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This program contains footage
of children in distress,
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00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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including historical
medical treatments
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00:00:05,433 --> 00:00:07,366
that may be disturbing.
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Viewer discretion is advised.
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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MAN: If you like, would you
please have a seat right here.
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MAN: Okay.
- Thank you.
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Uh, what should I say?
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FILMMAKER: We wanted you to talk
into the lens.
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Hello, lens.
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(clapperboard clicking)
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Hi, I'm Isabelle Piwniky,
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but I prefer to be called Izzy,
or Iz, or Izzymeister.
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And I'm autistic.
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I am autistic.
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I am on the autism spectrum.
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I have autism.
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I have autism.
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AUTOMATED VOICE (via phone):
I have autism.
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If somebody came up to me
on the street
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and asked me
what autism looks like,
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I'd probably say
you're looking at it.
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CAREN: Can you tell me
a little bit about autism?
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Uh... what's autism, Caren?
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♪ ♪
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CAREN: What is autism?
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Now that's complicated.
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MICKEY: Hydrogen, helium.
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CAREN: Because the number
of ways to be autistic...
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MICKEY: Lithium...
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CAREN: ...is infinite.
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MICKEY: Beryllium, boron.
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(bird cawing)
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♪ ♪
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73 Tantalum.
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00:01:28,100 --> 00:01:31,166
74 Tungsten, 75 Rhenium...
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CAREN: Take a man
who finds comfort walking around
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naming all
the elements of the universe.
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MICKEY:
79 is gold, 80 mercury. 81--
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CAREN: He has autism.
- 82 is lead.
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83, B-I, Bismuth. 84--
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CAREN:
He's also my son, Mickey.
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♪ ♪
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All the years I've known him,
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Mickey has been teaching me
more about autism than anyone.
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It's been
an adventure for both of us.
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00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,666
But as a journalist,
I've also spent years
49
00:02:07,666 --> 00:02:12,400
looking into how the world has
responded to autistic people.
50
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And on that journey,
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I found darkness.
52
00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:17,733
MICKEY: 25 is Manganese...
53
00:02:17,733 --> 00:02:21,366
CAREN: But also found
real reasons to hope...
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00:02:21,366 --> 00:02:23,633
MICKEY:
26 Iron...
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CAREN:
...that people like Mickey,
56
00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:28,066
and everyone who is different,
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00:02:28,066 --> 00:02:31,800
might still
get the chance to belong.
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To really belong.
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♪ ♪
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(in car):
So what's next?
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MICKEY (in car): 1.1 miles,
the destination is on the right.
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ANNOUNCER (on speaker):
In 1.1 miles, the destination...
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CAREN (voiceover):
And thinking about all of that,
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I brought Mickey with me
on a trip to Mississippi,
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to meet a friend I had made.
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I'm excited that you're here.
- Yes.
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00:02:54,533 --> 00:02:56,533
I'm excited to
introduce you to Donald.
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- Yes.
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CAREN (voiceover):
Someone from a small town,
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who I got close to when
writing a book about autism.
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So, do who Donald is, Mickey?
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ANNOUNCER (on speaker): Make
a U-turn at Earl Johnson road.
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(stammering):
He has autism.
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CAREN (voiceover): And whose
story is where my journey began.
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♪ ♪
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(birds chirping)
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CELESTE:
I've always known Don.
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I don't remember
not knowing Don.
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VIANNE: We knew that Don was
a little different.
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JOBYNA: But what it was,
we didn't know.
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♪ ♪
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CAREN: They call him Don,
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but I first knew him as Donald,
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Donald T.
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That's how his name appeared
over 70 years ago.
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It was in
the first medical article
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that fully described a new
diagnosis in children
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that we call autism.
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And in that article
that described several children,
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Donald Gray Triplett,
was described in way more detail
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than the others.
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And he came first.
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He was, literally,
case number one.
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And how did life turn out
for him?
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How much did he get to belong?
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To grow, to love, to be loved?
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Autism's first child.
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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(marbles clacking)
101
00:05:02,166 --> 00:05:05,166
My mother taught me
how to drive.
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I, I was sort of a late...
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00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:12,033
I was actually 27 when I
got my driver's license.
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I just enjoy doing it.
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Of course that's the
Bank of Forest right there.
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Hey, Shelby Welby.
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- Hey, Donald.
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- Hey, Nat the Cat.
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Hey, R.C.
- Hey, Don.
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- Hey, K.H.
- Hey, Don.
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00:05:28,833 --> 00:05:32,200
He comes to the bank every day
at 2:00, you know?
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Makes his rounds.
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Hey, Big Debbie.
Hey, Tricky Nick.
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CELESTE: He really
brightens our day at the bank.
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- Hey, Jan with a plan!
- Hi, Don darling!
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Don is a very loving person,
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and we enjoy seeing him
every day.
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You know,
he's just a lot of fun.
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♪ ♪
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CAREN: In 1937, when Donald
was three years old,
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he was placed in an institution.
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And it was called the
preventorium.
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A preventorium used to
be a place
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where children at risk of
getting tuberculosis
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00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,466
were kept separated
from society.
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But sometimes,
families that were well off,
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they would actually place
a child there
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for a different reason--
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if the child was hard to manage,
or even just different.
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Donald was
one of those children.
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O.B. TRIPLETT: So there was
a preventorium and sanitorium,
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a little community in Simpson
County just south of here.
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Of course they assured
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my grandparents,
from what I've gathered
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that that's what was
expected for them to do.
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That's what
was accepted at that time.
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My name is O.B. Triplett,
and, um, Don is my uncle.
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Beamon Triplett was
Don's father and my granddad.
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He was born in 1902.
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Was a lawyer here in town,
and he grew up kind of poor,
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but his momma scrimped and saved
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and managed somehow
to get him to Yale.
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And he graduated from Yale
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and opened a law practice here
in Scott County years ago.
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So he was settled here and wound
up marrying my...
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well, married my grandmother.
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00:07:16,066 --> 00:07:18,233
Her name was Mary McCravey.
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So they're just
a young couple starting out.
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And I think they built the house
in maybe in the early 1930s.
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And I, I think they ordered
the plans
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00:07:27,833 --> 00:07:29,766
out of the Sears Roebuck
catalog,
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and they had just kind
of an idealistic life here
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in rural small-town Mississippi.
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And Don was born,
and everything's good,
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and then as
Don gets a little older,
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they start picking up things
are different
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and realized that something
wasn't quite right.
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Of course, at the time,
autism wasn't even a word.
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Nobody knew, you know,
about it or anything.
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She, she was under
the impression that, you know,
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perhaps he was insane.
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CAREN: You know,
I first learned about Donald
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00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:04,000
when I was
doing research on autism,
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00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,166
and I learned
that he was institutionalized
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based on the very first study
written about him in 1943.
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00:08:09,266 --> 00:08:12,733
John Donvan and I
were working on a book
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00:08:12,733 --> 00:08:14,633
on the history of autism.
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He and I had
produced stories on autism
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for 20 years for ABC News.
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John was on-air talent,
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00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:24,300
and I was
a producer behind the scenes.
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I have a brother-in-law
with autism and because of that,
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Donald being institutionalized
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so young really shocked
Caren and me.
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But then
we started to understand
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that's what
parents of children like him
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were told to do back then.
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And they did.
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♪ ♪
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PETE GERHARDT: You know,
institutions were developed
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with all good intentions,
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00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,833
it was to protect
the innocents with disabilities
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from the evils of society.
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But that didn't really work.
(chuckles)
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That turned out to be kind of
a very expensive bad idea
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00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:55,766
for many, many people.
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JOHN: They became dumping
grounds for the unwanted.
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00:08:58,866 --> 00:09:01,700
And families were pressured even
to keep the existence
189
00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:04,966
of a disabled child a
complete secret.
190
00:09:04,966 --> 00:09:08,633
Shame became
inextricable from disability.
191
00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:10,133
So families complied with
192
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,700
the pressure
to institutionalize.
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00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:14,400
And that's what
Donald's parents did.
194
00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:18,466
Well, I certainly think
it's chilling that 50 years ago,
195
00:09:18,466 --> 00:09:20,333
people on
the spectrum were locked away.
196
00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:21,633
It's hard to imagine that
197
00:09:21,633 --> 00:09:24,566
someone like me
or even someone that was...
198
00:09:24,566 --> 00:09:28,266
maybe had a lot more struggles
than I did
199
00:09:28,266 --> 00:09:30,633
would be locked up
and just put away.
200
00:09:30,633 --> 00:09:32,800
(film reel churning)
201
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,866
CAREN:
But then something happened
202
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:39,433
that would save Donald's life,
and alter history.
203
00:09:39,433 --> 00:09:43,033
Mary and Beamon Triplett
changed their minds.
204
00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:44,433
I think one day she said,
205
00:09:44,433 --> 00:09:46,866
"You know what,
I'm not doing this.
206
00:09:46,866 --> 00:09:48,433
I am not doing this.
207
00:09:48,433 --> 00:09:50,000
You know,
it doesn't feel right."
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00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,166
And so they went and got him,
209
00:09:52,166 --> 00:09:54,833
put him in the car-- probably
a Ford, Granddad liked Ford.
210
00:09:54,833 --> 00:09:58,366
Anyway, you know,
and then headed back up here.
211
00:09:58,366 --> 00:09:59,800
And then were
going to turn the page
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00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,300
and start another chapter
in the life of Don.
213
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:04,166
CAREN: And then she did
214
00:10:04,166 --> 00:10:08,666
everything she could
to make him part of the world.
215
00:10:08,666 --> 00:10:12,400
TRIPLETT: One day,
granddad went to his office,
216
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:16,566
and dictated a letter,
33 pages long,
217
00:10:16,566 --> 00:10:19,800
and it was a description of Don.
218
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:24,166
What he, I guess, had observed,
he and Grandmomma had observed.
219
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,600
JOHN: So this description
220
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:29,033
that Donald's father
put together is truly historic,
221
00:10:29,033 --> 00:10:31,533
because although it was
written by an amateur, by a dad,
222
00:10:31,533 --> 00:10:35,066
it would go on to be
quoted again and again
223
00:10:35,066 --> 00:10:37,266
as one of the best and earliest
224
00:10:37,266 --> 00:10:41,000
clinical descriptions
of what today we call autism.
225
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,833
♪ ♪
226
00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:47,100
TRIPLETT: "He seems almost
to live within himself,
227
00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:49,500
"and seldom comes
to anyone when called.
228
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:52,133
"He seems to almost
to draw into his shell,
229
00:10:52,133 --> 00:10:54,000
oblivious to
everything around him."
230
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,833
JOHN: Some of what Beamon wrote
was focused on Donald's
231
00:10:57,833 --> 00:11:00,166
unusual strengths
when he was a one-year-old.
232
00:11:00,166 --> 00:11:02,400
TRIPLETT: "He knew the pictures
of the presidents
233
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,933
"and the alphabet backwards
as well as forwards,
234
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:08,366
and has an unusual memory."
235
00:11:08,366 --> 00:11:10,233
JOHN: But Donald's dad
also shared things
236
00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:11,833
that worried his parents.
237
00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:13,566
His language was very different.
238
00:11:13,566 --> 00:11:15,100
When he spoke,
he reversed the way pronouns
239
00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:17,500
are supposed to be used.
240
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,133
He was obsessed with sameness.
241
00:11:19,133 --> 00:11:21,366
So if the furniture in a room
was moved around,
242
00:11:21,366 --> 00:11:23,100
he would have wild tantrums.
243
00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:24,900
And if he was handed any object,
244
00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:27,200
all he would do is sit there
and spin it,
245
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,766
for hours and hours,
246
00:11:28,766 --> 00:11:31,466
but he looked through people
as if they weren't even there.
247
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:37,133
TRIPLETT: "He appears to be
always thinking and thinking,
248
00:11:37,133 --> 00:11:38,566
"and to get his attention
249
00:11:38,566 --> 00:11:41,733
"almost requires one to
break down a mental barrier
250
00:11:41,733 --> 00:11:45,600
between his inner consciousness
and the outside world."
251
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:48,300
JOHN: Donald's father
finished the letter
252
00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:49,500
in September of 1938,
253
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,566
and then he mailed it
254
00:11:51,566 --> 00:11:53,966
to the world's leading
child psychiatrist,
255
00:11:53,966 --> 00:11:56,466
who was at Johns Hopkins
in Baltimore.
256
00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:57,933
DR. LEO KANNER: In 1938,
257
00:11:57,933 --> 00:12:02,333
Donald T., five years old then,
258
00:12:02,333 --> 00:12:05,500
was brought to my clinic from
Forest, Mississippi.
259
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:08,266
JOHN:
Leo Kanner was fascinated
260
00:12:08,266 --> 00:12:10,800
by Donald's
combination of behaviors,
261
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,166
and also puzzled by them.
262
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:13,600
And it took him
263
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,400
some years trying to figure out
what they signified.
264
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:22,166
I went there three times:
1938, 1940, and 1943.
265
00:12:22,166 --> 00:12:26,566
JOHN: And in studying Donald,
Kanner had this epiphany,
266
00:12:26,566 --> 00:12:28,533
that the categories that people
like him
267
00:12:28,533 --> 00:12:30,333
would have been
placed under back then,
268
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,700
like feeblemindedness
or insanity,
269
00:12:32,700 --> 00:12:35,066
that these represented
the wrong diagnosis,
270
00:12:35,066 --> 00:12:37,233
and we're not
just talking about Donald.
271
00:12:37,233 --> 00:12:40,366
Donald Triplett very likely
was not the first person
272
00:12:40,366 --> 00:12:42,133
(chuckling):
to ever have autism.
273
00:12:42,133 --> 00:12:46,100
There were very likely
many people who were autistic,
274
00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:50,666
who were grouped into other
categories or diagnostic groups
275
00:12:50,666 --> 00:12:56,066
that also hadn't been refined
yet in terms of our knowledge.
276
00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:57,900
JOHN: But it was Kanner
who did something about that.
277
00:12:57,900 --> 00:12:59,933
He put together what he saw
in Donald
278
00:12:59,933 --> 00:13:01,333
with some observations
279
00:13:01,333 --> 00:13:03,333
he subsequently made in
ten other kids
280
00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:05,933
and he applied the term autism.
281
00:13:05,933 --> 00:13:07,133
And in 1943,
282
00:13:07,133 --> 00:13:09,766
he spelled it all out
in the article
283
00:13:09,766 --> 00:13:13,300
that introduced this
whole diagnosis to the world.
284
00:13:13,300 --> 00:13:15,333
And that's how
a little boy from Mississippi
285
00:13:15,333 --> 00:13:17,566
got to have a place in history.
286
00:13:17,566 --> 00:13:22,633
♪ ♪
287
00:13:22,633 --> 00:13:24,233
CAREN: I had heard that
the first person
288
00:13:24,233 --> 00:13:27,800
diagnosed with autism
might still be alive,
289
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,500
and he might be living in this
small town in Mississippi.
290
00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:32,666
My first reaction was...
291
00:13:32,666 --> 00:13:34,166
Wow!
292
00:13:34,166 --> 00:13:38,600
And I dialed this phone number,
and I heard this voice.
293
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:39,966
I think I found him,
294
00:13:39,966 --> 00:13:42,133
I think I found Donald Triplett,
I think this is the guy.
295
00:13:42,133 --> 00:13:45,633
Hey, Donald!
296
00:13:45,633 --> 00:13:46,700
How are ya?
297
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,400
DONALD: All right, Caren.
298
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:49,733
- Good to see you.
299
00:13:49,733 --> 00:13:51,066
- Good to see you too.
- You look great.
300
00:13:51,066 --> 00:13:53,033
- I haven't seen you in so long.
(Caren laughs)
301
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:56,533
- So look what I found.
302
00:13:56,533 --> 00:13:58,800
Is that your graduating class?
- Oh yeah.
303
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,366
- Where are you?
304
00:14:00,366 --> 00:14:06,466
- Yeah, that was taken
late in 1952.
305
00:14:06,466 --> 00:14:08,333
- And how old were you?
306
00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:12,533
- I was... I was 19
at that time.
307
00:14:12,533 --> 00:14:13,900
(people laughing)
308
00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:15,433
CAREN (voiceover):
So after I got to know Donald,
309
00:14:15,433 --> 00:14:16,766
I got to know a lot of
his friends and neighbors.
310
00:14:16,766 --> 00:14:20,833
- But I didn't get Archie,
I got John instead.
311
00:14:20,833 --> 00:14:22,933
CAREN: And I got to hear
their stories about him.
312
00:14:22,933 --> 00:14:26,933
Don assigned everyone
that he encountered numbers.
313
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:29,033
He loves
to give numbers to people
314
00:14:29,033 --> 00:14:30,300
and he's been doing that
315
00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:33,400
since when he was in
high school, I think.
316
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:39,100
Oh yeah, yeah, he gave me a
number 61 or 62 years ago, 569.
317
00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:42,066
I could call Don right now, say,
"Don, what's my number?"
318
00:14:42,066 --> 00:14:44,866
DONALD: That's Jon Rushing.
319
00:14:44,866 --> 00:14:47,666
He's one of the people
I gave numbers to.
320
00:14:47,666 --> 00:14:50,066
His number is 192.
321
00:14:50,066 --> 00:14:51,200
154.
322
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,866
1,473.
323
00:14:52,866 --> 00:14:54,400
1,315.
324
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,433
One-three-one-five.
325
00:14:56,433 --> 00:14:58,666
DONALD: One, two, three,
four, five.
326
00:14:58,666 --> 00:15:00,766
CAREN: Donald's thing
with numbers,
327
00:15:00,766 --> 00:15:02,533
it reminds me so much of Mickey.
328
00:15:02,533 --> 00:15:05,433
Europium, Zirconium, Lutetium,
Vanadium...
329
00:15:05,433 --> 00:15:07,833
CAREN: They both have
their unique way
330
00:15:07,833 --> 00:15:11,800
of organizing the world.
331
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,100
JOHN: Working with Caren
all of these years,
332
00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:15,866
I've spent
a lot of time with Mickey.
333
00:15:15,866 --> 00:15:18,900
And yeah, he has a lot of things
in common with Donald.
334
00:15:18,900 --> 00:15:20,266
But I've also noticed
335
00:15:20,266 --> 00:15:22,333
he's got his own things,
and one of them is
336
00:15:22,333 --> 00:15:25,766
that he is really connected
to his mother.
337
00:15:25,766 --> 00:15:27,433
Call Mom.
338
00:15:27,433 --> 00:15:29,866
CAREN: Depending on the day,
Mickey can call, you know,
339
00:15:29,866 --> 00:15:32,066
12, 13, 14 times a day.
340
00:15:32,066 --> 00:15:33,633
- That was my mom.
341
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:34,866
He always calls
first thing in the morning.
342
00:15:34,866 --> 00:15:37,233
And Mickey talks a lot.
343
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,266
(laughs)
344
00:15:41,266 --> 00:15:42,666
(phone dialing out)
345
00:15:42,666 --> 00:15:43,833
MICKEY (on phone): Hello, Mom!
346
00:15:43,833 --> 00:15:45,000
CAREN (on phone):
How you doing sweetie?
347
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:48,266
MICKEY: You know
in the periodic table?
348
00:15:48,266 --> 00:15:49,833
CAREN: Ummm...
349
00:15:49,833 --> 00:15:53,100
MICKEY: I made my bed be like
the first 102 elements
350
00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:54,766
of the periodic table.
351
00:15:54,766 --> 00:15:57,366
CAREN: Wait, what?
What about the periodic table?
352
00:15:57,366 --> 00:15:59,466
MICKEY: There was 102
in the bed also.
353
00:15:59,466 --> 00:16:03,333
Me and 101 animals.
354
00:16:03,333 --> 00:16:04,933
CAREN: Oh, you have 101 animals
back in the bed again?
355
00:16:04,933 --> 00:16:06,933
MICKEY: Yes.
356
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:08,766
CAREN: What happened to just
having 20?
357
00:16:08,766 --> 00:16:10,600
MICKEY: It's like
the periodic table almost.
358
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,000
CAREN: The 102 is
like the periodic table?
359
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,933
MICKEY: Yes.
CAREN: Oh...
360
00:16:13,933 --> 00:16:15,200
Okay.
361
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,566
I think you should do whatever
makes you happy.
362
00:16:17,566 --> 00:16:19,733
MICKEY: I love you, Mom.
CAREN: I love you, sweetheart.
363
00:16:19,733 --> 00:16:23,433
(voiceover): Mickey grew up
in New Jersey with us,
364
00:16:23,433 --> 00:16:26,033
but he lives in Arizona now.
365
00:16:26,033 --> 00:16:27,433
(indistinct chatter)
366
00:16:27,433 --> 00:16:31,566
He's part of a community
of adults who need support,
367
00:16:31,566 --> 00:16:32,833
and he has that there.
368
00:16:32,833 --> 00:16:33,833
MICKEY: Throwing...
369
00:16:33,833 --> 00:16:36,433
Around the...
370
00:16:36,433 --> 00:16:39,466
- Throwing
around the bad pigsties.
371
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:41,033
(laughs)
372
00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:43,466
- No, that's
not a football phrase.
373
00:16:43,466 --> 00:16:44,766
Mickey?
374
00:16:44,766 --> 00:16:45,766
CAREN:
You want this on the plane?
375
00:16:45,766 --> 00:16:46,766
- Yes.
376
00:16:46,766 --> 00:16:49,933
- Don't eat it all.
377
00:16:49,933 --> 00:16:52,266
- Old King Cole is a merry
old soul
378
00:16:52,266 --> 00:16:54,933
and a merry old soul is he.
379
00:16:54,933 --> 00:16:57,566
- Okay, so why are we
doing that?
380
00:16:57,566 --> 00:16:59,166
(voiceover): He's in a program
where he's got
381
00:16:59,166 --> 00:17:01,333
his own apartment,
and they're trying to teach him
382
00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:02,333
how to live on his own.
383
00:17:02,333 --> 00:17:03,866
- Bye!
384
00:17:03,866 --> 00:17:06,700
- Love you.
385
00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:08,666
- Squeeze?
- Squeeze.
386
00:17:09,833 --> 00:17:11,266
Squeeze.
387
00:17:11,266 --> 00:17:14,233
CAREN: Mickey is this young man
who's trying to find
388
00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:16,600
his way to navigate the world.
389
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,566
- No, no, no,
that's the flight number.
390
00:17:18,566 --> 00:17:20,200
- Squeeze!
391
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,566
All right, I'll see you soon.
- Bye!
392
00:17:23,566 --> 00:17:26,433
CAREN (voiceover): I hate
that Mickey lives so far away,
393
00:17:26,433 --> 00:17:29,733
but there are just so
few programs of any quality
394
00:17:29,733 --> 00:17:33,533
that help adults
with autism achieve that.
395
00:17:33,533 --> 00:17:36,100
At least close to us.
396
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:41,433
So Mickey, he's lovable
and charming and sweet,
397
00:17:41,433 --> 00:17:43,666
but he's really,
really vulnerable.
398
00:17:43,666 --> 00:17:46,466
And he's out there in the world,
399
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:49,766
and he doesn't
have the skills to know
400
00:17:49,766 --> 00:17:52,300
that he can be in danger.
401
00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:55,100
(ship horn blaring)
402
00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:57,300
As a mom,
but also as a journalist,
403
00:17:57,300 --> 00:18:00,433
I've learned that because
of basic misunderstandings,
404
00:18:00,433 --> 00:18:03,033
so many bad things can happen
to people out there
405
00:18:03,033 --> 00:18:04,466
who have autism.
406
00:18:04,466 --> 00:18:06,966
DISPATCHER: 9-1-1, what's
the address of your emergency?
407
00:18:06,966 --> 00:18:08,833
MAN: 1010 Stellar way.
408
00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:10,166
DISPATCH: What's the problem?
409
00:18:10,166 --> 00:18:12,733
MAN: There's an individual
that's harassing us.
410
00:18:12,733 --> 00:18:15,333
He's trying to
force his way into our car.
411
00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:16,966
DISPATCH: Okay.
(beeping)
412
00:18:16,966 --> 00:18:18,800
There's a 9-1-1- call
from a subject,
413
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,366
states that he has a subject
414
00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:22,233
that's trying to get into
his car.
415
00:18:22,233 --> 00:18:25,000
He has no idea
who the subject is.
416
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,733
OFFICER: Headquarters 13-10-8.
417
00:18:26,733 --> 00:18:28,533
Are they fighting?
418
00:18:28,533 --> 00:18:30,033
DISPATCH: That's negative.
419
00:18:31,833 --> 00:18:33,500
- Do you have an ID on you?
- No I don't.
420
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,333
- Put your hands
behind your back.
421
00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:37,800
- No!
- Stop resisting!
422
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,900
Get the cuffs on him.
- Andy, can I go, please!
423
00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:43,200
- Nick, stop!
424
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,766
- I wanna go home!
425
00:18:44,766 --> 00:18:47,166
JUDY (voiceover): When I saw
Nick in handcuffs,
426
00:18:47,166 --> 00:18:49,066
I knew he was in a lot
of trouble,
427
00:18:49,066 --> 00:18:50,833
in a lot of
trouble psychologically.
428
00:18:50,833 --> 00:18:54,300
Nick's crime was
checking mail while autistic.
429
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,900
There's no question about it.
430
00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:57,500
And he stopped
and talked to somebody
431
00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:58,533
and he should not have.
432
00:18:58,533 --> 00:19:02,200
♪ ♪
433
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,066
(boat engine humming)
434
00:19:04,066 --> 00:19:05,733
BOB (voiceover): Nick is such
a easygoing, kind person.
435
00:19:05,733 --> 00:19:08,533
You know,
I mean, it was surprising
436
00:19:08,533 --> 00:19:11,100
that somebody
would be so rough on him.
437
00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:15,933
Other way, other way,
other way, other way.
438
00:19:15,933 --> 00:19:17,533
There you go.
439
00:19:17,533 --> 00:19:19,600
Everybody knows Nick in town.
440
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:20,633
He's been here most of his life,
441
00:19:20,633 --> 00:19:22,933
I mean, and everybody knows him.
442
00:19:22,933 --> 00:19:25,066
You know, he makes the
dog tags, and he's all over town
443
00:19:25,066 --> 00:19:26,800
with this... with the people
that work with him.
444
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,166
MAGGIE: When I first started
going out
445
00:19:28,166 --> 00:19:29,700
in the community with Nick,
446
00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:31,966
it was such a warm,
447
00:19:31,966 --> 00:19:34,100
accepted feeling all the time.
448
00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:37,966
VERONICA: Anyone who knows Nick
knows that he is
449
00:19:37,966 --> 00:19:42,100
the most easygoing...
450
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:45,400
(sighs)
passive kind of guy.
451
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:49,900
CAREN: He has these routines,
and a schedule
452
00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:52,200
that includes walking down
the street every day
453
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,300
to get the mail.
454
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:56,366
Another thing he would do
455
00:19:56,366 --> 00:19:59,000
is he would look into
the parked cars along the way,
456
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,400
to make sure
they were all locked.
457
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:05,233
But the guys
who called the cops on Nick
458
00:20:05,233 --> 00:20:08,633
were from out of town,
and they just didn't know him.
459
00:20:08,633 --> 00:20:12,866
They tried asking him, you know,
a couple of questions
460
00:20:12,866 --> 00:20:14,666
that it was kind
of challenging to answer
461
00:20:14,666 --> 00:20:15,933
because he has autism.
462
00:20:15,933 --> 00:20:18,033
- Do you have an ID on you?
- No, I don't.
463
00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:19,633
JUDY: Nick's never been
in trouble in his life.
464
00:20:19,633 --> 00:20:20,800
I had no idea what was going on.
465
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,266
I thought
maybe somebody was hurt or...
466
00:20:22,266 --> 00:20:24,566
because there was an ambulance
and so on and so forth.
467
00:20:24,566 --> 00:20:26,600
I didn't... I had no idea.
- I wanna go home!
468
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,533
- I'm going to spray you!
469
00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:33,200
- Do you know this person?
- That's my son.
470
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,066
What are you doing with my boy?
What happened?
471
00:20:35,066 --> 00:20:37,233
- He was trying to get inside
this car.
472
00:20:37,233 --> 00:20:39,300
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, he does
that from time to time.
473
00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:41,133
- Okay.
- He went to check the mail.
474
00:20:41,133 --> 00:20:42,600
- So what happened was,
475
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,233
they thought he was trying
to steal the car.
476
00:20:44,233 --> 00:20:45,533
- Nah.
477
00:20:45,533 --> 00:20:46,600
- I know, I know what
you're saying. Is he...?
478
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,300
- He has autism.
- Okay.
479
00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:51,000
All right.
We pepper sprayed him.
480
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,800
We didn't know he was--
- My God!
481
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,233
I can't believe you
pepper sprayed him.
482
00:20:54,233 --> 00:20:57,900
- Ma'am--
- How dare you do this? Oh...
483
00:20:57,900 --> 00:21:00,033
(voiceover): And when I saw how
battered he was,
484
00:21:00,033 --> 00:21:03,466
it was really... I just needed
to get him to safety.
485
00:21:03,466 --> 00:21:04,966
How dare you?
486
00:21:04,966 --> 00:21:07,466
Do you hear him saying,
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry?"
487
00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:09,233
- Ma'am, I'll talk to you after.
- I said, "What did you do?"
488
00:21:09,233 --> 00:21:10,800
No, I'm talking to you now.
489
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,200
- Okay.
- What did you do?
490
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,300
"I don't know what I did."
491
00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:14,800
He looked in a car?
492
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:17,866
I turned around and asked him
why there were, um...
493
00:21:17,866 --> 00:21:21,100
hand prints around Nick's neck
and nails dug into his neck.
494
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:23,133
Do you see the bruises
on his neck?
495
00:21:23,133 --> 00:21:24,300
- Yes.
496
00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:25,900
- Can you explain how
this happened?
497
00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:27,200
- Yes.
Because he was resisting.
498
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,533
- Oh my God!
499
00:21:28,533 --> 00:21:30,833
So you pepper-sprayed him
and choked him?
500
00:21:30,833 --> 00:21:32,100
You choked my son?
501
00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:33,400
- We don't choke people, ma'am.
502
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,400
VERONICA (voiceover):
Mistakes happen.
503
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:38,333
Even really bad ones.
504
00:21:38,333 --> 00:21:41,833
But your ability to own them...
505
00:21:41,833 --> 00:21:43,333
Ma'am, let the medics--
506
00:21:43,333 --> 00:21:45,300
VERONICA: ...is a sign that you
can move on,
507
00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:47,200
that you can say
"I learned from this."
508
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,766
- Okay, that's refusal then.
509
00:21:49,766 --> 00:21:52,766
That you can
at least learn from it.
510
00:21:52,766 --> 00:21:54,700
Obviously, law enforcement
survives and thrives
511
00:21:54,700 --> 00:21:56,100
on communication,
512
00:21:56,100 --> 00:21:59,166
and by definition, autism is
a communication disorder.
513
00:21:59,166 --> 00:22:00,633
CAREN: You know,
police departments
514
00:22:00,633 --> 00:22:01,866
around the country
515
00:22:01,866 --> 00:22:04,433
are really trying to solve
this problem.
516
00:22:04,433 --> 00:22:06,366
- Some individuals, obviously,
517
00:22:06,366 --> 00:22:08,133
may not be able to make
eye contact with you.
518
00:22:08,133 --> 00:22:09,533
- There are a lot of medical
519
00:22:09,533 --> 00:22:13,066
and mental conditions
that create the same effects
520
00:22:13,066 --> 00:22:14,933
as somebody that has autism.
521
00:22:14,933 --> 00:22:17,700
- For our students
and residents,
522
00:22:17,700 --> 00:22:18,933
you can just come on in.
523
00:22:18,933 --> 00:22:20,066
You're going to sit next to
an officer.
524
00:22:20,066 --> 00:22:22,000
- And what about that
right there?
525
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,266
- That's pretty scary.
- Yeah.
526
00:22:23,266 --> 00:22:26,266
CAREN: Police need to understand
527
00:22:26,266 --> 00:22:27,466
people with autism better.
528
00:22:27,466 --> 00:22:28,766
And people with autism
529
00:22:28,766 --> 00:22:32,166
need to understand
the police as well.
530
00:22:32,166 --> 00:22:33,833
- I like how it talks,
that's great.
531
00:22:33,833 --> 00:22:35,933
CAREN: I signed Mickey up
for one of these classes
532
00:22:35,933 --> 00:22:41,266
because I can so easily see him
innocently getting into trouble.
533
00:22:41,266 --> 00:22:43,533
He'd be afraid of something,
he'd run away,
534
00:22:43,533 --> 00:22:46,766
he'd do all the things
that you shouldn't do.
535
00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:48,400
(train honks)
536
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,033
We want Mickey out
in the world on his own,
537
00:22:51,033 --> 00:22:52,166
and he's worked so hard
538
00:22:52,166 --> 00:22:56,333
to learn how to do
so many things.
539
00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:58,633
- Is that policy still a rule
to show my bracelet?
540
00:22:58,633 --> 00:23:00,900
- Yes.
You did great, thank you.
541
00:23:00,900 --> 00:23:03,266
- But what if I'm wearing
a long-sleeved shirt
542
00:23:03,266 --> 00:23:05,033
and it can't be seen?
543
00:23:05,033 --> 00:23:07,166
- Well, I know you, so.
- Yeah.
544
00:23:07,166 --> 00:23:09,300
- I know that a lot of you
are getting ready to graduate
545
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:10,666
from the program.
546
00:23:10,666 --> 00:23:12,900
CAREN: His program in Phoenix is
all about the things
547
00:23:12,900 --> 00:23:15,166
that are still
really challenging for him.
548
00:23:15,166 --> 00:23:16,533
- What else?
549
00:23:16,533 --> 00:23:19,300
- Ability to differentiate
between wants and needs.
550
00:23:19,300 --> 00:23:22,100
- Okay, what's a want?
Give me an example of a want.
551
00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:23,966
- A want: video games.
552
00:23:23,966 --> 00:23:25,200
- Okay, but what's a need?
553
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:26,500
- Your clothes.
- Perfect.
554
00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:28,033
(birds twittering)
555
00:23:28,033 --> 00:23:29,166
(knock on door)
556
00:23:29,166 --> 00:23:30,500
EDDIE: It's Eddie.
557
00:23:30,500 --> 00:23:34,400
CAREN: Mick gets a lot of
teaching and coaching.
558
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,666
- Hello!
- Good morning, sir.
559
00:23:36,666 --> 00:23:39,900
- I'm leaving at 9:30.
- Okay, good.
560
00:23:39,900 --> 00:23:42,033
CAREN: He still has a lot that
he can learn.
561
00:23:42,033 --> 00:23:43,700
- Did you brush your teeth?
- I did.
562
00:23:43,700 --> 00:23:44,733
- Did you put on
your deodorant?
563
00:23:44,733 --> 00:23:45,733
- I did.
- You did?
564
00:23:45,733 --> 00:23:46,933
- Yes.
565
00:23:46,933 --> 00:23:48,033
- What kind of deodorant
do you use again?
566
00:23:48,033 --> 00:23:49,233
- I use Sure.
567
00:23:49,233 --> 00:23:50,700
- Sure? Is it the stick
or the spray?
568
00:23:50,700 --> 00:23:52,833
- A stick.
- Okay. All right, Mickey.
569
00:23:52,833 --> 00:23:54,500
Well, you go out
and conquer today, okay?
570
00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:56,333
CAREN: But if Mick's
really gonna make it out there,
571
00:23:56,333 --> 00:24:00,966
I need to know that
everybody else is
572
00:24:00,966 --> 00:24:04,233
ready to make room for him.
573
00:24:04,233 --> 00:24:08,700
And it's not just Mickey,
it's everybody who's different.
574
00:24:08,700 --> 00:24:12,066
♪ ♪
575
00:24:12,066 --> 00:24:14,233
(cheers and applause)
576
00:24:14,233 --> 00:24:16,833
MAN:
Good morning!
577
00:24:16,833 --> 00:24:18,733
Everybody ready for a
Wing Dang Doodle this year?
578
00:24:18,733 --> 00:24:19,733
KID:
Yeah!
579
00:24:19,733 --> 00:24:21,633
♪ ♪
580
00:24:21,633 --> 00:24:23,066
CAREN: When I first started
to get to know Donald,
581
00:24:23,066 --> 00:24:24,800
I was really surprised at
582
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,666
the way the community
had embraced him,
583
00:24:26,666 --> 00:24:27,800
and understood him,
584
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:31,200
and accepted him,
and protected him.
585
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:34,633
Exactly what I want for Mickey.
586
00:24:34,633 --> 00:24:36,066
Well, hi, Don darling!
587
00:24:36,066 --> 00:24:37,266
- Hey!
588
00:24:37,266 --> 00:24:39,300
- Hey! How are you today?
589
00:24:39,300 --> 00:24:42,666
They didn't even know
that Donald had autism.
590
00:24:42,666 --> 00:24:44,466
They just knew that Donald
was Donald.
591
00:24:44,466 --> 00:24:47,666
SID: I think the mistake
people make when they first
592
00:24:47,666 --> 00:24:49,533
encounter Don is that
593
00:24:49,533 --> 00:24:51,400
there's some impairment
of his intelligence.
594
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,533
That's absolutely not the case.
595
00:24:54,533 --> 00:24:56,600
He's, he's extremely intelligent
596
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,200
and he's perceptive,
597
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,566
he keeps up with the world
around him.
598
00:25:00,566 --> 00:25:04,400
But in conversation,
599
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,866
he's going to come at almost
everything from the side.
600
00:25:07,866 --> 00:25:09,500
CAREN: Do you remember, Don,
601
00:25:09,500 --> 00:25:10,600
what... what your...
602
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:12,600
what your dad was like?
603
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,933
SID: He doesn't discuss
feelings.
604
00:25:15,933 --> 00:25:20,133
- Yeah, that's right,
I remember how tall he was.
605
00:25:20,133 --> 00:25:23,800
He had white hair,
he was about 5'8".
606
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,366
SID: You get short snippets
of very direct,
607
00:25:26,366 --> 00:25:29,266
sometimes brutally honest
answers.
608
00:25:29,266 --> 00:25:30,533
CAREN: What about your mom?
609
00:25:30,533 --> 00:25:31,933
Can you tell me anything about
your mother?
610
00:25:31,933 --> 00:25:36,733
- Uh, uh, she was
two inches shorter.
611
00:25:36,733 --> 00:25:40,266
Donald is...
612
00:25:40,266 --> 00:25:42,700
Is not really chatty.
613
00:25:42,700 --> 00:25:44,033
To carry on a conversation
614
00:25:44,033 --> 00:25:45,800
in complete sentences,
615
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:47,100
he does not do.
616
00:25:47,100 --> 00:25:48,766
He's not gonna chit-chat.
617
00:25:48,766 --> 00:25:51,400
He'll chit-chat, but it's
gonna be a short chit-chat.
618
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:52,866
He loves to be funny.
619
00:25:52,866 --> 00:25:56,600
He'll say, "Hey, Celeste,
620
00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:58,700
I'm gonna shoot you with
a rubber band on Sunday."
621
00:25:58,700 --> 00:26:02,066
(piano playing)
622
00:26:02,066 --> 00:26:04,600
It's usually
not during the service,
623
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:07,266
it's sometimes before
the service or after,
624
00:26:07,266 --> 00:26:12,100
when the preacher
pronounces the benediction.
625
00:26:12,100 --> 00:26:14,166
I'll get a little sting
and I'll know what it is.
626
00:26:14,166 --> 00:26:21,333
(piano playing)
627
00:26:21,333 --> 00:26:24,866
Did you shoot me
with a rubber band?
628
00:26:24,866 --> 00:26:26,666
- Oh, yeah.
629
00:26:26,666 --> 00:26:28,266
I've already shot you.
630
00:26:28,266 --> 00:26:29,466
- I didn't even see you.
631
00:26:29,466 --> 00:26:32,833
It's hard not to love him.
632
00:26:32,833 --> 00:26:35,133
I think it's him, not us.
(laughs)
633
00:26:35,133 --> 00:26:38,500
SID: Once you've been
around him, it's just difficult
634
00:26:38,500 --> 00:26:43,100
to not want to pull for him
and root for him.
635
00:26:43,100 --> 00:26:46,166
And in a community like Forest,
one reaction that Don
636
00:26:46,166 --> 00:26:49,433
evoked from the townspeople,
637
00:26:49,433 --> 00:26:51,400
was, yeah,
Don's got some odd behaviors
638
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,366
and some eccentricities,
639
00:26:53,366 --> 00:26:56,600
but he's our guy,
and we don't want to see
640
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,833
anyone take advantage of him,
641
00:26:58,833 --> 00:27:02,866
or manipulate him,
or harm him in any way.
642
00:27:02,866 --> 00:27:05,966
Donald gave me hope,
643
00:27:05,966 --> 00:27:09,166
but I don't know
that I knew that at the time.
644
00:27:09,166 --> 00:27:12,966
But I was just so drawn to him
and this community.
645
00:27:12,966 --> 00:27:16,533
I want to figure out
how did they get it right,
646
00:27:16,533 --> 00:27:18,766
because they really did
get it right.
647
00:27:18,766 --> 00:27:22,333
As beautifully as
things turned out for Donald,
648
00:27:22,333 --> 00:27:25,333
it wasn't that way
for most people with autism
649
00:27:25,333 --> 00:27:26,833
in those early decades,
650
00:27:26,833 --> 00:27:29,566
when all
the messages about autism
651
00:27:29,566 --> 00:27:32,400
were totally bleak and dark.
652
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:36,033
♪ ♪
653
00:27:36,033 --> 00:27:39,400
NARRATOR:
Children in a shell.
654
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,833
In a glass ball.
655
00:27:42,833 --> 00:27:46,700
Cut off from
the world around them.
656
00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:49,100
CAREN:
It's really heartbreaking,
657
00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:51,566
to think about
how children with autism
658
00:27:51,566 --> 00:27:55,066
were treated back then.
659
00:27:55,066 --> 00:27:58,333
Researchers treated kids
like lab animals.
660
00:27:58,333 --> 00:28:02,133
They were
testing these crazy theories
661
00:28:02,133 --> 00:28:04,000
in not very ethical ways.
662
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,100
They ran LSD
experiments on them.
663
00:28:06,100 --> 00:28:08,800
They wrapped them in cold,
wet sheets.
664
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:14,400
And they tested pain
as a way to focus attention.
665
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:15,866
Then they came up
with this really crazy idea,
666
00:28:15,866 --> 00:28:18,800
the Refrigerator Mother theory.
667
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:22,133
RITA: I was made to believe
that I was one of those mothers,
668
00:28:22,133 --> 00:28:24,900
that I had
caused my child's autism.
669
00:28:24,900 --> 00:28:26,633
CAREN: Did you believe that
it was your fault?
670
00:28:26,633 --> 00:28:27,666
- Oh yeah. I did.
671
00:28:27,666 --> 00:28:30,333
Mm-hmm. Sure.
CAREN: Why?
672
00:28:30,333 --> 00:28:32,033
RITA: When I was in college
I had read
673
00:28:32,033 --> 00:28:34,300
Bruno Bettelheim's book.
674
00:28:34,300 --> 00:28:35,400
♪ ♪
675
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,866
He was the authority
at the time.
676
00:28:37,866 --> 00:28:39,566
ANNOUNCER:
"The Dick Cavett Show!"
677
00:28:39,566 --> 00:28:42,166
My next guest
runs a center or school
678
00:28:42,166 --> 00:28:45,533
for severely disturbed children
at the University of Chicago
679
00:28:45,533 --> 00:28:46,800
and with a degree of success
680
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:48,700
that his colleagues have
considered miraculous.
681
00:28:48,700 --> 00:28:51,800
His work with... particularly
with autistic children.
682
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:54,266
RITA: Bruno Bettelheim's theory
is that
683
00:28:54,266 --> 00:28:56,800
mothers who were cold
and unfeeling
684
00:28:56,800 --> 00:29:01,733
were therefore unable
to bond with their child.
685
00:29:01,733 --> 00:29:04,633
For every child,
in order to survive,
686
00:29:04,633 --> 00:29:06,600
one must have the feeling
that somebody...
687
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,766
you are terribly
important to somebody.
688
00:29:08,766 --> 00:29:10,366
CAVETT: Somebody cares.
689
00:29:10,366 --> 00:29:12,366
That somebody
really cares for you.
690
00:29:12,366 --> 00:29:15,666
This blaming of mothers thing
for autism,
691
00:29:15,666 --> 00:29:18,133
was not some fringe idea,
692
00:29:18,133 --> 00:29:19,633
it was some blip that
came and went.
693
00:29:19,633 --> 00:29:20,800
It was dominant
694
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:22,833
for a long time in psychiatry,
695
00:29:22,833 --> 00:29:26,466
and it had a huge, huge
and damaging impact.
696
00:29:26,466 --> 00:29:29,233
NEWSREEL NARRATOR: Mother is
uncertain of herself,
697
00:29:29,233 --> 00:29:31,666
and unduly anxious to please.
698
00:29:31,666 --> 00:29:35,766
In spite of her gentleness,
mother's determination
699
00:29:35,766 --> 00:29:37,500
to make normal contact
with Margaret,
700
00:29:37,500 --> 00:29:42,066
is apt to drive her further
and further into her autism.
701
00:29:42,066 --> 00:29:43,366
Well it sounds crazy now,
702
00:29:43,366 --> 00:29:45,333
but it was
very much the theory then.
703
00:29:45,333 --> 00:29:47,833
JOHN: So that just goes to what
mothers of autistic children
704
00:29:47,833 --> 00:29:50,766
were being told back then,
which was that they had
705
00:29:50,766 --> 00:29:53,600
to go into therapy themselves
to learn how to love their kids.
706
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:55,600
RITA: I mean
that was the concept that,
707
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,166
you know, that if you could
discover what caused it,
708
00:29:57,166 --> 00:30:00,666
then, you know, maybe you could
learn to relate better
709
00:30:00,666 --> 00:30:02,133
to your child.
710
00:30:02,133 --> 00:30:05,033
JOHN: It was an epic
gaslighting of these mothers
711
00:30:05,033 --> 00:30:06,500
by the psychiatric profession,
712
00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:09,666
and especially Bruno Bettelheim,
because it turns out,
713
00:30:09,666 --> 00:30:11,600
he was no expert.
714
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:13,133
After his death in 1990,
715
00:30:13,133 --> 00:30:15,666
it came out that his doctorate
was not in psychiatry,
716
00:30:15,666 --> 00:30:17,966
or in psychology,
or anything close to that.
717
00:30:17,966 --> 00:30:19,600
It was in art history.
718
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,100
He just had everybody fooled.
719
00:30:22,100 --> 00:30:24,233
RITA: Isn't that something?
720
00:30:24,233 --> 00:30:27,200
Caused an era of women
who blamed themselves
721
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:28,466
for their children.
722
00:30:28,466 --> 00:30:31,533
And, you know,
and I was an educated woman
723
00:30:31,533 --> 00:30:33,366
and I bought
this hook, line, and sinker,
724
00:30:33,366 --> 00:30:35,433
it's amazing.
725
00:30:35,433 --> 00:30:38,900
CAREN: So while many women
got swept up in the craziness
726
00:30:38,900 --> 00:30:40,000
of mother blaming,
727
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,900
there were
others who began to fight
728
00:30:41,900 --> 00:30:44,000
for the rights of
their autistic children.
729
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,533
MOVIE NARRATOR: The outlook for
Shawn Lapin is not good.
730
00:30:46,533 --> 00:30:49,300
With help, and care,
and proper education,
731
00:30:49,300 --> 00:30:52,800
he could recover and grow
into a normal adult.
732
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:54,500
But it's a long shot.
733
00:30:54,500 --> 00:30:56,833
CAREN: I first met the Lapins
in an old documentary
734
00:30:56,833 --> 00:30:58,300
John and I had found.
735
00:30:58,300 --> 00:31:01,433
MOVIE NARRATOR: Take Connie and
Harvey Lapin for example.
736
00:31:01,433 --> 00:31:04,200
They have a seven-year-old
autistic child.
737
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,900
They've been running
since he was born
738
00:31:06,900 --> 00:31:08,033
looking for help for him.
739
00:31:08,033 --> 00:31:09,766
HARVEY:
I think the autistic child
740
00:31:09,766 --> 00:31:12,133
has been the most
excluded child in the country.
741
00:31:12,133 --> 00:31:15,900
CAREN: They told me they could
remember the exact day
742
00:31:15,900 --> 00:31:17,200
they turned into fighters.
743
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:22,466
It was in 1971,
the day they drove their son
744
00:31:22,466 --> 00:31:25,766
to Camarillo State Hospital
to leave him there.
745
00:31:25,766 --> 00:31:28,333
He was three.
746
00:31:28,333 --> 00:31:31,066
It was the same thing
Donald's parents had done
747
00:31:31,066 --> 00:31:33,466
34 years earlier.
748
00:31:33,466 --> 00:31:36,900
Can you believe
we're doing this?
749
00:31:36,900 --> 00:31:39,966
We took a freeway here
that never even existed
750
00:31:39,966 --> 00:31:42,800
how many years ago? 40...?
751
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,266
- When we brought Shawn?
- Yeah.
752
00:31:44,266 --> 00:31:47,600
- 47.
- (chuckling): 47 years ago.
753
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:50,400
(sighs)
- That was the hardest
754
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:54,700
drive I ever took in my life.
755
00:31:54,700 --> 00:31:57,433
The only school for autism,
756
00:31:57,433 --> 00:31:59,966
and it's
Camarillo State Hospital.
757
00:32:02,066 --> 00:32:06,466
CAREN: The hospital's been
converted into a college campus.
758
00:32:06,466 --> 00:32:10,566
But a few of the old psych
wards are still sitting there,
759
00:32:10,566 --> 00:32:12,100
and, and they're empty.
760
00:32:12,100 --> 00:32:13,266
So do you remember the day
761
00:32:13,266 --> 00:32:16,166
when you...
when you drove up here?
762
00:32:16,166 --> 00:32:18,333
The sun was
shining like today.
763
00:32:18,333 --> 00:32:20,700
- We had an appointment.
- We had an appointment,
764
00:32:20,700 --> 00:32:22,133
and I remember
765
00:32:22,133 --> 00:32:26,100
walking in with Shawn,
and Brad, and Harvey.
766
00:32:26,100 --> 00:32:28,633
And we went right
to the children's unit.
767
00:32:28,633 --> 00:32:33,333
And we met the director,
Dr. Rieger.
768
00:32:33,333 --> 00:32:35,233
He took us around,
769
00:32:35,233 --> 00:32:38,000
and then he looked at us,
as a family,
770
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:42,933
and said, "This is
the last place for your child.
771
00:32:42,933 --> 00:32:45,933
Go home and figure it out."
772
00:32:45,933 --> 00:32:50,133
He saw a family that he thought
would be fighters, I think,
773
00:32:50,133 --> 00:32:54,633
a husband and wife,
with resources.
774
00:32:54,633 --> 00:32:56,833
(voice breaking):
I'm glad it looks like (muted).
775
00:33:00,900 --> 00:33:02,900
(exhales)
776
00:33:02,900 --> 00:33:04,700
(voice breaking):
I'm just glad I didn't do it.
777
00:33:04,700 --> 00:33:08,566
♪ ♪
778
00:33:08,566 --> 00:33:10,000
CAREN: What was
the fight that you had?
779
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,666
- The right to get in the door.
780
00:33:12,666 --> 00:33:14,166
- The right to education.
- Get him in school.
781
00:33:14,166 --> 00:33:15,466
- I can't emphasize enough--
782
00:33:15,466 --> 00:33:16,866
- To give him the right
to go to school.
783
00:33:16,866 --> 00:33:19,700
MOVIE NARRATOR: Most schools
won't even accept a child
784
00:33:19,700 --> 00:33:20,866
like Shawn Lapin.
785
00:33:20,866 --> 00:33:22,833
- And now we'll count.
786
00:33:22,833 --> 00:33:28,733
Ready, begin--
one, two, three...
787
00:33:28,733 --> 00:33:30,600
MOVIE NARRATOR: Shawn went
through eight programs
788
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,200
in three years.
789
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,533
For each one of them, his mother
pounded on a dozen doors
790
00:33:34,533 --> 00:33:36,733
and harangued
a score of administrators.
791
00:33:36,733 --> 00:33:38,966
HARVEY: What it came down to,
you weren't...
792
00:33:38,966 --> 00:33:40,200
supposedly you weren't
793
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,766
capable to be educated.
794
00:33:42,766 --> 00:33:44,566
If you have autism you're out.
- Yes.
795
00:33:44,566 --> 00:33:46,100
- "You can't come here.
796
00:33:46,100 --> 00:33:48,200
We don't, we don't deal
with those kind."
797
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:50,300
It's absolutely
astounding to me,
798
00:33:50,300 --> 00:33:54,566
that children with autism
did not have the legal right
799
00:33:54,566 --> 00:33:57,500
to go to school
back in the '60s and '70s.
800
00:33:57,500 --> 00:33:59,766
And if it wasn't for
the parents that got out there
801
00:33:59,766 --> 00:34:01,233
and fought to change that,
802
00:34:01,233 --> 00:34:04,133
you know, someone like my son,
Mickey,
803
00:34:04,133 --> 00:34:05,666
wouldn't have
been able to go to school.
804
00:34:05,666 --> 00:34:07,533
CONNIE:
Shawn became a poster child
805
00:34:07,533 --> 00:34:10,400
to say, "There's
a thing called autism."
806
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:13,633
CAREN: They walked picket lines
and they raised tons of money.
807
00:34:13,633 --> 00:34:15,800
Well, we want money
for research so badly,
808
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:17,100
I can't begin to tell you.
809
00:34:17,100 --> 00:34:19,433
Their lives are passing
in front of them...
810
00:34:19,433 --> 00:34:20,600
CAREN:
And they went to lawmakers.
811
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:21,600
- ...while
they sit on waiting lists.
812
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,000
CAREN:
And it took a long time.
813
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:25,333
But they won.
814
00:34:25,333 --> 00:34:28,233
This year, for the first time,
815
00:34:28,233 --> 00:34:30,000
the state of
California has ordered
816
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:33,466
that public schools
must accept autistic children.
817
00:34:33,466 --> 00:34:36,900
CAREN: Over the years,
they campaigned to get
818
00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:38,733
institutions closed...
819
00:34:38,733 --> 00:34:40,000
- Hold on, you don't want
to fall.
820
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:41,333
CAREN: ...for research funding,
821
00:34:41,333 --> 00:34:44,166
and housing opportunities.
822
00:34:44,166 --> 00:34:46,533
And they're still not done.
823
00:34:46,533 --> 00:34:49,266
They're almost regulars
at the California statehouse,
824
00:34:49,266 --> 00:34:53,400
still fighting for the rights
of people with autism.
825
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:56,266
- I'm here still today,
at my age 78,
826
00:34:56,266 --> 00:35:00,166
because I still have hope,
and I won't stop fighting,
827
00:35:00,166 --> 00:35:02,200
and I'm hopeful that you
will make a safety net
828
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:03,633
that's realistic.
829
00:35:03,633 --> 00:35:06,500
CAREN: And so Shawn,
he lives with his brother Brad,
830
00:35:06,500 --> 00:35:09,233
and some other support staff.
- Hello, Shawn!
831
00:35:09,233 --> 00:35:11,000
CAREN: And that support,
it's expensive.
832
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:15,866
(people cheering)
833
00:35:15,866 --> 00:35:17,066
And they need to know
it'll be there
834
00:35:17,066 --> 00:35:18,633
when they're gone.
835
00:35:18,633 --> 00:35:20,300
That's why they fight.
836
00:35:20,300 --> 00:35:24,300
It's love that keeps them
837
00:35:24,300 --> 00:35:27,000
and so many other
families going.
838
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,333
(people cheering)
839
00:35:28,333 --> 00:35:29,833
You got 'em!
840
00:35:29,833 --> 00:35:31,166
- Whoo! Shawn!
(cheers and applause)
841
00:35:31,166 --> 00:35:33,333
- He got a-- look! Look!
Look! Look!
842
00:35:33,333 --> 00:35:35,100
He got a strike!
843
00:35:35,100 --> 00:35:37,300
(cheers and applause)
844
00:35:37,300 --> 00:35:39,366
♪ ♪
845
00:35:39,366 --> 00:35:41,733
CAREN: Love also helps,
in trying to understand
846
00:35:41,733 --> 00:35:46,466
that complicated question:
what is autism?
847
00:35:46,466 --> 00:35:50,033
What does being autistic mean?
848
00:35:50,033 --> 00:35:52,866
(phone dialing out)
849
00:35:52,866 --> 00:35:54,600
Hi, I can't wait to see you!
850
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:57,133
MICKEY (on phone):
I hope Molly can come.
851
00:35:57,133 --> 00:35:58,600
CAREN: Molly is gonna come.
852
00:35:58,600 --> 00:35:59,766
MICKEY: I love you.
853
00:35:59,766 --> 00:36:01,366
CAREN: I love you too.
854
00:36:01,366 --> 00:36:02,800
MOLLY: Hi!
- Hello, Molly.
855
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:04,000
- Come give me a hug.
856
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,466
CAREN: Molly is the love
of Mickey's life.
857
00:36:05,466 --> 00:36:07,500
- Hi!
- Hello.
858
00:36:07,500 --> 00:36:09,000
- How are you?
- I'm fine.
859
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,500
- What's up?
- I'm having a good time.
860
00:36:11,500 --> 00:36:14,433
CAREN: They have this
extraordinarily
861
00:36:14,433 --> 00:36:16,600
beautiful relationship.
862
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:19,366
And she gets how Mickey has
his own way of thinking.
863
00:36:19,366 --> 00:36:21,466
- Wait, can you show me
your apartment?
864
00:36:21,466 --> 00:36:23,000
- Yes.
865
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:27,300
- Oh... my God!
866
00:36:27,300 --> 00:36:29,533
(laughs)
867
00:36:29,533 --> 00:36:31,466
That's a lot of stuffed animals.
- Yes.
868
00:36:31,466 --> 00:36:32,600
- Do you have your keys?
- Yes.
869
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,200
- Or is it open?
- It's open.
870
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:35,700
- (laughing): Oh my God!
871
00:36:35,700 --> 00:36:37,700
Did you get more than last time?
872
00:36:37,700 --> 00:36:41,266
- I'm trying to find
the animal I named after you.
873
00:36:41,266 --> 00:36:44,800
This is the one
I named after you, Molly.
874
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:46,566
- That's so cute,
what kind is it?
875
00:36:46,566 --> 00:36:47,633
- It's a cat.
876
00:36:47,633 --> 00:36:49,466
- How do you sleep here?
877
00:36:49,466 --> 00:36:52,966
- I love it. Joy joy.
878
00:36:52,966 --> 00:36:55,600
- Wait, how did you
even collect all these?
879
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:56,866
Do you buy these yourself?
880
00:36:56,866 --> 00:36:58,500
- Yes with joy joy.
881
00:36:58,500 --> 00:37:02,266
- With what money?
- My own.
882
00:37:02,266 --> 00:37:03,800
Safe to pet?
883
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:05,133
- (laughs)
884
00:37:05,133 --> 00:37:06,433
What is this?
- Koala.
885
00:37:06,433 --> 00:37:08,233
♪ ♪
886
00:37:08,233 --> 00:37:10,166
CAREN:
Now about these animals,
887
00:37:10,166 --> 00:37:12,800
they all belong to a system.
888
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:14,800
In Mickey's mind that is.
889
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,733
Mickey gives
each animal a number.
890
00:37:17,733 --> 00:37:19,333
Like this one is number seven.
891
00:37:19,333 --> 00:37:22,300
Which he then connects
with the periodic table,
892
00:37:22,300 --> 00:37:25,033
where the seventh element
is nitrogen.
893
00:37:25,033 --> 00:37:29,166
But seven is also a number
he assigns to his sister, Molly.
894
00:37:29,166 --> 00:37:33,200
And Molly also gets a song
to go with her name and number,
895
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,633
"Old MacDonald."
896
00:37:35,633 --> 00:37:39,300
Or this animal,
he's given it the number 46.
897
00:37:39,300 --> 00:37:41,733
Element on the table, palladium.
898
00:37:41,733 --> 00:37:44,666
Person with the number,
Liz, his friend.
899
00:37:44,666 --> 00:37:47,533
And she gets
an Irish ballad for her song,
900
00:37:47,533 --> 00:37:51,033
"Star of the County Down."
901
00:37:51,033 --> 00:37:52,600
And on it goes,
902
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:57,266
animal, number,
element, person, song.
903
00:37:57,266 --> 00:38:02,700
Animal, number, element,
person, song.
904
00:38:02,700 --> 00:38:05,033
He's got
thousands of these connections
905
00:38:05,033 --> 00:38:06,766
going on in his head,
906
00:38:06,766 --> 00:38:10,466
and they're all organized,
all the time.
907
00:38:10,466 --> 00:38:15,600
And maybe nobody else gets it,
but he does.
908
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:19,133
Autism is a little different.
909
00:38:19,133 --> 00:38:24,566
Your brain works a lot
differently than most people.
910
00:38:24,566 --> 00:38:25,900
We don't like change.
911
00:38:25,900 --> 00:38:27,433
We don't like the unexpected.
912
00:38:27,433 --> 00:38:30,200
It's not always easy
913
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,700
for me to
relate to other people.
914
00:38:32,700 --> 00:38:35,566
You have to
learn things intellectually
915
00:38:35,566 --> 00:38:37,100
that other
people know intuitively.
916
00:38:37,100 --> 00:38:41,333
When a layperson asks me, um,
917
00:38:41,333 --> 00:38:43,333
"What is autism?"
like my response is
918
00:38:43,333 --> 00:38:46,866
it's a developmental disorder
that impacts communication
919
00:38:46,866 --> 00:38:48,733
and social skills.
920
00:38:48,733 --> 00:38:50,533
Obviously there's more to it
than that.
921
00:38:50,533 --> 00:38:53,300
When I'm asked
to go a little further,
922
00:38:53,300 --> 00:38:58,300
and I say well, for example,
people on the spectrum
923
00:38:58,300 --> 00:39:01,233
tend to be very concrete.
924
00:39:01,233 --> 00:39:04,833
So if you use subjective
language, if you use metaphor,
925
00:39:04,833 --> 00:39:06,366
if you use simile,
926
00:39:06,366 --> 00:39:09,733
they may not really understand
what you're trying to say.
927
00:39:09,733 --> 00:39:11,500
- Tell them about the episode
928
00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:13,800
where our mother
929
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:15,633
suggested it to you that drink
930
00:39:15,633 --> 00:39:17,566
six glasses of water a day.
931
00:39:17,566 --> 00:39:18,833
You remember that?
932
00:39:18,833 --> 00:39:21,500
DONALD: Yes I remember that.
933
00:39:21,500 --> 00:39:23,933
OLIVER: Well, what did you do?
934
00:39:23,933 --> 00:39:26,800
I got six glasses,
and lined them up
935
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:28,200
and filled them with water,
936
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,333
and I drank one by one,
each one of them.
937
00:39:31,333 --> 00:39:34,333
- Mother came in there and said,
"Don, what are you doing?"
938
00:39:34,333 --> 00:39:36,466
And Don's response to her was,
939
00:39:36,466 --> 00:39:38,266
"Well, you told me
to drink six glasses
940
00:39:38,266 --> 00:39:41,433
(laughing): of water a day,
that's what I'm doing."
941
00:39:41,433 --> 00:39:42,733
- Ah, right.
942
00:39:42,733 --> 00:39:47,533
I was diagnosed in my early 40s
as an adult,
943
00:39:47,533 --> 00:39:50,466
and I was diagnosed
with Asperger's syndrome.
944
00:39:50,466 --> 00:39:53,066
Can I take a picture of you
on that stump over there?
945
00:39:53,066 --> 00:39:54,466
VALERIE: The core
characteristics
946
00:39:54,466 --> 00:40:00,533
of autism include social
and communication differences.
947
00:40:00,533 --> 00:40:02,100
- All right, put your arms out.
948
00:40:02,100 --> 00:40:03,633
VALERIE: As well as what we call
949
00:40:03,633 --> 00:40:07,600
in the diagnostic literature
950
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:09,566
repeated
and restricted interests.
951
00:40:09,566 --> 00:40:13,466
- Question: when we were
talking about autism
952
00:40:13,466 --> 00:40:15,300
and then you were
talking about Julia,
953
00:40:15,300 --> 00:40:19,066
from "Sesame Street," can you
tell me a little bit about her?
954
00:40:19,066 --> 00:40:21,833
- She was the first character
to have autism.
955
00:40:21,833 --> 00:40:23,500
- On "Sesame Street"?
- Yes.
956
00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:25,300
May I see
your painting, Julia?
957
00:40:25,300 --> 00:40:28,666
Um... Julia?
958
00:40:28,666 --> 00:40:32,133
- Sometimes it takes Julia
a while to answer.
959
00:40:32,133 --> 00:40:34,733
It helps to ask again.
960
00:40:34,733 --> 00:40:36,200
Uh, Julia?
- Hm?
961
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:37,666
- Can Big Bird see
your painting?
962
00:40:37,666 --> 00:40:39,800
- See your painting? Yes.
963
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:45,033
- Do you see any similarities
between you and Julia?
964
00:40:45,033 --> 00:40:48,033
- Because we both have
a similar way...
965
00:40:48,033 --> 00:40:50,500
- Of what?
- Of, of communicating.
966
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,400
- How many languages
can you say the word cat in?
967
00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:58,700
- In Russian, koshka.
968
00:40:58,700 --> 00:41:00,500
- Spanish?
- Gato.
969
00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:02,500
It's the same in Italian
as well.
970
00:41:02,500 --> 00:41:04,033
VALERIE: I like to call
971
00:41:04,033 --> 00:41:06,166
repeated
and restricted interests,
972
00:41:06,166 --> 00:41:10,133
deep and focused interests.
(chuckles)
973
00:41:10,133 --> 00:41:14,033
Um, and I like that because
that it describes my experience
974
00:41:14,033 --> 00:41:15,466
and the experience of others
975
00:41:15,466 --> 00:41:18,200
in a less clinical way.
976
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:20,033
- Gato, that's Portuguese.
977
00:41:20,033 --> 00:41:22,233
- We have seven
names we can say cats in?
978
00:41:22,233 --> 00:41:23,400
- Yes.
979
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:26,666
♪ ♪
980
00:41:26,666 --> 00:41:29,200
(marching band playing)
981
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:30,800
JOHN: When Caren and I were
trying to figure out
982
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,500
why Forest was
so accepting of Donald
983
00:41:33,500 --> 00:41:35,800
in an era when acceptance
like that was so rare,
984
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:38,400
you know, and kids like him, you
know, didn't get to go school,
985
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:41,800
we found
a really important fact--
986
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:43,000
he did get to go to school,
987
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,700
in this
little town in Mississippi
988
00:41:44,700 --> 00:41:46,300
And, in fact,
that's where this whole
989
00:41:46,300 --> 00:41:48,933
generation of people
in his community,
990
00:41:48,933 --> 00:41:50,733
first got to know him.
991
00:41:50,733 --> 00:41:52,666
JOBYNA: I've known Don
992
00:41:52,666 --> 00:41:56,966
since he was... six years old.
993
00:41:56,966 --> 00:42:00,733
My first memories would
start in the second grade.
994
00:42:00,733 --> 00:42:02,933
JOHN: And we learned that
it was his mother,
995
00:42:02,933 --> 00:42:04,800
Mary Triplett, who got him in.
996
00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:06,933
She reached out
personally to the principal
997
00:42:06,933 --> 00:42:08,966
of the local elementary school.
998
00:42:08,966 --> 00:42:11,533
- I would bet that they could,
you know, probably hear
999
00:42:11,533 --> 00:42:13,666
the desperation in her voice
1000
00:42:13,666 --> 00:42:16,333
and realized that, you know,
1001
00:42:16,333 --> 00:42:18,733
she, she really wanted this
to happen.
1002
00:42:18,733 --> 00:42:24,133
JOHN: She more or less insisted
that they take her son there.
1003
00:42:24,133 --> 00:42:27,400
And what that at least
partly reflects, we think,
1004
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:29,700
is the clout
that the family Triplett
1005
00:42:29,700 --> 00:42:31,266
had in the small town of Forest.
1006
00:42:31,266 --> 00:42:34,466
Because they stood at the top
of the social hierarchy there.
1007
00:42:34,466 --> 00:42:36,700
SID: Don's father was one
1008
00:42:36,700 --> 00:42:39,633
of the pillars of the community.
1009
00:42:39,633 --> 00:42:41,833
The other thing is
his family had resources.
1010
00:42:41,833 --> 00:42:42,966
- Yeah.
1011
00:42:42,966 --> 00:42:44,700
- You know, they could--
- Good resources.
1012
00:42:44,700 --> 00:42:48,033
CAREN: So as I learned more
about Donald's happy life,
1013
00:42:48,033 --> 00:42:49,533
I began to see that
1014
00:42:49,533 --> 00:42:53,633
his story had a lot to do
with who his family was,
1015
00:42:53,633 --> 00:42:56,533
and that they had money,
and influence.
1016
00:42:58,533 --> 00:43:01,233
But, the reality is,
1017
00:43:01,233 --> 00:43:05,600
so many families will never
have those advantages.
1018
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:08,933
JASON: I think my story is just
the average story.
1019
00:43:08,933 --> 00:43:11,400
You know, a single parent
raising a kid.
1020
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:13,266
You know,
I just happen to be a man,
1021
00:43:13,266 --> 00:43:16,133
a single daddy raising his son
who happens to be autistic.
1022
00:43:16,133 --> 00:43:19,500
You know, it was just...
he was in a bad situation,
1023
00:43:19,500 --> 00:43:20,800
you know, when he...
1024
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:22,966
Before I got custody of him
at 18 months old.
1025
00:43:22,966 --> 00:43:25,266
Wasn't being taken care
of properly, that kind of stuff.
1026
00:43:25,266 --> 00:43:28,433
Mom was on drugs, all that.
1027
00:43:28,433 --> 00:43:29,666
What's up?
1028
00:43:29,666 --> 00:43:31,000
- What's up.
1029
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:34,566
- You waiting on the van?
- Yes.
1030
00:43:34,566 --> 00:43:36,666
- You going to school?
- Yes.
1031
00:43:36,666 --> 00:43:38,633
- Gonna have fun?
- Yes.
1032
00:43:38,633 --> 00:43:39,933
- When I say severely autistic,
1033
00:43:39,933 --> 00:43:43,833
I mean my son requires
around-the-clock care
1034
00:43:43,833 --> 00:43:47,600
because most things he can't be
left to do on his own,
1035
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:50,466
because if he is,
it ain't going to get done.
1036
00:43:50,466 --> 00:43:52,133
I have to wash him up
in the bathtub,
1037
00:43:52,133 --> 00:43:54,400
because if I try to
leave him alone to do it,
1038
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:56,733
he won't do it,
and he's also epileptic,
1039
00:43:56,733 --> 00:43:58,433
so he can't be
left alone in the bathtub.
1040
00:43:58,433 --> 00:44:00,566
- Have... have a good day.
1041
00:44:00,566 --> 00:44:02,066
- All right. See you.
1042
00:44:02,066 --> 00:44:03,833
- See ya!
1043
00:44:03,833 --> 00:44:06,600
Even going to the bathroom,
I have to be there.
1044
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:08,666
I have to guide him
through going to the bathroom,
1045
00:44:08,666 --> 00:44:10,000
even though
he knows how to do it.
1046
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,433
If I don't go with him,
he won't go.
1047
00:44:12,433 --> 00:44:15,500
Or he'll go on the floor,
or he'll go in the sink,
1048
00:44:15,500 --> 00:44:16,833
or he'll wipe it
all over the bathroom,
1049
00:44:16,833 --> 00:44:18,266
or something like that.
1050
00:44:18,266 --> 00:44:22,400
CAREN: Do you get any kind of
support from anybody?
1051
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:25,400
- Not really. Not really,
it's just, it's just me.
1052
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:28,066
CAREN: I know you've
told me that you're not working.
1053
00:44:28,066 --> 00:44:29,766
JASON: I was a painter,
1054
00:44:29,766 --> 00:44:31,500
I was painting
the different apartments,
1055
00:44:31,500 --> 00:44:32,800
like when people move out,
1056
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:34,266
I would go in,
clean the apartment,
1057
00:44:34,266 --> 00:44:36,900
paint it, get it ready
for the next tenants.
1058
00:44:36,900 --> 00:44:39,533
But when my son started
having seizures, that meant
1059
00:44:39,533 --> 00:44:42,066
me not showing up for work
for two days.
1060
00:44:42,066 --> 00:44:43,800
So I lost the painting job.
1061
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:48,366
Then I got a job cleaning
offices down the street.
1062
00:44:48,366 --> 00:44:49,833
But then I couldn't even do that
1063
00:44:49,833 --> 00:44:52,900
(chuckling): because I kept
getting calls from school.
1064
00:44:52,900 --> 00:44:55,200
He's hitting the staff,
or he's scratching the staff.
1065
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:57,433
He's drawing blood,
you have to come get him,
1066
00:44:57,433 --> 00:44:58,433
he's a danger.
1067
00:44:58,433 --> 00:45:01,233
Come on.
- (indistinct)
1068
00:45:01,233 --> 00:45:03,066
CAREN: Sheamus is one of those
kids that has
1069
00:45:03,066 --> 00:45:06,700
the kind of autism that the
public rarely gets to see.
1070
00:45:06,700 --> 00:45:10,133
And that really isolates
families,
1071
00:45:10,133 --> 00:45:12,800
especially families that don't
have money and support.
1072
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:15,233
- Wanna meet somebody?
- Yeah.
1073
00:45:15,233 --> 00:45:17,333
- Okay, that's Caren.
Wanna say hi?
1074
00:45:17,333 --> 00:45:18,733
- Hi.
- Hello!
1075
00:45:18,733 --> 00:45:20,033
(Jason chuckles)
Hi Caren.
1076
00:45:20,033 --> 00:45:21,466
- Hi!
- Hello.
1077
00:45:21,466 --> 00:45:23,900
- Come on.
1078
00:45:27,033 --> 00:45:28,233
- Hello!
1079
00:45:28,233 --> 00:45:30,266
(Jason laughs)
1080
00:45:30,266 --> 00:45:31,600
- Can I shake your hand?
1081
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:32,600
- Yeah.
1082
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:35,066
- Nice to meet you.
1083
00:45:35,066 --> 00:45:37,000
- Oh!
1084
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,666
CAREN: I learned about him
because his dad found his way
1085
00:45:39,666 --> 00:45:41,466
around the isolation part.
1086
00:45:41,466 --> 00:45:43,833
He tweets, all the time,
1087
00:45:43,833 --> 00:45:45,933
about his life with Sheamus.
1088
00:45:45,933 --> 00:45:47,633
JASON: I went to Twitter,
and I said,
1089
00:45:47,633 --> 00:45:49,400
"Well, this is gonna be where
1090
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:51,833
"I'm gonna speak how
I wanna speak about autism.
1091
00:45:51,833 --> 00:45:54,533
"I am gonna tell what my son
does every day.
1092
00:45:54,533 --> 00:45:56,500
I'm gonna tell what I do
every day."
1093
00:45:56,500 --> 00:45:58,600
And if people don't like it,
1094
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:00,500
they can unfollow
or leave me alone.
1095
00:46:00,500 --> 00:46:02,466
Don't gotta be bothered.
1096
00:46:02,466 --> 00:46:04,700
You know, I'm gonna name it
Autism Hood,
1097
00:46:04,700 --> 00:46:07,033
'cause it's a hood of autism,
where people can come,
1098
00:46:07,033 --> 00:46:09,000
congregate, talk about things,
1099
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:12,900
complain about things,
cry about things,
1100
00:46:12,900 --> 00:46:15,400
rejoice about things.
1101
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:19,000
And if you're having a bad day,
we can have bad days together,
1102
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,733
or we're having good days
together, we can do that.
1103
00:46:21,733 --> 00:46:25,466
Talk about our kids,
anything, you know?
1104
00:46:25,466 --> 00:46:27,833
Just keep it positive,
pretty much.
1105
00:46:27,833 --> 00:46:30,033
Like if my son woke up
one morning,
1106
00:46:30,033 --> 00:46:32,633
and decided to just
run through the house naked
1107
00:46:32,633 --> 00:46:34,166
until it was time to go
to school,
1108
00:46:34,166 --> 00:46:35,600
(chuckling):
then I would tweet that out,
1109
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:36,666
because that's what actually
happened.
1110
00:46:36,666 --> 00:46:38,500
But then somewhere
in Twitter-land,
1111
00:46:38,500 --> 00:46:41,100
it happens somewhere else,
and they read it,
1112
00:46:41,100 --> 00:46:43,033
and they were like, "Oh my God,
the same thing happened,
1113
00:46:43,033 --> 00:46:44,166
"thank you for writing that,
1114
00:46:44,166 --> 00:46:45,166
"'cause I didn't wanna
write that."
1115
00:46:45,166 --> 00:46:47,200
(clippers buzzing)
1116
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:49,466
I think the biggest thing
that social media does
1117
00:46:49,466 --> 00:46:50,900
for special needs parents is
1118
00:46:50,900 --> 00:46:54,033
makes them feel like
they're not alone,
1119
00:46:54,033 --> 00:46:55,600
you're not isolated.
1120
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:57,933
That's how you cut hair.
(chuckles)
1121
00:46:57,933 --> 00:47:00,433
How you like it, Bo?
- Good.
1122
00:47:00,433 --> 00:47:01,933
JASON (voiceover):
Well, if I'm not here
1123
00:47:01,933 --> 00:47:04,100
to do this constant assistance
and help,
1124
00:47:04,100 --> 00:47:06,066
then who is gonna be here
to do that?
1125
00:47:06,066 --> 00:47:08,300
I think if I'm not here
to do it,
1126
00:47:08,300 --> 00:47:11,600
he's just not gonna get it.
1127
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:13,466
Nobody's gonna do what I do.
1128
00:47:13,466 --> 00:47:15,333
And I honestly believe that.
1129
00:47:15,333 --> 00:47:17,200
Nobody in my life that I know
1130
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:20,933
is gonna take over,
and do every single thing
1131
00:47:20,933 --> 00:47:24,000
the way I do it,
every single day.
1132
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:25,700
They're just not,
'cause they're not
1133
00:47:25,700 --> 00:47:27,700
invested in my son like I am.
1134
00:47:27,700 --> 00:47:30,566
And that's the reality of it,
you know?
1135
00:47:30,566 --> 00:47:32,866
If I was to suddenly
pass away, I'm pretty sure
1136
00:47:32,866 --> 00:47:34,400
he wouldn't understand
what happened.
1137
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:35,833
CAREN: So you just can't die?
1138
00:47:35,833 --> 00:47:38,333
Right. Right. Just gotta
be immortal, you know.
1139
00:47:38,333 --> 00:47:40,366
Gotta get some robot parts
and all that kind of stuff.
1140
00:47:40,366 --> 00:47:41,966
Ready to say bye?
1141
00:47:41,966 --> 00:47:42,966
- Bye!
1142
00:47:42,966 --> 00:47:44,966
- Say bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.
1143
00:47:44,966 --> 00:47:46,600
(phone dialing out)
1144
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:48,000
CAREN: Mickster!
MICKEY (on phone): Meow!
1145
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:49,233
CAREN: How are you, baby?
1146
00:47:49,233 --> 00:47:51,666
Do you know what cats like
to wish me?
1147
00:47:51,666 --> 00:47:53,800
A meowie Christmas.
1148
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:57,300
CAREN: Mickey
is totally into cats.
1149
00:47:57,300 --> 00:47:58,533
- Meow.
1150
00:47:58,533 --> 00:47:59,833
CAREN: He meows a lot.
1151
00:47:59,833 --> 00:48:03,033
- Meow meow
meow meow meow meow meow.
1152
00:48:03,033 --> 00:48:04,966
And he purrs a lot,
1153
00:48:04,966 --> 00:48:06,966
and he'll tell
you that he's purrfect.
1154
00:48:06,966 --> 00:48:08,966
How do you say cat in Dutch?
1155
00:48:08,966 --> 00:48:11,766
How do you say cat in Castilian?
1156
00:48:11,766 --> 00:48:14,266
How do you say cat in Swedish?
1157
00:48:14,266 --> 00:48:17,166
SIRI: I can't translate
into Swedish yet.
1158
00:48:17,166 --> 00:48:18,700
I wanted Mickey to have a kitten
1159
00:48:18,700 --> 00:48:20,533
'cause I felt that
he was lonely.
1160
00:48:20,533 --> 00:48:24,400
- ♪ Here kitty, kitty, kitty ♪
1161
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:26,233
CAREN: Mickey and I talked about
getting a kitten
1162
00:48:26,233 --> 00:48:28,200
for probably almost a year.
1163
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:31,066
(on phone): How are you feeling
about the cat kitten thing?
1164
00:48:31,066 --> 00:48:33,800
- I'm feeling fine, right meow.
1165
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:36,866
(cat meows)
1166
00:48:36,866 --> 00:48:41,166
KEN: If you decide that
you do want to adopt,
1167
00:48:41,166 --> 00:48:43,866
you almost have to get to
a point where you hold them,
1168
00:48:43,866 --> 00:48:45,566
because they'll come to you
for...
1169
00:48:45,566 --> 00:48:47,933
- I'd rather pet them
and not adopt them.
1170
00:48:47,933 --> 00:48:49,966
- That's okay.
That's perfectly fine.
1171
00:48:49,966 --> 00:48:51,900
CAREN (on phone): How are you
feeling about getting a cat?
1172
00:48:51,900 --> 00:48:53,400
- A little bit nervous.
1173
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:55,033
CAREN: A little bit nervous?
1174
00:48:55,033 --> 00:48:56,433
Do you not wanna get one?
1175
00:48:56,433 --> 00:48:59,800
- I don't know... I don't know
if I wanna get one.
1176
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:00,966
CAREN: All right. You know,
you don't have to get one
1177
00:49:00,966 --> 00:49:02,366
if you don't want one.
- Okay.
1178
00:49:02,366 --> 00:49:04,600
CAREN: But I really thought
1179
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:07,566
it might be something that
made him happy.
1180
00:49:07,566 --> 00:49:10,933
So as part of the transition
program that Mickey was in,
1181
00:49:10,933 --> 00:49:13,000
a whole bunch
of students and Mickey
1182
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:14,033
went to this animal shelter,
1183
00:49:14,033 --> 00:49:17,500
to feed these preemie kittens
1184
00:49:17,500 --> 00:49:19,000
and to play with kittens,
1185
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:20,533
and I thought this was like
sort of the perfect opportunity.
1186
00:49:20,533 --> 00:49:22,833
- ♪ Here kitty, kitty, kitty. ♪
1187
00:49:22,833 --> 00:49:24,300
(fake cough)
1188
00:49:24,300 --> 00:49:25,900
I'm allergic to kittens.
1189
00:49:25,900 --> 00:49:27,733
CAREN: I'm trying to get Mickey
to hold the kittens,
1190
00:49:27,733 --> 00:49:29,933
and like telling him
how cute they are,
1191
00:49:29,933 --> 00:49:32,366
and you could see Mickey's face.
1192
00:49:32,366 --> 00:49:33,933
It's like a stuffed animal.
1193
00:49:33,933 --> 00:49:35,500
Do you wanna bottle feed it?
1194
00:49:35,500 --> 00:49:38,000
- I'm allergic to this cat.
1195
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:43,000
CAREN: And I go to give Mickey
a kitten, and I know this is it.
1196
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:44,900
Sit down. Just sit down.
1197
00:49:44,900 --> 00:49:47,066
- I'm a little bit nervous.
- I know.
1198
00:49:47,066 --> 00:49:49,033
Just sit down right here.
1199
00:49:49,033 --> 00:49:51,500
- Don't give the cat to me.
- I'm not giving the cat to you.
1200
00:49:51,500 --> 00:49:52,933
And he looks at me
and he says...
1201
00:49:52,933 --> 00:49:55,566
- I think baby kittens
are disgusting.
1202
00:49:55,566 --> 00:49:56,833
- Mickey!
1203
00:49:56,833 --> 00:49:58,366
And that was it.
1204
00:49:58,366 --> 00:50:00,333
No more kitten.
1205
00:50:00,333 --> 00:50:02,366
I think he's probably
afraid of the kittens.
1206
00:50:02,366 --> 00:50:04,266
- I don't know what
that kitty's name is.
1207
00:50:04,266 --> 00:50:06,866
CAREN: Animals kind of scare him
because they're unpredictable.
1208
00:50:06,866 --> 00:50:09,533
And people with autism
like predictability.
1209
00:50:09,533 --> 00:50:11,533
So it would make sense
that he would like
1210
00:50:11,533 --> 00:50:14,166
a stuffed animal that he knows
exactly what it's gonna do
1211
00:50:14,166 --> 00:50:15,733
and when it's gonna do it,
which is nothing,
1212
00:50:15,733 --> 00:50:17,333
to a real animal.
1213
00:50:17,333 --> 00:50:20,633
I love these animals,
they're my friends,
1214
00:50:20,633 --> 00:50:22,866
my stuffed animal friends.
1215
00:50:22,866 --> 00:50:25,566
I just felt badly for him.
1216
00:50:25,566 --> 00:50:27,266
That's all.
1217
00:50:28,566 --> 00:50:31,766
Because I can't give him
someone to snuggle,
1218
00:50:31,766 --> 00:50:34,200
to be his companion.
1219
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:37,533
It was never about him
wanting to own a cat.
1220
00:50:37,533 --> 00:50:39,266
- I'm excited.
1221
00:50:39,266 --> 00:50:40,500
Mama pull her tail.
1222
00:50:40,500 --> 00:50:41,933
(laughs)
1223
00:50:41,933 --> 00:50:43,400
CAREN: I don't pull tails.
1224
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:45,266
- We went through this,
this morning, Mickey.
1225
00:50:45,266 --> 00:50:46,900
Does she pull tails?
1226
00:50:46,900 --> 00:50:48,833
- Tails are not for pulling.
(all laugh)
1227
00:50:48,833 --> 00:50:52,266
CAREN: Mickey discovered a way
he could relate to people.
1228
00:50:52,266 --> 00:50:53,966
("Meow Mix Jingle" playing on
cell phone)
1229
00:50:53,966 --> 00:50:56,500
(chuckling)
1230
00:50:56,500 --> 00:50:58,066
CAREN: For someone like Mickey,
1231
00:50:58,066 --> 00:51:00,566
who has a hard time
connecting to people,
1232
00:51:00,566 --> 00:51:04,100
his cat patter,
it's, it's his way in.
1233
00:51:04,100 --> 00:51:05,733
- (on phone): ...out the window,
meow, meow, meow, meow, meow
1234
00:51:05,733 --> 00:51:06,800
meow, meow, meow.
1235
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:10,400
♪ ♪
1236
00:51:11,366 --> 00:51:16,233
JOBYNA: I think in certain
areas, he's a genius.
1237
00:51:16,233 --> 00:51:18,266
You could give him...
1238
00:51:18,266 --> 00:51:20,300
complicated numbers,
1239
00:51:20,300 --> 00:51:25,900
you know, like
317 plus 109 and 10,
1240
00:51:25,900 --> 00:51:28,366
all of that,
like a list of three,
1241
00:51:28,366 --> 00:51:29,966
and he'd sit there
a few minutes,
1242
00:51:29,966 --> 00:51:32,133
(clicks tongue)
give you that number.
1243
00:51:32,133 --> 00:51:33,300
- He could multiply them.
1244
00:51:33,300 --> 00:51:35,900
Four-digit numbers...
- Yeah.
1245
00:51:35,900 --> 00:51:37,400
- By four-digit numbers.
1246
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:39,666
You remember the movie
"Rain Man"?
1247
00:51:39,666 --> 00:51:41,133
And, and the toothpicks?
1248
00:51:42,300 --> 00:51:43,400
(clattering)
1249
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:45,400
- Can I have the check?
1250
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:46,733
Sorry about the toothpicks.
1251
00:51:46,733 --> 00:51:48,233
- 82, 82,
1252
00:51:48,233 --> 00:51:49,233
82.
1253
00:51:49,233 --> 00:51:50,600
It's a lot more than
1254
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:51,600
82 toothpicks, Ray.
1255
00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:53,000
But...
1256
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:55,166
246 total.
- Change.
1257
00:51:55,166 --> 00:51:56,933
(clicks tongue)
1258
00:51:56,933 --> 00:51:58,300
How many
toothpicks are there?
1259
00:51:58,300 --> 00:51:59,500
- Um... 250.
1260
00:51:59,500 --> 00:52:00,800
- Pretty close.
1261
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:02,200
Come on, let's go, Ray.
1262
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:04,300
- 246.
1263
00:52:05,633 --> 00:52:07,200
- There's four left in the box.
1264
00:52:08,700 --> 00:52:10,133
- (distantly): I have to
get my backpack...
1265
00:52:10,133 --> 00:52:12,333
When I saw that movie,
I thought, "Gosh,
1266
00:52:12,333 --> 00:52:15,033
that's Donald Gray, up one side
and down the other."
1267
00:52:15,033 --> 00:52:18,466
CAREN: You know, the first time
I saw the movie "Rain Man,"
1268
00:52:18,466 --> 00:52:20,533
Mickey hadn't even been born.
1269
00:52:20,533 --> 00:52:23,833
I didn't know
anything about autism.
1270
00:52:23,833 --> 00:52:25,800
I just knew that this film
was a stunning look
1271
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,200
inside the mind of
someone with autism.
1272
00:52:30,533 --> 00:52:32,200
I had no idea that portrayal
1273
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:35,700
would lead to misconceptions
about autistic people,
1274
00:52:35,700 --> 00:52:38,500
especially that toothpick scene.
1275
00:52:38,500 --> 00:52:40,566
What happens in that scene
1276
00:52:40,566 --> 00:52:42,900
is not typical of
most people with autism,
1277
00:52:42,900 --> 00:52:45,966
but because there were
no other characters
1278
00:52:45,966 --> 00:52:47,033
portrayed by Hollywood
1279
00:52:47,033 --> 00:52:49,100
or television around that time,
1280
00:52:49,100 --> 00:52:51,433
other than Raymond
and his toothpick counting,
1281
00:52:51,433 --> 00:52:53,166
that's what
a lot of people assumed
1282
00:52:53,166 --> 00:52:54,800
autism looked like
in everybody.
1283
00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:55,966
Of course I'm an excellent
driver.
1284
00:52:55,966 --> 00:52:57,533
JOHN (voiceover):
And also that
1285
00:52:57,533 --> 00:52:59,266
people with autism,
like Raymond in the movie,
1286
00:52:59,266 --> 00:53:02,100
were not capable of
living independent lives.
1287
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:05,733
But that's no longer
the way autism is seen today,
1288
00:53:05,733 --> 00:53:09,066
because the definition
has changed
1289
00:53:09,066 --> 00:53:10,133
so much since then.
1290
00:53:10,133 --> 00:53:12,033
It's become broader,
1291
00:53:12,033 --> 00:53:14,766
and we have
the autism spectrum.
1292
00:53:14,766 --> 00:53:16,066
We have a lot of people
getting diagnosed today
1293
00:53:16,066 --> 00:53:17,866
who would not have
in the past,
1294
00:53:17,866 --> 00:53:21,833
and that includes people who
are getting diagnosed as adults.
1295
00:53:21,833 --> 00:53:23,866
ROBISON:
I was 40
1296
00:53:23,866 --> 00:53:28,800
when I learned about this
autism thing.
1297
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:31,200
And at first I was shocked,
1298
00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:33,400
because I-- all I knew of
autistic people was
1299
00:53:33,400 --> 00:53:34,733
they, they didn't talk.
1300
00:53:34,733 --> 00:53:36,600
CAREN:
I've known John Robison
1301
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:37,666
for a really long time,
1302
00:53:37,666 --> 00:53:39,066
and we're friends.
1303
00:53:39,066 --> 00:53:41,900
And I remember one of the
first things he ever told me
1304
00:53:41,900 --> 00:53:46,566
was this amazing story
about his experiences
1305
00:53:46,566 --> 00:53:50,866
working with bands
like Pink Floyd and Kiss.
1306
00:53:50,866 --> 00:53:52,500
ROBISON: One of the
things that I'm very proud of
1307
00:53:52,500 --> 00:53:55,233
is the equipment
that I made, it did its job.
1308
00:53:55,233 --> 00:53:57,200
It worked.
1309
00:53:57,200 --> 00:54:00,900
It, it played music,
it exploded, it lit up.
1310
00:54:00,900 --> 00:54:06,133
(electric guitar blaring)
1311
00:54:08,500 --> 00:54:12,133
The musicians were
always welcoming to me.
1312
00:54:12,133 --> 00:54:14,533
For a person, you know,
1313
00:54:14,533 --> 00:54:16,633
who'd been rejected
all his life,
1314
00:54:16,633 --> 00:54:19,766
people calling
me names and stuff,
1315
00:54:19,766 --> 00:54:22,200
nobody ever called me names
1316
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:25,300
except in a
complimentary way in music.
1317
00:54:25,300 --> 00:54:28,000
I mean they might have said,
"Wow," you know, "Ampie,"
1318
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:29,000
because they called
me Ampie,
1319
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:31,133
because I made the amplifiers.
1320
00:54:31,133 --> 00:54:32,400
You know, and Ampie,
they might say, you know,
1321
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:34,600
"He's crazy," or
"He's like a real freak,"
1322
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:36,000
but he was
like a brilliant freak.
1323
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,500
♪ ♪
1324
00:54:38,500 --> 00:54:43,666
I have many gifts, I suppose,
as a result of being different.
1325
00:54:43,666 --> 00:54:45,933
But I also have disabilities.
1326
00:54:45,933 --> 00:54:47,966
I wasn't very good,
1327
00:54:47,966 --> 00:54:49,200
and I'm still not very good,
1328
00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:51,133
at reading emotional cues.
1329
00:54:51,133 --> 00:54:54,366
A lot of times I would...
1330
00:54:54,366 --> 00:54:55,733
say a wrong thing,
1331
00:54:55,733 --> 00:54:58,633
and I would have no clue
what I did wrong.
1332
00:54:58,633 --> 00:55:02,633
I just thought that I was like
a second-rate person.
1333
00:55:02,633 --> 00:55:04,033
But I have been
1334
00:55:04,033 --> 00:55:08,033
really lucky in my life,
because...
1335
00:55:08,033 --> 00:55:12,666
first, when I was, you know,
in my early 20s,
1336
00:55:12,666 --> 00:55:15,066
I was able to engineer
1337
00:55:15,066 --> 00:55:17,266
musical things
1338
00:55:17,266 --> 00:55:20,000
that would sing for the world.
1339
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:23,700
So I didn't have to
find a way into a conversation.
1340
00:55:23,700 --> 00:55:27,933
And I took up fixing cars,
1341
00:55:27,933 --> 00:55:30,733
and people would come
to talk to me about the cars.
1342
00:55:30,733 --> 00:55:32,866
And then I began
writing about autism,
1343
00:55:32,866 --> 00:55:34,766
and people
talked to me about that.
1344
00:55:34,766 --> 00:55:37,200
But in every case,
1345
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:40,000
the work that I created
spoke for me.
1346
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:43,966
And for me,
that's how I have overcome
1347
00:55:43,966 --> 00:55:47,033
the disability
of not being able
1348
00:55:47,033 --> 00:55:48,533
to figure out what to say.
1349
00:55:48,533 --> 00:55:53,033
I don't figure it out,
other people say things to me.
1350
00:55:53,033 --> 00:55:54,666
(applause)
1351
00:55:54,666 --> 00:55:56,233
CAREN: John's lived an
extraordinary life.
1352
00:55:56,233 --> 00:55:59,500
- Thank you all
for joining me here today.
1353
00:55:59,500 --> 00:56:01,366
CAREN: He speaks
all over the country.
1354
00:56:01,366 --> 00:56:02,833
His goal is to
1355
00:56:02,833 --> 00:56:04,666
inspire people with autism
1356
00:56:04,666 --> 00:56:07,166
to have pride in themselves,
to see autism
1357
00:56:07,166 --> 00:56:09,000
as part of their identity.
1358
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:10,866
- How we talk
about neurodiversity.
1359
00:56:10,866 --> 00:56:12,600
It's us folks.
1360
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:17,166
Neurodiversity is
the idea that
1361
00:56:17,166 --> 00:56:21,333
some amount of
neurological diversity
1362
00:56:21,333 --> 00:56:25,733
is a normal,
healthy part of humanity.
1363
00:56:25,733 --> 00:56:29,533
Neurodiversity is
our word for what we are
1364
00:56:29,533 --> 00:56:32,966
and our word
is not a word of disability.
1365
00:56:32,966 --> 00:56:36,000
Our word is
a word of empowerment.
1366
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:37,266
(cheers and applause)
1367
00:56:37,266 --> 00:56:39,066
CAREN: Today,
1368
00:56:39,066 --> 00:56:40,066
the dominant picture
1369
00:56:40,066 --> 00:56:42,000
the public gets of autism
1370
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,566
is through characters
like Max from "Parenthood."
1371
00:56:44,566 --> 00:56:46,900
- Some people say
that having Asperger's
1372
00:56:46,900 --> 00:56:49,733
can sometimes be a bad thing,
but I'm glad I have it,
1373
00:56:49,733 --> 00:56:51,766
because I think
it's my greatest strength.
1374
00:56:51,766 --> 00:56:54,433
CAREN:
Or "The Good Doctor"--
1375
00:56:54,433 --> 00:56:56,133
a guy who has challenges,
1376
00:56:56,133 --> 00:56:58,533
but is also
unbelievably brilliant.
1377
00:56:58,533 --> 00:56:59,900
- Check valve.
1378
00:56:59,900 --> 00:57:03,966
♪ ♪
1379
00:57:03,966 --> 00:57:07,000
CAREN: But there's a problem
with this uplifting picture.
1380
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:10,900
It's who tends to
get left out of the story.
1381
00:57:10,900 --> 00:57:13,433
There are a whole lot
of people like John Robison
1382
00:57:13,433 --> 00:57:17,366
who can speak for themselves,
and that's fantastic,
1383
00:57:17,366 --> 00:57:19,033
but there's
a whole lot of people
1384
00:57:19,033 --> 00:57:22,566
on the other end of
the spectrum who can't.
1385
00:57:22,566 --> 00:57:24,800
It's the warm and fuzzy
view of autism.
1386
00:57:24,800 --> 00:57:27,333
These are the stories
that make people feel good.
1387
00:57:27,333 --> 00:57:29,500
(young Jonah crying)
1388
00:57:29,500 --> 00:57:30,800
WOMAN: Don't hit me!
1389
00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:33,566
I don't like it when you hit me.
1390
00:57:33,566 --> 00:57:34,933
AMY:
No one wants to hear about
1391
00:57:34,933 --> 00:57:38,366
the autistic person
that attacked his mother
1392
00:57:38,366 --> 00:57:41,066
or smashed
his head against the floor.
1393
00:57:41,066 --> 00:57:43,966
Like that's
a really disturbing story,
1394
00:57:43,966 --> 00:57:45,566
and no one wants to hear it.
1395
00:57:45,566 --> 00:57:47,800
(young Jonah crying)
1396
00:57:47,800 --> 00:57:49,133
- Don't hit me!
I don't like...
1397
00:57:49,133 --> 00:57:50,266
AMY: When I look back on
1398
00:57:50,266 --> 00:57:51,733
those years that
Jonah was aggressive,
1399
00:57:51,733 --> 00:57:53,333
I don't know how
he got through it.
1400
00:57:53,333 --> 00:57:55,800
These rages would come over him,
1401
00:57:55,800 --> 00:57:57,966
multiple times a day often.
1402
00:57:57,966 --> 00:57:59,933
And I mean, they never
lasted very long,
1403
00:57:59,933 --> 00:58:03,700
but, you know, 15 minutes
of your kid, um, you know,
1404
00:58:03,700 --> 00:58:07,300
trying to rip your hair out or
bite you or kick you is...
1405
00:58:07,300 --> 00:58:09,433
is a long time
when it's happening.
1406
00:58:09,433 --> 00:58:14,466
♪ ♪
1407
00:58:15,466 --> 00:58:17,033
CAREN:
Amy Lutz has been
1408
00:58:17,033 --> 00:58:20,700
raising a son with autism for
almost as long as I have.
1409
00:58:22,066 --> 00:58:24,100
But they're profoundly
different young men.
1410
00:58:24,100 --> 00:58:27,800
♪ ♪
1411
00:58:27,800 --> 00:58:31,366
AMY:
Jonah loves to spin.
1412
00:58:31,366 --> 00:58:33,600
He turns on some
"Sesame Street" music,
1413
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:34,733
and he starts
1414
00:58:34,733 --> 00:58:36,966
flying around the room.
1415
00:58:36,966 --> 00:58:43,433
♪ ♪
1416
00:58:43,433 --> 00:58:47,300
He looks like Scott Hamilton
on ice skates sometimes.
1417
00:58:48,933 --> 00:58:52,466
CAREN: Jonah has
a family that completely
1418
00:58:52,466 --> 00:58:54,900
loves and supports him.
1419
00:58:54,900 --> 00:58:56,933
They really get him.
1420
00:58:56,933 --> 00:59:00,366
And they get
that he has something to say,
1421
00:59:00,366 --> 00:59:02,966
like his
"Sesame Street" drawings.
1422
00:59:02,966 --> 00:59:05,800
There's always a lot of...
some movement in Jonah's art.
1423
00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:07,333
CAREN:
When you put them together,
1424
00:59:07,333 --> 00:59:09,533
you can see that
he's creating this motion,
1425
00:59:10,533 --> 00:59:12,166
like a cartoon.
1426
00:59:12,166 --> 00:59:14,066
When he is
through with his series,
1427
00:59:14,066 --> 00:59:15,466
he will crumple it up
1428
00:59:15,466 --> 00:59:18,200
and just throw it
in the trash can.
1429
00:59:18,200 --> 00:59:21,166
Because art is all
about process for Jonah,
1430
00:59:21,166 --> 00:59:23,300
not about product.
1431
00:59:23,300 --> 00:59:28,333
♪ ♪
1432
00:59:31,566 --> 00:59:33,100
AMY: You know,
I can describe Jonah
1433
00:59:33,100 --> 00:59:35,500
and talk about his struggles
1434
00:59:35,500 --> 00:59:36,866
for the rest of my life,
1435
00:59:36,866 --> 00:59:38,666
and I'm sure
I will be doing that.
1436
00:59:38,666 --> 00:59:40,433
All right, Jonah,
number two is?
1437
00:59:40,433 --> 00:59:41,900
- Walk.
1438
00:59:41,900 --> 00:59:43,833
- Can I help
you with your socks?
1439
00:59:43,833 --> 00:59:47,000
(voiceover): I don't believe
that Jonah has a real conception
1440
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:49,633
of what it would mean to
leave home,
1441
00:59:49,633 --> 00:59:53,233
and what it means to
have a job, and...
1442
00:59:53,233 --> 00:59:55,266
You know, these are
really abstract concepts,
1443
00:59:55,266 --> 00:59:58,700
and Jonah does not
have abstract concepts.
1444
00:59:58,700 --> 00:59:59,933
I'll do the socks,
you do the shoes.
1445
00:59:59,933 --> 01:00:02,033
(voiceover):
He has no safety awareness.
1446
01:00:02,033 --> 01:00:03,500
And if you notice,
we have these...
1447
01:00:03,500 --> 01:00:04,700
(buttons clicking)
1448
01:00:04,700 --> 01:00:06,766
...code locks on
all our exterior doors,
1449
01:00:06,766 --> 01:00:11,033
that we had to install to
prevent Jonah from wandering.
1450
01:00:11,033 --> 01:00:12,933
(voiceover):
When Jonah was younger,
1451
01:00:12,933 --> 01:00:15,333
he would find
a way to slip out.
1452
01:00:15,333 --> 01:00:17,533
Some... you know,
he'd get out the front door,
1453
01:00:17,533 --> 01:00:18,966
he dropped out of some windows.
1454
01:00:18,966 --> 01:00:23,466
And several times
we found him walking down
1455
01:00:23,466 --> 01:00:27,633
this busy road on his iPad,
you know,
1456
01:00:27,633 --> 01:00:29,766
with, you know, traffic
stopped on either side,
1457
01:00:29,766 --> 01:00:31,800
while somebody tried
to coax him out of the road,
1458
01:00:31,800 --> 01:00:34,133
and somebody else
called the police.
1459
01:00:34,133 --> 01:00:36,433
Those of us
who live with autism,
1460
01:00:36,433 --> 01:00:38,266
you know,
in its more severe forms,
1461
01:00:38,266 --> 01:00:40,300
we don't think of it as a gift.
1462
01:00:40,300 --> 01:00:42,133
It's incredibly disabling.
1463
01:00:42,133 --> 01:00:44,366
(struggling)
1464
01:00:44,366 --> 01:00:45,700
MAN: You want some help?
1465
01:00:45,700 --> 01:00:47,500
- WOMAN: Up-up-up-up...
1466
01:00:47,500 --> 01:00:49,100
AMY:
I've seen kids who
1467
01:00:49,100 --> 01:00:51,533
have to wear
helmets and arm stays,
1468
01:00:51,533 --> 01:00:53,366
to keep them
from bending their arms,
1469
01:00:53,366 --> 01:00:55,266
because as
soon as you release them,
1470
01:00:55,266 --> 01:00:57,100
they punch
themselves in the face,
1471
01:00:57,100 --> 01:00:58,633
hundreds of times an hour,
1472
01:00:58,633 --> 01:01:00,600
until they detach
their own retinas.
1473
01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:02,800
You know, I've seen...
1474
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:06,100
autistic teenagers
that still have to wear diapers.
1475
01:01:06,100 --> 01:01:09,833
Kids that have
no language at all.
1476
01:01:09,833 --> 01:01:11,200
And I think that's an
1477
01:01:11,200 --> 01:01:13,166
incredibly important
distinction to make.
1478
01:01:13,166 --> 01:01:15,700
That when...
when your neurodiversity
1479
01:01:15,700 --> 01:01:19,666
starts to really restrict
your opportunities in the world,
1480
01:01:19,666 --> 01:01:22,433
that's not an identity,
that is a pathology.
1481
01:01:22,433 --> 01:01:25,933
And if everybody
could accept this idea,
1482
01:01:25,933 --> 01:01:27,900
that at some point
1483
01:01:27,900 --> 01:01:29,900
neurodiversity
shades into pathology,
1484
01:01:29,900 --> 01:01:33,066
and we don't even have to
have a huge argument
1485
01:01:33,066 --> 01:01:35,433
about where exactly
that point is.
1486
01:01:35,433 --> 01:01:37,600
I think it's about
how much it impacts
1487
01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:39,233
your functioning in the world.
1488
01:01:39,233 --> 01:01:40,700
(on-screen): Ready to
get the princess some steak?
1489
01:01:40,700 --> 01:01:41,833
- (Jonah laughing)
- What's that?
1490
01:01:41,833 --> 01:01:44,233
- Did you get
the princess some steak?
1491
01:01:44,233 --> 01:01:46,733
(voiceover):
I would love not to have to
1492
01:01:46,733 --> 01:01:49,466
talk about
Jonah's previous aggression.
1493
01:01:49,466 --> 01:01:52,533
I would love not to have to
talk about his, you know,
1494
01:01:52,533 --> 01:01:54,700
his cognitive impairments.
1495
01:01:54,700 --> 01:01:56,266
(on-screen):
Oh, sorry, excuse us.
1496
01:01:56,266 --> 01:02:00,400
(voiceover): But I do that,
because it's critical that those
1497
01:02:00,400 --> 01:02:04,166
with the most profound needs
are central to any conversation
1498
01:02:04,166 --> 01:02:08,266
about policy,
about stigma,
1499
01:02:08,266 --> 01:02:10,566
about autism writ large.
1500
01:02:10,566 --> 01:02:13,733
I think the spectrum
is enormously broad.
1501
01:02:13,733 --> 01:02:16,300
And so everyone who
can speak for themselves
1502
01:02:16,300 --> 01:02:18,133
should speak for themselves.
1503
01:02:18,133 --> 01:02:20,766
And if people think
I'm somehow subverting
1504
01:02:20,766 --> 01:02:22,800
her thoughts or wishes
or desires,
1505
01:02:22,800 --> 01:02:26,333
then I would just say I'm
doing the best job that I can.
1506
01:02:26,333 --> 01:02:29,000
I would love that if
Slade could speak for himself.
1507
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:30,466
I hope he can.
1508
01:02:30,466 --> 01:02:34,633
But until he does,
I am definitely his protector
1509
01:02:34,633 --> 01:02:37,600
and his facilitator,
1510
01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:40,700
to help him navigate life.
1511
01:02:40,700 --> 01:02:43,100
(Slade vocalizing)
1512
01:02:43,100 --> 01:02:46,233
I think autism now
is a meaningless diagnosis,
1513
01:02:46,233 --> 01:02:49,966
simply because the range
of people who...
1514
01:02:49,966 --> 01:02:51,366
(on-screen):
Excuse us, sorry.
1515
01:02:51,366 --> 01:02:52,866
- Excuse us, excuse me.
- Oh.
1516
01:02:52,866 --> 01:02:54,733
(voiceover):
...Who carry that diagnosis
1517
01:02:54,733 --> 01:02:57,100
is impossibly broad,
to the point
1518
01:02:57,100 --> 01:02:59,066
that you don't know
anything about a person
1519
01:02:59,066 --> 01:03:00,466
by hearing that that person's
1520
01:03:00,466 --> 01:03:01,500
been diagnosed with autism.
1521
01:03:01,500 --> 01:03:02,600
(on-screen):
Over here.
1522
01:03:02,600 --> 01:03:04,833
Stay with
Mommy and Daddy, please.
1523
01:03:04,833 --> 01:03:06,033
You know,
researchers are starting to
1524
01:03:06,033 --> 01:03:07,533
talk about "The Autisms."
1525
01:03:07,533 --> 01:03:09,966
You know,
that Jonah's autism
1526
01:03:09,966 --> 01:03:12,733
is not the same as
John Robison's autism.
1527
01:03:12,733 --> 01:03:17,266
And that, it's not useful
to think of them as the same.
1528
01:03:17,266 --> 01:03:19,000
You're heavy.
1529
01:03:20,866 --> 01:03:22,300
(doorbell chimes)
1530
01:03:22,300 --> 01:03:24,733
You know, we love this place,
1531
01:03:24,733 --> 01:03:25,966
because not only does Sarah
1532
01:03:25,966 --> 01:03:27,900
give Jonah a great haircut
every time,
1533
01:03:27,900 --> 01:03:30,733
but they don't mind if
he lies down on the floor
1534
01:03:30,733 --> 01:03:31,966
or if he starts spinning.
1535
01:03:31,966 --> 01:03:34,800
And they're
totally cool with it.
1536
01:03:34,800 --> 01:03:36,033
They really welcome
Jonah into their shop,
1537
01:03:36,033 --> 01:03:37,233
and we're so happy to
1538
01:03:37,233 --> 01:03:38,800
bring them our business.
1539
01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:40,166
CAREN:
What did you think about
1540
01:03:40,166 --> 01:03:42,300
the people who were
coming in for haircuts,
1541
01:03:42,300 --> 01:03:46,333
how they treated Jonah?
- Ah.
1542
01:03:46,333 --> 01:03:48,133
I mean, that's kind of
1543
01:03:48,133 --> 01:03:49,966
what I'm seeing
a lot now these days,
1544
01:03:49,966 --> 01:03:52,833
is that people are nice.
1545
01:03:52,833 --> 01:03:54,600
(on-screen):
Excuse us, sorry.
1546
01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:56,500
No, go ahead.
I'm sorry.
1547
01:03:56,500 --> 01:03:57,800
(voiceover): You know,
1548
01:03:57,800 --> 01:04:00,733
often people will stop
and say he's great, or...
1549
01:04:00,733 --> 01:04:04,533
"I know someone with autism,
is he autistic?"
1550
01:04:04,533 --> 01:04:07,066
They really accept him there,
they welcome him there,
1551
01:04:07,066 --> 01:04:09,333
and it's why we keep going back.
1552
01:04:09,333 --> 01:04:10,600
Thank you!
1553
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:13,533
ROB RESNIK: People
might see the disability,
1554
01:04:13,533 --> 01:04:14,766
and when you're a parent
1555
01:04:14,766 --> 01:04:17,066
or when you're around
them all the time,
1556
01:04:17,066 --> 01:04:18,566
you just see their personality.
1557
01:04:18,566 --> 01:04:22,133
And his is just
so pleasant and sweet that,
1558
01:04:22,133 --> 01:04:23,466
you know,
he's just a great guy.
1559
01:04:23,466 --> 01:04:24,866
- (humming)
- He's a great worker.
1560
01:04:24,866 --> 01:04:27,400
He's great around the house.
1561
01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:29,100
And people may not see that,
1562
01:04:29,100 --> 01:04:31,966
and they may see
our situation as difficult
1563
01:04:31,966 --> 01:04:34,533
if they really didn't know
what he was like.
1564
01:04:34,533 --> 01:04:36,766
- (humming)
1565
01:04:36,766 --> 01:04:39,733
(chuckling): Like that.
Good.
1566
01:04:39,733 --> 01:04:41,233
(laughs)
1567
01:04:41,233 --> 01:04:42,400
- (muffled speaking)
1568
01:04:42,400 --> 01:04:45,800
♪ ♪
1569
01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:47,133
You've been
traveling a long time.
1570
01:04:47,133 --> 01:04:48,500
- Yep.
1571
01:04:48,500 --> 01:04:51,066
CAREN:
So the first diagnosed child,
1572
01:04:51,066 --> 01:04:53,166
he's in his ninth decade
of life now.
1573
01:04:53,166 --> 01:04:56,066
- November of 1989, that's...
1574
01:04:56,066 --> 01:04:59,100
when I went to Australia.
1575
01:04:59,100 --> 01:05:01,966
CAREN: And he's doing things
that nobody
1576
01:05:01,966 --> 01:05:03,066
would have ever expected.
1577
01:05:03,066 --> 01:05:04,100
- So this is 30 years of travel
1578
01:05:04,100 --> 01:05:05,500
in these passports.
1579
01:05:05,500 --> 01:05:08,033
- Yeah, it sure is.
- Yeah.
1580
01:05:08,033 --> 01:05:11,433
I get a picture
from Germany or Iceland
1581
01:05:11,433 --> 01:05:12,833
or Florida,
1582
01:05:12,833 --> 01:05:14,966
(chuckling):
Wherever he goes, you know.
1583
01:05:14,966 --> 01:05:16,433
And I often wonder,
1584
01:05:16,433 --> 01:05:18,933
how in the world
does he make it alone?
1585
01:05:18,933 --> 01:05:21,033
You know,
I don't like to travel alone.
1586
01:05:21,033 --> 01:05:22,133
(laughs)
1587
01:05:22,133 --> 01:05:23,866
He liked playing golf.
1588
01:05:23,866 --> 01:05:26,466
- Oh gosh! Yeah, he did.
- And...
1589
01:05:26,466 --> 01:05:29,100
Snow on the ground,
if it's hailing,
1590
01:05:29,100 --> 01:05:32,466
he's out there
on the golf course.
1591
01:05:32,466 --> 01:05:35,800
Don has a really unique...
1592
01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:37,133
waggle and swing,
1593
01:05:37,133 --> 01:05:38,533
and if you've ever
watched him
1594
01:05:38,533 --> 01:05:41,333
go through
the motions of that,
1595
01:05:41,333 --> 01:05:43,466
it's, it's difficult to
1596
01:05:43,466 --> 01:05:45,333
take your eyes away.
1597
01:05:45,333 --> 01:05:46,633
WOMAN: Great job.
MAN: All right, right down--
1598
01:05:46,633 --> 01:05:47,866
he's the only one
to hit it down the middle.
1599
01:05:47,866 --> 01:05:48,933
(Donald chuckling)
WOMAN: All right.
1600
01:05:48,933 --> 01:05:50,200
MAN: Good shot, D.T.
1601
01:05:50,200 --> 01:05:51,666
CAREN:
You know, I think back to
1602
01:05:51,666 --> 01:05:53,933
this little boy who
was put in an institution
1603
01:05:53,933 --> 01:05:56,100
in the 1930s...
1604
01:05:56,100 --> 01:05:58,433
(group exclaiming)
1605
01:05:58,433 --> 01:06:00,666
CAREN: He's just come so far.
1606
01:06:00,666 --> 01:06:02,000
(indistinct chatter)
1607
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:03,766
And he really has it all.
1608
01:06:04,833 --> 01:06:07,200
But Donald
is sort of an outlier.
1609
01:06:07,200 --> 01:06:08,633
DONALD: Oh, thank you.
1610
01:06:08,633 --> 01:06:11,600
SID: Obviously,
the whole discussion
1611
01:06:11,600 --> 01:06:13,333
begs the question of,
1612
01:06:13,333 --> 01:06:14,566
if there had not been
1613
01:06:14,566 --> 01:06:17,633
the respect for
1614
01:06:17,633 --> 01:06:20,233
Mr. Beamon Triplett
that the community had,
1615
01:06:20,233 --> 01:06:23,733
if there had not been
the network of support,
1616
01:06:23,733 --> 01:06:25,666
all of those things,
1617
01:06:25,666 --> 01:06:28,533
would Don's life have
turned out the same way?
1618
01:06:30,066 --> 01:06:32,266
JOHN: So there's another
important factor
1619
01:06:32,266 --> 01:06:34,400
about the environment
that Donald grew up in.
1620
01:06:34,400 --> 01:06:38,200
He was a white child
raised in the Jim Crow South.
1621
01:06:38,200 --> 01:06:39,566
And Forest was
a segregated community.
1622
01:06:39,566 --> 01:06:41,033
Separate facilities
and all that.
1623
01:06:42,066 --> 01:06:44,100
Of course, a lot has changed
since then,
1624
01:06:44,100 --> 01:06:45,500
but there's no doubt that
1625
01:06:45,500 --> 01:06:46,600
a child who was Black
1626
01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:48,166
growing up
when Donald was a kid
1627
01:06:48,166 --> 01:06:49,933
would have had
nothing like his advantages,
1628
01:06:49,933 --> 01:06:51,900
even to getting diagnosed.
1629
01:06:51,900 --> 01:06:54,766
And it's not just the South.
1630
01:06:54,766 --> 01:06:56,233
For Black children,
getting diagnosed with autism
1631
01:06:56,233 --> 01:06:57,533
has always been a challenge.
1632
01:06:57,533 --> 01:06:59,400
When Caren and I
started looking at
1633
01:06:59,400 --> 01:07:01,266
old documentaries
about autism,
1634
01:07:01,266 --> 01:07:02,600
we noticed that
almost all of the kids
1635
01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:04,966
were white,
and that's partly because
1636
01:07:04,966 --> 01:07:07,133
for a long time,
psychiatry believed
1637
01:07:07,133 --> 01:07:09,333
that autistic children
were only
1638
01:07:09,333 --> 01:07:11,533
born to parents
who were highly educated
1639
01:07:11,533 --> 01:07:12,966
and highly intelligent.
1640
01:07:12,966 --> 01:07:14,400
MOVIE NARRATOR:
His father is a specialist
1641
01:07:14,400 --> 01:07:16,600
in nuclear power plants.
1642
01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:17,700
JOHN: And the categories
of highly intelligent
1643
01:07:17,700 --> 01:07:19,500
and highly professional,
1644
01:07:19,500 --> 01:07:20,733
because of racist attitudes,
1645
01:07:20,733 --> 01:07:23,666
were seen to rule out
Black families.
1646
01:07:24,633 --> 01:07:26,266
MOVIE NARRATOR: His father is
a college graduate
1647
01:07:26,266 --> 01:07:27,966
and a self-employed businessman.
1648
01:07:27,966 --> 01:07:30,233
JOHN:
So for autistic children
1649
01:07:30,233 --> 01:07:31,633
who were Black,
1650
01:07:31,633 --> 01:07:33,666
getting an autism diagnosis,
1651
01:07:33,666 --> 01:07:35,866
was much more challenging
than for white kids.
1652
01:07:35,866 --> 01:07:37,366
And, in fact, it still is.
1653
01:07:37,366 --> 01:07:39,066
STEPHANIE PARKS: For me
it looks a little dead obvious,
1654
01:07:39,066 --> 01:07:41,966
like, well, of course
a Black child couldn't have it
1655
01:07:41,966 --> 01:07:45,733
because our ideas
tied to autism are always,
1656
01:07:45,733 --> 01:07:48,666
"Oh the savant,
the genius, the card-counter."
1657
01:07:48,666 --> 01:07:53,500
And when,
in the United States, we...
1658
01:07:53,500 --> 01:07:56,700
you know, really
stereotype Black people as
1659
01:07:56,700 --> 01:08:00,800
being less than,
less intelligent, less capable.
1660
01:08:00,800 --> 01:08:04,600
If you have a diagnosis
that surrounds intelligence
1661
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:07,066
and high intelligence, right,
1662
01:08:07,066 --> 01:08:10,166
of course, our children are
precluded from the diagnosis.
1663
01:08:10,166 --> 01:08:12,200
That's pretty obvious.
1664
01:08:12,200 --> 01:08:15,133
Come on, you wanna
make this light or no?
1665
01:08:15,133 --> 01:08:16,500
Go, go, go,
come on, come on.
1666
01:08:16,500 --> 01:08:17,766
- Come on, come on.
1667
01:08:17,766 --> 01:08:19,433
Come on, come on, come on...
- Go, go, go.
1668
01:08:19,433 --> 01:08:20,633
(voiceover):
My academic work
1669
01:08:20,633 --> 01:08:22,000
stems directly
from my own experience
1670
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:24,666
being a mother
of a child with autism.
1671
01:08:24,666 --> 01:08:26,000
I used to sit
1672
01:08:26,000 --> 01:08:30,633
in our clinic
during my son's therapies,
1673
01:08:30,633 --> 01:08:32,233
and wonder why we were one
1674
01:08:32,233 --> 01:08:36,066
of the only
Black families there.
1675
01:08:36,066 --> 01:08:38,533
And that started a question
1676
01:08:38,533 --> 01:08:41,733
that necessitated
answers for me,
1677
01:08:41,733 --> 01:08:45,033
and that meant taking
my degree all the way to UCLA
1678
01:08:45,033 --> 01:08:48,533
to get a PhD, to answer it.
1679
01:08:48,533 --> 01:08:52,266
He was happy in my stomach,
he was happy once he showed up.
1680
01:08:52,266 --> 01:08:54,666
He didn't cry when he was born,
1681
01:08:54,666 --> 01:08:56,600
he just snuggled right in
1682
01:08:56,600 --> 01:08:59,200
and got on with business.
1683
01:08:59,200 --> 01:09:00,433
And he smiled,
1684
01:09:00,433 --> 01:09:02,200
and he was
the happiest, fattest,
1685
01:09:02,200 --> 01:09:04,400
most beautiful
chocolate baby.
1686
01:09:04,400 --> 01:09:05,833
- Yeah.
- Um...
1687
01:09:05,833 --> 01:09:06,900
- Peanut butter chocolate.
1688
01:09:06,900 --> 01:09:09,033
- Okay, listen.
1689
01:09:09,033 --> 01:09:10,833
There is Coke over there,
1690
01:09:10,833 --> 01:09:13,200
there's water bottles...
1691
01:09:13,200 --> 01:09:14,633
CAREN:
I got to know Stephanie Parks
1692
01:09:14,633 --> 01:09:16,233
through her research.
- Mom will help with Coke...
1693
01:09:16,233 --> 01:09:17,500
CAREN (voiceover):
She's studying how
1694
01:09:17,500 --> 01:09:21,133
children of color
are diagnosed with autism.
1695
01:09:21,133 --> 01:09:22,433
STEPHANIE:
For families,
1696
01:09:22,433 --> 01:09:25,566
we find a lot--
especially Black families--
1697
01:09:25,566 --> 01:09:27,833
a lot of our problem
with autism
1698
01:09:27,833 --> 01:09:29,533
exists in the systems
1699
01:09:29,533 --> 01:09:31,366
and the people
that we come up against.
1700
01:09:31,366 --> 01:09:34,366
- Dell Parks! Look who I found!
1701
01:09:34,366 --> 01:09:36,033
- Miss Laura!
Go get her.
1702
01:09:36,033 --> 01:09:38,400
Miss Laura!
1703
01:09:38,400 --> 01:09:39,800
What's up!
- Hey, high five.
1704
01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:41,100
How you doing?
- Good.
1705
01:09:41,100 --> 01:09:42,133
STEPHANIE:
I couldn't get access
1706
01:09:42,133 --> 01:09:43,200
to a diagnosis.
1707
01:09:43,200 --> 01:09:45,166
I knew to the core of my soul
1708
01:09:45,166 --> 01:09:46,233
that he had autism.
1709
01:09:46,233 --> 01:09:47,933
We had a three-year-old that
1710
01:09:47,933 --> 01:09:49,366
was still in diapers,
1711
01:09:49,366 --> 01:09:51,600
was completely un-potty trained,
1712
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:55,200
completely nonverbal,
tantruming for hours on end.
1713
01:09:55,200 --> 01:09:56,866
We had all kinds of markers.
1714
01:09:56,866 --> 01:10:01,700
He was lining up toys in
absolute grids across our floor.
1715
01:10:01,700 --> 01:10:05,000
He was flapping,
he was toe-walking.
1716
01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:08,366
I mean we had
every red flag possible.
1717
01:10:08,366 --> 01:10:11,133
And we still couldn't manage
to get a diagnosis.
1718
01:10:11,133 --> 01:10:13,533
We went to
the pediatrician several times,
1719
01:10:13,533 --> 01:10:17,500
and we got the same type of
response that most families get,
1720
01:10:17,500 --> 01:10:19,400
especially Black families,
1721
01:10:19,400 --> 01:10:22,533
which is our boys are...
1722
01:10:22,533 --> 01:10:23,733
"They're a little slow,
1723
01:10:23,733 --> 01:10:25,433
"he's slower
than other kids maybe,"
1724
01:10:25,433 --> 01:10:27,566
you know,
"He'll catch up."
1725
01:10:27,566 --> 01:10:29,033
And actually the pediatrician
1726
01:10:29,033 --> 01:10:31,333
was my personal pediatrician
when I was growing up.
1727
01:10:31,333 --> 01:10:32,766
I mean,
1728
01:10:32,766 --> 01:10:34,533
she's warm and lovely, and...
1729
01:10:34,533 --> 01:10:35,666
- Mm-hmm, yep.
- All the things you would
1730
01:10:35,666 --> 01:10:36,833
want in a pediatrician.
1731
01:10:36,833 --> 01:10:39,800
- Yes.
- Like really exceptional human.
1732
01:10:39,800 --> 01:10:42,066
That's just how baked-in
1733
01:10:42,066 --> 01:10:43,866
racism is into the system,
1734
01:10:43,866 --> 01:10:47,100
that it's uncontrollable,
even from...
1735
01:10:47,100 --> 01:10:49,266
people that
we really love and trust.
1736
01:10:49,266 --> 01:10:54,500
♪ ♪
1737
01:10:54,500 --> 01:10:57,733
VALERIE: This doesn't mean that
there are fewer
1738
01:10:57,733 --> 01:11:00,600
African-American and
Hispanic children with autism,
1739
01:11:00,600 --> 01:11:03,200
let alone adults.
(chuckles)
1740
01:11:03,200 --> 01:11:07,366
But it does perhaps indicate
1741
01:11:07,366 --> 01:11:11,033
that there are large numbers
of people in the population
1742
01:11:11,033 --> 01:11:15,266
who are being misdiagnosed
with other conditions
1743
01:11:15,266 --> 01:11:18,666
or not diagnosed at all.
1744
01:11:18,666 --> 01:11:20,333
When I began my research,
1745
01:11:20,333 --> 01:11:24,433
I was thoroughly shocked
by how racism worked
1746
01:11:24,433 --> 01:11:27,200
in clinical spaces.
1747
01:11:27,200 --> 01:11:29,900
- Making a pizza!
- Yes! You got it!
1748
01:11:29,900 --> 01:11:31,666
STEPHANIE:
I have spent time watching
1749
01:11:31,666 --> 01:11:34,166
clinicians diagnose kids with
autism.
1750
01:11:34,166 --> 01:11:37,066
In one particular situation,
1751
01:11:37,066 --> 01:11:41,866
I was watching a clinic
in a major metropolitan area.
1752
01:11:41,866 --> 01:11:44,333
And one of the Black parents
1753
01:11:44,333 --> 01:11:46,866
was asked about
disciplinary practices.
1754
01:11:46,866 --> 01:11:48,733
And to which she
used the word "whuppin'."
1755
01:11:48,733 --> 01:11:51,500
She explained to the clinician
1756
01:11:51,500 --> 01:11:54,166
how her child was doing
things that had scared her,
1757
01:11:54,166 --> 01:11:57,466
like climbing into
high places and running off,
1758
01:11:57,466 --> 01:11:59,566
and like if he did that,
he would get a whuppin'
1759
01:11:59,566 --> 01:12:03,100
so he would understand
not to do them again.
1760
01:12:03,100 --> 01:12:05,833
And the clinicians
became very concerned,
1761
01:12:05,833 --> 01:12:09,233
and they wanted to call
Child Protective Services.
1762
01:12:09,233 --> 01:12:12,400
But the next appointment,
1763
01:12:12,400 --> 01:12:14,800
we had a white family come in,
1764
01:12:14,800 --> 01:12:17,233
and the child expressed
having been hit by their parents
1765
01:12:17,233 --> 01:12:19,733
in response to being naughty.
1766
01:12:19,733 --> 01:12:23,933
And the clinicians
didn't have
1767
01:12:23,933 --> 01:12:26,400
the same response to
the mother in that situation.
1768
01:12:26,400 --> 01:12:28,033
In the situation
of the white family,
1769
01:12:28,033 --> 01:12:31,233
the clinicians framed her as
being emotionally unavailable
1770
01:12:31,233 --> 01:12:35,033
and needed help with resources,
such as respite care,
1771
01:12:35,033 --> 01:12:36,900
you know, somebody to
come in and give her a break
1772
01:12:36,900 --> 01:12:39,366
and take care of the child
while mom caught a break
1773
01:12:39,366 --> 01:12:40,700
and refreshed herself.
1774
01:12:40,700 --> 01:12:43,633
And white clinicians
looking at a Black mother
1775
01:12:43,633 --> 01:12:45,133
using the word "whuppin'"
1776
01:12:45,133 --> 01:12:48,133
necessitates a call to
Child Protective Services,
1777
01:12:48,133 --> 01:12:51,200
but a white child expressing
having been spanked does not.
1778
01:12:52,200 --> 01:12:56,266
The framework for doing the
autism diagnostic test itself
1779
01:12:56,266 --> 01:12:58,700
is based on how white people
1780
01:12:58,700 --> 01:13:01,100
understand behavior and
language.
1781
01:13:01,100 --> 01:13:02,900
And being self-reflexive,
1782
01:13:02,900 --> 01:13:06,900
I know the things that
I'm saying are hard to hear,
1783
01:13:06,900 --> 01:13:09,466
they're hard to say,
they're scary for me too.
1784
01:13:09,466 --> 01:13:12,166
I take my kid to these clinics.
1785
01:13:12,166 --> 01:13:16,466
And I genuinely appreciate,
love,
1786
01:13:16,466 --> 01:13:18,800
and respect the clinicians.
1787
01:13:18,800 --> 01:13:21,400
But we have
to be extremely careful,
1788
01:13:21,400 --> 01:13:25,466
because racism is so quiet,
1789
01:13:25,466 --> 01:13:28,300
and so insidious,
1790
01:13:28,300 --> 01:13:32,366
that we have to be capable
of talking about that,
1791
01:13:32,366 --> 01:13:36,166
and being very, very real about
the fact that it's happening
1792
01:13:36,166 --> 01:13:38,566
and we're having
these ideas about people
1793
01:13:38,566 --> 01:13:40,000
who are not like us.
1794
01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:42,866
Whoa!
1795
01:13:42,866 --> 01:13:44,233
It's rough.
JOHN: How vulnerable
1796
01:13:44,233 --> 01:13:45,400
is he out there in the world?
1797
01:13:45,400 --> 01:13:46,800
STEPHANIE: Incredibly.
1798
01:13:46,800 --> 01:13:48,633
WENDELL:
In general, you know,
1799
01:13:48,633 --> 01:13:50,666
he still faces
the same challenges
1800
01:13:50,666 --> 01:13:52,966
as any other Black male.
1801
01:13:53,933 --> 01:13:55,233
STEPHANIE:
In my research study,
1802
01:13:55,233 --> 01:13:57,566
every Black family
that I've met with
1803
01:13:57,566 --> 01:14:00,200
has asked a similar question:
"How do we keep
1804
01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:01,366
"our children safe?
1805
01:14:01,366 --> 01:14:04,200
"How do we fix this situation
1806
01:14:04,200 --> 01:14:06,100
so that our children won't die?"
1807
01:14:07,233 --> 01:14:10,700
That is something
really to think about,
1808
01:14:10,700 --> 01:14:13,900
is that Black parents
of kids like Dell,
1809
01:14:13,900 --> 01:14:15,966
kids with autism,
1810
01:14:15,966 --> 01:14:18,833
we can do everything
in the world.
1811
01:14:18,833 --> 01:14:20,500
We can do all the therapy,
1812
01:14:20,500 --> 01:14:22,766
we can have
the most brilliant child,
1813
01:14:22,766 --> 01:14:25,800
we can do all the right things,
1814
01:14:25,800 --> 01:14:27,900
but I can't keep my son safe.
1815
01:14:27,900 --> 01:14:30,333
And that is,
I think, one of the things
1816
01:14:30,333 --> 01:14:33,233
that just absolutely
scares the hell out of us.
1817
01:14:36,933 --> 01:14:39,000
(phone dialing out)
1818
01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:40,066
CAREN (on phone):
Hey, baby.
1819
01:14:40,066 --> 01:14:41,066
MICKEY (on phone): Hello, Mom.
1820
01:14:41,066 --> 01:14:42,066
CAREN: So, are you working?
1821
01:14:42,066 --> 01:14:43,566
Where are you working today?
1822
01:14:43,566 --> 01:14:45,266
MICKEY: I'm working
at the senior center.
1823
01:14:45,266 --> 01:14:47,066
CAREN: Oh, cool.
1824
01:14:47,066 --> 01:14:50,000
- For those
who are shy of being filmed,
1825
01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:53,033
you can just turn your faces
away from the camera,
1826
01:14:53,033 --> 01:14:56,300
so that way
you'll be participating.
1827
01:14:56,300 --> 01:14:58,600
CAREN:
Mickey had this great job
1828
01:14:58,600 --> 01:15:00,266
volunteering at a senior center,
1829
01:15:00,266 --> 01:15:01,666
calling Bingo.
1830
01:15:01,666 --> 01:15:03,600
He's had a lot
of jobs over the years,
1831
01:15:03,600 --> 01:15:06,066
both volunteer
and even paid jobs,
1832
01:15:06,066 --> 01:15:08,566
but he really loved this one
1833
01:15:08,566 --> 01:15:11,433
because it kind of
played to his strengths.
1834
01:15:11,433 --> 01:15:13,533
- B 14.
1835
01:15:13,533 --> 01:15:15,500
B catorce.
1836
01:15:15,500 --> 01:15:16,733
That's the letters
1837
01:15:16,733 --> 01:15:19,366
in Abner Doubleday's name,
14 letters.
1838
01:15:21,033 --> 01:15:26,066
O 65.
O sesenta y cinco.
1839
01:15:26,066 --> 01:15:28,533
Five baker's dozens.
1840
01:15:29,700 --> 01:15:32,066
O 69.
1841
01:15:32,066 --> 01:15:33,566
O sesenta y nueve.
1842
01:15:33,566 --> 01:15:37,133
Kids, don't think of
that number.
1843
01:15:37,133 --> 01:15:38,633
(laughter)
1844
01:15:39,600 --> 01:15:40,966
CAREN: But like many people with
autism,
1845
01:15:40,966 --> 01:15:43,766
Mickey has
a lot of sensory issues
1846
01:15:43,766 --> 01:15:47,200
that can really put
him into emotional overload.
1847
01:15:47,200 --> 01:15:48,933
Crying is one of
those things for him.
1848
01:15:48,933 --> 01:15:50,833
So when he was working at
the senior center,
1849
01:15:50,833 --> 01:15:52,733
some of the older residents
1850
01:15:52,733 --> 01:15:54,933
with dementia would cry.
1851
01:15:54,933 --> 01:15:56,833
It completely derailed him.
1852
01:15:56,833 --> 01:15:58,800
WOMAN: This is Lila.
1853
01:15:58,800 --> 01:16:02,233
CAREN: So even a job
that he really enjoyed,
1854
01:16:02,233 --> 01:16:03,666
he couldn't manage.
1855
01:16:03,666 --> 01:16:05,633
MICKEY: Here today,
dead tomorrows.
1856
01:16:05,633 --> 01:16:09,166
CAREN: That's happened
a bunch of times now.
1857
01:16:09,166 --> 01:16:10,266
So look at
that programming block.
1858
01:16:10,266 --> 01:16:11,800
Yep, there you go.
1859
01:16:11,800 --> 01:16:13,500
- ... on the right one.
- Yeah, there you go.
1860
01:16:13,500 --> 01:16:14,566
You got it.
- Change.
1861
01:16:14,566 --> 01:16:15,700
- You got it.
1862
01:16:16,900 --> 01:16:18,800
CAREN: He's been successful
in employment training programs,
1863
01:16:18,800 --> 01:16:21,266
and has the skills
to do the work,
1864
01:16:21,266 --> 01:16:24,133
but he still really struggles
with so many intangibles.
1865
01:16:24,133 --> 01:16:26,166
MICKEY: Got it.
1866
01:16:26,166 --> 01:16:27,266
PETE: I tend to think
1867
01:16:27,266 --> 01:16:29,533
employment is more than about...
1868
01:16:29,533 --> 01:16:31,033
what you actually do
1869
01:16:31,033 --> 01:16:32,800
as the production part
of your job.
1870
01:16:32,800 --> 01:16:34,600
The following items:
1871
01:16:34,600 --> 01:16:36,633
color sensor,
ultrasonic sensor...
1872
01:16:36,633 --> 01:16:37,700
PETE:
Working as part of a team,
1873
01:16:37,700 --> 01:16:38,900
getting along with others,
1874
01:16:38,900 --> 01:16:40,366
like, using the bathroom there
1875
01:16:40,366 --> 01:16:41,600
and not making a mess,
1876
01:16:41,600 --> 01:16:42,733
like buying your lunch
at the cafeteria,
1877
01:16:42,733 --> 01:16:43,833
not talking
about things that people
1878
01:16:43,833 --> 01:16:44,866
don't want to talk about.
1879
01:16:44,866 --> 01:16:46,300
- I like Pokémon.
- You do?
1880
01:16:46,300 --> 01:16:48,633
PETE:
Those are what make or break
1881
01:16:48,633 --> 01:16:50,066
a job.
1882
01:16:50,066 --> 01:16:51,966
CAREN:
This isn't just a Mickey thing.
1883
01:16:52,933 --> 01:16:56,033
It's a lot
of really capable people
1884
01:16:56,033 --> 01:16:58,600
who are being overlooked.
1885
01:16:58,600 --> 01:17:00,400
I think the challenge
are all those soft skills
1886
01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:04,166
that go around employment.
1887
01:17:04,166 --> 01:17:06,833
And those are all sort of
bidirectional skills,
1888
01:17:06,833 --> 01:17:08,666
so that's why I always say,
1889
01:17:08,666 --> 01:17:11,366
it's almost always the,
the other end of the equation,
1890
01:17:11,366 --> 01:17:12,466
the typical
people he works with,
1891
01:17:12,466 --> 01:17:14,066
that are gonna need
as much training
1892
01:17:14,066 --> 01:17:15,166
as Mickey does.
1893
01:17:15,166 --> 01:17:16,700
COMPUTER: Error.
(buzzing)
1894
01:17:16,700 --> 01:17:18,100
Error.
(buzzing)
1895
01:17:18,100 --> 01:17:20,700
The last time I had
like another traditional job
1896
01:17:20,700 --> 01:17:22,466
was this summer.
1897
01:17:22,466 --> 01:17:24,433
I worked at an autism school,
1898
01:17:24,433 --> 01:17:26,533
watching autistic kids.
1899
01:17:26,533 --> 01:17:28,833
But, like, I didn't engage
with the kids very well.
1900
01:17:28,833 --> 01:17:32,666
And I needed, like,
really frequent breaks
1901
01:17:32,666 --> 01:17:34,900
because of, like,
the sensory stuff.
1902
01:17:34,900 --> 01:17:37,300
And I would
get overwhelmed, so...
1903
01:17:37,300 --> 01:17:39,633
Yeah, I got fired.
(chuckles)
1904
01:17:39,633 --> 01:17:41,500
I've gotten fired a lot.
1905
01:17:41,500 --> 01:17:42,700
Yeah, so.
1906
01:17:42,700 --> 01:17:45,866
♪ ♪
1907
01:17:47,233 --> 01:17:48,466
CAREN:
Donald had a job.
1908
01:17:48,466 --> 01:17:50,400
He had a job for life.
1909
01:17:50,400 --> 01:17:52,166
See you Monday, Gail.
1910
01:17:52,166 --> 01:17:54,100
CAREN: That bank
he visits every afternoon?
1911
01:17:54,100 --> 01:17:55,900
- See you Monday, Jessica.
1912
01:17:55,900 --> 01:17:57,166
CAREN: He worked there.
- J.P.
1913
01:17:57,166 --> 01:17:58,433
CAREN: And it was like
1914
01:17:58,433 --> 01:17:59,733
a second home to him.
1915
01:17:59,733 --> 01:18:01,066
- All right, Jennester.
1916
01:18:01,066 --> 01:18:02,466
- See you later, darling.
- All right.
1917
01:18:02,466 --> 01:18:03,966
CAREN:
It's a place where
1918
01:18:03,966 --> 01:18:07,233
a whole new generation of people
got connected to him.
1919
01:18:07,233 --> 01:18:08,733
- See you later, big Debbie.
1920
01:18:08,733 --> 01:18:10,066
♪ ♪
1921
01:18:10,066 --> 01:18:12,733
WOMAN: He was a teller,
in his early years.
1922
01:18:12,733 --> 01:18:14,400
And then he worked in
bookkeeping,
1923
01:18:14,400 --> 01:18:15,833
he would stuff statements.
1924
01:18:16,866 --> 01:18:18,333
CAREN:
The fact is that
1925
01:18:18,333 --> 01:18:20,766
Donald's family owned the bank,
1926
01:18:20,766 --> 01:18:22,800
and that made a huge difference.
1927
01:18:22,800 --> 01:18:24,800
It meant everyone was committed
1928
01:18:24,800 --> 01:18:25,966
to his success,
1929
01:18:25,966 --> 01:18:27,233
and whenever
a new manager came in,
1930
01:18:27,233 --> 01:18:29,266
a member of the family
would ensure that.
1931
01:18:29,266 --> 01:18:30,600
GENE WALKER:
Bill McCravey,
1932
01:18:30,600 --> 01:18:32,866
who would have been Don's uncle.
1933
01:18:32,866 --> 01:18:35,800
That would be
Don's mother's brother.
1934
01:18:35,800 --> 01:18:40,666
Early on, he kind of
explained Don's situation,
1935
01:18:40,666 --> 01:18:42,566
and he made the statement to me,
1936
01:18:42,566 --> 01:18:45,600
"Gene,
I always will appreciate you
1937
01:18:45,600 --> 01:18:48,166
if you'll have a place for Don."
1938
01:18:48,166 --> 01:18:51,666
And, you know, I always did.
1939
01:18:51,666 --> 01:18:54,666
He was given the opportunity
to make mistakes,
1940
01:18:54,666 --> 01:18:58,233
and then try something else
until there was the right fit.
1941
01:18:58,233 --> 01:19:01,700
And, in society,
you don't get to do that.
1942
01:19:01,700 --> 01:19:05,533
So Donald was afforded
the chance to be successful,
1943
01:19:05,533 --> 01:19:07,733
and he was successful.
1944
01:19:07,733 --> 01:19:09,333
♪ ♪
1945
01:19:09,333 --> 01:19:10,633
And that would be
1946
01:19:10,633 --> 01:19:13,633
perfect for everyone
on the spectrum,
1947
01:19:13,633 --> 01:19:16,333
but there just aren't
enough situations like that.
1948
01:19:16,333 --> 01:19:19,400
At least not yet.
1949
01:19:19,400 --> 01:19:23,066
♪ ♪
1950
01:19:23,066 --> 01:19:26,066
I'm excited for
Mom and Molly to come.
1951
01:19:26,066 --> 01:19:27,466
Where could they be?
1952
01:19:27,466 --> 01:19:29,166
Are they far or near?
1953
01:19:29,166 --> 01:19:30,333
That's them.
1954
01:19:30,333 --> 01:19:31,666
False alarm.
1955
01:19:33,500 --> 01:19:35,300
There they are.
1956
01:19:35,300 --> 01:19:37,600
And that's them!
1957
01:19:37,600 --> 01:19:40,400
Mom and Molly.
1958
01:19:40,400 --> 01:19:44,433
♪ ♪
1959
01:19:46,466 --> 01:19:49,866
MOLLY: Hi!
- Hello, Mols.
1960
01:19:49,866 --> 01:19:51,066
- Hi!
- Hello.
1961
01:19:51,066 --> 01:19:52,800
- How are you?
- I'm fine.
1962
01:19:52,800 --> 01:19:55,066
- Hey Mickey!
- Hello.
1963
01:19:55,066 --> 01:19:56,366
- Hi, honey.
- Hello.
1964
01:19:56,366 --> 01:19:57,533
- How are you?
1965
01:19:57,533 --> 01:19:59,133
- Fine.
- Mickey, you look...
1966
01:19:59,133 --> 01:20:01,166
What is that?
Where's the beard?
1967
01:20:01,166 --> 01:20:04,233
- So-- so, maybe-- so I was
trying to look forward
1968
01:20:04,233 --> 01:20:06,566
to go into Saheed's.
- Okay.
1969
01:20:06,566 --> 01:20:09,333
- That's the name of the barber.
- That's the barber.
1970
01:20:09,333 --> 01:20:10,933
CAREN:
Who's graduating today?
1971
01:20:10,933 --> 01:20:12,700
MICKEY: I am.
1972
01:20:12,700 --> 01:20:14,466
- That's not right.
1973
01:20:15,466 --> 01:20:17,566
MOLLY: Sara or Zara?
1974
01:20:17,566 --> 01:20:19,066
- I'll surprise you.
1975
01:20:19,066 --> 01:20:20,466
- This is his new
jacket that he bought.
1976
01:20:20,466 --> 01:20:22,966
- It looks like...
- At least, it looks like one.
1977
01:20:22,966 --> 01:20:24,433
- Mickey,
there's a hanger on it.
1978
01:20:24,433 --> 01:20:25,466
(laughing): Mickey!
- Mickey!
1979
01:20:25,466 --> 01:20:27,633
(rustling, crinkling)
1980
01:20:27,633 --> 01:20:28,966
- Lolli, lollipop,
1981
01:20:28,966 --> 01:20:32,366
from Zara.
- (chuckling)
1982
01:20:32,366 --> 01:20:34,300
I love this wrap.
1983
01:20:34,300 --> 01:20:35,400
I'm a cat.
1984
01:20:35,400 --> 01:20:36,700
Meow, check me-owt.
I'm a cat.
1985
01:20:36,700 --> 01:20:38,033
Meow, check me-owt.
1986
01:20:39,000 --> 01:20:40,233
Just know
that there's gonna be
1987
01:20:40,233 --> 01:20:41,766
a lot of people here, right?
1988
01:20:41,766 --> 01:20:43,133
CAREN: Mickey was
taking life skill classes
1989
01:20:43,133 --> 01:20:45,033
at the local community college
1990
01:20:45,033 --> 01:20:46,200
with students from
his First Place program.
1991
01:20:46,200 --> 01:20:47,500
MAN: Any other questions?
1992
01:20:47,500 --> 01:20:48,700
CAREN:
And they were invited
1993
01:20:48,700 --> 01:20:50,366
to be part of
the spring commencement.
1994
01:20:50,366 --> 01:20:52,200
WOMAN:
Today is the big day, guys.
1995
01:20:52,200 --> 01:20:57,300
("Pomp and Circumstance"
playing)
1996
01:20:57,300 --> 01:20:58,800
♪ ♪
1997
01:20:58,800 --> 01:21:00,200
CAREN:
We were really looking forward
1998
01:21:00,200 --> 01:21:02,733
to Mickey's graduation.
1999
01:21:02,733 --> 01:21:05,366
He really worked so hard
to get there.
2000
01:21:05,366 --> 01:21:07,933
♪ ♪
2001
01:21:07,933 --> 01:21:09,833
I was so proud of him.
2002
01:21:09,833 --> 01:21:11,266
MICKEY:
Too many people.
2003
01:21:13,666 --> 01:21:16,033
I felt a little bit overwhelmed.
2004
01:21:16,033 --> 01:21:18,766
When is it gonna end,
this graduation ceremony?
2005
01:21:18,766 --> 01:21:21,800
CAREN:
Graduation day was
2006
01:21:21,800 --> 01:21:24,033
incredibly painful for Mickey.
2007
01:21:24,033 --> 01:21:26,200
(applause, "Pomp
and Circumstance" continues)
2008
01:21:26,200 --> 01:21:28,366
MAN: Michael Goodrich
McGuinness.
2009
01:21:28,366 --> 01:21:32,633
(applause)
2010
01:21:32,633 --> 01:21:34,866
CAREN: You know,
it was really hard
2011
01:21:34,866 --> 01:21:37,333
to watch him struggle so much.
2012
01:21:37,333 --> 01:21:40,300
MICKEY:
I can't sit there anymore.
2013
01:21:41,400 --> 01:21:44,366
- What's wrong?
- My head is hurting.
2014
01:21:44,366 --> 01:21:46,533
- Your head is hurting?
- Yes.
2015
01:21:46,533 --> 01:21:48,133
- Can you just
not sit there anymore?
2016
01:21:48,133 --> 01:21:49,500
- I can't sit there anymore.
2017
01:21:49,500 --> 01:21:52,900
- Well, it's almost over, right?
- Yes, yes.
2018
01:21:52,900 --> 01:21:55,366
(applause)
- You don't look very happy.
2019
01:21:55,366 --> 01:21:56,800
- Because I was-- I was
overwhelmed.
2020
01:21:56,800 --> 01:21:58,700
- All right,
but now you're okay?
2021
01:21:58,700 --> 01:21:59,933
- A little bit.
2022
01:21:59,933 --> 01:22:02,233
(loud cheering)
2023
01:22:02,233 --> 01:22:04,100
- So, see if you can
stick it out,
2024
01:22:04,100 --> 01:22:05,333
because at the end
you get to throw up your hat.
2025
01:22:05,333 --> 01:22:07,133
- Yeah.
- Can you try?
2026
01:22:07,133 --> 01:22:08,400
- I don't know.
(cheering)
2027
01:22:08,400 --> 01:22:09,400
- What?
- I don't know.
2028
01:22:09,400 --> 01:22:10,500
- Try.
2029
01:22:10,500 --> 01:22:11,933
I'm here if you need me.
- Okay.
2030
01:22:11,933 --> 01:22:14,100
♪ ♪
2031
01:22:14,100 --> 01:22:15,433
(applause)
2032
01:22:15,433 --> 01:22:16,833
MAN: Let me show you
the program.
2033
01:22:17,866 --> 01:22:19,133
See where we're at?
- Yes.
2034
01:22:19,133 --> 01:22:21,966
- We're right here.
- That's all it gets.
2035
01:22:21,966 --> 01:22:23,700
I don't wanna wear
a stupid gown anyways.
2036
01:22:23,700 --> 01:22:24,733
- MOLLY: Mickey,
Mickey, come on.
2037
01:22:24,733 --> 01:22:26,000
It's almost time.
2038
01:22:26,000 --> 01:22:27,800
(cheers and applause)
2039
01:22:27,800 --> 01:22:30,100
- I'm choosing not to
wear a stupid gown anyways.
2040
01:22:30,100 --> 01:22:31,333
(announcer speaking)
2041
01:22:31,333 --> 01:22:32,533
(cheers and applause)
2042
01:22:34,333 --> 01:22:36,033
- What don't you
like about graduation?
2043
01:22:36,033 --> 01:22:39,233
- It's too long.
- Too long, what else?
2044
01:22:39,233 --> 01:22:40,266
Maybe...
2045
01:22:40,266 --> 01:22:41,866
too what?
Too many what?
2046
01:22:41,866 --> 01:22:43,233
- Too many people.
- Too many people.
2047
01:22:43,233 --> 01:22:45,100
- So if I-- so if
there's another graduation,
2048
01:22:45,100 --> 01:22:47,033
I won't attend it.
- Yeah.
2049
01:22:47,033 --> 01:22:49,633
- I didn't want to
wear a silly cap and gown.
2050
01:22:49,633 --> 01:22:51,633
- Well, I have a graduation in
May.
2051
01:22:51,633 --> 01:22:53,033
Maybe you'll come or no?
2052
01:22:53,033 --> 01:22:55,033
- So maybe try not to.
2053
01:22:55,033 --> 01:22:56,700
- You'll try not to come, okay.
- Yeah.
2054
01:22:56,700 --> 01:22:57,966
- That's okay with me.
2055
01:22:57,966 --> 01:22:59,633
Can I send you a picture
of me in my cap and gown?
2056
01:22:59,633 --> 01:23:01,766
CAREN:
You know, I really didn't know
2057
01:23:01,766 --> 01:23:04,333
what was the right thing to do.
2058
01:23:04,333 --> 01:23:05,933
I could have just let it go,
2059
01:23:05,933 --> 01:23:07,533
but I thought
it was really important.
2060
01:23:07,533 --> 01:23:08,533
(on-screen): You did great.
- Yes.
2061
01:23:08,533 --> 01:23:09,800
- You stuck it out.
- Yes.
2062
01:23:09,800 --> 01:23:11,033
- Okay?
- Yes.
2063
01:23:11,033 --> 01:23:12,166
- I'm proud of you.
- Yes.
2064
01:23:12,166 --> 01:23:13,400
- All right?
- Yes.
2065
01:23:13,400 --> 01:23:15,500
- I love you.
- Love you.
2066
01:23:15,500 --> 01:23:17,266
CAREN:
Like any other parent,
2067
01:23:17,266 --> 01:23:19,333
I wanted him to know that
he could get through things
2068
01:23:19,333 --> 01:23:21,700
that are hard to get through.
2069
01:23:22,700 --> 01:23:24,300
But as Mickey always does,
he teaches me
2070
01:23:24,300 --> 01:23:26,400
what's important to him.
2071
01:23:26,400 --> 01:23:28,333
(on-screen):
What'd you do with your...
2072
01:23:28,333 --> 01:23:30,066
your gown?
- I threw it out.
2073
01:23:30,066 --> 01:23:33,866
CAREN: And graduations just
don't have meaning for him.
2074
01:23:33,866 --> 01:23:36,833
He doesn't need
that external validation.
2075
01:23:36,833 --> 01:23:37,966
MICKEY:
Let's get ice cream first.
2076
01:23:37,966 --> 01:23:39,600
CAREN: Okay,
we'll get ice cream.
2077
01:23:39,600 --> 01:23:41,933
♪ ♪
2078
01:23:41,933 --> 01:23:43,366
MARTHA: Well, there we are,
2079
01:23:43,366 --> 01:23:46,333
seniors of '53.
2080
01:23:46,333 --> 01:23:48,100
JOBYNA: There you are.
2081
01:23:48,100 --> 01:23:51,500
This is Martha, that's me.
2082
01:23:51,500 --> 01:23:53,033
- Oh yeah, let's see.
2083
01:23:53,033 --> 01:23:55,400
"Don, you have much ability,
2084
01:23:55,400 --> 01:23:59,833
and in the past
you have put it to good use."
2085
01:23:59,833 --> 01:24:02,900
Mine has like,
"To a wonderful classmate,
2086
01:24:02,900 --> 01:24:05,333
all the luck in the world
to you."
2087
01:24:05,333 --> 01:24:06,466
That's what I wrote.
2088
01:24:06,466 --> 01:24:08,666
But I can't
read the rest of it...
2089
01:24:08,666 --> 01:24:10,133
- (laughs)
- Because it's faded.
2090
01:24:10,133 --> 01:24:12,233
- Now that's Donald Gray.
2091
01:24:12,233 --> 01:24:13,900
I just love this--
2092
01:24:13,900 --> 01:24:16,066
"I wish myself luck."
2093
01:24:16,066 --> 01:24:17,400
(laughs)
- Yeah.
2094
01:24:17,400 --> 01:24:18,766
Isn't that good?
2095
01:24:18,766 --> 01:24:19,900
- That's what
Don wrote to himself.
2096
01:24:19,900 --> 01:24:21,933
- "I wish myself..."
2097
01:24:21,933 --> 01:24:23,966
- "I wish myself luck. D.G."
2098
01:24:23,966 --> 01:24:26,266
- (laughing):
I just adore that.
2099
01:24:26,266 --> 01:24:28,900
CAREN:
Donald really did get lucky.
2100
01:24:28,900 --> 01:24:32,266
For a lot of
people on the spectrum,
2101
01:24:32,266 --> 01:24:35,233
school is the most
painful time for friendship.
2102
01:24:35,233 --> 01:24:37,333
I was just different, and...
2103
01:24:37,333 --> 01:24:39,766
they just didn't understand
that.
2104
01:24:39,766 --> 01:24:41,466
I was beat up,
2105
01:24:41,466 --> 01:24:43,600
people said mean things to me.
2106
01:24:43,600 --> 01:24:45,900
I think that there is
a specialness to
2107
01:24:45,900 --> 01:24:47,400
the bullying that children on
2108
01:24:47,400 --> 01:24:49,133
the autism spectrum experience,
because we don't always
2109
01:24:49,133 --> 01:24:50,433
know that we're being bullied.
2110
01:24:51,466 --> 01:24:55,433
CAREN: Amy Gravino is this
really cool person,
2111
01:24:55,433 --> 01:24:57,900
and she speaks
honestly and openly
2112
01:24:57,900 --> 01:25:00,533
about her experience
as a woman with autism.
2113
01:25:00,533 --> 01:25:02,000
And I decided that
he was the one
2114
01:25:02,000 --> 01:25:03,500
I was gonna
lose my virginity to...
2115
01:25:03,500 --> 01:25:05,166
CAREN:
And she's known best for
2116
01:25:05,166 --> 01:25:07,233
her talks on sex and autism.
2117
01:25:07,233 --> 01:25:08,266
And I thought,
well, you know,
2118
01:25:08,266 --> 01:25:09,633
when you stay in a hotel,
2119
01:25:09,633 --> 01:25:11,133
or you eat at a restaurant,
sometimes they have
2120
01:25:11,133 --> 01:25:12,366
these cards you can fill out
2121
01:25:12,366 --> 01:25:14,633
to say what
your experience was like...
2122
01:25:14,633 --> 01:25:16,333
CAREN: And she tells
this one really funny story
2123
01:25:16,333 --> 01:25:20,233
about what she did the morning
after she lost her virginity.
2124
01:25:20,233 --> 01:25:23,166
So I created a sexual
intercourse comment card.
2125
01:25:23,166 --> 01:25:27,633
(group laughs)
2126
01:25:27,633 --> 01:25:29,233
And...
2127
01:25:29,233 --> 01:25:30,466
(laughter continues)
2128
01:25:30,466 --> 01:25:32,033
These were
the questions on the back,
2129
01:25:32,033 --> 01:25:35,000
so it's a little
hard to read all of them.
2130
01:25:35,000 --> 01:25:36,900
So, "What did you enjoy most
about this sex session?
2131
01:25:36,900 --> 01:25:38,400
"What did you think
could have been better?
2132
01:25:38,400 --> 01:25:40,033
"What happened that you would
like to have happen again?
2133
01:25:40,033 --> 01:25:42,100
"Please rate the following
from one to five:
2134
01:25:42,100 --> 01:25:43,700
the outfit I had on,
my facial expression..."
2135
01:25:43,700 --> 01:25:44,833
(voiceover):
If you were to
2136
01:25:44,833 --> 01:25:46,300
look at photographs of me
growing up,
2137
01:25:46,300 --> 01:25:47,333
you would, for a while,
2138
01:25:47,333 --> 01:25:48,566
you'd see
a very happy little girl.
2139
01:25:48,566 --> 01:25:49,833
You'd see a girl with
2140
01:25:49,833 --> 01:25:52,366
out of control curly hair,
and then a girl
2141
01:25:52,366 --> 01:25:54,966
who gradually,
by the time she was
2142
01:25:54,966 --> 01:25:57,366
around 12, 13,
stopped smiling.
2143
01:25:57,366 --> 01:26:01,366
Even though I was
diagnosed at the age of 11,
2144
01:26:01,366 --> 01:26:04,100
the word autism didn't really
mean anything at that point.
2145
01:26:04,100 --> 01:26:06,766
I only knew that I was different
and that different was bad.
2146
01:26:06,766 --> 01:26:09,266
That was the response
that I received from my peers.
2147
01:26:09,266 --> 01:26:11,266
"You're weird, you're a freak,
you're a retard,
2148
01:26:11,266 --> 01:26:13,733
you're a loser, you're ugly."
2149
01:26:13,733 --> 01:26:16,100
These were the things
that I heard on a daily basis.
2150
01:26:16,100 --> 01:26:19,300
And what ended up happening
was that the voices of my peers
2151
01:26:19,300 --> 01:26:21,033
became the voice in my own head.
2152
01:26:21,033 --> 01:26:23,033
But all of the--
all of my feelings
2153
01:26:23,033 --> 01:26:24,133
about myself at that point
2154
01:26:24,133 --> 01:26:25,466
were things that I didn't like.
2155
01:26:25,466 --> 01:26:27,400
I couldn't...
2156
01:26:27,400 --> 01:26:28,700
(sniffles)
2157
01:26:28,700 --> 01:26:31,033
I couldn't point out
things that I did like.
2158
01:26:32,966 --> 01:26:35,600
And there wasn't
a whole person there.
2159
01:26:35,600 --> 01:26:38,300
And...
2160
01:26:38,300 --> 01:26:39,533
And I wanted to die,
2161
01:26:39,533 --> 01:26:41,466
because I couldn't
think of another way out.
2162
01:26:44,233 --> 01:26:46,600
My mother says that I came
home from school one day,
2163
01:26:46,600 --> 01:26:47,833
took off my backpack,
2164
01:26:47,833 --> 01:26:49,900
and said,
"I feel like killing myself."
2165
01:26:49,900 --> 01:26:54,933
♪ ♪
2166
01:26:57,533 --> 01:26:59,533
It was so bad that, you know,
2167
01:26:59,533 --> 01:27:01,200
I would come home from school
every day crying.
2168
01:27:01,200 --> 01:27:03,633
Yeah, I mean,
I kind of block it out.
2169
01:27:03,633 --> 01:27:05,000
♪ ♪
2170
01:27:05,000 --> 01:27:06,300
GRAVINO:
I remember the people
2171
01:27:06,300 --> 01:27:07,600
who stood up for me.
2172
01:27:07,600 --> 01:27:10,000
(on-screen, laughing):
Here, hey! Down here!
2173
01:27:10,000 --> 01:27:11,600
Stand up for someone who
can't stand up for themselves.
2174
01:27:11,600 --> 01:27:13,700
You know, lift them,
2175
01:27:13,700 --> 01:27:15,366
instead of
putting them under your foot.
2176
01:27:15,366 --> 01:27:17,966
So you may think that,
like, what you're saying
2177
01:27:17,966 --> 01:27:20,333
may not make a difference,
in... to this person,
2178
01:27:20,333 --> 01:27:22,366
but believe me it makes
all the difference in the world,
2179
01:27:22,366 --> 01:27:24,066
and they will
carry that with them
2180
01:27:24,066 --> 01:27:26,200
for the rest of their lives.
2181
01:27:26,200 --> 01:27:31,233
Hi guys, my name is Benny,
and this is my friend Jensen.
2182
01:27:31,233 --> 01:27:34,866
So we will be doing
a prank on Jensen today.
2183
01:27:34,866 --> 01:27:36,400
CAREN:
Benny and Jensen
2184
01:27:36,400 --> 01:27:39,566
showed me an example of
friendship the way it can be.
2185
01:27:39,566 --> 01:27:43,233
One of them is on the spectrum,
the other isn't.
2186
01:27:43,233 --> 01:27:44,800
- Now you're stuck.
2187
01:27:44,800 --> 01:27:47,233
(both laughing)
2188
01:27:47,233 --> 01:27:49,700
- That's how you do
the water bottle prank.
2189
01:27:49,700 --> 01:27:51,066
Let's do it again.
(splashing)
2190
01:27:51,066 --> 01:27:52,300
Go.
2191
01:27:52,300 --> 01:27:55,266
DANNY:
Benny and Jensen met
2192
01:27:55,266 --> 01:27:56,966
really early on in
the pre-school.
2193
01:27:56,966 --> 01:28:00,866
- (laughing): Wow! Wow!
2194
01:28:00,866 --> 01:28:02,666
We don't separate
kids with autism
2195
01:28:02,666 --> 01:28:04,400
from typically developing kids.
2196
01:28:04,400 --> 01:28:06,933
They're fully and intentionally
integrated together.
2197
01:28:06,933 --> 01:28:07,966
(kids singing indistinctly)
2198
01:28:07,966 --> 01:28:09,700
Most bikes have one seat,
2199
01:28:09,700 --> 01:28:10,900
right?
2200
01:28:10,900 --> 01:28:12,133
But if you have
a bike with two seats,
2201
01:28:12,133 --> 01:28:14,433
you actually
create opportunities there,
2202
01:28:14,433 --> 01:28:15,666
to facilitate that interaction.
2203
01:28:15,666 --> 01:28:18,166
And that's
not an accident, right?
2204
01:28:18,166 --> 01:28:20,366
Our lunch boxes are
already put out on the table,
2205
01:28:20,366 --> 01:28:22,833
so kids find
their lunchbox and sit down.
2206
01:28:22,833 --> 01:28:24,066
What that allows us to do
2207
01:28:24,066 --> 01:28:25,966
is make sure
that every child with autism has
2208
01:28:25,966 --> 01:28:28,233
a typically developing child
on each side of them.
2209
01:28:28,233 --> 01:28:30,233
Here comes Sam.
2210
01:28:30,233 --> 01:28:31,666
(voiceover):
So it becomes more about
2211
01:28:31,666 --> 01:28:33,066
the activity
2212
01:28:33,066 --> 01:28:35,966
than it does about who does
and doesn't have autism.
2213
01:28:35,966 --> 01:28:37,266
(kids playing)
2214
01:28:37,266 --> 01:28:39,833
We're not looking for
typically developing kids
2215
01:28:39,833 --> 01:28:42,100
to charitably
be nice to our kids.
2216
01:28:42,100 --> 01:28:43,266
We want them to see
2217
01:28:43,266 --> 01:28:44,933
the value that kids with autism
2218
01:28:44,933 --> 01:28:46,166
bring to the relationship.
2219
01:28:46,166 --> 01:28:48,000
And that's what's
really special about
2220
01:28:48,000 --> 01:28:49,466
Benny and Jensen.
2221
01:28:49,466 --> 01:28:51,900
They've been graduated
from our school for two years,
2222
01:28:51,900 --> 01:28:54,033
but have remained friends.
2223
01:28:54,033 --> 01:28:55,700
Benny's mom found
2224
01:28:55,700 --> 01:28:57,800
this letter in her
son's backpack
2225
01:28:57,800 --> 01:29:00,366
and came in
and shared it with me.
2226
01:29:00,366 --> 01:29:02,500
And it's kind of
an "I'm thankful" letter.
2227
01:29:02,500 --> 01:29:03,933
So it says, "Dear blank,"
2228
01:29:03,933 --> 01:29:07,033
and he fills in Jensen,
so "Dear Jensen."
2229
01:29:07,033 --> 01:29:09,800
And it says, "I am thankful
for you because
2230
01:29:09,800 --> 01:29:10,900
when I was feeling..."
2231
01:29:10,900 --> 01:29:12,766
and he filled in the word
"scared,"
2232
01:29:12,766 --> 01:29:16,066
"You made me feel unscared
2233
01:29:16,066 --> 01:29:19,766
"by playing
with me at your birthday.
2234
01:29:19,766 --> 01:29:22,266
"Thank you for
always being my best friend
2235
01:29:22,266 --> 01:29:24,433
"forever and ever and ever.
2236
01:29:24,433 --> 01:29:26,100
From, your friend Benny."
2237
01:29:26,100 --> 01:29:27,633
And what's so cool about that
2238
01:29:27,633 --> 01:29:30,333
is you'd almost think
this is the kind of letter
2239
01:29:30,333 --> 01:29:31,933
coming from the kid with autism
2240
01:29:31,933 --> 01:29:33,966
to the typically developing kid.
2241
01:29:33,966 --> 01:29:36,133
But this letter is coming from
the typically developing kid
2242
01:29:36,133 --> 01:29:37,633
to the child with autism.
2243
01:29:37,633 --> 01:29:41,100
And it's been a really impactful
relationship for both boys.
2244
01:29:41,100 --> 01:29:44,100
Those skills
are there for both of them,
2245
01:29:44,100 --> 01:29:45,600
and once the skills are there,
2246
01:29:45,600 --> 01:29:46,933
and they keep
interacting with autism
2247
01:29:46,933 --> 01:29:48,100
over the course of their life,
2248
01:29:48,100 --> 01:29:50,600
I think
they become the ambassadors
2249
01:29:50,600 --> 01:29:53,366
that we want to help build
a very supportive community
2250
01:29:53,366 --> 01:29:56,266
for people with autism.
- Thanks for sharing!
2251
01:29:56,266 --> 01:29:58,433
- See you all tonight maybe.
2252
01:29:58,433 --> 01:29:59,933
- All right.
Have a good afternoon.
2253
01:29:59,933 --> 01:30:01,133
- All right.
2254
01:30:01,133 --> 01:30:03,866
DANNY: You know,
even to go back to Donald,
2255
01:30:03,866 --> 01:30:04,900
they practice
interacting with Donald
2256
01:30:04,900 --> 01:30:07,266
on a regular, routine basis.
2257
01:30:07,266 --> 01:30:09,100
That's why they have
a supportive community there,
2258
01:30:09,100 --> 01:30:11,733
because they constantly
had the opportunity
2259
01:30:11,733 --> 01:30:14,066
to interact
with somebody with autism.
2260
01:30:14,066 --> 01:30:15,800
And we have to do the same
thing with the communities
2261
01:30:15,800 --> 01:30:17,900
that we're working in
across the world.
2262
01:30:17,900 --> 01:30:20,100
We have to repeatedly
get people with autism
2263
01:30:20,100 --> 01:30:23,733
out into our community,
so that we have lots of exposure
2264
01:30:23,733 --> 01:30:25,633
and opportunity to learn from
2265
01:30:25,633 --> 01:30:27,466
and interact
with people with autism.
2266
01:30:27,466 --> 01:30:29,666
That's what's
gonna make the difference.
2267
01:30:29,666 --> 01:30:31,366
CAREN:
When Mickey was growing up,
2268
01:30:31,366 --> 01:30:33,233
he didn't have many friends,
2269
01:30:33,233 --> 01:30:35,066
even though there were always
people who were nice to him.
2270
01:30:35,066 --> 01:30:37,800
- So, what
do you think of Scrabble?
2271
01:30:37,800 --> 01:30:39,833
CAREN:
But the kind of friend who...
2272
01:30:39,833 --> 01:30:41,700
- Should we play it
when we get back?
2273
01:30:41,700 --> 01:30:43,733
CAREN: ...who just
wants to be around you
2274
01:30:43,733 --> 01:30:44,966
because of who you are...
2275
01:30:44,966 --> 01:30:46,133
- Are you there?
- Yeah.
2276
01:30:46,133 --> 01:30:47,600
- Should we play Scrabble
when we get back?
2277
01:30:47,600 --> 01:30:50,633
CAREN: ...that was a rarity.
2278
01:30:50,633 --> 01:30:51,966
But in the last few years,
2279
01:30:51,966 --> 01:30:54,566
Mickey has made
those kinds of friendships.
2280
01:30:54,566 --> 01:30:57,100
- Good one.
2281
01:30:57,100 --> 01:31:00,533
CAREN: His friend Matt,
he only speaks about 90 words.
2282
01:31:00,533 --> 01:31:03,433
But Mickey, Mickey
more than makes up for that,
2283
01:31:03,433 --> 01:31:06,166
and they've
become really close friends.
2284
01:31:06,166 --> 01:31:08,300
They have a real connection.
2285
01:31:08,300 --> 01:31:10,933
And they play Scrabble
all the time,
2286
01:31:10,933 --> 01:31:13,666
and Matt orchestrates
all of his answers
2287
01:31:13,666 --> 01:31:16,133
so that every game
will end in a tie.
2288
01:31:16,133 --> 01:31:19,566
- Thank you. I thought that
wasn't in the dictionary.
2289
01:31:19,566 --> 01:31:21,933
CAREN:
Mickey really likes to win,
2290
01:31:21,933 --> 01:31:24,966
but he also cheers for Matt.
- Good one.
2291
01:31:24,966 --> 01:31:30,566
CAREN: In some ways, it's Mickey
who has to go more than halfway.
2292
01:31:32,600 --> 01:31:34,933
Of course there's
one kind of relationship
2293
01:31:34,933 --> 01:31:38,466
that is way more complicated, no
matter who you are.
2294
01:31:38,466 --> 01:31:41,400
She likes cats like me.
2295
01:31:41,400 --> 01:31:42,766
- She likes cats?
2296
01:31:42,766 --> 01:31:44,066
Oh, that's perfect,
does she own a cat?
2297
01:31:44,066 --> 01:31:46,366
- She likes to do
impressions of cats.
2298
01:31:46,366 --> 01:31:48,400
- Oh so she meows for you?
- Yes.
2299
01:31:48,400 --> 01:31:50,500
- And do you purr?
- I purr.
2300
01:31:50,500 --> 01:31:51,800
- You purr when she meows?
- Yes.
2301
01:31:51,800 --> 01:31:54,566
- Do you have a crush on her?
- I do, meow.
2302
01:31:54,566 --> 01:31:56,966
- Oh, see, I can tell you like
her because you meowed after.
2303
01:31:56,966 --> 01:31:58,500
- Yes.
2304
01:31:58,500 --> 01:32:00,633
- Do you want her to be
your girlfriend?
2305
01:32:00,633 --> 01:32:02,633
- I want her to be
my girlfriend.
2306
01:32:02,633 --> 01:32:04,366
- Yeah. Maybe we could
come up with a few ways
2307
01:32:04,366 --> 01:32:05,400
to try to get her
to be your girlfriend?
2308
01:32:05,400 --> 01:32:08,466
- Yeah.
Just three roses please.
2309
01:32:08,466 --> 01:32:10,266
- He wants to get three roses
for a special friend of his.
2310
01:32:10,266 --> 01:32:11,266
- Okay.
2311
01:32:11,266 --> 01:32:13,000
- I think that's a good choice,
2312
01:32:13,000 --> 01:32:14,400
I think she'll like 'em.
- Yes.
2313
01:32:14,400 --> 01:32:15,700
- Do you wanna get her
a card too?
2314
01:32:15,700 --> 01:32:17,800
- Okay.
- I think we should.
2315
01:32:17,800 --> 01:32:20,000
So which one should we get her?
- This one.
2316
01:32:20,000 --> 01:32:22,466
- Well, do you wanna
look at them first?
2317
01:32:22,466 --> 01:32:24,800
What does that say?
"Happy anniversary"?
2318
01:32:24,800 --> 01:32:27,533
Well, it's not your anniversary,
is it?
2319
01:32:27,533 --> 01:32:29,600
- "It's a girl!"
2320
01:32:29,600 --> 01:32:32,400
- Nope, she's not having a baby.
2321
01:32:32,400 --> 01:32:34,100
- "Thinking of you."
2322
01:32:34,100 --> 01:32:35,566
- "Thinking of you,"
I like that one.
2323
01:32:35,566 --> 01:32:37,100
All right we'll get that one.
- Yes.
2324
01:32:39,400 --> 01:32:41,133
- All right?
- Yeah, thank you.
2325
01:32:41,133 --> 01:32:42,400
- Do you think she'll like them?
2326
01:32:42,400 --> 01:32:44,466
- ♪ She'll love them. ♪
2327
01:32:46,366 --> 01:32:48,533
CAREN:
And I don't know if this crush
2328
01:32:48,533 --> 01:32:50,700
will ever turn into anything.
2329
01:32:50,700 --> 01:32:55,266
But, as his mom,
I, I hope he finds somebody.
2330
01:32:59,600 --> 01:33:03,133
♪ ♪
2331
01:33:03,133 --> 01:33:06,866
It's really such a simple thing.
2332
01:33:06,866 --> 01:33:09,500
Not charity, but real
friendship.
2333
01:33:09,500 --> 01:33:10,766
(laughter)
2334
01:33:10,766 --> 01:33:13,200
My friend Peter Gerhardt,
2335
01:33:13,200 --> 01:33:14,200
who works
with people with autism...
2336
01:33:14,200 --> 01:33:17,033
- What's up, A.J.!?
2337
01:33:17,033 --> 01:33:19,300
CAREN: ...shared his really
lovely take on how much
2338
01:33:19,300 --> 01:33:21,966
we get back in return.
2339
01:33:21,966 --> 01:33:26,533
He said, "If you want to truly
understand human emotion,
2340
01:33:26,533 --> 01:33:29,200
"you should hang out
with someone on the spectrum.
2341
01:33:29,200 --> 01:33:32,366
"If someone with autism
is happy,
2342
01:33:32,366 --> 01:33:35,333
"there is no hiding
they're happy.
2343
01:33:35,333 --> 01:33:37,333
"If someone with autism is sad,
2344
01:33:37,333 --> 01:33:40,300
"there's no
disguising their sadness.
2345
01:33:40,300 --> 01:33:43,300
"If someone
with autism likes you,
2346
01:33:43,300 --> 01:33:46,500
"then they just like you,
2347
01:33:46,500 --> 01:33:49,533
"with no other agenda.
2348
01:33:49,533 --> 01:33:53,833
It is one of the most beautiful
things about autism."
2349
01:33:53,833 --> 01:33:58,866
♪ ♪
2350
01:34:02,400 --> 01:34:03,733
Do you know
how old Donald is, Mickey?
2351
01:34:03,733 --> 01:34:05,166
MICKEY: How old is he?
2352
01:34:05,166 --> 01:34:07,100
- He's 84 years old.
- 84?
2353
01:34:07,100 --> 01:34:08,266
- Yeah.
- He's old.
2354
01:34:08,266 --> 01:34:09,733
- He's old.
2355
01:34:09,733 --> 01:34:14,666
The 84th element on
the periodic table is Polonium.
2356
01:34:14,666 --> 01:34:17,433
Why are we talking
about the periodic tables?
2357
01:34:17,433 --> 01:34:19,266
- Since he's 84.
- Ah!
2358
01:34:19,266 --> 01:34:21,333
So what do you think
you'll say...
2359
01:34:21,333 --> 01:34:22,500
what are you gonna say
to Donald?
2360
01:34:22,500 --> 01:34:23,866
(phone ringing)
2361
01:34:23,866 --> 01:34:25,500
Who's that?
- It's Donald!
2362
01:34:25,500 --> 01:34:26,933
- Oh! Answer it.
2363
01:34:26,933 --> 01:34:28,966
- Hello.
- Put it on speaker.
2364
01:34:28,966 --> 01:34:31,400
DONALD (on phone): Hi Caren.
How are you doing?
2365
01:34:31,400 --> 01:34:32,866
- Hi Donald.
2366
01:34:32,866 --> 01:34:36,433
DONALD (stammering):
Are you having trouble
2367
01:34:36,433 --> 01:34:37,933
finding this place?
2368
01:34:37,933 --> 01:34:39,366
- Yeah,
we're almost there, I think.
2369
01:34:39,366 --> 01:34:43,100
♪ ♪
2370
01:34:43,100 --> 01:34:46,133
So while I wanted Mickey
to meet Donald,
2371
01:34:46,133 --> 01:34:48,766
because Donald really is
a part of history...
2372
01:34:48,766 --> 01:34:50,633
Donald! Hey!
2373
01:34:50,633 --> 01:34:51,700
Hey, how are you doing?
2374
01:34:51,700 --> 01:34:53,266
- I'm good. I want you to meet--
2375
01:34:53,266 --> 01:34:55,133
- Hey Mickey!
- What's up?
2376
01:34:55,133 --> 01:34:57,366
CAREN (voiceover):
...I wasn't expecting anything
2377
01:34:57,366 --> 01:35:00,766
dramatic to happen
when they finally did meet.
2378
01:35:00,766 --> 01:35:02,100
I know Mickey.
2379
01:35:02,100 --> 01:35:05,366
And even though in general
he's pretty chatty,
2380
01:35:05,366 --> 01:35:09,266
he can easily get shy
when he meets new people,
2381
01:35:09,266 --> 01:35:14,233
and their meeting was awkward,
which didn't really surprise me.
2382
01:35:14,233 --> 01:35:15,600
(onscreen): So I've been
wanting you guys
2383
01:35:15,600 --> 01:35:17,700
to meet forever.
- Yeah. Uh-uh.
2384
01:35:17,700 --> 01:35:19,833
- You two finally meet.
- I love it.
2385
01:35:19,833 --> 01:35:22,800
- Tell him what you like to do.
2386
01:35:22,800 --> 01:35:25,466
- I like Disney.
2387
01:35:25,466 --> 01:35:28,400
- (stammering):
Yeah I go to a few museums.
2388
01:35:28,400 --> 01:35:34,300
- And I also love "Inside Out,"
the movie.
2389
01:35:34,300 --> 01:35:36,133
- Oh yes, I like the beach.
2390
01:35:36,133 --> 01:35:39,500
CAREN: I really
appreciated how Donald,
2391
01:35:39,500 --> 01:35:42,800
who is usually quite reserved,
2392
01:35:42,800 --> 01:35:45,066
did a really lovely thing.
2393
01:35:45,066 --> 01:35:47,633
He invited Mickey
to spend time with him,
2394
01:35:47,633 --> 01:35:51,466
doing what he loves to do.
2395
01:35:51,466 --> 01:35:54,466
♪ ♪
2396
01:35:54,466 --> 01:35:57,900
But golf just
isn't Mickey's thing.
2397
01:35:57,900 --> 01:36:05,166
- Hydrogen, helium,
lithium, beryllium, boron...
2398
01:36:05,166 --> 01:36:07,633
- You can use both hands.
2399
01:36:07,633 --> 01:36:09,400
CAREN: And they still
weren't connecting.
2400
01:36:09,400 --> 01:36:12,133
Barium...
(Mickey reciting elements)
2401
01:36:12,133 --> 01:36:15,800
But then something happened,
when Donald had Mickey over
2402
01:36:15,800 --> 01:36:17,033
to watch "Wheel of Fortune."
2403
01:36:17,033 --> 01:36:20,800
They both love that show.
2404
01:36:20,800 --> 01:36:23,800
And they're both
really good at it.
2405
01:36:23,800 --> 01:36:24,933
MICKEY: Reporter for...
2406
01:36:24,933 --> 01:36:27,200
BOTH:
...the student's newspaper.
2407
01:36:27,200 --> 01:36:30,966
- Right. Reporter for
the student newspaper.
2408
01:36:30,966 --> 01:36:33,800
CONTESTANT (on TV): Reporter
for the student newspaper.
2409
01:36:33,800 --> 01:36:35,200
- Got it!
2410
01:36:35,200 --> 01:36:38,000
CAREN: And that was where
I saw them
2411
01:36:38,000 --> 01:36:40,300
really start to connect.
2412
01:36:40,300 --> 01:36:42,133
It was really something,
2413
01:36:42,133 --> 01:36:44,666
to see these two men
with autism,
2414
01:36:44,666 --> 01:36:46,266
from such different worlds.
2415
01:36:46,266 --> 01:36:47,600
- Thanks for getting my contact.
2416
01:36:47,600 --> 01:36:49,233
And, if you call me,
I'll see your number.
2417
01:36:49,233 --> 01:36:53,933
♪ ♪
2418
01:36:57,866 --> 01:37:00,033
We did it.
2419
01:37:00,033 --> 01:37:02,200
- Mickey,
I've enjoyed it very much.
2420
01:37:02,200 --> 01:37:04,933
- Bye.
- Caren, I enjoyed it very much.
2421
01:37:04,933 --> 01:37:07,300
- I'll take a hug.
- Yeah, okay.
2422
01:37:07,300 --> 01:37:08,333
- Thank you so much, D.T.
2423
01:37:08,333 --> 01:37:10,100
- You're certainly welcome.
2424
01:37:10,100 --> 01:37:12,166
All right, C.Z.
(Caren chuckles)
2425
01:37:12,166 --> 01:37:13,666
- I'll see you next time.
2426
01:37:13,666 --> 01:37:15,200
- All right, we'll see ya!
2427
01:37:15,200 --> 01:37:16,500
CAREN (voiceover): I don't
really know
2428
01:37:16,500 --> 01:37:19,766
how much it meant to Mickey
in the moment,
2429
01:37:19,766 --> 01:37:22,533
but I'm pretty sure
he doesn't see the hope
2430
01:37:22,533 --> 01:37:25,633
in Donald's story
the way that I see it,
2431
01:37:25,633 --> 01:37:27,933
how a community can learn
to do right
2432
01:37:27,933 --> 01:37:30,533
by someone who is different.
2433
01:37:30,533 --> 01:37:32,433
(engine starts)
2434
01:37:32,433 --> 01:37:34,800
I know Donald's remarkable life
2435
01:37:34,800 --> 01:37:37,866
is mostly
because of who Donald is,
2436
01:37:37,866 --> 01:37:41,600
but I'm not 100% sure,
that without the support,
2437
01:37:41,600 --> 01:37:46,533
and encouragement and acceptance
and kindness of Forest,
2438
01:37:46,533 --> 01:37:49,600
that Donald would be who
Donald is today.
2439
01:37:50,633 --> 01:37:52,966
Donald Triplett is a happy man.
2440
01:37:52,966 --> 01:37:55,400
♪ ♪
2441
01:38:04,366 --> 01:38:06,200
Here's the funny thing
that's really true.
2442
01:38:06,200 --> 01:38:09,533
Mickey is a happy man too.
2443
01:38:09,533 --> 01:38:10,766
- Got it.
2444
01:38:10,766 --> 01:38:14,933
CAREN: He is a really
happy person,
2445
01:38:14,933 --> 01:38:19,733
he's full of love and laughter,
2446
01:38:19,733 --> 01:38:22,800
and he isn't touched by
some of the struggles that,
2447
01:38:22,800 --> 01:38:28,200
you know, others have to
live with.
2448
01:38:28,200 --> 01:38:31,033
And he's safe right now.
2449
01:38:31,033 --> 01:38:34,833
But my worry is when he gets
outside the door of my home,
2450
01:38:34,833 --> 01:38:39,966
where Donald has found a way
to be a happy man
2451
01:38:39,966 --> 01:38:42,900
in his community,
and throughout his life
2452
01:38:42,900 --> 01:38:44,333
and in his travels...
2453
01:38:44,333 --> 01:38:46,033
(in-person): All toasty, toasty?
- Yeah.
2454
01:38:46,033 --> 01:38:49,100
- Yeah? Okay?
♪ ♪
2455
01:38:49,100 --> 01:38:54,500
You know, I still have hope
that Mickey will have that,
2456
01:38:54,500 --> 01:38:57,766
but I haven't found that yet,
in the world, for him.
2457
01:38:57,766 --> 01:39:02,866
♪ ♪
2458
01:39:05,400 --> 01:39:10,000
♪ ♪
2459
01:39:10,000 --> 01:39:12,533
- Matt, you wanna say
anything else?
2460
01:39:12,533 --> 01:39:14,600
You can say anything, go ahead.
2461
01:39:14,600 --> 01:39:16,166
- Run errands.
2462
01:39:16,166 --> 01:39:19,433
- All right. So Matt wants us
to know what his schedule is,
2463
01:39:19,433 --> 01:39:21,633
and what's next on the schedule,
which is of
2464
01:39:21,633 --> 01:39:24,500
primary importance to him
for today.
2465
01:39:24,500 --> 01:39:25,500
(Matt chuckles)
2466
01:39:25,500 --> 01:39:28,400
♪ ♪
2467
01:39:28,400 --> 01:39:29,433
- I mean, I've always been
2468
01:39:29,433 --> 01:39:33,366
proud to say that I have autism
2469
01:39:33,366 --> 01:39:36,766
because we have so much more
to bring to the table.
2470
01:39:36,766 --> 01:39:41,066
Got people who like play music
and they may be on the spectrum.
2471
01:39:41,066 --> 01:39:43,166
Got people
who might be like good doctors,
2472
01:39:43,166 --> 01:39:45,833
good baseball players,
2473
01:39:45,833 --> 01:39:48,466
we have something to
contribute to society,
2474
01:39:48,466 --> 01:39:49,766
if you give us a chance.
2475
01:39:49,766 --> 01:39:53,166
♪ ♪
2476
01:39:53,166 --> 01:39:54,600
- It's kinda like a
zebra's stripes,
2477
01:39:54,600 --> 01:39:57,366
no two people with autism
are exactly the same.
2478
01:39:57,366 --> 01:39:58,766
There are a bunch
of moving parts to this,
2479
01:39:58,766 --> 01:40:00,333
I mean, autism is just
one of them,
2480
01:40:00,333 --> 01:40:01,833
it's not all of who I am,
2481
01:40:01,833 --> 01:40:03,933
I'm more than that,
I'm Noah, I have...
2482
01:40:03,933 --> 01:40:07,033
I have my hopes,
I have my dreams,
2483
01:40:07,033 --> 01:40:10,333
I have my fears, I have my
feelings just like anyone else.
2484
01:40:10,333 --> 01:40:15,100
♪ ♪
2485
01:40:15,100 --> 01:40:17,166
- We autistic people
have struggles,
2486
01:40:17,166 --> 01:40:21,400
um, but we have to adjust
for others,
2487
01:40:21,400 --> 01:40:24,366
but um... I feel like society
2488
01:40:24,366 --> 01:40:28,500
has to make accommodations
for us as well.
2489
01:40:28,500 --> 01:40:30,333
As much as
people should accommodate
2490
01:40:30,333 --> 01:40:31,633
for people on the spectrum,
2491
01:40:31,633 --> 01:40:34,266
we as self-advocates
should also acknowledge
2492
01:40:34,266 --> 01:40:36,633
that we need
to make some adjustments
2493
01:40:36,633 --> 01:40:39,333
for the other side as well,
and I think once both sides
2494
01:40:39,333 --> 01:40:41,133
starts to make that,
make that leap,
2495
01:40:41,133 --> 01:40:43,533
that's where
the real progress happens.
2496
01:40:43,533 --> 01:40:48,833
♪ ♪
2497
01:40:48,833 --> 01:40:51,533
- What would you like
people to know about you?
2498
01:40:51,533 --> 01:40:55,300
How about,
even though I don't talk,
2499
01:40:55,300 --> 01:40:58,333
there's a lot
going on inside, right?
2500
01:40:58,333 --> 01:41:01,566
Just because you're not verbal
doesn't mean that you're not
2501
01:41:01,566 --> 01:41:06,300
a thinking, intelligent,
bright human being.
2502
01:41:06,300 --> 01:41:09,533
That's what
I think she would say.
2503
01:41:09,533 --> 01:41:11,933
What do you think, Mol?
- Mm-hm.
2504
01:41:11,933 --> 01:41:16,133
♪ ♪
2505
01:41:16,133 --> 01:41:17,866
When you call
someone low functioning,
2506
01:41:17,866 --> 01:41:19,700
it dismisses their strengths.
2507
01:41:19,700 --> 01:41:22,700
When you call
someone high functioning,
2508
01:41:22,700 --> 01:41:24,266
it dismisses their struggles.
2509
01:41:24,266 --> 01:41:28,633
We sometimes go out to the mall
and sometimes we do karaoke.
2510
01:41:28,633 --> 01:41:32,466
♪ Start spreading the news ♪
2511
01:41:32,466 --> 01:41:36,466
♪ I'm leaving today. ♪
2512
01:41:36,466 --> 01:41:38,666
Everybody
should know about autism.
2513
01:41:38,666 --> 01:41:40,600
'Cause they have
to learn a lot more.
2514
01:41:40,600 --> 01:41:42,400
They have to learn much better.
2515
01:41:42,400 --> 01:41:44,766
They have to
learn about tolerance.
2516
01:41:44,766 --> 01:41:48,333
I want my family and friends
to see the goodness in me.
2517
01:41:48,333 --> 01:41:50,566
Because my dream
is to see the goodness
2518
01:41:50,566 --> 01:41:53,633
in all my family and friends.
2519
01:41:53,633 --> 01:41:55,400
You know,
I'm not that little boy
2520
01:41:55,400 --> 01:41:59,133
that used to flap his hands
or bang his head on the floor.
2521
01:41:59,133 --> 01:42:02,333
You know, I have changed
drastically through life,
2522
01:42:02,333 --> 01:42:05,200
and now I see myself
as a better person
2523
01:42:05,200 --> 01:42:07,133
that can help others
with autism.
2524
01:42:07,133 --> 01:42:10,833
And now, let's talk about
something different, shall we?
2525
01:42:10,833 --> 01:42:13,000
CAREN: Sure, what would you
like to talk about?
2526
01:42:13,000 --> 01:42:17,966
We can talk about, uh...
2527
01:42:17,966 --> 01:42:19,000
Heaven?
2528
01:42:20,066 --> 01:42:25,100
♪ ♪
2529
01:42:40,000 --> 01:42:45,033
♪ ♪
2530
01:43:00,000 --> 01:43:05,100
♪ ♪
177001
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