All language subtitles for 30.Rock.S05E17.1080p.BluRay.x264-BORDURE.SDH

- Previously on
queen of Jordan...

- Don't tell me I can't sing.

What the [bleep]
have you ever done?

Who the [bleep] are the Beatles?

[Gasps]

- I know what you said about me.

- Please. I don't
even think about you.

You're nothing.

- I know the photo shoot
for Randi's dog's funeral

is the wrong place
to tell you this,

but I'm going to Africa.

- It's my way till payday.

D'Fwan, glue in
the business weave.

I have an important
meeting with Jack Donaghy

from NBC today.

- D'Fwan forgot his catchphrase.

[Bell dings]

- Since Tracy is off
helping people in Africa,

I finally have a
chance to focus on me.

That is why I'm launching
my music career.

It has been my
dream to be a singer

ever since I was a little...

Drunk the other day and
rented out a recording space.

- Oh, Angie, thank
you for coming in.

NBC could not be happier...

About queen of Jordan.

For the first time
in six months,

we beat all the
music choice channels

except, of course, Latin beats.

- Well, Angie's thinking
of the next move now.

As you know, my single
"my single is dropping"

is dropping.
- What's happening?

- My single is called
"my single is dropping"

and it's dropping.

- Angie, "my single is dropping"

is the reason I wanted

the three of us to meet.

With Tracy gone,
TGS will be airing

another "best of" special.

- Actually, legal says we
can't use the word "best."

- Either way,
the studio is free,

so I thought we would have
your release party there.

You would perform and Lemon here

will help you put it together.

- What? No. I
thought we were here

to talk about getting
Tracy back from Africa.

- Look, I love Tracy.
But he is work.

- Angie, look what
the banister did to me!

- Do know how much
of my time he wastes?

- Let's role play.
- Tracy, we're gonna be late!

[Door closes]
- Our boat exploded.

- With Tracy away, it's
time to let Angie be the star.

I hope Tracy doesn't
come home for months.

- Months? No. We can't
make it that long without Tracy.

You can't do this.
- Are you giving me orders?

Am I the waiter?

Is this the restaurant
that I'm opening up

with Dennis rodman and Webster?

- No. I just thought you
would be on my side.

"Yes, we can."
Obama '08, remember?

- Look, this is
a very complic...

Oh!
- Oh!

- As an executive of
Kabletown and NBC universal

I am ordering you
not to use that footage.

John Francis Donaghy.
Verbal signature.

- Angie's single release
party is tomorrow night.

It seems like the perfect
place for me to reveal

my shocking, secret past.

- No, we're not writing
a tearful admission

about you being a
call girl in Delaware.

Write it yourself.

- For your information,

I am a Christian illiterate,
so that's not an option.

- You know what,
I'm not getting sucked

into your crazy
reality show nonsense.

- Liz, I'm so mad at
you for that thing you did.

Am I trying to instigate fights

by throwing wine at
people just to get on camera

and maybe also promote
my new lifestyle web site:

Jennas-side.com?

Of course not.

I mean, is wine throwing
something that even gets you

on a reality show?

- God, Jenna, I told you
not to buy that domain name.

Say it out loud.
- Jennas-side. Genocide.

I'm not hearing it, Liz.

- Hey, guess who's
getting out of jail.

- I don't know. But I hope
they didn't collect $200.

- Lynn Onkman. Remember her?

- Oh, sure, that hot
teacher from queens

who had an affair
with her student.

- Oh, my god.
Check out this picture.

Frank, is that you?

- You never said you were
in Lynn Onkman's class.

- Sure, I did. What?

- Do you know the kid
she had an affair with?

- No. Yes. I don't
know. Shut up.

- It was you.
- I don't want to talk about it.

- Well done, sir.

- Guys, a teacher preying
on a student is wrong...

- Yeah.

- If the teacher is male
and the student is female.

What happened to
Frank is awesome.

Standing ovation.
- You don't understand!

It was love! We were in love!

- I need to look
good for my party.

And I refuse to wear
anything in my size

or appropriate for my age.

- Lemon, a word.

- Ham.

- Wow. If only Tracy were here,

he'd be, like, "damn, woman,

I want to make
love to your neck."

- Don't do impressions
of other races.

- Roger that, Angie.

- I'm in charge of setting
up for Angie's party.

'Cause I'm not just
a gay hairdresser.

I'm also a homosexual
party planner.

- Mr. D'Fwan, party
city does not sell

giant see-through clocks
or strap-on Pegasus wings,

so I got this paper
pineapple instead.

- Hey, girlfriends.

Why don't we all
have some drinks

and talk about how I
think Portia has no class.

- Yeah, you heard me, Portia.
- Uh-uh.

I will not be in the same
room as that woman.

- Is this about what
happened in Atlantic city?

I didn't say it.
- You did.

- I didn't say it.
- You did.

- I didn't say it!
- You did!

- I didn't say it.
- You did.

- Excuse me. I'm looking
for Francis Rossitano.

- Oh, snap. That's Lynn Onkman.

Portia reads the papers.

- Mrs. Onkman?
- Frank R?

- Yeah.

- Michael. Are you back on meth?

- Mm-hmm. No. Why? You got some?

- Think fast.
[Laughs]

Nice catch, Dotcom.

- I'm sick of being
disrespected by that man.

Sick of it.

- Yeah. I was an
athlete. Very graceful.

Sports stories? I got some.

- Uh, I'm meeting my
friend Greg for lunch.

- Again?

- When I was at Princeton,

I played baseball and football.

And back then, football
players went both ways.

- Really? So you went both ways?

- Yeah. We all
did. It was the '70s.

- So when you played baseball,
were you ever on the DL?

- Yeah. I was on the DL
most of my junior year.

- Mm. DL can
mean "disabled list."

But it can also mean
"down low" or "secretly gay."

Which one was
Jack talking about?

- When we were on the DL,

we spent most of our
time in the whirlpool

getting rubbed down.

- You were a switch-hitter?

- Switch-hitter.
Pitcher. Catcher.

Whatever the boys needed.

I think I made my point.

- I drank all the throwing wine

and I have something
to say to Portia.

I know what you said about me.

- Good. Because I'm
concerned about you.

Even though we just met, I
can tell you're an alcoholic.

- Come on, Portia.
I want to fight.

- I have battled my own
demons and you need help.

- No. I don't need any help.

I am in denial about my disease.

And I don't know what
would change that.

Drunk actor brainstorm.

I'm going to make Pete
host an intervention for me.

It'll be all about
Jenna. Drama. Crying.

The beauty of redemption.
Perhaps a song.

This is the best day of my life.

[Knocking at door]
- I'm sorry.

You want me to perform in this?

- Yeah. You're Amy Grant
from the "baby baby" video.

The one where the man
likes her at the carnival.

- That's some white nonsense.

- Too bad Tracy's not
here to take your side.

He'd be, like, "damn
you, Liz Lemon."

- We discussed this, Elizabeth.

- Yes. Uh, anyway,
I've got the auditions

for your backup dancers.

- Good. 'Cause I'm looking
for dancers who can dance

for 15 seconds 'cause
that's how long my song is.

What? That's my wedding video.

- Oh, no. I must've
mixed up the DVD discs.

Agh! Well, we'll just
have to watch it anyway

and see what feelings arise.
- Angie, just start!

[Police siren blares]

- Are you wearing
handcuffs, Tracy?

- Can my friend cheese come
with us on our honeymoon?

- What?

- Okay, I should've
watched that first.

- Do you see how
exhausting that man can be?

- Yes. He has his flaws.

But I know you
two love each other.

- Yeah. And with him gone,

our relationship has
never been better.

So he can stay in Africa
for as long as he wants.

I'm on Angie time now.

- Frank and Lynn's
story really moved me.

So I let them have
their reunion date

at the stripaerobics studio I
bought with the money I got

after that cop shot me.

- What else did
you miss in prison?

Oh, they kept remaking the hulk

and it kept getting worse.

- [Laughs] Could we
talk about something

other than comic book movies?

- Sure. Yeah, uh...

- I thought about you
a lot while I was away.

And I still remember
the... the moment

when we fell in love.

- You were administering
a scoliosis test to the class

and you lingered on my spine.

- Frank, why did
you bring me here?

And who's that woman?

- A friend. Continue.

- I'm sorry, but I couldn't
bring you to my place.

My mom's there and she
still wants you to rot in hell.

- You live with your mother?

- Yeah. Otherwise who
would wake me up for work?

What's wrong?
- [Sighs] Oh, Frank.

The boy I fell in love with

was the most
amazing eighth-grader

that I've ever met.

And I couldn't wait
to meet the man

that that boy became,
but you haven't grown.

You're still talking
about superheroes

and video games
and why Seth Logan

shouldn't have played
the green something.

- Hornet. Yeah. And it's Rogen.

- It's like you're stuck.

- Oh. I wonder why I'm stuck.

What could've happened
to me when I was 14

to make me never
want to grow up?

- Inside voice, Frank.

And I refuse to take
the blame for that.

I lost everything
to be with you.

- Well, this is who I am.

If you don't like it
then what's the point?

Now may I be dismissed? Okay.

- I thought this was a
meeting to discuss your spinoff

where you do matchmaking
for wealthy dogs.

- I lied.

D'Fwan thinks that maybe
you're not being true to your you.

I know what it's
like to live a lie.

I used to be in the military.

But I was unfairly thrown
out because I went berserk

around all those dudes
and tried to bang everybody.

- It has come to my attention

that some of what
I said yesterday

may have been misconstrued.

"Going both ways" in football

means playing
offense and defense.

And there is nothing gay
about the Princeton fight song.

♪ Oh, the merry men of
Princeton are charging up the rear ♪

♪ holding all the balls... ♪
Okay, I hear it now.

Regardless, I'm
not gay or clumsy.

So your little show has nothing
with which to embarrass me.

[Chair squeaks]
That was the chair.

Here. I'll show you.

[Silence]

It was the chair.

- What is this?

- Jenna, everyone here
loves you very much.

But because of your drinking,
we feel like we're losing you.

- Is this an intervention?

- We all agree
it's gone too far.

Kenneth. Richard
Esposito. Your two psychics.

- Wait. You're seeing
another psychic?

I mean, I knew that.
- No! I am not doing this!

I'm leaving! Read your letters.

- Jenna, everyone
has written you letters

that they'd like to share.

- "Miss Maroney, your addiction
has negatively affected me

"in the following ways.

"Number one, I was so worried,

I forgot to write the
rest of this letter."

Thank you.

- I mean...
[Cries]

- Webster, we need to
talk. Your check didn't clear.

- [Bleep], [bleep],
[bleep], [Bleep], [bleep].

- 'Scuse me. Is
that my computer?

- No, I was just... No,
pinwheel. Not now.

- Are you on my email? Are
you emailing my husband?

- I can explain.

I'm asleep right now and I
think that that's my computer.

Gah. Huh? Whuh? Where am I?

- "Tracy, as your wife, I'm
ordering you to come home."

- I know this looks bad.
- "The kids need you.

And I want to give you
all the sex things you like."

- You don't have
to read any more.

- "For instance,
doing it across the bed

instead of up and down."

- Saw that in a movie.
- "Come home now."

Sho 'nuff, Angie." Sho 'nuff?

- It's a first draft.

- Are you trying to trick
Tracy into coming home?

Were you trying to trick
me with my wedding video?

Listen, you're not
in charge. I am.

Mind your own business.
- Yeah, well, Tracy is my... ow.

- There's more
where this came from.

I'm contractually obligated
to pull out some bitch's weave

eight more times this season.

- It's not a weave. Gah.

- ♪ It's the beauty
of redemption ♪

- Jenna, will you
accept the help

we're offering you today?

- Of course.

Today is the first day
of the rest of my life.

- Jenna, this is Charles. He
has his Van waiting outside.

- How nice.

- He's gonna take
you to the airport

and then fly with you

to the alternatives treatment
center in Minnesota.

- Well, of course, 'cause
that's how interventions end.

And I can't back out now

otherwise they
can't use any of this.

Oh, god.

- Anyway, that's why I did it.

One: To see the
fear in her eyes.

And two: Without Tracy or Jenna,

we can file a claim against
the show's insurance

and keep getting
paid without working.

So this is kind of the
best day of my life.

- After my second husband
shot me the second time,

I realized that love is
the most important thing

in the world.

I just hope Frank
does the right thing.

- [Gasps] Oh, Frank.

How did you know where I work?

- It's one of the
benefits of being in love

with a registered sex offender.

- Frank, about what happened
at Randi's strippercise studio...

- no. You were right. I
have been afraid to grow up.

- Well, what are you doing?

- I'm throwing out my kid stuff.

I want to become the
man you waited for.

The man you helped cheat

on the presidential
physical fitness test.

- Well, if you didn't get
better at the shuttle run,

they were gonna put
you in the hospital.

Oh, no. That's your
favorite. You can't.

- Skeletor's not my
favorite. You are.

- Are you throwing
toys in the fryer?

You're fired, Onkman.

Now give me a waiver to sign.

The world has to be educated
about blurry face syndrome.

- Angie's changed her hairstyle
since this last photo was taken

and D'Fwan is a
queer-fectionist.

- Wow. She gets a whole window?

Wait. What used to be there?

- Oh, Angie, a queen
of Jordan indeed.

Muah.
- Nnn.

Jack, I also suffer from
irritable bowel syndrome.

- It was the chair. Oh.

- I hope you're not this
clumsy on the dance floor.

- I am not clumsy.
- You know why you're so tense?

It's 'cause you have a
secret locked up inside you.

A man-sex secret.

- You know what, I give up.

If this idiotic show
insists on portraying me

as some clumsy,
gay flatulent, so be it.

I am extremely secure
in my athleticism,

my masculinity, and
my rectal integrity.

- Mm-hmm.
- "Mm-hmm," indeed, D'Fwan.

I know who I am.

So if you want to dance,
it would be my pleasure.

- Yeah, he's straight.
That boy cannot dance.

- I know what D'Fwan
said about me and it is on.

I'm a superb dancer.

At Princeton, I played Maria
in an all-male production

of West Side story

oh, forget it. You people should
be ashamed of yourselves.

- Ah.

- Jenna, what are
you doing here?

You're supposed
to be on a plane.

- I explained to Charles
that I was just pretending

to be an alcoholic
to get on camera.

And we laughed.

And he said I can
drink as much as I want.

So cheers to good friends.

- You... you're insane!

In the lobby, she pulled
a wrench out of her purse,

hit me over the head.

- I will never go to Minnesota.

- "My single is dropping"

is not just about
a single dropping.

It's about a woman
learning to fly.

A woman who doesn't
need a man or anybody

except Josh at Sidney
Bernstein management,

Sidney at Josh
Bernstein accounting.

- Shut up, Angie. Just shut up!

I'm sick of your selfishness.
People's jobs are at sake.

- I'm selfish? You are a joke.

And everybody thinks so.

- Let me talk. I am talking.

Will you let me talk?
Can I talk for once?

You need to call Tracy right now

because I know
that he is your man,

but he is my man too.

And TGS is my family.

And my family is
thick as thieves.

Now who here wants
to teach me how to fight?

- [Cries]

- Attention everyone.

I found a glove in the elevator.

If anyone is missing a glove,
I may have found your glove.

- Angie, I'm so sorry. I
didn't mean to make you cry.

- No. It's not you,
Liz Lemon. It's them.

I miss my weird love,
but he won't come back.

- What?

- I've been trying to
get Tracy to come back

ever since he
left, but he won't.

So I sit and act like
this is what I want.

But what I really want is
for everything to go back

to the way it used to be.

I just want to wake
up in the morning

and look over at
my husband asleep...

On our neighbor's roof.

- But if you can't get him
to come back, who can?

What if he never comes back?

What is going to
happen to all of us?

- Wait. You know
what, this is my glove.

If anyone sees another glove,
I've lost one of my gloves.

Thank you.

- Next week on
queen of Jordan...

- I challenge you to a
[bleep] dance contest.

Whoo!

- You'll never get me, Charles.

- Why are you mad at me?
- Because of what you said.

- I never said it.

- It was the chair
because I only pass gas

once a year for an hour atop
a mountain in Switzerland.

Oh, god.

- Oh, brother.