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1
00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:04,253
- Lemon.
2
00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:05,699
- I just got my
bridesmaid's dress
3
00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:06,340
for Cerie's wedding.
4
00:00:06,632 --> 00:00:09,760
It is a Vietnamese size two.
5
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:11,637
- Dressing up isn't
any easier for men.
6
00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:13,656
Do you know what it's like
when a younger man shows up
7
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,057
wearing the same cufflinks?
8
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:16,451
You might as well be invisible.
9
00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:18,315
- Yeah, well, I'm not
gonna let this dress win.
10
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,479
I have a plan. This
morning, I joined...
11
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:21,771
- A suicide cult!
- A gym.
12
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,023
What do you want, Jack?
13
00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:24,834
- I just received a
call from Don Geiss'
14
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:25,943
estate lawyer.
15
00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:28,403
Apparently, I've
been named in his will.
16
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,031
- I know this is a
difficult time for you,
17
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:32,324
but word of advice:
18
00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:34,260
If the will says that you
have to spend the night
19
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:35,345
in a haunted house,
you better hope
20
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,329
that everybody else there
is black guys and sluts.
21
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,378
- I just want something
to remember the man by.
22
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:41,333
- Okay.
- His pen or his tie clip.
23
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,585
Maybe that boyhood
sled he held so dear.
24
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,504
I believed he called it...
25
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,256
Sleddy.
26
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,628
Something which I, in turn,
27
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,677
can then pass on
to my... Protege.
28
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,449
- [Gasps] Any chance
it's one of those
29
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,138
bendy hospital beds?
30
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,224
- Maybe. He did have three.
31
00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:58,516
- [Gasps]
32
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,812
[Crying] He was
such an amazing man.
33
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:07,150
[Exciting jazz music]
34
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:15,284
♪ ♪
35
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,751
- Before we rehearse,
36
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:27,462
I have an announcement to make.
37
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:31,049
Our boy Grizz is getting
married on may 22nd.
38
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:32,341
[Applause]
39
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:35,262
- Jeez, another wedding.
40
00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:36,972
- Life is like TV.
41
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,075
Testing tells us that
people like weddings, births,
42
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,018
and episodes where
a character dies.
43
00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:42,019
- That's dumb.
44
00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:44,187
- My heart!
45
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,399
- So I thought Grizz
might want to take this time
46
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,650
to announce who's
gonna be his best man.
47
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,153
- Um... I haven't decided yet.
48
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,530
- "Um, I haven't decided yet."
49
00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:54,489
You sound like my mother
50
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,867
talking to the planned
parenthood lady.
51
00:01:57,159 --> 00:02:00,579
Seriously, which one of
your rich and famous friends
52
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:03,290
with hepatitis b are
you going to pick?
53
00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,292
- Let's not do this
in front of everybody.
54
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:07,224
- Let's not do this in
front of everybody?
55
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,254
You sound like my mother
being pulled onstage
56
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,423
at a 2 live crew concert.
57
00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:13,550
Damn.
58
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:15,969
My mother had problems.
59
00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:17,864
- Oh, brother, we
have to tell Jenna
60
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,473
we can't do her
Kardashian sketch
61
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:22,476
because Jack is
"bros" with Lamar odom.
62
00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:23,870
[Whispering] You
are such a coward!
63
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:26,563
- [Whispering] You think
I care what you think?
64
00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:27,397
- Hey, Jenna!
65
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:31,318
So look, we can't do
the Kardashian sketch.
66
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,570
- Okay, I understand.
67
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:35,405
Pete, there you are you.
68
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,217
I heard one of your
kids broke his arm.
69
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:38,742
- Oh, uh, yeah.
70
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:40,661
The shed I built
collapsed on him.
71
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,055
- Well, is he gonna be okay?
72
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:42,537
- What's going on?
73
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,498
Why are you being
so happy and nice?
74
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:46,510
Are you soaking your
tampons in vodka again?
75
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,460
- No, it's just...
76
00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:50,295
Well, I met a guy, okay?
77
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,922
It's just been a few weeks.
78
00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:53,650
We're not putting
labels on anything yet
79
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:54,966
because the glue is abrasive.
80
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,761
But I'm really happy.
81
00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:00,639
- Is there any chance
82
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:01,556
this might make
our lives easier?
83
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,558
- No way. I have
seen this 100 times.
84
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,352
She gets psyched about some guy,
85
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:06,871
he reveals himself to be crazy,
86
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:07,914
then there's a terrible breakup,
87
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:08,522
and we suffer.
88
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,899
Remember when
she dated that sniper?
89
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,610
- And so it's over.
90
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,421
- Jenna, there's a laser
sight on your forehead.
91
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:16,765
- Oh, please.
He's not gonna fire.
92
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,703
For god's sakes, he's
scared of his own mother!
93
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:19,491
Aren't cha, Alan?
94
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:20,783
- Aah!
95
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,369
Whoever this new guy is,
96
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:23,370
we need to figure out his deal
97
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,664
before she gets burned
and takes it out on us.
98
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:26,540
- Tell me about it.
99
00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:29,376
Remember this breakup,
when she bit me?
100
00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:30,895
- Pete, that was,
like, two years ago.
101
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,130
- It just won't heal.
102
00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:35,716
- That concludes Mr. Geiss'
financial disbursements.
103
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:38,301
I believe all have
been accounted for.
104
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,178
His daughter. His lovely wife.
105
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,180
His even lovelier mistress.
106
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:43,552
The secret Canadian family.
107
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,852
And his even more
secret attic family.
108
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:49,604
All that remains are
a few personal items.
109
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:50,564
"To my daughter Cathy,
110
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,607
"I bequeath my pocket watch.
111
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:56,653
"It comes with very
specific instructions for care,
112
00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:57,487
"the most important of which
113
00:03:57,779 --> 00:04:00,282
is to not let the
piece get wet."
114
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,497
"To my protege and friend,
John Francis Donaghy,
115
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:08,498
"I leave a gift
116
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:11,376
"from the gardens of
my estate in Connecticut.
117
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,504
My beloved pet peacock, argus."
118
00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:19,634
- [Laughing]
119
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,763
Hello, old friend.
120
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:27,515
- Ugh! Vietnamese size two.
121
00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:28,852
[Knock on door]
122
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:30,621
- Beth, I hope it
wasn't awkward for you
123
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:31,938
when Tracy brought
up my wedding.
124
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:32,939
- Why would it be awkward?
125
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:35,150
- Because of our sexual past.
126
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:36,443
- [Grunts]
127
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,361
- Leave it open. I'd feel safer.
128
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,238
- How could I help you, Grizz?
129
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,115
- Well, Tracy keeps pushing...
130
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,407
- To be your best man.
131
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,450
Yeah, I noticed that.
132
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:45,118
- But I wanna pick Dotcom and...
133
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:48,455
- And you're afraid
that Tracy will freak out.
134
00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:51,208
So you want me to help you
convince him to step aside.
135
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,043
- You know my
every thought, Beth.
136
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:57,422
We really were the Sam
and Diane of this place.
137
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,383
- [Softly] No.
138
00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,219
- [Giggling]
139
00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:03,553
Liz, Pete,
140
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:04,930
I want you to meet someone.
141
00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:06,264
This is my boyfriend Paul.
142
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,058
- Pete Hornberger.
- Hey.
143
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,185
- But you can call me Dallas.
144
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:12,413
[Whispering] This could be
the start of something for me.
145
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:13,688
- It's really nice to meet you,
146
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,440
and I'm a big fan of the show.
147
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,275
- Yeah, so, Paul,
what's your deal?
148
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:20,195
How did you guys meet?
149
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,487
- Through a mutual fund.
150
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:22,155
- Friend, Jenna.
151
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:24,199
- Oh, of course.
Through a friend fund.
152
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,200
- Noted.
153
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,203
And what do you
do for a living, Paul?
154
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,413
- Oh, I work for a bank.
155
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:32,332
- Rupt circus.
156
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:35,168
He works for a bankrupt circus.
157
00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:43,093
- Okay, he's hiding something.
158
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,011
- I'm guessing...
159
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,638
Already-married cat strangler.
160
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,473
- Hmm.
161
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,100
Hey, could I just get a signa...
162
00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,060
Agh! Living dinosaur!
163
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,562
- Lemon.
164
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,063
This is argus.
165
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,415
He was a gift from Don Geiss.
166
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:58,024
Don's last gift, to be exact.
167
00:05:58,316 --> 00:05:59,676
- Why did Don Geiss
have a peacock?
168
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,111
Is that an NBC thing?
169
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:04,239
- No, Don owned argus
long before he bought NBC.
170
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:07,409
Peacocks can
live up to 40 years,
171
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:10,287
longer if they're not part
of Mike Tyson's home zoo.
172
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:11,288
- Ohh, what a weird gift.
173
00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:12,580
- Not at all.
174
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,958
When Don was first
taking me under his wing,
175
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,043
he and I would
sit on the veranda
176
00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:18,396
of his home in Connecticut,
177
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,297
talking about
business, politics,
178
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:22,509
how to avoid getting paper
cuts while making love
179
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,050
on a pile of money.
180
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,702
And our friend argus would
strut proudly through the garden.
181
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:29,931
We three peacocks felt
like we owned the world.
182
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:30,765
- Well, that's a...
183
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,809
[gasps] How did he
get up here so quick?
184
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,270
- You know, I never told
anybody this before, Lemon,
185
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,397
but Don and I had
nicknames for each other.
186
00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:39,691
- Like we might someday, j-town?
187
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,611
- We called each other
Sempai and Kohai.
188
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,112
Master and pupil.
189
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,239
Terms we learned
on a trip to Japan
190
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,342
because they played the
movie rising sun on the airplane.
191
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,702
Don was my Sempai.
192
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:53,288
Now this bird is...
All that remains.
193
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,249
- Jack, I'm really
sorry for your...
194
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:57,541
[peacock screeches]
195
00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:58,209
- [Spits]
196
00:06:58,501 --> 00:06:59,604
Oh, his feather
went in my mouth.
197
00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:01,504
Ew, it's so oily.
198
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:02,796
- Lemon, he's marked you.
199
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,342
He thinks you're his wife.
200
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,261
Go! Get out.
201
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:11,306
[Peacock screeching]
- Yah!
202
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,225
Hey, Tracy.
203
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:15,717
Grizz and I were just talking.
204
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,604
- Of course. You
guys are very close.
205
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:18,480
Continue.
206
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,316
- And we had an amazing idea.
207
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,088
We thought that
maybe, at the wedding,
208
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,862
you could be the lead
singer of the band.
209
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:28,490
- Really? I'd be
awesome at that.
210
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,075
- You would.
211
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:31,844
Now, of course you
couldn't sing and...
212
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,244
- but who's gonna tell you two?
213
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:34,788
- The wedding band is U2?
214
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,748
- No! You two idiots!
215
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,667
I see what you're trying to do.
216
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,460
You're trying to manipulate me
217
00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:42,212
into not being the best man.
218
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:43,797
And, damn it, Grizz,
219
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,174
I've known you since
you was six feet tall!
220
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,593
I'm gonna be your best man!
221
00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:50,470
I am the leader
of this entourage!
222
00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:54,182
[Bawling] And because of
you, I'm having a tantrum!
223
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:58,144
Now pick up that table
and smash it for me!
224
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:01,397
[Glass breaks]
225
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:02,523
That's right!
226
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,734
I know that.
227
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,026
- Hey, Jenna...
228
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:06,820
What are you doing?
229
00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:09,948
- I'm just feeling the weight
230
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:13,785
of Jenna's jewelry
on my finger pads.
231
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:17,454
- [Sighs]
232
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,416
[Whispering] Pete!
233
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:20,959
Pete!
234
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,961
Ugh. Dallas.
- What's up?
235
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:25,922
- Paul is getting weirder.
236
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,176
We've got to step it up.
237
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,470
- You know what we should
do, we should follow him.
238
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:33,781
I don't care how long it takes.
239
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:34,805
- What's going on?
240
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:35,992
Your kids have a play tonight?
241
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,308
- Oklahoma.
242
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,703
They couldn't find
cowboy hats big enough
243
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:39,436
for my kid's head,
244
00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:40,871
so they're just wearing turbans.
245
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,605
- It's on. When Paul
leaves, we follow him,
246
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:43,982
CIA style.
247
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,775
And afterwards, I go to the gym.
248
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,652
[Laughter]
249
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:52,073
- Words are the first
step on the road to deeds!
250
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:55,534
[Knock on door]
251
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:57,162
- You wanted to see me, sir?
252
00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:59,456
Oh, my, what a
gorgeous swamp eagle.
253
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,082
- This is argus.
254
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:04,627
He is very special to me.
255
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,463
- Is he okay?
- I don't know.
256
00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:08,339
He's become listless.
257
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:09,215
And he won't eat any
of the peacock food
258
00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:11,551
I got at the crazy
rich person's pet store.
259
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,123
Frankly, I don't
know what to do.
260
00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:14,846
- [Inhales deeply]
261
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,015
He's recently taken a mate.
262
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,558
- Lemon.
263
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,310
- Good luck, argus.
264
00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:22,437
[Chuckles]
265
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,231
Well, sir, there's nothing
wrong with this bird.
266
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,567
He's just very old.
267
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:29,659
Argus probably doesn't
have very long to live.
268
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,113
- All of your page
duties stop right now.
269
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,205
The welfare of this bird
is your only concern.
270
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,409
He lives... Or you die.
271
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,996
- I was about to
suggest the same thing.
272
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:45,960
- Hey, dummy,
273
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,504
what are you doing to Grizz?
274
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:48,939
- Whoa, you watch your mouth,
275
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:51,633
before I show you
the back of my hand.
276
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:54,344
- [Sighs]
277
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:56,971
Look, you gotta grow up
about this best man thing.
278
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,140
- Liz Lemon, I don't
even want to be best man.
279
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,432
Why would I?
280
00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:02,477
Show up one
time, not lose a ring,
281
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,646
keep my shirt on
through a dinner? Psh.
282
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,815
- Then why are you
throwing a fit about it?
283
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,651
- Because I'm trying to
protect Dotcom, dummy.
284
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,028
He's in love with
Grizz's fiancee...
285
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:12,862
Feyonce!
286
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,322
- Oh, your stutter is back.
287
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,700
- No, Grizz's fiancee's
name is Feyonce.
288
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:19,119
Like Beyonce with an "f."
289
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:20,537
- Ah, come on.
- Listen...
290
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:22,163
We cannot make Dotcom
291
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,295
get up there and give a
speech at that wedding.
292
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:25,500
It'd kill him!
293
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,392
- Wow, I can't believe
that you are using
294
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,130
your infantile
selfishness for good.
295
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:31,673
I'm impressed, Tracy.
296
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,383
- You think that's impressive,
297
00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:35,260
watch me stand on one foot.
298
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,720
[Grunting]
299
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:39,430
Hang on. I did it earlier.
300
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:40,722
- You're right, Tracy.
301
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,767
You've got to convince
Grizz to choose you.
302
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,060
- No, you do.
303
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,062
- Why do I have
to do everything?
304
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:47,897
Oh! I am never
gonna fit in that dress.
305
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:51,943
- Bored!
306
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,444
- What? Ohh.
307
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,705
- That's a bar.
308
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:07,542
We're gonna have
to drink a lot to fit in.
309
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:11,629
- I don't understand
where he went.
310
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,298
- Can I get five
more beers here?
311
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,590
Name's Dallas.
312
00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:15,466
- [Sighs]
313
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:17,010
I don't get it. Did we lose him?
314
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:19,137
What if he's in a secret
back room doing pot?
315
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:21,389
- Ladies and gentlemen,
put your hands together
316
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,267
for miss Jinah Baloney!
317
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,019
[Applause]
- What did he say?
318
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:27,353
- Is that Jenna?
319
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,689
[Pumping music]
320
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,691
- No, it's Paul.
321
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,485
- ♪ My muffin top is all that ♪
322
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:36,321
♪ whole grain, low fat ♪
323
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,156
♪ I know you want
a piece of that ♪
324
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:39,991
♪ but I just want to dance ♪
325
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:42,285
I'm Jenna. Naturally.
326
00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:46,206
- Jenna's boyfriend is a
Jenna Maroney impersonator.
327
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:47,497
♪ ♪
328
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:48,707
- Work it, miss Thang.
329
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:49,833
- Oh, god.
330
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:55,131
I'm gonna need five more
cranberry juices over here!
331
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,262
- Jack, I just found
out that Jenna
332
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:05,099
is dating a guy who does
a drag show... As her.
333
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,976
- Lemon, what is
with this food layout?
334
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:09,312
Kenneth says he
needs some sumac bark
335
00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:09,979
and shrub yellow root
336
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:11,481
to make a poultice for argus.
337
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,441
- How is your thing
weirder than mine?
338
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,235
- I...
339
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:16,962
[Lowers voice] I am
not letting that bird die.
340
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:18,154
And why does he have to?
341
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,198
For god's sakes, if
we can put an ear
342
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:21,532
on a mouse's back,
343
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,424
we can certainly make
a peacock immortal.
344
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,411
- Oh, Jack, I know
this is important to you,
345
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,705
but it is just a bird.
346
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,375
I mean, do you think maybe
you're so worked up about argus
347
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,211
because you never let
yourself grieve for Don?
348
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:34,712
- I did grieve for Don.
349
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,339
As soon as Jack Welch told me,
350
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,383
I went through all
five stages of grief.
351
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:40,426
- Don is dead.
- [Gasps]
352
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:41,427
What?
353
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,554
- You didn't do anything.
354
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,286
- Let me retell
it... In slow motion.
355
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,016
- Don is dead.
356
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:50,019
[Ominous choral music]
357
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:58,194
♪ ♪
358
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,952
- See?
- [Sighs]
359
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:07,638
- Sir, I just wanted
to let you know,
360
00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:08,662
argus is sleeping.
361
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:11,040
- And you left him alone?
362
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:12,601
What if he rolls
over on his back
363
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,378
and his cloaca
fills with mucous?
364
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,547
- Oh, brother. This is
not about some peacock.
365
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:19,319
We're gonna have
to help him, Kenneth.
366
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,859
I have an idea, but you're
gonna have to take the lead,
367
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,243
because I am
stretched pretty thin.
368
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:24,053
- Well, not New
York thin, but...
369
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:27,098
Don't worry, I'm
on it, Ms. Lemon.
370
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,142
Sorry... Mrs. Argus.
371
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,060
- Okay.
372
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,563
- Beth, I need you to
do something for me.
373
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:34,564
- Yeah, actually, I
need to talk to you
374
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:35,231
about the wedding.
375
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,275
- I'm too upset to talk.
376
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:38,567
Look at me.
377
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,573
- What's this?
378
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:46,326
Grizz has asked me to
read this to both of you.
379
00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,328
"Dear friends,
380
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:51,164
"I don't want any more
fighting or bad feelings.
381
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,624
"Tracy, I love you,
but I've known Dotcom
382
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,461
"ever since we went
to above the beanstalk,
383
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,629
"a free summer camp for giants.
384
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,090
"I want him to be my best man.
385
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:02,425
"And if you care about me,
386
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:03,926
"you'll respect my decision.
387
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:05,345
I will always be your"...
388
00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:08,389
Oh, no, I'm white. I
can't read that word.
389
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,141
"Friend from the neighborhood.
390
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,560
Grizz."
391
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:15,480
- I'm so honored.
392
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,065
Now no one is getting hurt.
393
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,066
No one at all.
394
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:19,358
- Thanks, guys.
395
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,611
I'm so happy.
396
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,204
- Hey! Jenna!
397
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,623
So nice to meet Paul!
398
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:35,124
Interesting guy.
399
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,518
How much do you know about him?
400
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,461
- Well, I lost a
toe ring in him,
401
00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:39,962
so I'd say a lot.
402
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:42,590
- No, I mean, like,
what he does...
403
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,162
At night, and what
he wears there
404
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:44,884
and who he's being.
405
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:48,304
- So... you know
about Paul's act.
406
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,139
- Wait, you know
about Paul's act?
407
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:51,516
- How do you think we met?
408
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:54,018
Paul won a Jenna Maroney
impersonator contest,
409
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,145
at which I came in fourth.
410
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:57,980
- And now you're dating him?
411
00:14:58,272 --> 00:14:58,981
- That's it, right there.
412
00:14:59,273 --> 00:14:59,982
That face.
413
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,984
That is exactly why
414
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,462
I didn't tell you about
Paul in the first place.
415
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:06,280
Your judgmental badger face.
416
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,949
- Jenna, even for you,
417
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,284
this is weird.
- Be a friend, Liz.
418
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:14,038
Until then, I don't
want to talk to you.
419
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:17,500
- Looks like one
of us is in trouble.
420
00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:25,258
- How is he?
- He's awake. But...
421
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:26,926
- But what?
422
00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:28,218
- Well, sir,
423
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,179
I've spent a lot of
time with peafowl.
424
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:32,265
They make all sorts
of different noises.
425
00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:33,557
[Trills]
426
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:34,100
[Caws]
427
00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:35,685
[Crows]
428
00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:38,020
[Trills] Ooh,
that's a car alarm.
429
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:39,472
- Kenneth, what's your point?
430
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:42,358
- It's just I've
never in all my life
431
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:43,650
heard a peacock say
432
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,112
Sempai and Kohai.
433
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:47,404
- What did you say?
434
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,282
- Sempai and Kohai.
435
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:53,035
At least, that's
what it sounded like.
436
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,264
Kenneth, I've been
under a lot of strain lately.
437
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,166
But do you believe a human soul
438
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,168
could be transferred
into an animal vessel?
439
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,420
- Sir, I think that there's
a lot about this world
440
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,046
that we don't understand.
441
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:04,964
Like the afterlife.
442
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:08,426
Or how bread turns into toast.
443
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,055
- Liz,
444
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:15,266
I am in love with
Grizz's fiancee, Feyonce.
445
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:17,143
- Oh, my god!
446
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:18,495
I definitely didn't know that.
447
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,563
- Would you talk to
Grizz and convince him
448
00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:22,015
Tracy should be his best man?
449
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,066
- Okay, yeah. I'll try to help.
450
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:26,319
But can I please
go to the gym first?
451
00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:28,196
- No.
452
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,157
[Phone ringing]
453
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:32,158
- Hello.
454
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:33,159
- [Whispering] Badger.
455
00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:33,993
It's another badger.
456
00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:35,995
The third badger
has taken the bait.
457
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:38,331
- Why is everyone
code named badger?
458
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:40,503
I thought you said you
wanted to do it this way.
459
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,126
- No, I said I didn't care.
460
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,339
[Elevator dings]
461
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:51,260
Jenna, can we
please talk about this
462
00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,596
before it becomes a big...
463
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:54,972
Aah!
- Hello, Liz.
464
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:57,344
Jenna told me I didn't need
to hide from you anymore.
465
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,018
- All right, let's
cut to the chase.
466
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:00,310
What's your game, friend?
467
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:01,705
What are you getting out of this
468
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,022
- what am I getting out of this?
469
00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:04,314
- Yeah.
470
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:06,165
- I am the luckiest
"shman" in the world.
471
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,945
I get to be with
the most talented,
472
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:10,404
beautiful, sexy woman ever.
473
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,157
- So you aren't just
using her for your act?
474
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:14,158
- My act?
475
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:17,245
I'd never tuck my penis
again if she asked me.
476
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,246
All I want to do
477
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:22,208
is spend my days
listening to her talk and sing
478
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,260
and scream at her
cleaning lady on the phone.
479
00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:26,254
To be honest, Liz,
480
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,398
I just don't understand
what she gets out of it.
481
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:31,092
- I think I do, Paul.
482
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,219
She finally gets
to love herself.
483
00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:33,844
It's perfect.
484
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:36,681
- What are you
two talking about?
485
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:37,473
Both: You, Jenna.
486
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:40,518
- Ooh.
487
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,937
- This situation is
empirically weird.
488
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:46,148
But... I'm glad you're happy.
489
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,192
- I heard what
you said about me.
490
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:49,986
You're so sweet.
491
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:52,613
- God, you're incredible.
492
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:55,992
- Okay, guys, let's just...
493
00:17:56,284 --> 00:18:00,121
Ew, Jenna, why are
you grabbing his boobs?
494
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:07,878
- [Purring]
495
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:09,672
- I don't know, argus.
496
00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:11,507
Maybe it's the scotch talking,
497
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:14,093
but I think...
498
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:16,887
There might be a
man's soul inside you.
499
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:20,516
- [Continues purring]
500
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:26,022
- This is crazy, but, Don,
501
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:28,608
if you're in there...
502
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:29,942
Give me a sign.
503
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:31,319
- [Caws]
504
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,616
[Coos]
505
00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:38,326
- You want a drink.
506
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:39,619
[Laughing]
507
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:01,849
- [Caws]
508
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,019
- Don...
509
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,020
Sempai...
510
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:07,647
There's just a few things
511
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:09,148
I want you to know.
512
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,026
You're the father
that I never had.
513
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:13,318
- [Squawks]
514
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:14,402
- Just let me finish.
515
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,072
I want to live
the rest of my life
516
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:19,241
in a way that'll make you proud.
517
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:23,329
I just wish you could be
here to watch me do it.
518
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,255
Good-bye, sir.
519
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:34,547
- [Coos]
520
00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:39,386
- All right, Grizz.
521
00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,055
I'm gonna speak
frankly to you now.
522
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:43,057
And I can do that
because of our...
523
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:44,349
Sexual past.
524
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,727
- Damn, Beth, let it go.
525
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,398
- Don't even have a best man.
526
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,358
Your wedding day
527
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,193
is about you and your bride.
528
00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,487
So who cares what anyone thinks?
529
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,155
Love isn't judgmental.
530
00:19:58,447 --> 00:19:59,865
Love is patient.
531
00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:01,492
Love is... Weird.
532
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:04,662
And sometimes gross.
533
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:06,580
Love is elusive.
534
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:07,872
And you found it.
535
00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:08,999
So treasure it.
536
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,752
And maybe don't leave
it alone with Dotcom.
537
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,130
- That was beautiful.
538
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,422
Look at me...
539
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:18,175
Crying like a baby.
540
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:21,053
- So now I am
Grizz and Feyonce's
541
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:21,887
woman of honor.
542
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,699
And he wants me to
give the same speech
543
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:26,642
at the hunts point marriott
while wearing a dashiki.
544
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,144
- So you're...
545
00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:29,913
- in three weddings
in the same day, yeah.
546
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,021
You're welcome.
547
00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:37,153
- ♪ When I was young ♪
548
00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:42,116
♪ I never needed anyone ♪
549
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:46,704
♪ makin' love was just for fun ♪
550
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:48,497
♪ those days are gone ♪
551
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:53,836
- ♪ all by myself ♪
552
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:55,337
♪ don't wanna be ♪
553
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:59,300
Both: ♪ all by myself ♪
554
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:00,592
♪ anymore ♪
555
00:21:00,718 --> 00:21:02,052
- This is awesome!
556
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:06,307
Both: ♪ all by myself ♪
557
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,559
♪ anymo... ♪
38100
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