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1
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* MTV ♪
2
00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:08,776
[both chuckling]
3
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,779
[rock music]
4
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:18,986
♪ ♪
5
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,462
And we'll just take
some of these,
6
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,997
one of these,
7
00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:30,998
gotta have these.
8
00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:32,366
These are good.
9
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:33,534
Yeah.
10
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,603
And there we go.
11
00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:40,608
Something to wash it all
down with,
12
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you know what I'm saying?
13
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:42,976
- [chuckles]
- Yep.
14
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,679
We like the cold ones.
15
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:47,848
Are you guys old enough
to drink?
16
00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:50,418
Uh, are you, sir?
17
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:52,086
Yeah, are you, sir?
18
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:54,722
I can't sell you this
unless you've got ID.
19
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:56,990
You can still buy the rest.
20
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,093
- Uh...
- [chuckles]
21
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,961
Do you even have
any money?
22
00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:02,730
Uh, do you, sir?
23
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:04,898
Yeah, do you, sir?
24
00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:06,834
Because we could, like,
use some money.
25
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,702
You know what I'm saying?
[snickers]
26
00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:10,471
[bell rings]
27
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,806
Nobody ever lets us buy
cool things, Butt-Head.
28
00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:16,510
They always say we're, like,
not old enough or something.
29
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,746
Whoa.
30
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,814
I have, like, an idea.
31
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:22,916
[snickers]
32
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:25,052
Old people can buy
whatever they want,
33
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:27,888
so we just need to, like,
make you look old.
34
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:29,423
Yeah, cool.
[laughs]
35
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:33,060
You need, like, gray hair
and wrinkles and stuff.
36
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:35,563
My 'nads have wrinkles.
37
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:36,797
They kind of look old.
38
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,199
Maybe I'll show people my 'nads
39
00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:40,168
instead of my face. Yeah.
40
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:43,571
People don't like
seeing 'nads, dumbass.
41
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,373
Not even on a fake ID?
42
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:48,509
Uh, no.
43
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:51,545
You're weird, Beavis.
44
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,447
Okay, stand still.
45
00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:54,915
I'm gonna dye your hair.
46
00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,784
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, dye.
47
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,953
Yeah, dye!
48
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:02,590
Whoa, it smells like dizzy
or--or something.
49
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:04,825
That means it's working, Beavis.
50
00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:06,794
Oh, really?
51
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:09,163
Cool.
52
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:11,732
Put a little here.
53
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,267
There we go.
54
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:14,635
Okay.
55
00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:17,037
Old guys are always hurting
their back,
56
00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:19,740
so you need to, like, say
"Ow, my back" a lot.
57
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:21,875
Um, okay, yeah.
58
00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:23,277
Ow, my back.
59
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:26,714
Uh, no, it needs
to sound real.
60
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:29,350
Okay, okay, let me try this.
How about, um...
61
00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:31,018
Ow, my back!
62
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:34,755
- Uh, that's pretty good.
- [groaning]
63
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,990
- Yeah.
- Okay.
64
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:40,294
Now go in there
and buy beer.
65
00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:41,895
Oh...
66
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:43,897
[grumbling]
67
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:46,133
Damn it. Ah.
68
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,636
It's time to go.
The bus is leaving.
69
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:52,706
Um, I just have to get
some beer or something.
70
00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:54,408
We have to get on the bus.
71
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:57,044
Um, oh, okay. Yeah.
72
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:59,613
I guess that's pretty cool.
73
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,749
Thank you, son.
74
00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:03,384
[groans] My back.
75
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,190
[laughs]
76
00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:11,725
Beavis is gone.
77
00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:16,397
* Open your eyes ♪
78
00:03:16,464 --> 00:03:19,467
♪ To know where
I'm taking you to ♪
79
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,869
Well, somebody's
homeschooled.
80
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:24,071
[laughs]
81
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:26,874
Yeah, you can tell.
[snickers]
82
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:29,477
I think the secret
to doing these trick shots
83
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,612
is not having any friends
84
00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:34,382
so you just, like, throw
Frisbees all day
85
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,517
and then sometimes,
they go in things.
86
00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:38,151
[laughs]
87
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,520
He keeps doing that thing
88
00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:40,821
that Caulay MacCulkin does,
you know,
89
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:41,989
in "Home Alone,"
90
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,491
you know, with his fist.
91
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:44,925
[laughs]
92
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:47,395
But in "Home Alone,"
his parents wanted him back.
93
00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:49,397
[snickers]
94
00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:52,366
[laughs]
Oh, yeah.
95
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,468
They just, like, put
a bunch of Frisbees
96
00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:56,637
and a basketball outside
and locked the door.
97
00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:01,442
"If the ball goes
in the net, I'm not lonely.
98
00:04:01,509 --> 00:04:04,912
Yes. Yeah.
Awesome! Yeah."
99
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,582
You know what these Frisbees
don't go in?
100
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:11,552
A girl.
101
00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:14,388
[snickering]
Oh, yeah.
102
00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:16,156
The other dudes
in the neighborhood are like,
103
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:17,758
"Hey, trick shot guy.
104
00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:19,259
"We got a bunch of girls
that wanna come over
105
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:20,594
and swim in your pool,"
106
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:23,564
and then he's like, "What?
No way.
107
00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:26,166
"I have to hit a soccer ball
with a wiffle bat
108
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:27,735
"and bounce it
off a basketball hoop
109
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,603
"onto a ledge.
110
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:32,039
"I can't do that with a bunch
of chicks running around here
111
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,273
"in bikinis.
112
00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:34,975
Get out of here."
113
00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:36,444
Yeah, yeah.
114
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:39,680
And then he fist pumps. Yeah.
115
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:40,814
"Yeah!
116
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:41,982
Got rid of those chicks."
117
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:43,417
Yeah. [laughs]
118
00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:45,519
I bet he does a lot
of fist pumping,
119
00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:47,721
if you know what I mean.
[guffaws]
120
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:50,190
[snickers] Yeah.
121
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,692
I got a little trick shot
122
00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:55,028
where I make it hit
the ceiling.
123
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:56,830
Uh...
124
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:59,232
that's disgusting, Beavis.
125
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,770
Took me all summer
to master it, too.
126
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,672
Uh, okay, Beavis,
127
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,375
I'm gonna try
a trick shot now.
128
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,309
I'm gonna take this can,
129
00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:12,112
and I'm gonna, like,
bounce it off the TV
130
00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:13,847
and then off your head
131
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,216
and then out the window.
132
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,852
This is gonna be cool.
133
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,522
Uh...
134
00:05:21,589 --> 00:05:22,556
[yelps]
135
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:23,891
Ow. [laughs]
136
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:25,559
Wait, I didn't see.
Did it go out the window?
137
00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:27,461
[snickers]
138
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:30,631
Uh... no. [laughs]
139
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:33,767
Guess I have to keep trying
until I get it right.
140
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,569
[snickers]
141
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:37,771
Okay, look
straight ahead, Beavis.
142
00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:40,408
Ah!
143
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:41,875
Damn it.
144
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,411
I think you're doing
something wrong, Butt-Head.
145
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:45,646
Let me try.
Yeah. [laughs]
146
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:48,482
Concentrate here.
147
00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:50,317
Line this thing up. Yeah.
148
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,259
Whoa. [coughs]
Ow.
149
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:02,329
What happened, Butt-Head?
Did it work?
150
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:05,298
Uh... no.
151
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,100
That sucked.
152
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:09,403
And you lost the can.
153
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:10,904
Ah, damn it.
154
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:14,374
Well, I guess
I gotta keep trying, you know?
155
00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:16,209
Let me see.
Maybe this rock would work.
156
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:17,878
[snickers]
157
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:20,013
Think I got this.
Yeah, yeah.
158
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,783
- [screams]
- [snickers]
159
00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:23,884
Dumbass.
160
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:28,288
Agh. Ow.
161
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,191
Whoa!
162
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:34,628
[coughing]
163
00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:36,830
These guys really know
how to party.
164
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,669
[scatting]
165
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,572
Jack. No.
166
00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:47,274
Social Security doesn't go
as far as it used to.
167
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,242
Yeah, no one lets us buy
anything cool.
168
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:50,978
No, they don't.
169
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:52,880
And now
they won't let me drive.
170
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,915
Yeah, me neither.
Yeah, it sucks.
171
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,151
Hello...
172
00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,152
Oh, hey, hey.
How's it going?
173
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,755
Yeah. I'm Beavis.
174
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:04,424
Oh, mm,
haven't seen you before.
175
00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:06,059
When did you move in?
176
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,761
I don't know, really.
177
00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:10,230
They just dropped me off here,
you know?
178
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:12,566
My kids did the same to me.
179
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:15,335
You know, there are so few men
at this place.
180
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:17,404
A girl can get lonely.
181
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:23,544
Um... um... what?
182
00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:26,079
You know,
a handsome old stud like you
183
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,348
could really brighten my day.
184
00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:31,318
How'd you like
to come back to my room?
185
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:33,587
Um, okay, yeah.
186
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:36,389
Is there, like, beer there
or something?
187
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:40,494
[laughs]
I like the way you think.
188
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,996
Yeah, thinking sucks.
189
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:53,240
Hmm, looks like
we're alone now.
190
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,109
Oh, candy, yeah.
That's pretty cool.
191
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:59,913
When was the last time
you were with a woman, Beavis?
192
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,281
Uh, I don't know.
193
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:03,517
I think, like, never
or something.
194
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,455
Whoa.
195
00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:09,857
Boi-oi-oing--
196
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,458
ow-ow-ow, my back!
197
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:12,526
Gah!
198
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,564
So that's
where that dumbass went.
199
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:21,669
Don't think
about your dead wife, Beavis.
200
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:24,738
She's gone, and I'm here.
201
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:26,607
Yeah, okay.
That sounds pretty cool.
202
00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:28,241
[doorknob clicks]
203
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,011
What the hell are you doing?
204
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:32,880
What?
Um...
205
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:35,415
Uh, what the hell
are you doing?
206
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:36,884
This is your grandson?
207
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:39,052
So nice of him to visit.
208
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:41,855
You're supposed to be
getting us beer, butthole.
209
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:43,924
Damn it, Butt-Head, go away!
210
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:46,159
Here, here, have some candy.
211
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,662
I don't want
your candy, dumbass.
212
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,463
Give me that.
213
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,532
Have
a Susan B. Anthony dollar.
214
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,001
Just get out of here!
215
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,403
I'm about to score
with this weird old lady.
216
00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:58,906
No way.
She wants to score with me.
217
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,608
She just gave me
this silver coin
218
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,676
that probably costs $10,000.
219
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,678
Pearl?
220
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:06,747
- Hey!
- Uh, Albert?
221
00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:10,183
What the hell are you two
doing in my wife's room?
222
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,686
I'm, like, trying to score
with her or something.
223
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:15,055
Yeah, me too.
224
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:16,757
God damn it!
225
00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:18,391
- Hey, cut it out!
- Ugh!
226
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:21,061
- Hey! [yelling]
- Oh, dear.
227
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:22,796
Ah, my back!
Ah, ah!
228
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:24,464
Oh, Albert,
229
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:26,634
oh, I've never seen
this side of you.
230
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,435
Kick his ass, Albert.
231
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:29,737
[screaming]
232
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:31,004
He's a horn dog.
233
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,539
Ow, my back!
Agh!
234
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:36,043
[groaning] Ow, my back.
235
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:38,445
Uh, like, watch your step.
236
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,616
Yeah, thank you.
[laughs]
237
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:46,286
Did I ever tell you
about the time I almost scored?
238
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,488
You sure did, Beavis.
239
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:50,057
You sure did.
240
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,160
I almost scored.
241
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:54,762
[snickers] My back.
242
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:56,296
Oh. [laughs]
243
00:09:57,064 --> 00:10:00,033
[martial tune]
244
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,077
Hello, I'm Tom Anderson,
245
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:13,013
veteran of two foreign wars.
246
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,315
The Battle of Incheon,
247
00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:17,317
the biggest naval invasion
248
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:20,721
since a little thing
called D-Day.
249
00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:22,089
Me and my platoon
250
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:24,191
were about to land
on Red Beach
251
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:26,026
when I noticed something
252
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:28,762
that changed
the whole ball game.
253
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:31,631
[dramatic music]
254
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:33,867
- You see that, Jackson?
- Yes, sir.
255
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:35,435
That machine gun nest's
got our boys pinned down--
256
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:37,805
Somebody didn't paint
this hull right,
257
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:40,073
and see?
You get rust.
258
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,175
Gotta mix
that primer correctly,
259
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,044
or you might as well
not even bother
260
00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:45,412
with the top coat.
261
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,980
Sir, we might all be dead
in a min--
262
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,849
See, the paint acts as a seal
263
00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:50,751
to keep out the salt water,
264
00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:53,586
because when salt and water
get together,
265
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:57,324
that's what I call
a recipe for rust.
266
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,292
I'm not gonna bore you with it,
267
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,962
but salt water
is full of ions...
268
00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,163
Sir, the beach is over there.
269
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:04,464
We're going
the wrong direction--
270
00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:07,167
And that speeds up
the oxidation process,
271
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,169
which I'll speak
more about later.
272
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:11,204
Anyway, I don't think
273
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:13,340
anybody's gonna be whooping
the Commies
274
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,542
without doing
their basic maintenance.
275
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:17,577
We're headed back
to the ship.
276
00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:19,713
- But sir...
- And Sergeant,
277
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,149
if anything happens to me,
278
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:23,984
give this to my wife.
279
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:26,319
[dramatic music]
280
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:29,422
It's instructions on how
to properly maintain
281
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:32,893
the oil furnace.
282
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,028
That boat did get repainted
283
00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,696
and lasted another three months
284
00:11:36,764 --> 00:11:39,299
before it was sunk
in the Sea of Japan,
285
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:42,135
killing everyone on board.
286
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,404
What happened
to that oil furnace?
287
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,740
Well... [laughs]
That's a tale
288
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:49,810
for the next "Tom Anderson's
War Stories,"
289
00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:51,779
and it's a doozy.
290
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:53,546
[laughs]
291
00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:01,521
[bluesy rock music]
292
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:05,125
♪ ♪
293
00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:08,695
You know, there's
nothing better
294
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:11,965
than going hunting
out here in God's country.
295
00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:14,968
Course, my old peepers
ain't what they used to be,
296
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:17,437
which is why I'm glad
you two boys
297
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,606
could come along
to be my spotters.
298
00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:22,910
[laughs]
We're gonna shoot a gun.
299
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,412
Yeah, yeah.
Tchk-tchk. Bang!
300
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:27,848
[imitates gunshots]
301
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:30,517
Uh, you'll have
to speak up now.
302
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:34,654
My yodel-catchers ain't
what they used to be neither.
303
00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:36,189
You're old.
304
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,727
- Whoa.
- Whoa.
305
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:43,263
Now, I'm used
to hunting alone, mind you.
306
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:45,899
My son used to always want
to come along with me,
307
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:48,936
but I like to hunt
by myself.
308
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:51,038
Yeah, yeah, I like
to do stuff by myself too.
309
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,240
[snickers]
You know what I'm saying?
310
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:56,209
Uh, but you two
are responsible young men,
311
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:59,346
not like those other two kids
around the neighborhood,
312
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:01,048
Beaufort and Bernardo.
313
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,150
[Spanish accent] Bernardo.
314
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:04,617
Yes, sir.
315
00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:06,753
We're, like, very responsible.
316
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:09,022
Can we, like, blow
stuff away now?
317
00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:11,791
[accented] Yeah, yeah,
I will blow away Bernardo.
318
00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:13,827
- Bang!
- [snickering]
319
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,662
Oh, no, no, no.
320
00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,530
No one's allowed to touch
this gun,
321
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,399
except yours truly, of course.
322
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:22,602
But y'all can carry the tent
and the beer cooler.
323
00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:24,504
Huh? [grunts]
324
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:25,939
What? [grunts]
325
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:27,841
Well, let's get 'er done,
326
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,576
like the funny man says.
327
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,079
[laughs]
328
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:36,549
Butt-Head, I wanted
to shoot the gun.
329
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:39,119
The outdoors sucks.
330
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:43,123
* I make breakfast
for all my pretty foes ♪
331
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,025
♪ And my boyfriend look
like DiCaprio ♪
332
00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:47,327
♪ I could strike a pose
for your poster, bro ♪
333
00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:49,930
Why is she so bored?
[laughs]
334
00:13:49,997 --> 00:13:51,798
Yeah, really.
335
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,700
What's her problem?
336
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:56,336
It was her idea to make
the video.
337
00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:57,704
Yeah, really.
338
00:13:57,770 --> 00:14:00,307
Yeah, no one's forced her
to do this.
339
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:02,742
Well, at least Jack Harlow's
not in it.
340
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:04,377
[laughs]
341
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:06,546
What? Again?
342
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:07,480
You gotta be kidding me.
343
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:08,982
[laughs]
344
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:10,550
* 'Cause I lie a lot ♪
345
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:12,986
Boy, he's only been rapping
for, like, five seconds,
346
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,487
and he's already exhausted.
347
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,723
[snickers]
348
00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:18,725
Yeah, he's like,
"Ugh, I suck.
349
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:21,861
Why am I pretending to tattoo?
No one's gonna believe this."
350
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:23,630
* In the back of a jeep ♪
351
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,198
Yeah. [laughs]
352
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,067
If Jack Harlow
was tattooing me,
353
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:30,337
I'd have him tattoo
"Jack Harlow sucks."
354
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:31,871
[laughs]
355
00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:34,407
Yeah, and he'd probably be
too bored to notice.
356
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:35,675
Yeah. [laughs]
357
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:36,843
"Yeah, yeah,
where do you want it?
358
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:39,546
Your arm? Your forehead?
I don't care."
359
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:40,680
Yeah. [laughs]
360
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:42,115
Then I'd be like,
361
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:44,417
"No, I want it
on your forehead."
362
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,453
[laughs]
363
00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:48,821
Yeah, he'd be like, "Okay.
364
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,124
I mean, I do suck. Ugh."
365
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:53,693
* I got the hot pot running
I'm a little unsteady ♪
366
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,428
Boy. [laughs]
367
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:58,598
She really doesn't like
her song here.
368
00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:01,468
"Why can't I be in a video
of something good?
369
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:04,237
[both laugh]
370
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:07,807
Yeah, she's like, "Ugh,
this song gives me a headache,
371
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:11,178
and so does my voice.
Ugh."
372
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,712
[laughs]
373
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:16,149
They think if they, like,
hate themselves first,
374
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,518
it'll make us
not wanna hate them,
375
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,287
but I hate them.
376
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:21,388
[laughs]
377
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:22,589
Yeah.
378
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,557
We're way ahead of you,
Audrey Nuna.
379
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,259
Yeah.
380
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:28,061
You gotta get up
pretty early in the morning
381
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:30,030
to hate yourself
more than I do.
382
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:35,602
You know, this here
is the most exciting part
383
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,170
of hunting, I tell you what:
384
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:39,973
just sitting out here
in nature.
385
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,409
Uh, this sucks.
386
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:43,876
- You know, 90%...
- I wanna shoot the gun.
387
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,846
Yeah.
This sucks.
388
00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:49,316
Whoa, Beavis, check it out.
389
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:51,084
[laughs]
390
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:52,885
At least we can drink
this beer,
391
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,921
and maybe this place
won't be so boring.
392
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:57,790
Oh, yeah. Cool.
393
00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,692
Ugh. Ugh. [coughs]
394
00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:02,629
[gagging]
395
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:05,698
Oh, now, that there
is my magic weapon.
396
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:07,134
The deer get a whiff of that,
397
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,802
and they come running
right quick.
398
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:11,804
Whoa.
Deers like beer?
399
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:13,973
That's weird.
400
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:15,475
We'd better hurry up
and chug it
401
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:17,877
before the dumb deers get here
and drink it all.
402
00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:20,213
Yeah, seriously.
403
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,883
Eh, my son used to beg me
to take him out here.
404
00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:25,918
Almost did, once.
405
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,288
He'd start getting in fights
at school.
406
00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:31,691
Marcie said he was just doing
it to get my attention.
407
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,493
But you see, my own father--
408
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,062
he was a hard man.
409
00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:37,164
Once, when I was a boy, I...
410
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:41,234
I've never told anyone this
before, but, well...
411
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,006
[both snickering]
412
00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:48,308
[imitates gunshots]
413
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:51,311
We have a gun.
414
00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:54,414
Bum-di-di-dam.
So what should we shoot?
415
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:57,617
Uh, how about everything
we see?
416
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,386
Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.
417
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:03,190
Yeah, good idea. Yeah.
418
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:04,357
Okay, let's see.
419
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,693
Where to start?
420
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:10,530
Like, ready, aim, something,
and, uh--
421
00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:13,100
agh!
[gunshot echoing]
422
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:17,204
Uh...
423
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,772
What was that noise?
424
00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:22,809
Well, anyway, I got home,
and Daddy said,
425
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:26,646
"No boy of mine is gonna be
in the school musical."
426
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:29,616
Damn it, Beavis,
you screwed up my turn.
427
00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:31,584
I get to shoot it again.
428
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:33,353
Yeah, damn it.
That sucks.
429
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:36,323
[gun clicking]
430
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,325
Damn it, the bullet's gone.
431
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,792
You dumbass.
432
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:42,962
Now I've gotta go find it
and put it back in the gun.
433
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:47,100
Can't send a boy
to do a man's job.
434
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:50,570
And by then, my boy had gone
without a daddy so long,
435
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:55,074
well, he--he learned
to go without one at all.
436
00:17:55,142 --> 00:17:56,743
Yeah, we need another bullet
for this
437
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:58,245
so we can shoot everything.
438
00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,979
What now?
439
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:04,651
Hell, you're right.
440
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:07,520
It may be too late
to go hunting with my son,
441
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:12,259
but it's not too late to start
something new with you boys.
442
00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:15,662
Let's go land us a buck.
443
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:18,998
Now, you just let me know
when you see a deer, son.
444
00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:23,536
Whoa, whoa, it's Butt-Head.
445
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,071
Yeah. [laughs]
446
00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:26,339
Buck head?
447
00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:27,874
You see a buck's head?
448
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:31,478
That bullet better be
around here somewhere,
449
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:33,146
or I'm gonna kick Beavis' ass.
450
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:35,515
Oh, oh, I see him.
451
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:37,584
I see him right there
in that brush.
452
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,686
Real scrawny fella.
453
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:42,255
[tense music]
454
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:43,623
Uh...
455
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:45,392
[buck groaning]
456
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,360
Whoa.
457
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:51,364
You can see his wiener.
[gunshot]
458
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:54,167
They got tired of scoring.
459
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:55,502
Oh, cool.
460
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,570
I found the bullet.
[gunshot]
461
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:00,907
Guns are cool.
462
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,512
Uh, I got the bullet
463
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:08,548
and then, like,
some other bullet.
464
00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:10,617
Well, boys,
we didn't land a buck,
465
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:15,021
but I think maybe we landed
something more important today.
466
00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:17,490
You know
I'm not the touchy-feely sort,
467
00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:20,227
but... well...
468
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:25,232
Ugh, you boys smell
something fierce.
469
00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:28,235
And whatever it is,
it's gotten all over me.
470
00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:29,936
Is that deer urine--oh!
471
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,038
Oh, Lord, no!
[buck moaning]
472
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:36,142
Whoa, Mr. Anderson
is, like, scoring with a deer.
473
00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:38,611
- Oh, somebody!
- Whoa, yeah, deers are cool.
474
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,146
- Yeah.
- Good Lord almighty!
475
00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:42,181
Tap that ass.
476
00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:44,083
Yeah.
477
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,653
Let's shoot
Mr. Anderson's truck.
478
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:50,189
[rock music]
479
00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:51,891
[imitates gunshots]
480
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,763
[bluesy rock music]
481
00:19:56,829 --> 00:20:03,936
♪ ♪
482
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,618
[chiming noises]
483
00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:20,086
Chirp.
30715
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