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00:00:02,585 --> 00:00:03,711
All right, we have a lot
2
00:00:04,003 --> 00:00:06,130
to get through today, you guys.
3
00:00:06,422 --> 00:00:08,549
Anybody have anything
on page one?
4
00:00:08,841 --> 00:00:12,803
I think we need to change
this Donald Trump joke...
5
00:00:14,555 --> 00:00:18,434
Because Donald Trump was
eaten by a lion this morning
6
00:00:18,726 --> 00:00:21,395
on the International
Space Station.
7
00:00:21,687 --> 00:00:24,148
Anyone listening?
8
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:25,440
Yeah, okay, Cerie,
9
00:00:25,691 --> 00:00:27,211
how about instead of
doing the scripts,
10
00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:29,004
why don't you just
organize those videotapes?
11
00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:31,155
Oh, okay.
12
00:00:36,577 --> 00:00:39,247
Okay, actually,
could you go downstairs
13
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:40,539
and get me a chai tea?
14
00:00:40,748 --> 00:00:41,748
Okay.
15
00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:43,793
Um, where are my shoes?
16
00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:48,673
No, no, just go.
Just go barefoot!
17
00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:51,425
Just leave you shoes.
Okay.
18
00:00:54,762 --> 00:00:58,140
We gotta change this Trump joke.
19
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:09,235
♪♪
20
00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:22,748
Mr. Jordan.
What's up, Ken?
21
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:24,226
I got your car washed
like you asked.
22
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,085
And I got that "Baby on Board"
sign you wanted
23
00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:27,044
to help you get tail.
24
00:01:27,336 --> 00:01:29,839
Thanks, Ken.
You done good.
25
00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:31,400
It's my pleasure
and my job, sir.
26
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:32,704
Anything you ever need,
just ask.
27
00:01:32,925 --> 00:01:34,719
But I want you
to know something.
28
00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:37,847
You and me, it's not
gonna be a one-way street.
29
00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:39,974
'Cause I don't believe
in one-way streets.
30
00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:43,603
Not between people
and not while I'm driving.
31
00:01:43,894 --> 00:01:45,855
Oh, okay.
32
00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:47,457
So here's some advice
I wish I would've got
33
00:01:47,481 --> 00:01:48,816
when I was your age.
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00:01:49,108 --> 00:01:52,903
Live every week
like it's Shark Week.
35
00:01:56,490 --> 00:01:57,533
Excellent call, guys.
36
00:01:57,825 --> 00:01:59,344
Good old Stan there.
Happy Birthday, Stan.
37
00:01:59,368 --> 00:02:01,537
All right, we're halfway done.
38
00:02:01,829 --> 00:02:03,080
Let's take a little break.
39
00:02:03,372 --> 00:02:05,499
You guys want to have
a one-minute dance party?
40
00:02:05,791 --> 00:02:06,876
Good idea.
41
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,544
Crank it Toofer.
42
00:02:08,836 --> 00:02:12,048
♪ Grown and sexy from your head
down to your toes ♪
43
00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:14,717
♪ You know you're fine ♪
44
00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:17,345
♪ Got that perfect face,
a perfect shape ♪
45
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:18,637
♪ And perfect smile... ♪
46
00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:19,921
Yeah, shake it!
Feel the music.
47
00:02:19,972 --> 00:02:21,140
Ahem!
48
00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:22,600
Oh, Mr. Donaghy!
49
00:02:23,934 --> 00:02:26,562
No, please...
finish your dance.
50
00:02:26,854 --> 00:02:28,040
Oh, we were just
taking a little break.
51
00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:31,442
And we all love the music
of Chamillionaire.
52
00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:32,734
I see.
53
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:35,696
If you don't mind, I'll just
observe from over here.
54
00:02:35,988 --> 00:02:38,240
You will?
Why?
55
00:02:38,532 --> 00:02:39,992
Are you familiar with Six Sigma?
56
00:02:40,284 --> 00:02:43,204
Oh, yeah, it's a special
kind of G.I. Joe.
57
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,289
It's Frank, right?
58
00:02:45,581 --> 00:02:46,707
Yes, sir.
59
00:02:46,999 --> 00:02:48,417
Yeah.
Frank...
60
00:02:48,709 --> 00:02:52,213
Six Sigma is the elite
GE executive training course.
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00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:55,007
To master just
its basic concepts,
62
00:02:55,299 --> 00:02:57,885
one must brave a five-day
conference at a Sheraton.
63
00:02:58,177 --> 00:02:59,553
Six Sigma says that a manager
64
00:02:59,845 --> 00:03:01,263
must understand every aspect
65
00:03:01,555 --> 00:03:02,932
of the business
he or she oversees.
66
00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:04,266
Which means?
67
00:03:04,558 --> 00:03:06,352
I'll be in here every day.
68
00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:07,644
Soaking it up.
69
00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:09,271
So please return to work,
70
00:03:09,563 --> 00:03:11,899
and act like I'm not here.
71
00:03:15,903 --> 00:03:17,571
Okay.
72
00:03:17,863 --> 00:03:20,616
Let's, uh, get into
Toofer's commercial parody.
73
00:03:20,908 --> 00:03:23,744
We were trying to think
of a funnier cereal name.
74
00:03:24,036 --> 00:03:26,455
The favorite options
so far include
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00:03:26,747 --> 00:03:27,832
Honey Bunches of Sadness,
76
00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:29,583
Oat Bung,
77
00:03:29,875 --> 00:03:32,461
and Swaztik-o's.
78
00:03:32,753 --> 00:03:33,462
Fruit Lupus.
79
00:03:33,754 --> 00:03:34,463
No.
80
00:03:34,755 --> 00:03:36,215
Dingleberries.
81
00:03:36,507 --> 00:03:38,342
Fart Nuggets.
82
00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,639
I'm sorry.
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00:03:43,931 --> 00:03:45,266
That's really great.
84
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:47,601
Okay, let's just think
for another minute.
85
00:03:47,893 --> 00:03:50,563
Frosted Mini Guns.
86
00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:52,982
Lucky Bastards?
87
00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:53,649
If you don't mind, I think
88
00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:55,463
we all really laughed
at Fart Nuggets,
89
00:03:55,693 --> 00:03:57,945
so could we just
move on, please.
90
00:03:58,237 --> 00:04:00,656
Every day, huh?
91
00:04:00,948 --> 00:04:03,200
You guys want coffee?
92
00:04:03,492 --> 00:04:04,577
Oh, yeah.
93
00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:06,495
So I was doing
some research on comedy.
94
00:04:06,787 --> 00:04:08,507
And I came across
the cartoon strip Dilbert.
95
00:04:08,789 --> 00:04:09,790
It's quite good.
96
00:04:10,082 --> 00:04:11,642
And I was wondering
if we could do that.
97
00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:13,294
Do what?
98
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:14,670
Dilbert.
99
00:04:18,632 --> 00:04:19,632
You guys want coffee?
100
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:20,759
Oh, yeah.
101
00:04:20,926 --> 00:04:22,803
No, no, no, you can't say that.
102
00:04:23,095 --> 00:04:24,638
Jeb Bush is a friend of mine.
103
00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:26,515
Who should I change it to?
104
00:04:26,807 --> 00:04:28,768
Sean Penn...
No, Barbra Streisand.
105
00:04:29,059 --> 00:04:31,312
He guns it.
Girl falls into the water.
106
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:32,604
You guys want coffee?
107
00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:34,774
So we circle back
looking for her.
108
00:04:35,065 --> 00:04:36,776
Remember, it's pitch black out.
109
00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:38,652
The boat hits something hard.
110
00:04:38,944 --> 00:04:42,490
And you hear kind of...
111
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,450
And Brokaw says, "Just go.
112
00:04:44,742 --> 00:04:45,743
Don't look back."
113
00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:48,287
Now... I'm not a writer,
114
00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:51,457
but maybe
there's a skit in that.
115
00:04:59,715 --> 00:05:01,592
What?
Hey.
116
00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:03,570
So is Donaghy gonna be
in the room again today?
117
00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:04,637
Ugh.
Probably, yeah.
118
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:06,281
Well, you have to
say something to him.
119
00:05:06,305 --> 00:05:07,824
You guys are not
getting any work done.
120
00:05:07,848 --> 00:05:08,848
Really?
121
00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:10,142
You don't think his idea
122
00:05:10,434 --> 00:05:11,536
of starting
with the catchphrases
123
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:12,788
and working backwards
is panning out?
124
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,356
"Nuts to you,
McGullicuty."
125
00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:17,441
"Who ordered the wieners?"
126
00:05:19,985 --> 00:05:21,570
Beep beep!
Ribby ribby!
127
00:05:21,862 --> 00:05:23,022
Actually, Frank wrote a draft
128
00:05:23,113 --> 00:05:25,491
of "Beep beep,
ribby ribby."
129
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,790
Look, you have to say
something to Jack soon,
130
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:34,583
or your writers are
going to revolt.
131
00:05:34,875 --> 00:05:36,061
What do you all not understand?
132
00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:37,545
He's our boss.
133
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:38,980
Me trying to tell Jack
what to do
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00:05:39,004 --> 00:05:40,714
would be like you
trying to boss around...
135
00:05:41,006 --> 00:05:42,984
Which one of your kids
is it that you're afraid of?
136
00:05:43,008 --> 00:05:46,220
Kyle. Kyle.
137
00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:48,472
So strong.
138
00:05:48,764 --> 00:05:51,350
Oh, come on!
139
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:53,185
That was a jacket.
140
00:05:53,477 --> 00:05:54,746
That's it, I've gotta talk
to her about her clothes.
141
00:05:54,770 --> 00:05:55,810
She can't dress like that.
142
00:05:55,896 --> 00:05:56,896
Yes, she can.
143
00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:58,232
People like the way she dresses.
144
00:05:58,524 --> 00:05:59,709
Oh, come on, it's distracting.
It's inappropriate.
145
00:05:59,733 --> 00:06:01,920
You're inappropriate, you jerk,
with your big stupid face!
146
00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:04,488
Come on. Liz,
listen, listen, listen.
147
00:06:04,780 --> 00:06:06,407
Look at me.
148
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:08,325
Look how bald I am.
Look at my life.
149
00:06:08,617 --> 00:06:10,286
Please, just give me
this one thing.
150
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,413
Pete, no, come on!
I'm talking to her.
151
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:13,747
Talk to yourself!
152
00:06:14,039 --> 00:06:15,666
Cha!
153
00:06:20,337 --> 00:06:22,423
Kenny, my boy.
What's the frequency, Ken?
154
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:24,341
Yeah, I need you
to grab me some lunch.
155
00:06:24,633 --> 00:06:26,385
Absolutely.
What can I get for you?
156
00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:28,304
I want nachos.
Yes, sir.
157
00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:29,596
From Yankee Stadium.
158
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:32,308
Yes, sir!
159
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,518
General testing
for United Nations Bloopers.
160
00:06:34,810 --> 00:06:36,395
Oh, hey, Cerie.
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00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:38,039
Kind of need to talk to you
about something.
162
00:06:38,063 --> 00:06:39,231
Do you have a second?
163
00:06:39,523 --> 00:06:40,523
Sure.
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00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:44,445
Okay, this is gonna
sound really weird,
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00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:47,615
but, um... you need
to wear a bra.
166
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,117
Oh, no, I don't actually.
167
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,328
They kind of just
stay up on their own.
168
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:54,455
Yeah, okay.
See?
169
00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:58,292
What I'm saying is, you need
to wear a bra to work
170
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:01,295
if you want to be taken
seriously in this business.
171
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:04,298
No, but I don't actually
want to work in television.
172
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:06,175
Career-wise, I'm just
gonna marry rich
173
00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:07,467
and then design handbags.
174
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,678
Here's the thing.
175
00:07:09,970 --> 00:07:12,681
The way that you dress
is making some people
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00:07:12,973 --> 00:07:14,725
around the office uncomfortable.
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00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,268
Really? Who?
178
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,187
Not me!
179
00:07:19,563 --> 00:07:20,563
I guess it's mostly me
180
00:07:20,689 --> 00:07:22,149
that has the problem with it.
181
00:07:22,441 --> 00:07:23,441
Oh, because you have,
182
00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:25,235
like, one of those
body image things?
183
00:07:25,527 --> 00:07:27,029
No, it's not that.
184
00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:28,530
Good, because I was gonna say
185
00:07:28,822 --> 00:07:30,491
you still have a good body.
186
00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:32,534
Well, thank you,
but this isn't about me.
187
00:07:32,826 --> 00:07:34,706
Like, how did you dress
before you were married?
188
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,705
I'm not married, Cerie.
189
00:07:36,997 --> 00:07:39,333
Oh, for some reason, I thought
you had, like, three kids.
190
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:40,668
Nope.
191
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,419
Never married, no kids.
192
00:07:42,711 --> 00:07:43,897
'Cause sometimes you have, like,
193
00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,547
food stains on your shirt
and stuff.
194
00:07:45,839 --> 00:07:47,383
I just assumed that it was kids.
195
00:07:47,675 --> 00:07:49,176
You know what?
196
00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:52,930
Forget I mentioned it.
You look great.
197
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:58,602
Is it my birthday?
198
00:07:58,894 --> 00:08:00,454
You have to get Donaghy
out of the room.
199
00:08:00,604 --> 00:08:04,233
Boy, we as a group
might not smell great.
200
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:05,234
Come on, he's stifling us.
201
00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:07,486
I feel like I just can't
be myself around him.
202
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:11,073
Yeah, Tracy's
downstairs right now
203
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:13,051
rehearsing the best thing
we've written all week.
204
00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:16,245
Beep beep!
Ribby ribby!
205
00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:18,372
All right.
206
00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:24,086
Ugh.
207
00:08:24,378 --> 00:08:27,172
All right.
I'll take care of it.
208
00:08:27,464 --> 00:08:29,550
Thanks, Liz.
209
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,218
Hey, Mr. Donaghy.
210
00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:32,594
Sorry I'm late.
211
00:08:32,886 --> 00:08:34,823
I was at a luncheon for
Ann Coulter's 60th birthday.
212
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:35,556
Oh, yeah.
213
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:37,349
Listen, it's been really great
214
00:08:37,641 --> 00:08:39,601
having you in the room
these last few days...
215
00:08:39,893 --> 00:08:40,912
Oh, it's been great for me, too.
216
00:08:40,936 --> 00:08:42,521
Being around all
this creativity.
217
00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:43,915
I'll tell you, in the beginning
218
00:08:43,939 --> 00:08:45,500
I thought it was gonna be
a bit of a chore honestly,
219
00:08:45,524 --> 00:08:47,317
but now...
Oh, I have an idea for you.
220
00:08:47,609 --> 00:08:50,237
Monkey Senate.
We open on the Capitol...
221
00:08:50,529 --> 00:08:53,198
You can't be in here
anymore! What's that?
222
00:08:53,490 --> 00:08:55,410
It's not working.
You're driving everybody crazy.
223
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,244
And, okay, you can
just fire me now,
224
00:08:57,536 --> 00:09:01,749
and I will go back to teaching
improv to senior citizens.
225
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:03,500
Why would I want to fire you?
226
00:09:03,792 --> 00:09:05,669
This is fine.
227
00:09:05,961 --> 00:09:09,465
Six Sigma values direct
and honest communication
228
00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:13,260
between coworkers, so, uh...
229
00:09:13,552 --> 00:09:14,595
Thank you, Liz.
230
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:17,514
Oh, sure.
231
00:09:17,806 --> 00:09:20,017
I'll just, uh,
head upstairs now.
232
00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:24,021
Okay, well, thank you
for being so understanding.
233
00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:26,356
Absolutely.
234
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,624
Oh, no.
235
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:47,419
I will not let you down, sir.
236
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:02,976
Go get help, girl.
237
00:10:09,399 --> 00:10:11,777
Hey, Jonathan, I left
a bunch of messages for Jack,
238
00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:13,546
but I haven't heard back.
Do you know if he got them?
239
00:10:13,570 --> 00:10:16,657
Mr. Donaghy's been
very busy.
240
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,189
Well, I just... I really need
him to approve this budget.
241
00:10:19,451 --> 00:10:20,451
Well, I'm sorry.
242
00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:22,414
He's out of the country
till the end of the week.
243
00:10:22,621 --> 00:10:24,456
Oh.
244
00:10:31,004 --> 00:10:33,132
You want to know
another key to success?
245
00:10:33,423 --> 00:10:34,423
I do, Mr. Jordan.
246
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:35,717
Dress every day
247
00:10:36,009 --> 00:10:40,472
like you're gonna get
murdered in those clothes.
248
00:10:40,764 --> 00:10:42,349
You did real good the other day
249
00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:43,350
with those nachos,
250
00:10:43,642 --> 00:10:44,852
but I need you to do something
251
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,937
of a different nature.
252
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:48,522
Would you agree when I say
253
00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:50,524
that a man's freedom only exists
254
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,860
when he's free to pursue
his desires?
255
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:55,195
Yes, I suppose I would.
256
00:10:55,487 --> 00:10:59,533
Which means when the law
conflicts with our desires,
257
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:04,830
then we must operate
outside the law.
258
00:11:05,122 --> 00:11:06,790
You following me?
259
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:11,795
Otherwise, we would
no longer be free.
260
00:11:14,339 --> 00:11:16,216
Now I got a mission for you.
261
00:11:16,508 --> 00:11:18,093
Hey, Liz!
262
00:11:18,385 --> 00:11:21,054
I took your advice.
I'm wearing a bra.
263
00:11:21,346 --> 00:11:22,472
That's great, Cerie.
264
00:11:22,764 --> 00:11:24,725
Uh, Liz, can I speak
to you for a second?
265
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:27,060
Sure.
266
00:11:27,352 --> 00:11:28,352
What's going on?
267
00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:29,605
Mr. Donaghy is very upset
268
00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:31,082
that you banned him
from the writers' room.
269
00:11:31,106 --> 00:11:32,608
He wants you to apologize.
270
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,276
Really?
271
00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:35,587
But when you apologize,
you have to act
272
00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:36,612
like it was your idea.
273
00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:38,104
He can't know that I told you.
274
00:11:38,363 --> 00:11:41,241
But he sent you here
to tell me to apologize.
275
00:11:41,533 --> 00:11:43,785
Exactly.
I penciled you in for 3:00.
276
00:11:44,077 --> 00:11:46,872
This conversation
never happened.
277
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:49,208
Jenna, set yourself, please,
278
00:11:49,499 --> 00:11:51,418
for Who Wants to Eat
a Dictionary?
279
00:11:54,838 --> 00:11:56,465
Where's Kenneth?
280
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:11,521
Who is it?
281
00:12:11,813 --> 00:12:14,107
It's Kenneth
from the NBC page program.
282
00:12:14,399 --> 00:12:16,652
I'm here for a pickup
from Qiang Deng.
283
00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:21,365
Hello, gentlemen.
284
00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:23,659
Oh, thank goodness.
Air conditioning.
285
00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:25,369
Ooh, what does that tattoo mean?
286
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:27,454
When I get nervous,
I ask a lot of questions.
287
00:12:27,746 --> 00:12:29,206
Do y'all have a bathroom
I could use?
288
00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:31,208
Y'all have long fingernails.
289
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:34,086
Now do y'all rent this space,
or do you own it?
290
00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:36,088
Hey, that's
a funny-looking fish.
291
00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,298
What is that,
like a grapefruit knife?
292
00:12:38,590 --> 00:12:40,676
Do you have a cell phone?
What's your plan?
293
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:44,137
This apology thing
is interesting.
294
00:12:44,429 --> 00:12:45,823
Ugh, even when
it's something normal
295
00:12:45,847 --> 00:12:48,225
I hate going up
to Jack's office.
296
00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:50,119
I always feel like
I'm entering the Death Star.
297
00:12:50,143 --> 00:12:52,145
I expect to see Stormtroopers.
298
00:12:52,437 --> 00:12:53,957
I tell you, if Donaghy
does this at me,
299
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:55,106
I will run.
300
00:12:55,148 --> 00:12:57,317
You'll be fine...
Captain Needa.
301
00:12:57,609 --> 00:13:00,654
No, Captain Needa dies.
He dies!
302
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:04,157
♪ There's no business
like show business ♪
303
00:13:04,449 --> 00:13:07,160
♪ Like no business I know ♪
304
00:13:07,452 --> 00:13:10,580
♪ Everything about it
is appealing ♪
305
00:13:10,872 --> 00:13:14,209
♪ Everything the traffic
will allow ♪
306
00:13:14,501 --> 00:13:17,170
♪ Nowhere can you get
that special feeling ♪
307
00:13:17,462 --> 00:13:20,549
♪ Than when you're stealing
that extra bow ♪
308
00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:27,180
What can I do for you?
309
00:13:27,472 --> 00:13:28,658
I'm on a helicopter
in 15 minutes.
310
00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:31,268
Uh, well, sir,
311
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,520
I just wanted to say, um,
312
00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:36,064
I'm sorry if I hurt
your feelings the other day
313
00:13:36,356 --> 00:13:38,525
when I asked you to stay
out of the writers' room.
314
00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:40,736
That's absurd.
Completely unnecessary.
315
00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:42,428
I haven't given it
a second thought.
316
00:13:42,654 --> 00:13:43,798
Okay, good, 'cause,
you know, the writers,
317
00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:44,966
they see you as management...
318
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:48,410
Please, it's water
under the bridge.
319
00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:52,372
Stop worrying and just
go on back to work.
320
00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:57,419
Of course, I can understand
how you might think
321
00:13:57,711 --> 00:13:59,087
my feelings were hurt.
322
00:13:59,379 --> 00:14:01,259
No one wants to hear
that people don't like you.
323
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:02,674
What, no?
324
00:14:02,966 --> 00:14:04,806
No, that's not at all
what I was saying before.
325
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:06,029
I never said
that people don't like you.
326
00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:07,054
That's not true.
327
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:09,056
So, people do like me?
328
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:11,558
Yes, people like you.
329
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:13,268
Do you like me?
330
00:14:14,978 --> 00:14:16,271
Of course.
331
00:14:16,563 --> 00:14:17,731
I like you.
332
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:19,023
Jack.
333
00:14:19,107 --> 00:14:20,567
You know what I like about you?
334
00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:22,569
Mmm.
335
00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:26,073
Your eyes.
336
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:30,077
You have those
black shark's eyes.
337
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:31,370
You know?
Very intense.
338
00:14:31,661 --> 00:14:33,830
Thank you.
339
00:14:34,122 --> 00:14:35,374
Anyway...
340
00:14:46,885 --> 00:14:48,303
You done good, kid.
341
00:14:48,595 --> 00:14:49,763
That thing ever goes missing
342
00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:51,535
and gets into
the public water system,
343
00:14:51,681 --> 00:14:52,681
we don't know each other.
344
00:14:52,849 --> 00:14:53,433
Got it.
345
00:14:53,725 --> 00:14:55,245
I got one little errand
for you to run.
346
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:56,434
Tomorrow's my anniversary,
347
00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:57,805
and I almost forgot about it.
348
00:14:57,938 --> 00:14:59,773
But what did I tell you
was the secret
349
00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:01,066
to having a good marriage
350
00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:03,068
and keeping it
together, Kenneth?
351
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,612
Be a good listener,
a giver of gifts,
352
00:15:05,904 --> 00:15:06,904
and work that va-jay-jay.
353
00:15:06,988 --> 00:15:08,782
That's my boy!
354
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:12,786
That's why I want you
to go see my jeweler.
355
00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:18,166
Good morning, Liz.
356
00:15:18,458 --> 00:15:20,710
Oh, hi, Mr. Donaghy.
How are you?
357
00:15:21,002 --> 00:15:22,295
Fine, thank you.
358
00:15:22,587 --> 00:15:24,065
I remember you mentioning
what a big fan you are
359
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:25,249
of the rapper Chamillionaire.
360
00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:28,343
'Cause I was dancing with Frank?
361
00:15:28,635 --> 00:15:30,554
Oh, yes, yeah.
I love Chamillionaire.
362
00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:33,265
Well, it just so happens
that he's performing
363
00:15:33,557 --> 00:15:34,808
this weekend at Webster Hall,
364
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:38,437
and I got some VIP tickets
and backstage passes.
365
00:15:38,728 --> 00:15:42,149
You could take the writers
or a lady friend.
366
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:43,650
Whatever.
Enjoy yourself.
367
00:15:43,942 --> 00:15:45,277
You deserve it.
368
00:15:45,569 --> 00:15:47,696
Wow. Thank you.
369
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,781
That's very thoughtful.
370
00:15:50,073 --> 00:15:50,740
Well, I think that
coworkers should have
371
00:15:51,032 --> 00:15:52,284
good personal relationships.
372
00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:53,761
I know we've had some missteps,
373
00:15:53,785 --> 00:15:55,829
but we've put all that
behind us.
374
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:59,666
And I'd like us
to be... friendly.
375
00:15:59,958 --> 00:16:02,794
Yeah, absolutely.
Yes, so do I.
376
00:16:03,086 --> 00:16:03,712
Wow, I just can't believe
377
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:05,724
Chamillionaire tickets
were still available.
378
00:16:05,964 --> 00:16:08,592
Ah, well.
379
00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:11,052
See ya.
380
00:16:11,344 --> 00:16:14,514
Josh to stage,
please, for Homophobic Hague.
381
00:16:14,806 --> 00:16:16,433
What was that about?
382
00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:18,393
Just talking
to my "bud," Jack Donaghy.
383
00:16:18,685 --> 00:16:19,269
Bud, really?
384
00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:21,081
Yes, he said he wants
us to be friends.
385
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:22,633
He gave me
Chamillionaire tickets.
386
00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:24,483
And he even did this to me.
387
00:16:24,774 --> 00:16:26,134
Wow, look, having Jack
on your side
388
00:16:26,401 --> 00:16:27,569
can only make life easier.
389
00:16:27,861 --> 00:16:29,297
It's good for everybody
if he wants to be friends.
390
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:30,405
I know, but it's so weird.
391
00:16:30,697 --> 00:16:31,841
It's like that scene
where you see the back
392
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:32,491
of Darth Vader's head
with his helmet off,
393
00:16:32,782 --> 00:16:34,784
and you're like,
"Oh! He's a human being!"
394
00:16:35,076 --> 00:16:36,369
I gotta get some new DVDs.
395
00:16:36,661 --> 00:16:37,741
Did we just go in a circle?
396
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:38,913
Yeah.
I was following you.
397
00:16:38,955 --> 00:16:39,955
I was following you.
398
00:16:40,081 --> 00:16:41,208
No, I'm going to wardrobe.
399
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:42,876
Okay, good walk and talk.
400
00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:46,338
Actors, please set
yourselves for Queasy Stuffed Shirt.
401
00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:49,049
Lee, can I check costumes
for the cold open?
402
00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:51,676
That looks fierce.
403
00:16:51,968 --> 00:16:52,968
Hey, Liz.
404
00:16:53,011 --> 00:16:55,805
Cerie, seriously, take that off.
405
00:16:56,097 --> 00:16:57,390
And you, stop encouraging her.
406
00:16:57,682 --> 00:16:59,142
You're an enabler.
407
00:16:59,434 --> 00:17:01,728
You need to dress
like you have a job.
408
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,563
And parents who raised you
409
00:17:03,855 --> 00:17:07,400
in some kind of shamed-based
American religious tradition.
410
00:17:07,692 --> 00:17:09,569
Here.
411
00:17:09,861 --> 00:17:11,571
I can make this hot.
412
00:17:11,863 --> 00:17:12,572
Now I get to pick out
413
00:17:12,864 --> 00:17:13,883
what I think you'd look good in.
414
00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:16,701
Oh, I'm not really
a fashion person.
415
00:17:16,993 --> 00:17:17,993
You're wearing this.
416
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,829
Come on, no.
I'm serious.
417
00:17:20,121 --> 00:17:21,581
This color would be
amazing on you.
418
00:17:21,873 --> 00:17:23,750
And you're a size four, right?
419
00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:28,547
Well, aren't you sweet?
420
00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:35,428
♪ Who's that lady? ♪
♪ Who's that lady? ♪
421
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,223
♪ Beautiful lady, lady, yeah ♪
422
00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:39,766
♪ Who's that lady? ♪
423
00:17:40,058 --> 00:17:41,810
♪ Lovely lady ♪
424
00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:43,645
♪ Who's that lady? ♪
425
00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:46,898
♪ Real fine lady ♪
♪ Who's that lady? ♪
426
00:17:47,190 --> 00:17:49,943
♪ Hear me callin' out to you
'cause that's all that I can do ♪
427
00:17:53,905 --> 00:17:54,905
Hey, guys, what's up?
428
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,492
Ugh!
Oh, my God!
429
00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:00,704
What are you wearing?!
430
00:18:00,996 --> 00:18:02,080
You're making me gay.
431
00:18:02,372 --> 00:18:04,291
It's a joke, obviously.
432
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:06,418
I'm wearing this as a joke!
433
00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:08,590
Bunch of comedy writers
don't know a joke, jeez.
434
00:18:08,795 --> 00:18:10,338
I just threw up in my mouth.
435
00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:12,549
I said it's a joke!
436
00:18:17,929 --> 00:18:20,640
Work it, Craig!
Whoo!
437
00:18:22,809 --> 00:18:24,978
I think I'm having
a heart attack.
438
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:26,646
Excellent, right
here. Thank you.
439
00:18:26,938 --> 00:18:28,440
Oh, pizza!
440
00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:29,899
Thank you, sir.
441
00:18:30,191 --> 00:18:32,694
Hey, Liz, can we eat this
out on the roof gardens?
442
00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:34,506
I don't even know
how to get out there.
443
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:35,238
I don't think people
are allowed out there.
444
00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:36,656
No, I see Today Show people
445
00:18:36,948 --> 00:18:38,009
eating out there all the time.
446
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:39,576
Really?
Even Ann Curry?
447
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:42,787
I'll show you the studio
in just a minute,
448
00:18:43,079 --> 00:18:46,875
but first, this is where
my writers write.
449
00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:50,128
Don't mind the odor.
450
00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:51,772
But seriously,
since Tracy's arrival
451
00:18:51,796 --> 00:18:53,024
the show is up in the key demos.
452
00:18:53,048 --> 00:18:54,424
We're driving male viewership,
453
00:18:54,716 --> 00:18:58,178
and we're effectively
synergizing backward overflow.
454
00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:00,680
Please, Liz, let us eat outside.
455
00:19:00,972 --> 00:19:02,515
You know what?
I'll ask Jack.
456
00:19:02,807 --> 00:19:04,351
He'll let us eat
out there, right?
457
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:07,354
He and I have
an important friendship.
458
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:09,689
Hey, they didn't bring
any sodas.
459
00:19:09,981 --> 00:19:11,650
I'll call Kenneth.
460
00:19:16,112 --> 00:19:17,864
Seriously, where is Kenneth?
461
00:19:21,826 --> 00:19:25,372
Happy anniversary,
Mrs. Jordan.
462
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:29,042
Excuse me, do y'all just have
noodles with butter?
463
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:32,545
Hey, Jack!
Sorry to interrupt.
464
00:19:32,837 --> 00:19:34,255
Hey, can we eat
our pizza outside?
465
00:19:34,547 --> 00:19:35,547
'Cause those wangs
466
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:36,817
from the Today Show
eat on the roof garden
467
00:19:36,841 --> 00:19:38,134
all the time, and, you know,
468
00:19:38,426 --> 00:19:40,237
since I thought me and you
are best buds... boink!
469
00:19:40,261 --> 00:19:41,554
Maybe you could do me a solid
470
00:19:41,846 --> 00:19:43,473
and slip me the key
to that thing.
471
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:45,058
This guy's the best.
472
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:46,990
He got me kick-ass
Chamillionaire tickets.
473
00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:48,387
You guys like Chamillionaire?
474
00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:50,772
Anyway, Jack rocks.
475
00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:53,483
This guy, A-plus.
476
00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:56,528
Excuse me for a moment.
477
00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:58,660
I'm sorry for
what's about to happen right now.
478
00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:00,062
Just know that I don't mean it.
479
00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:01,366
Don't mean what?
480
00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:03,451
What group home
did you escape from
481
00:20:03,743 --> 00:20:04,943
that you would dare talk to me
482
00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:06,454
like some plumber's wife
483
00:20:06,746 --> 00:20:09,082
in front of Ron Gordon
and Bob Overmeyer?
484
00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:10,726
I don't even know
who those guys are.
485
00:20:10,750 --> 00:20:12,585
Oh, really?
Your ignorance was obvious
486
00:20:12,877 --> 00:20:15,505
when you waddled up to me
with your thin-lipped mouth
487
00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:17,132
full of greasy peasant food
488
00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:18,693
and addressed me
by my Christian name
489
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:20,317
in front of the gentlemen
from Fairfield.
490
00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:21,696
That's Fairfield,
Connecticut, Lemon.
491
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,054
GE Headquarters.
492
00:20:23,346 --> 00:20:24,426
But how would you know that
493
00:20:24,681 --> 00:20:26,558
with your nigh-40 years
of public education
494
00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:28,810
and daytime television viewing?
495
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:31,038
If you ever pull a bush league
stunt like that again,
496
00:20:31,062 --> 00:20:33,106
I'm gonna have you writing
promos for Arena Football
497
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:36,151
so fast it'll make your
inexplicably small head spin.
498
00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:38,111
Oh, snap.
499
00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:40,864
Snap!
500
00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:44,659
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
501
00:20:44,951 --> 00:20:46,311
I thought you said
we were friends.
502
00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:48,037
I said we were friendly.
503
00:20:48,329 --> 00:20:49,569
Well, I don't like you anymore.
504
00:20:49,789 --> 00:20:51,374
I don't believe you.
505
00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:56,880
Go easy on the pizza.
35298
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