Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:04,004
* MTV ♪
2
00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:10,044
[both chuckling]
3
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:13,013
[bluesy rock music]
4
00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:20,154
♪ ♪
5
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:32,200
These garbage bags are wet.
6
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:33,934
[chuckles]
7
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:35,169
I'm gonna slide first,
Butt-Head.
8
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:37,971
Me first, yeah.
This is going to be cool.
9
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,573
Uh, okay.
10
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,675
Okay. Here we go.
Heh heh.
11
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:43,211
Wait a minute.
Hang on.
12
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:45,546
I better back up so I
can get a running start.
13
00:00:48,116 --> 00:00:50,451
I'm gonna back up some more
so I can go really fast.
14
00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:52,120
Hurry up, dumbass.
15
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,855
We don't have all day.
16
00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:56,457
- Heh heh heh.
- Okay.
17
00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:57,925
Okay, here goes.
18
00:00:57,991 --> 00:00:59,560
Go, butt-monkey, go.
19
00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:02,130
[panting]
20
00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:05,833
[thuds, yells]
21
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:09,937
[snickering]
That kicked ass!
22
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:15,109
Uh... get up.
23
00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:18,479
It's my turn, dumbass.
24
00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:23,117
Uh, are you, like,
dead or something?
25
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:26,987
Uh, oh, well.
26
00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:29,790
I guess I'll never know.
[chuckles]
27
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:32,226
[door opens, shuts]
28
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:38,699
[door opens]
29
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:43,371
[grunting]
30
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:44,505
Oh, no.
31
00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:45,506
Ow.
32
00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:47,975
[groaning]
33
00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:50,811
Whoa.
34
00:01:50,878 --> 00:01:52,346
Ow, ow!
35
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:56,417
That's, like, the
worst sunburn I ever saw.
36
00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:57,885
I know. Heh.
37
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,588
It, like, hurts and stuff.
38
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,122
I'm sorry, Beavis.
39
00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:03,991
That must be very painful.
40
00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:05,426
[chuckles]
41
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,662
[screams]
Come on.
42
00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:10,798
Don't touch my sunburn, please.
43
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:14,268
Uh, okay.
44
00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,570
- [whack]
- Aah!
45
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,473
I didn't touch it.
I slapped it.
46
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:21,642
Damn it, Butt-Head.
Cut it out!
47
00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:25,779
- [giggling]
- Uh, all right.
48
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:28,682
[making buzzing sound]
49
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:30,318
Oh, no.
It's a mosquito.
50
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:31,885
Oh, no.
Where is it?
51
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:34,888
[buzzing, snickering]
52
00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:36,524
It landed on you, Beavis.
53
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:37,858
Oh, really?
54
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:39,560
Would you, like,
slap it or something?
55
00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:41,128
Because I don't want it
to bite me on my sunburn--
56
00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:42,330
uh, wait, no!
57
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:43,364
Aaaaah!
58
00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:44,398
Got it.
59
00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:47,301
[chuckling]
60
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:51,572
Butt-Head, I'm only gonna
tell you this once.
61
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,841
I know I've said I'm gonna
kill you before,
62
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:55,676
and then I didn't kill you.
63
00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:58,746
But if you ever do that again,
so help me God,
64
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:03,150
I am going to, for real,
seriously, going to kill--
65
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:04,318
[whack]
Aaaaaah!
66
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:05,453
No!
67
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,187
Aaaaah!
68
00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:09,857
[snickers]
Dumbass.
69
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:12,025
Well, see you later, Beavis.
70
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:13,261
- [whack]
- Aaaaaaaaaah!
71
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:15,263
Good luck with the sunburn.
72
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:19,233
[grunting, panting]
73
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:22,403
I warned him,
and he did not listen.
74
00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:25,773
So now Butt-Head
is going to die.
75
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:28,008
[ominous music]
76
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,882
[uneasy music]
77
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,450
How am I
going to kill Butt-Head?
78
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,786
[chuckling]
79
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:40,187
Let's see.
80
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:42,356
I don't think I've ever
done any murders before,
81
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:45,259
so I'm gonna have
to hire a hitman.
82
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:47,628
Yeah. Let's see.
83
00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:50,130
What's a hitman look like?
84
00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:53,667
Probably looks like that
guy in "Goodfellas," yeah.
85
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,903
I don't remember
that movie that well,
86
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:59,740
but I think that guy
lived on that street,
87
00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:02,643
and he had, like,
a tie all the time.
88
00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:05,713
Um...
yeah, yeah, like this guy.
89
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,981
[door bell jingles]
90
00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:10,984
Hey, how's it going?
Hee hee hee.
91
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:12,953
Uh, hello.
92
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:15,323
I'm looking for someone
to do a little job for me,
93
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:17,358
if you know what I'm saying.
94
00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:22,896
I stole this picture from
Butt-Head's uncle's house,
95
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:25,366
so don't tell anyone.
[giggling]
96
00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:26,967
Do I know you?
97
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,369
My name isn't important.
98
00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:31,739
Now, let me ask you,
can you do this job or not?
99
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:32,940
[snickering]
100
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,775
If you've got
a job needs doing,
101
00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:37,210
why don't you go to
the Home Warehouse?
102
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,847
Plenty of people there
looking for a job.
103
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:42,516
Yeah, that kicks ass. Yeah.
104
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,918
[ominous music]
105
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:48,622
Yeah, that's going to be cool.
Hee hee hee.
106
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:51,525
[chuckles]
107
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:53,427
Okay, this looks like
the place.
108
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,629
Hee hee hee hee.
109
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:03,937
I was told someone in here
could do a job for me.
110
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:06,374
Maybe. What kinda job
we talking about?
111
00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:09,410
Here's a picture.
112
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,379
It's from Butt-Head's
uncle's house.
113
00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:14,515
Oh, yeah.
This really needs it.
114
00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:15,916
Yeah, yeah, I know.
115
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,786
He slapped my
sunburn and stuff.
116
00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:20,488
Wow. Now, no offense,
117
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,890
but you should have
taken care of this years ago.
118
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,024
Yeah, really!
Yeah, no kidding.
119
00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:25,393
[snickers]
120
00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,361
You know how many
square feet we're talking?
121
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:29,129
I don't know.
He's got, like, two, you know.
122
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,931
They're just, like,
normal foot shape.
123
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,032
- I don't know what you're--
- 2,000?
124
00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:33,467
That's about right. Okay.
125
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,102
Yeah, I can be there
at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow.
126
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,970
The whole thing'll
take about four days.
127
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,406
Yeah, good. Yeah.
128
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:41,241
I want it to be slow, yeah.
Heh heh heh.
129
00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:43,711
Oh, almost forgot.
What color?
130
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:45,813
Uh, I don't know.
I guess, um...
131
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:48,248
I guess white, or something?
132
00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:49,950
Let me text my guys.
133
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,652
I'm not racist, I just
want to kill my friend!
134
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,220
Jesus Christ.
135
00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:55,423
All right. So I'll see you
tomorrow at 8:00?
136
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:56,690
Oh, I'll be there, yeah.
137
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,325
I want to watch
the whole thing.
138
00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:01,328
[chuckles]
139
00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:04,732
Butt-Head is going to die.
Hee hee heh heh.
140
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,769
But here, we don't.
141
00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:10,871
Welcome to Montero.
142
00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:13,073
[Lil Nas X's, "Montero
(Call Me by Your Name)"]
143
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:15,576
Uh, I think this is
supposed to be like
144
00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:18,612
that garden in the Bible.
145
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:22,082
Where that chick Eve, or Eden,
or whatever her name is
146
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:24,652
eats that fruit that
she wasn't supposed to.
147
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:27,421
And then it, like,
puts a curse on the Earth.
148
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:28,722
[snickering]
149
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,123
Yeah, see, that's one of
those stories
150
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,592
that has a moral, you know.
151
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:34,094
And the moral is fruit sucks.
152
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:36,464
- Yeah. Hee hee.
- Yeah.
153
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,265
And so do gardens.
154
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:40,634
[chuckles]
155
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,069
* I'm not fazed... ♪
156
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,972
Uh, then remember that
other part of the story
157
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,941
where, like, God takes
the rib out of that dude
158
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,177
and makes a chick?
159
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:54,081
You know, if I could do that,
I would have no rib cage.
160
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:55,849
Yeah, neither would I.
161
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,986
I'd just
be a big blob of flesh
162
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,855
with a bunch of chicks
around me and no bones.
163
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:05,325
Hee hee hee.
Except I'd still have one bone.
164
00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:07,595
[chuckling]
165
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,498
You know, Lil Nas X
could probably score
166
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:13,066
with any chick in this video
that he wanted to, you know?
167
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:16,970
Heh heh. And he definitely
wants to, yeah.
168
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:19,339
He's all about the ladies.
Heh heh heh.
169
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:21,842
Did you know the X
in Lil Nas X
170
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:25,513
stands for extremely
interested in chicks?
171
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:27,414
* What a time,
an incline ♪
172
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:29,717
- ♪ God was shining on me... *
- Wait, who's that?
173
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,118
Is that Satan?
174
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:33,521
No, it's Darth Maul.
Heh heh.
175
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:36,824
Satan is like part
of the Marvel universe.
176
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,692
Oh, yeah, yeah.
[giggling]
177
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,761
Uh, remember
that time that guy
178
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,429
wanted you to be a Satanist?
179
00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:45,198
And then he said he'd take
you to the Satanic Church,
180
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:47,668
but it was just a room
over his mom's garage?
181
00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:48,736
[chuckles]
182
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,370
Oh, yeah, yeah.
183
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:51,772
Yeah, I thought there would
be, like, naked chicks
184
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:53,807
and like blood and stuff.
185
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:55,208
But he just wanted
to sit around
186
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,544
and talk about low taxes and--
187
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:59,913
and libertarianism or
something, I don't know.
188
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,749
It's like, that's not evil.
189
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,317
It's just stupid.
190
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:06,554
And it's also boring, Beavis.
191
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,488
And I don't wanna
hear about it, either.
192
00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:09,757
So shut up.
193
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,092
[chuckling]
194
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:14,361
Oh, and-and remind me
to tell you later
195
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:17,130
what he said about
who controls the media.
196
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:19,366
You'd be surprised.
It's not who you think.
197
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:20,634
[chuckling]
198
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:22,302
Oh, and, oh,
you know what else?
199
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:27,407
Um, did you know that
7-11 was an inside job?
200
00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:29,342
They don't want you
to know that.
201
00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:30,911
[giggling]
202
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:32,412
They suck.
203
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:35,382
[chuckles]
204
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:38,652
[ominous music]
205
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:41,154
[crunching]
206
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:45,025
Look at him,
being all alive and stuff.
207
00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:47,961
But today,
he will be murdered.
208
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,262
[snickers]
209
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:52,365
Get me more Count Chocula, butthole.
210
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,234
Hee hee hee.
211
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:57,771
Um, Butt-Head, ha, whatever
happens, just know that I'm--
212
00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:01,008
I'm like, sorry, or something.
213
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:02,542
You're gonna be sorry
214
00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:04,978
if you don't get me
some Count Chocula.
215
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,647
[chuckles]
216
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:08,916
You know, it just--it had
to be this way, you know.
217
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:12,552
You know what I'm saying?
I...I had no choice.
218
00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:13,787
[chuckling]
219
00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:15,789
[vehicle approaching]
220
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:20,493
[tense music]
221
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,863
What have I done?
222
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,331
[chuckling]
223
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:26,566
It's kinda like
messed up or something.
224
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:27,635
Heh heh heh.
225
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,670
He said evacuate.
226
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:32,272
[chuckling]
227
00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:36,944
Damn it,
I don't think I can do this.
228
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:40,013
Stop, stop!
I-I changed my mind, yeah.
229
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,381
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What?
230
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,883
Don't do it.
It's not worth it.
231
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,484
What are you
talking about, man?
232
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:46,586
I came out here with my truck
and my whole crew.
233
00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:48,922
Jesus Christ, what were you
gonna do to him?
234
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:50,523
- He's just one guy.
- Hey, man.
235
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,693
If you're canceling, I still
need my commencement check.
236
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,495
How much is that?
Like $5.00, or something?
237
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:57,430
No, 2,000!
238
00:09:57,497 --> 00:09:59,066
Listen, you give me my
commencement check now,
239
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:00,333
or I'm gonna kick your ass!
240
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,470
Uh, what the hell's
going on out here?
241
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,338
I'm saving your life,
Butt-Head.
242
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:07,274
Go back inside
while you still can!
243
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:08,608
Hee hee.
244
00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:11,244
Uh, if you guys are
gonna beat up Beavis,
245
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,546
slap him on his sunburn.
246
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,883
He hates it.
Heh heh.
247
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,417
Uh, wait-wait
a minute, what?
248
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:19,653
And that's exactly
what I'm gonna do.
249
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,722
Hey, no, no. No!
250
00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:23,056
Aaaaaah!
[Butt-Head laughs]
251
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,792
- No, no, no, wait, wait--
- Do it again.
252
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,960
Aah!
No!
253
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:29,229
Aah!
254
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:34,067
- No!
- [chuckling]
255
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:37,170
[ominous music]
256
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:38,706
[slapping and screaming
continues]
257
00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:45,645
[military marching band music]
258
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,585
Hello.
I'm Tom Anderson,
259
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,255
veteran of two foreign wars.
260
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:58,959
And believe you me,
I've got some stories to tell.
261
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,328
But none of them
are quite like what happened
262
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:02,730
one particular morning
263
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:05,766
during the Battle
of Heartbreak Ridge.
264
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:08,535
[gunfire, explosions]
265
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,503
[men yelling]
266
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:16,009
See, what you got here is
the wipers are all seized up.
267
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:19,512
If one wiper worked, I'd say
maybe this loosened up on you.
268
00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:21,248
You could just
tighten this down.
269
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:25,118
But I'd wager we're dealing
with a mechanical issue here.
270
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,387
Sir, we have to
get to the battle.
271
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:31,024
You can win this war quick,
or you can win this war right.
272
00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:32,793
[boom]
273
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,527
Now, of course,
I could get this off
274
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:38,165
if the last guy who fixed it
hadn't stripped the threads.
275
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:39,566
[boom]
276
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:41,001
Oh, boy.
277
00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:42,903
- Sir--
- Uh, now you get
278
00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:45,773
200 miles down the road
and it starts raining on you,
279
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:47,607
you're gonna be thanking me.
280
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:49,376
Bingo!
281
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,144
Now, inside the wiper motor
282
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:54,381
there's what I call
a park switch.
283
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:56,984
Yep, totally shot.
284
00:11:57,951 --> 00:12:01,922
And I ended up having to
replace the whole wiper motor.
285
00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:04,257
But that little tale
will have to wait
286
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:07,928
for another one of
Tom Anderson's War Stories.
287
00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:10,297
[military marching band music]
288
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:13,266
[bluesy rock music]
289
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:17,337
♪ ♪
290
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,739
And that's the reason
why human beings
291
00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:22,843
have teeth in their mouth
and not in their buttholes.
292
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:25,278
Oh, yeah?
I never knew why that was.
293
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,147
Wow.
Hee hee hee.
294
00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:29,149
You're pretty smart, Butt-Head.
Heh heh heh.
295
00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:30,450
Yeah.
Ha ha.
296
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:33,821
[grunting]
297
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:36,824
Uh, Butt-Head,
the school is closed.
298
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:39,092
Ha.
What's going on?
299
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:41,661
Uh... hmm.
300
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,632
It must be like
spring break or something.
301
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:47,200
[chuckles]
302
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,969
Isn't spring break when
everyone, like, parties
303
00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:50,570
on the beach and stuff?
304
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,605
How come we never do that?
305
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:54,641
Uh, I think you
got to go to, like,
306
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:57,811
the Jersey Shore or something.
[giggling]
307
00:12:57,878 --> 00:12:59,679
Where's the Jersey Shore?
308
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:03,550
Uh, I think it's in Florida.
Hee hee hee.
309
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,953
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, cool. Heh.
310
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:09,389
So like, um, how do
you get to Florida?
311
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:10,991
Uh...
312
00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:13,360
I think most people go
with their bros or something.
313
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:15,595
Oh, cool, yeah.
Hee hee.
314
00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:17,697
Do we have bros?
315
00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:21,001
Uh... no.
Ha ha.
316
00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:23,670
I think we're, like,
too cool or something.
317
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:25,005
[chuckles]
318
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:27,140
Whoa.
319
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:30,543
Beavis, I think I just
thought of the coolest way
320
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:33,746
- to get to Florida.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
321
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,215
[both snickering]
322
00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:36,850
Okay, Beavis.
323
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:39,252
We're gonna mail ourselves
to spring break.
324
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:42,389
Hee hee hee hee.
This is gonna be cool.
325
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,057
Spring break, here we come.
326
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,094
Just gotta put
a stamp on it.
327
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:51,899
[grunting]
328
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,266
- [thump]
- Aah!
329
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:56,236
Hurry up, I think
I hear the mail truck.
330
00:13:56,303 --> 00:14:00,908
[both chuckling]
331
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:06,779
We're gonna party.
[chuckling]
332
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,551
Spring break, here we come.
333
00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:14,021
I can't believe
this actually worked.
334
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:16,389
And it only cost $0.58.
335
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:21,161
Uh, are we almost to
Florida, Butt-Head?
336
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:23,296
- [truck beeping]
- Uh... we better be,
337
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,832
or this mailman
is a real butthole.
338
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:32,605
[both grunting, muttering]
339
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:34,774
Uh...
340
00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:37,477
Ahh...
heh heh.
341
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,947
Uh, whoa.
342
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:44,617
Heh heh. Florida's even cooler
than I thought.
343
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:47,620
Yeah. Feels really good
to be on the beach, you know?
344
00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:49,089
[seagull crying]
345
00:14:49,156 --> 00:14:52,425
Boy, the ocean really
smells terrible, doesn't it?
346
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,494
It's all the dumbass fish.
347
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,163
[snickers]
348
00:14:56,229 --> 00:15:00,133
Well, um, where are all
the chicks, Butt-Head?
349
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,902
Uh, I think
they all sleep late,
350
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:05,238
because they're tired
from scoring all night.
351
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,740
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, right.
352
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:09,009
Well, when they wake up,
353
00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:10,477
they're gonna wanna see
a gun show.
354
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:12,412
So let's get down to it.
355
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,615
Here we go. Heh.
356
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:17,584
Come and get it. Yeah.
357
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,052
[snickering]
358
00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:23,656
I'm just gonna lay down
here and catch me some rays.
359
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:24,791
Oh, yeah.
360
00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:26,659
Yeah, this is the life.
Ow!
361
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:27,961
Ah!
362
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:30,763
I got, like, a nail in my back.
Ah! Ha.
363
00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:33,033
This place just gets
cooler and cooler.
364
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:36,336
Ha ha. Now, let's go find some
Jell-O shots or something.
365
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:37,670
Yeah, yeah.
366
00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,939
[both chuckling]
367
00:15:40,007 --> 00:15:41,908
[thunder rumbling]
368
00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:45,178
Yeah, spring break kicks ass. Yeah.
369
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,117
Today we are visiting
370
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:51,118
the Reptile Discovery Center,
371
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,785
located in DeLand, Florida.
372
00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:55,422
This location is also
a Medtoxin Venom Laboratory.
373
00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:57,190
- Good morning, Carl.
- Coyote, how you doing?
374
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:58,325
- Welcome.
- Good, how are you?
375
00:15:58,391 --> 00:15:59,559
- Thank you for coming.
- Mara.
376
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,860
Hey, Coyote. Welcome.
377
00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:04,264
Oh, God.
His name is Coyote?
378
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:06,633
Coyote is, like,
Native American
379
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,835
for "lives in his car."
380
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:10,503
[both chuckling]
381
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:13,340
We have the capability
to really pile it out...
382
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,008
- Oh, my gosh.
- When they need to.
383
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,409
We are returning
these snakes
384
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,011
to their natural habitat,
385
00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:20,280
a plastic box
from the Container Store.
386
00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:23,183
[chuckling]
387
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,352
Yeah, no, no, the snakes
really like it in there.
388
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:26,853
They do, yeah.
389
00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:29,122
[chuckling]
390
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,757
Check it out, Butt-Head.
391
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,725
You know what I
don't understand?
392
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:35,728
When they put the containers
in the Container Store,
393
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:37,330
what do they put them in?
394
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,899
Because, um--because
you know, really,
395
00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:43,503
the Container Store itself
is a container, you know?
396
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:44,737
Hee hee hee.
397
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:47,374
What's with these people,
you know?
398
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,575
Heh heh heh heh.
399
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:52,279
Uh, are you
trying to be funny?
400
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,347
Yeah. Yeah, I am.
Heh heh heh.
401
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,049
I'm still working
it out a little bit,
402
00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:57,417
you know what I mean?
403
00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,686
You can store things
in the container,
404
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,888
and they sell it
at the Container Store.
405
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:03,123
What's that about?
406
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,925
Heh heh heh.
What about that, is that--
407
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:08,128
well, there's something
there, you know 'cause... ha.
408
00:17:08,195 --> 00:17:10,163
Because a store, you know,
and the container--
409
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,398
let's see here.
410
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:13,666
Yeah.
So the container was in the--
411
00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,068
- Uh...
- There's a...
412
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:17,937
What are you writing?
[snickering]
413
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:19,239
Oh this?
414
00:17:19,306 --> 00:17:22,075
Oh, it's just a picture
of a schlong, see?
415
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:25,145
You know, it's like a
note to myself, you know.
416
00:17:25,212 --> 00:17:28,281
I hope this snake
bites you... hee hee...
417
00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:29,882
so you'll die.
418
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:31,118
Oh, yeah.
419
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:33,520
Wow, that is a big
eastern diamondback!
420
00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,522
I think I just went
to the bathroom
421
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:36,923
in my pants a little bit.
Holy--
422
00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:38,291
There's a bathroom
in his pants?
423
00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:39,726
[both chuckling]
424
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,661
He went to the
bathroom in his pants
425
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,330
- more than a little bit.
- Whoa!
426
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:47,100
Yeah, yeah. The whole top part
of his pants is soaked.
427
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:48,701
[giggling]
428
00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:50,237
I'm just going to
go like this, and--
429
00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:51,804
I guess it's good to have
a bathroom in your pants
430
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:53,440
if you live in your car,
you know.
431
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:55,975
Heh heh heh heh.
Oh, wait a second.
432
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:58,111
Wait, I think
I got something here. Heh.
433
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:00,747
Yeah, yeah, you know,
there's a bathroom in my pants,
434
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:04,384
and I'm in the
Container Store, so my--
435
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:05,452
no, that's not it.
436
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:06,553
Oh, oh, yeah.
437
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:09,722
My pants contain a bathroom.
438
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:13,193
It's a container of--
of pee, or something.
439
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,094
I-I'll work it out later
on the road, you know.
440
00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:16,963
But, um, heh, wanna...
441
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:18,298
yeah, but there's
something here.
442
00:18:18,365 --> 00:18:19,932
This is good, yeah.
[giggling]
443
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:22,369
Gotta draw another schlong
here so I won't forget.
444
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,937
[snickering]
445
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:26,273
[birds cawing]
446
00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:27,540
Now, Butt-Head, how come
there's still no chicks
447
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,509
here at spring break?
Hee hee.
448
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,311
They'll be here soon, Beavis.
449
00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:34,214
And when they get here, they're
gonna wanna chicken fight
450
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:36,416
with two hot dudes in the pool.
451
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:38,551
And then everyone
falls in the water,
452
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,253
and one thing
leads to another...
453
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,988
[chuckles]
454
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,223
Oh, yeah. Ha.
455
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:44,791
Um, Butt-Head?
456
00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:47,460
The water's, like, stinging
my legs really bad.
457
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:50,029
Uh, do you need
another Jell-O shot?
458
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:51,831
Uh, I don't think that
was Jell-O, 'cause it was,
459
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:54,301
like, in an old milk carton.
460
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,135
And it was, like, gray.
461
00:18:56,203 --> 00:18:58,471
Uh, I think it was gray
462
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,173
'cause it had
so much vodka in it.
463
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:02,809
Then I guess
I'll have another one.
464
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:04,944
But, um, but Butt-Head, um,
465
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,746
what if the chicks
aren't coming?
466
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,481
What if they're at
a different beach,
467
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:11,418
having a wet T-shirt contest
or a foam party or something,
468
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,520
and we're missing it?
[giggling]
469
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:16,155
Damn it,
that butthole mailman
470
00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:17,457
took us to the wrong beach.
471
00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:21,228
- Ugh. Oh, boy.
- [snickering]
472
00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:26,733
Well, Jersey Shore has gotta
be around here somewhere.
473
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:28,067
Whoa, Butt-Head!
474
00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:30,370
Let's take that car
to Jersey Shore.
475
00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:32,272
Oh, yeah. Hee hee.
476
00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:34,173
Arrive in style.
477
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:37,244
In our new set
of wheels, yeah.
478
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:39,312
Uh, chicks, here we come.
479
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:41,781
[chuckling]
480
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,783
Do you think it'll start?
481
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,252
Who cares? Heh heh.
482
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:47,754
When the chicks see that
we have our own car,
483
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:50,423
it won't even
matter if it runs.
484
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,191
[rumbling]
485
00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:53,260
Whoa!
486
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:55,995
Whoa, here we go!
It works.
487
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:59,532
And I think it's flying, too. Yeah.
488
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:04,337
Beavis, we are on our way
to party our asses off.
489
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:05,838
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
490
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:08,875
Spring break kicks ass.
Yeah. Heh heh.
491
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:11,077
Ladies, here we come.
492
00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:15,214
[metal grinding]
493
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:19,586
[bluesy rock music]
494
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:25,958
♪ ♪
495
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,474
[chiming noises]
496
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:42,875
Chirp.
32778
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese