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1
00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:09,550
♪♪
2
00:00:09,842 --> 00:00:11,122
Excuse me.
There's a line, buddy.
3
00:00:11,385 --> 00:00:12,385
There's two lines.
4
00:00:12,553 --> 00:00:13,596
No, no, there's one line.
5
00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:14,888
We're in it.
6
00:00:15,014 --> 00:00:16,557
I'm just getting a hot dog.
7
00:00:16,849 --> 00:00:18,142
We're all getting hot dogs.
8
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What, you think
there's two lines
9
00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:21,096
and we're all in this line...
10
00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:23,439
You're the only genius
that got in the other line?
11
00:00:23,731 --> 00:00:24,731
Can you believe this guy?
12
00:00:26,567 --> 00:00:27,693
Don't line up behind him.
13
00:00:27,985 --> 00:00:28,985
He cheated you.
14
00:00:29,237 --> 00:00:29,820
Hey, shut up.
15
00:00:30,112 --> 00:00:31,392
What do you want on yours, baby?
16
00:00:31,447 --> 00:00:33,115
I want all the hot dogs, please.
17
00:00:33,407 --> 00:00:35,007
Yeah, I'm... I'm buying
all the hot dogs.
18
00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:36,159
Oh, come on, lady.
19
00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:40,164
And I'm giving them
to the good people.
20
00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:42,624
♪ Who's that ♪
21
00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:44,835
♪ Kicking it down the street ♪
22
00:00:45,127 --> 00:00:47,171
♪ Causin' a stir ♪
23
00:00:47,463 --> 00:00:49,382
♪ Who's that ♪
24
00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:51,968
♪ I know that you're wondrin'
That's her ♪
25
00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:54,387
♪ That's her, that's her,
that's her, that's her ♪
26
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:57,139
♪ Who's got
The kind of charisma that ♪
27
00:00:57,431 --> 00:01:00,685
♪ The boys prefer ♪
28
00:01:00,977 --> 00:01:02,979
♪ Who's hot
And you know that she knows it ♪
29
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:04,271
♪ That's her ♪
30
00:01:04,355 --> 00:01:05,731
♪ She's like a summer sky ♪
31
00:01:06,023 --> 00:01:07,183
♪ It's like some cherry pie ♪
32
00:01:07,441 --> 00:01:10,111
♪ And there is butterfly
Me oh my ♪
33
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:13,823
♪ Who flaunts her feminine magic
That's her ♪
34
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:15,115
That's me!
35
00:01:15,324 --> 00:01:16,325
That's Pam!
36
00:01:16,617 --> 00:01:18,411
The overly-confident
morbidly obese woman.
37
00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:22,373
This fat suit
smells like corn chips.
38
00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:23,865
Going
again, please. Thank you.
39
00:01:24,083 --> 00:01:25,960
And this is the set
of The Girlie Show.
40
00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:28,713
It's a real fun
ladies' comedy show for ladies.
41
00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:30,381
Hey, everybody.
42
00:01:30,673 --> 00:01:32,758
Look, here's someone
you never get a chance to meet.
43
00:01:33,050 --> 00:01:34,278
It's the head writer
of The Girlie Show,
44
00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:35,302
Liz Lemon!
45
00:01:41,767 --> 00:01:43,686
The Girlie Show.
46
00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:45,771
Hold on, I'll connect you.
47
00:01:46,063 --> 00:01:46,772
What's up?
Hey.
48
00:01:47,064 --> 00:01:48,458
Hey, have you looked
at that Cat Lady sketch?
49
00:01:48,482 --> 00:01:49,682
It's still seven minutes long.
50
00:01:49,817 --> 00:01:50,817
Yikes, okay.
51
00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:52,100
Oh, and Standards has a problem
52
00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:53,171
with that Michael Jackson bit.
53
00:01:53,195 --> 00:01:54,238
But why?
54
00:01:54,530 --> 00:01:56,091
Apparently you can't say
he's got a vagina.
55
00:01:56,115 --> 00:01:58,176
Oh, it's... fine, I'll just
take the whole thing out.
56
00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,910
Hey, you gotta tell
that NBC page
57
00:02:00,202 --> 00:02:01,202
to take it down a notch.
58
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:02,412
Oh, you mean Ken?
59
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:04,850
Yeah, he just embarrassed me
in front of a whole tour group.
60
00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:06,709
I'll talk to him.
What is this?
61
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:08,103
Ah, well, you know how I hate it
62
00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:09,187
when people cheat
or break rules?
63
00:02:09,211 --> 00:02:10,211
Yes, I do.
64
00:02:10,379 --> 00:02:12,048
Well, I just spent
150 bucks on wieners.
65
00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:13,340
Atta boy.
66
00:02:14,592 --> 00:02:15,676
Chumley.
67
00:02:15,968 --> 00:02:18,471
The beverage situation
around here is reprehensible.
68
00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:20,306
Oh, good morning, sunshine.
69
00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:21,838
Surely our massive conglomerate
70
00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:26,646
parent company could spring
for a samovar of coffee.
71
00:02:26,937 --> 00:02:28,606
Yeah, or like
a big coffee dispenser.
72
00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:30,358
That's what a samovar is.
73
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:33,944
Are there other black nerds,
or is it just you and Urkel?
74
00:02:34,236 --> 00:02:35,488
Uh, Cerie,
75
00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:36,940
do you wanna get some coffee?
76
00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:38,908
No, thank you.
77
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,409
No?
78
00:02:40,701 --> 00:02:41,994
Hey, Josh.
79
00:02:42,286 --> 00:02:43,555
I need to change
your Michael Jackson thing.
80
00:02:43,579 --> 00:02:45,581
Didn't you tell me you had
a Jay Leno impression?
81
00:02:45,873 --> 00:02:47,073
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Check it out.
82
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:50,544
So, uh,
President Bush is in the news again.
83
00:02:50,836 --> 00:02:51,876
Have you heard about this?
84
00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:52,713
No, Jay Leno.
85
00:02:53,005 --> 00:02:54,465
The host of the Tonight Show.
Yeah.
86
00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:56,077
I thought that's what
I was doing.
87
00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:57,760
So, uh, my wife Mavis and I
88
00:02:58,052 --> 00:02:59,804
like to go shopping
for old cars.
89
00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:00,805
You know?
No, no.
90
00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:02,097
Like Jay Leno.
91
00:03:02,306 --> 00:03:03,706
Like, "Hey, here are
the headlines."
92
00:03:04,725 --> 00:03:05,851
You ever... you ever notice
93
00:03:06,143 --> 00:03:07,703
when you eat a lot of cheese,
and you...
94
00:03:07,895 --> 00:03:09,935
How is that different
from what I was doing, though?
95
00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:12,650
And I don't think you need
to introduce the writers
96
00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:13,942
to the tour group.
97
00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:15,110
I agree.
98
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:16,836
I thought they would
find it interesting,
99
00:03:16,987 --> 00:03:17,987
but they really did not.
100
00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:20,157
Well, Kenneth,
just respect their privacy.
101
00:03:20,449 --> 00:03:22,243
I promise I'll do better,
Mr. Hornberger.
102
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:23,536
Sure you will.
I just...
103
00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:26,414
I just love television so much.
104
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:29,291
We all do.
105
00:03:29,583 --> 00:03:31,669
Liz, they want you and Pete
on the 50th floor.
106
00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:32,545
Who, Gary?
All right.
107
00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:34,237
Tell him I'll be up
in half an hour.
108
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,674
No, they said now.
109
00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:38,443
If they got cookies up there,
grab some.
110
00:03:38,467 --> 00:03:40,027
Ooh, and get them to pay
for my Samovar.
111
00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:41,174
Of course, I mean, I assume
112
00:03:41,303 --> 00:03:41,887
that's what we're meeting about.
113
00:03:42,179 --> 00:03:43,597
What about, uh, Ray Romano?
114
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Can you do Ray?
115
00:03:44,932 --> 00:03:46,016
Hey.
116
00:03:46,308 --> 00:03:47,518
God, oh.
117
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,019
Debra.
There you go.
118
00:03:49,311 --> 00:03:50,438
My brother's tall.
119
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,189
Right?
120
00:03:52,481 --> 00:03:53,721
Are we in trouble or something?
121
00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:55,818
No way.
Gary loves the show.
122
00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:57,403
Pleased with the ratings.
123
00:03:57,695 --> 00:03:59,238
Right.
Of course.
124
00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:01,282
They love us.
125
00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:06,912
Where's Gary?
126
00:04:09,081 --> 00:04:11,208
Gary's dead.
127
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:12,500
I'm Jack Donaghy.
128
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,585
New VP of development
129
00:04:13,627 --> 00:04:15,087
for NBC/GE/Universal/Kmart.
130
00:04:15,379 --> 00:04:16,505
Oh, we own Kmart now.
131
00:04:16,797 --> 00:04:17,840
No.
132
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:20,009
So why are you dressed
like we do?
133
00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:25,157
I'm surprised you're renovating.
134
00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:26,348
This is such a nice office.
135
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,480
It's a great office,
but sometimes, you have to
136
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,352
change things
that are perfectly good
137
00:04:30,644 --> 00:04:32,521
just to, uh, make them your own.
138
00:04:32,813 --> 00:04:35,274
Please.
139
00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:37,610
Ah, I'll call her back.
140
00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:39,278
Is she at the White House line?
141
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:40,196
Great.
142
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,740
Tell them I need
a 4:00 a.m. tee off time.
143
00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:46,535
Uh, five inches, but it's thick.
144
00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:51,540
Are you familiar with
the GE Tri-vection Oven?
145
00:04:51,832 --> 00:04:54,084
I don't cook very much.
146
00:04:54,376 --> 00:04:55,753
Sure, I got you.
147
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:58,839
New York, third wave feminist,
college educated.
148
00:04:59,131 --> 00:05:00,925
Single and pretending
to be happy about it.
149
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:03,135
Over-scheduled, undersexed,
you buy any magazine
150
00:05:03,427 --> 00:05:05,346
that says "Healthy body image"
on the cover.
151
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:06,931
And every two years,
152
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:08,808
you take up knitting for...
153
00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:11,351
A week.
154
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,187
That is dead on!
155
00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:15,039
What, are you gonna
guess my weight now?
156
00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:16,565
You don't want me to do that.
157
00:05:16,857 --> 00:05:18,108
That knitting thing IS uncanny.
158
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:19,400
How do you do that?
159
00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:21,153
Market research, my friend.
160
00:05:21,445 --> 00:05:23,531
Years and years
of market research,
161
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,449
which lead to
my greatest triumph.
162
00:05:25,741 --> 00:05:27,493
The Tri-vection oven.
163
00:05:29,036 --> 00:05:31,080
Oh, my wife wants one of those.
164
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:32,641
Could we get Pete
an oven, please?
165
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:33,958
Hey.
The GE Tri-vection oven
166
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,835
cooks perfect food
five times faster
167
00:05:36,126 --> 00:05:37,126
than a conventional oven,
168
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,480
because it uses
three kinds of heat.
169
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,673
Thermal technology
for consistent temperature.
170
00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:42,883
GE Precise Air
convection technology
171
00:05:43,175 --> 00:05:44,295
for optimal air circulation,
172
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:47,888
and microwave technology
for incredible speed.
173
00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:49,431
With three kinds of heat,
174
00:05:49,723 --> 00:05:54,228
you can cook a turkey
in 22 minutes.
175
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,897
Wow.
That is impressive.
176
00:05:57,189 --> 00:05:58,732
The people upstairs think so.
177
00:05:59,024 --> 00:06:00,085
That's why they promoted me.
178
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:02,236
That's why they sent me here
to retool your show.
179
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,405
Retool what now?
180
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,991
I'm the new vice president
of east coast television
181
00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:08,523
and microwave oven programming.
182
00:06:08,742 --> 00:06:11,537
That sounds like you program
microwave ovens.
183
00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,747
I like you.
184
00:06:14,039 --> 00:06:17,376
You have the boldness
of a much younger woman.
185
00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:24,550
Lee, does my face
look bloated to you?
186
00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:27,761
When I played that lady rapist
on Law & Order,
187
00:06:28,053 --> 00:06:30,598
guess what the makeup guy
put on under my eyes
188
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:31,930
to take the puffiness out?
189
00:06:32,099 --> 00:06:33,559
Hemorrhoid cream.
190
00:06:38,355 --> 00:06:39,355
Ms. Maroney?
191
00:06:39,481 --> 00:06:40,917
I have the cat wrangler
here for you.
192
00:06:40,941 --> 00:06:43,444
Oh, is it
that horrible little... Hi.
193
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:45,863
Hey. Greta Johannsen.
194
00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:47,156
It's short for "LaGreta."
195
00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:48,949
Hi, great to see
you again. You too.
196
00:06:49,241 --> 00:06:50,993
I'm here to introduce you
to feline actors
197
00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:51,952
you're gonna be
working with tonight.
198
00:06:52,244 --> 00:06:53,829
Okay.
This is Po-Po.
199
00:06:54,121 --> 00:06:55,873
And this here is
Captain Boots. Hello.
200
00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:57,350
Uh, would you describe yourself
201
00:06:57,374 --> 00:06:58,374
as "cat competent?"
202
00:06:58,542 --> 00:07:00,294
Oh, yes.
I love cats.
203
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:01,754
I used to have two cats.
204
00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:04,024
But then I moved to this place
with hardwood floors,
205
00:07:04,048 --> 00:07:05,174
so we had to put them down.
206
00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:09,011
I'm joking.
207
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:10,543
I've done several focus groups,
208
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,765
on this show,
and what I've gleaned...
209
00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:15,684
The blonde, big-eyed girl
210
00:07:15,976 --> 00:07:17,937
is popular with women
and older gays.
211
00:07:18,228 --> 00:07:20,397
Jenna, that's my friend Jenna.
212
00:07:20,689 --> 00:07:22,775
And the kid with the funny hair
is liked by women,
213
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:26,236
but you're missing men
between 18 and 49.
214
00:07:26,528 --> 00:07:28,364
I'm not missing them,
they're just not there.
215
00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:30,282
I think I can fix that.
216
00:07:30,574 --> 00:07:32,952
So your job is, you take things
217
00:07:33,243 --> 00:07:34,804
that are already working,
and you fix them.
218
00:07:34,828 --> 00:07:36,664
That's a great job.
219
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,316
Okay, let's... Why don't we, um...
220
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:40,459
You're missing
that third kind of heat.
221
00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:42,753
I want you to think about
Tracy Jordan.
222
00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,380
Okay... the black guy?
223
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:45,965
The black movie star.
224
00:07:46,256 --> 00:07:48,485
I flew with him on a private jet
to the Super Bowl recently,
225
00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:49,819
and I found him
very entertaining.
226
00:07:49,843 --> 00:07:51,345
Isn't he, um...
227
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:53,222
crazy?
228
00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:55,808
Tracy's had his problems
in the last few years.
229
00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:58,018
I am a Jedi!
230
00:07:58,310 --> 00:08:00,521
I am a Jedi!
231
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:02,439
I am a Jedi!
232
00:08:02,731 --> 00:08:04,084
The important thing
to remember is,
233
00:08:04,108 --> 00:08:05,943
he was never charged
with a crime.
234
00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:08,435
It's not illegal to fall asleep
on your neighbor's roof.
235
00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:09,780
Nor should it be.
236
00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:12,866
Tracy Jordan ls the third heat.
237
00:08:13,158 --> 00:08:15,278
I don't know where we're gonna
find room in the budget
238
00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:16,531
for a guy like Tracy Jordan.
239
00:08:16,745 --> 00:08:18,122
I think I do.
240
00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:23,127
What are you doing?
241
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:25,059
Sometimes when I have
these stress dreams,
242
00:08:25,212 --> 00:08:27,631
if I go to sleep in the dream,
I come out of it.
243
00:08:27,923 --> 00:08:30,300
"This is not a dream."
244
00:08:30,592 --> 00:08:32,344
Tracy Jordan
245
00:08:32,636 --> 00:08:33,846
is in New York today, Liz.
246
00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:35,538
I'd like you
to have lunch with him.
247
00:08:35,764 --> 00:08:37,850
We have a show tonight,
Mr. Donaghy.
248
00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:39,786
I don't know if your research
covered this,
249
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:42,062
but we do a dress rehearsal,
and then a live show.
250
00:08:42,354 --> 00:08:43,354
That's tonight.
251
00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:44,523
This is lunch.
252
00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:46,942
If it's not a good fit,
I'll drop the whole thing.
253
00:08:47,234 --> 00:08:49,778
If I meet with Tracy Jordan,
and we mutually agree
254
00:08:50,070 --> 00:08:51,822
that this is
the worst idea ever,
255
00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:53,115
you'll back off?
256
00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:54,700
I'm known for being reasonable.
257
00:08:58,537 --> 00:08:59,537
Okay.
258
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:00,956
Alfredo, 2:00 p.m.
259
00:09:01,248 --> 00:09:02,416
I'm not dressed for that.
260
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:03,948
You're dressed for Burger King.
261
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,201
Should we make it Burger King?
262
00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:08,714
Pete, hang back for me.
263
00:09:09,006 --> 00:09:10,841
Yeah, you bet.
264
00:09:15,846 --> 00:09:19,016
Hey.
265
00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:20,392
What happened to your head?
266
00:09:20,684 --> 00:09:21,852
Uh, the sky is falling.
267
00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:23,562
Do you have a pair
of dress pants
268
00:09:23,854 --> 00:09:25,856
or a skirt or something
I could borrow?
269
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,816
Thank you, Lee.
Whatever.
270
00:09:28,108 --> 00:09:29,610
Hey, you know
in that Cat Lady sketch?
271
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:31,570
Do I have to hold a real cal?
272
00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:33,423
Cat Lady sketch?
That thing's gonna get cut.
273
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:35,324
Oh, good.
274
00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:37,284
Who's that?
275
00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:39,369
That is the new network dude.
276
00:09:39,661 --> 00:09:41,455
Mmm, yummers.
277
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,467
He reminds me of Scotty
on General Hospital.
278
00:09:43,665 --> 00:09:44,958
What?
No, ew, Jenna.
279
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:47,086
Do not like that man.
That is a bad man.
280
00:09:47,377 --> 00:09:48,921
God, you have a gift.
281
00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:51,006
Laura Bush is your size.
282
00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:59,765
♪♪
283
00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:01,517
Hi, uh, what are you
doing down here?
284
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:03,185
I'm known for being hands-on.
285
00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:04,603
Clearly.
286
00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:06,815
That's how you should dress
for work, by the way.
287
00:10:07,022 --> 00:10:09,817
Yeah, if I was president
of the Philippines.
288
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:12,653
♪♪
289
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:14,465
Afghanistan is a different
situation...
290
00:10:16,365 --> 00:10:17,699
I'll have an apple juice.
291
00:10:17,991 --> 00:10:19,351
Oh, we don't have
apple juice, sir.
292
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:22,496
Then I'll take
a vodka and tonic.
293
00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:25,415
Hi, I'm Liz Lemon.
294
00:10:25,707 --> 00:10:27,084
I know who you are.
295
00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:31,547
I thought there was a...
296
00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:34,216
strict dress code at this place.
297
00:10:34,508 --> 00:10:36,260
I do recommend
the pumpkin ravioli.
298
00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:38,011
They're very subtle.
299
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:42,349
So, Tracy, this Jack Donaghy guy
wanted me
300
00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:44,726
to talk to you about
Joining the cast of our show.
301
00:10:45,018 --> 00:10:46,770
And I don't know
how you feel about that...
302
00:10:47,062 --> 00:10:49,189
Lemme ask you a question.
Everybody at this table.
303
00:10:49,481 --> 00:10:51,733
Did he just say the word
"pumpkin" to me?
304
00:10:52,025 --> 00:10:55,112
Yes, um, pumpkin ravioli.
305
00:10:55,404 --> 00:10:56,530
Yo! I'm buggin'.
306
00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:58,699
I can't do this.
I cannot eat here.
307
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:00,117
I can't eat here.
308
00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:02,609
I got to go some place where they
make food that I like.
309
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,166
Lemon, let's go.
310
00:11:07,457 --> 00:11:08,876
I will not work
with Tracy Jordan.
311
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:10,168
It's just a rumor.
312
00:11:10,335 --> 00:11:11,615
Have you seen any of his movies?
313
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:13,397
The guy's sensibility
is just cretinous.
314
00:11:13,630 --> 00:11:14,923
I saw the one where he plays,
315
00:11:15,215 --> 00:11:16,717
like, five different characters.
316
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,049
Yeah, Black Cop/White Cop.
317
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:19,386
No.
Um...
318
00:11:19,678 --> 00:11:21,346
Who Dat Ninja?
No, he...
319
00:11:21,638 --> 00:11:24,016
He had to pretend to be
this old lady...
320
00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:25,893
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
321
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:27,185
Goodness gracious!
322
00:11:27,311 --> 00:11:28,854
You hooligans better watch out.
323
00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:31,607
'Cause
this honky grandma be trippin'!
324
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:34,109
Oh, yeah.
That movie was hilarious.
325
00:11:34,401 --> 00:11:36,236
I saw it like five times.
326
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:40,198
Where's the love?
327
00:11:42,951 --> 00:11:45,078
Right on, let me get
two apple chickens
328
00:11:45,370 --> 00:11:46,370
and some pecan waffles.
329
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:49,332
Nothing for me, I...
330
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:51,585
I had, like,
four hot dogs this morning.
331
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:53,045
Eat, Lemon.
Eat!
332
00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:54,755
I hate skinny women.
333
00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:56,215
Hey, Lorna.
334
00:11:56,506 --> 00:11:59,009
Ten beers.
335
00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,261
So, Tracy, we should talk
about the show.
336
00:12:01,553 --> 00:12:02,638
Yeah, I ain't doing it
337
00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:04,210
unless I can get
to do it my way.
338
00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:05,548
You know, I want it to be raw.
339
00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:06,808
HBO-style content.
340
00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:08,894
Well, it's not HBO.
It's TV.
341
00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:11,146
And I don't think
that it's a good fit...
342
00:12:11,438 --> 00:12:13,106
You know, cause
I wanna drop truth bombs.
343
00:12:13,398 --> 00:12:15,359
You know how pissed off I was
when Us Weekly said
344
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:16,651
that I was on crack?
345
00:12:16,693 --> 00:12:17,861
That's racism.
346
00:12:18,153 --> 00:12:19,153
I'm not on crack.
347
00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:20,614
I'm straight up mentally ill!
348
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:21,907
Sure.
349
00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:23,492
I got mental health issues.
350
00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:25,827
Sure, well, you know...
Who doesn't, really?
351
00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:30,832
Hey, has anyone seen Liz?
Or Pete?
352
00:12:31,124 --> 00:12:32,167
She went out.
353
00:12:32,459 --> 00:12:33,978
Well, who's in charge
when they're not here?
354
00:12:34,002 --> 00:12:35,002
I'm in charge.
355
00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:36,797
Oh. Okay.
356
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,800
Um, well, I'm not sure
about this costume.
357
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:41,218
I think it's hot.
358
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:42,803
Thank you.
359
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,137
I'm Jenna, by the way.
360
00:12:44,429 --> 00:12:45,055
Ms. Moroney,
361
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:47,015
I got the hemorrhoid cream
you wanted.
362
00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:52,729
It's for my face.
363
00:12:53,021 --> 00:12:54,815
Well, wherever
you're putting it,
364
00:12:55,107 --> 00:12:56,107
I think it's working.
365
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,090
You know, I don't...
I don't think you'd like it.
366
00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:03,323
'Cause we work a lot of hours,
367
00:13:03,615 --> 00:13:05,450
and it's live TV,
which is risky.
368
00:13:05,742 --> 00:13:06,942
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like risky.
369
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:08,745
See, me and you,
we play the game.
370
00:13:09,037 --> 00:13:10,056
We know how to be acceptable.
371
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,581
Hello, great meeting.
372
00:13:11,873 --> 00:13:12,873
I drink coffee, please.
373
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:14,835
This show is our chance
374
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:16,127
to break the shackles.
375
00:13:16,211 --> 00:13:18,213
'Cause the white dudes
want to see us fail.
376
00:13:18,505 --> 00:13:20,090
What white dudes?
377
00:13:20,382 --> 00:13:21,383
All of 'em.
378
00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:22,968
Jack Donaghy, General Electric,
379
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,970
George Bush, Karl Robe.
380
00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:26,263
Karl Robe, you say?
381
00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:27,555
Affirmative action
382
00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:29,391
was designed to keep women
and minorities
383
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:30,923
in competition with each other.
384
00:13:31,059 --> 00:13:32,728
To distract us while white dudes
385
00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:34,980
inject AIDS
into our chicken nuggets.
386
00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:36,315
That's a metaphor.
387
00:13:36,606 --> 00:13:37,733
Sure.
388
00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,526
You should tell that
to Us Weekly.
389
00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:44,823
Hey, Lemon.
You like karaoke?
390
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:46,115
I know a joint.
391
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:47,318
No, no, ll... I gotta wrap up
392
00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:48,952
this lunch meeting, Tracy.
393
00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:52,956
I'll take you.
I'll take you.
394
00:13:53,248 --> 00:13:55,876
I just gotta make
a quick stop first.
395
00:14:00,088 --> 00:14:01,088
You know what,
396
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,180
when people say
they need to make a quick stop,
397
00:14:03,258 --> 00:14:05,510
they usually mean at the bank
or the store.
398
00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,096
No, thank you.
399
00:14:08,388 --> 00:14:09,556
You know what,
400
00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:11,933
this is for computer classes.
401
00:14:12,225 --> 00:14:13,578
Know why I should do
this TV show, Lemon?
402
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:14,978
I really don't.
403
00:14:15,270 --> 00:14:16,438
To get you rich.
404
00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:18,207
'Cause you know
if I'm on that TV show,
405
00:14:18,231 --> 00:14:19,231
it's gon' blow up.
406
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:20,776
How do you know I'm not rich?
407
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,277
Your teeth.
408
00:14:22,569 --> 00:14:24,329
You got to think
like these strippers, Lemon.
409
00:14:24,571 --> 00:14:26,865
They know the window
of opportunity's
410
00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:28,367
only open for a moment.
411
00:14:28,658 --> 00:14:30,018
You gotta get in
when you're young.
412
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,200
Get the money and get out.
413
00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:32,996
Yeah, well,
I'm not a sex worker, Tracy.
414
00:14:33,288 --> 00:14:34,488
I don't have sex for a living.
415
00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:35,624
Neither do we.
416
00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:37,542
Neither do they.
417
00:14:37,834 --> 00:14:39,711
Yes, they do.
418
00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:52,516
Where is my phone?
419
00:14:57,312 --> 00:15:00,649
♪ We are strong ♪
420
00:15:00,941 --> 00:15:05,904
♪ No one can tell us
we're wrong ♪
421
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:10,075
♪ Searching our hearts
for so lo-ong ♪♪
422
00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:11,993
He's got charisma.
423
00:15:12,285 --> 00:15:15,956
No, that's Charisma over there.
424
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:18,959
Girlie Show.
425
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:20,585
Ken, send me a car, okay?
426
00:15:20,877 --> 00:15:21,877
What is your location?
427
00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:24,548
Dark Sensations, in the Bronx.
428
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,216
I wish you were here.
429
00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:28,844
Mr. Donaghy does not get
us showbiz people.
430
00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:30,720
Let me talk to Pete, okay?
431
00:15:31,012 --> 00:15:32,681
Oh, Pete got fired this morning.
432
00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:34,850
That's so weird
that you don't know that.
433
00:15:42,190 --> 00:15:44,651
Jack Donaghy thinks
he's gonna come into my house
434
00:15:44,943 --> 00:15:45,943
and mess with my show?
435
00:15:46,194 --> 00:15:47,320
Hell no.
436
00:15:47,612 --> 00:15:49,448
Jenna and I worked for years
437
00:15:49,739 --> 00:15:50,739
to get this show.
438
00:15:50,907 --> 00:15:53,034
You know, I moved
from Chicago for this.
439
00:15:53,326 --> 00:15:54,326
From Chicago?
440
00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:56,246
I was in
Scottie Pippen's wedding.
441
00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:58,832
Now Donaghy is trying
to steal it from us.
442
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:03,044
He already fired Pete,
who is a great producer.
443
00:16:03,336 --> 00:16:05,797
He fired Pete?
He can't fire Pete.
444
00:16:06,089 --> 00:16:07,716
You know what, I quit.
He can suck it.
445
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:09,008
Mm-hmm.
446
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,218
Yeah, suck it, Pete.
447
00:16:10,510 --> 00:16:11,928
No, you're not listening.
448
00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:14,556
You're not a good listener.
449
00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:15,848
20 minutes to air.
450
00:16:16,099 --> 00:16:18,019
But Liz said we were cutting
the cat lady sketch.
451
00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:19,603
She said it stinks.
Ouch.
452
00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:21,021
This is why Liz is wrong.
453
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,273
Animal humor is universal.
454
00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:25,085
I just don't think
that I'm good in it.
455
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:26,437
Do you think I'm good in it?
456
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:27,890
I think this is your opportunity
457
00:16:27,944 --> 00:16:29,584
to go out there
and prove everybody wrong.
458
00:16:29,779 --> 00:16:31,490
What... what do you mean?
Who's everybody?
459
00:16:31,781 --> 00:16:33,092
The network that wanted
to fire you,
460
00:16:33,116 --> 00:16:35,036
the focus groups that said
you had a weird eye...
461
00:16:35,118 --> 00:16:36,118
You mean this eye?
462
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:37,763
Okay, this eye...
It doesn't open all the way
463
00:16:37,787 --> 00:16:39,748
because when I was little,
my sister peed in it.
464
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,142
Tonight is your opportunity
to go out there
465
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:42,375
and change all of our minds.
466
00:16:42,667 --> 00:16:44,794
What?
467
00:16:45,086 --> 00:16:46,796
Where is Liz?
468
00:16:47,088 --> 00:16:48,340
Liz?!
469
00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:50,673
♪ Yo yo yo, Go, baby pop ♪
470
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:52,677
♪ Yeah, you come
and give me a kiss ♪
471
00:16:52,969 --> 00:16:56,264
♪ Better make it fast,
or else I'm gonna get busy ♪
472
00:16:56,556 --> 00:16:58,266
♪ Can't you hear the music
pumping hard ♪
473
00:16:58,558 --> 00:16:59,638
♪ Like I wish you would ♪
474
00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,436
Four minutes to air.
475
00:17:01,728 --> 00:17:02,808
That's four minutes to air.
476
00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:03,897
Is Liz back yet?
477
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:06,233
No, which cat
do you want Jenna to carry?
478
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:07,525
I'm sorry?
479
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:09,236
Which cat?
Oh.
480
00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:12,739
I want... that one.
481
00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:15,450
Jack Donaghy
to the control room, please.
482
00:17:15,742 --> 00:17:16,742
Jack Donaghy.
483
00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:17,953
Peanut's not an actor.
484
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:19,805
I just... I just
rescued him from a lab.
485
00:17:24,417 --> 00:17:26,711
Hey, Lemon, I'll drop you off.
486
00:17:27,003 --> 00:17:28,547
Where do you live?
487
00:17:28,838 --> 00:17:30,257
The studio.
488
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:31,949
I want you to drop me
at the studio.
489
00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:34,344
I want to tell Donaghey
to his face that I quit.
490
00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,405
And I want to do it
in front of the whole crew,
491
00:17:36,429 --> 00:17:38,348
so that they know
he didn't fire me.
492
00:17:39,891 --> 00:17:41,142
I wanna see that.
493
00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:45,522
♪ Gonna turn the lights
down low ♪
494
00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:47,524
♪ It's almost time
for the Girlie Show ♪
495
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:50,735
♪♪
496
00:17:51,027 --> 00:17:53,071
Ooh, ooh, pull over.
Pull over here.
497
00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:55,198
Tracy, I don't have time
for this.
498
00:17:55,490 --> 00:17:59,661
♪♪
499
00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:01,329
This is where I grew up.
500
00:18:03,206 --> 00:18:05,458
This is the Jordan
family estate?
501
00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:08,253
Wasn't no Jordan family nothin'.
502
00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:10,255
This is where I was
in foster care.
503
00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:12,215
Oh. Sorry.
504
00:18:12,507 --> 00:18:13,717
Me and two other dudes
505
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:15,329
and a girl
with messed-up fingers.
506
00:18:16,886 --> 00:18:19,556
I'm so lucky I got out of here.
507
00:18:21,516 --> 00:18:23,184
It's not luck, I mean...
508
00:18:23,476 --> 00:18:24,603
You got out of here
509
00:18:24,894 --> 00:18:26,771
because you're
very talented, and...
510
00:18:27,063 --> 00:18:29,065
people love you, and...
511
00:18:29,357 --> 00:18:30,692
Are you peeing?
512
00:18:36,072 --> 00:18:37,072
♪♪
513
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:38,450
Where's Donaghy?
514
00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:39,942
I wanna talk to him right now.
515
00:18:40,118 --> 00:18:42,078
Last time I saw him,
he was riding a crane camera.
516
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:45,123
Oh, I have Pete for you.
517
00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:46,666
Pete, oh, my God.
I didn't know.
518
00:18:46,958 --> 00:18:47,959
No, hey, listen.
519
00:18:48,251 --> 00:18:49,353
It'll... it'll give me a chance
520
00:18:49,377 --> 00:18:50,657
to spend more time with my kids.
521
00:18:50,754 --> 00:18:52,064
I'm quitting.
I'm quitting right now.
522
00:18:52,088 --> 00:18:52,797
No, no, no, no, no.
523
00:18:53,089 --> 00:18:54,409
You have the best job
in New York.
524
00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:56,511
Don't quit over this.
Don't buy all the hot dogs.
525
00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:57,718
Okay?
526
00:18:57,761 --> 00:18:59,304
I don't want to do this
without you.
527
00:18:59,596 --> 00:19:01,848
Hey, I thought we cut
the Cat Lady sketch.
528
00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:07,020
We're two minutes short!
529
00:19:08,980 --> 00:19:10,357
So, let me introduce myself.
530
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:12,651
My name is Lurleen Katz.
531
00:19:12,942 --> 00:19:16,112
And these are my cats.
532
00:19:16,404 --> 00:19:17,656
She's using a real cat?
533
00:19:17,947 --> 00:19:19,658
I cast that cat myself.
534
00:19:19,949 --> 00:19:21,409
And sir, while they are my...
535
00:19:21,701 --> 00:19:22,701
Ow!
536
00:19:25,413 --> 00:19:26,623
Aaugh!
537
00:19:28,291 --> 00:19:29,793
No, no, no, no, no.
He's okay.
538
00:19:31,419 --> 00:19:32,921
I need you to talk
for two minutes.
539
00:19:33,213 --> 00:19:34,547
About what?
540
00:19:34,839 --> 00:19:35,465
Anything.
541
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:38,718
All right.
542
00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:40,570
These cats are more
than just pets, sir.
543
00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:42,389
Why, just this morning...
Excuse me!
544
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:43,932
Where is the manager?
545
00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:45,767
I'm from the government,
and I'm here
546
00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:47,936
to inspect your chicken nuggets.
547
00:19:52,565 --> 00:19:54,567
Uh-oh.
Look at Shorty.
548
00:19:54,859 --> 00:19:57,946
This honky grandma be trippin'.
549
00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:02,492
What's up, America?
550
00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:05,453
I'm coming into your house live.
551
00:20:05,745 --> 00:20:08,289
Lemme hear you say
"We love you, Tracy."
552
00:20:08,581 --> 00:20:10,458
We love you, Tracy!
553
00:20:10,750 --> 00:20:13,294
I am the third heat!
554
00:20:15,171 --> 00:20:16,840
Yeah!
555
00:20:17,132 --> 00:20:18,216
That was pretty good.
556
00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:24,639
Are you drunk?
557
00:20:24,931 --> 00:20:26,057
Yes.
558
00:20:26,349 --> 00:20:27,976
Why did you fire Pete?
559
00:20:28,268 --> 00:20:29,548
Why did you disappear all night?
560
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:31,048
Is this some kind
of a power play?
561
00:20:31,187 --> 00:20:31,855
Yeah, yeah.
562
00:20:32,147 --> 00:20:33,427
It's not so fun being "hands on"
563
00:20:33,648 --> 00:20:34,888
with these bloodsuckers, is it?
564
00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:36,343
Could we talk about this
on Monday?
565
00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:38,153
No. I want Pete back.
566
00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:40,864
I want it in writing
that Jenna's job is safe,
567
00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:43,324
and I want a cappuccino machine
568
00:20:43,616 --> 00:20:44,616
for the writers' room.
569
00:20:44,784 --> 00:20:46,286
Fine.
570
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,163
I thought you were
going to quit.
571
00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:50,295
Yeah, well, you don't know
everything about me.
572
00:20:50,498 --> 00:20:52,625
You weigh 127 pounds.
573
00:20:55,712 --> 00:20:57,046
Yeah.
574
00:21:04,512 --> 00:21:05,597
Thank you, good night.
575
00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:06,890
Sleep tight.
576
00:21:07,182 --> 00:21:08,182
Hey.
577
00:21:08,224 --> 00:21:10,560
You will be hearing
from Peanut's lawyer.
578
00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:13,646
Good night, sleep tight.
579
00:21:13,938 --> 00:21:17,358
I can't wait to do this
with you every week.
39580
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