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1
00:00:05,963 --> 00:00:07,048
Come on in, Tracy.
2
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,220
Yo, is this about that little
red-headed intern?
3
00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:11,344
'Cause she asked me
to take it out.
4
00:00:11,636 --> 00:00:12,636
No, no, no.
5
00:00:12,678 --> 00:00:13,958
I wanted to invite you
to join me
6
00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:16,222
at a charity golf tourney
that Don Geiss is hosting
7
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:18,059
at his country club
in Old Saybrook.
8
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:21,312
I'm not familiar with about
half the words in that sentence.
9
00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:23,439
How 'bout you come with me
to a big party
10
00:00:23,731 --> 00:00:26,442
in Connecticut, and
meet Don Geiss?
11
00:00:26,734 --> 00:00:28,986
Is that the gay guy
from Project Runway?
12
00:00:29,278 --> 00:00:30,278
No.
13
00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:31,739
He's the CEO
of this corporation.
14
00:00:32,031 --> 00:00:33,115
The big man.
15
00:00:33,407 --> 00:00:34,407
The dude from my checks?
16
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:36,118
The dude from your checks.
17
00:00:36,410 --> 00:00:38,120
And a good person
for you to know.
18
00:00:38,412 --> 00:00:39,455
A'ight, sure.
19
00:00:39,747 --> 00:00:40,831
Thanks for inviting me.
20
00:00:41,123 --> 00:00:42,291
Okay false alarm.
21
00:00:42,583 --> 00:00:44,335
It turns out she asked him
to take it out.
22
00:00:46,712 --> 00:00:48,673
Oh, hey.
23
00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,758
I'll see you in CT, Jackie D.
24
00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:53,761
What's that about?
25
00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:55,072
I've invited him to join me
26
00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:56,936
at a GE charity golf tournament
in Connecticut.
27
00:00:57,056 --> 00:00:58,933
Was Courtney Love not available?
28
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:00,505
Liz, all the VPs will be angling
29
00:01:00,726 --> 00:01:01,936
to golf with Don Geiss,
30
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:02,937
but my partner
will be Tracy Jordan,
31
00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:04,789
his grandchildren's
favorite movie star.
32
00:01:04,855 --> 00:01:06,399
Geiss will absolutely choose us,
33
00:01:06,691 --> 00:01:07,751
and that's a big deal because
34
00:01:07,775 --> 00:01:09,318
being in a foursome
with this man
35
00:01:09,610 --> 00:01:10,778
can change your life.
36
00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:12,350
You might want to rephrase that.
37
00:01:12,613 --> 00:01:14,490
Golf with Geiss means
four hours of face time
38
00:01:14,782 --> 00:01:16,677
with a man you normally
only get 20 minutes with.
39
00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:18,286
Which one is Geiss again,
the bald one?
40
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:21,414
No.
That one.
41
00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:22,706
Where did that come from?
42
00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:24,709
I painted it myself.
43
00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:27,211
Wow, that's really good.
44
00:01:27,503 --> 00:01:30,298
You want one?
Consider it done.
45
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,633
Thanks.
46
00:01:36,929 --> 00:01:38,472
♪ Simply the best ♪
47
00:01:43,394 --> 00:01:49,233
♪♪
48
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:03,372
Did anybody see Condoleezza
on Meet the Press yesterday?
49
00:02:03,664 --> 00:02:05,625
She always sounds so terrified.
50
00:02:05,916 --> 00:02:06,916
She's always, like,
51
00:02:07,084 --> 00:02:09,211
The
President has a plan for Iran,
52
00:02:09,503 --> 00:02:11,183
and we are currently adhering
to that plan.
53
00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:15,051
Hey, Frank, wake up.
54
00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:17,279
You're not allowed to sleep
through the topical meeting.
55
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:18,596
Dude, I'm exhausted.
56
00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:21,390
I stayed up all night watching
a Designing Women marathon.
57
00:02:21,682 --> 00:02:22,224
Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah, me too.
58
00:02:22,516 --> 00:02:25,102
At first, I hated it.
And then I liked it.
59
00:02:25,394 --> 00:02:26,562
And then I hated it again.
60
00:02:26,854 --> 00:02:28,481
And then I got horny,
61
00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:29,357
and then I fell asleep.
62
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:32,068
Well, focus up, we have
a lot of work to do.
63
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:35,270
Lutz, not while we're working!
64
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:37,490
Ay, pero ay Dios mio!
65
00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:40,576
Oh, I'm sorry Theresa.
66
00:02:40,868 --> 00:02:42,161
I'm sorry.
67
00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:45,206
Okay, maybe something about
the mid-term elections?
68
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:48,000
Hey, what about my Dancing
with the Hobo sketch?
69
00:02:48,292 --> 00:02:50,044
I didn't like it two weeks ago
70
00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:52,016
when it was called
America's Next Top Hobo,
71
00:02:52,254 --> 00:02:53,547
and I didn't like it
a month ago,
72
00:02:53,839 --> 00:02:55,759
when it was called
Hobo Eye for the Straight Guy.
73
00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:57,426
Deal or No Hobo?
74
00:02:57,718 --> 00:02:59,358
Hey, Lutz, why don't you
approach your job
75
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:01,032
with the same creativity
and excitement
76
00:03:01,263 --> 00:03:02,366
you have for
all-you-can-eat buffets?
77
00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:06,477
Ooh. Ooh.
78
00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:08,449
Okay, the van to take you
up to Connecticut
79
00:03:08,562 --> 00:03:09,605
will be leaving at noon.
80
00:03:09,897 --> 00:03:10,957
And once you get up
to the golf course,
81
00:03:10,981 --> 00:03:12,525
you'll be working in pairs.
82
00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:13,317
So, Tim and Shyla,
83
00:03:13,609 --> 00:03:15,152
Amy and Becca,
84
00:03:15,444 --> 00:03:18,155
Kenneth and Grace,
and Eric and Pat.
85
00:03:18,447 --> 00:03:21,200
Okay, have fun.
Don't get drunk.
86
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:22,492
Buddy up.
87
00:03:22,618 --> 00:03:24,120
Mr. Hornberger.
Yeah?
88
00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:26,205
Grace and I cannot
work together.
89
00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:29,166
Why not?
We have a past.
90
00:03:29,458 --> 00:03:31,001
A romantic past.
91
00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:34,715
Well, Grace, it's been
a pleasure talking to you.
92
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:38,467
Grace Park!
93
00:03:38,759 --> 00:03:40,302
You know this can't happen.
94
00:03:40,594 --> 00:03:42,471
We're pages.
95
00:03:42,763 --> 00:03:45,349
I just don't want to
disgrace the peacock.
96
00:03:45,641 --> 00:03:46,641
Oh, Kenneth,
97
00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:48,310
if you're worried
about disgracing
98
00:03:48,602 --> 00:03:50,229
the National
Broadcasting Company,
99
00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:51,521
you're too late.
100
00:03:54,692 --> 00:04:02,491
♪♪
101
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,168
Look, Grace, this is obviously
102
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,003
incredibly awkward
for both of us,
103
00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:15,775
but let's just try
to be professional.
104
00:04:17,339 --> 00:04:19,675
Your peacock earrings look nice.
105
00:04:19,967 --> 00:04:22,011
Doggone it, Grace,
106
00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:24,638
I just don't know myself
around you.
107
00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:26,307
Hello, gentlemen.
108
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:27,679
Welcome to the ninth annual
109
00:04:27,808 --> 00:04:28,869
Cure Diabetes Now
golf tournament.
110
00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:30,019
Has Don Geiss arrived yet?
111
00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:32,104
No, sir, but if you'd like,
112
00:04:32,396 --> 00:04:33,063
we could work out a signal,
113
00:04:33,355 --> 00:04:34,833
so I could let you know
when he does arrive.
114
00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:36,025
Like...
115
00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:37,735
That won't be necessary.
116
00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:39,487
I'll probably just do it anyway.
117
00:04:42,531 --> 00:04:43,592
That cold open
you guys wrote last night
118
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:44,241
came out really good.
119
00:04:44,533 --> 00:04:45,242
Oh, thanks.
120
00:04:45,534 --> 00:04:46,577
It was like pulling teeth.
121
00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:48,245
They're so lazy sometimes.
122
00:04:48,537 --> 00:04:49,537
Especially Lutz.
123
00:04:49,705 --> 00:04:50,932
Well, good job
whipping 'em into shape.
124
00:04:50,956 --> 00:04:52,666
That thing is really smart.
125
00:04:52,958 --> 00:04:54,198
Now, when Dennis Hastert farts,
126
00:04:54,376 --> 00:04:55,604
should that be live,
or pre-recorded? Live.
127
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:56,170
It has to be live
for the timing.
128
00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:58,339
I thought so too.
129
00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:02,134
Look at these guys.
Yeah.
130
00:05:02,426 --> 00:05:04,345
They like you.
131
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:06,281
They're very good at sensing
debilitating loneliness
132
00:05:06,305 --> 00:05:07,515
in a person.
133
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,016
Maybe you ought to adopt one.
134
00:05:09,308 --> 00:05:09,934
Oh, I can't.
135
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:12,353
I'm allergic to anything
warm and adorable.
136
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:14,104
I'm sick of it.
137
00:05:14,396 --> 00:05:16,156
I'm doing my job,
and she just shoots me down
138
00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:16,982
in front of everybody.
139
00:05:17,274 --> 00:05:18,943
I don't care if she's the boss,
140
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,736
Liz is a grade-A...
141
00:05:21,028 --> 00:05:22,488
Runt!
What?
142
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:25,032
This kitten, he's such a runt!
143
00:05:25,324 --> 00:05:27,326
I'm gonna name you Runty.
144
00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:29,537
You're such a little raging
little runt!
145
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:31,413
Come on, Runty.
146
00:05:31,705 --> 00:05:32,998
Come on.
147
00:05:36,377 --> 00:05:37,461
Jack, how are you?
148
00:05:37,753 --> 00:05:39,171
Ted, Amanda, SO nice to see you.
149
00:05:39,463 --> 00:05:40,463
Hello.
150
00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:42,049
This is Tracy Jordan.
151
00:05:42,341 --> 00:05:44,027
Ted here is the head of our
commercial aviation division.
152
00:05:44,051 --> 00:05:46,136
You need to hook me up
with one of them helicopters.
153
00:05:46,428 --> 00:05:47,429
Absolutely.
154
00:05:47,721 --> 00:05:49,115
I'd be happy to arrange
for you to take a ride.
155
00:05:49,139 --> 00:05:50,432
No, I don't want to get in it.
156
00:05:50,724 --> 00:05:51,993
I want to blow it up
and run away from it
157
00:05:52,017 --> 00:05:53,017
in slow motion.
158
00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:58,065
Pleasure to have met you.
159
00:05:58,357 --> 00:06:01,193
Damn straight.
I'm delightful.
160
00:06:01,485 --> 00:06:03,529
You're doing great.
Everybody loves you.
161
00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:04,822
On season five,
162
00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:07,074
when Delta was really
packin' it on...
163
00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:09,535
Glorious.
164
00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:10,827
We need to fire Lutz.
165
00:06:11,036 --> 00:06:12,036
Why, what happened?
166
00:06:12,079 --> 00:06:13,956
He called me
the worst name ever.
167
00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:15,248
What did he call you?
168
00:06:15,374 --> 00:06:16,374
I'm not gonna repeat it.
169
00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:17,457
That's how much I hate it.
170
00:06:17,501 --> 00:06:18,501
Fat can?
171
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:19,711
Mouth hooker?
172
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:20,959
Monster bitch.
Hatchet face.
173
00:06:21,046 --> 00:06:22,046
No!
174
00:06:22,256 --> 00:06:23,632
The one the rhymes with the name
175
00:06:23,924 --> 00:06:25,467
of your favorite
Todd Rundgren album.
176
00:06:25,759 --> 00:06:28,679
It rhymes with
Hermit of Mink Hollow?
177
00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:30,097
No!
178
00:06:30,389 --> 00:06:31,389
Oh.
179
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:32,557
Oh boy.
180
00:06:32,641 --> 00:06:33,869
Well, you know, he was probably
181
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,227
just blowing off steam.
182
00:06:35,519 --> 00:06:36,621
You can't fire a guy
for cursing.
183
00:06:36,645 --> 00:06:37,855
I'm not upset about cursing.
184
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:41,191
I mean, I love cursing.
I love it.
185
00:06:41,483 --> 00:06:43,444
But this word is not acceptable
186
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:46,363
because there's nothing
you can call a guy back.
187
00:06:46,655 --> 00:06:48,616
There is no male equivalent
to this word.
188
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:50,268
Well, why don't we
come up with one
189
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:52,036
and then you can call him that?
190
00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:53,746
Like... monkus.
191
00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:55,038
Fungdark.
192
00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:57,458
No, I'm serious, you guys.
193
00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:58,375
You're just
in reaction right now.
194
00:06:58,667 --> 00:06:59,376
You need to just
take a few hours
195
00:06:59,668 --> 00:07:00,668
and calm down.
196
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:02,796
Don't tell me to calm down
you fungdark.
197
00:07:03,088 --> 00:07:05,549
Yeah, you're right.
It doesn't work.
198
00:07:05,841 --> 00:07:08,052
I don't know, I think
Liz is right about this.
199
00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:09,664
Lutz has been
totally slacking off
200
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,347
since his grandma died.
201
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:13,057
What?
Why didn't you guys tell me?
202
00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:16,018
I thought you knew
and you were just being a...
203
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:17,710
You know, that word
Lutz called you.
204
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:20,564
Wait, are you saying that
I am like that sometimes?
205
00:07:20,856 --> 00:07:21,982
Um...
Um...
206
00:07:22,274 --> 00:07:24,354
And they thought my sister
couldn't even have a baby,
207
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:25,611
so she's really excited.
208
00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:28,197
Oh, he's adorable.
209
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:31,200
Okay, we're at the bottom
of page two.
210
00:07:34,411 --> 00:07:36,747
Hey, look everybody
Sherlock Homo is here
211
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:38,540
to solve the case
of the gay sweater.
212
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:46,966
I'm telling you guys...
213
00:07:47,257 --> 00:07:48,977
watching that isn't gonna
get us out of here
214
00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:50,218
any faster.
215
00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:55,391
Oh, my God, I am.
216
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:56,767
I'm a total...
Runt!
217
00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,936
Runt!
218
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:00,354
I lost my kitten.
219
00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:01,646
Has anyone seen my runt?
220
00:08:01,897 --> 00:08:02,897
Runt!
221
00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:04,233
Runt!
222
00:08:06,276 --> 00:08:07,837
Bringing Tracy Jordan
was a smart move, Jack.
223
00:08:07,861 --> 00:08:08,570
He's the hit of the party.
224
00:08:08,862 --> 00:08:10,656
You got that right, my friend.
225
00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:12,759
Tomorrow I'm gonna be in
an intense six hour foursome
226
00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:13,826
with three other men
227
00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:14,660
And one of them
will be Don Geiss
228
00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:17,997
and he's gonna get
all of my attention.
229
00:08:18,288 --> 00:08:19,888
And you're just gonna
sit back and watch.
230
00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:27,464
Would you excuse me?
231
00:08:27,756 --> 00:08:29,526
You know the army's
been messing with the sun.
232
00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,093
That's why I keep
my junk covered.
233
00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:33,220
Once that stuff
get in your hang, you're done.
234
00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:35,556
Would you excuse us
for a moment, please?
235
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:37,266
What's going on?
It's game time.
236
00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:39,601
Jack, you handsome son of a gun!
237
00:08:39,893 --> 00:08:41,371
This guy gets younger
every time I see him!
238
00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:43,105
No, you're the one.
239
00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:45,524
Oh, hair like a Viking.
God bless you.
240
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:47,656
Don, I want you
to meet my friend Tracy Jordan.
241
00:08:47,901 --> 00:08:51,030
Tracy Jordan.
This is exciting.
242
00:08:51,321 --> 00:08:54,033
My grandchildren
just love your movies.
243
00:08:54,324 --> 00:08:55,604
Thank you so much for being here
244
00:08:55,784 --> 00:08:57,244
and supporting
diabetes research.
245
00:08:57,536 --> 00:08:58,536
Hey, I feel you.
246
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:00,456
Messed up sugar
runs in my family too.
247
00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:03,625
So, how's your short game?
248
00:09:03,917 --> 00:09:04,626
You'll find out tomorrow.
249
00:09:04,918 --> 00:09:07,921
This guys spends so much time
in the sand
250
00:09:08,213 --> 00:09:09,715
that his nickname
should be Falu-ser.
251
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:11,883
That's humorous.
252
00:09:12,092 --> 00:09:13,903
Hey, how come you don't hire
more black people around here?
253
00:09:13,927 --> 00:09:15,429
Beg your pardon?
254
00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:17,598
How come there's no
black people here?
255
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:19,433
Black people
can't make light bulbs?
256
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:22,019
No, actually we have
an award winning
257
00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:24,104
diversity program.
258
00:09:24,396 --> 00:09:27,649
How come there's just me
and Carlton over there?
259
00:09:27,941 --> 00:09:29,318
I believe Tracy's referring to
260
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:31,653
Carlton,
the straight laced brother
261
00:09:31,945 --> 00:09:33,825
from Fresh Prince of Bel Air,
1990 through 1996.
262
00:09:33,947 --> 00:09:36,283
On NBC.
263
00:09:36,575 --> 00:09:38,660
Are we having fun or what?
264
00:09:38,952 --> 00:09:42,456
My associate's name
is Francis Callier.
265
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:45,584
And he's a lawyer.
Excuse me.
266
00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:00,950
So what time does this
golf thing
267
00:10:00,974 --> 00:10:03,352
kick off tomorrow?
268
00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:05,270
It doesn't matter now, Tracy.
269
00:10:05,562 --> 00:10:07,689
We're not in Geiss' foursome,
thanks to you.
270
00:10:07,981 --> 00:10:09,024
What?
271
00:10:09,316 --> 00:10:10,335
I can't help it if he got mad.
272
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:11,610
You know me.
273
00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:13,213
I'm gonna say
what's on my mind, Jack.
274
00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:15,030
No, not in here you don't.
275
00:10:15,322 --> 00:10:16,800
I wanted you
to entertain these people,
276
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:17,842
not publicly humiliate them.
277
00:10:17,866 --> 00:10:20,202
I'm supposed to just
be a funny black man
278
00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:21,494
who says funny things.
279
00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:23,264
No, I wanted you to discuss
your astounding
280
00:10:23,288 --> 00:10:24,331
medical breakthroughs.
281
00:10:24,623 --> 00:10:25,707
Okay.
282
00:10:25,999 --> 00:10:27,835
Bartender, could you bring me
a Mustang Melon
283
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:28,752
and a bag
of barbeque potato chips?
284
00:10:29,044 --> 00:10:31,547
'Cause apparently I'm only here
to be a stereotype.
285
00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:33,149
Would you keep your voice down,
please?
286
00:10:33,173 --> 00:10:34,333
You're embarrassing yourself.
287
00:10:34,424 --> 00:10:35,485
No, I'm not embarrassing myself,
288
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:36,509
I'm embarrassing you.
289
00:10:36,635 --> 00:10:37,635
And guess what, Jack?
290
00:10:37,886 --> 00:10:39,429
I'm just getting started.
291
00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:46,145
Son, I wasn't joking
about those chips.
292
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,023
Hey hey hey.
293
00:10:50,315 --> 00:10:51,595
What do you wanna do about Lutz?
294
00:10:51,733 --> 00:10:53,026
Should I call him
into my office?
295
00:10:53,318 --> 00:10:55,070
I think we should wait on that.
296
00:10:55,362 --> 00:10:56,572
Really? Okay.
Whatcha got?
297
00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:57,990
A-ha!
298
00:10:58,282 --> 00:10:59,908
I made something
for the writers.
299
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,243
Brisket!
300
00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:02,615
No, it's two dozen cupcakes
301
00:11:02,786 --> 00:11:04,454
with melted mini-candy bars
in the middle.
302
00:11:04,746 --> 00:11:06,456
Mmm.
Oh, I get it.
303
00:11:06,748 --> 00:11:08,560
You're trying to be nice now
'cause of what Lutz said.
304
00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:10,460
No, I'm not trying to be nice.
305
00:11:10,752 --> 00:11:12,254
I am nice.
306
00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:15,549
I'm a nice person
you bald, gangly...
307
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,217
I'm gonna try harder.
308
00:11:17,509 --> 00:11:19,011
I'm gonna try and be nice.
309
00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:30,105
I sure hope Mr. Jack
plays his game good today.
310
00:11:30,397 --> 00:11:32,941
Otherwise he whups my ass
right well when we get home.
311
00:11:33,233 --> 00:11:34,735
Ain't that right, Mr. Jack?
312
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:36,627
You know, Ted, Kenneth here
is one of our
313
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:37,817
most promising young pages.
314
00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:38,530
He knows everything
there is to know
315
00:11:38,822 --> 00:11:39,822
about the business.
316
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:41,491
I studied TV theory
317
00:11:41,783 --> 00:11:43,660
at Kentucky Mountain
Bible College.
318
00:11:43,952 --> 00:11:45,889
I studied fried chicken
at the school of hard knocks.
319
00:11:45,913 --> 00:11:47,289
Ain't that right,
Mr. Jack?
320
00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:48,999
You still here?
321
00:11:49,291 --> 00:11:51,126
I'm ridiculous.
I'm black!
322
00:11:51,418 --> 00:11:53,045
I may even be ugly.
323
00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:54,337
But dear God...
324
00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:57,090
I'm here!!
I'm here!!
325
00:11:57,382 --> 00:11:59,218
And nothing but them
can keep me from it!
326
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:13,232
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
327
00:12:13,523 --> 00:12:14,149
I thought I turned it off.
328
00:12:14,441 --> 00:12:17,152
No, Cooper, take the call.
I mean, come on.
329
00:12:17,444 --> 00:12:18,612
This isn't Hitler's bunker.
330
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:19,944
That would make me Hitler.
331
00:12:22,574 --> 00:12:24,117
What?
This is the new me.
332
00:12:24,409 --> 00:12:25,410
Do you like the new me?
333
00:12:26,828 --> 00:12:30,123
Before you answer, superballs!
334
00:12:30,415 --> 00:12:31,083
Awesome!
335
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:33,168
What a fun boss you have, right?
336
00:12:36,421 --> 00:12:38,674
Would you like me
to do a tap dance for you
337
00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:41,009
and your big time friends,
Mr. Jack?
338
00:12:41,301 --> 00:12:42,741
Or I could run around
while y'all are
339
00:12:43,011 --> 00:12:43,679
throwing rocks at me.
340
00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:46,515
Kenneth, play this hole
for me, would you?
341
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:49,226
Come with me.
342
00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:52,395
What are you doing?
343
00:12:52,604 --> 00:12:53,604
Payback.
344
00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:55,190
The way you treated me.
You used me.
345
00:12:55,482 --> 00:12:57,484
God, it's like dating
Katie Couric all over again.
346
00:12:57,776 --> 00:12:59,295
I didn't use you.
I created a situation
347
00:12:59,319 --> 00:13:00,028
that could have been
mutually beneficial,
348
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:01,320
and you blew it.
349
00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:02,643
If you can't handle
Tracy Jordan,
350
00:13:02,906 --> 00:13:05,075
don't invite Tracy Jordan.
351
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:06,847
This is what I do.
I drop truth bombs.
352
00:13:06,910 --> 00:13:09,454
I don't care about Don Geiss!
353
00:13:09,746 --> 00:13:11,164
I'm a movie star!
354
00:13:11,456 --> 00:13:12,124
Oh, my.
355
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:14,584
No, no.
You were a movie star.
356
00:13:14,876 --> 00:13:16,116
You haven't gotten a movie made
357
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:17,695
in over two years,
and you know why?
358
00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:18,922
Because of your truth bombs.
359
00:13:19,214 --> 00:13:20,358
Remind me, Tracy,
what did you tell
360
00:13:20,382 --> 00:13:21,008
the president
of Warner Brothers?
361
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:22,340
Told him he could suck it.
362
00:13:22,467 --> 00:13:22,968
And the president of Paramount?
363
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:25,304
Told her she could
kiss my delicious ass.
364
00:13:25,595 --> 00:13:26,781
And how's that working for you?
365
00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:28,348
Yeah, I thought so.
366
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,393
Hey, why don't you
play the game with me?
367
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:33,562
Like it or not,
guys like Geiss run everything,
368
00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:34,563
including movie studios.
369
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,695
And we could be playing golf
with him right now
370
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:37,441
instead of Ted, who's best known
371
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,085
for getting caught
using a corporate credit card
372
00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:41,278
at a gay strip club.
373
00:13:42,946 --> 00:13:44,072
I'm sorry, Amanda,
374
00:13:44,364 --> 00:13:46,408
you were bound
to find that out eventually.
375
00:13:56,626 --> 00:13:57,626
Where is everybody?
376
00:13:57,753 --> 00:13:59,504
Oh, they all
had personal problems
377
00:13:59,796 --> 00:14:00,796
they had to take care of.
378
00:14:00,922 --> 00:14:01,548
Go, go.
379
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,425
If I thought I left
my coffeemaker on,
380
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:04,736
I wouldn't be able
to focus either.
381
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,928
No, no, I get it.
382
00:14:07,220 --> 00:14:09,348
Everyone should see
Mama Mia before it closes.
383
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:11,975
What kind of sinus stuff?
384
00:14:12,267 --> 00:14:14,519
I'm just having
some weird sinus stuff.
385
00:14:14,811 --> 00:14:16,521
Okay.
Go home.
386
00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:20,150
Then I sent Lutz and Frank out
387
00:14:20,442 --> 00:14:22,282
to get us some pizzas
and they never came back.
388
00:14:22,569 --> 00:14:23,921
So you're finishing up
everyone's re-writes
389
00:14:23,945 --> 00:14:25,280
by yourself?
That's not right.
390
00:14:25,572 --> 00:14:27,612
Yes, but at least I know
that nobody hates me today.
391
00:14:27,657 --> 00:14:29,618
You think Jack Donagee
sits up there
392
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:32,030
and worries if people
are saying bad things about him?
393
00:14:32,245 --> 00:14:33,288
It's different for women.
394
00:14:33,580 --> 00:14:33,955
I don't think it is.
395
00:14:34,247 --> 00:14:36,124
Sometimes
people hate their bosses.
396
00:14:36,416 --> 00:14:37,459
Big deal.
397
00:14:37,751 --> 00:14:38,293
But you gotta
stick up for yourself.
398
00:14:38,585 --> 00:14:40,087
Because if you don't...
399
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,589
they'll take advantage of you.
400
00:14:45,425 --> 00:14:46,968
Oh, hey, could I borrow
60 bucks?
401
00:14:47,260 --> 00:14:49,304
I'm going to meet
Frank and Lutz at Scores.
402
00:14:55,560 --> 00:15:00,023
So I founded the Don Geiss
Diabetes Research Foundation
403
00:15:00,315 --> 00:15:03,193
which is why
you're all here tonight.
404
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:05,320
Gwen and I really hope
you'll be as generous
405
00:15:05,612 --> 00:15:07,322
with your checkbooks as you were
406
00:15:07,614 --> 00:15:11,410
on the links today
with your score-keeping.
407
00:15:11,701 --> 00:15:13,161
Thank you.
408
00:15:17,582 --> 00:15:19,126
What's he doing?
409
00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:21,920
Excuse me!
410
00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:23,922
I know I wasn't
asked to say anything,
411
00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:26,258
but I would like to
share my experience with you.
412
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,093
When my daughter Shahita
was born,
413
00:15:28,385 --> 00:15:29,445
she had chubby arms and legs
414
00:15:29,469 --> 00:15:30,137
and a big bald head.
415
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:33,432
She looked like
my Uncle Rupert in a diaper.
416
00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:37,870
By the time she was five,
she was 87 pounds.
417
00:15:37,894 --> 00:15:40,188
I mean, she could eat!
418
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:41,648
But then, when was around
419
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:43,108
eight years old...
420
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:44,526
ll remember it was Easter.
421
00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:46,695
We stayed up all night
the night before
422
00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:50,657
watching bible movies
and eating Fiddle Faddle.
423
00:15:50,949 --> 00:15:53,368
I remember the next day,
Easter Sunday,
424
00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:54,369
she threw up right in the middle
425
00:15:54,661 --> 00:15:57,247
of the Jaguar dealership.
426
00:15:57,539 --> 00:15:59,249
She was mad sick.
427
00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:04,212
And I carried her all the way
to St. Luke's Roosevelt.
428
00:16:04,504 --> 00:16:07,674
The doctor said
she had diabetes.
429
00:16:07,966 --> 00:16:10,343
I get very upset
because I think I was the cause
430
00:16:10,635 --> 00:16:12,512
of that due to my ignorance
of nutrition.
431
00:16:12,804 --> 00:16:16,558
And I promised Sha that night...
432
00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:17,850
that I was gonna dedicate
433
00:16:17,934 --> 00:16:22,272
all my efforts
to raise awareness...
434
00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:23,732
and finding a cure.
435
00:16:25,817 --> 00:16:28,069
And I just hope that
all of you will join me.
436
00:16:28,361 --> 00:16:29,361
Thank you.
437
00:16:39,372 --> 00:16:42,626
Unbelievable!
Record donations.
438
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:44,920
I can't thank you enough.
439
00:16:45,212 --> 00:16:48,006
Jack, I'm gonna be on
the Vineyard next month.
440
00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:49,578
I want you and Tracy to come up,
441
00:16:49,799 --> 00:16:50,818
and we'll talk about getting you
442
00:16:50,842 --> 00:16:51,922
back in the movie business.
443
00:16:51,968 --> 00:16:53,011
I'll set that up, sir.
444
00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:54,012
Okay.
445
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:56,014
Tracy, bring your daughter.
446
00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:57,306
That's a deal.
447
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,642
Thanks again.
448
00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:00,185
Congratulations, Tracy.
449
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:03,313
And welcome to
the grown up world.
450
00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:09,277
Yeah.
I don't have a daughter.
451
00:17:09,569 --> 00:17:12,280
Let's have a casting session
on Monday.
452
00:17:23,458 --> 00:17:26,211
Grace...
453
00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,296
There is something
that I must say to you.
454
00:17:28,588 --> 00:17:31,007
But my words cannot suffice.
455
00:17:31,299 --> 00:17:33,927
So to quote
Mr. Jerry McGuire...
456
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,680
you make me a complete person.
457
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:39,683
When you said hello, you had me.
458
00:17:43,311 --> 00:17:45,188
My wife needs her sweater.
459
00:17:47,190 --> 00:17:48,191
Ow!
Yes, sir!
460
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,123
You're watching
the Designing Women Marathon
461
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:53,863
on Nick at Nite.
462
00:17:54,155 --> 00:17:55,949
Sir, you may be right.
463
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,660
I may be not capable
of understanding
464
00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:01,371
normal thinking
because I think a woman
465
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:03,039
ls just as powerful as a man.
466
00:18:03,331 --> 00:18:05,625
And until you learn
to respect me,
467
00:18:05,917 --> 00:18:07,437
you better learn
to stay out of my way.
468
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:09,087
'Cause this is my house.
469
00:18:12,799 --> 00:18:14,426
This is my house.
470
00:18:20,223 --> 00:18:21,223
Staying up all night
471
00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:24,519
re-writing The Amazing Hobo.
472
00:18:24,811 --> 00:18:26,896
You fat nerd.
473
00:18:27,188 --> 00:18:28,188
Good morning, Lemon.
474
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:29,482
Hey, Jack, come on!
475
00:18:29,774 --> 00:18:30,774
You stay up all night?
476
00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:34,946
How can you tell?
477
00:18:35,238 --> 00:18:37,240
This is the men's room.
478
00:18:37,532 --> 00:18:39,075
Oh!
479
00:18:41,786 --> 00:18:43,038
Did you win your golf parade?
480
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:44,330
Even better.
481
00:18:44,539 --> 00:18:45,539
Next weekend Tracy and I
482
00:18:45,665 --> 00:18:48,627
are gonna double team Don Geiss
with our big ideas.
483
00:18:48,918 --> 00:18:49,586
You're so weird.
484
00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:51,087
Now get out of here.
485
00:18:51,379 --> 00:18:52,964
I have to yell at my staff.
486
00:18:53,256 --> 00:18:56,301
Because I'm not just feminine,
I also can project my power.
487
00:18:58,678 --> 00:19:00,238
Hey, it's Nancy McKeon's
birthday today.
488
00:19:02,557 --> 00:19:03,677
Didn't you bake us anything?
489
00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:08,831
Hey, I thought you were
gonna being snicker-doodles in.
490
00:19:08,855 --> 00:19:09,522
That's the only reason
I showed up.
491
00:19:09,814 --> 00:19:11,374
I mean, you can't
promise snickerdoodles
492
00:19:11,524 --> 00:19:12,776
and then not bring any.
493
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:15,070
That's not cool.
494
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:18,323
Listen up, everybody.
Listen to me.
495
00:19:18,615 --> 00:19:19,115
Listen!
496
00:19:19,407 --> 00:19:20,407
Shh shh shh shh shh.
497
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:23,203
There will be
no more baked goods.
498
00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:24,704
No more walking all over me.
499
00:19:24,996 --> 00:19:27,499
I was here all night
doing your work.
500
00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:29,292
But at 3:30 this morning,
501
00:19:29,584 --> 00:19:32,921
I happened to see this episode
of Designing Women.
502
00:19:33,213 --> 00:19:35,298
And when it came on again
at 5:30,
503
00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:37,175
I taped it.
504
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:39,844
And I want you all to watch
very closely.
505
00:19:40,136 --> 00:19:41,596
Because it sums up so perfectly
506
00:19:41,888 --> 00:19:44,099
what I wanna say to you.
507
00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:48,561
What do I hit, input?
508
00:19:48,853 --> 00:19:49,853
Is there a TV/VCR button?
509
00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:51,439
What is aux?
510
00:19:51,731 --> 00:19:52,774
Hey, can I go now?
511
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:54,943
Hang on.
I want your full attention!
512
00:19:58,863 --> 00:20:02,450
Why is it making that noise?
513
00:20:02,742 --> 00:20:04,953
Ugh.
514
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:08,081
Okay, never mind.
515
00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:12,168
But I want to say something
to all of you.
516
00:20:12,460 --> 00:20:13,545
I am the boss here.
517
00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:15,597
And sometimes that's gonna
make me unpopular.
518
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:17,549
But the point is...
519
00:20:17,841 --> 00:20:20,844
I know what you called me, Lutz.
520
00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:25,390
Oh.
I'm sorry that I said that.
521
00:20:25,682 --> 00:20:27,517
Please don't make me
move back to Alaska, Liz.
522
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:28,809
I hate it there.
523
00:20:28,935 --> 00:20:31,020
You can stay.
524
00:20:31,312 --> 00:20:32,689
But if you ever...
525
00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:36,735
If any of you ever call me
that horrible word again,
526
00:20:37,026 --> 00:20:38,111
I will fire you.
527
00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:39,654
And you will never alter drapes
528
00:20:39,946 --> 00:20:41,030
in Atlanta again.
529
00:20:41,322 --> 00:20:46,494
Because you do not cross
a Sugarbaker woman!
530
00:20:46,786 --> 00:20:48,037
I'm so tired.
531
00:20:48,329 --> 00:20:51,249
I'm so tired, you guys.
532
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:00,299
All right, champ.
533
00:21:01,801 --> 00:21:03,136
It's nonny time.
36918
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