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1
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- ♪ MTV ♪
2
00:00:06,963 --> 00:00:09,139
[both chuckling]
3
00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:12,099
[rock music]
4
00:00:12,186 --> 00:00:19,062
♪ ♪
5
00:00:27,766 --> 00:00:28,898
- [snoring]
6
00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:30,465
- [mumbling]
7
00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:34,077
[hammer pounding]
- Ugh, damn it.
8
00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:36,471
How the hell are we supposed
to sleep with all this noise?
9
00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:37,689
- Eh.
10
00:00:39,952 --> 00:00:41,128
What's it say, Butt-Head?
11
00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:42,520
- Uh,
12
00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:48,439
"We re-serve
the rig-hut to re-fussy..."
13
00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:50,311
- It says,
"We reserve the right
14
00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:53,575
to refuse service to anyone."
15
00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:55,664
- Uh...
16
00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:57,666
- It means employees
can refuse service
17
00:00:57,753 --> 00:01:01,278
to a customer
who violates our policies.
18
00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:04,020
- Uh...
- Huh?
19
00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:05,630
- Like, if a customer creates
20
00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:08,242
an unsafe
or a hostile work environment.
21
00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:11,027
- Whoa, that would be cool.
22
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:13,290
[both chuckle]
- Yeah, unsafe kicks ass.
23
00:01:13,377 --> 00:01:16,293
[chuckles]
- Uh, wait a second.
24
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:19,862
So we can, like, refuse service
to anyone we want?
25
00:01:19,949 --> 00:01:22,560
- No, only if they
violate our policies
26
00:01:22,647 --> 00:01:27,304
or create an unsafe
or hostile work environment,
27
00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:29,263
- Cool.
[chuckles]
28
00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:31,047
Maybe work
wouldn't suck so much
29
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:33,093
if it was unsafe and hostile.
30
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:35,660
[chuckles]
- Yeah, motivation is cool.
31
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[chuckles]
32
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- ♪ Well, good for you,
you look happy and healthy ♪
33
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♪ Not me,
if you ever cared to ask ♪
34
00:01:43,886 --> 00:01:45,496
♪ Good for you ♪
35
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- These cheerleaders don't
seem all that great, you know?
36
00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:50,458
- Yeah, really.
37
00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:52,851
The cheerleaders at our school
are better than this,
38
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and half of 'em are pregnant.
39
00:01:54,897 --> 00:01:57,334
[both chuckle]
40
00:01:58,944 --> 00:02:01,425
- Yeah, that's cool.
[chuckles]
41
00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:04,385
- The coach is like,
"Olivia Rodrigo,
42
00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:07,083
"I've been noticing you've been
half-assing it at practice.
43
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:08,693
"You're supposed to be
44
00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:09,999
"cheering
for the Fighting Dolphins,
45
00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:11,392
not yelling
about your boyfriend."
46
00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:13,133
[chuckles]
47
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:15,613
- "When you wear this uniform,
you rep the school.
48
00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:16,658
"Now, if you
wanna go burn down
49
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:17,963
"Your boyfriend's house,
50
00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:18,921
you do it
in your street clothes."
51
00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:20,705
[chuckles]
52
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,316
"This is not gonna help us
beat the Wildcats."
53
00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:23,969
[chuckles]
54
00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:26,320
- ♪ Like a damn sociopath,
I've lost my mind ♪
55
00:02:26,407 --> 00:02:29,758
- Uh, what is that word,
"sociopath"?
56
00:02:29,845 --> 00:02:31,586
[chuckles]
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
57
00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:33,979
Yeah, I wonder what it means.
[chuckles]
58
00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:36,286
- That school psychiatrist
said I was one of those.
59
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,245
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
60
00:02:38,332 --> 00:02:41,944
- But it didn't matter, 'cause
I don't care about her at all.
61
00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:43,554
[both chuckle]
62
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:45,469
Or anyone else, really.
[chuckles]
63
00:02:45,556 --> 00:02:49,386
I don't care about others.
[chuckles]
64
00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:50,474
- ♪ Good for you ♪
65
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- You know, I would love
66
00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:54,870
to have a girl
be this mad at me
67
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because that means
that I scored with her before,
68
00:02:57,525 --> 00:02:59,309
you know?
69
00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,964
- Yeah, no girl will ever be
70
00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:03,922
this pissed off
about you, Beavis.
71
00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:05,794
- Yeah, yeah.
72
00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,926
No one's ever gonna
burn down my house.
73
00:03:08,013 --> 00:03:09,580
[chuckles]
74
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:11,669
I guess I'll just have
to do it myself.
75
00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:14,106
[chuckles]
- You'll die alone.
76
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,283
[both chuckle]
- Shut up, Butt-Head.
77
00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:17,458
[chuckles]
78
00:03:20,156 --> 00:03:22,593
- Hi,
I want a bacon cheeseburger
79
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,943
with lettuce and tomato,
but extra tomato,
80
00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:26,771
and a vanilla shake,
81
00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:29,470
and a large half-fries,
half-onion rings.
82
00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:33,082
- Uh, I refuse.
[chuckles]
83
00:03:33,169 --> 00:03:34,953
- What?
Why?
84
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,652
- You're, like,
creating a work environment.
85
00:03:37,739 --> 00:03:40,176
[chuckles]
- But you work here.
86
00:03:40,263 --> 00:03:41,482
Isn't this your job?
87
00:03:41,569 --> 00:03:43,571
- You just did it again,
dumbass.
88
00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:45,137
I'm sorry, sir.
89
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,835
I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave.
90
00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:48,793
[chuckles]
91
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:53,668
- Yeah, we'll have
three regular hamburgers.
92
00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:55,583
- Uh-huh.
- No ketchup on one of them.
93
00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:58,890
- [chuckles]
Ketchup sucks.
94
00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:02,894
- And we'll take
two orders of fries.
95
00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:04,853
- Would you like to try
our new Macho Hot Fries
96
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:07,029
for $1 more?
97
00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:07,856
- Sounds good.
98
00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:10,380
- [chuckles]
99
00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:12,730
- You got all that?
100
00:04:12,817 --> 00:04:14,471
- No.
101
00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:16,517
- What do you mean, "No"?
102
00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:18,083
- I refuse.
[chuckles]
103
00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:19,911
I'm not gonna make it,
104
00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:22,784
'cause you're, like,
violating our policies.
105
00:04:22,871 --> 00:04:26,396
- How exactly am I
violating your policies?
106
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:29,007
- Um, what's the policy again?
107
00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:30,400
[chuckles]
108
00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:32,315
- Would you just give us
our food?
109
00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:34,535
- I think it's, like, you're
being a butthole or something.
110
00:04:34,622 --> 00:04:35,666
[chuckles]
111
00:04:35,753 --> 00:04:38,539
And, like, you suck.
[chuckles]
112
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Thank you.
Drive through.
113
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:41,193
[chuckles]
114
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,674
We won't be
needing this anymore.
115
00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:45,110
- Can we have
two junior burger meals
116
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with the apple slices?
117
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:49,158
And I'll have a salad.
118
00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:52,814
- Uh, no, you cannot.
- We know our rights, ma'am.
119
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[chuckles]
- We sure do.
120
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They're on that sign
full of words.
121
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[chuckles]
122
00:04:58,210 --> 00:05:00,038
- Um, Butt-Head,
123
00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:01,910
that's the sign that shows you
how to choke somebody.
124
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:03,303
[chuckles]
125
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,566
- Okay, I wanna see
the manager right now.
126
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:08,743
- I refuse.
[both chuckling]
127
00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:10,788
- Ugh.
128
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:13,748
- Yeah, and don't come back!
[door slams]
129
00:05:13,835 --> 00:05:15,140
Thank you
for choosing Burger World.
130
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:17,273
[chuckles]
131
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:20,363
- Hey, guys, we're here, and
today, we've got some new items
132
00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:22,713
to the studio, and I'm super,
super excited about it.
133
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,541
I'm not quite sure
what's in here.
134
00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:28,589
- Oh, this is that video where
he unboxes real human skulls.
135
00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:30,025
[chuckles]
- Yeah, that's messed up.
136
00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:31,505
[chuckles]
137
00:05:31,592 --> 00:05:33,898
- If you're unboxing
real human skulls,
138
00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:35,204
you shouldn't start out with,
139
00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:36,901
"Hey, guys,
I'm super, super excited."
140
00:05:36,988 --> 00:05:39,077
[chuckles]
141
00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:40,078
- Yeah, really.
142
00:05:40,165 --> 00:05:41,428
Your start out like--
143
00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:44,126
[cackles]
144
00:05:44,213 --> 00:05:46,128
Like that Crypt Keeper dude,
you know?
145
00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:47,303
Like, how he's always
making puns, you know?
146
00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:48,783
[chuckles]
147
00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:54,136
"Welcome, boils and ghouls."
[chuckles]
148
00:05:54,223 --> 00:05:57,139
- "If you are watching,
you just might get a head."
149
00:05:57,226 --> 00:05:59,620
[chuckles]
150
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:01,535
- "Oh, what have we here?
151
00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:04,364
This is to remind you
to stay in skull."
152
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:07,976
[both chuckle]
153
00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:09,978
Wait a minute.
[chuckles]
154
00:06:10,065 --> 00:06:11,849
Wait,
where do they get these skulls?
155
00:06:11,936 --> 00:06:14,156
- Uh, from dead people.
156
00:06:14,243 --> 00:06:16,463
[chuckles]
157
00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:17,899
- Wait a minute,
so he--so he's, like,
158
00:06:17,986 --> 00:06:19,596
a serial killer or something?
159
00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:21,990
- Yeah.
[chuckles]
160
00:06:22,077 --> 00:06:24,471
"Breaking news:
Police have just arrested a man
161
00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:27,038
known as
the dumbass-who-shows-off-
162
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,562
his-skulls-on-YouTube killer."
163
00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:31,086
[both chuckle]
164
00:06:31,173 --> 00:06:34,176
"Neighbors said he seems
like a serial killer,
165
00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:36,047
and he's got a bunch of skulls
in his apartment."
166
00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:38,006
[chuckles]
167
00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:39,964
- "Neighbors said he would
show off his skulls
168
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:42,489
"and say,
'Meet my new tomb-mate.'"
169
00:06:42,576 --> 00:06:44,316
[cackles]
170
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,014
[both chuckle]
171
00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:47,581
- Yeah.
[chuckles]
172
00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:49,757
"Would you like to come
into my apartment
173
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:52,150
and take a whiz
in the bath-tomb?"
174
00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:53,195
[chuckles]
175
00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:54,762
- [chuckles]
176
00:06:54,849 --> 00:06:57,808
He's like...
[cackles]
177
00:06:57,895 --> 00:07:00,985
"These skulls give me
a bone-r."
178
00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:03,205
[chuckles]
179
00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:05,033
You know, yeah, 'cause the bone
is, like, you know--
180
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,861
skull is, like, a bone,
you know.
181
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:10,168
[chuckles]
- Uh, yes, I get it, Beavis.
182
00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:13,084
[chuckles]
Don't run it into the ground.
183
00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:15,217
[chuckles]
184
00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:18,089
- But I'm getting
grave reviews.
185
00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:20,831
[chuckles]
186
00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:24,444
- I'm going to kick your ass.
187
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:26,837
Now shut up.
[chuckles]
188
00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:29,013
- You know, yeah,
wait a second.
189
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:30,754
I don't think I get that one.
190
00:07:30,841 --> 00:07:32,800
- This was an old,
old preparation...
191
00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:35,846
- That guy, who the skull
belong to, is like,
192
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:38,109
"You know,
I lived a good life.
193
00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:41,548
"I raised a family, and now
this dumbass is playing
194
00:07:41,635 --> 00:07:43,201
with my skull on YouTube."
195
00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:45,595
[chuckles]
196
00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:47,249
- Man, this is really
messed up, Butt-Head.
197
00:07:47,336 --> 00:07:49,381
Think maybe
we should call the police?
198
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,775
- Uh, nah.
199
00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:53,864
[chuckles]
It's not my problem.
200
00:07:53,951 --> 00:07:55,039
[chuckles]
- Oh, yeah.
201
00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:56,867
[chuckles]
202
00:07:56,954 --> 00:07:58,739
Yeah, it's not my skull.
[chuckles]
203
00:07:58,826 --> 00:08:01,045
- I hope you guys enjoy it.
Ciao.
204
00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:02,482
- "Ciao.
205
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:04,222
I'm gonna go chow down
on some human flesh."
206
00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:05,528
[both chuckle]
207
00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:13,144
[cars honking]
208
00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:16,060
- Uh, can I get a double
cheeseburger, large fries,
209
00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:17,148
and a root beer?
210
00:08:17,235 --> 00:08:18,976
- Yes, you can,
211
00:08:19,063 --> 00:08:20,369
but not here.
212
00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:22,676
I refuse.
[chuckles]
213
00:08:22,763 --> 00:08:24,721
- Butt-Head, Butt-Head.
[chuckles]
214
00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:26,244
There's a hot chick in line.
Check her out.
215
00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:28,551
[chuckles]
Should I refuse her?
216
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:31,728
- Whoa, she's creating
a hostile environment
217
00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:33,164
in my pants.
218
00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:35,210
[both chuckle]
219
00:08:35,297 --> 00:08:37,342
- Hey, yeah, really.
220
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,954
It's getting unsafe in there.
[chuckles]
221
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:42,913
- Let me handle this, Beavis.
[chuckles]
222
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,959
- Um, I guess
I could let you handle it.
223
00:08:45,046 --> 00:08:47,004
But I was kind of hoping
the hot chick would--
224
00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:49,311
[screaming]
225
00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:50,312
I thought you meant--
226
00:08:50,399 --> 00:08:51,661
[crash]
Ahh!
227
00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:53,228
- Stop it.
Don't you ever--
228
00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:55,012
[impacts]
- Ah-ah-oh!
229
00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:56,753
- Get out there.
[chuckles]
230
00:09:01,323 --> 00:09:04,108
- What's this about you guys
refusing to serve people?
231
00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:07,198
- Nothing could be further
from the truth, ma'am.
232
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:08,939
I'll have Beavis
bring you everything
233
00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:10,724
from our entire menu.
234
00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:15,163
- I am servicing
the right to reserve you.
235
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:18,296
- Uh, and allow me to provide
you a little entertainment.
236
00:09:18,383 --> 00:09:19,689
[chuckles]
237
00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:21,865
Check this out.
[chuckles]
238
00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:25,869
Uh, you, and, uh,
you over there,
239
00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:28,655
we reserve the right
to refuse you service,
240
00:09:28,742 --> 00:09:30,570
unless you fight.
241
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,354
[chuckles]
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
242
00:09:32,441 --> 00:09:34,486
Fight.
[chuckles]
243
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,619
Winner gets to eat, yeah.
[chuckles]
244
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:38,665
- And the loser
shall be refused.
245
00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:40,101
That is our right,
and we reserve it.
246
00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:41,798
- This is bullshit.
247
00:09:41,885 --> 00:09:44,105
I'm not gonna hurt this guy
for a lousy cheeseburger.
248
00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:46,020
- Yeah, except, you know,
you wouldn't hurt me.
249
00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:48,326
all: Ooh!
250
00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:49,980
- He just said
he can kick your ass.
251
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:52,113
- You'll be on the floor
in about five seconds.
252
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,201
- Yeah, fight, fight!
- You wanna go?
253
00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:54,245
You wanna go?
254
00:09:54,332 --> 00:09:55,290
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
255
00:09:55,377 --> 00:09:57,248
- Kick his ass.
256
00:09:57,335 --> 00:09:59,860
- Worldstar.
257
00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:01,862
- Hey!
258
00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:05,169
[both chuckling]
259
00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:09,260
- Well, we did it, Beavis.
260
00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:12,829
This place is an unsafe
and hostile work environment.
261
00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:15,005
- Yeah, manager's gonna be
really proud of us, you know?
262
00:10:15,092 --> 00:10:17,225
- It's a good thing
he put up that sign.
263
00:10:17,312 --> 00:10:18,661
[indistinct yelling]
264
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:20,576
- I guess it's not up anymore.
265
00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:22,186
Oh, there it is.
266
00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:24,319
[chuckles]
267
00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:25,320
Butt-Head, the sign broke.
268
00:10:25,407 --> 00:10:27,496
- Eh, damn it.
269
00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:29,106
Now we have
to serve people again.
270
00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:30,847
[chuckles]
271
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:32,936
- Yeah, this job sucks.
272
00:10:33,023 --> 00:10:35,896
[police siren wailing]
273
00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:44,426
[rock music]
274
00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:47,429
♪ ♪
275
00:10:47,516 --> 00:10:50,214
[both chuckling]
276
00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:56,307
- That statue kicks ass.
277
00:10:56,394 --> 00:10:58,353
- Yeah, yeah.
[both chuckle]
278
00:10:58,440 --> 00:10:59,571
What kind of pants are those?
279
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,399
- They're yoga pants, dumbass.
280
00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:03,793
Everybody knows that.
[chuckles]
281
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,317
- Well, that statue sure looks
good in those yoga pants.
282
00:11:06,404 --> 00:11:08,102
[chuckles]
- It sure does.
283
00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:10,321
[chuckles]
- [chuckles]
284
00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:13,629
Yoga pants.
[chuckles]
285
00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:15,239
Mm.
286
00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:16,980
Um, Butt-Head?
287
00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:18,721
I wonder if I would look sexy
in yoga pants.
288
00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:19,983
[chuckles]
Yeah.
289
00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:22,159
- Everyone looks sexy
in yoga pants.
290
00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:25,162
- Yeah, except for you, Beavis,
291
00:11:25,249 --> 00:11:26,990
'cause you're disgusting.
292
00:11:27,077 --> 00:11:28,905
- No way, Butt-Head.
[chuckles]
293
00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:30,428
You heard what she said.
294
00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:32,213
I'm gonna listen to a chick
and not you.
295
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:33,823
[chuckles]
296
00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:35,695
I'm gonna go get
some yoga pants,
297
00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:37,435
and then I shall score.
298
00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:39,437
[chuckles]
299
00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:41,309
- [slurps]
300
00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:44,225
- You've seen it before,
but not on this scale.
301
00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:46,183
[laughs]
302
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:49,404
I thought we all needed
cheering up, myself included.
303
00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:51,667
So I know how you love
a little bit of rock cooking.
304
00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:54,017
I thought I'd go OTT with it.
305
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:56,498
- You know--you know,
Butt-Head, um,
306
00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:58,326
sometimes I worry that
I'll never score, you know?
307
00:11:58,413 --> 00:11:59,719
But, um--
308
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:02,591
but this guy will never score.
309
00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:05,072
- Yeah, I don't see
how he could.
310
00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:07,335
[chuckles]
311
00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:08,684
- Is this the outback
or something?
312
00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:11,426
- He's in the outback
313
00:12:11,513 --> 00:12:13,210
'cause his wife
kicked him out,
314
00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:16,083
and now he's living out back
behind his mom's house.
315
00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:18,694
[chuckles]
316
00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:21,566
- "Mom, can I play breakfast
in the backyard again?"
317
00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:23,917
[both chuckle]
318
00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:29,618
- This guy's survival skill,
is it, like, if he runs out
319
00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:32,316
of food, he just goes
to his mom's house
320
00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:34,449
and gets a bunch
of stuff out of the fridge?
321
00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:38,279
[both chuckle]
322
00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:40,237
- And then he just goes
into the backyard
323
00:12:40,324 --> 00:12:41,412
and cooks it all, yeah.
324
00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:43,284
[chuckles]
325
00:12:43,371 --> 00:12:44,589
On one of those tiles
from the roof, yeah.
326
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,417
[chuckles]
327
00:12:46,504 --> 00:12:48,158
- Why didn't he just, like,
get some Froot Loops
328
00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:49,333
or something?
329
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:51,901
[both chuckle]
330
00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:54,643
This breakfast
is a cry for help.
331
00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:57,341
[both chuckle]
332
00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:02,346
He made a face
out of eggs and sausage
333
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:03,521
'cause he's lonely.
334
00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:06,481
[both chuckle]
335
00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:11,225
- "Let's make some
pancake boobs here."
336
00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:14,184
[both chuckle]
337
00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:16,360
- He's like,
"I'm cooking for two
338
00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:19,407
"in case Jennifer comes back.
Has anyone seen her?
339
00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:22,018
No?
Well, that means more for me."
340
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:23,672
[chuckles]
341
00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:25,761
- This is turning out
to be a great day
342
00:13:25,848 --> 00:13:28,633
without Jennifer,
and many more to come, yeah.
343
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:29,896
[chuckles]
344
00:13:31,549 --> 00:13:32,942
" Yeah, my ex-wife
likes oranges,
345
00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:35,684
so I guess I'll make her
some orange juice.
346
00:13:35,771 --> 00:13:37,642
[chuckles]
347
00:13:37,729 --> 00:13:39,644
- And I'll make it here
in her sawed-off leg bone.
348
00:13:39,731 --> 00:13:42,647
[both chuckle]
349
00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:46,651
- That was lovely.
350
00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:48,436
- [chuckles]
351
00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:51,613
Yup, all good things
must come to an end,
352
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:54,921
like this filthy breakfast
and my marriage of 14 months.
353
00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:57,097
[both chuckle]
354
00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:59,055
- Come on, Butt-Head.
This is getting too sad.
355
00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:00,274
[chuckles]
356
00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:02,842
- Yeah.
[chuckles]
357
00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:05,061
"And now I filled
this backpack with rocks,
358
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:06,802
and I'm just gonna go
walk into the ocean."
359
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:10,850
[both chuckle]
- Yeah.
360
00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:14,288
- "In the next episode, you'll
be seeing an outback funeral."
361
00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:17,813
[both chuckle]
362
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:20,207
"Let me know if she's there."
[chuckles]
363
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:22,600
"She'll probably cry,
and then she'll regret
364
00:14:22,687 --> 00:14:24,472
running off
with her college roommate."
365
00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:26,604
- Yeah.
[both chuckle]
366
00:14:26,691 --> 00:14:29,172
She'll be like, "You know,
if I hadn't left him,
367
00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:32,393
"he'd still be alive and
cooking me a filthy breakfast
368
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:33,785
on a rock."
369
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,570
[both chuckle]
370
00:14:35,657 --> 00:14:38,355
- "And don't forget,
if you like this video,
371
00:14:38,442 --> 00:14:39,617
can you please go
find my wife?"
372
00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:41,402
[both chuckle]
373
00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:42,882
- Just smash
that find-my-wife button.
374
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:46,102
[both chuckle]
375
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:50,150
Go get me some yoga pants.
376
00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:52,804
Ooh, yeah.
[chuckles]
377
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:56,547
- Uh, here you go, Beavis.
[chuckles]
378
00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:59,333
- Um, those look kind of small,
Butt-Head.
379
00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:01,465
- Of course they look small,
dumbass.
380
00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:04,033
That's because they, like,
stretch and stuff so that
381
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,775
they can, like, rearrange
your butt or something.
382
00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:08,429
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
That makes sense, yeah.
383
00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:10,561
[chuckles]
This is gonna be cool.
384
00:15:10,648 --> 00:15:11,606
[chuckles]
385
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:15,827
- [slurps]
- Okay.
386
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,090
I'll take these off.
387
00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:18,961
Here we go.
[chuckles]
388
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:20,267
Ah.
389
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:22,660
Hey, how's it going?
[chuckles]
390
00:15:22,747 --> 00:15:26,273
Hey, Butt-Head,
I'm, like, naked in a place
391
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,971
that, like,
chicks have been naked in.
392
00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:30,668
- Cool.
[chuckles]
393
00:15:30,755 --> 00:15:33,236
- Boing, oing, oing.
- [chuckles]
394
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:34,629
- Okay, okay.
[chuckles]
395
00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:36,544
- [slurps]
- Put these bad boys on.
396
00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:37,632
[chuckles]
397
00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:40,635
[grunting]
398
00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:50,819
- [slurps]
399
00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:54,083
- [grunting]
400
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,741
About halfway there.
401
00:15:59,828 --> 00:16:02,352
[grunting]
402
00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:03,658
Son of a bitch!
403
00:16:03,745 --> 00:16:04,833
[elastic snaps]
404
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,443
[sighs]
Okay.
405
00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:08,010
[chuckles]
Here we go.
406
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:09,794
How do I look?
[chuckles]
407
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:13,711
- Uh, Beavis?
408
00:16:13,798 --> 00:16:15,931
- Pretty sexy.
409
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:18,368
[chuckles]
- Uh, Beavis?
410
00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:19,630
[chuckles]
- Yeah, I'd tap that.
411
00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:21,241
Yeah--ooh.
[chuckles]
412
00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:25,375
- Uh, Beavis, it looks like
you don't have any nads.
413
00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:26,246
- What?
What're you talking about?
414
00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:28,552
- Or a schlong.
[chuckles]
415
00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:30,206
- No way, Butt-Head.
My schlong is right--
416
00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:33,514
[screams]
417
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:34,732
No, what happened to my nads?
- [chuckles]
418
00:16:34,819 --> 00:16:36,604
- I know they're in there
'cause these pants
419
00:16:36,691 --> 00:16:39,085
are really making 'em hurt.
420
00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:40,825
- Uh, you better take 'em off
421
00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:42,740
before any chicks see you,
Beavis.
422
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:45,265
That's embarrassing.
- [grunting]
423
00:16:45,352 --> 00:16:46,483
They won't come off,
Butt-Head.
424
00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:47,745
[grunts]
425
00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:49,399
My wiener's going numb.
[screaming]
426
00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:53,099
- Just get ahold of yourself,
Beavis.
427
00:16:53,186 --> 00:16:55,144
Hold of yourself.
[chuckles]
428
00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:57,103
- I can't get 'em off.
Ahh!
429
00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:03,674
- [grunting]
You gotta help me, Butt-Head.
430
00:17:03,761 --> 00:17:07,287
These pants are cutting off
oxygen to my schlong.
431
00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:11,247
- Hmm, we need to find a place
that sells schlong oxygen.
432
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:12,944
- No, we gotta find something
to get 'em off
433
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,990
before my wiener dies.
434
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:16,165
Damn it.
[grumbles]
435
00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:18,733
- We just need to,
like, oil 'em up,
436
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:20,778
and then they'll
just slide right off.
437
00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:23,042
Now just wait over there.
438
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:26,349
I'll be right back.
[chuckles]
439
00:17:26,436 --> 00:17:30,353
- Care to try our new
olive oils from Tuscany?
440
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,442
- Okay, Beavis,
I got you some oil,
441
00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:34,749
and it has Tuscany in it.
442
00:17:34,836 --> 00:17:36,577
- What's that?
443
00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:38,622
- I don't know,
but it'll grease you up good.
444
00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:40,755
Open up your pants.
[chuckles]
445
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:47,588
- It's not working, Butt-Head.
446
00:17:47,675 --> 00:17:50,286
- That's 'cause you need
some muscle, dumbass.
447
00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:52,201
Hold on to that thing,
and let a real man do this.
448
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:58,120
- Uh, Butt-Head, Butt-Head.
449
00:17:58,207 --> 00:17:58,947
Butt-Head,
I'm starting to slip.
450
00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:01,080
- Hold on, dumbass.
451
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:02,603
- I can't.
- Almost got it.
452
00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:04,300
- No, Butt-Head.
453
00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:05,562
No, no, no--oh, no!
454
00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:07,173
Ahh!
455
00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:11,916
[screaming]
456
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:22,188
- [chuckles]
That was cool.
457
00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:24,494
[chuckles]
458
00:18:24,581 --> 00:18:26,496
- [grunts]
459
00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:28,150
I can't get up, Butt-Head.
460
00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:30,892
Ow, ah.
[grunting]
461
00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:33,677
It just keeps going down.
462
00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:37,028
- Uh, don't worry, Beavis.
I'm gonna go get help.
463
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,247
- Ow.
[grunting]
464
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:39,727
- Going down.
[chuckles]
465
00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:41,946
- Oh, yeah.
[grunting]
466
00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:43,470
Eh, but really, Butt-Head,
come on.
467
00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:45,863
Ah, ow, ah.
468
00:18:46,864 --> 00:18:49,389
- Uh, excuse me.
469
00:18:49,476 --> 00:18:51,130
We need help and stuff.
470
00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:52,087
- What's the problem?
471
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:56,047
- Uh, my friend has no nads.
472
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:59,921
[grunts]
Ah, ow, ah, ow, ah!
473
00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:01,618
- Uh, he says he doesn't know
how to help you, Beavis.
474
00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:02,750
- Damn it.
475
00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:06,232
[grunting]
476
00:19:06,319 --> 00:19:08,625
- Well, I'll see you at home.
477
00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:10,453
- [screams]
- Let me know how it turns out.
478
00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:12,542
[chuckles]
- Okay, see you later.
479
00:19:12,629 --> 00:19:13,935
Damn it.
480
00:19:14,022 --> 00:19:17,112
Ah, ow.
Ah, ow.
481
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:21,812
[grunting]
482
00:19:24,598 --> 00:19:25,512
Ah!
483
00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:27,992
Damn it.
484
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:33,259
[snoring]
485
00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:40,483
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
486
00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:41,963
[chuckles]
487
00:19:44,444 --> 00:19:45,662
[snoring]
488
00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:48,665
[coughs]
489
00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:51,364
[snoring]
490
00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:10,078
- Chirp.
31248
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