Original subtitles

- ♪ MTV ♪

[both chuckling]

[rock music]

♪ ♪

- So we know that the inverse angle is

the same as the-- [drill droning]

Beavis, what are you doing?

- Uh, nothing. [drill drones]

You must have heard something else.

[drill droning]

- Beavis, put your drill away before I confiscate it, mm-kay?

- Yeah, Beavis.

Some of these dumbasses are trying to learn.

[chuckles] - Okay, yeah.

It won't happen again.

- [sighs] Okay. So the inverse--

[drill droning]

- Sorry, sorry. [chuckles]

I'm--I'm just gonna put it away.

[drill drones]

See? I can't even reach it. [drill drones]

Okay, go ahead. Yeah.

You were saying some angles or something.

[snickers]

- [sighs] So the inverse angle is the same--

[drill drones]

- Oh, sorry, sorry. I forgot.

[chuckles] It won't happen again.

- He means it this time, sir. [drill droning]

- I'm putting this in my desk, Beavis.

You can have it back at the end of the week, mm-kay?

[school bell rings]

- Um, Butt-Head, how're we gonna get

the drill back?

[chuckles] - Uh...whoa.

I got an idea, Beavis.

We can go, like, hide in that box

until school's closed,

and then we can go get the drill.

- Yeah, yeah. Good idea. Yeah.

[chuckles]

- [chuckles] [both snicker]

- This is gonna be cool.

- Scoot over. [chuckles] - We're beating the system.

- When we get the drill back,

I'm gonna, like, drill holes in stuff.

[both chuckle] - Good idea, Beavis.

[chuckles] Drill. - [chuckles]

[both snickering]

- What's going on, Butt-Head?

- Uh, I don't know. [chuckles]

[both grunting]

- Aah, aah, oh, aah. Ow, ow.

Aah, aah, aah, my eye. Ow, ow, aah, aah.

[grunts]

Glad that's over.

I think, like, a big truck went by or something.

That was really starting to piss me--

- Ow, aah, aah.

Ow, aah, aah.

[clank]

- Okay, Beavis,

it sounds like everybody's gone now.

Let's go check and see if the coast is clear.

- [grunting]

Um, Butt-Head,

I can't get out of the box. [chuckles]

- Uh, this sucks.

[chuckles]

- [whispering] Hello, everybody.

It's...Gibi.

Welcome back to my channel.

I'm gonna start with... - What is this, Butt-Head?

- A fairly simple item.

- [whispering] It's called ASMR.

- You know, this is, uh--

this is actually kind of relaxing.

- You need to speak more quietly, Beavis.

- Yeah, sorry.

[softly] This is kind of relaxing, Butt-Head.

You know what I mean?

- [chuckles] Yes, I do.

It's putting me to sleep. [chuckles]

- This is a baby pink--

- I kind of like talking like this, Butt-Head.

- I think I'm gonna talk like this for the rest of my life.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

I bet chicks like it, too.

- [chuckles] Ooh.

I didn't even think of that. [chuckles]

Hey, baby,

would you like to come back to my place?

I can talk even quieter than this.

You won't even know I'm in the room.

[chuckles]

- Oh, yeah. [chuckles]

Boing. [snickers]

- Not fully, like, color organized or anything.

- [clears throat] Butt-Head...

listen, watching this video

is kind of giving me wood. [chuckles]

- Uh, I don't need to hear about that, Beavis.

[chuckles quietly]

- Butt-Head...

I think I might have to spank my monkey.

[chuckles]

- Beavis, I am going to kick

the living bejesus out of you

if you try to spank your monkey.

- I have to, Butt-Head. [chuckles]

It's the ASMR.

I can't do anything about it.

[chuckles] - This kind of sound.

- Beavis, I don't want to hear about your boner, so shut up.

I'm trying to watch this ASMR.

Do not spank your monkey.

[soft clicking]

- Butt-Head...

I think those magic markers are giving me a boner.

- Damn it, Beavis, I'm gonna change the channel

if you don't stop talking about your boners.

- Ooh, um--

Butt-Head, that, um--

that smack kind of made my scalp tingle.

Can you smack me again like that, just really gently?

- Uh, no, Beavis.

- [normal voice] What'd you say, Butt-Head? Aah!

- [normal voice] Damn it, Beavis, you ruined everything.

- Oh, yeah, sorry.

- Uh, help? - Help!

Help! - Hey, you buttholes,

open the box.

- I think, like,

no one can hear us or something.

- Damn it, Beavis, you got us stuck in here.

- Yeah, sorry. [chuckles]

- Hang on. I need to scratch my butt.

[chuckles] Damn it. [grunts]

Ugh, ugh.

Ah, there we go.

- Wait, was that your butt or my butt?

[chuckles] - Uh...I don't know.

- I think it might have been my hand, actually.

- Beavis, you better get your hand

off whoever's butt it is.

- Sorry, Butt-Head, I can't hear you.

My butt's in your face.

It's, like, muffling the sound.

- [sighs] That does it, asswipe.

[grunting] - Ow. Cut it out, butthole.

[grunting]

- [grunts]

Beavis, I'm gonna kick your ass all over this box.

- Cut it out! Ow, ow. [grunts]

[grunting] Ow.

- [grunts] - Ow, ow.

- [sighs] [chuckles]

- You know, um, maybe we should just, like, get used

to living in this box, you know? [chuckles]

It's not that bad, really.

It's kind of growing on me, actually. [chuckles]

- Beavis, I'm gonna kill you.

- Maybe life is better in the box, you know?

Maybe we'll meet some chicks in here or something.

- There's no chicks in the box, dumbass.

- Well, not now, but, you know, like--

maybe if we were more outgoing, you know?

- My head's gonna kick your ass.

[grunts] - Ow.

Ow. Eh, my butt! Aah! Stop!

Ow.

- [grunts] - Ow!

[both groaning]

- I don't want to be in this box anymore, Butt-Head.

It sucks.

It's getting kind of hard to breathe.

- [chuckles] Hard.

- No, no, really, Butt-Head.

I think we're, like, running out of air or something.

We need to stop breathing so we don't run out.

- [gasping]

- Hey, stop. What are you doing?

- I'm gonna breathe all of it, Beavis.

[panting]

- Stop it, Butt-Head, come on.

Quit hogging the air.

- Get your own air, dumbass.

- No, I'm gonna strangle you to save air.

Damn it.

Quit moving your neck so I can strangle it.

- Damn it, Beavis, stop strangling me.

- Not till you promise to stop breathing air.

- Never. [both grunting]

- Whoa.

Butt-Head, look, we're free.

- Whoa. Good job, Beavis.

Now all we gotta do is-- [both groan]

- Beavis? - Yeah?

- You're a dumbass. [both chuckle]

- [grunts] - [grunts]

♪ ♪

Trees suck. [chuckles]

- Yeah, I don't like leaves either.

[chuckles] They suck.

[chuckles]

Yeah, look at that.

He's grabbing his schlong in Spanish.

[chuckles]

- [snickers]

Uh, these boy bands always have, like,

one really smart one,

one ugly one, and, uh, three other dudes.

[chuckling]

He's the smart one. [chuckles]

- Are these guys, like, lumberjacks or something?

[chuckles]

- We've come to chop down your trees.

And then we will make love to your women.

[chuckles]

- Yeah, first I take your wood, and then I have wood.

[snickering]

- [singing in Spanish]

- Where are they anyway? [chuckles]

- That looks like the woods back behind Pizza Hut.

- Yeah, there are a lot of mosquitos back there.

[chuckles] I was back there once,

and a mosquito bit me right on my schlong.

- What were you doing with your schlong out

behind Pizza Hut?

- That part of the story's not important, Butt-Head.

[chuckles] - Uh...yeah it is.

- You know, I was just, like,

spraying it with OFF!, you know?

Didn't work. [chuckles]

- Uh-- - Anyway, that's not important.

What's important is

my schlong itched for, like, two days.

And I tried to scratch it in class,

and everyone thought I was spanking my monkey.

[chuckles]

- Uh...but you were spanking your monkey.

- No, I was scratching a mosquito bite

on my schlong. [chuckles]

And then, you know, um, while I was in the area,

you know, one thing led to another.

You know, but, um--

but it was the mosquito's fault

that I was in that area in the first place.

Stupid bug. [both snicker]

- Uh, Beavis?

There's a mosquito on your face right now.

- Really? - Hang on, hang on, hold still.

I'll get it for you. - [groans]

- [chuckles] - So did you get it?

- Uh, wait a second. He's back.

- Damn it, Butt-Head, you gotta hit harder.

- Nope. It's still there.

[grunting]

He's a tough little fella. [grunting]

- Is it gone now? - Uh, no.

I know something that'll kill him.

[chuckles]

Uh, let's see here.

Uh, there it is. [chuckles]

This ought to work.

Now hold absolutely still, Beavis.

[chuckles] Don't move.

- Are you gonna spray that on my--

[grunting]

- [chuckles] - Damn it, Butt-Head.

- [chuckles] - Not how that works.

- Okay, class, Beavis and Butt-Head

have now been missing for a week.

If anyone has any info,

please contact the authorities, mm-kay?

On a lighter note,

we've covered an incredible amount of math

in the last week,

and we can finally start working at grade level,

which is why we've brought in these new textbooks.

Don't worry, everyone will get one.

Oh, my.

[both grunting]

- [coughing]

- [coughs]

- Whoa.

- Where are we? [chuckles] - Oh, hey.

Hey, it worked. It worked, Butt-Head.

[chuckles]

I'll just go ahead and get this from you.

[drill droning]

- [chuckles] That was cool.

- [chuckles]

[bluesy rock music]

♪ ♪

- Huh.

You know, it's good to be outside, you know?

Like, outdoors and stuff.

This is God's country. [chuckles]

- Yeah.

Let's get some bottles

and break them in the parking lot.

- Yeah, back to nature. [chuckles]

- [chuckles] Uh...

what the hell is going on here?

- What did they do to this place, Butt-Head?

What's going on? - Beavis and Butt-Head...

what a pleasant surprise to see you guys here.

- What happened to the parking lot?

What did you do?

- Well, once a month, we have a farmers' market here,

and it turns into a cornucopia

of locally sourced farm-to-table cuisine.

- Does "cornucopia" mean butthole?

- It sure does, Beavis. [both snicker]

- [sighs] What it means is we have a bountiful harvest

of produce and crafts.

- Damn it. - Uh...

well, we just came here to break stuff,

so we'll just have some of those jars.

- Oh, well, that's honey.

My lady friend Ellen is a beekeeper and makes her own.

- That'll be $50.

- Whoa, $50? - Whoa.

And you made that?

- Oh, well, the bees made it.

I just reap the benefits.

- It's great if you have allergies

or Fibromyalgia. - Beavis...

we gotta get some bees.

- Why's that? - Because, dumbass,

we're gonna get rich and make

a bunch of dumb bugs do all the work.

- Oh, yeah, yeah. [chuckles]

Yeah, work sucks.

- Let's go find a beehive, Beavis.

- Yeah. [chuckles]

I saw a beehive over here somewhere.

- Hey, boys, be careful 'round here.

There's a big old wasp nest on my property.

I'm gonna call an exterminator,

but I don't want to hear what they're gonna charge me,

I tell you what. - What's he saying?

- It's just no expense... - Uh, I don't know.

Probably just a bunch of old stuff.

[buzzing] There it is, Beavis.

When I look at that,

I see fat stacks of cash.

- Yeah, this is gonna be cool. [chuckles]

[grunting] It's too high, Butt-Head.

- Try knocking it down with this big fork thing.

[wasps buzzing]

- Okay. [chuckles]

- [groans]

Watch what you're doing, asswipe.

- Yeah, sorry. - Ow!

[buzzing intensifies]

- [grunting]

Aah! Aah! Aah!

[screaming]

- [chuckling]

That was cool.

[chuckles]

Wake up, Beavis. [chuckles]

I got the bees.

- Whoa, cool, [chuckles]

We're gonna be rich, yeah. [both chuckle]

- This is gonna be cool.

[both chuckle]

- ♪ 'Cause I'm in the stars tonight ♪

- Yes! This song kicks ass.

- Yeah. [chuckles]

Yeah, the video kicks ass, too.

- ♪ Shoes on, get up in the morn' ♪

- Uh, what?

What did you just say?

- Oh, I said-- [chuckles]

I didn't say anything.

- Uh, I thought I heard you say this kicks ass.

Did you say that, Beavis?

- No, no, I was talking about something else.

[chuckles] - Don't lie to me, Beavis.

I heard you loud and clear.

- [chuckles] No, no, I was just joking, Butt-Head.

I was just, you know-- [chuckles]

You know, saying, "Yeah, this kicks ass,"

you know, but, you know-- but it sucks, you know?

[chuckles]

I was just being, like, iconic

or, like--you know who sucks the worst?

It's J-Hope, yeah. [chuckles]

He doesn't even have the positive attitude,

you know, like Suga. [chuckles]

- You know their names? [chuckles]

What the hell has gotten into you, Beavis?

- I was kidding, Butt-Head. I don't like these guys.

I just said they suck.

You know, I just, um--

I just know their names 'cause, you know,

'cause I hate them so much, that's all.

[chuckles]

- Beavis, I'm going to leave now.

[chuckles]

I'm gonna leave you with your, uh,

seven or eight, or 15, BTS boy band dudes.

- Come on, Butt-Head.

I just wasn't paying attention or something.

Come on. [chuckles]

- ♪ Bring the fire and set the night alight ♪

- [humming]

Comin' up like rock and roll.

[humming]

- You know, Beavis,

I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

Jesus Christ, Beavis. - Come on, Butt-Head.

I was just, um-- - What the hell

is going on in here? - I was just thinking

about something else. [both chuckle]

- Beavis, I wish I had walked in here

and you were taking a dump on the couch

or doing homework.

Anything would be better than that.

- Okay, okay, I mean-- [chuckles]

- Beavis, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

[chuckles]

- I think this is my house, though.

[chuckles]

- Not anymore, Beavis. - Okay.

I'll just come back later.

- No, never come back.

[chuckling]

Bunghole. [chuckling]

♪ ♪

[muffled buzzing]

- Um, so it's been, like, two hours or something.

You think the bees are done making honey?

- Uh, I don't know. [chuckles]

[buzzing intensifies] Uh, doesn't sound like

there's honey in there.

- Stupid bugs. [chuckles]

- Beavis, we need to teach these bees a lesson.

[grunts] Make honey, you dumbass bugs.

- Yeah, really.

It's like, all you do is just sit there in that box.

Aah, you just sit there!

Aah. [glass shattering]

Maybe your mother puts up with it,

but I don't. Aah!

You're in my house now. Aah.

- [chuckles] - That means my rules.

- Settle down, Beavis. - Son of a bitch!

[grunts] - Whoa. You hear that?

That's the sound of money.

[loud buzzing] - What'd you say, Butt-Head?

- I said, "That's the sound of money"!

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, money kicks ass. Yeah. [chuckles]

- Okay, Beavis.

Now open the box and grab the honey.

- Uh, Butt-Head, I kind of don't want to

because, um, I don't want to get stung again.

It hurts.

- Don't be a wuss.

Besides, we got, like, protective gear.

- So this will, like, protect me from the bees?

- Yep. [chuckles] - Okay.

[chuckling]

- Get that honey, Beavis. - Here we go, yeah.

[chuckles]

Aah! No!

Aaaah!

- Beavis, you look silly.

- Aah! Aah, no!

Aah! Ow.

Stop, ow. Stop, stop, ow, ow.

- Whoa, look at all the honey, Beavis.

We're gonna be rich. [chuckles]

Uh, so, like, honey for sale.

- Fresh honey! It's really expensive.

- That's right. It's, like, $1,000.

- Buy it right now for money. [chuckles]

- Beavis and Butt-Head.

Boys, are you feeling okay?

- Buy our honey. Our bees made it, yeah.

Check it out. - That's right.

It's expensive.

Fresh from the bug's butt. [chuckles]

- This tastes like shampoo, mm-kay?

- What? Our bees made shampoo?

- These dumb bugs made the wrong stuff.

- Guys, these are not bees. They're wasps.

Wasps don't make honey.

- We know, dumbass. They made shampoo.

[chuckles] - Yeah, yeah.

So are you gonna buy our shampoo or not?

- [sighs] No, thank you.

I buy artisanal lavender shampoo

over at booth 12.

- These bees suck.

They made crappy shampoo nobody wants to buy.

- Since we got this free shampoo,

I'm gonna go, like, wash my hair.

[chuckles] Just open this up here...

What?

- Damn it, now those dumb bugs made fruit or something.

- Aah, damn it.

- Now, you just relax.

While you were selling your honey,

I bought everything I need to make

my special summer squash vegan bisque.

- Aw, David, that sounds so--

[wasps buzzing] [screams]

- Oh, my! Oh, no!

[both screaming]

Aaaah!

- Ow! [glass shattering]

Aah!

Oh, my God! Get off!

[bluesy rock music]

♪ ♪

- Chirp.