966 - That's okay. That's perfectly fine. 1171 00:48:49,966 --> 00:48:51,900 CAREN (on phone): How are you feeling about getting a cat? 1172 00:48:51,900 --> 00:48:53,400 - A little bit nervous. 1173 00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:55,033 CAREN: A little bit nervous? 1174 00:48:55,033 --> 00:48:56,433 Do you not wanna get one? 1175 00:48:56,433 --> 00:48:59,800 - I don't know... I don't know if I wanna get one. 1176 00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:00,966 CAREN: All right. You know, you don't have to get one 1177 00:49:00,966 --> 00:49:02,366 if you don't want one. - Okay. 1178 00:49:02,366 --> 00:49:04,600 CAREN: But I really thought 1179 00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:07,566 it might be something that made him happy. 1180 00:49:07,566 --> 00:49:10,933 So as part of the transition program that Mickey was in, 1181 00:49:10,933 --> 00:49:13,000 a whole bunch of students and Mickey 1182 00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:14,033 went to this animal shelter, 1183 00:49:14,033 --> 00:49:17,500 to feed these preemie kittens 1184 00:49:17,500 --> 00:49:19,000 and to play with kittens, 1185 00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:20,533 and I thought this was like sort of the perfect opportunity. 1186 00:49:20,533 --> 00:49:22,833 - ♪ Here kitty, kitty, kitty. ♪ 1187 00:49:22,833 --> 00:49:24,300 (fake cough) 1188 00:49:24,300 --> 00:49:25,900 I'm allergic to kittens. 1189 00:49:25,900 --> 00:49:27,733 CAREN: I'm trying to get Mickey to hold the kittens, 1190 00:49:27,733 --> 00:49:29,933 and like telling him how cute they are, 1191 00:49:29,933 --> 00:49:32,366 and you could see Mickey's face. 1192 00:49:32,366 --> 00:49:33,933 It's like a stuffed animal. 1193 00:49:33,933 --> 00:49:35,500 Do you wanna bottle feed it? 1194 00:49:35,500 --> 00:49:38,000 - I'm allergic to this cat. 1195 00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:43,000 CAREN: And I go to give Mickey a kitten, and I know this is it. 1196 00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:44,900 Sit down. Just sit down. 1197 00:49:44,900 --> 00:49:47,066 - I'm a little bit nervous. - I know. 1198 00:49:47,066 --> 00:49:49,033 Just sit down right here. 1199 00:49:49,033 --> 00:49:51,500 - Don't give the cat to me. - I'm not giving the cat to you. 1200 00:49:51,500 --> 00:49:52,933 And he looks at me and he says... 1201 00:49:52,933 --> 00:49:55,566 - I think baby kittens are disgusting. 1202 00:49:55,566 --> 00:49:56,833 - Mickey! 1203 00:49:56,833 --> 00:49:58,366 And that was it. 1204 00:49:58,366 --> 00:50:00,333 No more kitten. 1205 00:50:00,333 --> 00:50:02,366 I think he's probably afraid of the kittens. 1206 00:50:02,366 --> 00:50:04,266 - I don't know what that kitty's name is. 1207 00:50:04,266 --> 00:50:06,866 CAREN: Animals kind of scare him because they're unpredictable. 1208 00:50:06,866 --> 00:50:09,533 And people with autism like predictability. 1209 00:50:09,533 --> 00:50:11,533 So it would make sense that he would like 1210 00:50:11,533 --> 00:50:14,166 a stuffed animal that he knows exactly what it's gonna do 1211 00:50:14,166 --> 00:50:15,733 and when it's gonna do it, which is nothing, 1212 00:50:15,733 --> 00:50:17,333 to a real animal. 1213 00:50:17,333 --> 00:50:20,633 I love these animals, they're my friends, 1214 00:50:20,633 --> 00:50:22,866 my stuffed animal friends. 1215 00:50:22,866 --> 00:50:25,566 I just felt badly for him. 1216 00:50:25,566 --> 00:50:27,266 That's all. 1217 00:50:28,566 --> 00:50:31,766 Because I can't give him someone to snuggle, 1218 00:50:31,766 --> 00:50:34,200 to be his companion. 1219 00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:37,533 It was never about him wanting to own a cat. 1220 00:50:37,533 --> 00:50:39,266 - I'm excited. 1221 00:50:39,266 --> 00:50:40,500 Mama pull her tail. 1222 00:50:40,500 --> 00:50:41,933 (laughs) 1223 00:50:41,933 --> 00:50:43,400 CAREN: I don't pull tails. 1224 00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:45,266 - We went through this, this morning, Mickey. 1225 00:50:45,266 --> 00:50:46,900 Does she pull tails? 1226 00:50:46,900 --> 00:50:48,833 - Tails are not for pulling. (all laugh) 1227 00:50:48,833 --> 00:50:52,266 CAREN: Mickey discovered a way he could relate to people. 1228 00:50:52,266 --> 00:50:53,966 ("Meow Mix Jingle" playing on cell phone) 1229 00:50:53,966 --> 00:50:56,500 (chuckling) 1230 00:50:56,500 --> 00:50:58,066 CAREN: For someone like Mickey, 1231 00:50:58,066 --> 00:51:00,566 who has a hard time connecting to people, 1232 00:51:00,566 --> 00:51:04,100 his cat patter, it's, it's his way in. 1233 00:51:04,100 --> 00:51:05,733 - (on phone): ...out the window, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow 1234 00:51:05,733 --> 00:51:06,800 meow, meow, meow. 1235 00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:10,400 ♪ ♪ 1236 00:51:11,366 --> 00:51:16,233 JOBYNA: I think in certain areas, he's a genius. 1237 00:51:16,233 --> 00:51:18,266 You could give him... 1238 00:51:18,266 --> 00:51:20,300 complicated numbers, 1239 00:51:20,300 --> 00:51:25,900 you know, like 317 plus 109 and 10, 1240 00:51:25,900 --> 00:51:28,366 all of that, like a list of three, 1241 00:51:28,366 --> 00:51:29,966 and he'd sit there a few minutes, 1242 00:51:29,966 --> 00:51:32,133 (clicks tongue) give you that number. 1243 00:51:32,133 --> 00:51:33,300 - He could multiply them. 1244 00:51:33,300 --> 00:51:35,900 Four-digit numbers... - Yeah. 1245 00:51:35,900 --> 00:51:37,400 - By four-digit numbers. 1246 00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:39,666 You remember the movie "Rain Man"? 1247 00:51:39,666 --> 00:51:41,133 And, and the toothpicks? 1248 00:51:42,300 --> 00:51:43,400 (clattering) 1249 00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:45,400 - Can I have the check? 1250 00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:46,733 Sorry about the toothpicks. 1251 00:51:46,733 --> 00:51:48,233 - 82, 82, 1252 00:51:48,233 --> 00:51:49,233 82. 1253 00:51:49,233 --> 00:51:50,600 It's a lot more than 1254 00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:51,600 82 toothpicks, Ray. 1255 00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:53,000 But... 1256 00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:55,166 246 total. - Change. 1257 00:51:55,166 --> 00:51:56,933 (clicks tongue) 1258 00:51:56,933 --> 00:51:58,300 How many toothpicks are there? 1259 00:51:58,300 --> 00:51:59,500 - Um... 250. 1260 00:51:59,500 --> 00:52:00,800 - Pretty close. 1261 00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:02,200 Come on, let's go, Ray. 1262 00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:04,300 - 246. 1263 00:52:05,633 --> 00:52:07,200 - There's four left in the box. 1264 00:52:08,700 --> 00:52:10,133 - (distantly): I have to get my backpack... 1265 00:52:10,133 --> 00:52:12,333 When I saw that movie, I thought, "Gosh, 1266 00:52:12,333 --> 00:52:15,033 that's Donald Gray, up one side and down the other." 1267 00:52:15,033 --> 00:52:18,466 CAREN: You know, the first time I saw the movie "Rain Man," 1268 00:52:18,466 --> 00:52:20,533 Mickey hadn't even been born. 1269 00:52:20,533 --> 00:52:23,833 I didn't know anything about autism. 1270 00:52:23,833 --> 00:52:25,800 I just knew that this film was a stunning look 1271 00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,200 inside the mind of someone with autism. 1272 00:52:30,533 --> 00:52:32,200 I had no idea that portrayal 1273 00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:35,700 would lead to misconceptions about autistic people, 1274 00:52:35,700 --> 00:52:38,500 especially that toothpick scene. 1275 00:52:38,500 --> 00:52:40,566 What happens in that scene 1276 00:52:40,566 --> 00:52:42,900 is not typical of most people with autism, 1277 00:52:42,900 --> 00:52:45,966 but because there were no other characters 1278 00:52:45,966 --> 00:52:47,033 portrayed by Hollywood 1279 00:52:47,033 --> 00:52:49,100 or television around that time, 1280 00:52:49,100 --> 00:52:51,433 other than Raymond and his toothpick counting, 1281 00:52:51,433 --> 00:52:53,166 that's what a lot of people assumed 1282 00:52:53,166 --> 00:52:54,800 autism looked like in everybody. 1283 00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:55,966 Of course I'm an excellent driver. 1284 00:52:55,966 --> 00:52:57,533 JOHN (voiceover): And also that 1285 00:52:57,533 --> 00:52:59,266 people with autism, like Raymond in the movie, 1286 00:52:59,266 --> 00:53:02,100 were not capable of living independent lives. 1287 00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:05,733 But that's no longer the way autism is seen today, 1288 00:53:05,733 --> 00:53:09,066 because the definition has changed 1289 00:53:09,066 --> 00:53:10,133 so much since then. 1290 00:53:10,133 --> 00:53:12,033 It's become broader, 1291 00:53:12,033 --> 00:53:14,766 and we have the autism spectrum. 1292 00:53:14,766 --> 00:53:16,066 We have a lot of people getting diagnosed today 1293 00:53:16,066 --> 00:53:17,866 who would not have in the past, 1294 00:53:17,866 --> 00:53:21,833 and that includes people who are getting diagnosed as adults. 1295 00:53:21,833 --> 00:53:23,866 ROBISON: I was 40 1296 00:53:23,866 --> 00:53:28,800 when I learned about this autism thing. 1297 00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:31,200 And at first I was shocked, 1298 00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:33,400 because I-- all I knew of autistic people was 1299 00:53:33,400 --> 00:53:34,733 they, they didn't talk. 1300 00:53:34,733 --> 00:53:36,600 CAREN: I've known John Robison 1301 00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:37,666 for a really long time, 1302 00:53:37,666 --> 00:53:39,066 and we're friends. 1303 00:53:39,066 --> 00:53:41,900 And I remember one of the first things he ever told me 1304 00:53:41,900 --> 00:53:46,566 was this amazing story about his experiences 1305 00:53:46,566 --> 00:53:50,866 working with bands like Pink Floyd and Kiss. 1306 00:53:50,866 --> 00:53:52,500 ROBISON: One of the things that I'm very proud of 1307 00:53:52,500 --> 00:53:55,233 is the equipment that I made, it did its job. 1308 00:53:55,233 --> 00:53:57,200 It worked. 1309 00:53:57,200 --> 00:54:00,900 It, it played music, it exploded, it lit up. 1310 00:54:00,900 --> 00:54:06,133 (electric guitar blaring) 1311 00:54:08,500 --> 00:54:12,133 The musicians were always welcoming to me. 1312 00:54:12,133 --> 00:54:14,533 For a person, you know, 1313 00:54:14,533 --> 00:54:16,633 who'd been rejected all his life, 1314 00:54:16,633 --> 00:54:19,766 people calling me names and stuff, 1315 00:54:19,766 --> 00:54:22,200 nobody ever called me names 1316 00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:25,300 except in a complimentary way in music. 1317 00:54:25,300 --> 00:54:28,000 I mean they might have said, "Wow," you know, "Ampie," 1318 00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:29,000 because they called me Ampie, 1319 00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:31,133 because I made the amplifiers. 1320 00:54:31,133 --> 00:54:32,400 You know, and Ampie, they might say, you know, 1321 00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:34,600 "He's crazy," or "He's like a real freak," 1322 00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:36,000 but he was like a brilliant freak. 1323 00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,500 ♪ ♪ 1324 00:54:38,500 --> 00:54:43,666 I have many gifts, I suppose, as a result of being different. 1325 00:54:43,666 --> 00:54:45,933 But I also have disabilities. 1326 00:54:45,933 --> 00:54:47,966 I wasn't very good, 1327 00:54:47,966 --> 00:54:49,200 and I'm still not very good, 1328 00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:51,133 at reading emotional cues. 1329 00:54:51,133 --> 00:54:54,366 A lot of times I would... 1330 00:54:54,366 --> 00:54:55,733 say a wrong thing, 1331 00:54:55,733 --> 00:54:58,633 and I would have no clue what I did wrong. 1332 00:54:58,633 --> 00:55:02,633 I just thought that I was like a second-rate person. 1333 00:55:02,633 --> 00:55:04,033 But I have been 1334 00:55:04,033 --> 00:55:08,033 really lucky in my life, because... 1335 00:55:08,033 --> 00:55:12,666 first, when I was, you know, in my early 20s, 1336 00:55:12,666 --> 00:55:15,066 I was able to engineer 1337 00:55:15,066 --> 00:55:17,266 musical things 1338 00:55:17,266 --> 00:55:20,000 that would sing for the world. 1339 00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:23,700 So I didn't have to find a way into a conversation. 1340 00:55:23,700 --> 00:55:27,933 And I took up fixing cars, 1341 00:55:27,933 --> 00:55:30,733 and people would come to talk to me about the cars. 1342 00:55:30,733 --> 00:55:32,866 And then I began writing about autism, 1343 00:55:32,866 --> 00:55:34,766 and people talked to me about that. 1344 00:55:34,766 --> 00:55:37,200 But in every case, 1345 00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:40,000 the work that I created spoke for me. 1346 00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:43,966 And for me, that's how I have overcome 1347 00:55:43,966 --> 00:55:47,033 the disability of not being able 1348 00:55:47,033 --> 00:55:48,533 to figure out what to say. 1349 00:55:48,533 --> 00:55:53,033 I don't figure it out, other people say things to me. 1350 00:55:53,033 --> 00:55:54,666 (applause) 1351 00:55:54,666 --> 00:55:56,233 CAREN: John's lived an extraordinary life. 1352 00:55:56,233 --> 00:55:59,500 - Thank you all for joining me here today. 1353 00:55:59,500 --> 00:56:01,366 CAREN: He speaks all over the country. 1354 00:56:01,366 --> 00:56:02,833 His goal is to 1355 00:56:02,833 --> 00:56:04,666 inspire people with autism 1356 00:56:04,666 --> 00:56:07,166 to have pride in themselves, to see autism 1357 00:56:07,166 --> 00:56:09,000 as part of their identity. 1358 00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:10,866 - How we talk about neurodiversity. 1359 00:56:10,866 --> 00:56:12,600 It's us folks. 1360 00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:17,166 Neurodiversity is the idea that 1361 00:56:17,166 --> 00:56:21,333 some amount of neurological diversity 1362 00:56:21,333 --> 00:56:25,733 is a normal, healthy part of humanity. 1363 00:56:25,733 --> 00:56:29,533 Neurodiversity is our word for what we are 1364 00:56:29,533 --> 00:56:32,966 and our word is not a word of disability. 1365 00:56:32,966 --> 00:56:36,000 Our word is a word of empowerment. 1366 00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:37,266 (cheers and applause) 1367 00:56:37,266 --> 00:56:39,066 CAREN: Today, 1368 00:56:39,066 --> 00:56:40,066 the dominant picture 1369 00:56:40,066 --> 00:56:42,000 the public gets of autism 1370 00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,566 is through characters like Max from "Parenthood." 1371 00:56:44,566 --> 00:56:46,900 - Some people say that having Asperger's 1372 00:56:46,900 --> 00:56:49,733 can sometimes be a bad thing, but I'm glad I have it, 1373 00:56:49,733 --> 00:56:51,766 because I think it's my greatest strength. 1374 00:56:51,766 --> 00:56:54,433 CAREN: Or "The Good Doctor"-- 1375 00:56:54,433 --> 00:56:56,133 a guy who has challenges, 1376 00:56:56,133 --> 00:56:58,533 but is also unbelievably brilliant. 1377 00:56:58,533 --> 00:56:59,900 - Check valve. 1378 00:56:59,900 --> 00:57:03,966 ♪ ♪ 1379 00:57:03,966 --> 00:57:07,000 CAREN: But there's a problem with this uplifting picture. 1380 00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:10,900 It's who tends to get left out of the story. 1381 00:57:10,900 --> 00:57:13,433 There are a whole lot of people like John Robison 1382 00:57:13,433 --> 00:57:17,366 who can speak for themselves, and that's fantastic, 1383 00:57:17,366 --> 00:57:19,033 but there's a whole lot of people 1384 00:57:19,033 --> 00:57:22,566 on the other end of the spectrum who can't. 1385 00:57:22,566 --> 00:57:24,800 It's the warm and fuzzy view of autism. 1386 00:57:24,800 --> 00:57:27,333 These are the stories that make people feel good. 1387 00:57:27,333 --> 00:57:29,500 (young Jonah crying) 1388 00:57:29,500 --> 00:57:30,800 WOMAN: Don't hit me! 1389 00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:33,566 I don't like it when you hit me. 1390 00:57:33,566 --> 00:57:34,933 AMY: No one wants to hear about 1391 00:57:34,933 --> 00:57:38,366 the autistic person that attacked his mother 1392 00:57:38,366 --> 00:57:41,066 or smashed his head against the floor. 1393 00:57:41,066 --> 00:57:43,966 Like that's a really disturbing story, 1394 00:57:43,966 --> 00:57:45,566 and no one wants to hear it. 1395 00:57:45,566 --> 00:57:47,800 (young Jonah crying) 1396 00:57:47,800 --> 00:57:49,133 - Don't hit me! I don't like... 1397 00:57:49,133 --> 00:57:50,266 AMY: When I look back on 1398 00:57:50,266 --> 00:57:51,733 those years that Jonah was aggressive, 1399 00:57:51,733 --> 00:57:53,333 I don't know how he got through it. 1400 00:57:53,333 --> 00:57:55,800 These rages would come over him, 1401 00:57:55,800 --> 00:57:57,966 multiple times a day often. 1402 00:57:57,966 --> 00:57:59,933 And I mean, they never lasted very long, 1403 00:57:59,933 --> 00:58:03,700 but, you know, 15 minutes of your kid, um, you know, 1404 00:58:03,700 --> 00:58:07,300 trying to rip your hair out or bite you or kick you is... 1405 00:58:07,300 --> 00:58:09,433 is a long time when it's happening. 1406 00:58:09,433 --> 00:58:14,466 ♪ ♪ 1407 00:58:15,466 --> 00:58:17,033 CAREN: Amy Lutz has been 1408 00:58:17,033 --> 00:58:20,700 raising a son with autism for almost as long as I have. 1409 00:58:22,066 --> 00:58:24,100 But they're profoundly different young men. 1410 00:58:24,100 --> 00:58:27,800 ♪ ♪ 1411 00:58:27,800 --> 00:58:31,366 AMY: Jonah loves to spin. 1412 00:58:31,366 --> 00:58:33,600 He turns on some "Sesame Street" music, 1413 00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:34,733 and he starts 1414 00:58:34,733 --> 00:58:36,966 flying around the room. 1415 00:58:36,966 --> 00:58:43,433 ♪ ♪ 1416 00:58:43,433 --> 00:58:47,300 He looks like Scott Hamilton on ice skates sometimes. 1417 00:58:48,933 --> 00:58:52,466 CAREN: Jonah has a family that completely 1418 00:58:52,466 --> 00:58:54,900 loves and supports him. 1419 00:58:54,900 --> 00:58:56,933 They really get him. 1420 00:58:56,933 --> 00:59:00,366 And they get that he has something to say, 1421 00:59:00,366 --> 00:59:02,966 like his "Sesame Street" drawings. 1422 00:59:02,966 --> 00:59:05,800 There's always a lot of... some movement in Jonah's art. 1423 00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:07,333 CAREN: When you put them together, 1424 00:59:07,333 --> 00:59:09,533 you can see that he's creating this motion, 1425 00:59:10,533 --> 00:59:12,166 like a cartoon. 1426 00:59:12,166 --> 00:59:14,066 When he is through with his series, 1427 00:59:14,066 --> 00:59:15,466 he will crumple it up 1428 00:59:15,466 --> 00:59:18,200 and just throw it in the trash can. 1429 00:59:18,200 --> 00:59:21,166 Because art is all about process for Jonah, 1430 00:59:21,166 --> 00:59:23,300 not about product. 1431 00:59:23,300 --> 00:59:28,333 ♪ ♪ 1432 00:59:31,566 --> 00:59:33,100 AMY: You know, I can describe Jonah 1433 00:59:33,100 --> 00:59:35,500 and talk about his struggles 1434 00:59:35,500 --> 00:59:36,866 for the rest of my life, 1435 00:59:36,866 --> 00:59:38,666 and I'm sure I will be doing that. 1436 00:59:38,666 --> 00:59:40,433 All right, Jonah, number two is? 1437 00:59:40,433 --> 00:59:41,900 - Walk. 1438 00:59:41,900 --> 00:59:43,833 - Can I help you with your socks? 1439 00:59:43,833 --> 00:59:47,000 (voiceover): I don't believe that Jonah has a real conception 1440 00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:49,633 of what it would mean to leave home, 1441 00:59:49,633 --> 00:59:53,233 and what it means to have a job, and... 1442 00:59:53,233 --> 00:59:55,266 You know, these are really abstract concepts, 1443 00:59:55,266 --> 00:59:58,700 and Jonah does not have abstract concepts. 1444 00:59:58,700 --> 00:59:59,933 I'll do the socks, you do the shoes. 1445 00:59:59,933 --> 01:00:02,033 (voiceover): He has no safety awareness. 1446 01:00:02,033 --> 01:00:03,500 And if you notice, we have these... 1447 01:00:03,500 --> 01:00:04,700 (buttons clicking) 1448 01:00:04,700 --> 01:00:06,766 ...code locks on all our exterior doors, 1449 01:00:06,766 --> 01:00:11,033 that we had to install to prevent Jonah from wandering. 1450 01:00:11,033 --> 01:00:12,933 (voiceover): When Jonah was younger, 1451 01:00:12,933 --> 01:00:15,333 he would find a way to slip out. 1452 01:00:15,333 --> 01:00:17,533 Some... you know, he'd get out the front door, 1453 01:00:17,533 --> 01:00:18,966 he dropped out of some windows. 1454 01:00:18,966 --> 01:00:23,466 And several times we found him walking down 1455 01:00:23,466 --> 01:00:27,633 this busy road on his iPad, you know, 1456 01:00:27,633 --> 01:00:29,766 with, you know, traffic stopped on either side, 1457 01:00:29,766 --> 01:00:31,800 while somebody tried to coax him out of the road, 1458 01:00:31,800 --> 01:00:34,133 and somebody else called the police. 1459 01:00:34,133 --> 01:00:36,433 Those of us who live with autism, 1460 01:00:36,433 --> 01:00:38,266 you know, in its more severe forms, 1461 01:00:38,266 --> 01:00:40,300 we don't think of it as a gift. 1462 01:00:40,300 --> 01:00:42,133 It's incredibly disabling. 1463 01:00:42,133 --> 01:00:44,366 (struggling) 1464 01:00:44,366 --> 01:00:45,700 MAN: You want some help? 1465 01:00:45,700 --> 01:00:47,500 - WOMAN: Up-up-up-up... 1466 01:00:47,500 --> 01:00:49,100 AMY: I've seen kids who 1467 01:00:49,100 --> 01:00:51,533 have to wear helmets and arm stays, 1468 01:00:51,533 --> 01:00:53,366 to keep them from bending their arms, 1469 01:00:53,366 --> 01:00:55,266 because as soon as you release them, 1470 01:00:55,266 --> 01:00:57,100 they punch themselves in the face, 1471 01:00:57,100 --> 01:00:58,633 hundreds of times an hour, 1472 01:00:58,633 --> 01:01:00,600 until they detach their own retinas. 1473 01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:02,800 You know, I've seen... 1474 01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:06,100 autistic teenagers that still have to wear diapers. 1475 01:01:06,100 --> 01:01:09,833 Kids that have no language at all. 1476 01:01:09,833 --> 01:01:11,200 And I think that's an 1477 01:01:11,200 --> 01:01:13,166 incredibly important distinction to make. 1478 01:01:13,166 --> 01:01:15,700 That when... when your neurodiversity 1479 01:01:15,700 --> 01:01:19,666 starts to really restrict your opportunities in the world, 1480 01:01:19,666 --> 01:01:22,433 that's not an identity, that is a pathology. 1481 01:01:22,433 --> 01:01:25,933 And if everybody could accept this idea, 1482 01:01:25,933 --> 01:01:27,900 that at some point 1483 01:01:27,900 --> 01:01:29,900 neurodiversity shades into pathology, 1484 01:01:29,900 --> 01:01:33,066 and we don't even have to have a huge argument 1485 01:01:33,066 --> 01:01:35,433 about where exactly that point is. 1486 01:01:35,433 --> 01:01:37,600 I think it's about how much it impacts 1487 01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:39,233 your functioning in the world. 1488 01:01:39,233 --> 01:01:40,700 (on-screen): Ready to get the princess some steak? 1489 01:01:40,700 --> 01:01:41,833 - (Jonah laughing) - What's that? 1490 01:01:41,833 --> 01:01:44,233 - Did you get the princess some steak? 1491 01:01:44,233 --> 01:01:46,733 (voiceover): I would love not to have to 1492 01:01:46,733 --> 01:01:49,466 talk about Jonah's previous aggression. 1493 01:01:49,466 --> 01:01:52,533 I would love not to have to talk about his, you know, 1494 01:01:52,533 --> 01:01:54,700 his cognitive impairments. 1495 01:01:54,700 --> 01:01:56,266 (on-screen): Oh, sorry, excuse us. 1496 01:01:56,266 --> 01:02:00,400 (voiceover): But I do that, because it's critical that those 1497 01:02:00,400 --> 01:02:04,166 with the most profound needs are central to any conversation 1498 01:02:04,166 --> 01:02:08,266 about policy, about stigma, 1499 01:02:08,266 --> 01:02:10,566 about autism writ large. 1500 01:02:10,566 --> 01:02:13,733 I think the spectrum is enormously broad. 1501 01:02:13,733 --> 01:02:16,300 And so everyone who can speak for themselves 1502 01:02:16,300 --> 01:02:18,133 should speak for themselves. 1503 01:02:18,133 --> 01:02:20,766 And if people think I'm somehow subverting 1504 01:02:20,766 --> 01:02:22,800 her thoughts or wishes or desires, 1505 01:02:22,800 --> 01:02:26,333 then I would just say I'm doing the best job that I can. 1506 01:02:26,333 --> 01:02:29,000 I would love that if Slade could speak for himself. 1507 01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:30,466 I hope he can. 1508 01:02:30,466 --> 01:02:34,633 But until he does, I am definitely his protector 1509 01:02:34,633 --> 01:02:37,600 and his facilitator, 1510 01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:40,700 to help him navigate life. 1511 01:02:40,700 --> 01:02:43,100 (Slade vocalizing) 1512 01:02:43,100 --> 01:02:46,233 I think autism now is a meaningless diagnosis, 1513 01:02:46,233 --> 01:02:49,966 simply because the range of people who... 1514 01:02:49,966 --> 01:02:51,366 (on-screen): Excuse us, sorry. 1515 01:02:51,366 --> 01:02:52,866 - Excuse us, excuse me. - Oh. 1516 01:02:52,866 --> 01:02:54,733 (voiceover): ...Who carry that diagnosis 1517 01:02:54,733 --> 01:02:57,100 is impossibly broad, to the point 1518 01:02:57,100 --> 01:02:59,066 that you don't know anything about a person 1519 01:02:59,066 --> 01:03:00,466 by hearing that that person's 1520 01:03:00,466 --> 01:03:01,500 been diagnosed with autism. 1521 01:03:01,500 --> 01:03:02,600 (on-screen): Over here. 1522 01:03:02,600 --> 01:03:04,833 Stay with Mommy and Daddy, please. 1523 01:03:04,833 --> 01:03:06,033 You know, researchers are starting to 1524 01:03:06,033 --> 01:03:07,533 talk about "The Autisms." 1525 01:03:07,533 --> 01:03:09,966 You know, that Jonah's autism 1526 01:03:09,966 --> 01:03:12,733 is not the same as John Robison's autism. 1527 01:03:12,733 --> 01:03:17,266 And that, it's not useful to think of them as the same. 1528 01:03:17,266 --> 01:03:19,000 You're heavy. 1529 01:03:20,866 --> 01:03:22,300 (doorbell chimes) 1530 01:03:22,300 --> 01:03:24,733 You know, we love this place, 1531 01:03:24,733 --> 01:03:25,966 because not only does Sarah 1532 01:03:25,966 --> 01:03:27,900 give Jonah a great haircut every time, 1533 01:03:27,900 --> 01:03:30,733 but they don't mind if he lies down on the floor 1534 01:03:30,733 --> 01:03:31,966 or if he starts spinning. 1535 01:03:31,966 --> 01:03:34,800 And they're totally cool with it. 1536 01:03:34,800 --> 01:03:36,033 They really welcome Jonah into their shop, 1537 01:03:36,033 --> 01:03:37,233 and we're so happy to 1538 01:03:37,233 --> 01:03:38,800 bring them our business. 1539 01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:40,166 CAREN: What did you think about 1540 01:03:40,166 --> 01:03:42,300 the people who were coming in for haircuts, 1541 01:03:42,300 --> 01:03:46,333 how they treated Jonah? - Ah. 1542 01:03:46,333 --> 01:03:48,133 I mean, that's kind of 1543 01:03:48,133 --> 01:03:49,966 what I'm seeing a lot now these days, 1544 01:03:49,966 --> 01:03:52,833 is that people are nice. 1545 01:03:52,833 --> 01:03:54,600 (on-screen): Excuse us, sorry. 1546 01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:56,500 No, go ahead. I'm sorry. 1547 01:03:56,500 --> 01:03:57,800 (voiceover): You know, 1548 01:03:57,800 --> 01:04:00,733 often people will stop and say he's great, or... 1549 01:04:00,733 --> 01:04:04,533 "I know someone with autism, is he autistic?" 1550 01:04:04,533 --> 01:04:07,066 They really accept him there, they welcome him there, 1551 01:04:07,066 --> 01:04:09,333 and it's why we keep going back. 1552 01:04:09,333 --> 01:04:10,600 Thank you! 1553 01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:13,533 ROB RESNIK: People might see the disability, 1554 01:04:13,533 --> 01:04:14,766 and when you're a parent 1555 01:04:14,766 --> 01:04:17,066 or when you're around them all the time, 1556 01:04:17,066 --> 01:04:18,566 you just see their personality. 1557 01:04:18,566 --> 01:04:22,133 And his is just so pleasant and sweet that, 1558 01:04:22,133 --> 01:04:23,466 you know, he's just a great guy. 1559 01:04:23,466 --> 01:04:24,866 - (humming) - He's a great worker. 1560 01:04:24,866 --> 01:04:27,400 He's great around the house. 1561 01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:29,100 And people may not see that, 1562 01:04:29,100 --> 01:04:31,966 and they may see our situation as difficult 1563 01:04:31,966 --> 01:04:34,533 if they really didn't know what he was like. 1564 01:04:34,533 --> 01:04:36,766 - (humming) 1565 01:04:36,766 --> 01:04:39,733 (chuckling): Like that. Good. 1566 01:04:39,733 --> 01:04:41,233 (laughs) 1567 01:04:41,233 --> 01:04:42,400 - (muffled speaking) 1568 01:04:42,400 --> 01:04:45,800 ♪ ♪ 1569 01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:47,133 You've been traveling a long time. 1570 01:04:47,133 --> 01:04:48,500 - Yep. 1571 01:04:48,500 --> 01:04:51,066 CAREN: So the first diagnosed child, 1572 01:04:51,066 --> 01:04:53,166 he's in his ninth decade of life now. 1573 01:04:53,166 --> 01:04:56,066 - November of 1989, that's... 1574 01:04:56,066 --> 01:04:59,100 when I went to Australia. 1575 01:04:59,100 --> 01:05:01,966 CAREN: And he's doing things that nobody 1576 01:05:01,966 --> 01:05:03,066 would have ever expected. 1577 01:05:03,066 --> 01:05:04,100 - So this is 30 years of travel 1578 01:05:04,100 --> 01:05:05,500 in these passports. 1579 01:05:05,500 --> 01:05:08,033 - Yeah, it sure is. - Yeah. 1580 01:05:08,033 --> 01:05:11,433 I get a picture from Germany or Iceland 1581 01:05:11,433 --> 01:05:12,833 or Florida, 1582 01:05:12,833 --> 01:05:14,966 (chuckling): Wherever he goes, you know. 1583 01:05:14,966 --> 01:05:16,433 And I often wonder, 1584 01:05:16,433 --> 01:05:18,933 how in the world does he make it alone? 1585 01:05:18,933 --> 01:05:21,033 You know, I don't like to travel alone. 1586 01:05:21,033 --> 01:05:22,133 (laughs) 1587 01:05:22,133 --> 01:05:23,866 He liked playing golf. 1588 01:05:23,866 --> 01:05:26,466 - Oh gosh! Yeah, he did. - And... 1589 01:05:26,466 --> 01:05:29,100 Snow on the ground, if it's hailing, 1590 01:05:29,100 --> 01:05:32,466 he's out there on the golf course. 1591 01:05:32,466 --> 01:05:35,800 Don has a really unique... 1592 01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:37,133 waggle and swing, 1593 01:05:37,133 --> 01:05:38,533 and if you've ever watched him 1594 01:05:38,533 --> 01:05:41,333 go through the motions of that, 1595 01:05:41,333 --> 01:05:43,466 it's, it's difficult to 1596 01:05:43,466 --> 01:05:45,333 take your eyes away. 1597 01:05:45,333 --> 01:05:46,633 WOMAN: Great job. MAN: All right, right down-- 1598 01:05:46,633 --> 01:05:47,866 he's the only one to hit it down the middle. 1599 01:05:47,866 --> 01:05:48,933 (Donald chuckling) WOMAN: All right. 1600 01:05:48,933 --> 01:05:50,200 MAN: Good shot, D.T. 1601 01:05:50,200 --> 01:05:51,666 CAREN: You know, I think back to 1602 01:05:51,666 --> 01:05:53,933 this little boy who was put in an institution 1603 01:05:53,933 --> 01:05:56,100 in the 1930s... 1604 01:05:56,100 --> 01:05:58,433 (group exclaiming) 1605 01:05:58,433 --> 01:06:00,666 CAREN: He's just come so far. 1606 01:06:00,666 --> 01:06:02,000 (indistinct chatter) 1607 01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:03,766 And he really has it all. 1608 01:06:04,833 --> 01:06:07,200 But Donald is sort of an outlier. 1609 01:06:07,200 --> 01:06:08,633 DONALD: Oh, thank you. 1610 01:06:08,633 --> 01:06:11,600 SID: Obviously, the whole discussion 1611 01:06:11,600 --> 01:06:13,333 begs the question of, 1612 01:06:13,333 --> 01:06:14,566 if there had not been 1613 01:06:14,566 --> 01:06:17,633 the respect for 1614 01:06:17,633 --> 01:06:20,233 Mr. Beamon Triplett that the community had, 1615 01:06:20,233 --> 01:06:23,733 if there had not been the network of support, 1616 01:06:23,733 --> 01:06:25,666 all of those things, 1617 01:06:25,666 --> 01:06:28,533 would Don's life have turned out the same way? 1618 01:06:30,066 --> 01:06:32,266 JOHN: So there's another important factor 1619 01:06:32,266 --> 01:06:34,400 about the environment that Donald grew up in. 1620 01:06:34,400 --> 01:06:38,200 He was a white child raised in the Jim Crow South. 1621 01:06:38,200 --> 01:06:39,566 And Forest was a segregated community. 1622 01:06:39,566 --> 01:06:41,033 Separate facilities and all that. 1623 01:06:42,066 --> 01:06:44,100 Of course, a lot has changed since then, 1624 01:06:44,100 --> 01:06:45,500 but there's no doubt that 1625 01:06:45,500 --> 01:06:46,600 a child who was Black 1626 01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:48,166 growing up when Donald was a kid 1627 01:06:48,166 --> 01:06:49,933 would have had nothing like his advantages, 1628 01:06:49,933 --> 01:06:51,900 even to getting diagnosed. 1629 01:06:51,900 --> 01:06:54,766 And it's not just the South. 1630 01:06:54,766 --> 01:06:56,233 For Black children, getting diagnosed with autism 1631 01:06:56,233 --> 01:06:57,533 has always been a challenge. 1632 01:06:57,533 --> 01:06:59,400 When Caren and I started looking at 1633 01:06:59,400 --> 01:07:01,266 old documentaries about autism, 1634 01:07:01,266 --> 01:07:02,600 we noticed that almost all of the kids 1635 01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:04,966 were white, and that's partly because 1636 01:07:04,966 --> 01:07:07,133 for a long time, psychiatry believed 1637 01:07:07,133 --> 01:07:09,333 that autistic children were only 1638 01:07:09,333 --> 01:07:11,533 born to parents who were highly educated 1639 01:07:11,533 --> 01:07:12,966 and highly intelligent. 1640 01:07:12,966 --> 01:07:14,400 MOVIE NARRATOR: His father is a specialist 1641 01:07:14,400 --> 01:07:16,600 in nuclear power plants. 1642 01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:17,700 JOHN: And the categories of highly intelligent 1643 01:07:17,700 --> 01:07:19,500 and highly professional, 1644 01:07:19,500 --> 01:07:20,733 because of racist attitudes, 1645 01:07:20,733 --> 01:07:23,666 were seen to rule out Black families. 1646 01:07:24,633 --> 01:07:26,266 MOVIE NARRATOR: His father is a college graduate 1647 01:07:26,266 --> 01:07:27,966 and a self-employed businessman. 1648 01:07:27,966 --> 01:07:30,233 JOHN: So for autistic children 1649 01:07:30,233 --> 01:07:31,633 who were Black, 1650 01:07:31,633 --> 01:07:33,666 getting an autism diagnosis, 1651 01:07:33,666 --> 01:07:35,866 was much more challenging than for white kids. 1652 01:07:35,866 --> 01:07:37,366 And, in fact, it still is. 1653 01:07:37,366 --> 01:07:39,066 STEPHANIE PARKS: For me it looks a little dead obvious, 1654 01:07:39,066 --> 01:07:41,966 like, well, of course a Black child couldn't have it 1655 01:07:41,966 --> 01:07:45,733 because our ideas tied to autism are always, 1656 01:07:45,733 --> 01:07:48,666 "Oh the savant, the genius, the card-counter." 1657 01:07:48,666 --> 01:07:53,500 And when, in the United States, we... 1658 01:07:53,500 --> 01:07:56,700 you know, really stereotype Black people as 1659 01:07:56,700 --> 01:08:00,800 being less than, less intelligent, less capable. 1660 01:08:00,800 --> 01:08:04,600 If you have a diagnosis that surrounds intelligence 1661 01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:07,066 and high intelligence, right, 1662 01:08:07,066 --> 01:08:10,166 of course, our children are precluded from the diagnosis. 1663 01:08:10,166 --> 01:08:12,200 That's pretty obvious. 1664 01:08:12,200 --> 01:08:15,133 Come on, you wanna make this light or no? 1665 01:08:15,133 --> 01:08:16,500 Go, go, go, come on, come on. 1666 01:08:16,500 --> 01:08:17,766 - Come on, come on. 1667 01:08:17,766 --> 01:08:19,433 Come on, come on, come on... - Go, go, go. 1668 01:08:19,433 --> 01:08:20,633 (voiceover): My academic work 1669 01:08:20,633 --> 01:08:22,000 stems directly from my own experience 1670 01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:24,666 being a mother of a child with autism. 1671 01:08:24,666 --> 01:08:26,000 I used to sit 1672 01:08:26,000 --> 01:08:30,633 in our clinic during my son's therapies, 1673 01:08:30,633 --> 01:08:32,233 and wonder why we were one 1674 01:08:32,233 --> 01:08:36,066 of the only Black families there. 1675 01:08:36,066 --> 01:08:38,533 And that started a question 1676 01:08:38,533 --> 01:08:41,733 that necessitated answers for me, 1677 01:08:41,733 --> 01:08:45,033 and that meant taking my degree all the way to UCLA 1678 01:08:45,033 --> 01:08:48,533 to get a PhD, to answer it. 1679 01:08:48,533 --> 01:08:52,266 He was happy in my stomach, he was happy once he showed up. 1680 01:08:52,266 --> 01:08:54,666 He didn't cry when he was born, 1681 01:08:54,666 --> 01:08:56,600 he just snuggled right in 1682 01:08:56,600 --> 01:08:59,200 and got on with business. 1683 01:08:59,200 --> 01:09:00,433 And he smiled, 1684 01:09:00,433 --> 01:09:02,200 and he was the happiest, fattest, 1685 01:09:02,200 --> 01:09:04,400 most beautiful chocolate baby. 1686 01:09:04,400 --> 01:09:05,833 - Yeah. - Um... 1687 01:09:05,833 --> 01:09:06,900 - Peanut butter chocolate. 1688 01:09:06,900 --> 01:09:09,033 - Okay, listen. 1689 01:09:09,033 --> 01:09:10,833 There is Coke over there, 1690 01:09:10,833 --> 01:09:13,200 there's water bottles... 1691 01:09:13,200 --> 01:09:14,633 CAREN: I got to know Stephanie Parks 1692 01:09:14,633 --> 01:09:16,233 through her research. - Mom will help with Coke... 1693 01:09:16,233 --> 01:09:17,500 CAREN (voiceover): She's studying how 1694 01:09:17,500 --> 01:09:21,133 children of color are diagnosed with autism. 1695 01:09:21,133 --> 01:09:22,433 STEPHANIE: For families, 1696 01:09:22,433 --> 01:09:25,566 we find a lot-- especially Black families-- 1697 01:09:25,566 --> 01:09:27,833 a lot of our problem with autism 1698 01:09:27,833 --> 01:09:29,533 exists in the systems 1699 01:09:29,533 --> 01:09:31,366 and the people that we come up against. 1700 01:09:31,366 --> 01:09:34,366 - Dell Parks! Look who I found! 1701 01:09:34,366 --> 01:09:36,033 - Miss Laura! Go get her. 1702 01:09:36,033 --> 01:09:38,400 Miss Laura! 1703 01:09:38,400 --> 01:09:39,800 What's up! - Hey, high five. 1704 01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:41,100 How you doing? - Good. 1705 01:09:41,100 --> 01:09:42,133 STEPHANIE: I couldn't get access 1706 01:09:42,133 --> 01:09:43,200 to a diagnosis. 1707 01:09:43,200 --> 01:09:45,166 I knew to the core of my soul 1708 01:09:45,166 --> 01:09:46,233 that he had autism. 1709 01:09:46,233 --> 01:09:47,933 We had a three-year-old that 1710 01:09:47,933 --> 01:09:49,366 was still in diapers, 1711 01:09:49,366 --> 01:09:51,600 was completely un-potty trained, 1712 01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:55,200 completely nonverbal, tantruming for hours on end. 1713 01:09:55,200 --> 01:09:56,866 We had all kinds of markers. 1714 01:09:56,866 --> 01:10:01,700 He was lining up toys in absolute grids across our floor. 1715 01:10:01,700 --> 01:10:05,000 He was flapping, he was toe-walking. 1716 01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:08,366 I mean we had every red flag possible. 1717 01:10:08,366 --> 01:10:11,133 And we still couldn't manage to get a diagnosis. 1718 01:10:11,133 --> 01:10:13,533 We went to the pediatrician several times, 1719 01:10:13,533 --> 01:10:17,500 and we got the same type of response that most families get, 1720 01:10:17,500 --> 01:10:19,400 especially Black families, 1721 01:10:19,400 --> 01:10:22,533 which is our boys are... 1722 01:10:22,533 --> 01:10:23,733 "They're a little slow, 1723 01:10:23,733 --> 01:10:25,433 "he's slower than other kids maybe," 1724 01:10:25,433 --> 01:10:27,566 you know, "He'll catch up." 1725 01:10:27,566 --> 01:10:29,033 And actually the pediatrician 1726 01:10:29,033 --> 01:10:31,333 was my personal pediatrician when I was growing up. 1727 01:10:31,333 --> 01:10:32,766 I mean, 1728 01:10:32,766 --> 01:10:34,533 she's warm and lovely, and... 1729 01:10:34,533 --> 01:10:35,666 - Mm-hmm, yep. - All the things you would 1730 01:10:35,666 --> 01:10:36,833 want in a pediatrician. 1731 01:10:36,833 --> 01:10:39,800 - Yes. - Like really exceptional human. 1732 01:10:39,800 --> 01:10:42,066 That's just how baked-in 1733 01:10:42,066 --> 01:10:43,866 racism is into the system, 1734 01:10:43,866 --> 01:10:47,100 that it's uncontrollable, even from... 1735 01:10:47,100 --> 01:10:49,266 people that we really love and trust. 1736 01:10:49,266 --> 01:10:54,500 ♪ ♪ 1737 01:10:54,500 --> 01:10:57,733 VALERIE: This doesn't mean that there are fewer 1738 01:10:57,733 --> 01:11:00,600 African-American and Hispanic children with autism, 1739 01:11:00,600 --> 01:11:03,200 let alone adults. (chuckles) 1740 01:11:03,200 --> 01:11:07,366 But it does perhaps indicate 1741 01:11:07,366 --> 01:11:11,033 that there are large numbers of people in the population 1742 01:11:11,033 --> 01:11:15,266 who are being misdiagnosed with other conditions 1743 01:11:15,266 --> 01:11:18,666 or not diagnosed at all. 1744 01:11:18,666 --> 01:11:20,333 When I began my research, 1745 01:11:20,333 --> 01:11:24,433 I was thoroughly shocked by how racism worked 1746 01:11:24,433 --> 01:11:27,200 in clinical spaces. 1747 01:11:27,200 --> 01:11:29,900 - Making a pizza! - Yes! You got it! 1748 01:11:29,900 --> 01:11:31,666 STEPHANIE: I have spent time watching 1749 01:11:31,666 --> 01:11:34,166 clinicians diagnose kids with autism. 1750 01:11:34,166 --> 01:11:37,066 In one particular situation, 1751 01:11:37,066 --> 01:11:41,866 I was watching a clinic in a major metropolitan area. 1752 01:11:41,866 --> 01:11:44,333 And one of the Black parents 1753 01:11:44,333 --> 01:11:46,866 was asked about disciplinary practices. 1754 01:11:46,866 --> 01:11:48,733 And to which she used the word "whuppin'." 1755 01:11:48,733 --> 01:11:51,500 She explained to the clinician 1756 01:11:51,500 --> 01:11:54,166 how her child was doing things that had scared her, 1757 01:11:54,166 --> 01:11:57,466 like climbing into high places and running off, 1758 01:11:57,466 --> 01:11:59,566 and like if he did that, he would get a whuppin' 1759 01:11:59,566 --> 01:12:03,100 so he would understand not to do them again. 1760 01:12:03,100 --> 01:12:05,833 And the clinicians became very concerned, 1761 01:12:05,833 --> 01:12:09,233 and they wanted to call Child Protective Services. 1762 01:12:09,233 --> 01:12:12,400 But the next appointment, 1763 01:12:12,400 --> 01:12:14,800 we had a white family come in, 1764 01:12:14,800 --> 01:12:17,233 and the child expressed having been hit by their parents 1765 01:12:17,233 --> 01:12:19,733 in response to being naughty. 1766 01:12:19,733 --> 01:12:23,933 And the clinicians didn't have 1767 01:12:23,933 --> 01:12:26,400 the same response to the mother in that situation. 1768 01:12:26,400 --> 01:12:28,033 In the situation of the white family, 1769 01:12:28,033 --> 01:12:31,233 the clinicians framed her as being emotionally unavailable 1770 01:12:31,233 --> 01:12:35,033 and needed help with resources, such as respite care, 1771 01:12:35,033 --> 01:12:36,900 you know, somebody to come in and give her a break 1772 01:12:36,900 --> 01:12:39,366 and take care of the child while mom caught a break 1773 01:12:39,366 --> 01:12:40,700 and refreshed herself. 1774 01:12:40,700 --> 01:12:43,633 And white clinicians looking at a Black mother 1775 01:12:43,633 --> 01:12:45,133 using the word "whuppin'" 1776 01:12:45,133 --> 01:12:48,133 necessitates a call to Child Protective Services, 1777 01:12:48,133 --> 01:12:51,200 but a white child expressing having been spanked does not. 1778 01:12:52,200 --> 01:12:56,266 The framework for doing the autism diagnostic test itself 1779 01:12:56,266 --> 01:12:58,700 is based on how white people 1780 01:12:58,700 --> 01:13:01,100 understand behavior and language. 1781 01:13:01,100 --> 01:13:02,900 And being self-reflexive, 1782 01:13:02,900 --> 01:13:06,900 I know the things that I'm saying are hard to hear, 1783 01:13:06,900 --> 01:13:09,466 they're hard to say, they're scary for me too. 1784 01:13:09,466 --> 01:13:12,166 I take my kid to these clinics. 1785 01:13:12,166 --> 01:13:16,466 And I genuinely appreciate, love, 1786 01:13:16,466 --> 01:13:18,800 and respect the clinicians. 1787 01:13:18,800 --> 01:13:21,400 But we have to be extremely careful, 1788 01:13:21,400 --> 01:13:25,466 because racism is so quiet, 1789 01:13:25,466 --> 01:13:28,300 and so insidious, 1790 01:13:28,300 --> 01:13:32,366 that we have to be capable of talking about that, 1791 01:13:32,366 --> 01:13:36,166 and being very, very real about the fact that it's happening 1792 01:13:36,166 --> 01:13:38,566 and we're having these ideas about people 1793 01:13:38,566 --> 01:13:40,000 who are not like us. 1794 01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:42,866 Whoa! 1795 01:13:42,866 --> 01:13:44,233 It's rough. JOHN: How vulnerable 1796 01:13:44,233 --> 01:13:45,400 is he out there in the world? 1797 01:13:45,400 --> 01:13:46,800 STEPHANIE: Incredibly. 1798 01:13:46,800 --> 01:13:48,633 WENDELL: In general, you know, 1799 01:13:48,633 --> 01:13:50,666 he still faces the same challenges 1800 01:13:50,666 --> 01:13:52,966 as any other Black male. 1801 01:13:53,933 --> 01:13:55,233 STEPHANIE: In my research study, 1802 01:13:55,233 --> 01:13:57,566 every Black family that I've met with 1803 01:13:57,566 --> 01:14:00,200 has asked a similar question: "How do we keep 1804 01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:01,366 "our children safe? 1805 01:14:01,366 --> 01:14:04,200 "How do we fix this situation 1806 01:14:04,200 --> 01:14:06,100 so that our children won't die?" 1807 01:14:07,233 --> 01:14:10,700 That is something really to think about, 1808 01:14:10,700 --> 01:14:13,900 is that Black parents of kids like Dell, 1809 01:14:13,900 --> 01:14:15,966 kids with autism, 1810 01:14:15,966 --> 01:14:18,833 we can do everything in the world. 1811 01:14:18,833 --> 01:14:20,500 We can do all the therapy, 1812 01:14:20,500 --> 01:14:22,766 we can have the most brilliant child, 1813 01:14:22,766 --> 01:14:25,800 we can do all the right things, 1814 01:14:25,800 --> 01:14:27,900 but I can't keep my son safe. 1815 01:14:27,900 --> 01:14:30,333 And that is, I think, one of the things 1816 01:14:30,333 --> 01:14:33,233 that just absolutely scares the hell out of us. 1817 01:14:36,933 --> 01:14:39,000 (phone dialing out) 1818 01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:40,066 CAREN (on phone): Hey, baby. 1819 01:14:40,066 --> 01:14:41,066 MICKEY (on phone): Hello, Mom. 1820 01:14:41,066 --> 01:14:42,066 CAREN: So, are you working? 1821 01:14:42,066 --> 01:14:43,566 Where are you working today? 1822 01:14:43,566 --> 01:14:45,266 MICKEY: I'm working at the senior center. 1823 01:14:45,266 --> 01:14:47,066 CAREN: Oh, cool. 1824 01:14:47,066 --> 01:14:50,000 - For those who are shy of being filmed, 1825 01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:53,033 you can just turn your faces away from the camera, 1826 01:14:53,033 --> 01:14:56,300 so that way you'll be participating. 1827 01:14:56,300 --> 01:14:58,600 CAREN: Mickey had this great job 1828 01:14:58,600 --> 01:15:00,266 volunteering at a senior center, 1829 01:15:00,266 --> 01:15:01,666 calling Bingo. 1830 01:15:01,666 --> 01:15:03,600 He's had a lot of jobs over the years, 1831 01:15:03,600 --> 01:15:06,066 both volunteer and even paid jobs, 1832 01:15:06,066 --> 01:15:08,566 but he really loved this one 1833 01:15:08,566 --> 01:15:11,433 because it kind of played to his strengths. 1834 01:15:11,433 --> 01:15:13,533 - B 14. 1835 01:15:13,533 --> 01:15:15,500 B catorce. 1836 01:15:15,500 --> 01:15:16,733 That's the letters 1837 01:15:16,733 --> 01:15:19,366 in Abner Doubleday's name, 14 letters. 1838 01:15:21,033 --> 01:15:26,066 O 65. O sesenta y cinco. 1839 01:15:26,066 --> 01:15:28,533 Five baker's dozens. 1840 01:15:29,700 --> 01:15:32,066 O 69. 1841 01:15:32,066 --> 01:15:33,566 O sesenta y nueve. 1842 01:15:33,566 --> 01:15:37,133 Kids, don't think of that number. 1843 01:15:37,133 --> 01:15:38,633 (laughter) 1844 01:15:39,600 --> 01:15:40,966 CAREN: But like many people with autism, 1845 01:15:40,966 --> 01:15:43,766 Mickey has a lot of sensory issues 1846 01:15:43,766 --> 01:15:47,200 that can really put him into emotional overload. 1847 01:15:47,200 --> 01:15:48,933 Crying is one of those things for him. 1848 01:15:48,933 --> 01:15:50,833 So when he was working at the senior center, 1849 01:15:50,833 --> 01:15:52,733 some of the older residents 1850 01:15:52,733 --> 01:15:54,933 with dementia would cry. 1851 01:15:54,933 --> 01:15:56,833 It completely derailed him. 1852 01:15:56,833 --> 01:15:58,800 WOMAN: This is Lila. 1853 01:15:58,800 --> 01:16:02,233 CAREN: So even a job that he really enjoyed, 1854 01:16:02,233 --> 01:16:03,666 he couldn't manage. 1855 01:16:03,666 --> 01:16:05,633 MICKEY: Here today, dead tomorrows. 1856 01:16:05,633 --> 01:16:09,166 CAREN: That's happened a bunch of times now. 1857 01:16:09,166 --> 01:16:10,266 So look at that programming block. 1858 01:16:10,266 --> 01:16:11,800 Yep, there you go. 1859 01:16:11,800 --> 01:16:13,500 - ... on the right one. - Yeah, there you go. 1860 01:16:13,500 --> 01:16:14,566 You got it. - Change. 1861 01:16:14,566 --> 01:16:15,700 - You got it. 1862 01:16:16,900 --> 01:16:18,800 CAREN: He's been successful in employment training programs, 1863 01:16:18,800 --> 01:16:21,266 and has the skills to do the work, 1864 01:16:21,266 --> 01:16:24,133 but he still really struggles with so many intangibles. 1865 01:16:24,133 --> 01:16:26,166 MICKEY: Got it. 1866 01:16:26,166 --> 01:16:27,266 PETE: I tend to think 1867 01:16:27,266 --> 01:16:29,533 employment is more than about... 1868 01:16:29,533 --> 01:16:31,033 what you actually do 1869 01:16:31,033 --> 01:16:32,800 as the production part of your job. 1870 01:16:32,800 --> 01:16:34,600 The following items: 1871 01:16:34,600 --> 01:16:36,633 color sensor, ultrasonic sensor... 1872 01:16:36,633 --> 01:16:37,700 PETE: Working as part of a team, 1873 01:16:37,700 --> 01:16:38,900 getting along with others, 1874 01:16:38,900 --> 01:16:40,366 like, using the bathroom there 1875 01:16:40,366 --> 01:16:41,600 and not making a mess, 1876 01:16:41,600 --> 01:16:42,733 like buying your lunch at the cafeteria, 1877 01:16:42,733 --> 01:16:43,833 not talking about things that people 1878 01:16:43,833 --> 01:16:44,866 don't want to talk about. 1879 01:16:44,866 --> 01:16:46,300 - I like Pokémon. - You do? 1880 01:16:46,300 --> 01:16:48,633 PETE: Those are what make or break 1881 01:16:48,633 --> 01:16:50,066 a job. 1882 01:16:50,066 --> 01:16:51,966 CAREN: This isn't just a Mickey thing. 1883 01:16:52,933 --> 01:16:56,033 It's a lot of really capable people 1884 01:16:56,033 --> 01:16:58,600 who are being overlooked. 1885 01:16:58,600 --> 01:17:00,400 I think the challenge are all those soft skills 1886 01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:04,166 that go around employment. 1887 01:17:04,166 --> 01:17:06,833 And those are all sort of bidirectional skills, 1888 01:17:06,833 --> 01:17:08,666 so that's why I always say, 1889 01:17:08,666 --> 01:17:11,366 it's almost always the, the other end of the equation, 1890 01:17:11,366 --> 01:17:12,466 the typical people he works with, 1891 01:17:12,466 --> 01:17:14,066 that are gonna need as much training 1892 01:17:14,066 --> 01:17:15,166 as Mickey does. 1893 01:17:15,166 --> 01:17:16,700 COMPUTER: Error. (buzzing) 1894 01:17:16,700 --> 01:17:18,100 Error. (buzzing) 1895 01:17:18,100 --> 01:17:20,700 The last time I had like another traditional job 1896 01:17:20,700 --> 01:17:22,466 was this summer. 1897 01:17:22,466 --> 01:17:24,433 I worked at an autism school, 1898 01:17:24,433 --> 01:17:26,533 watching autistic kids. 1899 01:17:26,533 --> 01:17:28,833 But, like, I didn't engage with the kids very well. 1900 01:17:28,833 --> 01:17:32,666 And I needed, like, really frequent breaks 1901 01:17:32,666 --> 01:17:34,900 because of, like, the sensory stuff. 1902 01:17:34,900 --> 01:17:37,300 And I would get overwhelmed, so... 1903 01:17:37,300 --> 01:17:39,633 Yeah, I got fired. (chuckles) 1904 01:17:39,633 --> 01:17:41,500 I've gotten fired a lot. 1905 01:17:41,500 --> 01:17:42,700 Yeah, so. 1906 01:17:42,700 --> 01:17:45,866 ♪ ♪ 1907 01:17:47,233 --> 01:17:48,466 CAREN: Donald had a job. 1908 01:17:48,466 --> 01:17:50,400 He had a job for life. 1909 01:17:50,400 --> 01:17:52,166 See you Monday, Gail. 1910 01:17:52,166 --> 01:17:54,100 CAREN: That bank he visits every afternoon? 1911 01:17:54,100 --> 01:17:55,900 - See you Monday, Jessica. 1912 01:17:55,900 --> 01:17:57,166 CAREN: He worked there. - J.P. 1913 01:17:57,166 --> 01:17:58,433 CAREN: And it was like 1914 01:17:58,433 --> 01:17:59,733 a second home to him. 1915 01:17:59,733 --> 01:18:01,066 - All right, Jennester. 1916 01:18:01,066 --> 01:18:02,466 - See you later, darling. - All right. 1917 01:18:02,466 --> 01:18:03,966 CAREN: It's a place where 1918 01:18:03,966 --> 01:18:07,233 a whole new generation of people got connected to him. 1919 01:18:07,233 --> 01:18:08,733 - See you later, big Debbie. 1920 01:18:08,733 --> 01:18:10,066 ♪ ♪ 1921 01:18:10,066 --> 01:18:12,733 WOMAN: He was a teller, in his early years. 1922 01:18:12,733 --> 01:18:14,400 And then he worked in bookkeeping, 1923 01:18:14,400 --> 01:18:15,833 he would stuff statements. 1924 01:18:16,866 --> 01:18:18,333 CAREN: The fact is that 1925 01:18:18,333 --> 01:18:20,766 Donald's family owned the bank, 1926 01:18:20,766 --> 01:18:22,800 and that made a huge difference. 1927 01:18:22,800 --> 01:18:24,800 It meant everyone was committed 1928 01:18:24,800 --> 01:18:25,966 to his success, 1929 01:18:25,966 --> 01:18:27,233 and whenever a new manager came in, 1930 01:18:27,233 --> 01:18:29,266 a member of the family would ensure that. 1931 01:18:29,266 --> 01:18:30,600 GENE WALKER: Bill McCravey, 1932 01:18:30,600 --> 01:18:32,866 who would have been Don's uncle. 1933 01:18:32,866 --> 01:18:35,800 That would be Don's mother's brother. 1934 01:18:35,800 --> 01:18:40,666 Early on, he kind of explained Don's situation, 1935 01:18:40,666 --> 01:18:42,566 and he made the statement to me, 1936 01:18:42,566 --> 01:18:45,600 "Gene, I always will appreciate you 1937 01:18:45,600 --> 01:18:48,166 if you'll have a place for Don." 1938 01:18:48,166 --> 01:18:51,666 And, you know, I always did. 1939 01:18:51,666 --> 01:18:54,666 He was given the opportunity to make mistakes, 1940 01:18:54,666 --> 01:18:58,233 and then try something else until there was the right fit. 1941 01:18:58,233 --> 01:19:01,700 And, in society, you don't get to do that. 1942 01:19:01,700 --> 01:19:05,533 So Donald was afforded the chance to be successful, 1943 01:19:05,533 --> 01:19:07,733 and he was successful. 1944 01:19:07,733 --> 01:19:09,333 ♪ ♪ 1945 01:19:09,333 --> 01:19:10,633 And that would be 1946 01:19:10,633 --> 01:19:13,633 perfect for everyone on the spectrum, 1947 01:19:13,633 --> 01:19:16,333 but there just aren't enough situations like that. 1948 01:19:16,333 --> 01:19:19,400 At least not yet. 1949 01:19:19,400 --> 01:19:23,066 ♪ ♪ 1950 01:19:23,066 --> 01:19:26,066 I'm excited for Mom and Molly to come. 1951 01:19:26,066 --> 01:19:27,466 Where could they be? 1952 01:19:27,466 --> 01:19:29,166 Are they far or near? 1953 01:19:29,166 --> 01:19:30,333 That's them. 1954 01:19:30,333 --> 01:19:31,666 False alarm. 1955 01:19:33,500 --> 01:19:35,300 There they are. 1956 01:19:35,300 --> 01:19:37,600 And that's them! 1957 01:19:37,600 --> 01:19:40,400 Mom and Molly. 1958 01:19:40,400 --> 01:19:44,433 ♪ ♪ 1959 01:19:46,466 --> 01:19:49,866 MOLLY: Hi! - Hello, Mols. 1960 01:19:49,866 --> 01:19:51,066 - Hi! - Hello. 1961 01:19:51,066 --> 01:19:52,800 - How are you? - I'm fine. 1962 01:19:52,800 --> 01:19:55,066 - Hey Mickey! - Hello. 1963 01:19:55,066 --> 01:19:56,366 - Hi, honey. - Hello. 1964 01:19:56,366 --> 01:19:57,533 - How are you? 1965 01:19:57,533 --> 01:19:59,133 - Fine. - Mickey, you look... 1966 01:19:59,133 --> 01:20:01,166 What is that? Where's the beard? 1967 01:20:01,166 --> 01:20:04,233 - So-- so, maybe-- so I was trying to look forward 1968 01:20:04,233 --> 01:20:06,566 to go into Saheed's. - Okay. 1969 01:20:06,566 --> 01:20:09,333 - That's the name of the barber. - That's the barber. 1970 01:20:09,333 --> 01:20:10,933 CAREN: Who's graduating today? 1971 01:20:10,933 --> 01:20:12,700 MICKEY: I am. 1972 01:20:12,700 --> 01:20:14,466 - That's not right. 1973 01:20:15,466 --> 01:20:17,566 MOLLY: Sara or Zara? 1974 01:20:17,566 --> 01:20:19,066 - I'll surprise you. 1975 01:20:19,066 --> 01:20:20,466 - This is his new jacket that he bought. 1976 01:20:20,466 --> 01:20:22,966 - It looks like... - At least, it looks like one. 1977 01:20:22,966 --> 01:20:24,433 - Mickey, there's a hanger on it. 1978 01:20:24,433 --> 01:20:25,466 (laughing): Mickey! - Mickey! 1979 01:20:25,466 --> 01:20:27,633 (rustling, crinkling) 1980 01:20:27,633 --> 01:20:28,966 - Lolli, lollipop, 1981 01:20:28,966 --> 01:20:32,366 from Zara. - (chuckling) 1982 01:20:32,366 --> 01:20:34,300 I love this wrap. 1983 01:20:34,300 --> 01:20:35,400 I'm a cat. 1984 01:20:35,400 --> 01:20:36,700 Meow, check me-owt. I'm a cat. 1985 01:20:36,700 --> 01:20:38,033 Meow, check me-owt. 1986 01:20:39,000 --> 01:20:40,233 Just know that there's gonna be 1987 01:20:40,233 --> 01:20:41,766 a lot of people here, right? 1988 01:20:41,766 --> 01:20:43,133 CAREN: Mickey was taking life skill classes 1989 01:20:43,133 --> 01:20:45,033 at the local community college 1990 01:20:45,033 --> 01:20:46,200 with students from his First Place program. 1991 01:20:46,200 --> 01:20:47,500 MAN: Any other questions? 1992 01:20:47,500 --> 01:20:48,700 CAREN: And they were invited 1993 01:20:48,700 --> 01:20:50,366 to be part of the spring commencement. 1994 01:20:50,366 --> 01:20:52,200 WOMAN: Today is the big day, guys. 1995 01:20:52,200 --> 01:20:57,300 ("Pomp and Circumstance" playing) 1996 01:20:57,300 --> 01:20:58,800 ♪ ♪ 1997 01:20:58,800 --> 01:21:00,200 CAREN: We were really looking forward 1998 01:21:00,200 --> 01:21:02,733 to Mickey's graduation. 1999 01:21:02,733 --> 01:21:05,366 He really worked so hard to get there. 2000 01:21:05,366 --> 01:21:07,933 ♪ ♪ 2001 01:21:07,933 --> 01:21:09,833 I was so proud of him. 2002 01:21:09,833 --> 01:21:11,266 MICKEY: Too many people. 2003 01:21:13,666 --> 01:21:16,033 I felt a little bit overwhelmed. 2004 01:21:16,033 --> 01:21:18,766 When is it gonna end, this graduation ceremony? 2005 01:21:18,766 --> 01:21:21,800 CAREN: Graduation day was 2006 01:21:21,800 --> 01:21:24,033 incredibly painful for Mickey. 2007 01:21:24,033 --> 01:21:26,200 (applause, "Pomp and Circumstance" continues) 2008 01:21:26,200 --> 01:21:28,366 MAN: Michael Goodrich McGuinness. 2009 01:21:28,366 --> 01:21:32,633 (applause) 2010 01:21:32,633 --> 01:21:34,866 CAREN: You know, it was really hard 2011 01:21:34,866 --> 01:21:37,333 to watch him struggle so much. 2012 01:21:37,333 --> 01:21:40,300 MICKEY: I can't sit there anymore. 2013 01:21:41,400 --> 01:21:44,366 - What's wrong? - My head is hurting. 2014 01:21:44,366 --> 01:21:46,533 - Your head is hurting? - Yes. 2015 01:21:46,533 --> 01:21:48,133 - Can you just not sit there anymore? 2016 01:21:48,133 --> 01:21:49,500 - I can't sit there anymore. 2017 01:21:49,500 --> 01:21:52,900 - Well, it's almost over, right? - Yes, yes. 2018 01:21:52,900 --> 01:21:55,366 (applause) - You don't look very happy. 2019 01:21:55,366 --> 01:21:56,800 - Because I was-- I was overwhelmed. 2020 01:21:56,800 --> 01:21:58,700 - All right, but now you're okay? 2021 01:21:58,700 --> 01:21:59,933 - A little bit. 2022 01:21:59,933 --> 01:22:02,233 (loud cheering) 2023 01:22:02,233 --> 01:22:04,100 - So, see if you can stick it out, 2024 01:22:04,100 --> 01:22:05,333 because at the end you get to throw up your hat. 2025 01:22:05,333 --> 01:22:07,133 - Yeah. - Can you try? 2026 01:22:07,133 --> 01:22:08,400 - I don't know. (cheering) 2027 01:22:08,400 --> 01:22:09,400 - What? - I don't know. 2028 01:22:09,400 --> 01:22:10,500 - Try. 2029 01:22:10,500 --> 01:22:11,933 I'm here if you need me. - Okay. 2030 01:22:11,933 --> 01:22:14,100 ♪ ♪ 2031 01:22:14,100 --> 01:22:15,433 (applause) 2032 01:22:15,433 --> 01:22:16,833 MAN: Let me show you the program. 2033 01:22:17,866 --> 01:22:19,133 See where we're at? - Yes. 2034 01:22:19,133 --> 01:22:21,966 - We're right here. - That's all it gets. 2035 01:22:21,966 --> 01:22:23,700 I don't wanna wear a stupid gown anyways. 2036 01:22:23,700 --> 01:22:24,733 - MOLLY: Mickey, Mickey, come on. 2037 01:22:24,733 --> 01:22:26,000 It's almost time. 2038 01:22:26,000 --> 01:22:27,800 (cheers and applause) 2039 01:22:27,800 --> 01:22:30,100 - I'm choosing not to wear a stupid gown anyways. 2040 01:22:30,100 --> 01:22:31,333 (announcer speaking) 2041 01:22:31,333 --> 01:22:32,533 (cheers and applause) 2042 01:22:34,333 --> 01:22:36,033 - What don't you like about graduation? 2043 01:22:36,033 --> 01:22:39,233 - It's too long. - Too long, what else? 2044 01:22:39,233 --> 01:22:40,266 Maybe... 2045 01:22:40,266 --> 01:22:41,866 too what? Too many what? 2046 01:22:41,866 --> 01:22:43,233 - Too many people. - Too many people. 2047 01:22:43,233 --> 01:22:45,100 - So if I-- so if there's another graduation, 2048 01:22:45,100 --> 01:22:47,033 I won't attend it. - Yeah. 2049 01:22:47,033 --> 01:22:49,633 - I didn't want to wear a silly cap and gown. 2050 01:22:49,633 --> 01:22:51,633 - Well, I have a graduation in May. 2051 01:22:51,633 --> 01:22:53,033 Maybe you'll come or no? 2052 01:22:53,033 --> 01:22:55,033 - So maybe try not to. 2053 01:22:55,033 --> 01:22:56,700 - You'll try not to come, okay. - Yeah. 2054 01:22:56,700 --> 01:22:57,966 - That's okay with me. 2055 01:22:57,966 --> 01:22:59,633 Can I send you a picture of me in my cap and gown? 2056 01:22:59,633 --> 01:23:01,766 CAREN: You know, I really didn't know 2057 01:23:01,766 --> 01:23:04,333 what was the right thing to do. 2058 01:23:04,333 --> 01:23:05,933 I could have just let it go, 2059 01:23:05,933 --> 01:23:07,533 but I thought it was really important. 2060 01:23:07,533 --> 01:23:08,533 (on-screen): You did great. - Yes. 2061 01:23:08,533 --> 01:23:09,800 - You stuck it out. - Yes. 2062 01:23:09,800 --> 01:23:11,033 - Okay? - Yes. 2063 01:23:11,033 --> 01:23:12,166 - I'm proud of you. - Yes. 2064 01:23:12,166 --> 01:23:13,400 - All right? - Yes. 2065 01:23:13,400 --> 01:23:15,500 - I love you. - Love you. 2066 01:23:15,500 --> 01:23:17,266 CAREN: Like any other parent, 2067 01:23:17,266 --> 01:23:19,333 I wanted him to know that he could get through things 2068 01:23:19,333 --> 01:23:21,700 that are hard to get through. 2069 01:23:22,700 --> 01:23:24,300 But as Mickey always does, he teaches me 2070 01:23:24,300 --> 01:23:26,400 what's important to him. 2071 01:23:26,400 --> 01:23:28,333 (on-screen): What'd you do with your... 2072 01:23:28,333 --> 01:23:30,066 your gown? - I threw it out. 2073 01:23:30,066 --> 01:23:33,866 CAREN: And graduations just don't have meaning for him. 2074 01:23:33,866 --> 01:23:36,833 He doesn't need that external validation. 2075 01:23:36,833 --> 01:23:37,966 MICKEY: Let's get ice cream first. 2076 01:23:37,966 --> 01:23:39,600 CAREN: Okay, we'll get ice cream. 2077 01:23:39,600 --> 01:23:41,933 ♪ ♪ 2078 01:23:41,933 --> 01:23:43,366 MARTHA: Well, there we are, 2079 01:23:43,366 --> 01:23:46,333 seniors of '53. 2080 01:23:46,333 --> 01:23:48,100 JOBYNA: There you are. 2081 01:23:48,100 --> 01:23:51,500 This is Martha, that's me. 2082 01:23:51,500 --> 01:23:53,033 - Oh yeah, let's see. 2083 01:23:53,033 --> 01:23:55,400 "Don, you have much ability, 2084 01:23:55,400 --> 01:23:59,833 and in the past you have put it to good use." 2085 01:23:59,833 --> 01:24:02,900 Mine has like, "To a wonderful classmate, 2086 01:24:02,900 --> 01:24:05,333 all the luck in the world to you." 2087 01:24:05,333 --> 01:24:06,466 That's what I wrote. 2088 01:24:06,466 --> 01:24:08,666 But I can't read the rest of it... 2089 01:24:08,666 --> 01:24:10,133 - (laughs) - Because it's faded. 2090 01:24:10,133 --> 01:24:12,233 - Now that's Donald Gray. 2091 01:24:12,233 --> 01:24:13,900 I just love this-- 2092 01:24:13,900 --> 01:24:16,066 "I wish myself luck." 2093 01:24:16,066 --> 01:24:17,400 (laughs) - Yeah. 2094 01:24:17,400 --> 01:24:18,766 Isn't that good? 2095 01:24:18,766 --> 01:24:19,900 - That's what Don wrote to himself. 2096 01:24:19,900 --> 01:24:21,933 - "I wish myself..." 2097 01:24:21,933 --> 01:24:23,966 - "I wish myself luck. D.G." 2098 01:24:23,966 --> 01:24:26,266 - (laughing): I just adore that. 2099 01:24:26,266 --> 01:24:28,900 CAREN: Donald really did get lucky. 2100 01:24:28,900 --> 01:24:32,266 For a lot of people on the spectrum, 2101 01:24:32,266 --> 01:24:35,233 school is the most painful time for friendship. 2102 01:24:35,233 --> 01:24:37,333 I was just different, and... 2103 01:24:37,333 --> 01:24:39,766 they just didn't understand that. 2104 01:24:39,766 --> 01:24:41,466 I was beat up, 2105 01:24:41,466 --> 01:24:43,600 people said mean things to me. 2106 01:24:43,600 --> 01:24:45,900 I think that there is a specialness to 2107 01:24:45,900 --> 01:24:47,400 the bullying that children on 2108 01:24:47,400 --> 01:24:49,133 the autism spectrum experience, because we don't always 2109 01:24:49,133 --> 01:24:50,433 know that we're being bullied. 2110 01:24:51,466 --> 01:24:55,433 CAREN: Amy Gravino is this really cool person, 2111 01:24:55,433 --> 01:24:57,900 and she speaks honestly and openly 2112 01:24:57,900 --> 01:25:00,533 about her experience as a woman with autism. 2113 01:25:00,533 --> 01:25:02,000 And I decided that he was the one 2114 01:25:02,000 --> 01:25:03,500 I was gonna lose my virginity to... 2115 01:25:03,500 --> 01:25:05,166 CAREN: And she's known best for 2116 01:25:05,166 --> 01:25:07,233 her talks on sex and autism. 2117 01:25:07,233 --> 01:25:08,266 And I thought, well, you know, 2118 01:25:08,266 --> 01:25:09,633 when you stay in a hotel, 2119 01:25:09,633 --> 01:25:11,133 or you eat at a restaurant, sometimes they have 2120 01:25:11,133 --> 01:25:12,366 these cards you can fill out 2121 01:25:12,366 --> 01:25:14,633 to say what your experience was like... 2122 01:25:14,633 --> 01:25:16,333 CAREN: And she tells this one really funny story 2123 01:25:16,333 --> 01:25:20,233 about what she did the morning after she lost her virginity. 2124 01:25:20,233 --> 01:25:23,166 So I created a sexual intercourse comment card. 2125 01:25:23,166 --> 01:25:27,633 (group laughs) 2126 01:25:27,633 --> 01:25:29,233 And... 2127 01:25:29,233 --> 01:25:30,466 (laughter continues) 2128 01:25:30,466 --> 01:25:32,033 These were the questions on the back, 2129 01:25:32,033 --> 01:25:35,000 so it's a little hard to read all of them. 2130 01:25:35,000 --> 01:25:36,900 So, "What did you enjoy most about this sex session? 2131 01:25:36,900 --> 01:25:38,400 "What did you think could have been better? 2132 01:25:38,400 --> 01:25:40,033 "What happened that you would like to have happen again? 2133 01:25:40,033 --> 01:25:42,100 "Please rate the following from one to five: 2134 01:25:42,100 --> 01:25:43,700 the outfit I had on, my facial expression..." 2135 01:25:43,700 --> 01:25:44,833 (voiceover): If you were to 2136 01:25:44,833 --> 01:25:46,300 look at photographs of me growing up, 2137 01:25:46,300 --> 01:25:47,333 you would, for a while, 2138 01:25:47,333 --> 01:25:48,566 you'd see a very happy little girl. 2139 01:25:48,566 --> 01:25:49,833 You'd see a girl with 2140 01:25:49,833 --> 01:25:52,366 out of control curly hair, and then a girl 2141 01:25:52,366 --> 01:25:54,966 who gradually, by the time she was 2142 01:25:54,966 --> 01:25:57,366 around 12, 13, stopped smiling. 2143 01:25:57,366 --> 01:26:01,366 Even though I was diagnosed at the age of 11, 2144 01:26:01,366 --> 01:26:04,100 the word autism didn't really mean anything at that point. 2145 01:26:04,100 --> 01:26:06,766 I only knew that I was different and that different was bad. 2146 01:26:06,766 --> 01:26:09,266 That was the response that I received from my peers. 2147 01:26:09,266 --> 01:26:11,266 "You're weird, you're a freak, you're a retard, 2148 01:26:11,266 --> 01:26:13,733 you're a loser, you're ugly." 2149 01:26:13,733 --> 01:26:16,100 These were the things that I heard on a daily basis. 2150 01:26:16,100 --> 01:26:19,300 And what ended up happening was that the voices of my peers 2151 01:26:19,300 --> 01:26:21,033 became the voice in my own head. 2152 01:26:21,033 --> 01:26:23,033 But all of the-- all of my feelings 2153 01:26:23,033 --> 01:26:24,133 about myself at that point 2154 01:26:24,133 --> 01:26:25,466 were things that I didn't like. 2155 01:26:25,466 --> 01:26:27,400 I couldn't... 2156 01:26:27,400 --> 01:26:28,700 (sniffles) 2157 01:26:28,700 --> 01:26:31,033 I couldn't point out things that I did like. 2158 01:26:32,966 --> 01:26:35,600 And there wasn't a whole person there. 2159 01:26:35,600 --> 01:26:38,300 And... 2160 01:26:38,300 --> 01:26:39,533 And I wanted to die, 2161 01:26:39,533 --> 01:26:41,466 because I couldn't think of another way out. 2162 01:26:44,233 --> 01:26:46,600 My mother says that I came home from school one day, 2163 01:26:46,600 --> 01:26:47,833 took off my backpack, 2164 01:26:47,833 --> 01:26:49,900 and said, "I feel like killing myself." 2165 01:26:49,900 --> 01:26:54,933 ♪ ♪ 2166 01:26:57,533 --> 01:26:59,533 It was so bad that, you know, 2167 01:26:59,533 --> 01:27:01,200 I would come home from school every day crying. 2168 01:27:01,200 --> 01:27:03,633 Yeah, I mean, I kind of block it out. 2169 01:27:03,633 --> 01:27:05,000 ♪ ♪ 2170 01:27:05,000 --> 01:27:06,300 GRAVINO: I remember the people 2171 01:27:06,300 --> 01:27:07,600 who stood up for me. 2172 01:27:07,600 --> 01:27:10,000 (on-screen, laughing): Here, hey! Down here! 2173 01:27:10,000 --> 01:27:11,600 Stand up for someone who can't stand up for themselves. 2174 01:27:11,600 --> 01:27:13,700 You know, lift them, 2175 01:27:13,700 --> 01:27:15,366 instead of putting them under your foot. 2176 01:27:15,366 --> 01:27:17,966 So you may think that, like, what you're saying 2177 01:27:17,966 --> 01:27:20,333 may not make a difference, in... to this person, 2178 01:27:20,333 --> 01:27:22,366 but believe me it makes all the difference in the world, 2179 01:27:22,366 --> 01:27:24,066 and they will carry that with them 2180 01:27:24,066 --> 01:27:26,200 for the rest of their lives. 2181 01:27:26,200 --> 01:27:31,233 Hi guys, my name is Benny, and this is my friend Jensen. 2182 01:27:31,233 --> 01:27:34,866 So we will be doing a prank on Jensen today. 2183 01:27:34,866 --> 01:27:36,400 CAREN: Benny and Jensen 2184 01:27:36,400 --> 01:27:39,566 showed me an example of friendship the way it can be. 2185 01:27:39,566 --> 01:27:43,233 One of them is on the spectrum, the other isn't. 2186 01:27:43,233 --> 01:27:44,800 - Now you're stuck. 2187 01:27:44,800 --> 01:27:47,233 (both laughing) 2188 01:27:47,233 --> 01:27:49,700 - That's how you do the water bottle prank. 2189 01:27:49,700 --> 01:27:51,066 Let's do it again. (splashing) 2190 01:27:51,066 --> 01:27:52,300 Go. 2191 01:27:52,300 --> 01:27:55,266 DANNY: Benny and Jensen met 2192 01:27:55,266 --> 01:27:56,966 really early on in the pre-school. 2193 01:27:56,966 --> 01:28:00,866 - (laughing): Wow! Wow! 2194 01:28:00,866 --> 01:28:02,666 We don't separate kids with autism 2195 01:28:02,666 --> 01:28:04,400 from typically developing kids. 2196 01:28:04,400 --> 01:28:06,933 They're fully and intentionally integrated together. 2197 01:28:06,933 --> 01:28:07,966 (kids singing indistinctly) 2198 01:28:07,966 --> 01:28:09,700 Most bikes have one seat, 2199 01:28:09,700 --> 01:28:10,900 right? 2200 01:28:10,900 --> 01:28:12,133 But if you have a bike with two seats, 2201 01:28:12,133 --> 01:28:14,433 you actually create opportunities there, 2202 01:28:14,433 --> 01:28:15,666 to facilitate that interaction. 2203 01:28:15,666 --> 01:28:18,166 And that's not an accident, right? 2204 01:28:18,166 --> 01:28:20,366 Our lunch boxes are already put out on the table, 2205 01:28:20,366 --> 01:28:22,833 so kids find their lunchbox and sit down. 2206 01:28:22,833 --> 01:28:24,066 What that allows us to do 2207 01:28:24,066 --> 01:28:25,966 is make sure that every child with autism has 2208 01:28:25,966 --> 01:28:28,233 a typically developing child on each side of them. 2209 01:28:28,233 --> 01:28:30,233 Here comes Sam. 2210 01:28:30,233 --> 01:28:31,666 (voiceover): So it becomes more about 2211 01:28:31,666 --> 01:28:33,066 the activity 2212 01:28:33,066 --> 01:28:35,966 than it does about who does and doesn't have autism. 2213 01:28:35,966 --> 01:28:37,266 (kids playing) 2214 01:28:37,266 --> 01:28:39,833 We're not looking for typically developing kids 2215 01:28:39,833 --> 01:28:42,100 to charitably be nice to our kids. 2216 01:28:42,100 --> 01:28:43,266 We want them to see 2217 01:28:43,266 --> 01:28:44,933 the value that kids with autism 2218 01:28:44,933 --> 01:28:46,166 bring to the relationship. 2219 01:28:46,166 --> 01:28:48,000 And that's what's really special about 2220 01:28:48,000 --> 01:28:49,466 Benny and Jensen. 2221 01:28:49,466 --> 01:28:51,900 They've been graduated from our school for two years, 2222 01:28:51,900 --> 01:28:54,033 but have remained friends. 2223 01:28:54,033 --> 01:28:55,700 Benny's mom found 2224 01:28:55,700 --> 01:28:57,800 this letter in her son's backpack 2225 01:28:57,800 --> 01:29:00,366 and came in and shared it with me. 2226 01:29:00,366 --> 01:29:02,500 And it's kind of an "I'm thankful" letter. 2227 01:29:02,500 --> 01:29:03,933 So it says, "Dear blank," 2228 01:29:03,933 --> 01:29:07,033 and he fills in Jensen, so "Dear Jensen." 2229 01:29:07,033 --> 01:29:09,800 And it says, "I am thankful for you because 2230 01:29:09,800 --> 01:29:10,900 when I was feeling..." 2231 01:29:10,900 --> 01:29:12,766 and he filled in the word "scared," 2232 01:29:12,766 --> 01:29:16,066 "You made me feel unscared 2233 01:29:16,066 --> 01:29:19,766 "by playing with me at your birthday. 2234 01:29:19,766 --> 01:29:22,266 "Thank you for always being my best friend 2235 01:29:22,266 --> 01:29:24,433 "forever and ever and ever. 2236 01:29:24,433 --> 01:29:26,100 From, your friend Benny." 2237 01:29:26,100 --> 01:29:27,633 And what's so cool about that 2238 01:29:27,633 --> 01:29:30,333 is you'd almost think this is the kind of letter 2239 01:29:30,333 --> 01:29:31,933 coming from the kid with autism 2240 01:29:31,933 --> 01:29:33,966 to the typically developing kid. 2241 01:29:33,966 --> 01:29:36,133 But this letter is coming from the typically developing kid 2242 01:29:36,133 --> 01:29:37,633 to the child with autism. 2243 01:29:37,633 --> 01:29:41,100 And it's been a really impactful relationship for both boys. 2244 01:29:41,100 --> 01:29:44,100 Those skills are there for both of them, 2245 01:29:44,100 --> 01:29:45,600 and once the skills are there, 2246 01:29:45,600 --> 01:29:46,933 and they keep interacting with autism 2247 01:29:46,933 --> 01:29:48,100 over the course of their life, 2248 01:29:48,100 --> 01:29:50,600 I think they become the ambassadors 2249 01:29:50,600 --> 01:29:53,366 that we want to help build a very supportive community 2250 01:29:53,366 --> 01:29:56,266 for people with autism. - Thanks for sharing! 2251 01:29:56,266 --> 01:29:58,433 - See you all tonight maybe. 2252 01:29:58,433 --> 01:29:59,933 - All right. Have a good afternoon. 2253 01:29:59,933 --> 01:30:01,133 - All right. 2254 01:30:01,133 --> 01:30:03,866 DANNY: You know, even to go back to Donald, 2255 01:30:03,866 --> 01:30:04,900 they practice interacting with Donald 2256 01:30:04,900 --> 01:30:07,266 on a regular, routine basis. 2257 01:30:07,266 --> 01:30:09,100 That's why they have a supportive community there, 2258 01:30:09,100 --> 01:30:11,733 because they constantly had the opportunity 2259 01:30:11,733 --> 01:30:14,066 to interact with somebody with autism. 2260 01:30:14,066 --> 01:30:15,800 And we have to do the same thing with the communities 2261 01:30:15,800 --> 01:30:17,900 that we're working in across the world. 2262 01:30:17,900 --> 01:30:20,100 We have to repeatedly get people with autism 2263 01:30:20,100 --> 01:30:23,733 out into our community, so that we have lots of exposure 2264 01:30:23,733 --> 01:30:25,633 and opportunity to learn from 2265 01:30:25,633 --> 01:30:27,466 and interact with people with autism. 2266 01:30:27,466 --> 01:30:29,666 That's what's gonna make the difference. 2267 01:30:29,666 --> 01:30:31,366 CAREN: When Mickey was growing up, 2268 01:30:31,366 --> 01:30:33,233 he didn't have many friends, 2269 01:30:33,233 --> 01:30:35,066 even though there were always people who were nice to him. 2270 01:30:35,066 --> 01:30:37,800 - So, what do you think of Scrabble? 2271 01:30:37,800 --> 01:30:39,833 CAREN: But the kind of friend who... 2272 01:30:39,833 --> 01:30:41,700 - Should we play it when we get back? 2273 01:30:41,700 --> 01:30:43,733 CAREN: ...who just wants to be around you 2274 01:30:43,733 --> 01:30:44,966 because of who you are... 2275 01:30:44,966 --> 01:30:46,133 - Are you there? - Yeah. 2276 01:30:46,133 --> 01:30:47,600 - Should we play Scrabble when we get back? 2277 01:30:47,600 --> 01:30:50,633 CAREN: ...that was a rarity. 2278 01:30:50,633 --> 01:30:51,966 But in the last few years, 2279 01:30:51,966 --> 01:30:54,566 Mickey has made those kinds of friendships. 2280 01:30:54,566 --> 01:30:57,100 - Good one. 2281 01:30:57,100 --> 01:31:00,533 CAREN: His friend Matt, he only speaks about 90 words. 2282 01:31:00,533 --> 01:31:03,433 But Mickey, Mickey more than makes up for that, 2283 01:31:03,433 --> 01:31:06,166 and they've become really close friends. 2284 01:31:06,166 --> 01:31:08,300 They have a real connection. 2285 01:31:08,300 --> 01:31:10,933 And they play Scrabble all the time, 2286 01:31:10,933 --> 01:31:13,666 and Matt orchestrates all of his answers 2287 01:31:13,666 --> 01:31:16,133 so that every game will end in a tie. 2288 01:31:16,133 --> 01:31:19,566 - Thank you. I thought that wasn't in the dictionary. 2289 01:31:19,566 --> 01:31:21,933 CAREN: Mickey really likes to win, 2290 01:31:21,933 --> 01:31:24,966 but he also cheers for Matt. - Good one. 2291 01:31:24,966 --> 01:31:30,566 CAREN: In some ways, it's Mickey who has to go more than halfway. 2292 01:31:32,600 --> 01:31:34,933 Of course there's one kind of relationship 2293 01:31:34,933 --> 01:31:38,466 that is way more complicated, no matter who you are. 2294 01:31:38,466 --> 01:31:41,400 She likes cats like me. 2295 01:31:41,400 --> 01:31:42,766 - She likes cats? 2296 01:31:42,766 --> 01:31:44,066 Oh, that's perfect, does she own a cat? 2297 01:31:44,066 --> 01:31:46,366 - She likes to do impressions of cats. 2298 01:31:46,366 --> 01:31:48,400 - Oh so she meows for you? - Yes. 2299 01:31:48,400 --> 01:31:50,500 - And do you purr? - I purr. 2300 01:31:50,500 --> 01:31:51,800 - You purr when she meows? - Yes. 2301 01:31:51,800 --> 01:31:54,566 - Do you have a crush on her? - I do, meow. 2302 01:31:54,566 --> 01:31:56,966 - Oh, see, I can tell you like her because you meowed after. 2303 01:31:56,966 --> 01:31:58,500 - Yes. 2304 01:31:58,500 --> 01:32:00,633 - Do you want her to be your girlfriend? 2305 01:32:00,633 --> 01:32:02,633 - I want her to be my girlfriend. 2306 01:32:02,633 --> 01:32:04,366 - Yeah. Maybe we could come up with a few ways 2307 01:32:04,366 --> 01:32:05,400 to try to get her to be your girlfriend? 2308 01:32:05,400 --> 01:32:08,466 - Yeah. Just three roses please. 2309 01:32:08,466 --> 01:32:10,266 - He wants to get three roses for a special friend of his. 2310 01:32:10,266 --> 01:32:11,266 - Okay. 2311 01:32:11,266 --> 01:32:13,000 - I think that's a good choice, 2312 01:32:13,000 --> 01:32:14,400 I think she'll like 'em. - Yes. 2313 01:32:14,400 --> 01:32:15,700 - Do you wanna get her a card too? 2314 01:32:15,700 --> 01:32:17,800 - Okay. - I think we should. 2315 01:32:17,800 --> 01:32:20,000 So which one should we get her? - This one. 2316 01:32:20,000 --> 01:32:22,466 - Well, do you wanna look at them first? 2317 01:32:22,466 --> 01:32:24,800 What does that say? "Happy anniversary"? 2318 01:32:24,800 --> 01:32:27,533 Well, it's not your anniversary, is it? 2319 01:32:27,533 --> 01:32:29,600 - "It's a girl!" 2320 01:32:29,600 --> 01:32:32,400 - Nope, she's not having a baby. 2321 01:32:32,400 --> 01:32:34,100 - "Thinking of you." 2322 01:32:34,100 --> 01:32:35,566 - "Thinking of you," I like that one. 2323 01:32:35,566 --> 01:32:37,100 All right we'll get that one. - Yes. 2324 01:32:39,400 --> 01:32:41,133 - All right? - Yeah, thank you. 2325 01:32:41,133 --> 01:32:42,400 - Do you think she'll like them? 2326 01:32:42,400 --> 01:32:44,466 - ♪ She'll love them. ♪ 2327 01:32:46,366 --> 01:32:48,533 CAREN: And I don't know if this crush 2328 01:32:48,533 --> 01:32:50,700 will ever turn into anything. 2329 01:32:50,700 --> 01:32:55,266 But, as his mom, I, I hope he finds somebody. 2330 01:32:59,600 --> 01:33:03,133 ♪ ♪ 2331 01:33:03,133 --> 01:33:06,866 It's really such a simple thing. 2332 01:33:06,866 --> 01:33:09,500 Not charity, but real friendship. 2333 01:33:09,500 --> 01:33:10,766 (laughter) 2334 01:33:10,766 --> 01:33:13,200 My friend Peter Gerhardt, 2335 01:33:13,200 --> 01:33:14,200 who works with people with autism... 2336 01:33:14,200 --> 01:33:17,033 - What's up, A.J.!? 2337 01:33:17,033 --> 01:33:19,300 CAREN: ...shared his really lovely take on how much 2338 01:33:19,300 --> 01:33:21,966 we get back in return. 2339 01:33:21,966 --> 01:33:26,533 He said, "If you want to truly understand human emotion, 2340 01:33:26,533 --> 01:33:29,200 "you should hang out with someone on the spectrum. 2341 01:33:29,200 --> 01:33:32,366 "If someone with autism is happy, 2342 01:33:32,366 --> 01:33:35,333 "there is no hiding they're happy. 2343 01:33:35,333 --> 01:33:37,333 "If someone with autism is sad, 2344 01:33:37,333 --> 01:33:40,300 "there's no disguising their sadness. 2345 01:33:40,300 --> 01:33:43,300 "If someone with autism likes you, 2346 01:33:43,300 --> 01:33:46,500 "then they just like you, 2347 01:33:46,500 --> 01:33:49,533 "with no other agenda. 2348 01:33:49,533 --> 01:33:53,833 It is one of the most beautiful things about autism." 2349 01:33:53,833 --> 01:33:58,866 ♪ ♪ 2350 01:34:02,400 --> 01:34:03,733 Do you know how old Donald is, Mickey? 2351 01:34:03,733 --> 01:34:05,166 MICKEY: How old is he? 2352 01:34:05,166 --> 01:34:07,100 - He's 84 years old. - 84? 2353 01:34:07,100 --> 01:34:08,266 - Yeah. - He's old. 2354 01:34:08,266 --> 01:34:09,733 - He's old. 2355 01:34:09,733 --> 01:34:14,666 The 84th element on the periodic table is Polonium. 2356 01:34:14,666 --> 01:34:17,433 Why are we talking about the periodic tables? 2357 01:34:17,433 --> 01:34:19,266 - Since he's 84. - Ah! 2358 01:34:19,266 --> 01:34:21,333 So what do you think you'll say... 2359 01:34:21,333 --> 01:34:22,500 what are you gonna say to Donald? 2360 01:34:22,500 --> 01:34:23,866 (phone ringing) 2361 01:34:23,866 --> 01:34:25,500 Who's that? - It's Donald! 2362 01:34:25,500 --> 01:34:26,933 - Oh! Answer it. 2363 01:34:26,933 --> 01:34:28,966 - Hello. - Put it on speaker. 2364 01:34:28,966 --> 01:34:31,400 DONALD (on phone): Hi Caren. How are you doing? 2365 01:34:31,400 --> 01:34:32,866 - Hi Donald. 2366 01:34:32,866 --> 01:34:36,433 DONALD (stammering): Are you having trouble 2367 01:34:36,433 --> 01:34:37,933 finding this place? 2368 01:34:37,933 --> 01:34:39,366 - Yeah, we're almost there, I think. 2369 01:34:39,366 --> 01:34:43,100 ♪ ♪ 2370 01:34:43,100 --> 01:34:46,133 So while I wanted Mickey to meet Donald, 2371 01:34:46,133 --> 01:34:48,766 because Donald really is a part of history... 2372 01:34:48,766 --> 01:34:50,633 Donald! Hey! 2373 01:34:50,633 --> 01:34:51,700 Hey, how are you doing? 2374 01:34:51,700 --> 01:34:53,266 - I'm good. I want you to meet-- 2375 01:34:53,266 --> 01:34:55,133 - Hey Mickey! - What's up? 2376 01:34:55,133 --> 01:34:57,366 CAREN (voiceover): ...I wasn't expecting anything 2377 01:34:57,366 --> 01:35:00,766 dramatic to happen when they finally did meet. 2378 01:35:00,766 --> 01:35:02,100 I know Mickey. 2379 01:35:02,100 --> 01:35:05,366 And even though in general he's pretty chatty, 2380 01:35:05,366 --> 01:35:09,266 he can easily get shy when he meets new people, 2381 01:35:09,266 --> 01:35:14,233 and their meeting was awkward, which didn't really surprise me. 2382 01:35:14,233 --> 01:35:15,600 (onscreen): So I've been wanting you guys 2383 01:35:15,600 --> 01:35:17,700 to meet forever. - Yeah. Uh-uh. 2384 01:35:17,700 --> 01:35:19,833 - You two finally meet. - I love it. 2385 01:35:19,833 --> 01:35:22,800 - Tell him what you like to do. 2386 01:35:22,800 --> 01:35:25,466 - I like Disney. 2387 01:35:25,466 --> 01:35:28,400 - (stammering): Yeah I go to a few museums. 2388 01:35:28,400 --> 01:35:34,300 - And I also love "Inside Out," the movie. 2389 01:35:34,300 --> 01:35:36,133 - Oh yes, I like the beach. 2390 01:35:36,133 --> 01:35:39,500 CAREN: I really appreciated how Donald, 2391 01:35:39,500 --> 01:35:42,800 who is usually quite reserved, 2392 01:35:42,800 --> 01:35:45,066 did a really lovely thing. 2393 01:35:45,066 --> 01:35:47,633 He invited Mickey to spend time with him, 2394 01:35:47,633 --> 01:35:51,466 doing what he loves to do. 2395 01:35:51,466 --> 01:35:54,466 ♪ ♪ 2396 01:35:54,466 --> 01:35:57,900 But golf just isn't Mickey's thing. 2397 01:35:57,900 --> 01:36:05,166 - Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron... 2398 01:36:05,166 --> 01:36:07,633 - You can use both hands. 2399 01:36:07,633 --> 01:36:09,400 CAREN: And they still weren't connecting. 2400 01:36:09,400 --> 01:36:12,133 Barium... (Mickey reciting elements) 2401 01:36:12,133 --> 01:36:15,800 But then something happened, when Donald had Mickey over 2402 01:36:15,800 --> 01:36:17,033 to watch "Wheel of Fortune." 2403 01:36:17,033 --> 01:36:20,800 They both love that show. 2404 01:36:20,800 --> 01:36:23,800 And they're both really good at it. 2405 01:36:23,800 --> 01:36:24,933 MICKEY: Reporter for... 2406 01:36:24,933 --> 01:36:27,200 BOTH: ...the student's newspaper. 2407 01:36:27,200 --> 01:36:30,966 - Right. Reporter for the student newspaper. 2408 01:36:30,966 --> 01:36:33,800 CONTESTANT (on TV): Reporter for the student newspaper. 2409 01:36:33,800 --> 01:36:35,200 - Got it! 2410 01:36:35,200 --> 01:36:38,000 CAREN: And that was where I saw them 2411 01:36:38,000 --> 01:36:40,300 really start to connect. 2412 01:36:40,300 --> 01:36:42,133 It was really something, 2413 01:36:42,133 --> 01:36:44,666 to see these two men with autism, 2414 01:36:44,666 --> 01:36:46,266 from such different worlds. 2415 01:36:46,266 --> 01:36:47,600 - Thanks for getting my contact. 2416 01:36:47,600 --> 01:36:49,233 And, if you call me, I'll see your number. 2417 01:36:49,233 --> 01:36:53,933 ♪ ♪ 2418 01:36:57,866 --> 01:37:00,033 We did it. 2419 01:37:00,033 --> 01:37:02,200 - Mickey, I've enjoyed it very much. 2420 01:37:02,200 --> 01:37:04,933 - Bye. - Caren, I enjoyed it very much. 2421 01:37:04,933 --> 01:37:07,300 - I'll take a hug. - Yeah, okay. 2422 01:37:07,300 --> 01:37:08,333 - Thank you so much, D.T. 2423 01:37:08,333 --> 01:37:10,100 - You're certainly welcome. 2424 01:37:10,100 --> 01:37:12,166 All right, C.Z. (Caren chuckles) 2425 01:37:12,166 --> 01:37:13,666 - I'll see you next time. 2426 01:37:13,666 --> 01:37:15,200 - All right, we'll see ya! 2427 01:37:15,200 --> 01:37:16,500 CAREN (voiceover): I don't really know 2428 01:37:16,500 --> 01:37:19,766 how much it meant to Mickey in the moment, 2429 01:37:19,766 --> 01:37:22,533 but I'm pretty sure he doesn't see the hope 2430 01:37:22,533 --> 01:37:25,633 in Donald's story the way that I see it, 2431 01:37:25,633 --> 01:37:27,933 how a community can learn to do right 2432 01:37:27,933 --> 01:37:30,533 by someone who is different. 2433 01:37:30,533 --> 01:37:32,433 (engine starts) 2434 01:37:32,433 --> 01:37:34,800 I know Donald's remarkable life 2435 01:37:34,800 --> 01:37:37,866 is mostly because of who Donald is, 2436 01:37:37,866 --> 01:37:41,600 but I'm not 100% sure, that without the support, 2437 01:37:41,600 --> 01:37:46,533 and encouragement and acceptance and kindness of Forest, 2438 01:37:46,533 --> 01:37:49,600 that Donald would be who Donald is today. 2439 01:37:50,633 --> 01:37:52,966 Donald Triplett is a happy man. 2440 01:37:52,966 --> 01:37:55,400 ♪ ♪ 2441 01:38:04,366 --> 01:38:06,200 Here's the funny thing that's really true. 2442 01:38:06,200 --> 01:38:09,533 Mickey is a happy man too. 2443 01:38:09,533 --> 01:38:10,766 - Got it. 2444 01:38:10,766 --> 01:38:14,933 CAREN: He is a really happy person, 2445 01:38:14,933 --> 01:38:19,733 he's full of love and laughter, 2446 01:38:19,733 --> 01:38:22,800 and he isn't touched by some of the struggles that, 2447 01:38:22,800 --> 01:38:28,200 you know, others have to live with. 2448 01:38:28,200 --> 01:38:31,033 And he's safe right now. 2449 01:38:31,033 --> 01:38:34,833 But my worry is when he gets outside the door of my home, 2450 01:38:34,833 --> 01:38:39,966 where Donald has found a way to be a happy man 2451 01:38:39,966 --> 01:38:42,900 in his community, and throughout his life 2452 01:38:42,900 --> 01:38:44,333 and in his travels... 2453 01:38:44,333 --> 01:38:46,033 (in-person): All toasty, toasty? - Yeah. 2454 01:38:46,033 --> 01:38:49,100 - Yeah? Okay? ♪ ♪ 2455 01:38:49,100 --> 01:38:54,500 You know, I still have hope that Mickey will have that, 2456 01:38:54,500 --> 01:38:57,766 but I haven't found that yet, in the world, for him. 2457 01:38:57,766 --> 01:39:02,866 ♪ ♪ 2458 01:39:05,400 --> 01:39:10,000 ♪ ♪ 2459 01:39:10,000 --> 01:39:12,533 - Matt, you wanna say anything else? 2460 01:39:12,533 --> 01:39:14,600 You can say anything, go ahead. 2461 01:39:14,600 --> 01:39:16,166 - Run errands. 2462 01:39:16,166 --> 01:39:19,433 - All right. So Matt wants us to know what his schedule is, 2463 01:39:19,433 --> 01:39:21,633 and what's next on the schedule, which is of 2464 01:39:21,633 --> 01:39:24,500 primary importance to him for today. 2465 01:39:24,500 --> 01:39:25,500 (Matt chuckles) 2466 01:39:25,500 --> 01:39:28,400 ♪ ♪ 2467 01:39:28,400 --> 01:39:29,433 - I mean, I've always been 2468 01:39:29,433 --> 01:39:33,366 proud to say that I have autism 2469 01:39:33,366 --> 01:39:36,766 because we have so much more to bring to the table. 2470 01:39:36,766 --> 01:39:41,066 Got people who like play music and they may be on the spectrum. 2471 01:39:41,066 --> 01:39:43,166 Got people who might be like good doctors, 2472 01:39:43,166 --> 01:39:45,833 good baseball players, 2473 01:39:45,833 --> 01:39:48,466 we have something to contribute to society, 2474 01:39:48,466 --> 01:39:49,766 if you give us a chance. 2475 01:39:49,766 --> 01:39:53,166 ♪ ♪ 2476 01:39:53,166 --> 01:39:54,600 - It's kinda like a zebra's stripes, 2477 01:39:54,600 --> 01:39:57,366 no two people with autism are exactly the same. 2478 01:39:57,366 --> 01:39:58,766 There are a bunch of moving parts to this, 2479 01:39:58,766 --> 01:40:00,333 I mean, autism is just one of them, 2480 01:40:00,333 --> 01:40:01,833 it's not all of who I am, 2481 01:40:01,833 --> 01:40:03,933 I'm more than that, I'm Noah, I have... 2482 01:40:03,933 --> 01:40:07,033 I have my hopes, I have my dreams, 2483 01:40:07,033 --> 01:40:10,333 I have my fears, I have my feelings just like anyone else. 2484 01:40:10,333 --> 01:40:15,100 ♪ ♪ 2485 01:40:15,100 --> 01:40:17,166 - We autistic people have struggles, 2486 01:40:17,166 --> 01:40:21,400 um, but we have to adjust for others, 2487 01:40:21,400 --> 01:40:24,366 but um... I feel like society 2488 01:40:24,366 --> 01:40:28,500 has to make accommodations for us as well. 2489 01:40:28,500 --> 01:40:30,333 As much as people should accommodate 2490 01:40:30,333 --> 01:40:31,633 for people on the spectrum, 2491 01:40:31,633 --> 01:40:34,266 we as self-advocates should also acknowledge 2492 01:40:34,266 --> 01:40:36,633 that we need to make some adjustments 2493 01:40:36,633 --> 01:40:39,333 for the other side as well, and I think once both sides 2494 01:40:39,333 --> 01:40:41,133 starts to make that, make that leap, 2495 01:40:41,133 --> 01:40:43,533 that's where the real progress happens. 2496 01:40:43,533 --> 01:40:48,833 ♪ ♪ 2497 01:40:48,833 --> 01:40:51,533 - What would you like people to know about you? 2498 01:40:51,533 --> 01:40:55,300 How about, even though I don't talk, 2499 01:40:55,300 --> 01:40:58,333 there's a lot going on inside, right? 2500 01:40:58,333 --> 01:41:01,566 Just because you're not verbal doesn't mean that you're not 2501 01:41:01,566 --> 01:41:06,300 a thinking, intelligent, bright human being. 2502 01:41:06,300 --> 01:41:09,533 That's what I think she would say. 2503 01:41:09,533 --> 01:41:11,933 What do you think, Mol? - Mm-hm. 2504 01:41:11,933 --> 01:41:16,133 ♪ ♪ 2505 01:41:16,133 --> 01:41:17,866 When you call someone low functioning, 2506 01:41:17,866 --> 01:41:19,700 it dismisses their strengths. 2507 01:41:19,700 --> 01:41:22,700 When you call someone high functioning, 2508 01:41:22,700 --> 01:41:24,266 it dismisses their struggles. 2509 01:41:24,266 --> 01:41:28,633 We sometimes go out to the mall and sometimes we do karaoke. 2510 01:41:28,633 --> 01:41:32,466 ♪ Start spreading the news ♪ 2511 01:41:32,466 --> 01:41:36,466 ♪ I'm leaving today. ♪ 2512 01:41:36,466 --> 01:41:38,666 Everybody should know about autism. 2513 01:41:38,666 --> 01:41:40,600 'Cause they have to learn a lot more. 2514 01:41:40,600 --> 01:41:42,400 They have to learn much better. 2515 01:41:42,400 --> 01:41:44,766 They have to learn about tolerance. 2516 01:41:44,766 --> 01:41:48,333 I want my family and friends to see the goodness in me. 2517 01:41:48,333 --> 01:41:50,566 Because my dream is to see the goodness 2518 01:41:50,566 --> 01:41:53,633 in all my family and friends. 2519 01:41:53,633 --> 01:41:55,400 You know, I'm not that little boy 2520 01:41:55,400 --> 01:41:59,133 that used to flap his hands or bang his head on the floor. 2521 01:41:59,133 --> 01:42:02,333 You know, I have changed drastically through life, 2522 01:42:02,333 --> 01:42:05,200 and now I see myself as a better person 2523 01:42:05,200 --> 01:42:07,133 that can help others with autism. 2524 01:42:07,133 --> 01:42:10,833 And now, let's talk about something different, shall we? 2525 01:42:10,833 --> 01:42:13,000 CAREN: Sure, what would you like to talk about? 2526 01:42:13,000 --> 01:42:17,966 We can talk about, uh... 2527 01:42:17,966 --> 01:42:19,000 Heaven? 2528 01:42:20,066 --> 01:42:25,100 ♪ ♪ 2529 01:42:40,000 --> 01:42:45,033 ♪ ♪ 2530 01:43:00,000 --> 01:43:05,100 ♪ ♪ 177001

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