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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,737
- * MTV *
2
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,443
[both snickering]
3
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:12,446
[rock music]
4
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:19,420
* *
5
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:26,260
- Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
6
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:27,728
you've heard all the evidence.
7
00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:31,265
The man before you is accused
of serious crimes.
8
00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:33,834
And now he will be judged
by you,
9
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,669
a jury of his peers.
10
00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:37,605
- [snickering]
Pee-ers.
11
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:40,908
[both chuckling]
12
00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:44,011
- You may begin
your deliberations.
13
00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:46,347
I have faith in you.
14
00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:53,020
[both chuckling]
15
00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:55,589
- Okay, the evidence
is pretty overwhelming.
16
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:59,127
It clearly shows the defendant
robbed a Maxi-Mart at gunpoint,
17
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,395
threw a keg of beer
through the front window,
18
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:05,866
and got away with $600
and five cartons of cigarettes.
19
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:09,670
- Whoa, that guy sounds pretty
cool.
20
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:10,671
I wanna meet him.
21
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,039
- Yeah, really.
22
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:13,941
Yeah, they should've brought
him to this trial.
23
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:16,009
Wouldn't have been so boring.
24
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,711
- He was at the trial.
25
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:20,281
He was sitting at that table
the whole time,
26
00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:22,049
- You mean that guy
in the black dress?
27
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:24,618
- That old wuss robbed a store?
28
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:26,987
- No, that's the judge.
29
00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:28,689
The defendant robbed the store.
30
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:30,124
- Oh.
31
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:33,894
Well, the defendant kicks ass.
32
00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:35,296
- Okay.
33
00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:37,131
Well, we all heard
the eyewitness
34
00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:38,632
and saw the surveillance video.
35
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:40,334
Unless anyone objects,
36
00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:43,704
I think we should go ahead
and vote on all counts.
37
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:45,038
Guilty.
- Guilty.
38
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,540
- Guilty.
- Guilty.
39
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:47,608
- Guilty.
40
00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:48,709
- Guilty.
- Guilty.
41
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:49,777
- Guilty.
42
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:51,412
- Guilty.
- Guilty.
43
00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:54,014
- Uh, not guilty.
44
00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:56,484
- Yeah, yeah, not guilty.
Yeah, that's right.
45
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:58,051
- What do you mean
he's not guilty?
46
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:01,989
- Uh, I'm gonna, like,
vote for him
47
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,692
'cause he's, like, cool.
- Yeah, yeah.
48
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:07,361
Yeah, 'cause he did
all those cool crimes.
49
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,096
You guys saw it.
50
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,499
- So you believe
he did the crimes.
51
00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:12,600
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
52
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,101
- They were cool.
53
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,770
- So then
that means he's guilty.
54
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:19,173
- That's your opinion, ma'am.
55
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,374
- Wh--what are you saying?
56
00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:25,012
- Uh, what I'm saying is
this guy's cool.
57
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:27,781
He did kick-ass crimes.
58
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:30,451
- Yeah, he was brave.
59
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:33,053
I'd like to see any of you
try those cool crimes.
60
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,756
- But that's what the word
"guilty" means.
61
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,325
He did the crimes.
62
00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,193
So both of you are voting
"guilty," right?
63
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:42,029
- Boy, Butthead,
this lady just doesn't get it.
64
00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:44,298
Wow.
- Yeah.
65
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:47,100
I guess we're gonna be here
a while.
66
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:54,508
- So we get $14 a day for this?
That's not bad.
67
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:55,876
- * Whores in this house *
68
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:57,678
* There's some whores
in this house *
69
00:02:57,745 --> 00:02:59,480
* There's some whores
in this house *
70
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,315
* There's some whores in this
house *
71
00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:02,816
* There's some whores
in this house *
72
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,385
- This looks like
one of those videos
73
00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:06,287
where they're trying
to sell a house.
74
00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:07,955
- Yeah, like that time
we went to that open house
75
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,390
to get free cookies
76
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:11,959
and they made us watch a video.
77
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:12,993
- * Ah *
78
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,629
- Yeah. She was like,
79
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:18,632
"Can I answer any questions
about the property?"
80
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,301
- Yeah, yeah.
"Um, I was wondering,
81
00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:22,736
are there any whores
in this house?"
82
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,004
- "Yes, there are.
83
00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:26,774
There are several whores
in this house."
84
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:30,077
- "The house does include
a big ol' butt on the wall,
85
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:31,979
"and lots of boobs.
86
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,614
And a tiger."
87
00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:35,949
- "Oh, and the tigers
are also whores.
88
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:37,985
And they are included."
89
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,620
- "The schools are fantastic,
90
00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:41,221
"there's some whores
in this house,
91
00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:43,691
and the roof is brand new."
92
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,293
- * Ah *
93
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,428
- "The house also has
an Olympic-sized pool
94
00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:50,063
that's one foot deep."
95
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,732
- "Yeah, it's great
for little kids
96
00:03:51,799 --> 00:03:53,233
"or whores, you know.
97
00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:55,903
Or both, you know."
98
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:58,739
- "Uh, ma'am, I have a question
about the plumbing.
99
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:02,376
I've heard it can get
wet and gushy in here."
100
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:03,944
- "Uh, yes, sir, it can,
101
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,946
"and that's just because of
the whores, you know.
102
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:08,782
There are some whores
in this house, you know."
103
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:12,653
- * Macaroni in a pot,
that's some wet and gushy *
104
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,523
- You know, that's really
disgusting, Butthead.
105
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,957
I mean, it's okay for grownups
106
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:19,860
but they should make
a clean version of this song.
107
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:23,063
You know, like, "damp vagina,"
or--I mean, not that,
108
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,098
but you know, like--
but maybe that.
109
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:27,501
I mean, you know,
"damp vagina,"
110
00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:29,837
kinda has a ring to it,
you know.
111
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,772
Kinda romantic.
112
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:34,642
- Well, I wish we had
some whores in this house.
113
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,410
- I guess.
114
00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:39,212
I don't even know where we'd
put 'em though, you know?
115
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,749
Does this couch fold out?
116
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:44,518
- Uh...I don't know.
117
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:46,520
It doesn't matter anyway.
118
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:49,357
There's no whores
in this house.
119
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:57,698
- All right, let's go through
the charges one at a time.
120
00:04:57,765 --> 00:05:01,068
First, the charge of
attempted manslaughter.
121
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,004
- "Manslaughter,"
that's pretty cool.
122
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,807
Manslaughter.
[both snickering]
123
00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:11,712
- The eyewitness says he saw--
- Manslaughter!
124
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:14,081
- The eyewitness says--
- The slaughter of man!
125
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:17,451
[both snickering]
126
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:20,754
Sorry, sorry. Go--go ahead.
Proceed.
127
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:27,528
- The eyewitness says
he saw the defendant
128
00:05:27,595 --> 00:05:29,663
point the gun directly--
- Manslaughter!
129
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:33,100
- God dammit!
Will you shut the hell up?
130
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,268
- Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry.
131
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,772
It's just, you know,
"manslaughter."
132
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,874
- Maybe if we watch
the surveillance video again
133
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,843
it'll help these two
make up their minds.
134
00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,578
- Good idea.
135
00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,181
- Oh, hey, hey, check it out.
136
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:50,884
It's that cool guy again.
- Yeah.
137
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:53,587
Maybe he'll actually shoot
someone this time.
138
00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:58,325
- Yeah, and then he'll be
guilty of manslaughter.
139
00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:01,429
- This is the same video
you already watched.
140
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:02,896
Just shut up and pay attention.
141
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:04,865
- Wait, I see something.
142
00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:07,668
Stop the tape.
143
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:10,237
Don't you all see that?
[groans]
144
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:13,040
Look closer.
145
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:16,309
- Wait a second. He's right.
146
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,511
Look at his neck tattoo.
147
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,312
It's different than
the defendant's.
148
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,482
- It's the same.
It's a devil tattoo.
149
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:23,784
- No, look,
those horns are curved.
150
00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:25,986
The defendant's
has straight horns,
151
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,755
- That tattoo kicks ass,
152
00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:30,057
but what I saw was something
even more important.
153
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,358
Take a closer look.
154
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:35,362
This guy's butt crack
is showing.
155
00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:37,498
[both snickering]
156
00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:40,934
- He's just walking around
with his butt hanging out.
157
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,937
- It was in the courtroom.
158
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,306
- Right, that's the eyewitness.
159
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:48,542
He said he could clearly
identify the defendant,
160
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:49,910
but look where he is.
161
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,379
There's no way
he could've gotten a good look.
162
00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:54,782
- Oh, my God,
he's blocked by the shelves.
163
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,183
He can't see a thing.
164
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,152
- Well, I'll be.
165
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,254
- Everyone saw his butt.
166
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:02,590
[both snickering]
167
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:05,726
- His butt was on the news.
168
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:09,429
This changes everything.
It's an open and shut case.
169
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,168
- Well, I can't believe
I'm saying this,
170
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:19,507
but I think we owe
these two jurors our thanks
171
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:23,076
for making us slow down and
consider all the evidence.
172
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:26,847
Without them, we would've sent
an innocent man to jail.
173
00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:29,216
Let's vote again.
174
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,884
Not guilty.
- Not guilty.
175
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,052
- Not guilty.
176
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:32,953
- Not guilty.
- Not guilty.
177
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,187
- Not guilty.
178
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,823
- Not guilty.
- Not guilty.
179
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:36,890
- Not guilty.
180
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,659
- Not guilty.
- Not guilty.
181
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:39,860
- Guilty.
182
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:42,429
- Yeah, guilty.
183
00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:45,933
- But you helped us prove
he's not the right guy.
184
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:47,935
- Exactly.
185
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,937
He pretended to be cool,
186
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,172
and for that,
he must pay the price.
187
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,974
- Yeah, put him in the slammer!
188
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:56,910
You can't just go around
and pretend to be cool
189
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,512
and have cops arrest you
190
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:00,313
just so that
the chicks will be impressed
191
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,182
and then come in here
in a black dress
192
00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:04,618
and bang a hammer
all over the place.
193
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,119
No way!
194
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:09,222
I'm tired of coddling
these people.
195
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,791
And they're a burden
on the system!
196
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,793
- God dammit.
197
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:15,128
- That's what
I'm talking about.
198
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:19,466
Just makes me feel
manslaughter.
199
00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:24,071
- How to escape if
you're zip tied to a tree.
200
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,840
Both your hands and your feet.
201
00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,441
All right,
so what we're gonna do is,
202
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,710
like my other videos,
203
00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:32,245
I'm gonna drive my elbows back
204
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,047
towards the side of my ribcage.
205
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,750
- What's she talking about,
Butthead?
206
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:39,953
- This is, like,
a helpful video
207
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,355
trying to teach people
how to, uh--
208
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:46,760
how to, uh,
tie their shoes or something.
209
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:49,029
- Yeah, I should pay attention.
210
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:52,299
'Cause, like, I tied my shoes
like three years ago
211
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,034
and I just, like, put 'em on
and take 'em off,
212
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:57,070
you know, like, already tied.
213
00:08:57,137 --> 00:09:00,808
Yeah, I don't have time for
that, you know.
214
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,376
- Oh, really? So do I.
215
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:04,945
- Oh, wow, really?
216
00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:07,581
We should hang out
or something.
217
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:10,483
- So we're gonna tie
both shoelaces,
218
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,753
okay, into a knot.
See how I've done that?
219
00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:15,756
- Uh, no, I don't see.
220
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:18,325
- You know, whenever anyone
explains anything to me,
221
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,160
and they ask if I understand,
222
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:25,398
I always say yes,
but I never understand.
223
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:28,068
- Uh, really?
224
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:30,537
You've never understood
anything?
225
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,505
- Nope.
226
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,907
Never.
227
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,609
Never have, never will.
228
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,111
[both snickering]
229
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:40,180
- You know, um, you know,
people think I do
230
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,581
because, like,
when they're talking,
231
00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:43,984
you know, I just go,
"Uh-huh, yeah, mm-hmm.
232
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:47,220
Okay, seems reasonable."
233
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,122
But really I'm just trying
to make 'em stop talking,
234
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:53,260
you know, and eventually,
it always works.
235
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,862
And they have no idea
236
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:59,166
that everything just went in
one ear and out the other.
237
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,468
- I couldn't drive my legs
obviously, because my--
238
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:04,337
- You know, um, I think
understanding things is, like,
239
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:06,106
overrated, you know,
'cause, um--
240
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:07,941
'cause here I am.
241
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:10,610
I'm doing just fine, you know.
242
00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:13,513
Out here killin' it.
243
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,016
[smacks lips, sighs]
244
00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:17,785
- Stay safe.
245
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,587
- The suspect in the Highland
Maxi-Mart robbery,
246
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:23,290
Darryl Britney Williamson,
went free today
247
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:25,859
after his trial ended
in a hung jury.
248
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:30,197
The decision came as a shock--
- Whoa, "hung jury"?
249
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,132
She's talking about us, Beavis.
250
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,301
- Whoa! How'd they know?
251
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,369
I didn't pull
my schlong out once.
252
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:38,839
I mean, I don't think I did.
253
00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:41,641
Oh, wait, maybe--yeah.
254
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:44,144
- Authorities now believe
he is responsible
255
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:46,146
for a string of manslaughters
256
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,348
committed immediately
upon his release.
257
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:49,649
He remains at large.
258
00:10:49,717 --> 00:10:52,585
- We ran out of our $14
of beer, Butthead.
259
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,587
How do we get on jury duty
again?
260
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,489
- Uh...
261
00:10:56,556 --> 00:11:00,393
I think we have to, like,
rob a store or something.
262
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:03,797
- Eh, I'm kinda tired,
Butthead.
263
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:06,166
Let's do it tomorrow.
264
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:09,136
[can crunches]
- First thing tomorrow.
265
00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:11,939
- Yep.
266
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:15,008
[both snoring]
267
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:17,477
[heavy thud]
268
00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:18,678
[coughs]
269
00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:20,213
[can crunches]
270
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,057
[rock music]
271
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:33,126
* *
272
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:39,132
[both snickering]
273
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:45,138
- Remember that movie
we saw yesterday,
274
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,074
"Freaky Friday"?
275
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:48,608
- Uh, yeah.
276
00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:50,677
This chick and her mom
switched bodies
277
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:53,981
because the chick wanted
bigger thingies.
278
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,682
And then they learned a lesson.
279
00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:58,385
- So, um, how did they
change bodies though?
280
00:11:58,451 --> 00:11:59,887
[soda fizzing]
281
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:03,090
- Uh, there was like
a big flash of light
282
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,591
and then the girl
was like, "whoa"
283
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:05,893
and then the mom
was like, "whoa"
284
00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:07,494
and then they were like--
[both grunt]
285
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,831
[mystical music]
286
00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:15,668
- 'Scuse me.
287
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,704
- Whoa.
288
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,472
- What just happened?
289
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:21,942
- Uh, I don't know.
290
00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:24,477
There was like
a big flash of light
291
00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:26,780
and then I was like, "whoa."
292
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:28,748
And then you were like--
293
00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:31,118
whoa.
- Whoa.
294
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,353
Um, Butthead,
295
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,223
you're not gonna believe
what my reflection looks like.
296
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,558
- You're not gonna believe
what my reflection looks like.
297
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:41,194
- Did we just, like,
switch bodies?
298
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:44,832
- Whoa. Maybe we did.
299
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:47,935
Uh, okay, let me try something.
300
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,971
Do you think nachos taste good?
301
00:12:51,038 --> 00:12:54,641
- Yes, yes, I do.
- Whoa, that's my thing.
302
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:56,176
- Uh, let me think of one.
303
00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:58,478
Um, do you want to score
all the time?
304
00:12:58,545 --> 00:13:00,313
- I sure do.
- Whoa!
305
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,749
- Do you like cool things
and you hate stuff that sucks?
306
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:04,617
- Whoa! Amazing!
307
00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:06,419
- It has happened.
308
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:10,323
I'm Beavis and you're Butthead.
309
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,725
I'm a dumbass.
310
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:16,463
- Alonzo.
311
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:17,730
- Here.
312
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,467
- Beavis?
- Here.
313
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:21,869
- Butthead.
314
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,636
- Yeah, I'm here too.
315
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:25,205
- Boys, when I take attendance,
316
00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:28,575
I'd prefer you call
your own names, mmkay?
317
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,110
- We did, sir.
318
00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:31,411
- Yeah, see, um--
319
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:34,814
see, we like, switched
identi-stries yesterday.
320
00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:37,784
So, like, he's Beavis
and I'm Butthead.
321
00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:38,919
Right, Butthead?
322
00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:40,787
- I'm Beavis, dumbass.
323
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:42,355
- Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, right.
324
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,557
And I'm Butthead.
325
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:47,794
I'm just gonna write the first
letter of my name on my hand
326
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,729
so I don't forget.
There we go.
327
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:51,698
- Oh, yeah.
328
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:53,166
Good idea, Butthead.
329
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:54,734
You're a lot smarter than me.
330
00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:56,436
- Okay, guys,
331
00:13:56,503 --> 00:14:00,407
I understand what you must be
going through, mmkay?
332
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:04,077
Identity is a very powerful
issue for adolescents,
333
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:05,412
and I want you to know that
334
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:08,781
you have my full support on
your journey.
335
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,617
- Thank you, Mr. Van Driessen.
336
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,152
I appreciate it,
337
00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:15,355
even though I'm a total dumbass
named Beavis.
338
00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,624
- You're very welcome.
339
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,260
- Beavis--
I'm sorry, Butthead,
340
00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:22,395
do you need to go
to the bathroom?
341
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:25,966
- I do but, um--but I don't
wanna touch Beavis' wiener.
342
00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:29,436
- You better not.
Leave my wiener alone, dumbass.
343
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:32,805
- Wait a minute,
maybe it's Butthead's wiener?
344
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:33,873
Yeah, I don't know.
345
00:14:33,941 --> 00:14:35,642
I'm just gonna play it safe
346
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:36,977
and pee in your pants.
347
00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:39,179
- Don't pee in my pants,
butthole.
348
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:40,647
- Sorry, Beavis.
349
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:44,017
I don't have a lot of options,
you know what I'm saying?
350
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:46,086
It's the only thing
that makes sense.
351
00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:50,958
I'm gonna have to go ahead
and poop in your pants too.
352
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:53,860
- I'm gonna get you for this,
Butthead.
353
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:56,363
Watch this.
354
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:58,999
Uh, excuse me, everyone.
355
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:01,534
My name is Butthead
and I'm a dumbass
356
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:05,838
and please never score with me
because it'll suck.
357
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,842
Did you see what I did there?
358
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,179
I made you look ridiculous.
359
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,447
- Dammit!
I'm gonna kill you, Butthead!
360
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,716
Wait a minute.
361
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:18,685
I mean, I'm gonna kill you,
Beavis!
362
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:22,255
[both grunting]
363
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:25,858
- Mmkay, identity is very
important.
364
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,228
Dobson?
- Here.
365
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,201
- Dammit, I don't like
being you, Beavis.
366
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,369
It sucks.
- Settle down, Butthead.
367
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,105
- Ah!
368
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:41,141
Wait a minute,
you just hit yourself, Beavis.
369
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:43,676
- Uh...oh, yeah.
370
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:45,345
- Yeah, check this out.
371
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:46,980
I'm hitting you.
372
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:47,981
Ah!
373
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:49,216
Ow!
374
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,683
- Cut it out, Butthead
375
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:52,319
- You don't like this,
do you, Beavis?
376
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:55,455
Ah! Ow.
Yeah, see.
377
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:57,224
- That's it, Butthead.
378
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,758
I'm kicking your ass.
379
00:15:58,825 --> 00:16:01,128
- Cut it out, Beavis.
- [groaning]
380
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:02,495
- Son of a bitch.
381
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:06,833
[loud thudding]
Ah! Take that, butthole!
382
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:08,735
[shouts]
383
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,270
[grunting]
384
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:14,374
- Dammit, Butthead,
you brought this on yourself.
385
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:15,875
[snap]
386
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:18,511
[grunting]
Do you give up yet?
387
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,413
- Never!
[snickering]
388
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:24,351
Ugh, ow, ah!
389
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,385
What about now?
390
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,954
- No way!
391
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,789
Ugh, ugh, ow!
392
00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:32,892
- Keep going. See if I care!
393
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:35,928
- [grunting]
394
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,666
Switching bodies sucks.
- Yeah, really.
395
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:41,434
You're not the guy
who just got his balls hit
396
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:44,537
with a broomstick
like 20 times.
397
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:49,109
- * Got my driver's license
last week *
398
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:51,644
* Just like
we always talked about *
399
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,546
- You know, when I get
my driver's license,
400
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,548
I'm not gonna, like, sit in
my room
401
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,184
and play a tiny piano.
402
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,586
I'm gonna go out and tear ass
all over the place.
403
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,188
[chuckles]
404
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:03,890
Run stuff over!
405
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,992
And speed.
406
00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:09,629
[both snickering]
- Yeah.
407
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,164
- And another thing.
408
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:13,133
You know how everyone's
driver's license pictures
409
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,302
look all dorky?
410
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,370
They're all like...
[groans]
411
00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:19,038
Mine's gonna look cool.
412
00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:21,108
I'm gonna look like this.
Check it out.
413
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:27,847
- Uh, you sure are ugly,
Beavis.
414
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:31,251
Mine's gonna be cool.
I'm gonna look like this.
415
00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:33,353
Check it out.
416
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:35,288
Okay, here we go.
417
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:37,724
- * Never felt this way *
418
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:40,327
- That's not really very good,
Butthead.
419
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,162
- Beavis,
I'm gonna "not very good"
420
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:44,063
the backside of your ass.
421
00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:45,632
- You know what license
I always wondered
422
00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:48,135
how you get?
A license to kill.
423
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:51,371
You know, the 007,
like James Bond.
424
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:54,774
How do you get one of those?
425
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:57,910
- Uh, I think first
you have to get, like,
426
00:17:57,977 --> 00:18:01,114
a learner's permit to kill,
when you're 16.
427
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:02,949
- Oh, yeah.
428
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:06,186
- And then there's, like,
a written test.
429
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:07,987
- I don't do good
on written tests
430
00:18:08,054 --> 00:18:10,690
but, um, that's one thing
I might actually, like,
431
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,492
go to school for
and, like, take a test,
432
00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:14,861
you know, because, um--
433
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,863
because that would be cool,
you know.
434
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,232
'Cause then, like,
when a cop pulls you over,
435
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:21,834
and he's like, "Excuse me, sir,
the reason I pulled you over is
436
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:24,604
"you just killed somebody
back there.
437
00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:26,239
"Do you have your license
to kill on you, sir?
438
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:28,408
And your registration, please."
439
00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:31,544
- Yeah, and then
I just shoot him.
440
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,913
[chuckles]
441
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,548
- No, that won't work,
Butthead.
442
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,984
He's probably got a bullet
proof vest and he won't die
443
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:40,587
and you'll just get in
a bunch of trouble.
444
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:41,754
- You're right, Beavis.
445
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:43,690
Violence is never the answer.
446
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:45,725
Choose to diffuse.
447
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,827
- Exactly.
[both snickering]
448
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:50,297
- Peace.
[chuckles]
449
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,899
[both snickering]
450
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:57,237
- Um, hey, Beavis, there he is.
451
00:18:57,304 --> 00:19:00,573
- Okay, Butthead.
Now the only way to switch back
452
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,842
is to get that guy
to kick our ass again.
453
00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:06,646
- Um, hey, uh--
hey, how's it going?
454
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:08,515
Um, would you mind, like,
455
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,450
kicking our asses, please?
456
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:12,519
- Lucas,
do you know these kids?
457
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:14,221
- Yeah, he kicked our ass
yesterday.
458
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,823
- He, like, banged our heads
together.
459
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:19,192
[chuckling]
I said "head."
460
00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:22,161
[all laugh]
461
00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:24,597
- You said "bang" too.
462
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,533
- That's a good one.
463
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,568
Look, the old me would love to
464
00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:30,770
bash your stupid heads
together, fellas.
465
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,171
But since I met Debbie,
466
00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:34,841
I don't solve my problems
with violence no more.
467
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:36,743
- Proud of you, hon.
468
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:38,144
- She taught me to see things
469
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:40,313
from the other person's
point of view.
470
00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:43,149
That sometimes,
you just need to find a way
471
00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:46,553
to walk a mile
in the other guy's shoes,
472
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:49,589
and then you'll realize--
473
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,591
okay, she can't see us.
Here we go.
474
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:56,095
[grunting]
475
00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:58,164
Coming, honey!
476
00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:01,167
[mystical music]
477
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:04,170
* *
478
00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:09,041
- Uh, whoa.
479
00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:11,177
What happened?
480
00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:12,412
- Did we switch back?
481
00:20:12,479 --> 00:20:16,949
- Uh, check the letters
on our hands.
482
00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:18,318
- My letter got smeared
or something.
483
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:22,289
- Uh, mine too.
484
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:25,024
I guess we'll never know.
485
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:27,627
- So, um, which one am I now,
486
00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:29,195
Beavis or Butthead?
487
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:32,799
- Uh, who cares?
488
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:34,534
What difference does it make?
489
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:36,836
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
490
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,605
Did we learn a lesson?
491
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,172
- I sure hope not.
492
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:43,009
[both snickering]
493
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:48,281
[rock music]
494
00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:55,254
* *
495
00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:12,271
- Chirp.
496
00:21:12,339 --> 00:21:14,941
[resonant chord]
32407
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