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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,350 --> 00:00:03,960 - ♪ MTV ♪ 2 00:00:07,746 --> 00:00:09,009 [both chuckling] 3 00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:12,012 [rock music] 4 00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:19,280 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:29,464 --> 00:00:32,815 - The floor sucks. 6 00:00:32,902 --> 00:00:36,036 - [chuckles] 7 00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:38,473 - Okay, we're running a new promo campaign 8 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,692 for the new ciabatta maple burger, 9 00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:43,608 so we need somebody to stand out in front in this costume 10 00:00:43,695 --> 00:00:46,698 and say, "Welcome to the Ciabatta Zone." 11 00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:49,092 - [chuckles] That's the dumbest thing 12 00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:51,007 I ever saw. - Oh, cool. 13 00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:53,531 I wanna wear the hamburger-- 14 00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:55,490 head. - Great, it fits. 15 00:00:55,577 --> 00:00:58,188 Now, get in the bathroom and put the rest of the costume on. 16 00:00:58,275 --> 00:01:01,235 - Uh, okay. [chuckles] 17 00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:02,192 [loud crash] 18 00:01:04,019 --> 00:01:05,369 - Um, sir? 19 00:01:05,456 --> 00:01:06,022 I wanted to wear the hamburger-- 20 00:01:06,109 --> 00:01:07,806 - You keep mopping this floor. 21 00:01:07,893 --> 00:01:11,549 - Okay, but, um, later, is it okay if I wear the hamburger-- 22 00:01:11,636 --> 00:01:14,204 - Let's meet our team goals today, all right? 23 00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:16,467 - Ugh, yeah, okay, yeah. 24 00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:19,557 This sucks. 25 00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:24,432 - [chuckles] This sucks. 26 00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:26,260 [chuckles] - Hey, look, 27 00:01:26,347 --> 00:01:28,000 it's, like, Hamburger Man. 28 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,220 - Uh, welcome to, like, 29 00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:32,483 the Ciabatta Zone or something. 30 00:01:32,570 --> 00:01:34,311 - [laughs] Take my picture with him. 31 00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:37,880 - Uh, whoa, hi, baby. [laughter] 32 00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:40,360 - Now it's my turn. - Ooh, yeah, baby. 33 00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:43,190 [laughter] Come to my Ciabatta Zone. 34 00:01:45,888 --> 00:01:46,845 - Hey! 35 00:01:46,932 --> 00:01:48,890 [camera shutter clicking] 36 00:01:48,978 --> 00:01:51,198 Can we take a picture where I'm sitting in your lap? 37 00:01:51,285 --> 00:01:53,243 - Uh, yeah. [chuckles] 38 00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:56,203 The Ciabatta Zone kicks ass. 39 00:01:56,289 --> 00:01:58,378 [laughter] - Okay, one more. 40 00:01:58,466 --> 00:02:00,032 [somber music] 41 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,164 Look, I'm Mrs. Hamburger. 42 00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:03,166 [laughter] 43 00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:07,257 - Ooh, yeah. [chuckles] 44 00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:10,130 - This guy gets it. 45 00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:12,958 - ♪ I'm about to pull up, hit switch ♪ 46 00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:15,874 - Boy, when Post Malone smokes, 47 00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,353 he smokes. 48 00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:18,877 - ♪ Now I gotta resurface ♪ 49 00:02:18,964 --> 00:02:23,447 - And smokes and smokes. [chuckles] 50 00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:26,798 - Yeah, he just smokes the bejesus 51 00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:29,758 out of those cigarettes, yeah. [chuckles] 52 00:02:29,845 --> 00:02:32,021 - When Post Malone smokes a cigarette, 53 00:02:32,108 --> 00:02:34,763 that cigarette knows it's been smoked. 54 00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:37,591 [chuckles] 55 00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:39,594 - [chuckles] If you're a cigarette 56 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:41,161 and you see Post Malone coming, 57 00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:42,988 you can kiss your butt goodbye. 58 00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:45,252 [chuckles] 59 00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:47,079 - ♪ With a warrant ♪ 60 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,081 - Pretty soon, he's gonna have to have one of those 61 00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:50,909 throat-voice box things, 62 00:02:50,996 --> 00:02:53,129 where you have a hole in your throat. 63 00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:54,391 - Yeah, then he'll probably sound like, 64 00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:56,785 you know-- well, I mean, 65 00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:58,700 maybe he'll probably sound the same, you know? 66 00:02:58,787 --> 00:03:01,311 Just like this, you know? [chuckles] 67 00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:02,269 - ♪ Flushin' something down the toilet ♪ 68 00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:04,314 - [raps gibberish] 69 00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:05,794 ♪ Toilet ♪ 70 00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,056 [chuckles] 71 00:03:07,143 --> 00:03:09,798 - Uh, wait a minute, 72 00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,278 maybe he's had one of those all along. 73 00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:12,496 [chuckles] 74 00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:13,845 - Oh, yeah, yeah, 75 00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:15,760 that's why he's wearing that turtleneck. 76 00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:17,458 - ♪ And I been waiting so long ♪ 77 00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:19,634 - You know, I used to think smoking was really cool 78 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,157 until you get that hole in your throat, 79 00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:22,853 but now he's even made that cool. 80 00:03:22,941 --> 00:03:25,379 [chuckles] 81 00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:27,381 - Yep. [chuckles] 82 00:03:27,468 --> 00:03:29,948 He kicks ass. [chuckles] 83 00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:31,950 But he also gets tired really fast. 84 00:03:32,037 --> 00:03:33,822 [chuckles] 85 00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,867 And that's why he sounds all lazy when he sings. 86 00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:38,174 [chuckles] 87 00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:41,829 He's like, "Ugh, my back, ugh." 88 00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,484 [chuckles] "You take it for a minute, 89 00:03:43,571 --> 00:03:45,573 "Roddy Ricch. 90 00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:49,185 I am exhausted." [chuckles] 91 00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:52,797 - [groans] "I just need to sit down 92 00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:54,930 and have a cigarette, yeah." 93 00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:56,627 [chuckles] 94 00:03:56,714 --> 00:03:58,803 "Yeah, I've been working real hard smoking. 95 00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:01,371 I'm gonna have a little smoke break here." 96 00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:03,852 [chuckles] - Yup, the best time 97 00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:06,071 to have a cigarette is right after a cigarette. 98 00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:08,770 [chuckles] 99 00:04:08,857 --> 00:04:10,728 He's like-- "[sighs] 100 00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:13,165 I'm glad we shot this video in an IKEA." 101 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,863 [chuckles] 102 00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:17,039 "Plenty of places to sit down and smoke." 103 00:04:17,125 --> 00:04:18,736 [chuckles] 104 00:04:18,822 --> 00:04:21,303 - ♪ And I been waiting so long ♪ 105 00:04:21,391 --> 00:04:23,132 ♪ Now I gotta resurface ♪ 106 00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:24,525 - Look at that old guy down at the bottom, 107 00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:26,222 trying to weasel into the party. 108 00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:28,050 [chuckles] 109 00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:31,227 - Uh, I think that's, like, his doctor. 110 00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:33,664 He's trying to dance his way up to Post Malone 111 00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:37,146 to tell him he only has six weeks to live. 112 00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:39,801 - Like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, hey, everybody, yeah. 113 00:04:39,888 --> 00:04:42,804 "Hey, Post, can I talk to you for a minute? 114 00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:44,849 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's kind of important." 115 00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:46,547 [chuckles] 116 00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:48,200 - [chuckles] 117 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,724 Yeah, he's like, 118 00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:52,117 "Uh, Roddy Ricch, can you tell Post Malone 119 00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:53,423 to come over here for a minute?" 120 00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:54,642 [chuckles] - [chuckles] 121 00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:56,905 "Post! Post, the X-rays 122 00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:58,036 "don't look good. I need to talk to you 123 00:04:58,123 --> 00:04:58,863 right now." 124 00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:00,865 [chuckles] 125 00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:03,041 - Well, never mind. He'll find out soon enough. 126 00:05:03,128 --> 00:05:04,739 [chuckles] 127 00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:07,045 - Yeah, nothing we can do anyway. 128 00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:07,916 [chuckles] 129 00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:12,137 - [chuckles] 130 00:05:12,224 --> 00:05:14,879 And then this other chick came by, and she's all, 131 00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:17,621 "What's up, Hamburger Man?" [chuckles] 132 00:05:17,707 --> 00:05:19,231 - Uh-huh. [chuckles] 133 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,582 - And then her friend gave me a hug, 134 00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:23,975 and I think the friend was a chick too. 135 00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:26,761 But I can't really see too good out of my lettuce. 136 00:05:26,848 --> 00:05:28,763 [chuckles] - That's great, Butt-Head. 137 00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:30,808 Good for you. [chuckles] 138 00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:33,420 - And then this girl accidentally sat on my hand, 139 00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:35,770 like, with her butt. [chuckles] 140 00:05:35,857 --> 00:05:38,033 And she was only sitting on the foam part, 141 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,252 but it kind of looked like I got some. 142 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,081 [chuckles] 143 00:05:43,168 --> 00:05:44,735 - I'm glad you're having such a good time, Butt-Head. 144 00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:46,694 [chuckles] - It's just too bad 145 00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:49,784 that when I'm in the suit, the chicks can't see my face, 146 00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:51,046 or I bet they'd like me even more. 147 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:53,396 [chuckles] 148 00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,050 - Yeah, Butt-Head, um, 149 00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:57,182 I just wanted to ask if maybe sometime I could wear-- 150 00:05:57,269 --> 00:05:58,793 - I'm gonna wear this suit every day 151 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,708 until the end of time, Beavis. 152 00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:03,580 [chuckles] I will never take it off. 153 00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:06,017 [chuckles] Except sometimes, 154 00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:08,890 I will unzip it so the chicks can see my Ciabatta Zone. 155 00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:10,370 [chuckles] 156 00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,328 - [chuckles] Yeah, I see. 157 00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:13,590 [chuckles] - Yeah. 158 00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,853 [chuckles] You see, my Ciabatta Zone 159 00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:17,159 is actually my-- - I know 160 00:06:17,246 --> 00:06:18,421 what your Ciabatta Zone is, Butt-Head. 161 00:06:18,508 --> 00:06:20,031 [chuckles] 162 00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:22,164 - It's my wiener. [chuckles] 163 00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:24,122 - Yeah, yeah. 164 00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:27,038 - Well, it's time for the two of us to get to work. 165 00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:29,432 [chuckles] - Are we working today? 166 00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:33,001 - I was talking about me and the costume, butthole. 167 00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:35,525 Now, zip me up. [chuckles] 168 00:06:35,612 --> 00:06:37,658 - Eh, okay. [chuckles] 169 00:06:40,574 --> 00:06:42,227 - Stay in school or something. 170 00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:45,187 [chuckles] See you in the Ciabatta Zone. 171 00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:47,668 [chuckles] 172 00:06:47,755 --> 00:06:50,714 [somber music] 173 00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:53,630 Welcome to the Ciabatta Zone. [chuckles] 174 00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,502 Don't do drugs--or something. 175 00:06:55,589 --> 00:06:57,417 [chuckles] - Hey, Butt-Head. 176 00:06:57,504 --> 00:06:59,419 [striking dramatic note] 177 00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:01,072 [chuckles] 178 00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:02,334 And look, 179 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,206 I made my own costume. Check it out. 180 00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:05,990 [chuckles] 181 00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:08,863 - What the hell are you supposed to be, dumbass? 182 00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,517 [chuckles] - I'm, like, pizza. 183 00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:12,257 [chuckles] 184 00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:14,042 - You can't just stand in front of Burger World 185 00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:16,479 dressed as pizza. 186 00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:18,220 - Yes, I can. [chuckles] 187 00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:20,527 Welcome to the pizza. 188 00:07:20,614 --> 00:07:22,746 Wait, um, the--the, um-- 189 00:07:22,832 --> 00:07:24,922 the Pizza World of Ciabatta-- 190 00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,750 what--wait, what is it again? [chuckles] 191 00:07:30,711 --> 00:07:32,234 - Dude, it's 2021. 192 00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:34,802 Imagine what life is gonna be like in 2025. 193 00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:39,110 "Where is--where--where--what is Ryan at 40 gonna be doing 194 00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:40,284 on a Tuesday?" 195 00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:43,071 - Wait, um, who's Ryan? 196 00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:45,813 - Uh, he's Ryan. 197 00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,162 - Hey, my name is Ryan. - He's doing that thing 198 00:07:47,249 --> 00:07:48,555 where he talks about himself. 199 00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,600 "What is Ryan gonna be doing on a Tuesday?" 200 00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:52,950 [chuckles] - You know, I think, um-- 201 00:07:53,037 --> 00:07:54,778 Think I might start doing that, you know? 202 00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:57,433 I mean, I think Beavis might do that, yeah. 203 00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:00,088 You know, in 2025, I think Beavis is gonna be 204 00:08:00,175 --> 00:08:02,046 spanking his monkey more than ever-- 205 00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:05,049 [chuckles] Yeah, on a Tuesday. 206 00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:07,574 Yeah, and maybe Wednesday, Thursday. 207 00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:08,792 [chuckles] 208 00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:10,620 'Cause you know, the day I get to--I mean, 209 00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:13,057 the day Beavis gets tired of spanking my--I mean, 210 00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:16,060 the day Beavis gets tired of spanking Beavis' monkey 211 00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:19,020 then, um, you know, he's just not Beavis anymore. 212 00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:21,239 [chuckles] 213 00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:23,764 - SERHANT Studios? [chuckles] 214 00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:27,071 - No, I think it's SERHANT SERHANT. 215 00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:29,813 Isn't he the guy that assassinated the president? 216 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,989 [chuckles] - [chuckles] 217 00:08:32,076 --> 00:08:33,817 You said "ass." 218 00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:35,078 [both chuckle] 219 00:08:35,165 --> 00:08:36,690 - Yeah. 220 00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:37,821 Yeah, I said it twice, actually. 221 00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:39,431 [chuckles] 222 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,956 SERHANT SERHANT ass-ass-inated the president. 223 00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:43,566 - By 7:45. 224 00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:46,743 - Uh, I didn't know you knew about history, Beavis. 225 00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:47,962 [chuckles] 226 00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:51,574 - Uh, mostly just gun stuff, you know? 227 00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,445 [chuckles] That's about it. 228 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:54,925 - So I know we did this daily routine video 229 00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:57,232 a little while ago, but my life has changed-- 230 00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:59,364 namely, I'm now a dad, 231 00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:01,584 and I'm a CEO. 232 00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:03,717 - Whoa. He's way more excited 233 00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:06,110 about being a CEO than he is about being a dad. 234 00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:07,764 - Let's go. 235 00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:09,200 - Well, it's not his fault. 236 00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:10,680 His baby sucks. 237 00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:13,117 [chuckles] 238 00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:16,033 - Yeah, you know, they're not all good, you know? 239 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,732 I mean, who needs dads anyway, you know? 240 00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:20,429 We don't. 241 00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,083 We turned out just fine. 242 00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:24,041 [chuckles] - [chuckles] 243 00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:26,391 [percussive beat] 244 00:09:26,478 --> 00:09:28,176 [sarcastically laughs] 245 00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:31,353 "It's not all serious here at SERHANT SERHANT. 246 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,747 We like to have a little fun too." 247 00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:35,705 - "You can't take yourself too seriously in life, 248 00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,272 you know?" [chuckles] 249 00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:40,318 - "Unless you're me, Ryan SERHANT SERHANT, 250 00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:42,756 two-time New York Douchebag of the Year." 251 00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:46,324 [both chuckle] 252 00:09:46,411 --> 00:09:48,762 - Everybody here has a story to tell, 253 00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:51,503 and everyone here is an important piece. 254 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:54,202 - [chuckles] I hate Ryan. 255 00:09:54,289 --> 00:09:55,812 [chuckles] 256 00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:57,858 - Brand. 257 00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:00,904 - This is, like, pepperoni, 258 00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:02,950 and this is a sausage or something, 259 00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:05,735 and the cone is something else they put on pizza. 260 00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:07,302 I don't know, it's, like, fruit or something. 261 00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:08,520 [chuckles] 262 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:11,262 Welcome Ciabatta Pizza. 263 00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:14,526 - Yeah, uh, we don't have any change. 264 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,050 - Yeah, this sucks. [chuckles] 265 00:10:16,137 --> 00:10:19,836 - Pizza sucks. Welcome to the Ciabatta Zone. 266 00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:22,883 - Hey, man, did you touch Angela Dattilo's butt yesterday 267 00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,536 with that dumbass glove? 268 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,191 - Uh, yeah, I sure did. 269 00:10:27,278 --> 00:10:29,280 [chuckles] 270 00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:32,109 - Well, her boyfriend's on his way here to kick your ass. 271 00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:33,763 - Uh, 272 00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,069 really? 273 00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:37,375 Hmm. [chuckles] 274 00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:40,074 - Welcome to Pizza. Do you know what a zone is? 275 00:10:40,161 --> 00:10:43,294 - [chuckles] 276 00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:45,340 Uh, Beavis, 277 00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:48,256 I've decided to let you wear the hamburger costume. 278 00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:50,040 [chuckles] - Oh, really, Butt-Head? 279 00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:53,000 You're gonna let me wear the hamburger, for real? 280 00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:54,436 - Yes, Beavis. 281 00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:57,657 I know you've wanted this for a long time. 282 00:10:57,744 --> 00:11:00,355 Now hurry up and put it on as fast as you can 283 00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:01,617 before I change my mind. 284 00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:03,575 - Whoa. Yeah, yeah. 285 00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,796 Yeah, this is pretty cool, yeah. 286 00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:09,364 I'm in the Ciabatto Zone. [chuckles] 287 00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:11,061 - Keep it on for a long time. 288 00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:13,194 [chuckles] 289 00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:14,978 - [humming] 290 00:11:15,065 --> 00:11:16,066 ♪ Ciabatta ♪ - Hey, you. 291 00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:17,677 Where's that Hamburger Man? 292 00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:20,549 - He's right that way, sir. [chuckles] 293 00:11:20,636 --> 00:11:22,551 - Hey, Hamburger Man! 294 00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:23,683 - Welcome to the Ciabatta Zone. 295 00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:24,945 - Touch her butt, man? 296 00:11:25,032 --> 00:11:26,511 [grunts] - Wanna take a picture? 297 00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:27,643 Wait--hey, wait a minute. 298 00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,036 I think he's kicking my ass. 299 00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:30,820 - This is what you get. - Butt-Head, help. 300 00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,256 - [chuckles] [punches thudding] 301 00:11:32,343 --> 00:11:33,562 - I can't see. Is that a chick? 302 00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:34,868 - [chuckles] - Hey, cut it out! 303 00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:36,173 Hey! Ow. 304 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:37,609 [screams] Ow! 305 00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:40,743 - You wanted to be the hamburger, 306 00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,310 and I wanted to see you get your ass kicked. 307 00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:43,964 [chuckles] 308 00:11:44,051 --> 00:11:45,226 Everyone wins. 309 00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:46,923 - Pretty cool, yeah. 310 00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:48,229 - It was a great day. 311 00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:50,579 - It sure was, yeah, 312 00:11:50,665 --> 00:11:52,276 and some guy said he's gonna send the video to WorldStar. 313 00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:53,930 [chuckles] 314 00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:55,671 Not too bad, yeah. [chuckles] 315 00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:58,021 - Not bad at all. [chuckles] 316 00:11:58,108 --> 00:11:59,936 - I miss when this couch had cushions though, you know? 317 00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:01,285 [chuckles] 318 00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:02,896 - I'll kick your ass about that another time, 319 00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:05,594 Beavis. For now, let's just 320 00:12:05,681 --> 00:12:07,248 enjoy this moment. 321 00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:12,514 [rock music plays] 322 00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:19,086 [military music] 323 00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:24,831 ♪ ♪ 324 00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:28,356 - So there I was, trapped behind enemy lines, 325 00:12:28,443 --> 00:12:30,575 pinned down in a Korean farmhouse 326 00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:33,665 by 50 Commie soldiers-- 327 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:38,235 just me and three of my brothers in the Marine Corps, 328 00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:41,673 and let's not forget a brave Korean farmer 329 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,589 by the name of Hon-yong. 330 00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:47,288 [gunshots firing] 331 00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:53,163 Hon-yong, I don't know who fixed this for you 332 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,949 the last time, but oh, boy-- 333 00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:58,647 I ought to be able to just clean out the P trap 334 00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:00,214 and the pop-out drain, 335 00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:03,695 but this one here is a 1 1/2 inch galvanized, 336 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:07,612 and this one--well, that there is metric. 337 00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:10,006 [sighs] Well, that's one way to do it. 338 00:13:10,093 --> 00:13:12,313 - I'm running out of ammo! - There's more of them coming! 339 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,577 [gunshots firing] - [grunts] 340 00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:17,579 - [speaks Korean] - Yeah, I bet the last guy 341 00:13:17,666 --> 00:13:19,799 told you he could save you a few won 342 00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:22,627 if you just used whatever he had in the truck. 343 00:13:22,714 --> 00:13:26,414 Well, I always say there's nothing more expensive 344 00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,633 than saving a little money on home maintenance. 345 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,418 [bullet dings] 346 00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:32,942 Okay, Hon-yong, where's the main water shutoff 347 00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,465 to the house? 348 00:13:34,552 --> 00:13:35,553 [gunshots firing] 349 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:36,946 Hon-yong? 350 00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:42,125 Well, it ought to be by the water heater-- 351 00:13:42,212 --> 00:13:43,213 usually is. 352 00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:44,606 [bullets thud] - [grunts] 353 00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:49,437 - And that's exactly where it was. 354 00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:52,396 But I bet you wanna hear the rest of the story-- 355 00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:54,703 how the idiot who fixed that sink 356 00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:58,315 screwed up the T and P valve on the water heater. 357 00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:00,883 If Hon-yong wasn't already dead, 358 00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:03,712 he could've been seriously burned. 359 00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:07,542 But that's a tale for the next "Tom Anderson's War Stories." 360 00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:10,762 ♪ ♪ 361 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,591 [both chuckling] 362 00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:16,594 [rock music] 363 00:14:16,681 --> 00:14:23,253 ♪ ♪ 364 00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:30,608 [both chuckling] 365 00:14:32,219 --> 00:14:34,525 - $5-worth on pump two, please. 366 00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:36,440 [chuckles] 367 00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:38,486 - There's no car at pump two. 368 00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:40,096 - What? 369 00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,795 Oh, yeah, yeah. 370 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,623 Yeah, we forgot the car. 371 00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:47,060 [chuckles] 372 00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:49,714 - Uh, how'd we get here then? 373 00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:52,369 - Uh, I think we walked or something. 374 00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:54,589 [chuckles] - Oh, yeah. 375 00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:55,938 [chuckles] 376 00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:57,722 - It just shows to go you-- 377 00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:59,724 you wanna buy a gas, you gotta bring the car, 378 00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:01,901 you know what I'm saying? [chuckles] 379 00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:04,425 - Well, let's go get the car. [chuckles] 380 00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:09,604 - Uh, wait a second. The car needs gas, Butt-Head. 381 00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:12,824 - Uh, oh, yeah. 382 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,783 Better go back to the gas station. 383 00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,045 [chuckles] 384 00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:20,702 - Hi, you guys have walked by six times. 385 00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:23,009 Are you interested in a career at Amatron? 386 00:15:23,096 --> 00:15:26,099 - Uh, what? [chuckles] 387 00:15:26,186 --> 00:15:28,275 - We're opening a new Amatron fulfillment center 388 00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:29,711 warehouse, right here in Highland, 389 00:15:29,798 --> 00:15:32,105 and we're hiring warehouse associates. 390 00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:34,368 - Eh, I don't know. 391 00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:37,327 It kind of sounds like a job. [chuckles] 392 00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:39,415 - The starting pay is $18 an hour. 393 00:15:39,503 --> 00:15:42,115 - This job's gonna take an hour? 394 00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:43,551 [chuckles] - Ah, forget it. 395 00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:48,643 - Plus full benefits. - Whoa, benefits? 396 00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:52,995 Beavis, did you hear that? She wants to give us benefits-- 397 00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:55,215 like, friends with benefits. 398 00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:56,738 [chuckles] 399 00:15:56,825 --> 00:15:59,349 - Whoa. - A job with benefits? 400 00:15:59,436 --> 00:16:01,786 That's like friends with benefits, 401 00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:04,398 but we don't have to pretend to be someone's friend. 402 00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:06,139 [chuckles] - Yeah, we just have to pretend 403 00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:07,488 to do a job. 404 00:16:07,575 --> 00:16:09,533 Yeah. [chuckles] 405 00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:12,058 - We'll take it, ma'am. [chuckles] 406 00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:13,407 - Yeah, we could do the benefits 407 00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:15,104 in the back seat of our car if you want. 408 00:16:15,191 --> 00:16:16,758 [chuckles] 409 00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,151 Oh, wait a minute. 410 00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:19,674 We forgot the car. 411 00:16:19,761 --> 00:16:20,675 [chuckles] 412 00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:26,202 - Welcome to our newest Amatron fulfillment center. 413 00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:28,509 We use technology to make our workers 414 00:16:28,596 --> 00:16:30,424 as productive as they can be. 415 00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:33,165 - That sucks. [chuckles] 416 00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:34,645 - Here's how it works. 417 00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:36,299 This monitor shows that a customer ordered 418 00:16:36,386 --> 00:16:37,648 a coffee maker. 419 00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:40,434 One of our fully autonomous warehouse robots 420 00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:43,480 will bring you the item. - Uh-huh. 421 00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:45,047 - So you take the item from the robot, 422 00:16:45,134 --> 00:16:46,396 put it in the box, 423 00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:48,094 and put it on the conveyor belt. 424 00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:50,661 Any questions? - Uh, 425 00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:53,012 do we get our benefits from the robots? 426 00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,665 - Yeah, that would be cool. [chuckles] 427 00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:58,539 It's all advanced, yeah. [chuckles] 428 00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:00,410 - If you have questions about your compensation, 429 00:17:00,497 --> 00:17:02,847 you can talk to our HR rep, Richard. 430 00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:06,199 - Um, we gotta get our benefits from that guy? 431 00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:08,592 [chuckles] - That sucks. 432 00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,681 [chuckles] - Oh, well. 433 00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:12,378 I guess you gotta work your way up, you know, 434 00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:13,815 starting at the bottom. 435 00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:15,208 [both chuckle] 436 00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:18,253 - Entry-level. [chuckles] 437 00:17:18,340 --> 00:17:22,127 - Looks like only the boss gets to score with the robot. 438 00:17:22,214 --> 00:17:23,781 The working man's blues. 439 00:17:23,867 --> 00:17:26,567 [chuckles] 440 00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:27,829 - Uh, 441 00:17:27,915 --> 00:17:31,267 look at that long, thin thing on TV. 442 00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:33,052 - I think it's, like, a light bulb or something. 443 00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:38,231 Whoa, look! Look at that. 444 00:17:38,318 --> 00:17:40,581 - Uh, oh, yeah, 445 00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,931 cool. [chuckles] 446 00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:45,977 It's, like, nacho cheese in a spray can. 447 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,067 [chuckles] 448 00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:49,807 - Whoa. [chuckles] 449 00:17:49,894 --> 00:17:51,766 - This rules. 450 00:17:51,853 --> 00:17:53,724 - Oh, and look what's on this one. 451 00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:58,599 [both chuckling] 452 00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:01,254 - That guy over there can keep his benefits. 453 00:18:01,341 --> 00:18:03,604 [chuckles] This kicks ass. 454 00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:12,134 [both chuckling] 455 00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:17,139 - More. 456 00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:19,402 - We're here at Amatron's incredible 457 00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:21,143 warehouse of the future, 458 00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:23,014 right here in Highland, Texas. 459 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,321 Tell us, how does it work? 460 00:18:25,408 --> 00:18:28,324 - Our inventory robots work by machine learning. 461 00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:30,761 They bring inventory where it's needed 462 00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:33,242 before anyone even knows they need it. 463 00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:35,070 If a warehouse associate is, 464 00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:36,854 say, shipping a lot of screwdrivers, 465 00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:40,467 the robots will learn to bring him more screwdrivers. 466 00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:43,165 If the associate is shipping more computers, 467 00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:45,254 the robot will bring him more computers. 468 00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:46,560 We don't like to say it's idiot-proof, 469 00:18:46,647 --> 00:18:50,390 but let's just say we bet the whole company on it. 470 00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:51,130 [laughs] 471 00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:55,482 - This is the life, Beavis. 472 00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:57,353 - Yeah. [chuckles] 473 00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,181 We should've gotten jobs a long time ago. 474 00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:03,577 - Well, I'm almost full. [chuckles] 475 00:19:03,664 --> 00:19:05,579 What do you say we eat a couple more cans, 476 00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:08,799 score with that guy, and knock off for the day? 477 00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:11,193 - It sounds like a plan. [chuckles] 478 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:12,803 [robots creaking] - Uh, 479 00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:15,110 what's that noise? 480 00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:17,330 [robots creaking and clanking] 481 00:19:17,417 --> 00:19:18,679 - [both scream] 482 00:19:18,766 --> 00:19:19,636 [cheese can squirts] 483 00:19:19,723 --> 00:19:20,681 [loud crash] 484 00:19:20,768 --> 00:19:21,769 - Ah! - Ah, ow! 485 00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:23,814 Butt-Head, help! 486 00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:25,599 I can't reach the cheese. 487 00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:26,817 Ah! 488 00:19:26,904 --> 00:19:28,950 [sirens wailing] [fire truck honks] 489 00:19:29,037 --> 00:19:30,647 [helicopter whirring] 490 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,304 - It really was the warehouse of the future. 491 00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:38,699 [chuckles] The technology is amazing. 492 00:19:38,786 --> 00:19:40,831 - They have cheese in a can 493 00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:44,661 and fire--very advanced. 494 00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:47,403 - What'll those dumbasses think of next? 495 00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:48,926 [chuckles] - Probably something 496 00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:50,928 that sucks, yeah. 497 00:19:51,015 --> 00:19:53,931 [rock music] 498 00:19:54,018 --> 00:19:55,498 [loud crash] [glass shatters] 499 00:19:55,585 --> 00:20:02,462 ♪ ♪ 500 00:20:12,776 --> 00:20:19,740 ♪ ♪ 501 00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:21,655 [chiming noises] 502 00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:22,395 - Chirp. 32534

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