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1
00:00:04,378 --> 00:00:05,481
What class do you wanna take?
2
00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,089
Oh, anything
that doesn't have the word
3
00:00:07,381 --> 00:00:10,301
"strip," "salsa," or "beatz"
with a Z in the name of it.
4
00:00:10,593 --> 00:00:12,553
Cardio Hip-Hop Groove
it is then.
5
00:00:12,845 --> 00:00:13,930
Hey, what's up?
6
00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:14,889
Hey!
7
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:16,933
Nothing, just...
going into the same class
8
00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:18,225
you're going into.
9
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:19,727
Cool.
10
00:00:24,273 --> 00:00:25,292
Hey, I hope
I don't sweat on you.
11
00:00:25,316 --> 00:00:27,068
You can sweat on me.
12
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:28,903
This is my girlfriend,
Liz Lemler.
13
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:30,613
Hi!
14
00:00:30,905 --> 00:00:32,073
That's Liz Lemon.
15
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,158
Oh, the girl who got my flowers.
16
00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:35,785
Yes.
Hope you enjoyed them.
17
00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:37,077
I did... actually,
18
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,955
I finally just threw them out
this morning
19
00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:41,123
'cause they got
that really bad flower smell.
20
00:00:41,415 --> 00:00:45,044
I kind of couldn't stop
smelling them.
21
00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:47,797
Advanced hip-hop!
You ready, here we go!
22
00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:51,092
Here we go, take it...
Five, six, seven, and...
23
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:52,760
One, huh!
24
00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:54,303
Hup, yeah!
25
00:00:54,595 --> 00:00:55,805
Uh! Whoo!
26
00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:58,099
Turn it!
Don't give up, ponytail.
27
00:00:58,391 --> 00:00:59,892
Come on, you got this.
28
00:01:00,184 --> 00:01:01,184
Come on, girl.
29
00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:05,731
Lemon, come here,
you've gotta see this.
30
00:01:06,023 --> 00:01:08,359
It's a video of a baby panda...
31
00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:09,651
sneezing.
32
00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:10,903
Sit here.
33
00:01:11,195 --> 00:01:12,915
Don't watch the mother,
just watch the baby.
34
00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:18,911
That is the cutest thing
I've ever seen.
35
00:01:19,203 --> 00:01:20,203
Isn't that adorable?
36
00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:22,039
You have to fire
10% of your staff.
37
00:01:22,331 --> 00:01:23,374
What?
38
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:26,043
We're synergizing
backward overflow.
39
00:01:26,335 --> 00:01:28,272
I don't write the policy,
Lemon, I only enforce it.
40
00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:30,423
No, but I've never
fired anybody in my life.
41
00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:31,841
It's an acquired skill.
42
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:33,735
I'm not trying to make
your life miserable,
43
00:01:33,759 --> 00:01:35,028
but this is coming from the top.
44
00:01:35,052 --> 00:01:36,637
Now, there are 140 people
on this show,
45
00:01:36,929 --> 00:01:39,724
so go out there and make
126 people very happy.
46
00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:41,285
No, I don't think I can do that.
47
00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:43,644
Everyone that works
at this show is indispensable.
48
00:01:43,936 --> 00:01:45,146
Marco.
Polo!
49
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,273
Marco! Polo! Polo!
50
00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:48,816
Polo!
51
00:01:49,108 --> 00:01:50,388
Josh, you suck
at this game, man.
52
00:01:53,613 --> 00:02:01,579
♪♪
53
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:15,301
10%? I can't fire
any of these people.
54
00:02:15,593 --> 00:02:16,260
Who cares?
55
00:02:16,552 --> 00:02:17,011
Getting fired is better
56
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:18,929
than getting killed by my wife.
57
00:02:19,221 --> 00:02:21,141
Those big farm people hands
crushing my windpipe.
58
00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:22,892
Everything okay at home, buddy?
59
00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:24,411
Remember that little secret
I told you
60
00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:26,979
about Hornberger
family planning?
61
00:02:27,271 --> 00:02:29,552
You mean that you flat-out lied
about getting a vasectomy?
62
00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:31,609
Don't tell me that backfired.
63
00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:32,902
She's late now.
64
00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,945
And she's starting
to ask questions.
65
00:02:35,237 --> 00:02:35,821
Oh, boy.
66
00:02:36,113 --> 00:02:37,215
Do you need a key
to my apartment?
67
00:02:37,239 --> 00:02:38,239
Just for my own safety.
68
00:02:38,449 --> 00:02:40,993
Hey, Liz Lemon, you know
where I can find a good church?
69
00:02:41,285 --> 00:02:43,537
How good, like Judaism good,
or just like Unitarian?
70
00:02:43,829 --> 00:02:46,165
My attorney told me I should
join a church preemptively.
71
00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:49,001
'Cause juries are suspicious
of celebrities
72
00:02:49,293 --> 00:02:51,462
who find religion
after getting into trouble.
73
00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:53,547
Why don't you try
the Church of Practicology?
74
00:02:53,839 --> 00:02:55,119
They love movie stars and stuff.
75
00:02:55,299 --> 00:02:56,318
They already turned me down.
76
00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:58,552
I'm still not sure
what happened.
77
00:02:58,844 --> 00:03:00,471
I believe the moon
doesn't exist.
78
00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:03,307
I believe that vampires are
the world's greatest golfers,
79
00:03:03,599 --> 00:03:05,719
but their curse is that
they'll never get to prove it.
80
00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:07,295
I believe that there
are 31 letters
81
00:03:07,561 --> 00:03:08,729
in the white alphabet.
82
00:03:09,021 --> 00:03:11,524
Wh... what was the question again?
83
00:03:12,983 --> 00:03:15,152
So what's your religion,
Liz Lemon?
84
00:03:15,444 --> 00:03:20,074
Mm, I pretty much just do
whatever Oprah tells me to.
85
00:03:22,201 --> 00:03:23,369
Can I help you?
86
00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:24,954
Yes, sweetheart.
87
00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:26,446
I'm looking for Jack Dona-hee.
88
00:03:26,580 --> 00:03:27,957
And you are?
89
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:30,042
Eddie Dona-hee, Jack's brother.
90
00:03:30,334 --> 00:03:32,378
Really? 'Cause Jack
never mentioned a brother.
91
00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:35,005
And his name is Dona-gee,
not Dona-hee.
92
00:03:35,297 --> 00:03:38,926
You know, you could be pretty
if you didn't scowl so much.
93
00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:41,053
Tracy, this
is Jack's brother, Eddie.
94
00:03:41,345 --> 00:03:42,345
Hi.
95
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:45,390
Look who I found.
96
00:03:49,228 --> 00:03:50,228
Eddie Donaghy.
97
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:53,398
As I live and breathe.
98
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:56,443
You're a disgrace!
99
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,821
You're not the boss of me,
Jack Donaghy!
100
00:03:59,113 --> 00:04:00,698
That's Dona-gee, not Dona-hee!
101
00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:04,284
You ruined my suit!
102
00:04:04,493 --> 00:04:05,870
Aw, shut up, you baby!
103
00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:07,842
Oh, my God, stop!
Someone's gonna get hurt!
104
00:04:08,038 --> 00:04:10,666
Look, this is about Dad.
105
00:04:10,958 --> 00:04:12,144
What'd you two dirt-bags do now?
106
00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:13,919
Fix the Cotton Bowl?
107
00:04:14,211 --> 00:04:15,211
Dad's dead.
108
00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:17,214
It's over.
109
00:04:17,506 --> 00:04:18,966
Okay?
110
00:04:22,344 --> 00:04:24,638
This watch was Dad's.
111
00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:27,016
He wanted you to have it.
112
00:04:35,983 --> 00:04:36,983
Are you okay?
113
00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:39,069
Yeah, I'm okay.
114
00:04:39,361 --> 00:04:42,031
I haven't seen my dad
in 17 years.
115
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:43,843
I haven't seen Eddie
since I bailed him
116
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:44,908
out of Disney jail.
117
00:04:44,992 --> 00:04:46,327
And now this watch.
118
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:47,328
I'm sorry.
119
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:48,871
Don't be.
120
00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:52,374
My dad and Eddie are a blotch
on the Dona-hee name...
121
00:04:52,666 --> 00:04:55,628
Dona-gee name.
122
00:04:57,087 --> 00:04:58,464
That's how it's pronounced.
123
00:04:58,756 --> 00:04:59,465
Say it.
124
00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:02,009
Donaghy.
Right.
125
00:05:05,262 --> 00:05:07,640
I really appreciate you
bringing me to your church, Ken.
126
00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:09,141
Hola, Julio.
127
00:05:09,433 --> 00:05:11,193
I'm glad to help you
on your spiritual quest,
128
00:05:11,268 --> 00:05:13,103
Mr. Jordan.
129
00:05:17,274 --> 00:05:19,151
What kind of Presbyterian
is this?
130
00:05:19,443 --> 00:05:21,087
No, we're the Eighth Day
Resurrected Covenant
131
00:05:21,111 --> 00:05:22,111
of the Holy Trinity.
132
00:05:22,321 --> 00:05:23,906
We haven't been Presbyterian
for months.
133
00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:26,325
And y'all always meet
on Wednesday nights?
134
00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:28,285
Yeah, we lose half
the congregation
135
00:05:28,577 --> 00:05:30,579
every time American Idol
starts up.
136
00:05:30,871 --> 00:05:32,414
Reverend Gary's starting.
137
00:05:32,706 --> 00:05:34,124
God sees the wicked one.
138
00:05:34,416 --> 00:05:36,877
Eternal damnation
is upon the sinner.
139
00:05:37,169 --> 00:05:39,505
The stench of rotten flesh
fills the air.
140
00:05:39,797 --> 00:05:42,383
Judgment is upon us all!
141
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:45,386
How will you be seen
in his eyes?
142
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,680
What? He pointed
right at me!
143
00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:49,139
He sure did!
144
00:05:49,431 --> 00:05:50,808
No!
145
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,143
The fires of the pit
crackle and pop.
146
00:05:55,354 --> 00:05:57,022
Hi, I got you coffee.
147
00:05:57,314 --> 00:05:58,774
Thanks.
Oh, I forgot your muffin!
148
00:05:59,066 --> 00:06:00,776
Banana walnut, your favorite.
149
00:06:01,068 --> 00:06:03,946
Uh, that's not correct,
but okay.
150
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:05,322
Good morning, Liz.
151
00:06:05,614 --> 00:06:06,657
What's all this?
152
00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:09,952
Sketches, promos, web content.
153
00:06:10,244 --> 00:06:11,244
Thoughts for next season.
154
00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,038
Uh-huh. Nice hat.
155
00:06:13,330 --> 00:06:14,349
You haven't heard anything
156
00:06:14,373 --> 00:06:15,875
about layoffs, have you?
157
00:06:16,166 --> 00:06:16,834
What? No!
158
00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:19,420
And even if I had,
I'm just being normal.
159
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,005
Gosh.
Okay.
160
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:22,297
Hey, Liz!
161
00:06:22,339 --> 00:06:23,419
You wanna hang out tonight?
162
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:24,991
'Cause you're totally
my role model.
163
00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:26,468
You make smart sexy.
164
00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:29,805
There's my beautiful boss.
Good morning!
165
00:06:30,097 --> 00:06:32,391
Good morning, Henry.
166
00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:38,981
There you go.
167
00:06:40,691 --> 00:06:41,901
The YMCA, huh?
168
00:06:42,192 --> 00:06:44,653
Congratulations,
you've found me out.
169
00:06:44,945 --> 00:06:45,945
So your life's a mess,
170
00:06:46,071 --> 00:06:47,271
you go out and buy a new suit,
171
00:06:47,531 --> 00:06:48,824
pretend everything's okay.
172
00:06:49,116 --> 00:06:50,236
But... what happened, Eddie?
173
00:06:50,492 --> 00:06:51,201
What do you care?
174
00:06:51,493 --> 00:06:53,370
I'm happy here.
175
00:06:53,662 --> 00:06:55,623
Gordon, so help me!
176
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,541
Look, I went broke
177
00:06:57,833 --> 00:06:59,752
taking care of Dad...
End of story.
178
00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:01,324
Then let me give you some money.
179
00:07:01,378 --> 00:07:02,397
No, seeing Dad at the end,
180
00:07:02,421 --> 00:07:05,215
it...
it changed me, Jack.
181
00:07:05,507 --> 00:07:06,842
I got a real job now.
182
00:07:07,134 --> 00:07:09,470
I talk homeless people
into joining the Army.
183
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,347
Isn't there anything
that you want?
184
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:13,015
One thing.
185
00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:15,225
I'd like my brother back.
186
00:07:15,517 --> 00:07:18,103
Look, I know I've been
nothing but trouble to you
187
00:07:18,395 --> 00:07:19,395
your entire life.
188
00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:21,023
Juvie, Jonestown,
189
00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:22,983
that time I punched Goofy.
190
00:07:23,275 --> 00:07:25,611
Hell, I even blinded you
with a bottle rocket!
191
00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:27,881
Ah, that was for a couple
of lousy months, big deal.
192
00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:29,823
I had sex with your prom date.
193
00:07:30,115 --> 00:07:31,115
I stole your identity.
194
00:07:31,158 --> 00:07:31,784
I threw you out of a window.
195
00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:33,786
I convinced you you had lupus.
196
00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:35,158
I microwaved your parakeet.
197
00:07:35,287 --> 00:07:36,372
I hated that bird.
198
00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:38,207
We had some great times,
didn't we?
199
00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:39,499
Yeah.
200
00:07:49,134 --> 00:07:51,637
Hmm, you're
on my good list, Cary.
201
00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:05,442
Hey, sorry about that.
202
00:08:05,734 --> 00:08:08,237
Not super appropriate...
in the workplace.
203
00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:09,697
No, it's...
204
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,789
it's only inappropriate
when it's ugly people.
205
00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:15,703
So, um, how long
have you guys been together?
206
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,830
Oh, well...
that's tricky.
207
00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:20,749
Uh, kind of off and on
the past year.
208
00:08:21,041 --> 00:08:22,835
But then she got
this job here, and...
209
00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:25,087
It's kinda tough
to stay broken up
210
00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:26,859
with someone
you have to see everyday.
211
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:31,176
Where does she work?
Your Liz.
212
00:08:31,468 --> 00:08:32,886
In accounting.
213
00:08:33,178 --> 00:08:33,846
On your show.
214
00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:36,348
She works for you.
215
00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:44,189
I know who I can fire!
216
00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:47,901
Hey. Liz! Hey!
217
00:08:48,193 --> 00:08:49,313
You can't fire the other Liz
218
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:50,672
unless she's in the bottom 10%.
219
00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:53,240
Ugh, you can just tell she is
by her stupid face!
220
00:08:53,532 --> 00:08:54,812
You're a better person
than this.
221
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:56,827
Jack has given me
absolute power.
222
00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:58,871
I am the decider.
223
00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:00,956
Okay, you can't just do this.
224
00:09:01,248 --> 00:09:02,666
I'm not gonna just do anything.
225
00:09:02,958 --> 00:09:03,958
I have a plan.
226
00:09:04,084 --> 00:09:07,254
Step one, befriend the enemy
and gather information.
227
00:09:07,546 --> 00:09:09,548
Then use the information
to drive her
228
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,175
into the bottom 10%.
229
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,218
Good Lord... your eyes.
230
00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:14,887
You look like
that lady astronaut
231
00:09:15,179 --> 00:09:16,764
who tried to kidnap
that other woman.
232
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,348
Hey, that was a lady
with a plan.
233
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:19,640
Diapers, Mace,
234
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,047
Houston to Orlando
in nine hours?
235
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:22,311
Blammo.
236
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:24,188
I know I'm the guy
who lied to his wife
237
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,191
about having a vasectomy,
but this...
238
00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:28,483
this is wrong.
239
00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:30,110
No, it's not wrong!
240
00:09:30,402 --> 00:09:32,946
I'm just staying the course,
and I'm enjoying it.
241
00:09:33,238 --> 00:09:34,406
Jack is out of my hair,
242
00:09:34,698 --> 00:09:35,818
people are being nice to me.
243
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:37,701
There's a guy I like
in the building,
244
00:09:37,993 --> 00:09:40,329
and I have the authority
to fire his girlfriend?
245
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,381
For the first time ever,
things are lining up
246
00:09:42,539 --> 00:09:44,208
for old Liz Lemon.
247
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,836
Stop! Stop it!
248
00:09:48,128 --> 00:09:49,129
Jack, come on.
249
00:09:49,421 --> 00:09:51,840
Mr. Donaghy, your assistant's
been looking for you.
250
00:09:52,132 --> 00:09:53,401
Oh, thank you
very much, Kenneth.
251
00:09:53,425 --> 00:09:57,137
Uh, Eddie and I have just been
making up for some lost time.
252
00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:01,683
Hey, Jack, uh, you mind
if I take a few grapes
253
00:10:01,975 --> 00:10:02,975
for dinner later?
254
00:10:03,143 --> 00:10:04,463
Why don't you just take
the money?
255
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:05,520
No.
256
00:10:05,729 --> 00:10:07,089
If you wanna give money
to someone,
257
00:10:07,147 --> 00:10:09,027
you give it to those nurses
who took care of Dad
258
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:10,692
at Chicago All Saints Hospital.
259
00:10:10,984 --> 00:10:13,612
They never once said anything
about the racist stuff
260
00:10:13,904 --> 00:10:15,030
towards the end.
261
00:10:15,322 --> 00:10:17,324
All right, I'll have
my assistant write a check.
262
00:10:17,616 --> 00:10:18,776
Help yourself to some grapes.
263
00:10:19,034 --> 00:10:20,661
But you had to go
to the bathroom,
264
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:22,305
so Dad missed seeing
Meredith Vieira!
265
00:10:22,329 --> 00:10:23,329
Now I'm pissed!
266
00:10:23,455 --> 00:10:24,455
Not one of you kids
267
00:10:24,623 --> 00:10:26,125
Is ever gonna amount
to anything!
268
00:10:26,416 --> 00:10:28,293
That's why your mom left.
269
00:10:28,585 --> 00:10:29,585
Yeah.
270
00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:31,463
Maybe we should get
all the Donaghy kids
271
00:10:31,755 --> 00:10:32,798
back together again.
272
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,466
Aw, Jack, they don't
wanna see me.
273
00:10:34,758 --> 00:10:37,261
Oh, come on, we're Irish.
274
00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:39,346
We're a forgiving people.
275
00:10:39,638 --> 00:10:40,806
Aww!
276
00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:42,766
I'm so glad you asked.
277
00:10:43,058 --> 00:10:44,338
Kabbalah is a wonderful religion
278
00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:47,312
that mixes the fun part
of Judaism with magic.
279
00:10:47,604 --> 00:10:48,604
So where do you worship?
280
00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:51,942
Where don't you worship?
281
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:53,711
Hey, Jack's brother.
What religion are you?
282
00:10:53,735 --> 00:10:57,322
This one sounds
really expensive and gay.
283
00:10:57,614 --> 00:10:59,867
Oh, well, uh,
I'm Irish Catholic.
284
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,327
Now, I know there's been
a lot of controversy
285
00:11:02,619 --> 00:11:03,328
around the church lately.
286
00:11:03,620 --> 00:11:05,289
You know,
because of The Da Vinci Code.
287
00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:07,141
But what's great is
you can do anything,
288
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,042
anything,
289
00:11:09,334 --> 00:11:10,562
and as long
as you go to confession,
290
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:11,920
it's forgiven.
291
00:11:13,672 --> 00:11:15,716
I'm Irish Catholic.
292
00:11:18,635 --> 00:11:20,220
Well, well, other Liz.
293
00:11:20,512 --> 00:11:23,432
Played saxophone
in the marching band at Rutgers?
294
00:11:24,516 --> 00:11:26,894
Kept that a secret
from your employer, didn't you?
295
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,228
Excuse me, Liz.
296
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,480
Jack said it'd be okay
if I put this here.
297
00:11:30,772 --> 00:11:32,983
It's, uh, for the hospital
that took care of my dad.
298
00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:36,361
Oh, yeah... I'm so glad to see
you and Jack getting along.
299
00:11:36,653 --> 00:11:39,198
Uh, absolutely, we...
We'll give money, right?
300
00:11:39,489 --> 00:11:40,508
You want us to give money?
301
00:11:40,532 --> 00:11:41,909
I'd be happy to.
302
00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:44,203
Heart of gold, I.I.
303
00:11:44,494 --> 00:11:45,597
Is there a limit
to how much we can give?
304
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:46,621
I hope not.
305
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:47,872
Let's get our checkbooks!
306
00:11:48,123 --> 00:11:49,123
Yeah!
307
00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:50,542
Wow.
308
00:11:50,834 --> 00:11:52,794
I bet Pops is looking down
right now and saying,
309
00:11:53,086 --> 00:11:55,297
"If I could come back
and do any broad,
310
00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:57,633
it'd be that one
right there."
311
00:11:59,092 --> 00:12:00,092
Ew.
312
00:12:05,432 --> 00:12:07,713
So Pop says, "What does it
look like I'm doing right now?"
313
00:12:07,976 --> 00:12:10,687
So they ended up landing
in Dallas for six hours
314
00:12:10,979 --> 00:12:12,356
and it was on the news!
315
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:14,328
It was not on the news,
you're such a liar.
316
00:12:17,277 --> 00:12:19,238
Excuse me, everybody,
this is Kenneth.
317
00:12:19,529 --> 00:12:20,609
Kenneth, this is my family.
318
00:12:20,697 --> 00:12:22,241
That's Patrick,
this is Patricia,
319
00:12:22,532 --> 00:12:25,160
this is Katherine Catherine,
and her husband Bobby,
320
00:12:25,452 --> 00:12:27,663
and this is, uh, Margaret.
321
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:29,289
We just found out
about her today.
322
00:12:29,581 --> 00:12:29,998
Oh, uh, welcome!
323
00:12:30,290 --> 00:12:31,351
Kenneth's going to take you all
324
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:33,085
downstairs to the studio.
325
00:12:33,377 --> 00:12:35,087
I would like to make
a toast to Pop.
326
00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:37,232
Well, we've been toasting Pop
for over an hour now.
327
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,483
Maybe we should pace ourselves.
328
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,026
You know what, why don't you
stop trying
329
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:40,759
to control everything, Jack?
330
00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:42,678
He was a wonderful father.
331
00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:45,180
He was always ready with a joke.
332
00:12:45,472 --> 00:12:48,934
Or rum balls in his pockets
for the kids.
333
00:12:52,896 --> 00:12:54,398
Eddie?
334
00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:01,655
Come here, you magnificent
douche bag!
335
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:04,074
Eddie!
336
00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:05,366
How the hell are ya?
337
00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:09,245
Have a drink.
338
00:13:09,329 --> 00:13:12,124
Uh, actually I've been clean
and sober for seven months.
339
00:13:16,336 --> 00:13:17,397
That's funny, that's funny.
340
00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:18,046
Stop showing off
and have a drink.
341
00:13:18,338 --> 00:13:21,425
Sure.
342
00:13:26,513 --> 00:13:27,014
Hey, Liz.
343
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:29,141
Oh, hey, Liz.
344
00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:32,269
Right, so I'm doing
these quick performance reviews.
345
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:33,705
I'm gonna be doing them
with everybody
346
00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:36,064
every six months or so, so, um,
are you settling in okay?
347
00:13:36,356 --> 00:13:38,191
Yeah, everyone's been great.
348
00:13:38,483 --> 00:13:40,277
Learning where stuff is.
349
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:42,005
What would you say
are your weaknesses?
350
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:45,240
Some people say I'm too nice.
351
00:13:45,532 --> 00:13:47,326
Where do you see yourself
in five years?
352
00:13:47,617 --> 00:13:48,327
Well, hopefully,
353
00:13:48,618 --> 00:13:50,037
I'll still be
working for G.E.
354
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,331
It's a great company
for working moms.
355
00:13:52,622 --> 00:13:53,622
What?
356
00:13:53,665 --> 00:13:55,250
You know, in five years.
357
00:13:55,542 --> 00:13:56,251
In... I mean, I'm
in a relationship right now.
358
00:13:56,543 --> 00:13:59,546
By then I'll probably have
a couple of kids,
359
00:13:59,838 --> 00:14:02,132
be living in the suburbs...
Just having it all, really.
360
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:03,425
You're fired!
361
00:14:05,927 --> 00:14:07,554
I'm the decider!
362
00:14:13,685 --> 00:14:15,437
Uh...
363
00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:17,272
God, I missed you guys.
364
00:14:17,564 --> 00:14:20,067
It's too bad it took Dad dying
to get us all together again.
365
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:23,403
He was always bringing
people together.
366
00:14:23,695 --> 00:14:25,072
He was just like Lady Di.
367
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:26,073
He was.
368
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:27,741
This is Margaret.
369
00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:30,494
Boy, she's really got
Mom's smile, doesn't she?
370
00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:31,203
Yeah.
371
00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:32,829
To Pop!
372
00:14:33,121 --> 00:14:35,040
The sorriest bastard
that ever walked the earth.
373
00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:37,209
Don't say that about my daddy!
374
00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:39,211
Oh, Patricia,
you're embarrassing yourself.
375
00:14:39,503 --> 00:14:42,005
Yeah, well, you don't
say that about my father, Mrs.!
376
00:14:45,842 --> 00:14:46,842
What do you say...
377
00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:48,762
Good posture, who cares?
378
00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:50,531
Uh, what do you say
we all head downstairs
379
00:14:50,555 --> 00:14:52,307
right now before this takes
the traditional
380
00:14:52,599 --> 00:14:54,643
Donaghy turn for the worse.
381
00:14:54,935 --> 00:14:56,770
Seriously,
don't even start with me!
382
00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:58,647
Don't start with me, Mrs.!
383
00:14:58,939 --> 00:15:00,357
You did it, you fired her?
384
00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:02,234
Uh-huh.
You cant' do that, Liz!
385
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:03,711
I'm gonna tell human resources!
386
00:15:03,735 --> 00:15:04,444
No, no, you're not!
387
00:15:04,736 --> 00:15:06,154
You're fired!
388
00:15:06,446 --> 00:15:07,072
Did you just fire Pete?
389
00:15:07,364 --> 00:15:09,533
Yes! I'm gonna put his name
on a list!
390
00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:10,825
And everything!
391
00:15:14,454 --> 00:15:15,956
Can I help you?
392
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:19,334
Ms. Lemon, the, uh,
accounting department
393
00:15:19,626 --> 00:15:21,426
wishes to protest the firing
of our colleague.
394
00:15:21,711 --> 00:15:22,295
Now, we have discussed it...
395
00:15:22,587 --> 00:15:23,630
You're fired!
396
00:15:23,922 --> 00:15:25,173
You're all fired!
397
00:15:25,465 --> 00:15:27,551
Clean out your desks!
Fired!
398
00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:37,256
Lemon, the purpose of these cuts
399
00:15:37,477 --> 00:15:39,163
is to make us more efficient
so we make more money.
400
00:15:39,187 --> 00:15:40,832
And the people who tell me
if I'm making more money
401
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:41,857
are called accountants.
402
00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:43,629
And if I don't have
any accountants...
403
00:15:43,733 --> 00:15:45,152
No, Jack, you would be
proud of me.
404
00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:46,444
It's all part of a plan.
405
00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:47,237
It just got out of control.
406
00:15:47,529 --> 00:15:48,196
A plan to do what?
407
00:15:48,488 --> 00:15:52,242
Things were really lining up
for old Liz Lemon.
408
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:55,162
And this other Liz,
this accountant girl,
409
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:58,957
was just getting in the way
of my happiness.
410
00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:00,375
Your happiness?
411
00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:03,879
Lemon, is this about a boy?
412
00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:06,131
Mm-hmm.
413
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:08,925
Good God in heaven.
414
00:16:09,217 --> 00:16:10,257
Who is he?
What's his name?
415
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:12,137
Flower guy?
416
00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:14,681
Lemon, you've gone
chicken killer on me
417
00:16:14,973 --> 00:16:16,600
over a guy whose name
you don't know?
418
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:19,144
And you still think
our next President
419
00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:20,436
should be a woman?
420
00:16:20,645 --> 00:16:22,189
He just seems
like a really cool guy,
421
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:25,192
and I think he likes me
more than her.
422
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,903
That's... very sad.
423
00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:31,364
It really is, isn't it?
424
00:16:31,656 --> 00:16:34,618
I'm gonna go talk
to some food about this.
425
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:41,261
Oh, Liz, did you
put your check in already?
426
00:16:41,541 --> 00:16:43,168
Oh, no.
427
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:46,463
Who do I make it out to?
Chicago All Saints Hospital?
428
00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:48,755
Eddie just said to write
the initials on the check.
429
00:16:49,007 --> 00:16:49,716
C...
430
00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:51,301
A...
431
00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:54,554
S... H.
432
00:16:56,723 --> 00:16:59,267
Son of a bitch.
433
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,356
Eddie already took
the other box.
434
00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:18,328
Son.
435
00:17:21,748 --> 00:17:22,457
Dad?
436
00:17:22,749 --> 00:17:24,334
Your brother Eddie's dead.
437
00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:27,879
He wanted you to have his watch.
438
00:17:33,301 --> 00:17:35,011
♪♪
439
00:17:35,303 --> 00:17:36,930
Eddie.
440
00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:38,348
You.
441
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:39,140
Me?
442
00:17:39,432 --> 00:17:41,101
You! What are you
doing here?
443
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:42,102
What do you think?
444
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:43,994
I'm pulling
the Dead Man's Curve on Jack.
445
00:17:44,145 --> 00:17:46,106
When we parted ways, we agreed
446
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:47,792
that I would get Jack
and you would do
447
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:48,900
the thing in Sacramento!
448
00:17:49,192 --> 00:17:51,027
You are both a disgrace
to the Donaghy name!
449
00:17:51,319 --> 00:17:54,823
It's pronounced Dona-fee, you
lace curtain half-an-Englishman!
450
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:58,034
When I think of all the things
that I've been holding
451
00:17:58,326 --> 00:18:00,245
inside me that I wanted
to say to you...
452
00:18:00,537 --> 00:18:01,079
Well, now I'm gonna let
St. Patrick
453
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:03,415
and St. Michael
do my talking for me!
454
00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:05,625
You'll have to get
through Tip O'Neill
455
00:18:05,917 --> 00:18:07,294
and Bobby Sands first!
456
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:08,878
You call those fist names?
457
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:12,382
Say hello to Bono
and Sandra Day O'Connor!
458
00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:14,843
Those are the stupidest
fist names I've ever heard.
459
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:17,512
Daddy's not dead!
460
00:18:17,804 --> 00:18:19,889
Eddie, you lying sack of crap!
461
00:18:20,181 --> 00:18:22,451
Jack Donaghy, you don't raise
your fists to my dead father!
462
00:18:22,475 --> 00:18:23,475
Bobby, give me my keys.
463
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,729
Let's go!
464
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,355
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
465
00:18:27,647 --> 00:18:29,065
Yeah, what... what are you doing?
466
00:18:29,357 --> 00:18:30,917
You can't fight in front
of my audience!
467
00:18:30,942 --> 00:18:32,542
What, do you think
you're better than me?
468
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,241
Lemon, are you okay?
469
00:18:38,533 --> 00:18:42,370
I want you... to punch
your sister in the face.
470
00:18:42,662 --> 00:18:44,080
It's on.
471
00:18:44,372 --> 00:18:47,000
I call same sides
as the bicentennial brawl!
472
00:18:48,918 --> 00:18:49,918
I was impressed
473
00:18:50,045 --> 00:18:51,504
by how you take a punch, Lemon.
474
00:18:51,796 --> 00:18:53,256
I played dead
for the worst of it,
475
00:18:53,548 --> 00:18:54,609
but it didn't fool your family.
476
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:55,759
It sure didn't.
477
00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:57,051
The whole thing
478
00:18:57,093 --> 00:18:58,386
was strangely reassuring,
though.
479
00:18:58,678 --> 00:19:01,306
To know that they'll be there
after I'm dead,
480
00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:02,807
fighting over my corpse
481
00:19:03,099 --> 00:19:04,934
before it's
cryogenically frozen.
482
00:19:05,226 --> 00:19:07,437
Where's Eddie now?
483
00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:10,106
I gave him and my dad
a three-day head start
484
00:19:10,398 --> 00:19:11,941
out of love and sportsmanship.
485
00:19:12,233 --> 00:19:13,401
Hmm.
486
00:19:13,693 --> 00:19:15,111
As always, it's been a pleasure
487
00:19:15,403 --> 00:19:17,614
fighting with you.
488
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:19,032
Oh, I had to rehire
489
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:21,117
that Liz Lemler that you fired.
490
00:19:21,409 --> 00:19:22,118
Okay.
491
00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:24,130
And I didn't want
any more trouble with her,
492
00:19:24,245 --> 00:19:25,598
so I had to give her
a promotion too.
493
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:27,415
Fantastic.
494
00:19:27,707 --> 00:19:29,547
It's an amazing opportunity
for her out at, uh,
495
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,419
corporate headquarters.
496
00:19:31,711 --> 00:19:34,339
In Connecticut?
497
00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:36,132
She's transferred
to Connecticut?
498
00:19:36,424 --> 00:19:37,424
Yes.
499
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:38,301
That's right.
500
00:19:38,593 --> 00:19:40,220
It seems that things
are lining up
501
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,597
once again for old Liz Lemon.
502
00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:45,225
And you say?
503
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:46,517
Thank you, Jack.
504
00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:47,602
You're welcome.
505
00:19:59,155 --> 00:20:00,824
I hear your girlfriend
got transferred.
506
00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:02,116
Sorry.
507
00:20:02,158 --> 00:20:03,284
Yeah.
508
00:20:03,576 --> 00:20:05,161
I guess it wasn't meant to be.
509
00:20:05,453 --> 00:20:05,954
Liz!
510
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:07,473
You forgot to give me
the key to your place,
511
00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:10,125
and I need it, my wife knows
about our little secret.
512
00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:12,252
I don't know how she found out.
513
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:13,086
Oh, God.
514
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:14,796
I should've just gotten
a vasectomy!
515
00:20:15,088 --> 00:20:16,965
Let me explain.
516
00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:21,112
Hey, did you hear
the good news, J. D.?
517
00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:22,137
I'm Irish Catholic now.
518
00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:24,222
Like you, Regis, and the Pope.
519
00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:25,140
Oh, no, you're not.
520
00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:27,058
The church already has
enough lawsuits.
521
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,978
See, I could screw up now,
and then just go to confession.
522
00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:31,438
No longer do I have to throw
523
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:33,773
my parties
in international waters.
524
00:20:34,065 --> 00:20:35,608
That's not how it works, Tracy.
525
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:36,961
Even though there
is the whole confession thing,
526
00:20:36,985 --> 00:20:38,069
that's no free pass.
527
00:20:38,361 --> 00:20:39,821
Because there
is a crushing guilt
528
00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:41,740
that comes
with being a Catholic.
529
00:20:42,031 --> 00:20:43,533
Whether things are good, or bad,
530
00:20:43,825 --> 00:20:45,702
or you're simply eating tacos
in the park.
531
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:49,831
There is always
the crushing quilt.
532
00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:51,916
I don't think I want that.
533
00:20:52,208 --> 00:20:53,460
I'm out.
534
00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:58,047
Somehow I feel oddly guilty
about that.
535
00:20:58,339 --> 00:21:00,133
I don't want
nothing crushing me.
36885
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