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1
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,030
[birds chirping]
2
00:00:08,270 --> 00:00:12,910
Oh, man, these beauties
would diaper up real nice.
3
00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:14,610
[Homer singsongy]
Dad!
4
00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:16,580
We've got wonderful news.
5
00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:20,460
It's a gift we've been hoping
to give you for years.
6
00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:22,700
You're finally
off the wait list.
7
00:00:22,830 --> 00:00:24,830
A better room opened up.
8
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,640
[gasps] Hot diggity!
9
00:00:26,740 --> 00:00:28,070
Not diggity.
10
00:00:28,110 --> 00:00:29,640
This room is tiny.
11
00:00:29,740 --> 00:00:30,840
How's it better?
12
00:00:30,940 --> 00:00:33,480
Better for us. It's cheaper.
13
00:00:33,550 --> 00:00:34,920
Much cheaper.
14
00:00:35,020 --> 00:00:36,990
Wouldn't you rather
we spend that money
15
00:00:37,060 --> 00:00:39,060
on your grandkids' education?
16
00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:41,170
No! They're dumb as dirt.
17
00:00:41,270 --> 00:00:43,070
Look on the bright side.
18
00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:45,710
You're right next
to the ice machine.
19
00:00:45,740 --> 00:00:47,580
[ice dispensing loudly]
20
00:00:48,610 --> 00:00:50,120
And the pill machine.
21
00:00:50,220 --> 00:00:52,350
[pills dispensing loudly]
22
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,630
And how about
this beautiful view
23
00:00:55,730 --> 00:00:58,530
they painted on
the cinder block wall?
24
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,240
It's too bright!
25
00:01:00,270 --> 00:01:02,370
And what about all my stuff?
26
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:04,510
You'll just have to
get rid of some of it.
27
00:01:04,650 --> 00:01:06,680
And once you're used to
this smaller space,
28
00:01:06,750 --> 00:01:10,620
it'll ease your transition
to a cozy pine box.
29
00:01:10,690 --> 00:01:13,360
Pine? You promised me
black walnut.
30
00:01:13,460 --> 00:01:15,600
Oh, of course, of course.
31
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:17,640
Only the best for my dad.
32
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,790
What about this shoe tree?
33
00:01:24,850 --> 00:01:26,590
Does it bring you joy?
34
00:01:26,660 --> 00:01:28,490
It makes me furious!
35
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:29,730
I'm keeping it.
36
00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:33,270
Whoa, Grampa, what's all this?
37
00:01:33,340 --> 00:01:35,880
Eh, that's just
all my old war stuff.
38
00:01:35,980 --> 00:01:36,940
Can I have it?
39
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,680
Oh, it warms my heart to
know my precious memories
40
00:01:40,820 --> 00:01:44,460
are going to someone
who will cherish them.
41
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:49,440
So how much will you give me
for all this crap?
42
00:01:49,570 --> 00:01:52,880
Well, most of these medals
are for cowardice.
43
00:01:52,940 --> 00:01:55,550
Does this thing even work?
44
00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,620
Mm, four, three, two...
45
00:01:59,690 --> 00:02:00,690
Nothing.
46
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,930
I'll give you
a hundred dollars store credit.
47
00:02:03,030 --> 00:02:05,030
A hundred dollars? Awesome!
48
00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:07,770
No switchblades
or cyanide pills.
49
00:02:07,810 --> 00:02:08,940
[sputters] Damn it.
50
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,510
Eh, nah.
51
00:02:11,580 --> 00:02:12,850
Mm-mm. [scoffs]
52
00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:14,520
Mm-mm. Nope.
53
00:02:14,590 --> 00:02:15,620
[scoffs]
54
00:02:15,650 --> 00:02:16,920
[groans, scoffs]
55
00:02:17,060 --> 00:02:17,930
Ooh!
56
00:02:18,060 --> 00:02:20,630
Army comic book about "VD"?
57
00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:23,370
Why wouldn't I want
to catch Valentine's Day?
58
00:02:24,140 --> 00:02:26,180
Oh, my God, are you there?
59
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,110
It's me, Margaret.
60
00:02:28,210 --> 00:02:29,350
[angelic choir sings]
61
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:31,920
-Is that...
-You better believe it.
62
00:02:31,990 --> 00:02:33,660
A human brain.
63
00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,700
My life up to now
has been merely a prelude.
64
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:40,740
Today a prank king
becomes a prank god.
65
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:42,640
I want to buy your brain!
66
00:02:42,740 --> 00:02:45,950
[heavy metal version of
"The Simpsons Theme" playing]
67
00:02:57,610 --> 00:02:59,340
[beeping]
68
00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:10,260
[tires squealing]
69
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:17,980
[cat yowls]
70
00:03:19,180 --> 00:03:21,450
[all exclaim, scream]
71
00:03:21,550 --> 00:03:23,220
[laughing]
72
00:03:25,860 --> 00:03:27,570
So you see, Comptroller Atkins,
73
00:03:27,670 --> 00:03:29,540
we have put
your new funding to use.
74
00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:32,810
We've redone the cafeteria floor
and the ceiling,
75
00:03:32,910 --> 00:03:35,480
and we've added
exciting new menu options.
76
00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:36,650
Indeed.
77
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,760
Today the children are enjoying
a panoply of nutrition.
78
00:03:39,860 --> 00:03:43,300
Split pea soup, clam chowder,
both varietals.
79
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,500
Bart, are you really
gonna do it?
80
00:03:45,570 --> 00:03:48,310
Guys, it's me, the Bartman.
81
00:03:48,340 --> 00:03:49,410
[chuckles]
82
00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:51,280
This is happening.
83
00:03:51,380 --> 00:03:53,880
Venison chili, beef bourguignon,
84
00:03:53,950 --> 00:03:55,550
a vibrant Indian curry--
85
00:03:55,620 --> 00:03:58,890
And best of all,
brain under glass!
86
00:03:58,990 --> 00:04:01,670
[students gasping, gagging]
87
00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:05,740
[Skinner]
Bart, you did
far more damage today
88
00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:08,580
than just ruined
some administrators' suits.
89
00:04:08,650 --> 00:04:11,120
We may be wearing clothes
from the lost and found,
90
00:04:11,180 --> 00:04:13,320
but you are truly lost.
91
00:04:13,390 --> 00:04:15,630
Today you traumatized
scores of students,
92
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:18,570
rendered the cafeteria
uninhabitable for weeks.
93
00:04:18,630 --> 00:04:21,040
And worst of all, worst of all,
94
00:04:21,170 --> 00:04:23,580
you-you broke Willie.
95
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:24,910
Chunks.
96
00:04:25,050 --> 00:04:26,780
So many chunks.
97
00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:29,190
What do you have to say
for yourself?
98
00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:30,120
I regret nothing.
99
00:04:30,260 --> 00:04:32,730
I'll gladly accept whatever book
you throw at me,
100
00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:36,170
because there's no way
I could ever live with myself
101
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,140
if I hadn't done this today.
102
00:04:38,210 --> 00:04:40,340
So give me all the F's,
send me to juvie
103
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,880
or even kill me,
because I'm already immortal.
104
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,050
And when I do die--
105
00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:46,260
Oh, shut up.
106
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,060
Four weeks' detention
and you're not going
107
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,460
on the trip
to Colonial Shelbyville.
108
00:04:50,530 --> 00:04:52,640
You will be confined
to the detention trailer
109
00:04:52,670 --> 00:04:54,640
while other students
delight in learning
110
00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:56,680
how bricks were once made.
111
00:04:56,740 --> 00:04:58,880
Um, Principal Skinner, if I may.
112
00:04:58,980 --> 00:05:00,950
I believe we can deal
with Bart's behavior
113
00:05:01,020 --> 00:05:02,720
in a more constructive way.
114
00:05:02,790 --> 00:05:05,730
Turn this into
a learning opportunity.
115
00:05:05,830 --> 00:05:08,100
[Chalmers]
It's not a learning opportunity.
116
00:05:08,170 --> 00:05:09,540
It's a punishing opportunity.
117
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,040
The boy should suffer.
118
00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:12,810
He brought
a human brain to school.
119
00:05:12,910 --> 00:05:16,980
Exactly. And I think he should
bring it to school every day.
120
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:18,320
Learn to take care of it,
121
00:05:18,390 --> 00:05:20,790
journal his experience,
gain a sense of
122
00:05:20,860 --> 00:05:24,500
[in slow motion]
responsibility.
123
00:05:24,570 --> 00:05:26,370
No, no, please don't do this!
124
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:27,810
I'm begging you!
125
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:31,050
Pale skin, sweaty lip,
twitchy eye.
126
00:05:31,110 --> 00:05:32,510
Now, that's suffering.
127
00:05:32,580 --> 00:05:34,850
Ms. Peyton, make it so.
128
00:05:35,650 --> 00:05:37,860
[Skinner and Chalmers laughing]
129
00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:39,700
[groans]
Oh!
130
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:43,640
My greatest prank
has become homework.
131
00:05:48,450 --> 00:05:50,680
For the next two weeks,
everyone is responsible
132
00:05:50,820 --> 00:05:54,290
for the care and protection
of a fragile and helpless egg.
133
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,230
Or in Bart's case, a brain.
134
00:05:56,260 --> 00:05:57,700
[students]
Ew!
135
00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,540
[groans] I don't want to lug
this thing everywhere I go.
136
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:01,940
I had my fun for five minutes,
137
00:06:02,010 --> 00:06:04,010
and now I want
to move on with my life.
138
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,580
And that's parenthood.
139
00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:09,760
Aw, man, how do I even know
this thing's mine?
140
00:06:09,790 --> 00:06:13,900
Um, I'm going out
for candy cigarettes.
141
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,440
Be right back, slugger.
142
00:06:16,540 --> 00:06:19,780
Be sure to keep your
caregiver journal up to date,
143
00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:22,310
because that's
what you'll be graded on.
144
00:06:22,410 --> 00:06:24,550
[groans] Using a human brain
for homework?
145
00:06:24,650 --> 00:06:27,160
That's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.
146
00:06:27,260 --> 00:06:29,430
[Bart's brain]
You know, Bart,
I'm your brain, too,
147
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,870
and I can help you study
all your subjects.
148
00:06:31,970 --> 00:06:35,210
Shut up, stupid, or I'll go back
to sniffing permanent markers!
149
00:06:35,310 --> 00:06:36,640
[Bart's brain]
I'll be good.
150
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,490
[over TV]
♪ The Itchy and Scratchy Show. ♪
151
00:06:58,550 --> 00:07:00,390
Hey, Bart, do you really think
152
00:07:00,490 --> 00:07:02,360
Itchy and Scratchy
is appropriate
153
00:07:02,460 --> 00:07:04,800
for a developing mind?
154
00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:06,330
It's not a baby.
155
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,710
It's a glop of gunk
in a jar of goo.
156
00:07:09,940 --> 00:07:12,080
Your baby journal's
pretty empty.
157
00:07:12,180 --> 00:07:15,220
Are you sure this isn't
your second fake kid?
158
00:07:15,290 --> 00:07:17,490
[laughing]
159
00:07:19,460 --> 00:07:21,400
Oh, this sucks.
I need some me time.
160
00:07:21,460 --> 00:07:23,400
I'm going to Milhouse's
to watch reaction videos
161
00:07:23,470 --> 00:07:24,810
to reaction videos.
162
00:07:24,910 --> 00:07:27,650
Your teacher wouldn't like
you leaving your baby all alone.
163
00:07:27,710 --> 00:07:29,150
Unless you get a sitter.
164
00:07:29,210 --> 00:07:32,290
Last minute? I'll never find
someone on such short notice.
165
00:07:32,350 --> 00:07:33,660
Unless...
166
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:37,200
Uh, Dad, would you watch
your grandson tonight?
167
00:07:37,260 --> 00:07:40,140
[scoffs] No. I told you
to get rid of it, remember?
168
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,010
Oh, come on, please?
169
00:07:42,110 --> 00:07:43,840
I need some me time.
170
00:07:43,910 --> 00:07:46,050
Well, I guess I could give it
the same love
171
00:07:46,110 --> 00:07:48,620
and attention I gave you
when you were a baby.
172
00:07:48,690 --> 00:07:50,590
I'm sorry, Homer.
173
00:07:50,660 --> 00:07:53,160
I'm not accepting organs
as payment.
174
00:07:53,260 --> 00:07:54,260
Anymore.
175
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:55,700
Nah, it's just my kid's brain.
176
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:56,970
They grow up so fast.
177
00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:01,610
Guys, I just found out I'm next
on the list for a new liver!
178
00:08:01,710 --> 00:08:03,320
-[cheering]
-Yay!
-All right!
179
00:08:03,380 --> 00:08:04,720
Then let's give the old liver
180
00:08:04,820 --> 00:08:06,920
one last night
he'll never forget.
181
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,160
Set 'em up, Moe.
182
00:08:08,260 --> 00:08:09,830
[chanting]
One last night!
183
00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:11,430
-One last night!
-[Barney exclaims]
184
00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:13,770
[upbeat video game music
playing]
185
00:08:14,940 --> 00:08:17,210
[video game announcer]
Atomic wedgie!
186
00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:24,560
Oh, it feels so good
to get out of the house
187
00:08:24,630 --> 00:08:26,930
and away from
that stupid needy brain.
188
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,200
Am I right?
189
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,800
I'm enjoying being a Dad.
190
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:32,680
I can fix the mistakes
my parents made with me.
191
00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:35,010
[video game announcer]
Player two loses.
192
00:08:35,110 --> 00:08:35,910
[frustrated shout]
193
00:08:35,980 --> 00:08:38,450
I'm a failure because of you!
194
00:08:38,550 --> 00:08:40,190
[video game announcer]
Bonus humiliation.
195
00:08:40,260 --> 00:08:42,260
Defile him.
196
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,000
Aw, kind of reminds me
of my little guy.
197
00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:49,540
Uh... [stammers]
not that I care or anything.
198
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,110
Boys, I made you
a healthy snack,
199
00:08:52,180 --> 00:08:54,790
roasted cauliflower.
200
00:08:56,690 --> 00:08:58,060
[Bart]
Aw, look at him there.
201
00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,460
So cute on that plate.
202
00:09:00,530 --> 00:09:02,700
Maybe I should get home.
203
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:06,140
Sweet.
More roastie-collies for me.
204
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:13,420
Oh, where is Dad with my brain?
They should be home by now.
205
00:09:13,490 --> 00:09:14,490
[car door closes outside]
206
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:16,460
Ugh, finally.
207
00:09:16,530 --> 00:09:18,470
It's about time,
you good-for-nothing!
208
00:09:18,570 --> 00:09:20,600
Relax, Marge.
209
00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:22,780
The baby's fine.
210
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,480
Oh, there you are.
211
00:09:24,580 --> 00:09:26,150
Oh, my sweet little precious...
212
00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:28,750
-[screams] Pickled eggs!
-[glass shatters]
213
00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:30,390
Where's my brain?!
214
00:09:30,460 --> 00:09:32,190
Oh, must've gotten mixed up.
215
00:09:32,260 --> 00:09:33,330
Two jars.
216
00:09:33,430 --> 00:09:35,330
[chuckles]
We were making 'em kiss.
217
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,800
He's too young for kissing.
218
00:09:36,870 --> 00:09:39,010
I got to go find him.
219
00:09:40,140 --> 00:09:42,380
What happened to that brain
my dad had?
220
00:09:42,450 --> 00:09:44,520
Well, years of drinking,
221
00:09:44,590 --> 00:09:46,320
not to mention
all that nuclear stuff,
222
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:49,390
and, uh, I don't think it was
all that great to begin with.
223
00:09:49,490 --> 00:09:51,730
The one in the jar.
224
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:52,930
Oh, that. Oh. [chuckles]
225
00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:55,510
I left that in the alley
for the raccoons.
226
00:09:55,540 --> 00:09:57,480
They'll eat tonight. [chuckles]
227
00:09:57,540 --> 00:09:59,310
-[gasps] No!
-[raccoons chittering]
228
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:01,420
[whimpers]
229
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,120
[sighs]
230
00:10:03,190 --> 00:10:04,390
Huh?
231
00:10:04,490 --> 00:10:07,360
Nicotine beef jerky?
232
00:10:07,430 --> 00:10:09,030
I know who took you.
233
00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:11,370
[chewing noisily]
234
00:10:13,140 --> 00:10:14,780
I'm so jerked-up.
235
00:10:14,850 --> 00:10:17,550
I feel like
I smoked a whole cow.
236
00:10:17,620 --> 00:10:19,820
Let's mess up this brain.
237
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,590
[Bart]
Leave it alone!
238
00:10:21,690 --> 00:10:22,830
That's my brain!
239
00:10:22,930 --> 00:10:23,930
After we blow it up,
240
00:10:24,030 --> 00:10:25,570
you can have the biggest chunk.
241
00:10:25,630 --> 00:10:26,940
This isn't some frog
242
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,340
where you can put a firecracker
in its butt.
243
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:30,780
It's a living thing,
244
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,750
and it's my job
to take care of it
245
00:10:32,820 --> 00:10:35,250
and teach it to do
cool stuff like, um,
246
00:10:35,350 --> 00:10:38,660
paintball and-and
pooping in jack-o'-lanterns.
247
00:10:38,730 --> 00:10:41,200
So hands off my brain!
248
00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:42,670
Okay, okay.
249
00:10:42,730 --> 00:10:45,370
You can have
your stupid head cheese.
250
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:47,940
Don't worry.
I'm taking you home.
251
00:10:48,780 --> 00:10:51,920
I wonder if
anyone will ever love me
252
00:10:51,990 --> 00:10:54,760
the way he loves that brain.
253
00:10:54,860 --> 00:10:56,960
Look, man, I'm gonna
take better care of you.
254
00:10:57,030 --> 00:10:58,630
You're the only brain I've got.
255
00:10:58,730 --> 00:11:00,140
You need a name, bud.
256
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,710
Wait. Buddy.
257
00:11:01,770 --> 00:11:04,110
Perfect! 'Cause you're my buddy.
258
00:11:04,180 --> 00:11:07,880
Also I don't want to think
about this any harder.
259
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,130
[Bart]
Thursday, May 14th.
260
00:11:12,230 --> 00:11:14,430
Buddy and I had
quite the adventure tonight.
261
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:17,570
I realized he's more than
just some dumb prank
262
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:19,240
or a homework assignment.
263
00:11:19,340 --> 00:11:21,750
He's a badass like me.
264
00:11:24,790 --> 00:11:26,190
-[fingers snap]
-Garçon!
265
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:28,760
Another high chair
for my associate here.
266
00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:34,040
[groans]
You brought your jar friend.
267
00:11:34,070 --> 00:11:36,310
Oh, I get it.
Buddy's a little different.
268
00:11:36,370 --> 00:11:37,980
But he's my responsibility.
269
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,820
Plus he's pretty cool.
270
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:43,560
Well, uh, maybe he can be
under the table.
271
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,760
Whoa! Buddy's my plus-one.
272
00:11:45,790 --> 00:11:47,970
Would you rather me
bring Milhouse?
273
00:11:48,030 --> 00:11:50,870
No, no, no, no, no.
No one said Milhouse.
274
00:11:50,940 --> 00:11:52,670
Simpsons, a-welcome.
275
00:11:52,740 --> 00:11:54,910
Oh, my favorite a-family.
276
00:11:55,010 --> 00:11:57,280
A-Homer, a-Marge, a-Lisa,
277
00:11:57,380 --> 00:12:00,120
a-Maggie, a-Bart, a-brain.
278
00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:01,420
A-brain?!
279
00:12:01,530 --> 00:12:04,930
[praying in Latin]
280
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,640
It's okay, it's okay.
281
00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:08,310
It's just a school project.
282
00:12:08,410 --> 00:12:10,940
Good a-news.
A table, she just open up
283
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:12,780
in a-private dining room.
284
00:12:12,850 --> 00:12:15,290
[winded]
You can... go into...
285
00:12:15,350 --> 00:12:17,060
[panting]
286
00:12:18,830 --> 00:12:20,360
My pasta's cold.
287
00:12:20,430 --> 00:12:22,230
Everything's cold!
288
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,880
Ugh, this brain business
will not be good for Bart
289
00:12:27,950 --> 00:12:29,350
if he keeps it up.
290
00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:32,490
Oh, come on, think of all the
worse stuff he could be doing.
291
00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:34,120
Or all the worse stuff
he's done.
292
00:12:34,190 --> 00:12:35,360
He named it!
293
00:12:35,460 --> 00:12:38,100
And I think he gave it
a bite of tiramisu.
294
00:12:38,170 --> 00:12:40,670
[sighs]
This is different for Bart.
295
00:12:40,770 --> 00:12:44,010
What if he becomes
the town weirdo?
296
00:12:44,110 --> 00:12:45,980
Oh, weirdos aren't
what they used to be.
297
00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:49,620
They start computer companies
or own the Las Vegas Raiders.
298
00:12:49,690 --> 00:12:51,360
Or become serial killers.
299
00:12:51,460 --> 00:12:54,730
But still, his odds are
at least two out of three.
300
00:12:54,830 --> 00:12:56,340
Children label each other.
301
00:12:56,440 --> 00:13:00,310
Bart's in danger of becoming
"The Brain Boy."
302
00:13:00,410 --> 00:13:01,480
You worry too much.
303
00:13:01,550 --> 00:13:03,720
Remember when you thought
Lisa was going to hell
304
00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:05,620
because she was a vegetarian?
305
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,090
I still think that.
306
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:10,000
Excellent work
on your egg projects, class.
307
00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:13,540
And your parenting journals
were really inspired.
308
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,870
An A-plus? I can't believe it.
309
00:13:15,970 --> 00:13:17,010
I've never gotten one of those.
310
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,980
I thought those were just
for suck-wads like Martin.
311
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,650
Okay, everybody,
you did a great job,
312
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:25,130
so it's time
to turn in your eggs.
313
00:13:25,190 --> 00:13:27,830
Whoa, hold on there.
I am not giving you Buddy.
314
00:13:27,930 --> 00:13:30,240
Well, one of the hardest parts
of parenting
315
00:13:30,270 --> 00:13:32,580
is watching your child move on.
316
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:34,440
To be Willy's breakfast.
317
00:13:34,550 --> 00:13:36,820
[laughing]
318
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,590
Your brain can have a home
319
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:40,760
on a shelf
in the school science lab.
320
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,000
[grunts] Buddy hates science.
321
00:13:43,060 --> 00:13:45,230
He's like me.
He's into MeatCanyon videos
322
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:46,740
and doing wrestling moves
on the dog
323
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:48,540
and pouring Red Bull
on pancakes!
324
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,810
Bart, it might be healthy
for you
325
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,080
to take a break from Buddy.
326
00:13:53,150 --> 00:13:54,920
And it might be healthy for you
to have your own kid
327
00:13:55,020 --> 00:13:56,620
and not live through us!
328
00:13:57,420 --> 00:14:01,770
I never should've told you
that we were trying!
329
00:14:01,870 --> 00:14:04,340
Don't you worry. It'll work out.
330
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,880
It's only been three months.
Give it time.
331
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:12,660
Ah, wifeless shopping,
332
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,030
where all the meat is nuggets
333
00:14:15,090 --> 00:14:17,800
and the produce section
doesn't exist.
334
00:14:17,860 --> 00:14:19,130
Ooh, the candy aisle.
335
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,070
Formerly known as cereal.
336
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:23,340
[humming happily]
337
00:14:25,050 --> 00:14:27,650
I don't care if he is
Milhouse's best friend.
338
00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:29,320
He's just weird.
339
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:31,890
And not the kind
with "a diagnosis"
340
00:14:31,990 --> 00:14:33,360
that we have to like now.
341
00:14:33,460 --> 00:14:36,100
My JJ says that he talks
to the brain
342
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:37,740
when no one's looking.
343
00:14:37,770 --> 00:14:39,210
My little Seymour says the kids
344
00:14:39,270 --> 00:14:42,450
all call him "Brain Boy"
behind his back.
345
00:14:42,510 --> 00:14:45,790
Hmm. I wonder
who they're talking about.
346
00:14:45,890 --> 00:14:46,920
Moleman?
347
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,460
Well, whatever
they're calling him,
348
00:14:48,530 --> 00:14:51,360
I don't want Bart Simpson
around my son.
349
00:14:55,540 --> 00:14:59,250
No surprise to me that Bart
Simpson has become a weirdo.
350
00:14:59,350 --> 00:15:01,420
[whispering]
When I had him in second grade,
351
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:02,960
he ate a booger.
352
00:15:03,020 --> 00:15:05,060
I hear Bart shares his bed
with that brain.
353
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:06,960
Puts a little sleep mask on it.
354
00:15:07,030 --> 00:15:08,470
It's my fault, girls.
355
00:15:08,530 --> 00:15:12,070
I should've noogied him more,
knuckled some sense into him.
356
00:15:12,170 --> 00:15:16,680
He had potential, but I guess
he's just the town freak now.
357
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,450
[sadly]
Haw-haw.
358
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,560
[humming a tune]
359
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:25,970
[panting] Marge, you were right.
360
00:15:26,070 --> 00:15:28,710
Everyone in the store
is calling Bart "Brain Boy."
361
00:15:28,770 --> 00:15:30,380
It's already started
with the yentas.
362
00:15:30,410 --> 00:15:33,280
It won't be long before
it spreads to the slaggards!
363
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:35,350
That's the whole rest
of the town!
364
00:15:35,450 --> 00:15:36,350
Bart is lost.
365
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,030
He won't be known by his name
but by his thing.
366
00:15:39,130 --> 00:15:41,900
Like Comic Book Guy
or Crazy Cat Lady
367
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,440
or Professor Pocket Pool.
368
00:15:44,540 --> 00:15:46,910
Mmm. Mmm.
369
00:15:47,010 --> 00:15:49,080
At least that professor
has lifetime tenure.
370
00:15:49,150 --> 00:15:51,080
Bart's gonna be unemployable.
371
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:53,760
Mom, Dad, I think
I have a suggestion.
372
00:15:53,860 --> 00:15:55,330
[screams]
Little Miss Know-It-All!
373
00:15:55,430 --> 00:15:57,860
I watched
this nature documentary
374
00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,400
that may apply to us.
375
00:15:59,470 --> 00:16:01,770
When a chimp
starts acting strangely,
376
00:16:01,870 --> 00:16:03,910
if it doesn't stop the behavior,
377
00:16:04,010 --> 00:16:06,180
the tribe will
savagely attack it,
378
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:09,450
leaving it scarred
and isolated forever.
379
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:10,490
I knew it.
380
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,160
We need to protect
my special little chimp
381
00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:16,800
from the cruel people
in this town who would shun him.
382
00:16:16,870 --> 00:16:22,350
Yes, we must be the loving
parents who keep him locked up.
383
00:16:23,380 --> 00:16:25,890
[Marge hushed]
Open the door quietly.
384
00:16:25,950 --> 00:16:27,620
[whispering]
You know how squeaky it is.
385
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,160
I told you to oil it.
386
00:16:29,230 --> 00:16:30,800
I'm not an architect.
387
00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:33,100
Your stage whispers
are too loud.
388
00:16:33,170 --> 00:16:34,810
Where are you guys going?
389
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:37,080
Bart! We, um...
390
00:16:37,180 --> 00:16:38,780
We're going to church.
391
00:16:38,850 --> 00:16:40,150
Why didn't you wake me up?
392
00:16:40,220 --> 00:16:41,720
Uh, you hate church.
393
00:16:41,820 --> 00:16:45,630
The itchy pants, the big book
of stuff that never happened.
394
00:16:45,690 --> 00:16:48,400
We thought maybe you'd like
to skip it this week.
395
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:49,640
As a reward.
396
00:16:49,670 --> 00:16:51,870
Uh, for being so normal.
397
00:16:51,940 --> 00:16:52,870
[Homer chuckles nervously]
398
00:16:52,940 --> 00:16:54,340
This is about Buddy, isn't it?
399
00:16:54,410 --> 00:16:56,310
You're ashamed
to be seen with me.
400
00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:58,120
-Of course not.
-No!
401
00:16:58,220 --> 00:17:01,790
Why would we be ashamed
of our son and his BFF,
402
00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:04,160
a jar of human remains?
403
00:17:04,230 --> 00:17:06,070
Look, sweetie,
why don't you just
404
00:17:06,130 --> 00:17:08,540
make yourself
some Red Bull pancakes,
405
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:09,940
put on cartoons,
406
00:17:10,010 --> 00:17:12,180
and we'll be back
before you know it.
407
00:17:12,250 --> 00:17:13,550
Go. Go, go, go, go.
408
00:17:13,650 --> 00:17:14,680
[door closes]
409
00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:20,460
"...two oxen, five he-goats,
410
00:17:20,530 --> 00:17:23,970
"five lambs
of the first year, this..."
411
00:17:24,070 --> 00:17:25,370
[quietly]
It's so boring.
412
00:17:25,470 --> 00:17:28,910
But finally some peace
away from Brain Boy.
413
00:17:28,980 --> 00:17:31,250
I hate to say this,
but you're right.
414
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:34,820
My jaw is unclenched
for the first time in weeks.
415
00:17:34,930 --> 00:17:37,830
[sighing heavily]
416
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:39,570
[Bart]
Sorry I'm late, everyone!
417
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,240
-Good to see ya.
-[congregation gasps]
418
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:44,680
Don't mind us. Just gonna sit
with my loving family.
419
00:17:44,740 --> 00:17:46,180
That's the Brain Boy.
420
00:17:46,250 --> 00:17:49,220
It's so gross and wrinkled.
421
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:52,060
Don't look at him, JJ.
422
00:17:52,090 --> 00:17:54,200
Bart is troubled. Mmm.
423
00:17:54,260 --> 00:17:56,640
So, what episode of Jesus
are we on today?
424
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,940
Is he still talking about
not judging people?
425
00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:00,410
You know, loving your brother?
426
00:18:00,510 --> 00:18:02,750
-Or your son?
-[congregation groaning]
427
00:18:02,850 --> 00:18:04,750
Ugh, Bart, stop it!
428
00:18:04,820 --> 00:18:05,950
This is enough!
429
00:18:06,020 --> 00:18:07,560
Yeah, this isn't just
some little quirk
430
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:10,160
like wearing a fedora
or being a Libertarian.
431
00:18:10,230 --> 00:18:12,730
You got a disgusting brain
in a greasy jar.
432
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:14,070
[scoffs] My family.
433
00:18:14,140 --> 00:18:17,040
You're the ones who always said
you'd love me no matter what.
434
00:18:17,110 --> 00:18:18,380
Unconditionally!
435
00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:21,480
This was
an unforeseen condition!
436
00:18:23,420 --> 00:18:26,600
[gasps] Oh, wait.
I didn't mean that.
437
00:18:26,660 --> 00:18:27,900
Too late, Mom.
438
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,270
Yes, I have a brain in a jar.
So what?
439
00:18:30,340 --> 00:18:32,140
Sideshow Mel has
a human bone in his hair
440
00:18:32,210 --> 00:18:34,040
and nobody talks about that.
441
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:37,020
For your information, weirdo,
442
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,460
this is the femur of a kangaroo!
443
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:44,130
It was given to me
by Yahoo Serious!
444
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,030
Go ahead, laugh and point at me.
445
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:48,440
Call me Brain Boy. I don't care.
446
00:18:48,510 --> 00:18:50,480
I have a friend
who will never judge me,
447
00:18:50,580 --> 00:18:52,550
who's always been there for me:
448
00:18:52,610 --> 00:18:53,580
this brain!
449
00:18:53,650 --> 00:18:56,090
He gets me,
'cause we're one in the same:
450
00:18:56,190 --> 00:18:58,760
badasses who don't play
by society's rules.
451
00:18:58,860 --> 00:19:00,200
We're the Bartmen.
452
00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:02,570
Me and my best pal!
453
00:19:03,740 --> 00:19:06,040
Corbin Everly?
454
00:19:06,110 --> 00:19:08,040
Who's Corbin Everly?
455
00:19:08,110 --> 00:19:09,480
Hold on.
456
00:19:09,620 --> 00:19:11,820
He was a local tax accountant
457
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:13,890
who donated his body to science
458
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:17,360
hoping it could benefit
the world after his passing.
459
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,200
So Buddy's nothing like me?
460
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:22,410
He's not some rude, crude,
prankin' dude
461
00:19:22,510 --> 00:19:24,180
with the freaky fresh 'tude?
462
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:27,720
He was just some guy
named Corbin?
463
00:19:27,780 --> 00:19:31,690
Oh, maybe I shouldn't have been
sloshing him all over town.
464
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,700
Mm. I feel bad for Bart.
465
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:38,570
No boy wants his brain
to turn out to be a nerd.
466
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:41,810
Mom, I don't think I want to be
the Brain Boy anymore.
467
00:19:41,910 --> 00:19:44,050
Oh, sweetie.
468
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:49,230
I'm sorry we weren't more
supportive during this phase.
469
00:19:49,260 --> 00:19:52,130
You hear that?
It was just a phase!
470
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:55,970
♪ It's been a long day ♪
471
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,250
♪ Without you, my friend ♪
472
00:19:58,350 --> 00:20:01,020
♪ And I'll tell you
all about it ♪
473
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:04,860
♪ When I see you again ♪
474
00:20:04,930 --> 00:20:08,200
♪ We've come a long way ♪
475
00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:10,570
♪ From where we began ♪
476
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,840
♪ Oh, I'll tell you
all about it ♪
477
00:20:13,940 --> 00:20:17,150
♪ When I see you again ♪
478
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,420
♪ When I see you again... ♪
479
00:20:19,450 --> 00:20:23,030
Oh, my goodness,
it's the brain of Corbin Everly!
480
00:20:23,130 --> 00:20:25,530
Oh, where have you been,
old chum?
481
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,300
Oh, oh, let's never fight again.
482
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,610
[scoffs] What a weirdo.
483
00:20:31,610 --> 00:20:34,450
♪ Oh, I'll tell you
all about it ♪
484
00:20:34,550 --> 00:20:38,030
♪ When I see you again. ♪
485
00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:41,130
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
486
00:20:41,230 --> 00:20:42,900
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
487
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,440
and TOYOTA.
488
00:20:44,540 --> 00:20:46,610
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
489
00:20:51,180 --> 00:20:53,090
Mom, this is stupid.
I don't want to do this.
490
00:20:53,150 --> 00:20:54,690
No, we're doing this
491
00:20:54,790 --> 00:20:58,770
because I support you
unconditionally.
492
00:21:01,270 --> 00:21:02,510
[snake hisses]
493
00:21:03,580 --> 00:21:06,550
Maybe we should
just get ice cream.
494
00:21:29,630 --> 00:21:31,360
Shh!
35264
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