All language subtitles for rupauls.drag.race.s13e04.1080p.web.h264-secretos

Previously
on RuPaul's Drag Race...

You'll be performing
the song Phenomenon.

♪ Drag is all over the world ♪

♪ It's a phenomenon ♪

Rosé.

Your voice is beautiful.

Denali.

I couldn't take my eyes off you.

You're a winner, baby.

The rest of you are safe.

But starting next week,
heads will roll.

Girl, the winner's circle
is here

waiting for the B squad
to walk in,

and right now, all
I can think about is, bitch,

we look motherfucking good,

and these girls are about
to gag when they walk in.

It's gonna be the face crack
of the century.

Are you girls
excited to see the girls

that you specifically sent home?

Yes.

I feel like they gonna come
in being like daggers.

Well, I mean,
they already lost one,

so you already know they're
coming in here with a vengeance.

- With a vengeance.
- Right, exactly.

You must be freaking out
a little bit.

I mean, it's more kind of,
like, a sickening feeling,

because I kinda get

to actually confront them
for the first time.

Yeah, y'all have
some shit to talk about.

Do you guys think I should be,
like, here when they come in?

I think you should hide, bitch.

You should hide.

I think you should gag
the girls and hide.

Yeah, go back there.

Oh, my God,
they're gonna fucking die.

- Y'all don't know I'm here.
- We don't know nothing.

Don't be over there laughing
either, Miss Two-Twos.

Elliott who?

Hiding Elliott is so devious.

This is so much fun.

All right, girls,
put your faces on.

Okay, that's what's up.

Oh, look.

I see.

We walk into the werkroom

and the fucking other half
of the cast is there

staring at us
like fucking predators.

What's up, girls?

What up, bitches?

Come on, come over here,
come over here!

If it isn't the B squad!

Oh!

Oh, so that's how it is?

- No, that's not how it is!
- Okay.

If it isn't the "anywhere
to go but down" squad.

The other group feels like

there's this,
like, high-noseness.

There is this, like,
air of, mm, we beat you,

and you're gonna go home again.

- Who won y'all's lip sync?
- I did.

Who's the winner over here?

- All right!
- Okay.

Listen, I love to stir the pot.

Wait, the real question
is, though,

so I know some of y'all
sent one girl home, okay?

I sent two girls home.

So Miss Kahmora Hall,
if you're here,

what'd you do with Elliott?

We had to send one of us home,

and unfortunately,
we ended up deciding on Elliott.

What did you judge it on, like...

First impressions.

What was her impression
that sent her home?

Um...

- Elliott?
- Yeah.

Um... that.

I just didn't really get
what her drag style was.

I'm just like, mm, mm, mm.

Ooh, this is tasty, girl. Ha!

What's up, B squad?

How we doing?

Y'all didn't expect to see me,
did you?

The Porkchop queens are gooped

when they see Elliott walk out.

So we have a lot to talk about.

Ooh! Come on, bitch!

Lay it on the table.

When it really comes down to it,

I didn't have any time
to talk about myself,

because I was the last one
in the room.

Kahmora already knew
someone else,

so she already was kind of,
like, good up in the gig.

It was no malice behind it.

It was gonna
have to be one of us.

So why didn't you jump up?

Oh!

Because they didn't vote me.

They voted you.

She attacked the wrong one.

All these chihuahuas beside me,
you gonna go for the pit bull?

No, ma'am.

I know Tamisha Iman
from back in Atlanta,

and that bitch likes to fight.

It was kind of shocking
when it was unanimous for me

when y'all didn't know
nothing about me.

But, you know, now I have
a first impression of all y'all,

so it is what it is.

Okay.

Ooh, you girls are spicy, bitch.

I think the other girls

feel as though they have
the upper edge on us

because they won
their challenge.

Now we are all
the Season 13 sisters.

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

Season 13, bitches!

There's several more rounds
to go in this race.

The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills
cosmetics,

and a cash prize of $100.000.

With extra-special guest judge
Loni Love.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best woman ♪

♪ Best woman win ♪

- Okay! We're here, bitches!
- Whee!

We're still here!

Walking into this werkroom,
I think that the competition

is about to get
next fucking level.

We've got both groups together.

Bitch, the room
is so full right now.

So I'm gonna
have to work really hard

to give 'em the that Joey Jay
experience, girl.

- This is a diverse cast.
- It's a cute cast.

Who's single?
Who's single in the group?

Single-single! You are single.

You're single-single. Single?

You're single.

Oh, my God, Joey Jay is so cute.

And so feminine.
I love feminine boys.

What made you scamper away?

Kandy Muse is, like,

a fun, rambunctious,
like, kid on the schoolyard.

You know, I like that bitch.

If I ain't gonna win the crown,

I'm gonna win a man.

Based on Kandy's reputation
in New York, I was worried.

And so I almost feel a little
bad, because I judged her.

I'm gonna say
you heard it here first.

Tina Burner and Kandy Muse
are kiki sisters.

Hello, hello, hello!

You better come on!

All my queens, together at last.

- Yes!
- Yes!

Now, as much as we've enjoyed

taking the time to get to know

your charisma, uniqueness,
nerve, and talent intimately,

from this moment on,
we're putting the elimination

back into this competition
officially.

That's right.
Before this week is over,

one of you will be going home
for good.

Well, now that I've put you
all in a festive spirit...

for this week's maxi-challenge

you'll be starring
in cheesy holiday movies

for my new media venture,
the RuPaulmark Channel.

But we ain't doin'
one of those Christmas movies.

Uh-uh. No, ma'am.

We are disrupting
the marketplace

with films that celebrate

all the other holidays
of the year.

Now, to mix up
the two groups of queens,

I've taken the liberty
to assign teams.

Shit. Here we go.

Then each team will assign
the individual roles.

The first team is Denali,
Elliott With 2 Ts,

Kahmora Hall, and Olivia Lux.

You'll be overacting

in the Valentine's Day
tearjerker...

Valentine.

All right, next team
is LaLa Ri, Rosé, Symone...

- Ooh.
- Yes, bitch.

And Utica.

Now, you'll be overacting

in a soon-to-be-classic
Flag Day romantic adventure...

And that means the third team

is Gottmik, Joey Jay,
Kandy Muse...

Eew.

Tamisha Iman...

And Tinta Burner.

Tsss!

You'll be acting a fool

in a rom-com that
celebrates April Fool's Day.

It's called...

Last but not least,
to help you get into character,

we've got wigs
provided by Wigs and Grace.

- All right.
- Yeah.

Racers, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win!

Movie trailer one,

Valentine's Day,
Misery Loves Company.

Let's just read through it,
all right?

So Misery and Ash have a fight.
That's kind of fun.

I've never done
scripted acting before,

but I'm not afraid
of a challenge.

So I think I'll go ahead
and take Misery Love.

- You wanna be Misery?
- I kinda do.

Werk.

I wanna prove that I'm more
than just a lip sync artist,

that I can act.

I absolutely feel ready

to break into
the winner's circle.

I'm gonna fight
40 times harder now

to prove that I am a threat
in this competition.

And not just a safe threat.
I'm a top threat.

"Queen three,
Kewpie the Stupid Cupid.

Total airhead
with a heart of gold."

I feel that already.

Because I actually am stupid.

I love it!

There's just something
really annoying

about Elliott's voice
that I can't stand.

Oh, my God!

She uses the branch just like...

That kind of nasally, like...

Aah!

I can't.

Maybe we should just

read through the whole thing
by ourselves,

and then come together
at the end.

I realize that it's
obviously a main character,

but I didn't realize

how many lines
this character was gonna have.

This is a big role.

It's kind of overwhelming.

I definitely feel like
I have the biggest challenge

with this character, though.

Denali is definitely feeling it,

and I think she's
kind of second-guessing

the character she chose.

I should never have sent a fool
to do a woman's job!

I am so excited,

because we're gonna be filming
some cheesy television.

I hope I'm not
lactose intolerant.

We got Whoopie Cushion,
we have Party Clown, Party Lady.

"Everything she says
is delivered like a bad joke."

I definitely want
Whoopie Cushion, hands down.

The second I see
Miss Whoopie Cushion,

I don't even
let a girl get a chance.

Nope, she's mine.

Are you already
highlighting your lines?

- Mm-hmm.
- Bitch!

Bitch, this is Kandy Muse
on paper.

All right, so I'm definitely
happy with Whoopie.

She's just like,
"I'm highlighting,

this is my role,
get into it or get lost."

And I'm like,
well, props to you.

That was kind of everything.

But also, not sure
if that's how that works.

But okay.

God Loves Flags.

I wish every day were Flag Day!

I didn't know Flag Day
was a real holiday.

Like, this is news to me.

Honestly, we never
been out of school

for Flag Day, I don't think.

As of midnight tonight,

I'm tearing down
the flag fixture

and putting a wall fixture
where the flag fix... wait.

Did you just call me a bitch?

We're doing an acting challenge.

That means that the actresses
are gonna come out to play.

Mayday! Mayday!

That means it's gonna be
between me and Tina.

I should never have sent a fool
to do a woman's job!

We are both actresses,
we've got big personalities.

I can already see her taking
the lead, being hilarious.

So just in the back of my mind,

I'm making sure that, like,
I'm doing the same exact thing.

Whoo-hoo!

Of course you know me.

Hi-ee!

- Hi!
- Hello.

How are my lipstick
thespians doing?

- Fantastic.
- Glossed and ready!

Nevah bettah.

All right, Flag team,
come on down.

Hey, let's do it!

Come on, flag.

God Loves Flags,
and that's the truth.

God do love some flags.

That's right.

Have you all spoken
with the other teams

and compared scripts?

- Mm-mm.
- Because little secret.

As with all of those
type of movies,

they're all very similar.

If not exactly the same.

So what we're looking for

is for you as an actor
to take this role

and turn it into something
really, really special.

- LaLa Ri!
- Yes, hunty!

Are those acrylics?

No, they're press-ons.

Are you wearing
press-on nails, too?

No, these I got her done.

- Those are acrylic.
- Mm-hmm.

For the look and feel of what?

A woman.

Okay.

And then there's that.

That's called
method acting, you know.

Oh, yes.

Where you embody
the character. Nice.

Now, Rosé, you have any
theater in your background?

I consider myself, even
through drag, an actor first.

- Oh, an actor first.
- An actor first, Mama.

So, now, Rosé and Utica,

you both voted for Elliott
With 2 Ts to go home.

What made you decide on Elliott?

I think that
between Elliott and I

there was just
a very different vibe.

I give a very warm energy and
she gives a very cold energy.

That's... That's interesting.

Utica, how do you feel
about this acting challenge?

I am playing
a token, token queen.

Oh, she tokes the marijuana.

Have you ever
smoked weed before?

Oh, my God, please do that
in your... your... your...

Just let it all out.

What it is that you do, do that.

All right, ladies,

Well, I'm gonna let you
get back to rehearsing.

I can't wait to see what you do.

- All right!
- Thanks, Ru.

Hey, April Fools.

- All right.
- Come on over.

- Miss Kandy Muse.
- Hi.

How short are those shorts
you have on?

Um... a little panty.

Well, it pays to advertise.

- Ooh!
- Yes.

Any acting in your background?

I mean, I act like
I like these girls here,

but besides that...

Because the thing is that
you have so much personality,

but can you turn it on
when they say "Okay, action."

All right, so now Miss Tamisha.

- Yes?
- What role are you playing?

I'm Zoltina.

That's the character
that's based on Cher.

Can I hear
a little bit of your Cher?

Snap out of it!

Yeah. Uh, yeah,
but better than that.

Whoa.

- Are you a Cher fan?
- I am.

Name five Cher songs,
but don't do Believe.

Um... um...

I would say Gypsy.

She's not a Cher fan.

- She ain't no Cher fan!
- I'm a Cher fan at heart.

- No, you ain't.
- Yes, I am.

Who are you a big fan of, where
you know everything about them?

It would be Gladys, Patti...

Natalie Cole.
I'm a big fan of Natalie Cole.

Okay. So make Natalie Cole Cher,

or your interpretation of Cher.

Gotcha.

You know, do it
however you can get there.

And this is for all y'all.

However you can get there,
get there.

So, Gottmik,
what role are you playing?

I'm playing April Fool.

You wound up with so many lines.

Will you be able
to remember them?

I have a pretty good memory,
so I think I got it.

You have a good memory.

So who were the three artists

Tamisha would have rather done.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, Patti Labelle.

Uh-huh.

And then I got so distracted
by your gorgeous pussy bow, I...

- There goes the memory.
- It's all in here.

I cannot wait to see what
you all do with these roles.

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.

Hey, ladies, listen up.

Tomorrow on the runway,
category is Trains For Days.

Now remember, whatever you do,
don't fuck it up.

All right, bye.

It's time to shoot our drag
holiday movie
with the Ross Mathews.

I am feeling boss-ass bitch.

Get me a wire hanger!

I'm gonna beat the shit
outta somebody.

Hope you're ready to ham it up,

because ham goes
with every holiday.

And no pressure, but April
Fool's
is my favorite holiday.

Of course it is, yeah.

Places!

Ready and action.

We're just one building away

from putting up a humorous
ice cream factory

where a humorous ice cream
factory ought to be.

And I'm not joking, bitch!

I really love
the characterization.

Have fun with it. Sell it.

Mik, she's giving me, like,

Joan Cusack from
Addams Family Values,

and I'm, like,
almost peeing my pants.

And I'm not joking, bitch!

Even more gangster.
Give it to me bigger.

And I'm not joking, bitch!

Great.

Cut, print. Moving on.

All right,
let's give this a go. Action.

Zoltina, the fortune-telling
machine from New Orleans.

Whoa.

When you wake up,

I'd love it even more dramatic.
Whoa-ho-ho-ho.

- Okay.
- Action!

Whoa!

- Even bigger "whoa" from you.
- Okay.

Whoa!

Really exaggerate
the "oh-oh-oh."

How funny can you make whoa?

Whoa-ho-ho!

Do that one more time.
It was good!

Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho.

Even longer than you think.

Okay.

Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho!

Can you go higher with it? Whoa!

Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho!

Yes, Tamisha is slaying it.

Ho-ho-ho. Ho-ho-ho-ho! Ho! Ho!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Aah!

We're in the Fools Rush In
novelty shoppe now.

Have fun with it. Action.

If it isn't my grandmother,
Sasha Fool.

You look like
you could use a good laugh.

Ugh.

Ha, gotcha!

You looked like
you could use a good laugh.

Wait, cut.

I think you said the same line.

- Yeah, I did.
- Okay.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm nervous.

You look like you could
have used a good laugh.

Cut. Make sure we're not seeing
your profile all the time.

You gotta stay out
to the cameras.

Do you know which camera
is your close-up camera?

No, I don't.

- This one?
- That's it.

When you're talking to April,

you're gonna cheat
to that camera.

Okay.

Make sure we can
understand everything.

And when you shake her hand,

make sure you're in there
so I can see it.

- Yeah.
- Yeah. Okay?

Okay.

Joey, stop looking to the side.

Don't look in the camera,
look past the camera.

Enunciate your words.

Do you remember
what the line is?

Okay, now I need you
to shake her hand.

This is how I feel.

Moving on.

Hey, did somebody
mention my name?

You look like
you could use a good laugh.

You know what I'm saying,
Oh... oh...

Whoo-hoo-whoo!

Come on, bitch!

Whoo!

Are they laughing?
Then I'm good.

Every single person
in this room is laughing.

Bitch, ballpark.

Outta the park.

Whatever that little
reference is, that.

All right, ladies,
that's a wrap!

- Hi-ee.
- Hello!

It's time to put it on

for the lights,
the camera, and the action.

First scene in the flag
factory shoppe. Action.

As of midnight tonight,

I am tearing down
the flag factory

and putting a wall factory

where a wall factory
ought to be!

Good?

Good rhythm, I gotta say!

- All right.
- Yes!

Symone was really quiet
in rehearsal.

All of a sudden, she's
the loudest bitch in the room.

I gotta make sure that
I'm as fierce as she is.

Okay, let's give it a go.
And action.

Hello up there!

Do I know you?

Honey, I'm a nonbinary,
three-foot gnome.

You can trust me.

It's really hard not
to break character sometimes,

because Rosé
as this gnome is sending me.

Good, ladies.

Yay.

Places! Action!

Mother Flag-g-g has arrived.

- "Have you seen my bong?"
- Oh, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. Uh... shoot.

Uh...

And when I came across
that... no... no...

Uh, cut. So, just...

Do you need to look at a script?

Off to a great start.

Aah! I get really nervous,

and I forget all my lines.

All of them,
all three of my lines.

And action.

Mother Flag has arrived.

Now, where's my bong?

Not now, Mother.

Red is trying to shut down
the fa...

Not now, Mother.

Red's trying to shut down
flag factory.

What should we do?

Okay, cut. You're upset.

You know, like, be upset.

Some stuff's going down here.

- Be flustered.
- Okay.

Red is trying to shut down
the flag factory.

What should we do?

I'm a little worried for LaLa.

Her performance
is a little boring.

I wish every day were Flag Day!

Okay. Moving on.

I know Ross is probably
sitting here thinking, like,

what the fuck
is she doing, girl?

Like, who cast this ho?

- Hi, Ross.
- Hi, Ross!

Hi-ee! Are you ready to make
some holiday magic?

- Yes! Let's do this!
- Okay.

Places.

Misery, is that you?

I haven't seen you in 10 years!

When I heard you were
going to give the deed

to the Family Rose Garden
Bud Farm-fill Town Center...

Oh.

Yeah, you wanna take it again?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Rose Family
Valentine's Day rose farm.

Sorry, one more time.

Immediately,
I'm struggling with my lines.

This is hard boots.

And action!

I am going to build
fudge packer factories

where all fudge packer
factories should be.

Cut. Have you ever seen
Mommie Dearest?

I have.

Yeah, there's this scene
where she goes,

"I've put a window
where a window ought to be."

- Ought to be. Yes.
- Okay?

So it's very important
you get these lines right.

That I get that line, okay.

Because you're referencing
something iconic.

Right. I am going to build
a fudge packing factory

where a "fudge facking
pactory" ought to be!

Okay, cut. You said
"pack fashing facory."

No bueno. No bueno!

All right, ladies,
we're gonna meet the ash tree.

Kahmora's gonna be the tree.

It's, like, a lot of
green-screen work.

Even though she's in
a green screen suit,

Kahmora is in full drag body
for this with her breastplate.

You could have wore a boy body.

Action.

Misery, why did you leaf me
all these years ago?

Okay, cut.

- Ash?
- Yes.

You're giving
a really wooden performance.

Gimme little ups and downs.

- Got it, okay.
- Action!

Misery, why did you leaf me?

- I was rooting for us!
- Cut.

How would you say that line?

I was rooting for us!

How would Tyra Banks say it?

I was rooting for you.

Yeah, so what were you
gonna emphasize?

I was rooting for us.

- No.
- I'm sorry.

- I was rooting for us!
- Okay.

I was rooting for us!

Let's go right back to the top,

and you were rooting for us.

I was rooting for us.

I was rooting for us!

I was rooting for us!

Why do you keep saying
"I was rooting for us?"

I didn't realize I'm
emphasizing the wrong thing.

You're totally...
Like, over and over again.

I was rooting for us.

I was rooting for us.

I was rooting for us!

No. Say it...

I think I'm saying it right, no?

Tyra said,
"I was rooting for you."

So, say, I was rooting for us.

I was rooting for us.

Last chance,
and we gotta move on.

- Okay.
- Nail it.

Misery, why did you leaf me
all these years ago?

I was rooting for us.

Was that better?

She says it
probably, um, 78 times,

and she still doesn't get it?

I'm watching a train wreck
happen right in front of me.

That's it.
I'll see you on the runway.

I was rooting for her.

- ♪ Time to paint my face ♪
- Whoo, bitch, come on, ho!

Whoo! It is elimination day,

and it is officially time
for girls to start going home.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
let's become women.

Or in Tina's case, softer.

Aah!

Shady!

Gimme the thread.

How you doing?
Are you all right?

I'm re-doing my train look

because my original one
is not going to work.

So I am using
a different one now,

and I'm trying to just
jimmy-rig it for the runway.

And Gottmik and Tina
are really helping me,

because, bitch, I was stressing
out and going through it.

Tina and Mik, those are
my, like, shady little bitches.

We're just so, like,
shady to each other.

Like, no one
understands our humor.

We just get each other.

Well, girl, you're
pulling it together, honey.

You're making it work.

- Thanks, Tim.
- Okay.

We'll see you on the runway.

Yeah.

Me and Kandy and Tina are
shade monsters all day together.

We just kiki
like no other bitch.

I love those ladies.

We are ride-or-dies forever.

Thank you. No, like,
really, really, like, thank you.

Girl, we're not gonna
let you walk out there

looking like shit.

- Look at that. Whoo!
- Honey.

Oh... my goodness.

Look at that.
Look at that. Perfection.

That looks so good!

Yes! Werk, bitches.

- Okay, let's fucking...
- All right.

All right, let's go get ready.

Symone, what was your
first time in drag like?

My first time,

I would go home
from school every day,

and I would do my makeup
before my parents came home.

One of my classmates was like,

"So you coming to prom
in drag, diva?"

And I was like,
"You know what? Yeah, I am."

And so my first time in drag,
I went to prom.

- What?
- Girl!

Yep. I saved up all my money,
my shekels, my coins.

I bought me a dress
off the sales rack,

I got me a shake-and-go wig,
and I put myself up in drag.

And then I went
into my high school prom.

The vice principal was like,
"Who is this?

I've never seen
this person before."

And the principal was like,
"That's Reggie.

"You know, that's Reggie
underneath there.

Go on in, Reggie,
have a good time."

And I was, like,
"All right, bitch."

Aw, so cute!

In Arkansas, too?

Oh, honey, I had no fear.

Drag, like, took that away.

All the fear that Reggie had,
Symone did not.

It was an empowering moment.

I felt good.

It was one of the first times
I felt seen.

It was the first time
I felt strong

and not scared to be myself.

Here's a question, y'all.

Has anyone ever dated a woman?

No!

A woman? Dated a woman?
I've never dated a woman.

I'm gold star over here.

I had mad girlfriends
when I was, like, young.

Me, too, though.

I have biological kids.

Wait! She got kids, bitch!

- What?
- Kids?

- Isn't that crazy?
- Yeah, I know, right?

I have three biological kids.

Aah! What?

My youngest is 33,

and the oldest
have just turned 35.

- What?
- Oh, my God.

My twins, I dated their mother
during high school.

After her,
went with another girl,

and my life
has just been a whirlwind.

Long story short,
I didn't realize that I was gay

until after
I got outta high school.

And do they know...
They know about the gay?

- They know you're, like...
- Yeah.

Are they gonna watch the show?

Sure.

After I parted with
the second baby mother,

I had a friend in Atlanta
that was gay.

So his thing was
let's just go hang out.

You know, let me
show you my world.

I don't know if he
saw something or whatever,

but nevertheless,
we went to the club.

To see guys dancing with guys,

that was amazing.

It was an "aha" moment.

Long story short, I started
doing drag when I was 20.

So my drag name actually comes
from my oldest daughter.

Your oldest biological daughter?

Yeah. Her name is Tamisha.

- Aw!
- Aw!

Is her middle name
"Coming For You?"

Tamisha Iman is coming for you!

Show the girls what art can do.

We weren't there,
so y'all can't sing that.

Yeah, thank you.

So then I better not hear any
"Symone's coming for the crown."

Well, 'cause she ain't.

- Ooh!
- Ooh!

It's a joke!

I said JK, Kahmora.

- Oh!
- It's Kah-mora.

And that is the night the lights
went out in the werkroom.

♪ Cover girl,
put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe,
let your whole body talk ♪

And what?

Welcome to the main stage
of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Michelle Visage, now,
what's your favorite holiday?

Ru, you know what I'm gonna say.

Madonna's Holiday.

The only one!

The hilarious Ross Mathews.

Now, Ross, if you could
celebrate one holiday every day,

what would it be?

Groundhog's Day.

Ross, if you could celebrate
one holiday every day,

what would it be?

Celebrity Drag Race royalty,

everybody say Loni Love!

- Loni Love!
- Loni Love!

Loni, do you have
a favorite holiday?

Yes, Ru, Valentine's Day,

because I can get some roses
and some candy

and I get some... yeah.

This week
we challenged our queens

to overact
in cheesy holiday movies.

And tonight on the runway,
category is Trains For Days.

Racers, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

♪ Bring back my girls ♪

Category is Trains For Days.

First up, Denali.

She looks like
she's trained a cockatoo.

I'm serving you
beautiful bird realness.

Quetzalcoatl is a deity

of Mesoamerican
and Mexican culture.

The Quetzal bird
has this sickening Mohawk

that both makes it really
elegant, but also really punk.

The trains for days are
beautiful ostrich feathers.

Not chicken, mama.

This is ostrich,
and I'm serving it.

Oh, my God, Michelle,
did she just flip you the bird?

She did!

Olivia Lux.

Rock me, Glamadeus.

I'm serving you
rococo, baroque, Beethoven.

I'm giving you all
the musical geniuses, okay?

She put the "ass"
in "classical."

Elliott With 2 Ts.

I guess the other "T"
is for "train."

I am serving you Glenn Close

mixed with Meryl Streep
fantasy hair.

And then this train
is sickening.

All the ruffles, all the tulle.

Girl, I am feeling myself.

Can you take one more spin?

You missed a spot
right over there.

Swiffer? I hardly know her!

From the halls of medicine,
Kahmora Hall.

How are your heads?

I am feeling
so glamorous and beautiful.

I am the East Asian
Mother of Dragons.

Daenerys,
move out the way, bitch.

I know the judges
are feeling it.

Pick it up, girl.
You're dragon it.

Symone.

She comes from
the wrong side of the tracksuit.

A durag is a part
of Black culture,

and I wanted to celebrate that
on the stage.

Ain't nothin' wrong
with wearing no durag.

It is unapologetic,
and that is very Symone.

Du your thang, Symone!

Oh, yes, she bettah durag!

Oh, my God.

Do-re-mi, it's LaLa Ri.

Now, I have had it with
these mother-tuckin' snakes

on this mother-tuckin' train.

So, baby, I'm slithering
down this runway,

giving them life
in my snakeskin train.

I gave you a myth.

All you see is the eyes,

and she's still penetrating
your soul with just the eyes.

And it's hot!

If that wasn't enough, bitch...

She's shedding, America.
She's shedding, darling.

Bitch, I'm living.

Give us that venom, baby.

Next stop, Syracuse,
Schenectady, Utica.

Does the carpet
match the drapes?

I am wearing
a Carol Burnett-inspired piece

from her iconic
Gone With the Wind sketch.

I am feeling so comedic,
so silly,

and I'm just feeling great
in these drapes.

The shade!

Rosé.

Well,
she's acting very aloof-ah.

Miss Rosé loves the eighties,

and tonight
I am Lady Tuxedo down.

Enormous amounts of tulle
cascading down my back.

My Mohawk even has a train.

That's how dedicated I am to
this fucking craft, okay, baby?

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm your cruise director,
Tullie McCoy.

Gottmik.

Ooh!

Hold on, I think
we're about to get blown.

Ooh, yay!

I am giving you
trans train artistry.

Chiffon behind me,

and I have a fully bedazzled
leaf blower to go with it.

I brought my own wind, girl.

She is the wind
beneath her own damn wings.

Tina Burner.

You know, this was
once worn by Trainy Kazan.

I am serving you

the conductor
of this train, henny,

full-on
Tina Burner camp couture.

Let those bitches
be the caboose,

because this motherfucker is
running the train up in here.

Tina! Bring me the track!

Joey Jay from the KGB.

Oh, she took the S&M train.

- Mm.
- Ooh!

I wanted to go

a Joey Jay
wacky direction with this.

A pussy-eating tongue,

hand-painted, hand-sewn
by yours truly.

Bitch, eat it.

Finally a look with taste.

Kandy Muse.

I think she's wearing
her training bra.

Oh.

Blood red
velvet leather fantasy,

looking like
a vamptress herself.

And when I turn the corner,
poof, slow the train.

I look so sexy. Mm!

This dress is the train event.

Tamisha Iman.

This the Diana Ross train.

Yes.

This is another one
of the Tamisha Iman creations.

Yeah, I made this one as well.

The train is flowing
like it's supposed to.

I'm confident in it,
and I don't care where you are,

you're gonna notice this pink
from across the room.

She got some juice
in that caboose.

Yes, she does.

Hey, Ru, is the train
still running?

Welcome, queens.

I'm proud to present
our programming slate for 2021.

Our first film
stars Denali, Olivia Lux,

Elliott, and Kahmora Hall.

This Valentine's Day,

get ready to fall in love

in the RuPaulmark original...

Misery is a successful
businesswoman

who hates Valentine's Day.

I hate Valentine's Day,
and I hate roses!

So when Misery Love inherits

the Love Family
Valentine's Day rose farm,

things get thorny.

What a dump.

Misery, is that you?

When I heard
you were gonna give me

the deed to the Love Family
Valentine's Day rose farm,

well, I mean
when I heard you were dying,

I dropped everything.

I would have dropped
a few pounds, too,

while you were at it.

Did I say that out loud?

I own 51% of this company.

Well, I would love
to give you the deed,

but the movie's just starting.

While the world is making love,

Misery is making trouble.

I'm going to burn
this rose farm to the ground

and build
a fudge packing factory

where a fudge packing factory
ought to be!

It's gonna take
a Valentine's Day miracle

to save the Love Family
Valentine's Day rose farm.

Misery wants
to close down the farm

and open
a fudge packing factory.

Just as I suspected!

If only there was some way

to get Misery to rediscover

the true meaning
of Valentine's Day.

Well, ain't that what
your bow and arrow is for?

Child, how do you even
get outta bed in the morning?

I don't know.

Sometimes it takes an old flame

to melt a cold heart.

Ash?

Cupid's arrow, hit your mark.

Make this big old ash tree talk!

I've been tree-incarnated!

Misery, why did you leaf me
all these years ago?

I was rooting for us.

The love between a girl
and a tree, it was forbidden.

You were a coward.

How dare you!

Oh!

My bark is worse than your bite!

Oh!

I've always been here,
pining for you.

Don't get sappy with me, Ash.

Misery Love's Company

will make you believe
in love all over again.

I'm in love with Ash Tree,

and I don't care
if the whole world knows it!

Does this mean

you're not going to burn down

the Love Family
Valentine's Day rose farm?

The rose farm
belongs to you now.

Well, I have a surprise, too.

I'm not really dying. Yeah!

Yeah! Hey!

But wait. It wouldn't be
a RuPaulmark holiday movie

without one more
ridiculous twist.

Brrrrrr!

I guess I should have told you.

I'm really a prince.

The only thing
I love more than trees

is a hot, rich prince.

Stop. You're giving me a woody.

Even though we gave away
the whole damn plot,

watch Misery Love's Company,
only on the RuPaulmark Channel.

Oh, my God.

Our next film stars Symone,
LaLa Ri, Utica, and Rosé.

This Flag Day,

get ready to fall in love
with yourself all over again

in the RuPaulmark original...

Meet Red Flag of the famous
flag-making Flag family.

I hate flags, and I hate myself.

When she receives
a desperate text,

Red rushes home to
the Flag family flag factory.

Red, thank goodness you're home.

The bank is foreclosing
on the Flag family flag factory.

I know you left town years ago,

but you still own
half of the flag factory.

Correction.

I own 51% of the flag factory.

And the only reason I came back
is to shut it down.

As of midnight tonight,

I'll be tearing down
the flag factory,

and I'll be putting up
a wall factory

where a wall factory
ought to be!

Sometimes it takes an old flag

to show the children
how it's really done.

You can't make someone
love flags.

You've got to be born that way.

When I was younger,
I hid my true colors, too.

What helped you come out?

Picture it. Summer '69.

I came across
the most beautiful flag.

Well hung, and a nice pole, too.

Are we still talking
about flags?

With time running out,

can a magical lawn ornament
save Flag Day?

Must be walls!

Hello up there!

Do I know you?

I'm Gnomey.

The gnome.

Oh, Gnomey!

How long you had
your finger in that dike?

Anyway, this may sound
a little queer,

but I'm scared
to let my true colors show.

I'm just scared I won't fit in.

Bitch, you are perfect
just the way you are!

God Loves Flags
will make you laugh and cry

and wonder if Flag Day

is really some secret gay thing.

Something's different about you.

I will not be shutting down
the flag factory.

And I'm ready
to let my freak flag fly!

It's a coming-out present!

I love it!

I wish every day were Flag Day!

You've already figured out
how it ends,

but we'll tell you anyway.

Here, pull my finger!

Wait a minute. You a prince?

You loving yourself
freed me, too.

Red, will you marry me?

I mean, you hot and all,
but I'm into women, so...

Yes!

Watch God Loves Flags
only on the RuPaulmark Channel,

where the holidays
aren't just gay,

they're super gay.

Our final film stars Gottmik,
Tina Burner,

Joey Jay, Kandy Muse,
and Tamisha Iman.

Coming April 1st,
the joke's on you

if you don't fall in love in...

Meet April Fool.

She hates April Fool's Day.

I hate April Fool's Day,
and I hate pranks.

The former small-town prankster
is now a cutthroat lawyer

for the Humorless
Ice Cream company.

April, we're just
one building away

from putting up
a Humorless Ice Cream factory

where a Humorless
Ice Cream factory ought to be.

Who are the suckers
you want me to 86, boss?

The Fools Rush In novelty
shoppe.
Heard of it?

Yes, I have.

But I'm an ambitious lawyer,

and I have no trouble

destroying my family's
novelty gift shoppe.

And I'm not joking, bitch!

You have till April 1st
to get me the deed.

Is the plot of this movie
perfectly clear to you?

This fool's errand
soon puts April

between a rock
and a hardy-har place.

April, you're home.

Put it here!

Unh! Aah-aah-aah!

Gotcha! You looked like
you could use a good laugh.

I'm here because I have
some papers for you to sign.

Nothing to worry about.

Now, where
is my Whoopie Cushion?

Hey! Did someone
say my name? Aah!

Oh, Whoopie,
my favorite employee,

meet my ambitious granddaughter.

You look like
you could use a laugh.

Why does everyone
keep saying that?

When was the last time someone
tickled your funny bone?

If you know what I'm saying, oh!

Ah-whoo! Ah-whoo!

Come on, bitch! Whoo!

With hours
until April Fool's Day,

can a cheap Cher impersonation
change April's fortune?

Whoa!

Hey, April, why so dark, lady?

Am I doing the right thing
by stealing my granny's shoppe?

After the apocalypse,
three things remain.

Laughter, love...

and Cher.

Whoa!

So don't be a bitch, bitch.

April's Fool's Paradise
will make you cry,

drunk-text your ex,

and wonder,
"Did I miss something?"

Happy April Fool's Day,
everyone!

April, where's the deed?

There is no deed. Take this!

Oh!

It's too late.
I signed the deed.

Joke's on you, April.

You're fired!

I've ruined everything!

April Fools!

Sasha signed the deed
with disappearing ink!

Gotcha!

Wait a minute.

The movie's almost over,

and April hasn't found
her secret prince.

I have just
one more wish to make.

Don't tell me.
You wish you had a prince.

Oh, are you a real prince?

Well, I'm a Prince impersonator.

Let's go crazy!

Gotcha! Whoa!

Don't miss April Fools Rush In,

coming to the RuPaulmark
Channel this Halloween.

Ho! Ho-ho! Ho!

April Fools!

Brava, ladies, brava.

I smell a Cable ACE award
in your future.

Ladies,
I've made some decisions.

When I call your name,
please step forward.

Elliott With 2 Ts.

Olivia Lux.

Utica.

Joey Jay.

Gottmik.

Tinta Burta.

Tamisha Iman. Whoa!

Ladies, you are...

safe.

Thank you.

Some really great work
this week.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

You may leave the stage.

Queens, you represent the tops
and the bottoms of the week.

Now it's time
for the judges' critiques.

Starting with Denali.

- I love your train look.
- Thank you, Ross.

This has a lot of whimsy,
but it's also beautiful.

You just look like
a beautiful bird.

Your performance,
you have an opening line

that is a legendary
Bette Davis line,

which is, "What a dump!"

Right.

And I didn't get that.

I think you could have
gone way further with it.

When you choose the big part,
the main character,

you've got a lot of work
to do through every scene.

- But it was a struggle.
- Okay.

You have to find a way to make
the character interesting.

Some of these other girls
managed to do that.

All right, Kahmora Hall.

This outfit, you embraced your
culture and you look fabulous.

Your performance, however,
was a little... flat.

Why did you leaf me
all these years ago?

I wanted you to be ridiculous,
I wanted you to let go.

You gotta take it
and run with it,

like you do with your fashion.

You're so buttoned up,

and I feel like
you struggle with that.

But art is about
not being afraid.

Kahmora, what's going on?

You're right.

Like, I try to be perfect
all the time,

and even just, like,
watching the video,

I can see in my mind

that I'm, like,
thinking too much about it

and afraid to let go.

I don't know why I'm struggling

with, like,
feeling confident inside,

but not showing it
on the outside to you all.

Well, it's amazing that
you've been given the gift

to see where
the mistake was in that.

Thank you.

All right.
From Arkansas, Symone.

This has never been done
on the runway,

using a freaking durag
as a train?

Get into it.

You are the Soul Train,
I tell you.

Yes, ma'am.

You have been able
to take the genius

of embracing your culture.

This is what America is about.

Let's talk about the challenge.

You came out ready to go.

You had your lines,
you had the character.

You got
the Julia Sugarbaker role.

What I loved was that
you infused it with you.

Even the way you just
said words so stupidly.

- Flag fact'ry."
- "Fact'ry."

So wrong it's right.

Thank you.

Up next, LaLa Ri.
Oh, my goodness, this outfit.

Mm-mm, I could use that
for Sunday brunch for real.

I wanna talk about
your performance.

You came in kind of quiet,

almost like you weren't
sure of yourself.

You were out of your
comfort zone, am I right?

Yeah, you're correct.

It showed on your face, and I
think you kind of went within.

And I'm gonna give you
a piece of advice.

When I was doing Soul Plane,

Mo'Nique knew
it was my first time doing it,

and she said, "Make sure that
whatever you did to get here,

you keep doing it."

Thank you.

Up next, Rosé.

Tonight on the runway,
this is fun.

It's not my favorite to me,

because I feel like
I'm looking at a suit

with just an attachment on it.

This is good. I just wanted
more, more, more.

But Gnomey was super fun.

Gnomey!

The gnome.

Talk about weird.

I mean, you're on your knees,
shooting as a gnome.

I loved your characterization.

You were so easy to direct.

I didn't know you had
all that acting skill in you.

Even though
you were just static,

you were still able to bring
life into your character.

And I can't wait
to see more of you.

Thank you so much.

Up next, Kandy Muse.

Tonight on the runway,

your train look doesn't
really say train for me.

I think my issue with it, Kandy,
is it's a little too plain.

- Okay.
- On the side,

I don't wanna see your cincher

or your undergarments
sticking out

I know. I was gonna
pull it down,

but my little beef tenderonis
were gonna come out,

and I was trying
to keep it family friendly.

Now, you were ridiculous
as Whoopie Cushion.

Whoo! Whoo!

You were committed
to the character,

it was colorful, it was you.

Your performance
is a perfect example

of how if you just give in
to the moment and get loose,

you can really strike gold.

Laugh out loud funny,
Kandy Muse.

Very well did.

Well, thank you, ladies.
I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck
in the werkroom,

the judges and I
will deliberate.

All right, now just
between us flag hags,

whaddaya think?

Denali.

Denali is so good,
but I think she just bit off

a bit more than
she could chew this week.

Also, she didn't have
the gay cultural references

that you kind of have to have
to know those lines.

Yeah.

I mean, that was, like, come on.

Kahmora Hall.

Ladies, it was tough
directing her.

I mean, I literally
pulled that out of her.

I was exhausted.

I needed a coffee,
I needed a shot,

I needed a deep-tissue massage.

And that's what we got.

I think she broke tonight.

I think that that means
there's room for improvement.

She doesn't feel safe enough
to just trust herself.

This girl knows fashion,

but tonight, that acting
challenge was pretty tough.

- Symone.
- She had an idea

of what she wanted to do
in this acting challenge,

and she executed it perfectly.

I love it!

Symone is a perfect example

of someone
who trusts their instinct,

who's done her homework

and knows that she's gonna bring
Symone to every challenge.

Symone is my cousin.

That's Detroit all day.
Blow it out.

We take fashion risks.

Do not be surprised
if you see Rihanna

with this long train durag,
all right?

Because it's gonna happen,
people.

LaLa Ri.

She was the weakest
of the group.

But with that said,
she still was not terrible.

She wasn't popping.

And if she's fading
in the background this early,

that worries me.

She is too good to fade.

Rosé.

I loved her performance.

Her performance was A1.
It was funny.

She was so wonderful.

I loved all her little bits
that she did.

She was ready
for that challenge,

and she is ready
for this competition.

Watch out for her.

Kandy Muse.

She knows how to bring comedy.

She knows how to bring life.

She infused herself in it,

and that's how you excel
in these acting challenges.

However, tonight on the runway,

it was just messy for me.

Yeah, the outfit
needed some adjustments.

But she is just hilarious.

Let's just give her some pins
to hide her undergarments.

Silence. I've made my decision.

Aah!

Okay.

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Rosé. As Gnomey the Gnome,

you had us wrapped
around your pointer finger.

You're safe.

Thank you so much.

Symone.

Tonight you put
the "drag" in "durag."

Con-drag-ulations.

You're the winner
of this week's challenge.

Thank you.

You've won a cash prize
of $5.000.

All right.

I just got win number two.

I feel on top of the world.

Kandy Muse.

You are safe.

Thank you, girl! Bye!

LaLa Ri. Your runway look

earned you high marks,

but your rainbow flag
was flying at half mast.

You're safe.

Thank you.

That means Denali, Kahmora Hall,

I'm sorry, my dears,
but you are up for elimination.

I was all the way at the top

and now all the way
at the bottom?

Seriously?

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance
to impress me

and save yourself
from elimination.

The time has come...

for you to lip sync...

for your life!

I know have to kill
this lip sync,

not only to fight for my
position in this competition,

but to prove to these girls

that have never seen me
in my element

that I'm an actual threat,

and that if any of them
go against me, its over.

Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

♪ It's 12 past midnight,
don't close your eyes ♪

♪ Your soul's half alive,
and I'll be by your side ♪

♪ I've come to take you there ♪

♪ Show you how to care ♪

♪ I want your love ♪

♪ I want it tonight ♪

♪ I'm taking your heart,
so don't you fight ♪

♪ I'll be your answer,
I'll be your wish ♪

♪ I'll be your fantasy,
your favorite dish ♪

♪ From the back to the middle
and around again ♪

♪ I'm gonna be there
till the end ♪

♪ 100% pure love ♪

♪ From the back to the middle
and around again... ♪

I have this
heavy-ass train on me,

I can barely move,
but the show must go on.

♪ You'll never
have to run away ♪

♪ You'll always have
a friend to play ♪

♪ You'll never go out
on your own ♪

♪ In me you will find a home ♪

♪ A home ♪

♪ From the back to the middle
and around again ♪

♪ I'm gonna be there
till the end ♪

♪ 100% pure love ♪

♪ From the back to the middle
and around again ♪

♪ I'm gonna be there
till the end ♪

♪ 100% pure love ♪

♪ And back to the middle
and back to the middle ♪

♪ And back to the middle
and back to the middle ♪

♪ And back to the middle
and back to the middle ♪

♪ And back to the middle
and back to the middle ♪

♪ And back to the middle
and back to the middle ♪

♪ Don't you know it,
don't you want it ♪

♪ Don't you know it,
don't you want it ♪

♪ You always have
a friend to play-play-play ♪

♪ Play-play-play-play-play ♪

♪ Play-play-play-play-play ♪

♪ Not 10, not 20,
more than 30, baby ♪

♪ I'm giving 100% pure love ♪

Denali, that was 100% pure fun.

- Thank you.
- Shantay you stay.

That was so much fun to watch.

I pity the fool
that has to go up against you.

You may join the other girls.

Thank you.

Kahmora Hall.

Now, while you
are leaving us too soon,

you will always be a part
of the Drag Race family tree.

Now sashay away.

Thank you so much
for this opportunity.

Thank you all.

Kahmora!

From the House of Hall!

I am going through,
like, a mix of emotions.

I faced a lot of my inner demons
during the competition.

In the end, I let my nerves
get the best of me.

At the same time, I'm so
grateful for the opportunity.

I've done things
I never thought I could do.

My biggest lesson learned

is that I need
to believe in myself.

If you follow your dreams
and passions,

everything will fall into place.

Con-drag-ulations, ladies.

And remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell
you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an "amen" up in here?

- Amen!
- Amen!

All right,
now let the music play.

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

Next time
on RuPaul's Drag Race...

We're throwing a bag ball.

Do you think you have
this one in the bag?

Of course,
I don't know how to sew.

Okay.

This is frightening,
and I'm entertained.

It was just stunning.

I can tell by looking at this
you're not the sewer.

I thought Elliott should
have been in the bottom.

No, no, no. No, no, no.

If y'all feel
that that is shade,

then that's on y'all.

No, I gotta bring you down
a little bit now.

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ Losers, weepers ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ Finders, keepers ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ Losers, weepers ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

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