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1
00:00:01,751 --> 00:00:02,871
And this is the two-bedroom.
2
00:00:03,002 --> 00:00:05,004
Wow.
3
00:00:07,548 --> 00:00:09,342
By the hammer of Thor!
4
00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:10,676
Can you afford this place?
5
00:00:10,968 --> 00:00:11,968
Yeah.
6
00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:13,420
I can with this new promotion.
7
00:00:13,679 --> 00:00:15,389
It's... a lot more money.
8
00:00:15,681 --> 00:00:18,226
Like "get away with murdering
my first wife" kind of dough.
9
00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:19,227
Mm-hmm.
10
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:22,271
See, now, I could hang
a huge TV right there.
11
00:00:22,563 --> 00:00:24,440
You could get
that third humidifier
12
00:00:24,732 --> 00:00:25,441
you always dreamed about.
13
00:00:25,733 --> 00:00:26,359
Slow down.
14
00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:28,653
I'm not ready
to move my humidifiers yet.
15
00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:30,655
Oh, I know.
I don't mean right away.
16
00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:33,449
I just meant... someday.
Hopefully.
17
00:00:33,741 --> 00:00:35,493
Yeah, good.
Someday.
18
00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:38,454
But for now, I got a great job.
19
00:00:38,746 --> 00:00:39,288
A kick-ass girlfriend.
20
00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:41,499
I deserve an apartment to match.
21
00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:43,111
And I think this
is definitely it.
22
00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:45,294
I'll take this one too.
23
00:00:45,586 --> 00:00:48,172
My son Ahmed will keep
his motorcycles here.
24
00:00:49,715 --> 00:00:52,343
Oh! Thanks for coming.
25
00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:54,928
Oh... ooh.
26
00:00:58,182 --> 00:01:05,648
♪♪
27
00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:20,329
Lemon!
28
00:01:20,621 --> 00:01:22,290
Oh, welcome back.
How was Paris?
29
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,292
Paris was fantastic.
30
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,344
We stayed in this little place
in the Seventh
31
00:01:26,460 --> 00:01:27,628
that Phoebe knew about.
32
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:29,005
I'm Phoebe.
33
00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:30,840
We've met before.
34
00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:32,692
Jack proposed to me
outside your office.
35
00:01:32,925 --> 00:01:34,594
I have hollow bones.
Like a bird.
36
00:01:34,885 --> 00:01:36,470
Yes, no.
I remember you, hi.
37
00:01:36,762 --> 00:01:37,471
Hi.
38
00:01:37,763 --> 00:01:39,056
Well, I should go.
39
00:01:39,348 --> 00:01:40,628
We've just won
the auction rights
40
00:01:40,766 --> 00:01:42,727
to a fantastic collection
of Chinese erotica.
41
00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:44,854
Pick out a good one for me.
42
00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:46,146
Careful.
43
00:01:46,314 --> 00:01:47,898
Bye.
44
00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:53,654
So... have you guys
set a date?
45
00:01:53,946 --> 00:01:55,281
Yes, we have.
May 18th.
46
00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:57,950
That's Bianca's wedding date.
It was my idea.
47
00:01:58,242 --> 00:01:59,368
That's fast.
48
00:01:59,660 --> 00:02:01,096
Well, there are no rules
in love, Lemon.
49
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,539
My... Princeton roommate
did it the right way.
50
00:02:03,831 --> 00:02:05,499
Dated his college girlfriend
for 13 years,
51
00:02:05,791 --> 00:02:07,311
and the marriage
didn't last eight months.
52
00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:09,962
And now he's
a post-op transgender.
53
00:02:10,254 --> 00:02:11,589
Will you look at that?
54
00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:14,383
Phoebe reset my watch
to New York time
55
00:02:14,675 --> 00:02:15,995
while I was sleeping
on the plane.
56
00:02:16,135 --> 00:02:17,637
She really is a wonderful girl.
57
00:02:17,928 --> 00:02:20,115
And I do hope the two of you
get to know each other better.
58
00:02:20,139 --> 00:02:21,139
Okay, sure.
59
00:02:21,265 --> 00:02:22,534
Why don't you have
a girls' day out?
60
00:02:22,558 --> 00:02:23,558
Take Jenna with you.
61
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:24,977
You could have lunch,
go shopping.
62
00:02:25,269 --> 00:02:28,564
Here... take my gold card.
63
00:02:28,856 --> 00:02:29,899
Ooh, it's heavy.
64
00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:31,776
It's... made of gold.
65
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:34,612
Ah. Wow.
66
00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:36,364
Turned me down, Liz Lemon.
67
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:37,656
Who?
68
00:02:37,865 --> 00:02:38,865
The damn bank.
69
00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:41,452
I need a loan to finance
my Thomas Jefferson movie.
70
00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:43,079
It's gonna be
at least $30 million
71
00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:45,081
with all the Claymation
sex scenes in it.
72
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:46,725
And they didn't want
to pay for that?
73
00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:47,333
It's all right.
74
00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:49,225
The movie's just
a small part of my plan.
75
00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:51,837
What plan?
The Tracy Jordan comeback.
76
00:02:52,129 --> 00:02:54,548
I'm doing a comedy tour,
a Michael McDonald cover album.
77
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:55,966
Ah, boy, I don't know, Tray.
78
00:02:56,258 --> 00:02:58,386
I don't think of you
as a great multitasker.
79
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:01,055
What can I do?
I'm on my grind.
80
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:02,507
I'm gonna have so much money,
81
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,266
my grandkids
are gonna play lacrosse.
82
00:03:04,558 --> 00:03:05,643
Lacrosse, Liz Lemon.
83
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:09,146
"I'm on my grind."
Is that a...
84
00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:12,649
There he is.
85
00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:14,694
The Floydster!
86
00:03:14,985 --> 00:03:16,380
I heard you were going in
for your final interview.
87
00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:17,644
I wanted to put in a good word.
88
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:19,466
All right, well,
that should put me over the top.
89
00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:20,490
Oh, you're already there.
90
00:03:20,741 --> 00:03:22,159
The other candidate
is an outsider.
91
00:03:22,451 --> 00:03:23,994
And we like to promote
from within.
92
00:03:24,286 --> 00:03:26,706
Plus, his name is Alan Garkel.
93
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:30,668
You're never gonna lose a job
to a guy named Garkel.
94
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,337
Did someone say my name?
95
00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:36,173
Nah, you're not gonna beat that.
96
00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:40,970
Well-played, Garkel.
97
00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:46,892
Because Carl's trying
to kill the gophers,
98
00:03:47,184 --> 00:03:48,184
but then the explosion
99
00:03:48,269 --> 00:03:49,645
knocks Danny's ball
into the hole,
100
00:03:49,937 --> 00:03:50,956
and he wins the tournament.
101
00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:53,065
And that is the plot
of Caddyshack.
102
00:03:53,357 --> 00:03:54,793
I can't believe
you've never seen it.
103
00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:55,943
Classic.
104
00:03:56,235 --> 00:03:57,820
Oh! Jeez, I'm sorry.
105
00:03:58,112 --> 00:03:59,488
Oh, you like Wagner?
106
00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:01,282
No, I like Elmer Fudd.
107
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,033
♪ Kill da wabbit ♪
108
00:04:03,325 --> 00:04:04,618
♪ Kill da wabbit ♪
109
00:04:04,910 --> 00:04:08,038
My parents
were both poets, so I...
110
00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:09,373
don't really get it.
111
00:04:10,916 --> 00:04:14,587
So this has just been
a whirlwind romance for you.
112
00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:17,298
Just a... whirl of wind.
113
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,067
Look, I know
what you must be thinking.
114
00:04:19,091 --> 00:04:22,344
What kind of a woman
marries a man she hardly knows?
115
00:04:22,636 --> 00:04:23,679
What is she after?
116
00:04:23,971 --> 00:04:25,473
No, no, no.
I don't think that.
117
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:28,017
I completely get it,
why you would wanna marry Jack.
118
00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:30,978
I'd marry Jack in a heartbeat.
119
00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:33,272
I would have a three-way
with two Jacks.
120
00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:34,732
You need to cool it.
121
00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:36,144
Let's face it... at our age,
122
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,777
we can't afford
to waste any time.
123
00:04:38,068 --> 00:04:39,068
Mm-hmm.
124
00:04:40,070 --> 00:04:41,670
Floyd and I have been
dating for a month.
125
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,901
Do you think I should be mad
that I don't have a ring?
126
00:04:45,075 --> 00:04:47,870
Wow, how Sex in the City
are we right now?
127
00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:49,830
I'm Samantha, you're Charlotte,
128
00:04:50,122 --> 00:04:51,802
and you're the lady at home
who watches it.
129
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,295
Dude, check it out.
130
00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:58,464
Bill Cosby hates you.
131
00:04:58,756 --> 00:05:00,257
What?
Look here.
132
00:05:00,549 --> 00:05:02,051
"Tracy Jordan has made a career
133
00:05:02,343 --> 00:05:04,553
"out of exploiting
black stereotypes.
134
00:05:04,845 --> 00:05:07,389
He is an embarrassment
to African-Americans."
135
00:05:07,681 --> 00:05:09,016
Why would he say that?
136
00:05:09,308 --> 00:05:11,852
What have I ever done
to embarrass black people?
137
00:05:12,144 --> 00:05:12,645
Uh...
138
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:14,980
Why are we doing this?
139
00:05:15,272 --> 00:05:16,982
Because the Jets lost!
140
00:05:17,274 --> 00:05:18,901
Mr. Jordan,
your manager called.
141
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:21,612
Temple University has canceled
your stand-up appearance.
142
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:23,544
And Michael McDonald
is denying permission
143
00:05:23,697 --> 00:05:24,777
to record any of his songs.
144
00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:25,990
In other words:
145
00:05:26,116 --> 00:05:27,868
♪ Oh, Tracy, you can't ♪
146
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,329
♪ Use any of my songs ♪
147
00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:33,999
This is no coincidence.
148
00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:35,371
What are you talking about?
149
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:36,669
The bank loan.
150
00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:38,712
The Michael McDonald situation.
151
00:05:39,004 --> 00:05:40,004
Temple University.
152
00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:42,925
Dr. Cosby
is sending a message!
153
00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,385
They're out to destroy me!
154
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:46,178
Who is?
155
00:05:46,470 --> 00:05:48,305
The Black Crusaders.
156
00:05:56,897 --> 00:05:58,190
Oh, Floyd would love this one.
157
00:05:58,482 --> 00:06:00,025
Yikes!
158
00:06:00,317 --> 00:06:02,862
If I was gonna spend $600
to have my boobs pinched,
159
00:06:03,153 --> 00:06:04,214
I would have gone
to that fundraiser
160
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:05,281
at the Clintons' house.
161
00:06:06,740 --> 00:06:08,868
Come on, that was solid!
162
00:06:09,159 --> 00:06:11,787
Liz, I'm concerned
I'm boring Jack sexually.
163
00:06:12,079 --> 00:06:13,289
No, no.
No... ugh.
164
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:14,701
We've only just got engaged,
165
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,226
and already our intercourse
is infrequent
166
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:17,250
and unimaginative.
167
00:06:17,334 --> 00:06:19,020
Phoebe, I'm really not
that kind of girlfriend.
168
00:06:19,044 --> 00:06:20,480
I would gladly pick you up
at the airport.
169
00:06:20,504 --> 00:06:22,590
In Paris, he fell asleep
on top of me.
170
00:06:24,633 --> 00:06:27,011
I mean, I just want
to make him happy.
171
00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:28,663
If he's happy,
I'm happy, you know?
172
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:29,597
Mm.
173
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,049
Do you have that credit card?
174
00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:33,391
Thanks.
175
00:06:33,642 --> 00:06:35,102
Hi, I'll take everything.
176
00:06:36,937 --> 00:06:37,938
Liz, can you help me?
177
00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:39,230
Yes, ma'am.
178
00:06:39,481 --> 00:06:41,567
I don't know you,
but I will help you.
179
00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:43,777
Damn it.
I can't believe it.
180
00:06:44,069 --> 00:06:45,279
Garkel?
I'm sorry.
181
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:46,571
I'm just sick of it.
182
00:06:46,780 --> 00:06:47,907
I'm so tired of this city.
183
00:06:48,198 --> 00:06:50,242
I am so tired of the rat race.
184
00:06:52,411 --> 00:06:53,829
Fellas!
185
00:06:54,121 --> 00:06:55,831
You gotta keep it down, okay?
186
00:06:56,123 --> 00:06:57,166
I got work in the morning.
187
00:06:57,458 --> 00:06:59,126
Molnya is looking
very strong tonight.
188
00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:02,004
Mr. Debarber, come on.
189
00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:03,714
Fine.
20 across the board.
190
00:07:05,799 --> 00:07:07,239
Yeah, you gotta
talk to your landlord
191
00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:08,344
about that rat race.
192
00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:09,845
That is my landlord.
193
00:07:10,137 --> 00:07:11,263
On Yeah.
194
00:07:11,555 --> 00:07:12,973
Maybe I just need
to go out of town
195
00:07:13,265 --> 00:07:13,933
for a little while.
196
00:07:14,224 --> 00:07:16,018
That's a good idea.
Vermont is always nice.
197
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:17,770
Or the Bahamas.
198
00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:19,229
I was thinking of Cleveland.
199
00:07:19,521 --> 00:07:20,898
That is also a place.
200
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:23,609
I just haven't been home
in a long time.
201
00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:25,277
We need to search your bag.
202
00:07:25,569 --> 00:07:26,904
Of course they do.
203
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,449
You know, I dream
about moving back to Lakewood.
204
00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:32,952
Or maybe even Shaker Heights.
205
00:07:33,243 --> 00:07:34,662
Big Creek Parkway.
206
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,831
Sending the kids
to St. John Bosco's, you know.
207
00:07:38,123 --> 00:07:40,459
Maybe even cheering on
the tribe at the Jake.
208
00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:43,337
This dream, this
is way down the road, right?
209
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:44,672
Yeah. Yeah.
210
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,423
Three, maybe four years.
211
00:07:46,715 --> 00:07:48,676
What's this fungus cream for?
212
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:50,344
All right, that's it.
Show's over.
213
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:51,887
Gimme that.
214
00:07:52,179 --> 00:07:54,473
Let's just walk.
215
00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:56,934
So how long do you see yourself
living in New York?
216
00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:58,686
Well, like, forever.
At least, I did.
217
00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:00,688
Really?
218
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,272
You wanna end up like that?
219
00:08:05,275 --> 00:08:07,111
No.
I'm gonna be like her.
220
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:10,906
Oh, there is nothing
like New York in the spring!
221
00:08:11,198 --> 00:08:12,533
It's... oh!
222
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:14,243
Ooh.
Ooh.
223
00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:15,536
All right, come on.
224
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,538
This is the capital
of the world.
225
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:18,497
The culture, the div...
226
00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:19,915
Ugh!
227
00:08:20,207 --> 00:08:21,291
Uck!
You all right?
228
00:08:21,583 --> 00:08:23,669
He spit in my mouth!
229
00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:25,337
Ugh!
230
00:08:25,629 --> 00:08:26,797
Let's go to Cleveland.
231
00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:28,966
Oh, blurgh!
232
00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:36,140
Hey, Frank told me
about that Cosby thing.
233
00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:37,432
That is harsh.
234
00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:38,683
Harsh?
I'm done.
235
00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:41,186
The Black Crusaders want
to make an example out of me.
236
00:08:41,478 --> 00:08:43,188
I'm not gonna
ask you who that is.
237
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,357
The Black Crusaders
are a secret group
238
00:08:45,649 --> 00:08:46,817
of powerful black Americans.
239
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:49,486
Bill Cosby and Oprah Winfrey
are the chief majors.
240
00:08:49,778 --> 00:08:51,363
But Jesse Jackson, Colin Powell,
241
00:08:51,655 --> 00:08:53,949
and Gordon from Sesame Street,
they're members too.
242
00:08:54,241 --> 00:08:55,576
And they meet four times a year
243
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,348
in the skull
of the Statue of Liberty.
244
00:08:57,578 --> 00:08:59,496
You can read about that
on the interweb.
245
00:08:59,788 --> 00:09:02,332
Ah, well, it must be true
if it's on the "interweb."
246
00:09:02,624 --> 00:09:03,125
Right, uh-huh.
247
00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:05,627
Make fun of me
all you want, Liz Lemon.
248
00:09:05,919 --> 00:09:08,005
Do you know they'll
ruin anybody who they think
249
00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:09,757
are making black people
look bad?
250
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,009
They tanked 50 Cent's movie.
251
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:14,303
The blew out
Terrell Owens' ankle.
252
00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:17,014
And they canceled
Eddie Murphy's Oscar,
253
00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:18,974
'cause he, uh, ran out
on Scary Spice.
254
00:09:19,266 --> 00:09:21,268
And now they after Tracy Jordan!
255
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,854
Tracy, I know the movie
is important to you,
256
00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:25,290
and you're stressed out
and everything,
257
00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:27,524
but keep it together, okay?
258
00:09:27,816 --> 00:09:28,816
The cleanup continues.
259
00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:30,426
Fortunately,
there were no injuries.
260
00:09:30,527 --> 00:09:31,653
Tracy Jordan,
261
00:09:31,945 --> 00:09:33,781
the Black Crusaders
are coming for you.
262
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,592
We'll have more on the weather
coming up...
263
00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:37,618
Man, I wish somebody else
had seen that.
264
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,913
Hi.
265
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:42,664
Look what Phoebe got me.
266
00:09:42,956 --> 00:09:44,124
Golf clubs?
267
00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:46,877
Not just golf clubs.
268
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:48,712
These clubs once belonged
269
00:09:49,004 --> 00:09:50,589
to President Gerald Ford.
270
00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:52,674
Oh, wow.
271
00:09:52,966 --> 00:09:55,219
So what do you think of Phoebe?
272
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:57,930
Oh, well...
we had fun.
273
00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:00,641
And, uh, Phoebe bought
some bonkers underwear.
274
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,392
So have fun with that tonight.
275
00:10:02,684 --> 00:10:03,685
Well, not tonight.
276
00:10:03,977 --> 00:10:05,020
On uh, may I?
277
00:10:05,312 --> 00:10:05,896
Thank you.
278
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:07,523
Not tonight unfortunately.
279
00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:10,192
She's, uh, speaking in a seminar
280
00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:11,568
up at Columbia.
281
00:10:11,860 --> 00:10:14,613
And as much as I would
like to attend,
282
00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:17,950
I haven't been above
72nd Street in over a decade.
283
00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:20,369
Well, I'm glad you're happy.
284
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:21,703
Hal!
285
00:10:21,995 --> 00:10:24,206
It's all Phoebe.
286
00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:28,168
We have an attraction that can
only be described as...
287
00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:29,837
wolf-like.
288
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:31,129
Lupine.
289
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,381
Okay.
290
00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:33,673
I am so exhausted.
291
00:10:33,882 --> 00:10:36,009
Paris was, to borrow a phrase,
292
00:10:36,301 --> 00:10:38,137
just... bonkers.
293
00:10:38,428 --> 00:10:39,471
Yes, Phoebe said.
294
00:10:53,235 --> 00:10:54,235
Do you cover him?
295
00:10:54,444 --> 00:10:55,444
Psst! Psst!
296
00:10:57,322 --> 00:10:58,949
Phoebe isn't going
to Columbia tonight.
297
00:10:59,241 --> 00:10:59,867
She had me call a car
298
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:01,785
to take her
to this address downtown.
299
00:11:02,077 --> 00:11:03,797
So what do you want me to do,
go spy on her?
300
00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:05,080
For Mr. Donaghy's sake.
301
00:11:05,372 --> 00:11:06,957
I know you have
your doubts about this.
302
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:08,268
I can see it in your eyes.
303
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:09,668
It's weird, right?
304
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,354
Then again,
all relationships are weird.
305
00:11:11,378 --> 00:11:13,398
I mean, my boyfriend Floyd
wants to go to Cleveland.
306
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:15,382
Ah, thank God.
307
00:11:15,674 --> 00:11:17,009
Mr. Donaghy's office.
308
00:11:22,514 --> 00:11:24,099
Just a quick look.
309
00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:30,981
By the hammer of Thor!
310
00:11:37,321 --> 00:11:38,697
Ew.
311
00:11:53,670 --> 00:11:55,130
Jack, I have to talk to you.
312
00:11:55,422 --> 00:11:56,742
Is this about
the Tracy situation?
313
00:11:56,798 --> 00:11:58,675
Then it'll have to wait.
What Tracy situation?
314
00:11:58,967 --> 00:11:59,967
I tried to call you.
315
00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:02,429
He set fire to a cardboard
cutout of Al Roker,
316
00:12:02,721 --> 00:12:04,490
and now he's locked himself
in his dressing room.
317
00:12:04,514 --> 00:12:05,514
Oh, brother.
318
00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:07,184
Tracy!
319
00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:10,103
Come out.
Nobody is trying to get you.
320
00:12:10,395 --> 00:12:13,649
Have you seen the cover of
this month's Oprah magazine?
321
00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:16,818
It's an anagram for
"Outlaw Sour Tray.”
322
00:12:18,111 --> 00:12:20,781
Who taught Tracy about anagrams?
323
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:23,659
I'm gonna call
Dr. Spaceman.
324
00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:25,577
Hey, car's downstairs.
You ready to go?
325
00:12:25,869 --> 00:12:26,869
Um...
326
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,000
The Black Crusaders
are trying to get rid of me.
327
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:31,041
They want me to disappear
like Coolio.
328
00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:32,376
Coolio is around!
329
00:12:32,668 --> 00:12:33,168
What...
330
00:12:33,460 --> 00:12:35,879
Would you also prescribe
something for Tracy
331
00:12:36,171 --> 00:12:37,881
which would keep him awake
during sex?
332
00:12:38,173 --> 00:12:39,758
Oh, great.
Okay, I'll talk to you later.
333
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:41,343
Thanks.
334
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,805
Let's get outta here.
335
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:47,391
♪ What hot spot's got
the hippest groove? ♪
336
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,043
Welcome to Cleveland.
Good morning.
337
00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:51,186
♪ Where all the real
gone daddies move ♪
338
00:12:51,478 --> 00:12:53,105
Good morning.
Hi.
339
00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:54,690
Hello.
340
00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:56,984
What smells so good?
341
00:12:58,777 --> 00:12:59,820
Cleveland.
342
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:02,823
♪ Where the jet set swing
with hepcats ♪
343
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:05,367
♪ Shop at Higby's,
then we'll hit the Flats ♪
344
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:06,827
Excuse me.
345
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:08,119
Are you a model?
346
00:13:08,203 --> 00:13:09,203
No.
347
00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:10,580
Oh, you are so skinny.
348
00:13:10,872 --> 00:13:12,152
You really should eat something.
349
00:13:13,625 --> 00:13:17,254
♪ I say, Cleveland, hello ♪
350
00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:19,381
♪ Yeah ♪
351
00:13:19,673 --> 00:13:22,676
♪ New York and Paris
just don't have ♪
352
00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:25,387
♪ The sights you see
on Euclid Ave ♪
353
00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,222
Ugh.
354
00:13:27,514 --> 00:13:29,075
Would you like to pet
a real police horse?
355
00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:31,518
♪ Chef Boyardee
was born here ♪
356
00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:32,810
Yes!
357
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:36,940
♪ Terminal Tower
soars up in the sky ♪
358
00:13:37,232 --> 00:13:40,152
♪ All the 50 groovy stories high ♪
359
00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:41,528
Oh, ladies first.
360
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,572
♪ I say Cleveland, hello ♪
361
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:45,741
Hi, I'll have two hot dogs,
362
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,473
a pretzel with
extra melted cheese...
363
00:13:49,661 --> 00:13:51,079
Hiya.
364
00:13:51,371 --> 00:13:52,539
Ms. Lemon,
this is Kenneth,
365
00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:54,207
the NBC page in New York City.
366
00:13:54,499 --> 00:13:55,685
I hate to bother you out west,
367
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,149
but Tracy Jordan
hasn't come to work.
368
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:59,379
Kenneth, don't be
so New York uptight.
369
00:13:59,671 --> 00:14:01,173
I'm sure he'll show up.
370
00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:04,009
♪ Look over there,
I think I see a movie star ♪
371
00:14:04,301 --> 00:14:06,094
♪ Even movie stars,
they come to Cleveland ♪
372
00:14:06,386 --> 00:14:07,386
♪ To get away ♪
373
00:14:07,637 --> 00:14:09,765
♪ Tracy Jordan,
you've gotta get away ♪
374
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:12,267
♪ Gotta get away,
gotta get away ♪
375
00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:15,729
♪ To Cleveland ♪
376
00:14:16,021 --> 00:14:18,398
Liz...
377
00:14:18,690 --> 00:14:20,770
I have something important
I wanna talk to you about.
378
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:24,029
The top law firm
in Cleveland wants me.
379
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,490
And... I think
I should accept.
380
00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:27,782
What? Really?
381
00:14:29,659 --> 00:14:30,659
What's this?
382
00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:31,495
It's a house in the Heights
383
00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:32,829
that I can afford.
384
00:14:33,121 --> 00:14:35,999
When did you have time
to look for jobs and houses?
385
00:14:36,291 --> 00:14:38,102
When you were at
the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
386
00:14:38,126 --> 00:14:40,087
Did I tell you
I sat in ZZ Top's car?
387
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,047
And then I had lunch
with Little Richard.
388
00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:45,008
And, I know it's not TGS, but...
389
00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:48,053
I'm sure you can find a job
at one of the local TV stations.
390
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:49,345
You sure could.
391
00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:52,182
We need a host
for a new cooking show
392
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:53,892
on WKYC.
393
00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:57,062
Uh...
394
00:15:06,154 --> 00:15:07,447
Where have you been?
395
00:15:07,739 --> 00:15:08,907
Cleveland.
396
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:09,741
For God sakes, Lemon,
397
00:15:10,033 --> 00:15:12,202
we'd all like
to flee to the Cleve.
398
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:13,662
And club up down at the Flats
399
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:15,181
and have lunch
with Little Richard.
400
00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:16,331
But we fight those urges
401
00:15:16,623 --> 00:15:18,375
because we have
responsibilities.
402
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:19,667
What's going on?
403
00:15:19,751 --> 00:15:20,919
Tracy.
He's missing.
404
00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:21,837
What?
405
00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:23,189
No. Kenneth, have you
tried to call Tracy?
406
00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:25,757
Yes, ma'am, I tried
all six of his cell phones.
407
00:15:26,049 --> 00:15:29,302
It's almost as if
he never existed.
408
00:15:29,594 --> 00:15:30,929
Or maybe he's not answering.
409
00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:35,350
Lemon, TGS without Tracy Jordan
410
00:15:35,642 --> 00:15:36,852
is basically a puppet show.
411
00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:38,395
You know, I'm right here.
412
00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:39,896
Oh, why am I doing this
413
00:15:40,188 --> 00:15:42,274
when I could be happy
living in Cleveland?
414
00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:43,233
What?
415
00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:44,943
Floyd and I
are thinking of moving.
416
00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:45,902
No, you're not.
No, you're not.
417
00:15:46,194 --> 00:15:47,237
Look, every great getaway
418
00:15:47,529 --> 00:15:49,948
has that moment when you want
to pack it all in and stay.
419
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,159
That's how I ended up
with a timeshare...
420
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:53,827
in Port Arthur, Texas.
421
00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:55,221
I don't think
that's what this is.
422
00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:56,305
I mean, Floyd is pretty great.
423
00:15:56,329 --> 00:15:58,874
And, look, in Cleveland,
I'm a model.
424
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,128
Yeah, we're all models
west of the Allegheny.
425
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:05,380
I'm serious about this.
426
00:16:05,672 --> 00:16:06,756
Maybe you should go.
427
00:16:07,048 --> 00:16:09,168
I mean, your head is obviously
not in the game lately.
428
00:16:09,217 --> 00:16:10,236
And now you've lost Tracy.
429
00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:11,260
Maybe you're burned out.
430
00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:12,471
What is this?
431
00:16:12,762 --> 00:16:14,181
This is Frank's
"Hot Baby" sketch,
432
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:15,640
which is regrettable,
433
00:16:15,932 --> 00:16:17,932
but we have no Tracy Jordan
and a show in two days.
434
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:19,227
But, hey,
435
00:16:19,519 --> 00:16:20,663
that's not gonna be your problem
436
00:16:20,687 --> 00:16:22,481
once you move to Ohio.
437
00:16:24,774 --> 00:16:26,818
No, you're not.
438
00:16:27,110 --> 00:16:28,487
Frank, that's gonna get cut.
439
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:31,865
Blurgh!
440
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:33,317
Did you say anything to Jack?
441
00:16:33,533 --> 00:16:34,853
No, but I'm going to
if you don't.
442
00:16:35,118 --> 00:16:36,118
Oh, grow up, Liz.
443
00:16:36,244 --> 00:16:37,644
I didn't tell Jack
where I was going
444
00:16:37,787 --> 00:16:40,040
'cause I didn't want him
to get upset about nothing.
445
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:41,684
That man was a former
lover of mine.
446
00:16:41,708 --> 00:16:43,084
I was ending it with him,
forever.
447
00:16:43,376 --> 00:16:45,003
Uh-huh, and are all
your ex-boyfriends
448
00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:46,421
rich, older gentlemen?
449
00:16:46,713 --> 00:16:47,839
I care about Jack.
450
00:16:48,131 --> 00:16:50,342
I make him a better man.
451
00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:51,634
You know how John Lennon
452
00:16:51,801 --> 00:16:52,511
was better than
the rest of the Beatles,
453
00:16:52,802 --> 00:16:54,846
but didn't realize it
until he met Yoko Ono?
454
00:16:55,138 --> 00:16:56,431
Well, I'm Jack's Yoko.
455
00:16:56,723 --> 00:16:57,891
You want to be Yoko?
456
00:16:58,183 --> 00:16:59,577
This is none of your business,
anyway.
457
00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:00,769
I'm marrying Jack.
458
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:02,938
He's everything I ever
wanted. Oh, I bet he is.
459
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:05,106
You don't
know anything about me, so back off!
460
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:08,985
What happened to your accent?
461
00:17:09,277 --> 00:17:10,654
Um...
462
00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:12,266
I don't
know what you're on about.
463
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:15,200
You... daft wanker.
464
00:17:18,411 --> 00:17:21,873
♪♪
465
00:17:26,127 --> 00:17:27,504
Hello?
466
00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:28,796
Hello, Liz Lemon.
467
00:17:29,047 --> 00:17:30,882
It's me.
468
00:17:31,174 --> 00:17:32,551
Stacy Gordon.
469
00:17:32,842 --> 00:17:34,344
Tracy, where are you
calling from?
470
00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,638
I can't tell you that.
471
00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:37,973
I'm sorry, Liz Lemon.
472
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:40,025
I wanna thank you
for everything you've done.
473
00:17:40,141 --> 00:17:41,141
But I quit.
474
00:17:41,309 --> 00:17:42,789
For God's sakes, Tracy,
where are you?
475
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:44,229
Starting a new life.
476
00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:46,022
Because of the Black Crusaders?
477
00:17:46,314 --> 00:17:46,982
That's crazy.
478
00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:48,858
Tray?
479
00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:50,630
Damn it, Lemon,
why didn't you tell me
480
00:17:50,735 --> 00:17:52,175
the Black Crusaders
were after Tracy?
481
00:17:55,156 --> 00:17:56,908
♪♪
482
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:58,201
Surprisingly fast.
483
00:17:58,493 --> 00:17:59,493
Oh.
484
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:09,170
I'm on it.
485
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:15,385
I can't go to Cleveland.
486
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:16,970
Hi.
487
00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:18,763
Hi. I'm sorry.
488
00:18:19,055 --> 00:18:20,157
I just, I've been thinking
about this.
489
00:18:20,181 --> 00:18:21,349
And I think you're great.
490
00:18:21,641 --> 00:18:23,476
And obviously Cleveland
is great.
491
00:18:23,768 --> 00:18:24,978
But I can't move.
492
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,063
I know.
493
00:18:27,355 --> 00:18:28,795
My life is here.
My friends are here.
494
00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:30,942
The show is here.
And I've known you a month.
495
00:18:31,234 --> 00:18:34,070
Oh, you hate me right
now, don't you? No.
496
00:18:34,362 --> 00:18:36,197
No, it was a crazy idea
to begin with.
497
00:18:36,489 --> 00:18:38,241
We were on a vacation high...
498
00:18:38,533 --> 00:18:39,242
Exactly.
It's like a drug.
499
00:18:39,534 --> 00:18:41,494
Right... if the whole world
500
00:18:41,786 --> 00:18:43,306
moved to their favorite
vacation spots,
501
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:44,930
then the whole world
would live in Hawaii
502
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,166
and Italy and Cleveland.
503
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:47,458
Totally, I mean...
504
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,252
But just knowing
that C-Town is out there
505
00:18:49,544 --> 00:18:51,022
as an option for the future... Liz...
506
00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:52,565
it's gonna make it
so much easier... Liz...
507
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:53,840
I took that job.
508
00:18:56,843 --> 00:18:58,386
Blurgh.
509
00:19:04,142 --> 00:19:05,352
Did you locate Tracy?
510
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:06,811
Ugh, not yet.
511
00:19:07,103 --> 00:19:08,103
I'm working on it.
512
00:19:08,271 --> 00:19:09,790
You know, you never answered
my question the other day.
513
00:19:09,814 --> 00:19:10,934
What do you think of Phoebe?
514
00:19:11,107 --> 00:19:12,567
Honestly, I wish I had the guts
515
00:19:12,859 --> 00:19:13,860
to do what you're doing.
516
00:19:14,152 --> 00:19:15,487
Just... going for it.
517
00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:17,197
God bless.
518
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:19,783
You still haven't answered
my question.
519
00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:22,869
I... think she
likes you a lot.
520
00:19:23,161 --> 00:19:26,164
And I think
she takes care of you.
521
00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:27,916
And she's smart and pretty.
522
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:30,251
And completely wrong.
523
00:19:30,543 --> 00:19:32,170
And she doesn't deserve you.
524
00:19:32,462 --> 00:19:33,713
I think she's weird,
525
00:19:34,005 --> 00:19:35,131
and I don't like her,
526
00:19:35,423 --> 00:19:37,008
and her ex-boyfriend is old.
527
00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:38,885
And I don't even think
she's British!
528
00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:40,637
And you
shouldn't marry her, Jack.
529
00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:42,597
Please don't marry her!
530
00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:47,519
Oh, my God.
531
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:48,811
Lemon, Phoebe was right.
532
00:19:49,062 --> 00:19:51,064
You are infatuated with me.
533
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:51,856
What?
534
00:19:52,148 --> 00:19:53,148
No! No, no, no.
535
00:19:53,191 --> 00:19:54,984
Lemon, you
are a wonderful woman.
536
00:19:55,276 --> 00:19:56,903
And you deserve to be
as happy as I am.
537
00:19:57,195 --> 00:19:58,780
Maybe with Floyd, right?
538
00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:00,115
No, don't mention Floyd.
539
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:02,534
Floyd is not happening.
Floyd is moving.
540
00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:04,536
Floyd is moving?
541
00:20:04,828 --> 00:20:05,828
What did you do?
542
00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:06,954
What did I do?
543
00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:08,540
I acted like a rational adult!
544
00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:10,959
I didn't get engaged
to some gold digger,
545
00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:12,711
and then delude myself
into thinking
546
00:20:13,002 --> 00:20:14,146
that I could keep up with her.
547
00:20:14,170 --> 00:20:16,005
Yeah, Jack, I know
that you fell asleep
548
00:20:16,297 --> 00:20:18,091
on top of her in Paris.
549
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,510
In Paris, France.
550
00:20:25,014 --> 00:20:26,850
I think you should go.
551
00:20:30,103 --> 00:20:37,402
♪♪
552
00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:40,739
Uh, Phoebe, darling,
Lemon was just leaving.
553
00:20:56,504 --> 00:20:58,256
Blurgh.
37567
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