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1
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♪ MTV ♪
2
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[both chuckling]
3
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[rock music]
4
00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:18,105
♪ ♪
5
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,591
[eerie music]
6
00:00:26,678 --> 00:00:31,814
♪ ♪
7
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Hail, dimwitted Earthlings.
I am smart Butt-Head.
8
00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:38,690
And I am the one
men call Smart Beavis.
9
00:00:38,777 --> 00:00:41,302
Long have we observed
the parallel universe
10
00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:42,607
where Beavis and Butt-Head
got older
11
00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:45,045
and are now in middle age.
12
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Oh, the marvels we have seen,
the wisdom we have learned.
13
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All of it far beyond
the comprehension
14
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of your feeble human minds.
15
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Nonetheless,
we shall now reveal to you
16
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:56,839
but one of these marvels
17
00:00:56,926 --> 00:01:00,538
on the planet
imbeciles call Earth.
18
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Smart Beavis,
where is the steering wheel
19
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- on this comet?
- I do not know.
20
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We shall have to steer it
with the power of our minds.
21
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Very well.
22
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[both humming]
23
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[screams]
24
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♪ ♪
25
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You know
what we should do, Beavis?
26
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Let's get some beers
and have a party.
27
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[chuckling]
28
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Yeah, but, um,
we did that last weekend,
29
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and we drank all the beers,
and no chicks showed up.
30
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- [chuckling]
- That party was cool.
31
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[chuckling]
32
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Yeah, it was.
[chuckling]
33
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Party down.
[chuckling]
34
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Howdy there, neighbors.
35
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You got time to sign a petition
to keep Highland beautiful?
36
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Uh, what?
[chuckling]
37
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I'm collecting signatures
to get rid
38
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of that ugly low-income housing
out on the main road.
39
00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:04,124
Um, what's housing?
40
00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:06,691
In this case, it's an eyesore
that needs to go.
41
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Let me show you.
42
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Uh, yeah, that place sucks.
[chuckling]
43
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Yeah, it sure does.
44
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What kind of buttholes
live in that dump?
45
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[chuckling]
46
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I mean, seriously.
[chuckling]
47
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My company wants
to put in a new condo
48
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with ground level retail,
49
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but we have to demolish
this one first.
50
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Yeah, demolishing is cool.
[chuckling]
51
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It sure is.
52
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The city council's
going to discuss this tonight.
53
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I hope I see you there
to support the demolition.
54
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Yeah, yeah.
[chuckling]
55
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I got a sledgehammer.
Should I bring that?
56
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- [chuckling]
- Uh, yeah, we'll go to that.
57
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Can you buy us some beer?
[chuckling]
58
00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:47,776
How about I buy you a beer
after you go to the meeting?
59
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Oh, that sounds good.
[chuckling]
60
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We're being bribed.
[chuckling]
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[soft music]
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♪ ♪
63
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Beavis: Being a janitor
would kick ass
64
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'cause, like, you just, like,
listen to music all night,
65
00:03:06,142 --> 00:03:08,449
and then you can just,
like, spank your monkey
66
00:03:08,536 --> 00:03:11,016
wherever you want,
and then you can clean it up,
67
00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:12,496
you know, cause you already
have the mop, see.
68
00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:14,063
[chuckling]
Butt-Head: Yeah.
69
00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:15,934
It is the perfect crime.
70
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♪ ♪
71
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It was the Native Americans who
first invented the fist pump.
72
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[chuckling]
Beavis: Whoa.
73
00:03:26,945 --> 00:03:29,165
What's his other hand doing?
[chuckling]
74
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Butt-Head:
He's doing a different kind
75
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,342
of fist pump down there.
76
00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:34,562
[chuckling]
77
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Beavis: Yeah, yeah.
[chuckling]
78
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:38,609
Yeah, there's something else
dancing down there
79
00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:42,396
about the same size.
[chuckling]
80
00:03:42,483 --> 00:03:46,008
He's masturbating.
[chuckling]
81
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Beavis: [chuckling]
Yeah, he sure is.
82
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He's not shy about it either.
83
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Yeah.
[chuckling]
84
00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:55,147
Nothing wrong with that.
[chuckling]
85
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,845
Beavis: Yeah, I mean,
I don't really want to see it,
86
00:03:56,932 --> 00:03:58,542
but, you know, I mean,
no one wants to see me
87
00:03:58,629 --> 00:04:00,109
do it either, you know, so,
you know,
88
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:02,024
so go for it, you know?
89
00:04:02,111 --> 00:04:03,547
Oh, look.
[chuckling]
90
00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,201
Tiesto's spanking
his monkey too.
91
00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:06,463
[chuckling]
92
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:10,250
Tiesto.
[chuckling]
93
00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:11,990
Beavis: Yeah, you know,
if you can't masturbate
94
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to your own music, you know,
what's the point?
95
00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:15,994
[chuckling]
Butt-Head: Yeah.
96
00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:17,866
[chuckling]
97
00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:21,043
Uh, I think this guy's, like,
not even a janitor at all.
98
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:23,480
[chuckling]
99
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,221
Yeah, he's just
a really considerate
100
00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:26,483
masturbater, you know?
101
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:28,137
He's like...
[chuckling]
102
00:04:28,224 --> 00:04:29,704
You know, he brings a mop
with him, you know,
103
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:31,836
and a bucket, you know?
[chuckling]
104
00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:33,447
Butt-Head: Yeah, at the front
of the museum,
105
00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:35,013
they were like, "Sir,
you're gonna have to leave
106
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,538
that mop and bucket outside."
[chuckling]
107
00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:41,019
And then he's like, "Uh, no,
you're gonna thank me."
108
00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:42,673
[chuckling]
109
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,980
You're gonna be glad I did,
believe me.
110
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:46,764
[chuckling]
111
00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:49,898
Butt-Head: Uh, well, time
for him to go get the mop.
112
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[chuckling]
113
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Beavis: Yeah.
[chuckling]
114
00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:54,424
I think I might get me
one of those, you know?
115
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:56,078
[chuckling]
Mop.
116
00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:57,340
[chuckling]
117
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,214
[both chuckling]
118
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,738
Boys, you made it.
119
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:07,481
Uh, where's
the demolition crew?
120
00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:09,439
And who are those buttholes?
121
00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:10,484
- Community.
- [chuckling]
122
00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:12,137
It's proven to keep an eye...
123
00:05:12,224 --> 00:05:13,878
man: They're the people
who think they run this city.
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00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:16,533
[chuckling]
Running sucks.
125
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Yeah, really.
[chuckling]
126
00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:20,232
Now, the meeting's
about to wrap up here,
127
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,322
and then any member
of the public is allowed
128
00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:24,367
to speak for four minutes,
and that's when you can talk
129
00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:26,108
about protecting
our neighborhood
130
00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:27,544
from low-income housing.
131
00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:29,764
That concludes new business.
132
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The floor is now open
to public comment.
133
00:05:31,592 --> 00:05:34,159
First on the list
is Mr. Beavis.
134
00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:35,465
You're up.
135
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:42,342
Um, I'm Beavis, Your Honor,
and I just wanna say
136
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:46,084
I'm in favored of destroying
this building that sucks.
137
00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:47,912
[chuckling]
138
00:05:47,999 --> 00:05:50,959
Uh, amen or something.
[chuckling]
139
00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:53,353
You've got 3 minutes
and 50 seconds left.
140
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,442
Oh, okay,
141
00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:59,402
um, also,
when you destroy it,
142
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I think you should burn it.
143
00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:03,711
Yeah, you know, with fire,
you know,
144
00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:05,321
and then you'll see
how cool it is.
145
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:08,629
Yeah, yeah, with fire.
Yeah, and destroying it.
146
00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:12,110
And then it'll be so cool,
we'll go destroy
147
00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:15,897
more buildings with fire, and
then we'll destroy everything!
148
00:06:15,984 --> 00:06:17,464
- Yeah.
- We will just burn...
149
00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:25,167
And then destroy trees
and rocks and the schools!
150
00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:27,387
Yeah, yeah, the schools!
151
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:29,389
They could throw rocks
at the schools,
152
00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:32,392
and I just want to say
I think it's wrong
153
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:36,004
for children
to ever have to go to school
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00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:39,573
because the children
are our future, and, um--
155
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:42,924
and in conclusion, uh,
let's destroy this building
156
00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:46,144
with fire and bombs, yeah!
157
00:06:46,231 --> 00:06:49,191
Looks like my time is up.
Thank you very much.
158
00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:50,410
[chuckling]
159
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Thank you, Mr. Beavis.
160
00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:56,851
Next is Mr. Buff-Head.
161
00:06:56,938 --> 00:06:59,331
Please use
your real names, people.
162
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,681
You have four minutes.
163
00:07:07,252 --> 00:07:10,821
Uh, I yield my time
to Mr. Beavis.
164
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:14,303
And then destroy the sky
and the land!
165
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:16,784
Destroy it all with fire!
[chuckling]
166
00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:18,568
And then destroy
the fire with fire
167
00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:20,918
and more fire!
168
00:07:22,703 --> 00:07:25,183
Here's your beer money, boys.
You earned it.
169
00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:27,534
You really spoke
from the heart, Beavis.
170
00:07:27,621 --> 00:07:30,537
Well, you know, I just like
destroying stuff.
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That's all, you know.
172
00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:34,410
He's a big fan of fire.
[chuckling]
173
00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:37,674
Yep, always have been,
always will be.
174
00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:40,242
Great news,
the council just voted
175
00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:42,679
five to four to condemn
that building.
176
00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:43,941
Six months from now,
those apartments
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00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:45,639
will be a pile of rubble.
178
00:07:45,726 --> 00:07:47,641
- Yes!
- Yes, yeah!
179
00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:49,469
[both chuckling]
180
00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:56,084
TV announcer: Tired of hoping
that the right candidates...
181
00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:57,433
[door clicks]
182
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:58,390
There's another one
of those things
183
00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,870
on our door, Butt-Head.
184
00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:01,176
Butt-Head: They can tape up
185
00:08:01,263 --> 00:08:03,221
as many of these things
as they want,
186
00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:04,788
but they can't
make me read 'em.
187
00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:07,922
[chuckling]
Outsmarted 'em again.
188
00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:10,577
We sure did, Beavis.
189
00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:12,579
- Well, let's celebrate.
- Yep.
190
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,668
[chuckling]
Yep, party time.
191
00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:17,801
Let's go get some beers.
[chuckling]
192
00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:18,889
[hammers thudding,
tools grinding]
193
00:08:18,976 --> 00:08:21,892
How come it's so loud today?
[chuckling]
194
00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:24,199
Yeah, sure is a lot
of police tape too.
195
00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:26,723
Something cool
must have happened.
196
00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:30,074
We always miss it.
[chuckling]
197
00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:35,515
What's happening
over there, Butt-Head?
198
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:38,126
Uh, I think they're wrecking
199
00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:41,608
that place that sucks that we
talked to the president about.
200
00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:43,392
Those buttholes
that live there
201
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:44,654
are gonna get
what they deserve.
202
00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:45,568
[chuckling]
203
00:08:48,179 --> 00:08:49,877
[building crashing]
204
00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:52,880
- This is cool.
- Yeah, yeah, wreck it!
205
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:55,752
Wreck it!
Destroy!
206
00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:58,276
[chuckling]
207
00:08:58,363 --> 00:08:59,800
- Yeah!
- [chuckling]
208
00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:02,411
- There you go, yeah!
- [chuckling]
209
00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:04,108
That's it, yeah!
210
00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:05,849
Yeah, kick it!
Yeah!
211
00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:08,809
[both coughing]
212
00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:14,510
[both chuckling]
213
00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:17,818
- Yeah.
- That was cool.
214
00:09:17,905 --> 00:09:20,734
Sure was, yeah.
215
00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:22,474
It feels good
that we got involved
216
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,476
in our community,
and it paid off.
217
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:25,913
You know what I'm saying?
218
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,264
And now it's party time.
[chuckling]
219
00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:30,918
Let's go home.
[chuckling]
220
00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:32,354
Yep.
[chuckling]
221
00:09:32,441 --> 00:09:34,443
Time to kick back.
[chuckling]
222
00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:41,668
Uh, wait a second,
where's our apartment again?
223
00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:44,279
- [chuckling]
- Um...
224
00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:46,107
I think it's
around here somewhere.
225
00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:50,241
It was right next to the, um,
the thing with the, um...
226
00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:52,374
hm, hm.
227
00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:56,770
Uh, I don't see it.
[chuckling]
228
00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:59,860
Well, it's a puzzle.
[chuckling]
229
00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:02,906
This one's a real thinker. Yeah.
230
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:06,997
Uh, I'm tired.
[grunts]
231
00:10:07,084 --> 00:10:10,740
Let's find our apartment later.
[chuckling]
232
00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:13,961
Yeah.
Well, it's not going anywhere.
233
00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:18,095
- We can just party right here.
- Yeah.
234
00:10:18,182 --> 00:10:20,271
I hope some chicks show up
this time.
235
00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:22,752
[chuckling]
236
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:26,408
[rock music]
237
00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:36,461
[rock music]
238
00:10:36,548 --> 00:10:39,247
[both chuckling]
239
00:10:40,988 --> 00:10:43,425
This is gonna be cool.
240
00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:46,994
[chuckling]
We're gonna egg a house.
241
00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:48,604
- [chuckling]
- Yeah, it's gonna be cool.
242
00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:50,214
Yeah.
[chuckling]
243
00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:52,913
But, um, like,
which house should we egg?
244
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,523
[indistinct yelling]
245
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:57,352
Uh, not this one.
246
00:10:57,439 --> 00:11:00,660
Whoever lives here is cool.
[chuckling]
247
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,749
[dog barking]
248
00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:06,100
Yeah, not this one either.
These guys kick ass.
249
00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:07,536
- [chuckling]
- They sure do, Beavis.
250
00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:08,929
[chuckling]
251
00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:14,369
Whoa, now,
whoever lives here sucks.
252
00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:17,328
Beavis, I think
we have a winner.
253
00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:20,201
Yeah, yeah,
let's egg it, yeah.
254
00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:22,725
Okay, Beavis,
when I count to three,
255
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:25,206
let's throw these eggs.
256
00:11:25,293 --> 00:11:27,512
Uh, go.
257
00:11:27,599 --> 00:11:28,296
[both grunting]
258
00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:30,646
[both chuckling]
259
00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:32,866
- Yeah.
- [chuckling]
260
00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:36,217
- [grunts]
- [chuckling]
261
00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:37,435
Damn it.
262
00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:41,352
Ugh, damn it!
[chuckling]
263
00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:44,965
Ah!
264
00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:46,270
Beavis, you dumbass.
265
00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:48,142
You got in the way
of my perfect throw.
266
00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:51,188
- [chuckling]
- [grunts]
267
00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:52,842
I'll show you
how it's done, Beavis.
268
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:55,279
Check this out.
[chuckling]
269
00:11:55,366 --> 00:11:55,976
[grunts]
270
00:11:57,325 --> 00:11:59,153
Ah!
271
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,503
Damn it.
Throwing sucks.
272
00:12:01,590 --> 00:12:02,243
[chuckling]
273
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:07,901
[humming melody]
274
00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:10,686
♪ I'm in my prime, optimist ♪
275
00:12:10,773 --> 00:12:12,340
Butt-Head: Uh, I think
276
00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:13,994
she's supposed to be,
like, Pinocchio,
277
00:12:14,081 --> 00:12:16,648
but when she lies,
her butt grows bigger.
278
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,128
[chuckling]
279
00:12:18,215 --> 00:12:19,869
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[chuckling]
280
00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:22,437
She been doing a whole lot
of lying.
281
00:12:22,524 --> 00:12:25,005
You know what I'm saying?
[chuckling]
282
00:12:25,092 --> 00:12:26,571
♪ ♪
283
00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:28,095
I wish, when I lied,
284
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:30,053
my schlong would grow bigger
'cause then I'd be like,
285
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:32,273
"Hey, baby."
[chuckling]
286
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,710
"I have a gigantic schlong."
[chuckling]
287
00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:37,974
And I'd be lying, but then
my schlong would get bigger
288
00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:40,020
because I'm lying, see?
289
00:12:40,107 --> 00:12:41,630
And then it would be true, though,
290
00:12:41,717 --> 00:12:44,328
so, um, I don't know
if it shrinks again or--
291
00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:45,808
I don't know how that works,
you know?
292
00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:48,071
I don't know what
the Pinocchio rules are.
293
00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:50,421
You know?
[chuckling]
294
00:12:50,508 --> 00:12:52,206
Yeah, maybe it would just,
like, start growing
295
00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:53,903
and shrinking back and forth,
you know, like,
296
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:56,253
'cause, um, 'cause it grows,
and then I'm not lying,
297
00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:57,777
and then it shrinks
since I'm lying,
298
00:12:57,864 --> 00:12:59,648
and then, you know,
it just goes back and forth.
299
00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:01,955
It's kind of going "boing,
oing, boing, boing, boing."
300
00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:03,391
[chuckling]
301
00:13:03,478 --> 00:13:05,045
And then I wouldn't even
need the chick, you know?
302
00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:07,134
I could just have my schlong
do all the work, you know?
303
00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:08,700
[chuckling]
304
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,006
And I wouldn't need
my hands either.
305
00:13:10,093 --> 00:13:11,921
[chuckling]
306
00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:14,924
Can go eat lunch or something.
You know, go about my business.
307
00:13:15,011 --> 00:13:16,404
You know?
[chuckling]
308
00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:17,840
Maybe take up a new hobby,
you know,
309
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:20,364
like, um, like, um...
310
00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:21,844
uh, like spanking my--
oh, no, never mind.
311
00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:23,411
[chuckling]
312
00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:24,891
That was
quite a ride, Beavis.
313
00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:26,414
[chuckling]
314
00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,546
I guess what I'm saying,
though, is, like, um,
315
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:31,245
is I wish I could lie a lot
and have a big schlong.
316
00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:32,986
That's all.
[chuckling]
317
00:13:33,073 --> 00:13:36,728
That would rule.
[chuckling]
318
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,557
Uh, you know,
they really should
319
00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:42,212
make a "Schlongnocchio" movie.
[chuckling]
320
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:43,561
'Cause then, like,
Jimmy Cricket
321
00:13:43,648 --> 00:13:46,173
can get it on with Tinkerbell,
and then Peter Pan
322
00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:47,957
can grant him a real schlong,
323
00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:49,872
and they can all ride off
on Dumbo.
324
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:51,874
[chuckling]
325
00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:54,137
Beavis: [chuckling]
326
00:13:54,224 --> 00:13:56,009
Butt-Head: And then
that cricket can be like,
327
00:13:56,096 --> 00:14:00,056
"Uh, hey, Tinkerbell,
wanna see my seventh leg?"
328
00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:02,102
[chuckling]
329
00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:03,538
[chuckling]
Yeah.
330
00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:06,019
"Hey, Tinkerbell, hey,
how'd you like to see
331
00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:08,499
something that always grows up?
You know what I'm saying?"
332
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:11,024
[chuckling]
333
00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:13,113
♪ If that bitch gets slick,
I'll cut the bitch ♪
334
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,377
Uh, okay, Beavis,
I have an idea for a game.
335
00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:18,248
[chuckling]
336
00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:21,121
Every time she says, "bitch,"
I get to smack you.
337
00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:22,731
- [chuckling]
- No way!
338
00:14:22,818 --> 00:14:25,516
Why would I do that?
[chuckling]
339
00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:27,649
Butt-Head:
Uh, okay, how about this?
340
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:30,260
Every time she says "butt,"
you can smack me.
341
00:14:30,347 --> 00:14:32,567
Uh, okay, yeah, I mean,
342
00:14:32,654 --> 00:14:34,482
she is the queen of butts.
[chuckling]
343
00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:35,962
Your funeral.
[chuckling]
344
00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:40,053
Now let the games begin.
[chuckling]
345
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:41,315
♪ I'll cut up the bitch ♪
346
00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:42,969
♪ I'll gut the bitch ♪
347
00:14:43,056 --> 00:14:44,535
- ♪ Had to fuck up the bitch ♪
- Ah! Wait, I--
348
00:14:44,622 --> 00:14:45,667
- Ah! Okay, okay.
- ♪ Fuck the bitch ♪
349
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,060
I can't hear
when you're smacking me!
350
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,452
Ah!
Wait, I think--
351
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:49,453
- [grunts]
- Hold on!
352
00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,455
Why did I--
ah, ah, ow!
353
00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:53,588
I can--ah!
Hey!
354
00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:55,024
- ♪ Cut up the bitch ♪
- [screams]
355
00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:56,373
♪ Get the combination
to the safe ♪
356
00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:57,853
- ♪ And drug the bitch ♪
- I win.
357
00:14:57,940 --> 00:15:00,987
- [chuckling]
- Ah, ah!
358
00:15:01,074 --> 00:15:02,684
Damn it.
[chuckling]
359
00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:04,381
I did not think she
would say "bitch" so much
360
00:15:04,468 --> 00:15:06,035
when I agree--
ah!
361
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:08,559
Wait, Butt-Head, you can't
smack me when I say it!
362
00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:10,997
Son of a bitch.
Oh, wait, don't--ah!
363
00:15:11,084 --> 00:15:12,259
[chuckling]
364
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:13,564
Damn it, this game sucks.
365
00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:19,919
Uh, damn it,
we're out of eggs.
366
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:21,355
Where are we gonna get
more eggs
367
00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:23,792
to throw at this dumbass house?
[chuckling]
368
00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:25,620
Uh...
369
00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:27,404
[doorbell rings]
370
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:30,103
Well, hello.
371
00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:32,801
Uh, hello.
372
00:15:32,888 --> 00:15:34,629
We, like, need some eggs.
373
00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:36,848
Yeah, a lot of 'em.
Please, yeah.
374
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,025
Eggs?
Of course.
375
00:15:39,112 --> 00:15:41,549
- Happy to help.
- [chuckles]
376
00:15:41,636 --> 00:15:43,116
Reminds me of the old days
when a neighbor
377
00:15:43,203 --> 00:15:44,813
would ask for a cup of sugar.
378
00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:48,077
Um, okay.
Give us a cup of sugar too.
379
00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:49,035
- Yeah.
- [chuckling]
380
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:51,080
Sure, no problem.
381
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:53,213
So what grade
are you boys in?
382
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:56,564
Uh, we don't know.
[chuckling]
383
00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:58,435
I know what you mean.
384
00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,655
It all goes by so fast,
doesn't it?
385
00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:03,397
Uh, no?
386
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:05,790
Nope.
[chuckling]
387
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:09,011
There you go, boys. Enjoy.
388
00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:11,579
Bye, boys.
You come back anytime now.
389
00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:13,146
Nah.
[chuckling]
390
00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:18,455
- Oh, yeah.
- [chuckling]
391
00:16:18,542 --> 00:16:22,242
- That sugar really hit the spot.
- Yeah, yeah, sure did, yeah.
392
00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:24,157
You know, they should put this
in food and stuff.
393
00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:25,767
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I wish.
394
00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:27,029
[chuckling]
395
00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:28,900
Now let's go egg
those buttholes.
396
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,163
Yeah!
[chuckling]
397
00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:33,644
Okay, let's kick 'em
this time.
398
00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:36,038
Yeah, yeah, throwing sucks.
[chuckling]
399
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:39,259
[both grunting]
400
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,654
Damn eggs.
Ugh!
401
00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,830
Ah!
402
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:49,138
Uh, did we get any eggs
on the house?
403
00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:51,401
I think so. Um...
404
00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:54,752
eh, no, I don't think so.
[chuckling]
405
00:16:54,839 --> 00:16:56,363
Damn it.
[chuckling]
406
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:58,669
All right, Beavis,
I have another idea.
407
00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:00,932
Now follow me.
[chuckling]
408
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,065
Um, what is it?
409
00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:05,502
Uh, I don't know.
410
00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:13,162
Okay, Beavis, we're gonna
toilet paper their house.
411
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:14,729
Yeah, yeah,
because they suck.
412
00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:17,253
[chuckling]
413
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:21,040
This'll teach them a lesson.
Okay, here we go, Beavis.
414
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:22,911
[chuckling]
[grunts]
415
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:29,483
Yes!
416
00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:32,181
They're gonna be so pissed off. Yeah.
417
00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:34,009
No, they're not, dumbass.
418
00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:36,272
The toilet paper
went down the sewer.
419
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:39,275
Oh, yeah, yeah,
so it did, yeah.
420
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:40,407
Damn it.
421
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:42,365
Now we gotta get
more toilet paper.
422
00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:43,801
Where?
423
00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:46,282
[doorbell rings]
424
00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:48,067
Hello.
425
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:50,634
Uh, we need toilet paper.
426
00:17:50,721 --> 00:17:52,332
[both chuckling]
427
00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:54,551
Sure, boys, always happy
to help a neighbor.
428
00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:58,120
Um, and we need a lot
because I poop too much.
429
00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,557
He sure does.
[chuckling]
430
00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:03,212
You know, all that talk
of eggs and sugar last time
431
00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:06,607
put me in the mood for baking,
and I made some cookies.
432
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:08,087
Whoa.
433
00:18:10,611 --> 00:18:12,874
Well, they sure appreciate
your baking, honey.
434
00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:15,050
Put more sugar in next time.
435
00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:16,747
Yeah, yeah, have you heard
of that stuff?
436
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:19,141
Really good, yeah.
437
00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:20,664
- Toilet paper.
- Yes!
438
00:18:20,751 --> 00:18:22,144
Yeah, yeah.
[chuckling]
439
00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:23,754
It's about time.
[chuckling]
440
00:18:23,841 --> 00:18:25,974
Such good boys.
441
00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:30,152
[both chuckling]
442
00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:38,813
We did it, Butt-Head!
We did it, yeah!
443
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:41,424
Let me guess.
You guys did that?
444
00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:44,297
- Yeah, we sure did.
- Yeah, it's toilet paper.
445
00:18:44,384 --> 00:18:45,602
[chuckling]
446
00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:47,735
Real smart to TP a house
447
00:18:47,822 --> 00:18:50,346
when there's a nationwide
toilet paper shortage going on.
448
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,524
Um, what?
[chuckling]
449
00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:56,526
There's no toilet paper
in the stores right now
450
00:18:56,613 --> 00:18:59,225
because of the supply chain, genius.
451
00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:01,009
It's called following the news?
452
00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:08,756
Eh, this sucks.
[chuckling]
453
00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:11,193
Wait a minute, Beavis,
I just thought of something.
454
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,108
If we get
our toilet paper back,
455
00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:15,284
we can sell it
and, like, be rich.
456
00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:17,243
Whoa!
457
00:19:17,330 --> 00:19:20,420
- Damn it.
- [grunting]
458
00:19:21,943 --> 00:19:23,205
[doorbell rings]
459
00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:28,689
Uh, we got toilet paper.
460
00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:31,387
Yeah, yeah, check it out.
Yeah, it's good stuff.
461
00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:32,997
[chuckling]
462
00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:34,303
You can use it on your butt,
you know,
463
00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:36,697
or blow your nose or something.
464
00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:38,612
Wow.
465
00:19:38,699 --> 00:19:40,875
For you boys to clean up
after some bad kids
466
00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:45,009
threw toilet paper on our home,
it's wonderful.
467
00:19:45,096 --> 00:19:47,229
- Thank you.
- Yes.
468
00:19:47,316 --> 00:19:48,752
This is the nicest thing
anyone's done for us
469
00:19:48,839 --> 00:19:49,971
in a long while.
470
00:19:50,058 --> 00:19:52,800
Uh, what?
471
00:19:52,887 --> 00:19:55,324
Diane and I were never able
to have children
472
00:19:55,411 --> 00:19:59,633
of our own, but if we had,
we'd sure like to think
473
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,156
they'd be something like you.
474
00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:04,681
Do you want the toilet paper
or not?
475
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:07,641
Yeah, it's, like,
brand-new or something.
476
00:20:07,728 --> 00:20:09,991
Yeah, nobody wiped
their butt on it,
477
00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:12,123
not even once.
[chuckling]
478
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,169
We'll throw this out for you.
479
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:17,259
Thank you.
Thanks again.
480
00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:20,262
- Ugh, damn it.
- That sucks.
481
00:20:20,349 --> 00:20:21,785
They just stole
our toilet paper.
482
00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:23,613
[chuckling]
483
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:26,050
Well, I did wipe my butt
on some of it, you know,
484
00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:27,878
if I'm gonna be honest.
[chuckling]
485
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:30,533
We should, like,
smear shaving cream everywhere
486
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:33,188
- to prank those buttholes.
- Yeah, good idea.
487
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:35,408
Yeah.
[chuckling]
488
00:20:35,495 --> 00:20:38,411
Um, where do we get
shaving cream though?
489
00:20:38,498 --> 00:20:40,804
Uh, I know.
490
00:20:40,891 --> 00:20:42,415
[chuckling]
491
00:20:42,502 --> 00:20:44,547
Oh, yeah, yeah.
[chuckling]
492
00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:45,722
[both chuckling]
493
00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:46,941
- [doorbell rings]
- This is gonna be cool.
494
00:20:47,028 --> 00:20:48,856
[both chuckling]
495
00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:54,601
[rock music]
496
00:20:54,688 --> 00:21:01,260
♪ ♪
497
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,278
Chirp.
33287
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