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1
00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:05,036
(theme song playing)
2
00:01:19,479 --> 00:01:21,679
(laughter)
3
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,282
Here is your
lunch, my Latka.
4
00:01:28,988 --> 00:01:32,423
Now I will go to make
our apartment a home
5
00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:34,492
and watch Richard Simmons
6
00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:38,930
so my body will be lean
and supple for your return.
7
00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:44,903
I shall fly through my day
knowing what awaits me.
8
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,573
And I shall puke my guts out...
9
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:52,644
...if you don't knock it off.
10
00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:55,513
Louie is angry
11
00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:59,684
because he does not
have what we have.
12
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,686
A green card?
13
00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:07,625
He needs somebody to love.
14
00:02:07,693 --> 00:02:09,760
Get out of here with the...
15
00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:14,733
And soon, he will have somebody.
16
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,801
You all will.
ALEX:
Hey,
17
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,336
what's this all about?
18
00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:21,906
Okay, please,
listen very carefully.
19
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,741
It's difficult to explain.
20
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,177
Wow. Sounds
serious.
21
00:02:26,245 --> 00:02:27,579
It is.
22
00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:32,216
I'm going to tell you
about the shloogel.
23
00:02:32,285 --> 00:02:34,352
(Alex laughs)
24
00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,154
Shloogel.
25
00:02:36,222 --> 00:02:37,521
(laughs)
26
00:02:39,358 --> 00:02:43,094
The shloogel is one
of our most sacred traditions.
27
00:02:43,162 --> 00:02:44,062
Oh.
28
00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:45,530
Don't laugh again.
29
00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:51,936
A shloogel is the ceremony
30
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:57,008
where a newly married couple
shares their elation
31
00:02:57,077 --> 00:03:00,511
by introducing
their closest friends
32
00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:03,881
to the man or woman
so perfect for them
33
00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:06,084
that they will fall so in love,
34
00:03:06,152 --> 00:03:09,053
they will never want to part.
35
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:11,255
Oh.
(laughs)
36
00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:13,391
Sounds like a
group blind date.
37
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:14,593
(Alex laughs)
38
00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:16,928
It's not a blind date, Reiger.
39
00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:19,464
Okay.
40
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,933
It's nothing
like a blind date.
41
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,234
Right.
42
00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:27,239
I have been looking for people
for two months now,
43
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:30,575
and I have found them.
44
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:34,879
Oh, I have such a wonderful man
for you, Elaine.
45
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,414
Yes! And Louie?
46
00:03:36,483 --> 00:03:37,582
Yeah?
47
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:38,782
Perfect.
48
00:03:38,851 --> 00:03:39,951
Yeah?
49
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:43,388
Tony, wait till you see her.
50
00:03:43,456 --> 00:03:44,956
Ooh, ooh!
51
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:48,693
Surprise, surprise, Jim.
52
00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:51,463
And Alex...
53
00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:52,997
Now hold it
right there.
54
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,732
You sound very
sure of yourself.
55
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:57,969
Well, like many people
from my country,
56
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:01,372
I am born with the gift
to match people.
57
00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:04,008
Comes to us naturally
as eating,
58
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,511
sleeping
and disemboweling sheep.
59
00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:11,816
I'm free.
60
00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:13,050
I'm there.
I'm going.
61
00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:14,351
Hey. Great.
62
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,354
I'll go if
Alex goes.
63
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:17,255
I'm not going.
64
00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:19,391
Well, I sure am.
65
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:21,126
I'm not gonna
pass this up.
66
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:22,493
That's it.
I'm going.
67
00:04:22,562 --> 00:04:24,095
Alex, what are you
talking about?
68
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:25,262
You got to go.
It'll be fun.
69
00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:26,431
(overlapping chatter)
70
00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:27,598
Come on, I don't want
to go!
71
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:28,800
No, I'm sorry,
72
00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:30,101
but, uh, in this country,
73
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,237
there are still a few of us
who believe in romance
74
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:34,372
and chance encounters
and that old black magic.
75
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,707
And, yes, I like to think
of myself as someone
76
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:40,045
who will fight any tradition
that denies individual choice.
77
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:43,014
(speaking native language)
78
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:45,450
See, this shows
how good Simka is.
79
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:48,453
That's exactly
what your date said.
80
00:04:49,555 --> 00:04:51,689
She did?
81
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:53,257
(speaking native language)
82
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:55,326
Be there
or be square.
83
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,836
Everybody take
a load off.
84
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,176
Now the introductions.
85
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:13,478
SIMKA:
Hey.
86
00:05:13,546 --> 00:05:14,879
(clears throat)
87
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:18,850
Tony Banta,
this is Vicki Destefano.
88
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,085
Tony, describe for us,
if you will...
89
00:05:21,153 --> 00:05:22,287
How you doing?
90
00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:24,188
...your perfect woman.
91
00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:27,725
Well, blond,
feminine, leggy.
92
00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:30,094
But who cares
about looks?
93
00:05:30,162 --> 00:05:32,097
I mean, uh...
94
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,466
No. Look... Who
cares about looks?
95
00:05:35,535 --> 00:05:37,268
Oh, the most
important thing is
96
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:40,004
that they have a
great personality.
97
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:43,407
Vicki, now you describe
your perfect man.
98
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,776
It ain't
this meatball.
99
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:49,547
What was that
supposed to mean?
100
00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:50,715
You heard me.
101
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,383
Yeah, I know I
heard you, but...
102
00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:57,121
Now there will be plenty of time
for that later.
103
00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:02,994
All right, now Elaine Nardo,
104
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:05,930
this is Arnie Ross.
105
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,498
Hello. How do you do?
106
00:06:07,566 --> 00:06:11,402
Elaine, we know that you
usually date the type
107
00:06:11,470 --> 00:06:13,270
that's hard to catch.
108
00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:15,139
You know, lady killers,
109
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,475
handsome rogues
who can wrap women
110
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,777
around their
little finger.
111
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,214
So they found you one.
112
00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:32,123
You are next, Jim.
113
00:06:32,191 --> 00:06:33,424
Oh, finally.
114
00:06:33,492 --> 00:06:34,959
LATKA:
Hey, Jim,
115
00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:38,229
what is your all-time
favorite TV comedy show?
116
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:39,530
Oh, that's easy.
117
00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:42,100
Uh, The Bob Newhart Show.
118
00:06:46,672 --> 00:06:48,672
Are you a fan of The Bob...?
119
00:06:52,712 --> 00:06:54,645
Oh!
120
00:06:58,184 --> 00:07:00,050
Oh!
121
00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:04,322
Why, you're Carol,
played by Marcia Wallace.
122
00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:06,457
And-And you're...?
123
00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:09,193
Jim Ignatowski
as himself.
124
00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:14,565
I bet you're curious
how we got a such a big star
125
00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:17,669
like Marcia Wallace
for you, Jim.
126
00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:18,870
I'm curious.
127
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,437
I'm mystified.
128
00:07:20,506 --> 00:07:21,773
Tell him, Marcia.
129
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:23,141
I wanted a date.
130
00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:28,112
Louie De Palma,
131
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,947
this is Judy Griffith.
132
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:31,148
(sighs)
133
00:07:31,217 --> 00:07:32,550
Very nice
to meet you.
134
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:35,019
Very nice to meet you.
135
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:53,237
How come my date's blind?
136
00:07:53,305 --> 00:07:55,006
Glaucoma.
137
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,675
Oh, you-you think that
Simka picked a blind girl
138
00:07:57,743 --> 00:07:59,543
so she could
not see you?
139
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:04,982
The thought did cross my mind.
140
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:08,585
You may be right.
141
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:17,161
All right, Alex Reiger,
142
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,663
Susan McDaniel.
143
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:20,264
Hi.
144
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,433
Hi.
145
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,001
What are you doing, Latka?
146
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,370
Uh, I'm going to write down
the first words
147
00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,406
you say to each other so in case
148
00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:30,841
you want to repeat them
to your grandchildren.
149
00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:32,843
Hello, grandchildren.
150
00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:37,848
Simka?
151
00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:39,050
What?
152
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:40,217
Great shloogel!
153
00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:42,219
I know.
154
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,190
� Love �
155
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:50,261
� Exciting and new �
156
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:53,631
� Come aboard �
157
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:58,636
� We're expecting you �
158
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:02,706
� And love �
159
00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:05,209
� Life's sweetest reward... �
160
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,583
That's a... that's a
pretty outfit you got on.
161
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:14,118
Thank you.
162
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:16,153
Who picked it
out for you?
163
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:19,523
I made it myself.
164
00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:21,125
(laughs)
165
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:21,993
No, I'm serious.
166
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,461
(laughs)
167
00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:26,029
What a wise-ass.
168
00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:29,833
Blind people can do
all sorts of things.
169
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:31,035
Archery?
170
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:32,269
(laughs)
171
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:35,406
(laughs)
172
00:09:35,474 --> 00:09:38,342
I think I may like you, Louie.
173
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,510
Oh, yeah?
174
00:09:39,578 --> 00:09:40,845
Yeah.
175
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,247
When will you know?
176
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:44,982
When I decide
177
00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:47,017
whether you're acting this way
because you sense
178
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:50,955
that I hate to be pitied,
or you're just gross.
179
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,957
(laughs)
180
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:02,734
Well, maybe it would help
181
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:05,369
if you told me a little
something about yourself.
182
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,905
Well, there's not
much to tell.
183
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:09,907
At the moment, uh,
184
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:12,576
I'm sitting here, uh,
185
00:10:12,645 --> 00:10:16,580
picturing you, uh, naked.
186
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:19,884
What?
187
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,486
You know, I have never
said anything like that
188
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:25,522
in my entire life,
but I made up my mind
189
00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:27,624
that tonight, I was not
gonna pussy-foot around
190
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:29,493
like I always do and
then go home afterwards
191
00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,762
and think about all the
things that I should have said.
192
00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:33,497
At least, if I'm
gonna strike out,
193
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:36,000
I'm gonna go
down fighting.
194
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,902
So, good night and
thank you very much.
195
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,371
Wait. Wait a minute.
Wait. No, no, no.
196
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,739
Sit down.
197
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,107
Oh, good.
198
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,109
You're gonna
prolong my agony.
199
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:48,512
Ah, come on.
200
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:54,452
Just do that laugh you did
on the Christmas show.
201
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:57,922
When there was eggnog
in the water cooler?
202
00:10:57,990 --> 00:11:00,525
Oh, all right.
203
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:02,859
Uh, remember,
you were drunk.
204
00:11:02,928 --> 00:11:04,328
Mm.
205
00:11:04,396 --> 00:11:06,464
(laughing)
206
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:08,932
Ah!
207
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:11,903
And you never won an Emmy?
208
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:17,074
Hey, what's it to you
how I drink my beer?
209
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:19,410
Hey, I don't care how
you drink your beer.
210
00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:20,912
Drink it any
way you like.
211
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:22,780
I just thought
it, uh...
212
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,249
it didn't look
very ladylike.
213
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,052
How come every slob
who manages
214
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,620
to wipe the spit off his face
thinks he knows
215
00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:32,623
how a lady should act?
216
00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:36,393
What are you smiling about?
217
00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:38,395
You remind me
of my mom.
218
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:42,833
What kind of a
childhood did you have?
219
00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:44,969
Nice.
220
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,737
And you loved your mother
and father?
221
00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:49,206
I loved my parents.
222
00:11:49,274 --> 00:11:51,075
And you had a great relationship
with your brother and sister?
223
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:52,410
Right.
(laughs)
224
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:54,845
And half the football team.
225
00:11:56,448 --> 00:11:58,049
Oh, just kidding.
226
00:11:58,118 --> 00:11:59,750
Oh.
Just having
a little fun.
227
00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:01,018
(laughs)
228
00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:02,419
You're wonderful.
229
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:03,587
You're absolutely
wonderful.
Oh.
230
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:05,556
She's absolutely wonderful.
231
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:08,526
You know, you haven't told me
anything about yourself.
232
00:12:08,594 --> 00:12:09,726
Yes, I have.
233
00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:12,029
I told you all about how
ineffectual I am with women.
234
00:12:12,098 --> 00:12:13,797
(chuckling):
Oh.
235
00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:16,367
No, but I haven't told
you the one thing
236
00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:18,669
that makes women really
come running after me
237
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,538
like pussycats in
a tuna factory.
238
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:21,772
(chuckles)
239
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:22,773
Oh, I know.
240
00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:24,242
It's because you
listen so well
241
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:28,078
and because you're genuinely
concerned for children.
242
00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:31,315
No, it's because
I'm incredibly rich.
243
00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:35,252
Hot dog, huh, honey?
244
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:36,921
I think it's terrible
that you think
245
00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:40,558
money is the reason
women respond to you.
246
00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:43,027
Believe it or not, I have been
having a lovely time tonight
247
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,128
because you are so, uh--
248
00:12:45,197 --> 00:12:49,867
y-you seem so decent
an-and unusual a-and dear
249
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:52,036
and because...
250
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,671
Woody Allen
has conditioned us
251
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:57,542
to reevaluate our concept
of male beauty.
252
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:01,879
You seem to be saying
that you, you like me...
253
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:03,080
Yes.
...for myself.
254
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:05,082
Yes, that's right.
Irrespective of the money.
255
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:06,250
Absolutely.
256
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:08,386
Good, because I lied
about the money.
257
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:10,988
Arnie!
258
00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:13,457
I don't want to
embarrass you, but, uh,
259
00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:15,492
I think you're fantastic.
260
00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:18,562
I mean, you're not
only beautiful...
261
00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:21,532
you act like you don't even
know you're beautiful.
262
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,102
You know,
somehow I, uh,
263
00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:27,771
I forgot what it was to feel
264
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:31,742
the way I feel now
about meeting somebody new.
265
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:35,846
What a difference a couple
of hours can make, huh?
266
00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:38,516
Suddenly I'm afraid of dying.
267
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:41,518
Thank you.
268
00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:46,156
That's... that's always nice
to hear.
269
00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:48,092
(laughs)
270
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:51,195
(laughs)
271
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,397
You're wonderful,
you're wonderful.
272
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,533
She is absolute-- abso--
273
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:57,335
You're absolutely wonderful.
274
00:13:57,403 --> 00:13:59,503
True, I-I can't really
enjoy a painting,
275
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:02,206
but I have
a greater enjoyment of things
276
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:04,375
that appeal
to the other senses--
277
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:09,046
listening to music,
eating fine food, making love.
278
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:12,683
Whoo.
279
00:14:12,751 --> 00:14:14,018
Oh, you assumed
because I'm blind
280
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:15,018
that I'm not interested
281
00:14:15,087 --> 00:14:17,788
in what other women
are interested in.
282
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:20,057
N-No, I meant "whoo,"
283
00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:23,361
like when a guy
hits the jackpot.
284
00:14:25,430 --> 00:14:27,497
More wine?
285
00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:28,566
Ah, no thanks.
286
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:31,168
I'll just finish
what I have in my glass.
287
00:14:31,237 --> 00:14:33,938
Oh, okay.
288
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:42,212
(chuckles)
289
00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:44,314
Good ears,
good ears.
290
00:14:46,251 --> 00:14:52,823
How come, out of 142
Bob Newhart Show episodes,
291
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,659
covering the years
1972-78...
292
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:59,797
(clearing throat)
293
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:03,133
...only 39 stories
were about you?
294
00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:05,402
Well, I wasn't the
star of the show.
295
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:08,338
Really?
296
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,714
Who was the star
of the show?
297
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:21,284
Bob Newhart.
298
00:15:21,353 --> 00:15:24,788
Yeah, that's why they called
it The Bob Newhart Show.
299
00:15:24,856 --> 00:15:25,923
(gasps)
300
00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:28,259
This is fascinating.
301
00:15:30,362 --> 00:15:35,265
This is just the kind of stuff
I was hoping we'd get into.
302
00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:37,501
(clears throat)
303
00:15:38,804 --> 00:15:43,406
Do you mind if I ask you
something else?
304
00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:45,242
No, not at all.
305
00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:49,913
I would be honored
if you would become my wife.
306
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:53,317
(laughing)
307
00:15:53,385 --> 00:15:56,020
(both laughing)
308
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,523
You're not serious.
309
00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:00,624
Why?
310
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:02,359
Well, you know, if
you were serious,
311
00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:05,329
this would just
be too bizarre.
312
00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:08,031
Uh... do you like
bizarre?
313
00:16:12,571 --> 00:16:15,272
Well...
314
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:24,614
Uh, actually
I do, yes.
315
00:16:24,683 --> 00:16:27,151
No, no, but wait.
316
00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:28,685
No, you're getting
ahead of yourself,
317
00:16:28,754 --> 00:16:30,020
far ahead
of yourself.
318
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:32,656
I-I'm sorry.
319
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:35,358
It's just that
a long time ago,
320
00:16:35,427 --> 00:16:37,461
I fell in love
with someone
321
00:16:37,529 --> 00:16:41,999
who used to get coffee
for Bob and Jerry,
322
00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:43,834
and now she's here,
323
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:45,669
and she's real,
324
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:50,640
and she's more beautiful
than I ever thought possible.
325
00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:53,477
Golly, Jim.
326
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:55,779
I know.
327
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:57,782
Come on.
328
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,216
I mean, look,
329
00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:01,384
if the guy doesn't have
the talent,
330
00:17:01,453 --> 00:17:03,254
the least he should do
is hire a manager
331
00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:05,455
to point out
the obvious things.
332
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:07,324
Oh, yeah,
like what?
333
00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:08,858
Like dropping
your left.
334
00:17:08,927 --> 00:17:10,260
I don't drop
my left.
335
00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:11,328
(muttering):
I don't know what
you're talk...
336
00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:13,230
Show me your stance.
337
00:17:13,298 --> 00:17:15,232
Come on.
338
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:16,333
Show me your stance.
339
00:17:16,402 --> 00:17:18,335
(sarcastically):
I'll show you my stance.
340
00:17:20,472 --> 00:17:21,905
All right,
here's my stance.
341
00:17:21,973 --> 00:17:22,906
Okay.
342
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:25,075
Yeah, just like-- yeah.
Okay.
343
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:34,385
You know,
you're great.
(laughs)
344
00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:36,854
You know, with a little bit
more leverage out of this leg,
345
00:17:36,922 --> 00:17:38,155
and if you threw
it like this...
(screams)
346
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:40,423
I hit her, I hit her.
347
00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:41,759
Tommy, I need some ice.
348
00:17:41,827 --> 00:17:42,993
Vicki, Vicki,
are you all right?
349
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,028
Are you all right,
Vicki?
350
00:17:44,096 --> 00:17:46,430
Yeah.
351
00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:48,498
I'm lucky you're a bum.
352
00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:57,241
I'm gonna take a big
chance with you right now.
353
00:17:57,309 --> 00:18:00,577
Bigger than the ones
you've already taken?
354
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:03,413
Oh...
355
00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:06,016
Okay, excuse me, everyone.
356
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:10,721
Uh, it is almost 1:00,
and the shloogel must end.
357
00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:12,022
ELAINE:
Aw...
358
00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:13,857
Can't we bend tradition a
little and stay a while?
359
00:18:13,925 --> 00:18:16,360
Tradition has nothing
to do with it.
360
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:17,727
Tommy is kicking us out
361
00:18:17,796 --> 00:18:21,798
and we only have time for
the last ritual of the evening.
362
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:22,800
What's that?
363
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:25,702
Paying the check.
364
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,137
All right, who had the pizza?
365
00:18:27,206 --> 00:18:28,739
Oh, we did.
366
00:18:32,744 --> 00:18:34,678
Oh, no, no.
367
00:18:34,746 --> 00:18:37,781
All right, come on,
let's get out of here.
368
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:38,982
I'll lead you home.
369
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:40,317
(chuckles)
370
00:18:40,385 --> 00:18:43,187
Thank you.
371
00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:45,555
Do you two like
each other?
372
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:47,024
Yeah, yeah.
373
00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:48,158
(chuckles)
374
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:50,761
Yeah, we might
get serious.
375
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:53,897
Before you know it,
376
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,833
she'll be taking me
home to meet the dog.
377
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:58,035
(laughs)
378
00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:05,609
(indistinct chatter)
379
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,077
Good night.
Oh, Latka, Simka,
thanks for everything.
380
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,578
Thanks.
Thank you very much.
381
00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:10,647
Let's go dancing at the Big Sky.
382
00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:11,681
The Big Sky's a dive.
383
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,150
Let's go
to the Parrot Room.
384
00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:14,151
The Parrot Room?
385
00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:15,352
Yeah.
Are you nuts?
386
00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:16,987
You know, you've got
some mouth on you.
387
00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:18,255
Oh, come on.
388
00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:20,090
Come here.
(laughing):
Get your hands off me!
389
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,092
TONY:
You love it, you love it.
390
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,463
Two for two.
391
00:19:27,566 --> 00:19:29,499
Good night, Latka.
Good night.
392
00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:30,934
Good night, honey, bye.
Good night, Elaine.
393
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,101
ARNIE:
Good night.
394
00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,103
(chuckles)
395
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,371
Good night.
396
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,406
Look, if she says anything
about me tomorrow,
397
00:19:36,475 --> 00:19:39,210
please let me know,
even if it's negative.
398
00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:41,511
Will you stop it
with that stuff?
399
00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:42,946
It's not going to be negative.
400
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,014
Aw...
401
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:48,151
You know...
402
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:49,219
(clears throat)
403
00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:53,223
...I wrote a lyric
to your theme song.
404
00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:57,060
Uh, Jim, could we just, you
know, spend five minutes
405
00:19:57,129 --> 00:19:59,196
without talking about
The Newhart Show?
406
00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:01,332
Good.
Okay.
407
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:02,499
(indistinct chatter)
408
00:20:02,568 --> 00:20:04,267
Nice to meet you;
I had a real nice time.
409
00:20:04,336 --> 00:20:06,703
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
410
00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:09,839
Oh, all right,
sing it, you big lug.
411
00:20:09,908 --> 00:20:13,643
� Here comes Bob and Carol �
412
00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:17,247
� His wife Emily
really likes him �
413
00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:20,150
� He has funny people
in his group. �
414
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,752
Catchy.
Thanks.
415
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:24,220
This was the best night
I've ever had.
416
00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:26,122
Jim.
Thank you.
417
00:20:26,191 --> 00:20:28,992
BOTH:
� Here comes Bob and Carol �
418
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:32,362
� His wife Emily
really likes him... �
419
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:34,631
They are singing.
420
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:38,168
Looking good, Latka.
421
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,269
Good night.
422
00:20:39,337 --> 00:20:41,571
LATKA & SIMKA:
Good night.
423
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:42,872
Listen, maybe, uh,
424
00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:46,776
maybe you can tell him that
I'm not really interested.
425
00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:48,745
Hey, come on,
just let me drive you home.
426
00:20:48,814 --> 00:20:50,613
Oh, no, that's okay,
I'll just get a cab.
427
00:20:50,682 --> 00:20:53,650
I am a cab.
428
00:20:53,719 --> 00:20:57,154
Well... oh...
429
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,292
Thank you, uh, good night.
430
00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:03,493
Good night, Simka.
431
00:21:03,562 --> 00:21:04,662
Good night.
432
00:21:09,902 --> 00:21:14,037
Oh, boy, you really know
how to throw a shloogel.
433
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:16,473
I tell you,
that was a real barn burner.
434
00:21:16,541 --> 00:21:20,577
You know, everybody
fell happily in love.
435
00:21:20,646 --> 00:21:24,147
Everyone turned out
just splendidly...
436
00:21:24,216 --> 00:21:28,452
except Alex, but I think
he'll recover one day.
437
00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:30,487
What do you think, Simka?
438
00:21:30,556 --> 00:21:34,224
I think we're all going to die.
439
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:41,565
I think love is an illusion.
440
00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:50,340
I think we failed with Alex,
who laughed at our traditions.
441
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:56,580
And he was right because that
girl will never see him again.
442
00:21:58,684 --> 00:22:01,585
And so we are
frauds, my darling.
443
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,088
Oh.
444
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:06,756
Too bad.
445
00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:11,495
Damn right, too bad.
446
00:22:22,274 --> 00:22:24,207
Well, good night.
447
00:22:24,276 --> 00:22:26,276
Night.
448
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:28,145
(sighs)
449
00:22:28,213 --> 00:22:30,414
Well, ordinarily I'd ask you
for your phone number,
450
00:22:30,483 --> 00:22:32,649
but I'd feel kind of silly
asking for that now,
451
00:22:32,718 --> 00:22:35,585
so I'll just...
452
00:22:35,654 --> 00:22:37,788
settle
for the first four digits.
453
00:22:40,993 --> 00:22:43,093
You laughed.
454
00:22:43,162 --> 00:22:45,295
That was funny.
455
00:22:47,599 --> 00:22:50,734
I'm sorry.
456
00:22:50,803 --> 00:22:54,204
Have you ever been
in a terrible mood all day
457
00:22:54,273 --> 00:22:56,173
and then got a headache
458
00:22:56,242 --> 00:22:57,741
and cramps,
459
00:22:57,810 --> 00:23:02,212
and then had some guy start
to fall in love with you?
460
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,182
Sounds rough.
461
00:23:06,284 --> 00:23:08,385
5552.
462
00:23:08,453 --> 00:23:10,153
Is that the first four?
463
00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:13,122
Mm-hmm.
464
00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:17,527
And the last three are 437.
465
00:23:22,767 --> 00:23:25,202
(chuckles)
466
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:37,647
(theme song playing)
467
00:23:59,771 --> 00:24:01,038
WOMAN:
Good night, Mr. Walters!
468
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:02,305
(man grumbling)
469
00:24:05,978 --> 00:24:05,981
(theme song playing)
470
00:24:05,982 --> 00:24:05,985
Oh... Oh, no, no, no.
471
00:24:05,986 --> 00:24:05,989
No, I... No,
I understand.
472
00:24:05,990 --> 00:24:05,993
Yeah. All right, good-bye.
473
00:24:05,994 --> 00:24:05,997
Banta, Nardo? Reiger, Reiger?
474
00:24:05,998 --> 00:24:06,001
ELAINE:
What?
ALEX: Hmm?
475
00:24:06,002 --> 00:24:06,005
Come over here.
Come over here.
31837
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